(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best adolescent psychology books

> I insist on getting the school side of his life right, I am not compromising there.

By the time a child is a teen, they should already know how to take responsibility for their academics. If you still need to hound him about schoolwork, that's not good. It's not your role to do that. Enlist the school, see if they have academic support classes that can teach him how to be more organized. Insist he (NOT you) talk to his guidance counselor; perhaps he's in classes that are beyond his aptitude level. If it's a lack of being challenged, his counselor can help get him into more demanding courses. Or, encourage him to look into courses of study outside of what is offered in the school. Find something that makes him excited and motivated. Learning isn't all done in a classroom.

Important here is that he takes the initiative. You can coach and nudge, but resist the urge to do it all for him. If he's only a few short years from going to college, he's going to need to know how to do this on his own, because you won't be there. I know (based on what you wrote elsewhere) you want to be there, but you shouldn't be holding his hand in college. You shouldn't be holding his hand now!!

You need to let go, let him fall down and make his mistakes and learn from them. It's not the end of the world if he gets lousy grades in high school. It's normal to think that, but it's simply not true. He's got an entire lifetime to get his act together.

I will share that two of the most successful people I know nearly flunked out of high school. Okay, one was a solid D student. The other actually did flunk out. The D student (my sister) went to community college, got her act together, graduated a solid C student... then went on to a career in sales where she makes $300K. She excels in sales - she does not excel in classroom learning. The other person flunked out, spent a few years floundering around, decided to change her life, went back for her GED, worked part-time jobs while sending herself through college over a period of years, and now is also in sales, making $300K.

Then there's story after story of computer whizzes who don't go to college but found start-up companies.....

> What's more I need to push him to go out more and meet more of his peers and I do it, because he'd turn into a hermit (computer addicted hermit) if I let him.

What you are doing here is telling him there's something "wrong" with his personality that needs to be "fixed." Your job as his mother is to accept him as he is. It's possible he's an introvert. It's possible all these "peers" are into drugs, and he wants no part of it. You just don't know.

It's also possible that home is where he recharges his batteries, and he's completely different outside of the house. My youngest (16) is like this. When she's home, you can't get her off the computer, t.v., or her nose out of a book. She withdraws completely, and acts grumpy and hermit-like. But when she's out of the house, she is ON - an extreme extrovert, chatterbug, go-go-go!! She tells me that when she comes home, she just wants to unplug and relax...

I highly recommend this book to you:

http://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535

as well as this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Teen-Discoveries-about-Teenage/dp/0385721609

One more anecdote I'll share, about my oldest, nearly 18 now. She has her first job this summer, as a camp counselor with small children (age 5 and 6). I was very concerned about this, because at home, she is irresponsible, easily distracted, daydreams a lot, and doesn't seem to like children at all. She has a half-sister and she doesn't get down on the floor and play with her. If the house was burning down around her ears, she'd never notice... etc, etc...

Guess what? The camp is reporting that she is the BEST counselor they've ever had!! That the children all adore her. That she's attentive, responsible, etc, etc.... they even gave her extended hours! Complete surprise to us....

But, not really. This is the way it is with teens. You get the bad side at home - because it's safe for them to be bad, to regress. Meanwhile, they are completely different outside of the house. They are busy making you proud. You cannot judge how your son acts at home, as how he acts outside of the home.

Nah, but these are the types of guys feminism will create out of 90% of men. You've got a wave of feminists who require 'trigger warnings' for things like saying the word 'rape', ffs.

Go to SRS and see the amount of apologetics for liking cis white 'brodudes' given to women. 'Your vagina will like what it likes!' will be seen in every direction.

Feminist ideology for men relies on prostration and 'privilege checking'. When you have a dogma that elicits this type of garbage to much fanfare:
http://www.amazon.com/Guyland-Perilous-World-Where-Become/dp/0060831359

The men who follow feminism are going to feel--and often be required--to show how 'not like those other guys' they are, to always get 'enthusiastic consent' verbally "just in case" even though it turns almost all women off, to quell confidence and confident behaviour for fear it's too 'aggressive', and to limit his sexuality and feel shameful for having one due to ostenisible patriarchal mores.

I've got a question:

why do you think that almost every feminist guy, at best, looks like this?

http://www.buzzinetv.com/sites/all/libraries/kcfinder/upload/images/Jamie_Kilstein_080211_350-1.jpg

Why do you think most of the women on the side of the feminist dogma at FtB/A+/Skepchick look like this:

http://radiofreethinker.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/img_0152.jpg

Doesn't this start to warrant actual thought and discovery when the pattern is so prevalent?

>Too many people don't understand how simple and non-radical the concept of feminism really is

It has scary sounding polysyllabic words that sound like they're saying something different than they are, it talks in a very intellectual place, and it's attacking ideas literally thousands of years old. It tells people to stop certain behaviors, without explaining why in the audience's vocabulary. Btw, these behaviors were literally beat into you as an 8-14 year old boy. "Fags" and "Homos" and "Sissys" get the shit kicked out of them. Conform or get threatened with physical violence.

If you asked most men "Would you like to get rid of the thing that makes it okay for your boss to shit down your throat and talk over you?" most of them would say yes. If you ask them "Would you like to renormalize workplace power relationships to a more consent based model inclusive of many communication styles, including those of women" they go 'huh' and dread having some sensitivity training and having to watch what they say on top of their 65 hour workweek that the patriarchy has imposed on them

I would love to see a new edition of Guyland with the shiny feminist terms toned down a bit, or a slightly more sex positive The Will To Change

Feminism is great. It's goals are typically admirable. But it's not setup to sell itself to men, so don't be surprised if the group that's most sold to doesn't get how to digest something that's not targeted at them.

Side note that didn't get addressed by Dr. Nerdlove- The LW's family was not a feminist family even though her mother was the breadwinner. An abusive relationship cannot be feminist in nature because abuse (from any party in a relationship) goes against the very heart of feminism.

There's some great research being done by academics in gender studies on toxic masculinity and if anyone is interested in some reading material, there are some great folks like R. W. Connell, Michael Kimmel, or Tony Porter that might be helpful.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is very Christian-centric, which may or may not be your cup of tea. In case it isn't, here are a few alternatives:

What I Told My Daughter

Dads and Daughters

A Father's Guide to Raising Daughters

I have a daughter, and while I understand that eventually there will be issues in her life that are girl- and woman-specific, my philosophy is that she is still my child first. It's about guiding a child into becoming a person who makes good decisions in their life. Which means I suggest looking more at parenting books that talk about the kind of parenting style you hope to use first, you know?

With the caveat that I haven't read any of these yet, but when I found out I was having a boy I looked for similar recommendations and this is my reading list:

• Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men
  
• Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
  
• Boys Adrift
  
• Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
  
• The Trouble with Boys: A Surprising Report Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, and What Parents and Educators Must Do
  
• It's a Boy!: Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18
  
  (I got caught up in reading childbirth and infant care books, which seem more pressing. If anyone has actually read any of these, I'd love to hear your opinions, especially if it can help me prioritize them.)

In my opinion, the test was pretty easy compared to others I’ve taken. I would imagine you’re feeling a lot of pressure having this one thing stand between you and graduation, which might be sending you into panic mode.

Read the book, then read it again - take the practice tests, then find some more online and take those too. You still have plenty of time before Tuesday - Good luck!

Edit: Which book are you using? I used this one.

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

I have always spoken with my son as if he's a little adult. Treating him like a child never worked.

My son would wear shorts when it was snowing and long pants in the summer. It doesn't seem to bother him much anymore though he will wear his jacket all day in school literally until I tell him it's way too hot to keep wearing it.

There are social story books you can get. There are all kinds: Xmas, birthday parties, brushing your teeth, going to school, how to greet someone, etc.
Just a few ideas:

http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Social-Story-Book/dp/188547766X

http://www.thegraycenter.org/social-stories

http://www.sharonscreativecorner.com/279/making-social-story-books-about-your-child/

This book doesn't focus so much on trauma as it does the teenaged brain. It came to mind (no pun intended!) when I read your question because it definitely helps in understanding how teens can "connect deeply with others, and safely experiment and take risks."

Brainstorm by Dan Siegel

I'm definitely following this thread - think that trauma is such a huge, largely unaddressed, issue in secondary education.

I recommend you reading about evolutionary psychology (if you haven't already), this book explains a lot of the biological reasons behind certain human behavior and it is a good introduction on the subject.

The sexual culture most youth come to age in is not exactly the healthiest one. A really good book on the subject of young women and sexual desire is "Dilemmas of Desire" by Deborah Tolman. Not sure if the OP is interested in an academic work on this, but it could be a mind blowing read for a young straight male.

I can't remember if Graham's MMPI-2 book describes Welsh codes or not...but it's my preferred reference manual overall.

Other references that I know for a fact describe Welsh codes:

My second favorite reference, Friedman's MMPI-2 book.

Nichols' MMPI-2 book also describes Welsh codes, but I wouldn't recommend it as a resource overall...he tends to run with interpretations that are clearly outside the bounds of what the current research substantiates.

Edit: Graham does briefly mention Welsh coding, only to say that "...the usefulness of these coding systems diminished, and in the revised version of the MMPI-2 manual a coding system is no longer described or recommended."

Getting into the big mysteries of parenting here. Lot of books on this, and none of them perfect. So I'm not going to even pretend I can tell you how.

But here's a great book:

https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Teen-Discoveries-about-Teenage/dp/0385721609

And here's a bit of advice: If your kids are moving forward, even slowly, and staying out of trouble then they are already in the 90th percentile. Teach them how to manage their own personal growth. Easy to say, hard to execute.

There is a wonderful book on this subject called Odd Girl Out.

This book. http://www.amazon.com/Preparing-Adolescence-James-C-Dobson/dp/0842350373

I wish I were joking

Here - regain your award with a new owners manual:

The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062067842/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awd_ptrIwbB1JEWNE

First, free speech may be great for society as a whole, but as a parent you have to discern what speech is age appropriate for them to hear and process. For example, it's not appropriate in my view to teach 5 and 6 year olds about gender issues and sexuality. They just can't process it at that age. (Leftists want to push that crap on little kids.) I plan on engaging with my kids on any topic they want to discuss, but it's my job as a dad to think through what they can and cannot handle at any particular age. When my kids are teenagers, that'll include all kinds of things that I cannot discuss with a 4 year old.

Second, I think it's actually a myth that kids will supposedly backlash if raised strictly. (This was addressed specifically in the book, "The Collapse of Parenting" by Leonard Sax.) Good parenting is training children to become adults. That's more about self-control than being exposed to every idea under the sun.

Hockey is big in many of New England Prep private college preparatory schools (Prep Schools)

This book gives a good snapshot of what it was like in the 90s. I have no idea if it is still the same now.

https://amazon.com/Restless-Virgins-Survival-England-School/dp/0061192058/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1491317584&sr=8-2&keywords=restless+virgins+movie

Since you set it up, I highly recommend the book "Why are the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?"

healthier minds and better educated people. see peter gray: https://smile.amazon.com/Free-Learn-Unleashing-Instinct-Self-Reliant/dp/0465084990/

I would recommend Pink Brain Blue Brain as a general-audiences book and Brain Gender as more of a scientific one.

http://www.amazon.com/Developmental-Profiles-Pre-Birth-Through-Adolescence/dp/1111830959

What about this? Is this something you are familiar with, or do you think it would be worth perusing?

Personally, I suggest reading this book. It's ridiculously helpful.

I think a great book that helps me really understand female aggression is "Odd Girl Out." I read it many years ago and I still remember things mentioned in the book when I am in situations when another woman is being less than pleasant towards me.

An excerpt from a review of the book:
>Author Rachel Simmon's explains in graphic detail how boys tend to bully acquaintances or strangers but girls attack within tightly knit friendship networks, making aggression harder to identify and intensifying the damage to the victims so the impact can be felt well into adulthood.

I wish someone would have given me something like this in high school or even middle school would have saved me a lot of wondering where I went wrong, when it never was me at all.

Edit: typo

An American Hook Up talks about promiscuity in college, specifically hook up culture. Guyland talks about it too. Neither found that those engaged in hook up culture in college had trouble with long term relationships later in life. I doubt you'd find any study that says they would.