Reddit mentions: The best autism & aspergers syndrome books

Join a parenting support group, support is very important. Also realize that you don't have to "parent" her alone, it takes a village to raise a child right? Friends, family, they're there to help you, reach out to them when you need help. Take care of yourself too.

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Discipline is hard- you can always ask for help from friends and family if you're struggling with this. It is a learned thing, it doesnt always come easy. You'll learn together what is working and what isnt. My mom has always said the best way to raise a child is with love and respect for them. Boundaries *need* to be set. I am not a parent- however I do work in child care. Make a list of "house rules" that state bedtimes on school nights and weekends, amount of time she can be spend on electronics per day, any chores she should be doing (ie feeding the dog, helping with dishes, picking up her room), how far she is allowed to go by herself (do you have a yard, is she allowed to go to the neighbors house to play?), movies/shows she's allowed to watch (ie Netflix Kids, Youtube Kids, watching shows like NCIS but with parental guidance, Cartoon Network, PG rated movies), is she only allowed to eat in the kitchen or is food allowed to be eaten in the living room or her room?. Make sure you communicate these rules with her and make them clear. Simple discipline can be taking away TV/internet privileges for a day or two, not getting dessert, limited electronics time, verbally explaining why they shouldn't have done xyz (but include constructive ways they can avoid that happening again/better ways to channel that energy- redirection to a healthier and more constructive thing has been helpful in my experience).

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Realize it is okay to feel inadequate and like you can't do it. Raising a child is hard work. Support groups are important when you feel burnt out and make sure to get a little "me time" and do some self care.

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As for puberty issues, I personally have strong opinions on it just because I was raised abstinence-only poor to terrible to no sex ed land. A lot of people recommend that American Girl The Care and Keeping of You book and I personally had that book growing up. I would call that a good "starter" book, but please do not make that the only book. It does not cover periods as extensively as it should. The care in the book is waaayyyy too generalized and leaves a lot of questions unanswered in my opinion. There's more options for menstruation care now- menstrual cups, cloth pads, period underwear- not just disposables. I highly recommend this book: The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods. I realize it says "autism" but it is extremely comprehensive and covers cloth pads and cups as well as disposables. It has lots of clear diagrams and pictures and answers *every* question you could possibly have on it. It is the most comprehensive period book I have come across. Precious Star Pads on youtube and Put A Cup In It on facebook/their website/youtube are awesome resources for this. Even sexplinations on youtube is a great resource for puberty/sex ed.


Don't be afraid to ask someone you view as a female role model for her to talk to her sometimes when you feel she just kind of needs that kind of thing.

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You got this, I wish you the best of luck <3

> I don't want a diagnosis via internet forum, but does it make sense to go against my therapist (who won't ever diagnose me with Asperger's because I can communicate OK with him one-on-one) and pursue a diagnosis from a specialist?

Yes, it absolutely makes sense. I've seen so many reports from others who have been in a similar situation, diagnosed multiple times with various conditions, with the possibility of Asperger's/autism repeatedly dismissed on superficial grounds, as if the mind isn't full of layers, many of which are hidden beneath the surface.

> Could it be that I flew under the radar for so long?

Indeed. Especially as a woman, there's a strong bias to attribute your behaviors and qualities to anything other than Asperger's. This bias exists both in general culture (for example, hormones are used to explain away so many female behaviors without any real consideration) and in the culture of the mental health profession (largely due to the original research decades ago focusing on male children, almost completely ignoring both females of any age and adults of any gender).

I'm a male myself, but it wasn't until recently, when the profession started to wake up to the possibility of Asperger's being just as prevalent in women as it is in men, that I started finding resources that I really connected with. Thus, I suspected I had Asperger's when I was 24, but it was only once I was 32 and revisited the subject that I found all the stories by other "under-the-radar" aspies, many of them women, and could truly connect with those experiences, learning from them and learning about myself more deeply. I certainly have some male stereotypes too, but the stereotypes have done a lot of harm, causing many people to go unrecognized for so long.

> And does anyone have tips for pursuing a diagnosis?

I just got done reading the book I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults, and I think it could be a useful read for you. Some of the details of the middle chapters are US-specific, so their usefulness will depend upon your location, as the diagnosis process differs quite a bit throughout the world. It's also a quick read. (I should have gotten this book a while ago; I had read the author's second book on the subject, Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate, over a year ago and loved it, as well as many articles on her blog Musings of an Aspie, and her first book indeed had the same quality.)

A somewhat longer book which I'd also recommend, with more of a focus on the reflective and emotional side of the diagnostic process, and less on the concrete details, is Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): How Seeking a Diagnosis in Adulthood Can Change Your Life.

I'd also recommend considering finding a therapist/counselor who specializes in adult Asperger's/ASD, without necessarily focusing on an official diagnosis, at least in the short term. If you can relate to the experiences shared by adult aspies, and you feel like you are obtaining deeper self-understanding and highly applicable advice from books and online, it only stands to reason that you could find similar help from a counselor who is willing to approach your situation from that angle. I found a great counselor by very cautiously reading through the descriptions on the Psychology Today therapist search page. Might've gotten a little lucky that my first pick was a good pick, but it worked for me. Also, insurance might complicate this; I paid out of pocket, so I was free to go wherever for whatever reason.

So yeah, that's the essence of my advice: Self-directed research through books, blogs, and online communities, a sympathetic counselor regardless of current diagnostic status, and plenty of time and space for introspection. Also, be liberal with the self-love; when a person internalizes the perceived expectations of the society around them and feels like they are always failing to satisfy those expectations, it can be brutally debilitating, and can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Learning how to wisely choose and live by my own expectations was one of the best things I've ever done.

I registered a new account just so I could interrupt your speech concerning Autism and Obama.

Obama does NOT view Autism in the same way you do. I write from wiki with linked out articles:

>Ari Ne'eman is an American autism rights activist who founded the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. On December 16, 2009 President Barack Obama announced that Ari Ne'eman would be appointed to the National Council on Disability. Ne'eman has a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome, which would make him the first person with an autistic spectrum disorder to serve on the council. After an anonymous hold was lifted, Ne'eman was unanimously confirmed by the United States Senate to serve on the Council on June 22, 2010.

My kid is Autistic. He is awesome. He isn't a disease or something to be ashamed of that "destroys anything". Way to put a label on a young child:

>helped my family kick the living shit out of a condition that destroys everything from children, to finances, to marriages. It even protected my neighbors property values

What bullshit. My kid knows who and what he is and has love and confidence about himself. There are struggles sure, but i have never made him feel "less than" and THAT is what you are doing.

I can only imagine you have glossed over and see only what you are DETERMINED to see, lest your fucking property value deteriorates. What a cad. He is a child. A whole human being, with rights, feelings and a dignity that you obviously cannot understand.

The information you have been fed about Autism as a disease that needs to be scrubbed away is wrong.

I assume you are getting is from Autism Sp eaks. (assuming can be dumb - but the words you have used point to that direction) They are a top heavy- research only- money hungry- scam. All good advocates stay well away from that organization. Their executives are paid top dollar and ALL money goes to "research for a cure" and "preventative measures". Nothing goes to helping families work with children and adults who are living, loving and working in the real world right now in ALL the various forms of Autism. NONE.

These children are different and amazing in a way you will probably never understand - seeing what you think is important. Why did you even HAVE children? Property values? Sheesh. It's your SON!

There are quite a few Autistic people on Reddit, and proud of who they are. If everyone was the same, the world would be beige. 1 million in a lifetime for ANY child is possible -- and worth every damn penny.

if you are smart and a true parent(please look up the word) you will be brave and try reading some better information.

books by Ellen Notbohm

popard free autism resources and videos

http://www.autisticadvocacy.org/modules/smartsection/category.php?categoryid=8

http://www.aaspire.org/

https://autreach.backpackit.com/pub/1382191

Barbara Coloroso book just for you

Try not to get bitter at me by ignoring/replying nastily - i could care less what you have to say at this point, get reading and become informed. Possibly in a few months we can talk.

Use those forums and understand that Autism doesn't just "poof" vanish because you are rich and paid for early intervention and filled him up with vitamins/starved him of certain foods. Be sensible.

I wish your son luck.

1. Read Neurotribes and anything by Temple Grandin as an introduction to how autism actually works. That's a really good start.
   
   
2. Maybe. I googled "Adults with autism Ontario" and hit this: https://www.autismontario.com/adults - it looks REALLY useful. They have workshops about future planning and transitions - I'd definitely get in touch.
   
   
3. Sometimes. Social stories help a lot. Jed Baker has written some helpful books - https://www.amazon.com/Preparing-Life-Transitioning-Adulthood-Aspergers/dp/1932565337?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc and https://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills-Picture-School-Beyond/dp/1932565353?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc...and I'm sure your local autism association will be able to help as well :)
   
   
4. You'd probably want help from a speech pathologist who specializes in autistic people (don't bother with someone who is not an autism specialist) - again hit up your local association for recommendations. Our speechies run social training classes as well...
   
   
5. Yeeeaaasss. But its (usually) hideously expensive. Here in Western Australia a child gets assessed by a clinical psychologist, a paeditatrician and a clinical psychologist. You fill out hundreds and hundreds of survey questions from proprietary surveys which are expensive to purchase and painful to code, from all accounts:) If you see a speechie, they can give you an assessment of his speech levels, but you'd want (probably) a Clinical Psychologist specialising in Autism to do a full assessment. Hit up your local association for recommendations, and brace your wallet !
   
   
6. Once again, I think Autism Ontario holds the answers here for you :)
   
   One last thing - we have a saying - if you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism :) So this:
   
   >Finn just knows his brother and how his brother is, so is of "little" help in the way I need
   
   is not necessarily true :) All you need to know is how Finn is, and you can go from there.
   
   May I also recommend /r/aspergers ? They have some excellent job and lifestyle related information over there as well...
   
   BTW - haven't mentioned this - but i think what you are doing is FANTASTIC. I cannot imagine how trapped and distressed Finn must be feeling in his current situation. You sound like such a loving person. I really hope this works out for you all !!

I'm not a celiac but years ago cut it all out for a year after feeling really run down for a long time. I noticed a strong mental improvement and positive change in attitude after a few weeks. I was much more alert for longer periods of the day. Previous any small setback would make me irritated but after cutting it out I could handle negative situations much better.

It is possible that cutting out gluten will help making it easier to learn simply by having more energy and easier to concentrate. It happened to me.

I came across a description in a book that it was like walking on air, which is the best way I can describe it. Check it out here

http://www.amazon.com/User-Guide-Gf-Diet-Autism/dp/184310055X

Good luck

48 yrs old female here. It’s all good :) there’s nothing to “face”. You now simply have a name for your wiring. You’re still the same person. & btw, autism doesn’t get caused by “childhood trauma”. You’re born autistic, so I’d question that statement..

Is this the only diagnosis they gave you? As if you’re doing EMDR, I’d assume you have PTSD as well or at least a severe anxiety condition. PTSD is brought on by trauma (or C-PTSD), but not autism, so there’s that.. & it would be your main cause for anxiety. I have a PTSD diagnosis, brought on by some events but also incl childhood abuse & it’s tough.

As for Asperger, just learn about it so that you can figure out your strength & weakness & how to best manage certain things. This book is brilliant: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nerdy-Shy-Socially-Inappropriate-Asperger/dp/1849057575 or you can read her blog https://musingsofanaspie.com/about/. Also: https://theaspergian.com/2019/07/25/is-it-trauma-or-autism-or-both/ (this site is very good).

I know it’s all a bit much now, but try not to panic. I have a long list of “stuff”: ASD, PTSD, GAD, PDA, dyspraxia.. & yet, I’ve learnt to manage it & I’m ok, happy even. Attitude is important, as well as self care. Look at the WRAP method too, many find it useful: http://www.cwp.nhs.uk/about-us/our-campaigns/person-centred-framework/recovery-toolbox/wellness-recovery-action-plan-wrap/ - Yoga & meditation really help as well. Take care.

oh man, i’m sorry. i’m chasing the younger (neurotypcial and just as much as a challenge as the ASD one lol) so this may be a half answer but:

I’m so sorry. it is kind of a shit hand in a lot of ways. there is a mourning period. it’s normal. there are stages. anger at his different behaviors and developmental challenges, sadness at the dreams YOU both had for him that may not (or they might still, don’t give up) happen. but IT WILL GET BETTER. there is also joy. and God help me I’m a bad person but it helped to be reminded in support groups: someone always has it worse.

ASD kids are HARD on marriages. they don’t mean to, they don’t even know but even the greatest, best communication-sex all the time-always in sync ones should be labeled as immediately at risk once this diagnosis comes in. fight for yours. two partners are better. you NEED one another. AND you both NEED a regularly scheduled break. but it if you have to go it alone he’ll still love you too.

so sorry about the friend and family situation. we’re in a similar boat. my parents are nearby but they’re a little old school and limited physically so we use them sparingly. we can’t afford a babysitter on one income.

i hear you on therapy. it was a blessing we found ourselves in a very resource rich school district. but contact yours immediately. we did and we’re quickly accepted into an Early (intervention) Childhood School that was part of the public school system (free) and provided speech and social/emotional (and occupational therapy but he didn’t qualify for that) therapies. he was at a church preschool but he was miserable. bless them, they were untrained and clueless. but at the ECS he blossomed. became a leader and gained so much confidence.

btw, check your local library for some “sensory friendly programs.”

last thing, reading. you’ve found tons I’m sure. this helped me and my family kinda get oriented with my essentially new son. God bless you. hit me up with questions or just a need to bitch bc that’s important too. lol

I'm in the opposite situation- did ABA for several years, now in residential. Look into this book. It's short and sweet, but a great step-by-step introduction into how to work with children with autism, esp. non-verbal children, on developing age-appropriate language. It's such a great and rewarding job, but remember to find joy in the small accomplishments. It's slow, incremental progress, but the end result is so incredibly worth the hard work. Good luck!

Start with the VB-MAPP. It’s really not that difficult to understand. Buy yourself 1 copy of the workbook and use it as a guide to write individualized treatment plans. Not everything in it is useful for every child though, particularly higher functioning kids so you will need to come up with your own goals as well. Just get out there and start gaining the experience and confidence. You will get there eventually. Also, if you need help studying, The CBA Learning Modules helped me tremendously to pass the test. They are expensive but worth it. Here are some more good resources I found helpful when I was in school.

Teaching Language to Children With Autism or Other Developmental Disabilities https://www.amazon.com/dp/0981835651/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_knMqAbP298N1D

The Verbal Behavior Approach: How to Teach Children with Autism and Related Disorders https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843108526/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9nMqAbDP5Q2SP

Both of these are fairly easy reads with good information. The second book I have given to parents as part of their training to help them understand basic concepts they can apply at home.

I haven't as yet read it but I have had this book recommended:

https://www.amazon.ca/Aspergers-Job-Must-Have-Functioning-Employers/dp/1935274090

Also there are a number of handouts to potential employers dealing with employees with Aspergers. One of them may be a helpful tool in communicating with the case manager. Perhaps sending one of them that is appropriate to your own symptoms to them before going in for an in-person interaction with them could help set the stage. Some examples:

http://www.forwardmotion.info/wp/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Employers-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf

http://www.autismontario.com/client/aso/ao.nsf/0/2CDA747C0E9D4C768525770D004B1B1A/$FILE/Employer's%20Guide%20to%20Asperger's%20Syndrome,%20second%20edition.pdf?openelement

http://www.amaze.org.au/uploads/2011/08/Fact-Sheet-Working-with-a-Person-with-Aspergers-Syndrome-Aug-11.pdf

As well there may be local organizations which may offer support or advocacy for people with ASD that are having trouble finding employment. I have seen instances where they can contact an agency or employer directly to effectively communicate information and strategies to them. They can also offer training and advice on how to do well in job interviews and how to adapt to a work environment.

You may want to look more closely at the types of employment or work environments that will be suitable or unsuitable for you.

https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Choosing-the-Right-Job-for-People-with-Autism-or-Aspergers-Syndrome

I find that communicating things in writing and then discussing them afterwards helps me in getting my point across. Perhaps create a one page document to show what the previous barriers to employment you encountered were, and what some alternatives or solutions for these barriers might be.

I'm not positive, but I think that those might be 3 contact numbers for the same organization. I found another contact number as well-
Dr Marianne KUZEMTSHENKO
Rahu 8
50112
TARTU
ESTONIA
E-mail : autism.eesti@mail.ee

Phone : 372 557 9980

I think that I might try her, as she's mentioned in the acknowledgements for a great book about kids with Asperger's and Multiple Diagnoses...Alphabet Kids, and I think that chances are pretty good that she speaks English.

It probably won't be easy, but it might be worthwhile trying to contact your uncles and see how things lie with them. There sometimes are family members who won't let themselves get caught up in family squabbles. If nothing else, you might at least be able to go somewhere for a while to get your GED, and after getting that maybe you could get into some kind of online work? I don't know how interested you are in computer stuff, but I know a good number of autistic adults who work with computers from their home, which might be at least some kind of solution for you.

I'll keep trying to think of things that you might try- again, I'm sorry that things are so rough for you.

• Teaching To Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by bell hooks
  
• Classwide Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports: A Guide to Proactive Classroom Management by Brandi Simonsen PhD, Diane Myers PhD
  
• How to Reach and Teach Children with Challenging Behavior By Kaye L. Otten & Jodie L. Tuttle
  
• The Behavior Code: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Teaching the Most Challenging Students by Jessica Minahan and‎ Nancy Rappaport MD
  
• Behavior Solutions for the Inclusive Classroom by Beth Aune OTR/L, Beth Burt, Peter Gennaro
  
• More Behavior Solutions in and Beyond the Inclusive Classroom by Beth Aunt, Beth Burt and Peter Gennaro
  
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Congrats on your 39 days!

What kind of resources and support system do you have available right now? Other family members? Regular therapist? Insurance? Inheritance?

Just the cleanup must be a huge process and I bet it would help if you could get some professionals in to help.

I’ll link you to appropriate resources...


Some good books to start with:

The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B3-rDb9D8J3T3

Personal Hygiene? What's that Got to Do with Me? https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843107961/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_C5-rDbWSY6ZK3

Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders https://www.amazon.com/dp/1934575429/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_b6-rDbM1213Q1

Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism https://www.amazon.com/dp/1885477945/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F6-rDbC0SF8R2

This is a pretty tricky and uncomfortable area for most in the US. (They are either on one side or the other with no middle ground and people who know nothing about it will have very strong opinions one way or another :) ) I think one of the kindest ways I ever read anyone bridging into the subject of possible gluten-intolerance/gut issues was in a GFCF cookbook, maybe this one though I'm not 100% sure it was that one. The authors basically said, "Autism is often only diagnosed as a psychological or psychiatric disorder and if underlying medical causes have not been investigated, well, you can't rule it out - so check for celiac disease" Additionally, researchers have found statistical links between maternal autoimmune disease and autism so they are looking at the possible autoimmune connection. Since there is no single test for autism, I think it's worth keeping an open mind to the possibility that researchers have not quite figured out a few medical causes of autism-like symptoms that might be helped by medical intervention. As far as putting that in front of partner's mom? Only if it happens to come up and only as sort of an "aside" comment. Like, "well, I've heard this info about the autoimmune connection and sometimes misdiagnosis and thought it was really interesting what researchers are finding these days & I would just be so glad if was any help to to you" or something. Maybe?

edit: At lunch I went double checking for some of the interesting research. Here's a nice little one about rates of abnormalities in intestinal barrier in autistics and first-degree relatives. Results "indicate that measuring IPT [intestinal permeability] could help to identify a subgroup of patients with autism who could benefit from a gluten-free diet." Note the word "subgroup" - very important for us all-or-nothing-americans to pay attention to. :) There's a pdf here that's an editorial not a peer reviewed bit of research and seems to be an overview of medical literature relevant to gastrointestinal disorders in autistic children.

If you want to get a diagnosis, for whatever reason, you should. I got my diagnosis last year at the age of 42, and it was life-changing for me. I am now finally able to not only accept myself and my differences, but take care of myself better now that I fully understand what my challenges are. Good luck!

Some resources that might help you in the meantime:

• Aspietests.org: for the Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised test, the Friendship Quotient test, the Autism Spectrum Quotient test, the Empathy Quotient test, the Systematising Quotient test, and more.
  
• Aspienwomen: Moving towards an adult female profile of Autism/Asperger Syndrome
  
• Day 62: Females With Asperger’s Syndrome (Non-Official) Checklist
  
• I am AspienWoman: The Unique Characteristics, Traits, and Gifts of Adult Females on the Autism Spectrum, book by Tania Marshall
  
• Temple Grandin, the film
  
• How People With Autism Fake It: words from behind the mask

A lot of people in this thread seem to identify themselves as conversational narcissists. What are some techniques they can use to change their habits?

For example, some people might feel they never think of appropriate supporting questions; how could you develop this skill?

Others might have difficulty engaging with people they don't already know well; where might they practice? Bars and Toastmasters clubs are common recommendations, are there others worth checking out?

---

Edit: I had a chance to look in my notes, and the best candidate I've found for practicing social skills with strangers is speed-dating. You get a lot of practice with a lot of people in a short period of time, and in addition to the normal channels of social feedback, you also get concrete confirmation of mutual attraction.

One way of increasing empathy might be to watch babies and try to figure out what they're thinking. Finally, this book is apparently pretty good for working on fundamental social skills, whether or not you're on the autistic spectrum.

Don't start with a general doctor, even good ones probably don't know the best resources for autism spectrum (which includes aspergers). Call someone at the link below and/or spend some time online looking at google searches with something like adult+autism+resources+nova scotia along with words like "therapists", "psychiatrists", "specialists", "psychologists", and talk to some people you find in the industry for recommendations.

Also the light switch turned on for me looking at books like "Aspergers on the Job" and reading what basically was a blueprint for my mind and how I process things, so that may help. FYI, the sooner you find the right resources for you the better your life will be--I wish I did it years ago.

http://www.autismsocietycanada.ca/

http://www.amazon.ca/Aspergers-Job-Must-Have-Functioning-Employers/dp/1935274090

Some good things and some less-important things in there. As a data point, here's a basic basic version of what's worked for many kids I know with autism who have various levels of communication and social skills. It's based on basic behavior analytic principles. All the books you read and videos show a kid to create "readiness" will not replace clear cues and consequences (that you of course systematically and gradually remove as a child becomes more independent). Specifically: frequently scheduled potty trips (start at every 15 minutes and increase gradually when you get successes), increasing fluids to increase opportunities to use the potty, rewards (chosen with child input!) for successes in the potty, not making a big deal about accidents (no attention/reprimands/etc when unwanted behavior happens), rewarding initiations to use the potty, and teaching all the things you need to do before and after using the potty (as the article says - sitting on the potty, removing clothing, wiping, rearranging clothing).

Folks might find the toilet training chapter in this book an additional resource.

Im currently have a proffesor that is autistic and has done a lot of research on it.

First, some short pieces of my own writing...

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/what-is-autism/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/throw-away-the-masters-tools-liberating-ourselves-from-the-pathology-paradigm/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/autism-and-the-pathology-paradigm/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurodiversity-some-basic-terms-definitions/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurotypical-psychotherapists-and-neurodivergent-clients/



Next, some videos...

My friend Steve Silberman, journalist and autism historian:
https://www.ted.com/talks/steve_silberman_the_forgotten_history_of_autism

A 2007 video that was one of the earliest public statements by a nonspeaking autistic activist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnylM1hI2jc

Spectrum, a 23-minute documentary featuring a few autistic folks including my nonspeaking poet friend Tito and me:
https://www.pbs.org/video/iptv-presents-spectrum-story-mind/

My advice for parents of autistic children:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6GnPgro5BY



And here are some book recommendations...

The Real Experts, a short book of autistic writings for parents of autistic kids:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0986183563/

The ABCs of Autism Acceptance, another 101-level book for parents and others:
https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-Autism-Acceptance-Sparrow-Jones/dp/0997297174/

Plankton Dreams, a lovely brief childhood memoir by nonspeaking poet Tito Mukhopadhyay:
https://www.amazon.com/Plankton-Dreams-What-Learned-Special/dp/1785420070/

Diverse Bodies, Diverse Practices, a book on somatics and diversity that includes a chapter by me on autistic embodiment:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1623172888/

Authoring Autism, the definitive scholarly critique of the dominant discourses on autism:
https://www.amazon.com/Authoring-Autism-Rhetoric-Neurological-Queerness/dp/0822370115/

I am currently reading a book titled The Autistic Brain by an animal biologist named Temple Grandin. She is also autistic.

I haven’t yet finished the book (on chapter 3 still), but I’ve learned that for some people with autism, genes cause developmental anomalies. Particularly, brain functionality is short in some areas, and spectacularly abundant in others. I guess those with photographic memory and good recall is one of those serendipitous gifts.

Temple Grandin also has this ability to draw detailed images from her head. She even has a diagram in her book showing an MRI scan of her own brain with the enlarged neuropathways largely responsible for that talent.

So frickin’ interesting!

Some books that I have come across:

• Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum: Let's Relate! - Brian King - The second half of this book had some incredibly useful advice about working around my communication difficulties, he discusses communication difficulties from book an adult and child point of view. (As well as being autistic himself, King has autistic sons).
  
• The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A Guide to Living in an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who is on the Autism Spectrum - Maxine Ashton
  
• The Asperger Couple's Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Couples and Counsellors - Maxine Ashton - These books kind of go together as a set but it's not necessary (if for example, workbooks are not your kind of thing). Ashton has worked as a counsellor for couples - where one or both are on the autistic spectrum - for about ten years.
  
• Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome - Eva Mendes - Another relationship counsellor for ASD relationships.
  
• Love, Partnership or Singleton on the Autism Spectrum - Luke Beardon and Dean Worton - Not so much advice on relationships, but rather a collection of autistic people discussing how they experience relationships of all kinds.
  
  I can't really recommend one over any of the others (perhaps other posters can add their recommendations) as there were parts in all of them I found helpful, and other parts I found less helpful. Most of them are available on Kindle so you can have a look at the free samples to get an idea if any of them suit you.

I like H. P. Lovecraft's perspective on death. He was very probably an aspie, (I just bought: https://www.amazon.com/Lovecrafts-Syndrome-Aspergers-Appraisal-Writers/dp/1502994410 ) .

IN 'Ex Oblivione', it says: "But as the gate swung wider and the sorcery of drug and dream pushed me through, I knew that all sights and glories were at an end; for in that new realm was neither land nor sea, but only the white void of unpeopled and illimitable space. So, happier than I had ever dared hoped to be, I dissolved again into that native infinity of crystal oblivion from which the daemon Life had called me for one brief and desolate hour."

It's an extremely short bit of prose, in case you're interested:
http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/eo.aspx

Right on. Aspergers isn't something you "have". It's something you are.
I gave my boss a copy of Aspergers On The Job (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1935274090) - he knew before that I'm an aspie but this helps understand a little better.

I've never hidden it. Embrace the differences and thrive.

(Heck, many of the people I work with are probably somewhere on the spectrum. Yay engineering.)

This is a great book... really good summary and is a must read for everyone that has an autistic child in their lives
http://www.amazon.com/Things-Every-Child-Autism-Wishes/dp/1935274651

Don't let random people fit you into a career based on stereotype. Asperger's is a pretty complex syndrome to begin with, and now it's technically combined as part of ASD. People didn't really have a good grasp on it before, and don't think about the range of severity when approaching this topic.

Check out Asperger's on the Job
. It's a very quick read, but features a lot of evidence-based findings and approaches for people with Asperger's to consider when dealing with the workplace (For example, the struggles with job security...). And as always, I like to point any career-curious people to My Next Move to play around and narrow down specific fields that fit their work styles and workplace preferences.

This book is great for parents, it covers a wide array of topics and offers many usable suggestions. Additionally, this website offers many tools that can be helpful in enhancing communication and social skills.

Cynthia Kim's blog and book have been our best guides as a couple:

Musings of an Aspie, especially LESSONS FROM AN ASPERGERS-NT MARRIAGE . I know you guys aren't married, but lots of the tips still apply.

Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate

Making an NT-Aspie relationship work is a two-way street. Kim is good on stuff that you BOTH need to learn. For example:

> Apologize when you do something that your partner finds hurtful.

> This is true for both partners, but especially for the aspie partner. There are times when it’s hard for aspies to see why something is hurtful. Get over it. It doesn’t matter if what you said or did was unintentional. It doesn’t matter if you meant well. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s silly or meaningless. Just apologize.

> I know this can be difficult. My first instinct is often to say, “but that’s not what I meant” or “what’s the big deal?” This is a bad idea. If your partner is hurt by your words or actions, then it is a big deal. Ideally, your NT partner will be able to calmly identify what you did and how that made him feel: “I feel hurt when you point out in front of other people that I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation.” And then you can just as calmly consider his point of view and apologize: “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that would bother you. I’ll try not to do it in the future.”

> Obviously, having this conversation calmly and lovingly can be a hard place to get to. For a long time, my husband thought I had a mean streak. After learning more about Asperger’s, he began to understand that my AS wiring is responsible for a lot of the dumb stuff that comes out of my mouth. Now he tries to calmly point out when I’m being insensitive.

We had to learn this one the hard way. The fact is that Aspie-NT couples often hurt each other's feelings unintentionally because we're not wired up to perceive the same things in the same way emotionally. It's really like a cross-cultural marriage. You can't win an argument about which culture is "better." You just have to learn what the other person's taboos are.

And, most of all, you each have to have bedrock faith in your partner's good intentions, and truly believe that the other person did not intend harm, no matter how obvious it seems to you that what they did was "wrong."

Good on you!

You can't become a "registered behavior technician" and work with your own child but you can absolutely get the 40 hour training and have a consulting BCBA that trains, supervises, and updates the program for you.

Some other useful resources for implementing your own program are the classic Maurice and Green book and Mary Barbera's book and courses for "gung ho parents."

I read a book recently that might help in this situation. [Asperger's on the Job] (http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Job-Must-have-Functioning-Employers/dp/1935274090/ref=la_B0039XA9M4_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395793100&sr=1-2) gave me some good tips on how to navigate job-related situations.

I just read this book and it conveys the basic concepts in a beautiful, simple way.

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

http://www.amazon.com/Things-Every-Child-Autism-Wishes/dp/1935274651/ref=pd_sim_14_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=51nHl1KOasL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR107%2C160_&refRID=1RK2JE56ATQX4EY87Y80

I highly recommend taking a look at http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Job-Must-Have-Functioning-Employers/dp/1935274090 and having him read it. A big part of getting ahead with AS is playing to your strengths - the normal rat-race structure of sending out resumes and failing interview after interview isn't going to do him any favors.

Speaking of book recommendations, I have not read this one yet, but it addresses the issue directly and has good reviews so far.

The Verbal Behavior Approach: How to Teach Children With Autism and Related Disorders
http://amzn.com/1843108526
This is a fantastic place to start. It will provide you with a new framework for understanding and addressing behavior.

If you are feeling ambitious:
Applied Behavior Analysis (2nd Edition)
http://amzn.com/0131421131

This is the "bible" for ABA. It can be a little technical, but not beyond the average adult's comprehension. At the very least it will give you a reference.

So long as you aren't suicidal, nothing wrong with self-education. The professional community is lacking in ASD as a whole.

Being forced to NT standards, and then burning out because of it sounds common.

Here are some resources that I know of... I was just diagnosed, and some of these were recommended by the psychologist who made the diagnosis. I am a man, but I have mostly female stereotyped manifestation/traits of ASD.

Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey

https://www.amazon.com/Pretending-Normal-Aspergers-Syndrome-Spectrum/dp/1849057559/

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843106698/

And for free you can check out Cynthia Kim's Blog:

https://musingsofanaspie.com/about/

She has a book too:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1849057575/

If you have the ability to start ABA, take advantage. I've been a therapist for the last decade, and I have seen world's change for these kids with the right therapy. I worked with a little girl who came to the clinic a little older than two. She wouldn't let her dad touch her and she screamed all of the time. Her poor father had never hugged his daughter. Now she is in a typical class and has tons of language. Her life got completely turned around by ABA therapy. One little boy came to us at age two and he only like to watch lint fall and he had no language. He is also mainstreamed and was able to have his diagnosis removed. Another young man was functional in high school, but was completely rigid and did not engage in conversation. After his senior year and three years of ABA, he got an internship st a hospital and was able to carry on simple conversations. ABA, when implemented properly, is as close to magic as I've ever seen.

I highly recommend this book:
The Verbal Behavior Approach: How to Teach Children With Autism and Related Disorders https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843108526/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awd_Hhtywb1FT6Y8S

I'm sorry you have to go through this. All is not lost, your son is so young that early intervention can have a profound effect. Find a support group and educate yourself on the rights of your child. It won't be easy, but you're his mother and you can do it.

You might find some good connections on www.wrongplanet.net

I've heard this is a good book on the topic: http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Job-Must-have-Functioning-Employers/dp/1935274090

Sure sounds like it. Check out these books. I'm an adult but they still helped me a lot:
https://www.amazon.com/Asperkids-Secret-Book-Social-Rules/dp/1849059152
https://www.amazon.com/Nerdy-Shy-Socially-Inappropriate-Asperger/dp/1849057575/

The Autistic Brain: Helping Different Kinds of Minds Succeed

I'm reading "Women and girls with autism spectrum disorder" by Sarah Hendrickx at the moment and so far it's good.
Amazon link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1849055475/

This should make for some fine reading.

http://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills-Picture-School-Beyond/dp/1932565353/ref=pd_sim_b_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=1XDQKNZZGK34D713B45R

This is one I give to many of the parents I work with.

https://www.amazon.com/Verbal-Behavior-Approach-Children-Disorders/dp/1843108526

Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849057575/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_sSEGAbARNZ9DZ