(Part 3) Reddit mentions: The best pregnancy books

Good for you!

I feel the same way. I've never been on birth control and will never be at any point in my life, unless there was an actual medical necessity and it was the only option. I decided that a few years ago after doing a lot of research on how birth control affects women's bodies. It's downright scary just how little legitimate research there is on a medication that is used by a third of all women in developed countries. But the little I could find convinced me that I'm not going to mess with that. It's not just things like weight gain, mood swings or lower libido - many of those effects are are lot more insidious and rarely known, and some even seem to be permanent.

I'm not against hormonal birth control on the whole, though, it's certainly a tremendous scientific achievement, very useful for many women, and to each their own. I just wish more women were better informed about the effects it has on their bodies, and more doctors were honest about them as well. Not all women experience negative effects, but if you did, quitting was definitely the right choice for your health and wellbeing.

I also wish more women actually had positive feelings about their menstrual cycles. I'm glad you're enjoying yours :) It's going to get better once your body adjusts. And the neat thing about natural menstrual cycle is that it can serve as a great litmus paper for general health. Whenever there's something wrong with my body, it always shows first with my period. If I eat a shitty diet, my periods get painful, and if my sleeping pattern becomes too irregular, the periods also get less regular. I kind of love it. And I get what you mean by "feeling more like a woman". Not to say that women who don't have menstrual cycles are not "real women", but for me personally, my reproductive system is the core of my femininity. Everything else - beauty standards, assigned personality traits or even most gender roles, etc, are mostly cultural, but menstrual cycle and reproductive abilities are the most defining feature of the female body.

I really recommend looking up Fertility Awareness method. It's mostly used for women trying to conceive, but with the combination of condoms and/or pullout, it can be quite effectively used for contraception as well. There's certainly a learning curve, and you'd have to track your cycle for at least six months to see if it's regular enough and know all the patterns in detail, but if you err on the safe side (using a barrier for more days around ovulation than the recommended 5-7), it can be pretty much 100% effective. The plus side - no artificial hormones, and you can have "bare" sex on a number of days of your cycle, and you get to truly know your own body and how it operates, become more "in tune" with yourself, etc. It takes more effort than other birth control methods, but it's also more rewarding - you really start feeling like you're "taking charge of your fertility" (that's what this book is named, and very aptly, I think; one of the best resources about this method. And best of all, these days there are wearables that make tracking so much easier than having to manually take your temperature every morning at the exact same time (I couldn't do that because I never wake up at the same time). Check out Ava bracelet, it seems like the most advanced and promising one. Also Yono, TempDrop and OvuSense.

On the advice of friends, I got a Pack and Play to use as a cosleeper, as well as an extra one for the living area. I'm getting two cribs that can convert to toddler beds, but we plan to only set up one at first. My ideal set up would be to have a non-mini Arm's reach cosleeper in the bedroom, but I haven't yet found one at reasonable price.

Some babies love swings and others dislike them, so I'm starting with one swing, a rock n play, and a vibrator/bouncer and I'm going to see which item is most popular. I've been told that all of those can cause head deformities if the babies are in them for too long, so I have two maya wraps, two slings, and an ergo so we wear them.

I went with the Chicco keyfit car seat wise since it had the highest rating on consumer reports and, after playing with what friends had, I liked it the best. The chicco cortina together is very nice and I loved it when I tried it out, but it wouldn't fit in my car, so I found a used Snap N Go for $25 instead. I decided to get that style instead of the side-by-side because I've heard of people having problems fitting the side-by-side in small doorways.

In addition to the double stroller, I also got a Chicco keyfit caddy because I plan on wear one baby and push the other around.

I decided to get the car seat strollers for when they are young because I want to make things as simple as possible when I'm still new to this whole parenting thing. I also want to try out a single versus a double stroller since I know people who prefer each, and the frame strollers are small enough that I can fit both in my car.

I've been using craigslist, a local message board, and Mothers of Multiples consignment sales to get good deals on a lot of items, so in the end, I expect to spend less on my strollers than many people pay for one new one. I'm buying the crib and carseat new, and I've gotten a few other items as gifts, but everything else is used because I'd rather be overstocked and try out items than find myself lacking something useful later.

As far as books go, I highly recommend When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets and Quads because of its scientific, fact filled approach. Mothering Multiples for breast feeding techniques. I'd also recommend going to your library and checking out various books on raising twins. I can't remember all of the books I found helpful because I read so many. For general child care, Happiest Baby on the Block is a must read (or see, there's a DVD). My friend who had a premature baby said that this book saved her life. At first she thought her daughter just didn't like being swaddled, but it turned out that you are supposed to swaddle premature babies differently than full term ones. Now that her daughter is properly swaddled, she's much calmer. That book also inspired me to spend the money on a sleep sheep which is currently kidnapped by a friend.

Another thing that you may want to consider is cloth diapering. I've attended a few Mother of Multiples groups, and cloth diapering has been repeated many times as a way to save money on diapers. Even though I live in a small town, there are local stores and groups for parents to share techniques and tips on cloth diapering. Mine are due to November, so I haven't personally tried it out, but on the advice of other multiple members, I have a bunch of premature diapers for when they are newborn, and a growing collection of cloth (bought used to save money) for once they are bigger. Since I'm having two boys, I'm also making/buying cloth wipes so I can avoid pee mishaps during changing time. You can also buy wash cloths in bulk that perform a similar function, but I've priced making my own or buying used as cheaper.

Congrats!

It sounds like the two of you have talked this through and made a decision. That's good. That itself should help your mental state.

Personally, I'm an information person. If something is changing in my life, I look it up. Internet, books, whatever. In this case, I recommend What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. They're pretty straightforward, and have information that will make you feel more informed and comfortable, help you decide what supplies you need and make decisions (breast or bottle, crib or bassinet, circumcision, etc.), as well give you little tidbits about how the baby's developing at each stage and how the mother's body changes (things she might have noticed but not thought to attribute to the pregnancy). If either of you is a worrier, I would recommend you skip the chapter on what could go wrong - every other page mentions the words "hemorrhage and die", and even though a complication that severe is incredibly rare, especially with good prenatal care, it might freak you out again. Personally, I read it, but that's just me.

Support each other, and keep communication very open. You need to be working together on this in every way. Keep in mind she may need physical support, as well as emotional. Morning sickness can be a bitch, or she may be tired all the time. Then again, she may get no symptoms. Every pregnancy is different - even for the same woman. You never know how she'll feel.

Find a good OB/GYN she's comfortable with. It's not fun being groped by and sharing intimate symptoms with someone you don't like. Find out what hospital to go to and if he'll be on call to deliver, and if not, who will be. Try to check the place out - some places offer maternity tours. Basically, plan enough and learn enough that you are as comfortable as possible with the process and confident that you know what you want. Be prepared to change your plan as necessary - it happens, and trust me, it's a significant part of parenting.

As for parenting - Be there for your kid. Spend time together talking, playing, and letting him or her know you love him. Learn to be patient, because you'll need it. Cover those, and you cover most of parenting. The rest is about teaching him to be the person you hope he'll be. Every parent starts with no experience and it's all on the job training, so your not at a disadvantage there. You'll learn as much from your kid as he'll learn from you.

Most importantly, don't worry so much! It will all fall into place, and you're in a much better place to deal with having a child than many. I realize that's futile advice, because even when it's planned, hell, even when it's planned and it's not your first, it's nerve-wracking. Pregnancy is like that. But the panic will subside, and you'll calm down tremendously once you realize that you can handle this - and you CAN handle this.

Congratulations, and good luck :)

From a historical perspective, birth in America was moved from home to hospital not as the result of evidence-based studies that proved it safer, but for social and economic reasons that are fascinating and too complex for me to take the time to write about here. Here's a great book on the subject. (BTW I am NOT advocating for homebirth, I'm just pointing out that the reason for the switch is really complex and interesting and had little to do with patient safety.)

It's interesting how much we want to cling onto the idea that the current status-quo of birth in America is the bees knees and how we give excuse after excuse why it can't be improved upon. When a woman's risk of cesarean is based significantly upon which hospital she chooses to birth, there's a systemic problem.

I'm fortunate to work with obstetricians, MFMs, and other CNMs who see the value in all specialties working as a team to achieve the best outcomes for our patients. My midwife partners and I provide care to all of the maternity patients in our practice, from the lowest to the highest risk, and in varying degrees of collaboration and co-management with our physician colleages. We're proud of our outcomes and I think the model can (and should) be expanded throughout the country.

People like to portray midwives as being completely anti-medicine/anti-doctor, and I agree there are some that are (usually not CNMs, though). I just implore the medical community to please consider that we can do better in the case of maternity care, and expanding the role of nurse-midwifery is part of that.

I went to a local walk-in clinic after I got a couple of positive home pregnancy test results (I don't have a family doctor because they're so hard to find here), and then they referred me to a delivery practice. If you know you want to go with a midwife, you can look up practices in your area and contact them--you may have to get on a waiting list.

I'm almost 26 weeks along and some stuff that's really helped me so far, all on the advice from other women around me who are pregnant or have recently had babies:

• If you're not already, you'll probably be exhausted and/or nauseous soon. This will probably pass in a couple of months. My second trimester was awesome.
  
• Bella Bands are the best. They'll let you wear your pre-pregnancy jeans for a lot longer and they'll help you hold up your maternity pants if they're a little to big when you first start wearing them.
  
• Prenatal pilates and yoga are great for helping to stay in shape, curbing back pain and preparing for labor & delivery. I've been using Ana Garcia's pilates dvd and Shiva Rea's yoga dvd and they've both been a real lifesaver for me
  
• Pregnancy Day by Day is a great resource for keeping up with what's going on with the baby. It gives you lots of tips on what you should or shouldn't be doing based on where at with your pregnancy and also explains a lot of what you're going through.
  
• Your abdomen may itch like crazy when it starts stretching, and you'll just have to try different products to see what works for you. I finally came around to using a layer of Mama Bee's oil plus a thin layer of Glysomed hand cream in the morning, and then using the Mama Bee's Belly Balm at night before I went to bed.
  
  It's great that you've started on the prenatal vitamins and cutting out caffeine. Just try to eat as well as you can, exercise, and rest as much as you like. And I think the others are right--it won't be easy to tell your other half, but it's best to do it sooner than later so you can give him more time to deal with it. But definitely tell a couple of other people you're really close to, whether it's your best friend or parents or whatever. You'll want that support whether telling him goes well or not.
  

Congratulations! :)

I'm a Christian in medicine. This isn't a Reformed or even a Christian book, but it's a very good book that I think all parents with newborns should read: Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year. (There's also a sequel called Infant 411 for after your baby's first year.)

Baby 411 is written by a pediatrician based in Texas named Dr. Ari Brown. You don't have to read it cover to cover, but you can just use it as a reference book to answer medical and related questions you have as they come up with a newborn baby. It gets scary taking care of a newborn, especially as a father your inclination is toward your baby's protection and safety (e.g. is the baby's neck going to snap and break if I hold him or her this way, is the baby going to fit into this car seat, what if the baby's poo is this or that color, what if the baby isn't latching on well to feed), and tons of other questions like these will bring fears and anxieties. But this book will help alleviate a lot of that. In fact, Baby 411 and Infant 411 are so good that pediatricians (residents) are often required to read these books in their entirety before they begin their training in the hospital so that they can know how to advise parents with little ones.

Hope that helps, and congratulations again! :)

I think things have to change with malpractice insurance. It has to. We are losing MDs doing births at all because of this. Our cesarean rate is also rising - we are losing any resemblance to natural birth in the hospital. In fact, I hear the word "natural birth" to mean "vaginal birth".

Doctors are given lower malpractice premiums when they have higher cesarean rates. This is not acceptable!

We used to be shocked at Brazil's 95% cesarean rate. I think we're well on our way. In my community, 40% of first time moms have cesareans.

I hope that we can find inroads that are free from malpractice protocols that allow docs to collaborate with midwives for teaching, safety, and general empowerment of women. I see other countries doing it, but unfortunately, our healthcare and malpractice system does little to help this goal of mine. :(

Our maternal and infant mortality rates are dismal. And it's not because we're using less technology or interventions. It's because we're using more. I really recommend a book called Expecting Trouble: The Myth of Prenatal Care in America by Thomas Strong, MD. He's a third generation MD, second gen OB and he has some amazing insights. Mainly, leave high risk and surgical birth to OBs, turn all other care over to midwives for better outcomes...and look at technology more judiciously.

Other books I recommend are:

Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner, MD

Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block

Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy

Lying In: A History of Childbirth in America

Above all, I wish that more providers would see that the motherbaby is one unit. They are not antagonists towards each other. Less intervention is better and if we could move towards more evidence-based practices we might see better outcomes.

Again, it all boils down to allowing doctors to practice freely. We have to see malpractice reform.

A friend got me the nursing mother's companion book for my shower and I referred to it frequently in the early days. If you know her size, nursing bras and tank tops come in pretty universal styles and I found I didn't have enough of those beforehand. Burlington coat factory surprisingly had a nice selection. Also nursing pads, lanolin, burp cloths, a nursing cover, a boppy or i preferred the my breast friend pillow . If she will be pumping, breast milk storage bags, a pumping bra. I used my pumping time to keep up with my 'happiness project one line a day journal,' which would be a nice gift for anyone. I snacked on a lot of breakfast/granola/trail mix bars in those days. Any quick and easy healthful snacks would be good. Drinks too - gotta stay hydrated!


Oh and don't forget we have to keep taking prenatals for as long as we breastfeed, so a bottle or two of prenatal vitamins would be wonderful!

I tandem nursed my kids who were 21 months apart. My toddler was down to a couple of nursings a a day when the baby was born, but we had the same thing you're experiencing. He saw me nurse the baby and wanted to nurse too. That became 12 nursing sessions a day for the baby, and another 8-10 for the toddler. I managed about a month, then weened my toddler. I got "touched out." I just couldn't stand to have anyone touch me at a certain point. I couldn't stand to have my husband snuggle next to me while we slept, or even hug me, because my body wasn't my own for so much of the day. But, I've met others who have successfully kept the older child from nursing with every newborn feeding, and nursed the toddler on a more limited schedule. La Leche League is a great resource, check their website for local meetings.

There a book as well, sorry for the formatting I'm on mobile: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0912500972/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505305727&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=adventures+in+tandem+nursing&dpPl=1&dpID=51CXD8M23FL&ref=plSrch

Wishing you the best of luck!

P.S. Always feed newborn first. Baby has higher nutritional needs and fewer sources than the toddler. I got to the point where I'd have multiple milk let downs, once for baby and another with the toddler, even with back to back sessions. And that happened quickly, like within a few days to a week. Drink lots of water and eat to your heart's content. That's a lot of calories burning! Bonus: I didn't get engorged with the new baby, my milk changed, but the toddler kept me from getting painfully full.

My best friend made a box like this for my little sister, when she finally graduated high school. She included: Ramen, energy drinks, etc. My sister also adored, The Naked Roommate, which gives some great insight and hilarious stories about life in college.

(http://www.amazon.com/The-Naked-Roommate-Issues-College/dp/140225346X)

Um, a lot of freshman I knew in college had a fake ID. If you're her sister she could probably use an old one of yours, though I don't advocate underage drinking. I know it happens, so, its pretty much never gonna change. What else did I like in college? Those Command 3M hooks are pretty awesome for hanging things that you can remove at the end of the year. Also I liked having Christmas lights up for decorative lighting. Posters are nice, and I'd second the prepaid Visa suggestion. I also would suggest a second book (http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/0743274865/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344122877&sr=1-3&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves) Our Bodies Ourselves which is kind of the end-all guide to adult women's health. It's an extensive guide for sexuality, medicine and nutrition, chock full of information. There's some really cheap copies out there, and it doesn't change a ton from one year to the next. I also got The Guide To Getting it On (http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Mostly-Wonderful-Adults/dp/1885535007/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344122976&sr=1-3&keywords=the+guide+to+getting+it+on) in college, and found it very informative. I can't think of too much else right now.

Dude, my wife is expecting too. 8 weeks give or take. Due may. Congrats to us all! I'm shit scared too, but just for a wile. Then I remember how awesome my wife is, and then it's ok. We've bought 2 books: The book of dad, and What to expect when you are expecting.

The dad one is very cool, funny, and witty etc...but true.

The expecting one is preety much "complete" on pregnancy and gives you a pretty good foundation. Read it with your GF.

Of course I don't know what's the terms between you and your GF, but if you at least pretend to be a good dad, the second one is a must and the first one is a lighter read on the subject.

Cheeers!

I'm so glad you're going to see a therapist. That should help. Also, if your son is at the 2nd percentile and he wasn't there before--in other words he isn't just naturally a tiny baby--please give yourself permission to give him formula. Combo feeding (formula and breastmilk) is what most women do and speaking from experience, it is great.

And for some women, breastfeeding itself prolongs the hormonal issues of post-pregnancy--in other words it prolongs postpartum depression and anxiety--so you might want to consider possibly going to all-formula, because babies need healthy, reasonably happy, sane mothers WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY more than they need breastmilk.

I drove myself nuts trying to give my twins all the breastmilk I could--a challenge because I had a massive postpartum hemorrhage, which messes with milk production--and I felt incredible guilt until my mom sent me a recent study that showed that all the supposed long-term health benefits of breastfeeding over formula are actually due to the fact that women who breastfeed tend to be in higher socioeconomic classes than women who exclusively formula-feed. It's called the discordant siblings study and it compared thousands of breastfed kids to their own siblings who were exclusively formula fed from day 1. They compared siblings in order to make sure that the kids had the same socioeconomic class/environment. Turns out absolutely NONE of the 11 health measures (obesity, asthma, etc.) showed an advantage for breastfeeding. Here's a link:
http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/sibbreast.htm

And I'm not knocking breastfeeding--it can be really lovely, and especially given how often newborns nurse, it's a lot easier than having to wash bottles and prepare formula for every single meal. I'm just saying that you are not required to breastfeed in order to count yourself as a good mom.

Best of luck with the therapist and everything. Oh, and PS, whenever you feel up to reading, you might find this book really helpful: "Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting"
https://www.amazon.com/Push-Back-Guilt-Natural-Parenting/dp/0062407341

I have exclusively breastfed my twins since day one, and it's been six months. They're growing well.

I will say that it's stupidly time consuming, especially in the beginning. If I were pumping, I couldn't do it: my body just doesn't respond to pumps (same issue with my singleton). Fortunately that's not an issue since I stay at home with them for now. You also will want to do everything you can to boost production and not skimp on calories. There is a useful reference book called Mothering Multiples which has some nice info on caring for twins, in addition to its useful info on breastfeeding. http://www.amazon.com/Mothering-Multiples-Breastfeeding-Caring-International/dp/0976896931/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453763391&sr=1-1&keywords=mothering+multiples

Other recipes for success will be learning to tandem feed, if only for one of the feedings, and finding a nursing pillow you like (I use the blessed nest pillow, like a big beanbag http://www.amazon.com/Nesting-Pillow-Organic-Nursing-Washable/dp/B001TFNPWA/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1453763636&sr=1-1&keywords=blessed+nest+organic+nesting+pillow).

Good luck. You can do it, if you want to. And if you can't, that's okay too.

No baby here yet (I'm due 3 days before you and still haven't popped yet!), but I have a few book recommendations. Your boyfriend might enjoy the first because it's amusing and not really overwhelming, called The Baby Owner's Manual. I am currently reading Mayo Clinic's Guide to Baby's First Year, which is more clinical but VERY detailed. I really enjoyed the mayo clinic pregnancy book because it wasn't as scare-tactic as some of the others (like What to Expect) but still gave good, evidence-based information. Speaking of evidence-based, I read and thoroughly enjoyed The Science of Mom, which is kind of like Expecting Better but for baby's first year of life. It goes over a lot of scientific studies, if that's your thing!

What to Expect (so patronizing, I couldn't even finish it)

The Mayo Clinic guide (horribly written, really dumbed down)

I wasn't thrilled with the Hypnobirthing book (the Monghan Method). I actually get the purpose of the technique and took classes but I had to wade through a lot of woo. That book could have been a booklet and they could stand to elevate the reading level a bit.

I read probably every book on baby sleep ever published. The one I think is most underrated is the Ferber book. Regardless of your opinion on the so-called Ferber method, there's a lot of great sleep science in that book. Didn't like the Baby Whisperer at all, and not because I had an issue with the methods but the writing and tone. My god.

Since I've trashed a bunch of books I'll make some recommendations:

Birth Day: A Pediatrician Explores the Science, the History, and the Wonder of Childbirth This isn't so much a what to expect but covers what is going on during pregnancy and childbirth. It's super interesting and very well written. I wish more people knew about this book.

Your New Pregnancy Bible pro: very detailed, lots of info. con: no one edited the damn thing

I actually liked the Happiest Baby on the Block but I thought it could be half as long.

Baby 411 This is more for when they're born but it's really straightforward and gives you summaries of current thinking on most things baby-related. Then you can do further research.

I got gilded for this comment two weeks ago, so perhaps it is worthy of a copypasta:

> I am new to the club these days as well. Aside from the ones that are often mentioned there are a few others that I found in the library that have given me food for thought, or my wife and I a laugh.

>(Pacifi)her has been wonderful. Despite the the title and the subtitle, this book seems to address a lot of important issues in a way that is cognizant of not being demeaning to either gender - for the most part. Great read, and totally different from all the other books you will read - more meta?

>Show Dad How and the sister book Show Mom How. Brings the feel of Ikea instructions to short comic strip like instructions on how to tackle any problems that might come an expecting or new dad's way. My wife and I have busted our sides looking over these books. We will purchase them when I have to give them back to the library.

>Man's Guide to Having a Baby. This has short sections that are easy to read, and has cute illustrations to keep the mood light. The information is all there, but the book can occasionally takes a bit of a bro-ish tone (that I have found in some books and bothers me since I find it insulting to both men and women).

>The Pregnant Body Book by DK Publishers (think all those kids' illustrated resource books). This is full of information and amazing visuals. My wife and I love that it is more of a coffee table book we can enjoy together. Probably expensive, so check your local library.

>Those are the ones that made the cut for me. I have started and skimmed through about twice as many, but the others (save the usual mentioned here) had nothing new to offer, or had an insulting tone.

>Perhaps the big idea is use the library. Find the books you like, and either go buy them or just keep renewing them. Save some money, spend a bit of time, find the resources that work for you.


Looks like you are already using the library (good choice), so hopefully some of these titles are around.

I really like Oxford's A Dictionary of First Names. It's mostly a list, like your standard book, but with better research and helpful lists of variants, plus a bit of info on different name categories and trends with the history behind them.

Laura Wattenberg is one of my favourite more casual, commercial baby name writers. She focuses primarily on the cultural aspect and I find her book "The Baby Name Wizard" is more insightful than most. It's very cognizant of trends but not too judgey. However it's very much a theme/style-grouping kind of book. I like that it shows popularity charts for each of the names.

Neither of these is great for OP's purposes but I figure I'll throw it out there in case it's useful to someone else.

My husband is also a scientist (space/engineer flavor) and he really enjoyed "The Expectant Father" and "The New Father" by Armin A. Brott. They are basically male versions of "What to expect when you're expecting" but with more research citations and less fluff. Your husband will probably also like "The Science of Mom: A Research-Based Guide to Your Baby's First Year" by Alice Green Callahan although it is written from a mom's perspective. It really emphasizes how child development is researched and tries to avoid opinion based commentary. I loved it personally. I also really enjoyed "Baby Meets World: Suck, smile touch, toddle" by Nicholas Day which is research heavy but also has a lot of the history of parenting and infant development.

Also because I'm a librarian I always recommend Jim Trelease's "The Read-Aloud Handbook". If you're unsure of how to read out loud to your children or just want some great recommendations for children's literature beyond the basics of "Good Night Moon" and "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" this is a great book. Note most of the book is recommendations with several short chapters regarding child development and parenting.

I really recommend reading [Pushed: The painful truth about childbirth and modern maternity care by Jennifer Block] (http://www.amazon.com/Pushed-Painful-Childbirth-Modern-Maternity/dp/0738211664) before getting pregnant. It very important information that I think every American should know, but I can't even begin to imagine how horrifying it would be to read while pregnant.

I've also heard that its pretty hard to remember all of the information you need to if you start reading pregnancy books after you get pregnant because of pregnancy brain. So its a good idea to start reading books like [Our Bodies, Ourselves: pregnancy and birth] (http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/0743274865/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382042400&sr=1-1&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves+pregnancy+and+birth) and [Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn] (http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Childbirth-Newborn-4th-Complete/dp/143917511X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382042460&sr=1-1&keywords=pregnancy+childbirth+and+the+newborn+the+complete+guide) so that you have a lot of foundational knowledge about what is going to happen. Then spend pregnancy reading positive birth stories so you can keep learning, but feel confident and happy.

I really liked this book: The Baby Name Wizard, Revised 3rd Edition: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby https://www.amazon.com/dp/0770436471/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.xvMybKP5A34J

It gives some interesting ways to categorize names too. Like if there is a nickname you both like, it'll help you find a name for the shortened version. Or if you both like names that are similar (girlier, short and sweet etc) you can look through the list of other names like that.

Here is a concise list from the FDA of what types of fish are recommended while pregnant. Fish (low in mercury) is great for your baby's brain!

http://www.fda.gov/downloads/Food/FoodborneIllnessContaminants/Metals/UCM400358.pdf

FDA and Mayo Clinic are great sources for information on a variety of pregnancy-relates issues. All facts, no fluff like you'll find on commercial sites like "what to expect", the bump, etc.

I really like the book The Pregnant Body. It has amazing illustrations and information about what is going on with you and your baby. It doesn't tell you what to do like a lot of other pregnancy books. It just provides information.

https://www.amazon.com/Pregnant-Body-Book-DK/dp/0756675596

I just finished The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. It's all about how to think positively and without fear about birth and how to make it an experience you feel in control over. Feeling confident and in control boosts your oxytocin levels which are crucial during labour. Overall great resource for getting you pumped about giving birth, whatever form you choose.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1780664303/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Yanezb7YBMCT1

‘It Starts With The Egg’ should be mandatory reading for all women TTC. Highly recommend! It discusses CoQ10 in depth. Per the book, I ordered this brand from Amazon which has show success in human clinical trials:

Bio-Quinone Pharma Nord Q10 Gold... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000GY77TW?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Here’s a link to the book too: It Starts with the Egg: How the... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999676180?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Best of luck on your TTC journey! 🤗🥚

These are all great! I would also add Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting, by Dr. Amy Tuteur. It's like the opposite of Ina May, which just helped me balance out the idea of "natural childbirth" with the scientific obstetrics side. Those two are polar opposites but I find reading two starkly different opinions helpful in making up my mind.

Also, Mommy.LaborNurse on Instagram has a natural birth course that is $39 that I really liked. Follow her or just watch her stories and she frequently posts a link for 20% off.

It's easy to focus on the pregnancy and not what comes after (raising a kid for the rest of you life). After my daughter was born, on the first pediatrician visit, my wife asked if the doctor recommended any books, and she mentioned Baby 411. It's been a great book, and it's well written to help with any issue we've encountered. I wish we had bought it while my wife was pregnant.

Otherwise, be supportive to your wife in her pregnancy, and once you kid is born, take the time to participate equally.

GDM researcher here :)

Check out Dr. Eddie Ryan's website http://diabetes-pregnancy.ca

Dr. Ryan is a world leading expert in GDM and has dedicate his life to helping women manage GDM. He's also a really nice guy haha. Likes cycling.

Also read check out this book if you can: Real Food for Gestational Diabetes: An Effective Alternative to the Conventional Nutrition Approach https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00S33XOH2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LaMLzbXCZ4A7Z

I found this series of ["Show Me How"] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Dad-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/1616281111/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-1&keywords=show+dad+how)
books to be humorous and quite helpful, there's [one for mom] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Mom-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/161628112X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-3&keywords=show+dad+how) too.

Working at a book store I have had several new parents looking for the [Happiest Baby Books] (http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526423&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block) (there's one for toddler's too). The American Pediatric Association also has a [book] (http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553393820/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526506&sr=8-1&keywords=caring+for+your+baby+and+young+child+birth+to+age+5) that covers Pre-birth to 5 years. I read a chapter each month to keep me up to speed on the miles stones ahead, my son is 3 now and it was incredibly helpful.

Good luck!

Pregnancy Day By Day is really cool because it shows you a picture for fetal growth every single day along with information about developments at each stage. It's thick like a textbook, but easy to read and you don't have to read it all. They have the new edition at Barnes and Noble for I think $40, but I just got the older version from Amazon for WAAAY cheaper.

Amazon UK shopping list:

• Taking Charge of Your Fertility
  
• The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant
  
• Mabis BBT thermometer
  
• OPKs - I know you don't want to start them now, but for £3.99, you might as well get them while you have the chance!
  
  Get some prenatals too and a free membership of FertilityFriend and you'll be set!

I'm having a good time with Happiest Baby on the Block (though I think it's really slow and repetitive, and their "conclusions" (it isn't this, this, or this, so it MUST be this) are a bit, uh, presumptuous; I think the book is spot on for how to treat the baby, especially in the "4th trimester") and The Nursing Mother's Companion. And these aren't baby books, but my husband and I are also reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner to prep for labor.

I have a few more books on my shelf to reference just in case, like Sears' The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (but I am wary of anti-vacc notions of the book), Brain Rules for Baby, and for fun, Experimenting with Babies.

Totally understand the feeling, I was right there too. I had three failed pregnancies in four months -- seemed like I could get pregnant really easily, but nothing stuck. I ran a panel of tests (all negative), made a bunch of changes to try to improve egg quality (the book It Starts With the Egg was super helpful), and scheduled an appointment with an RE to figure out if there was something else going on. But by the time I could get in with the RE, I had already gotten pregnant a fourth time the very next cycle and was up to 8 weeks, so I ended up canceling. I'm 11w2d now, and still scared as hell that something will go wrong, but hopeful that the early miscarriages were just flukes, bad genetic luck. I know that chemicals are so, so common, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. Wishing you luck!

The Positive Birth Book UK based, but it's awesome!

I got one called 40-ish weeks that seems pretty good so far. It's not overly tacky and is kinda fun.
https://www.amazon.ca/40ish-Weeks-Pregnancy-Kate-Pocrass/dp/1452139156

According to the book Making Babies, the recommended vitamins for men are around:

5000IU Vit A (beta carotene)
1.2-1.5mg Vit B1 (thiamine)
1.3mg Vit B2 (riboflavin)
5mg Vit B5 (pantothenic acid)
50mg Vit B6
400mg Folic Acid
100mcg Vit B12
500-1000mcg Vit C
800-1000IU Vit D
400IU Vit E (d-alpha-tocaphenol)
250-300mg Calcium
2mg Copper
2mg Iron
250-500mg Magnesium
1-2mg Manganese
50-100mcg Selenium
50mg Zinc

We were able to find most of this covered in the generic CVS Men's daily vitamin, but I'm sure there are better options!

I'd recommend Lily Nichol's book Real Food for Gestational Diabetes

I don't have GD but I loved her book Real Food for Pregnancy.

I nursed my second all through my third pregnancy and for a year after. It is definitely possible and normal. Adventures in Tandem Nursing is a great book with lots of information including diet recommendations.

I'm currently reading this book about guilt over c-sections / choosing not to breastfeed.

I think you'd really like it. It's called Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting.

the tl:dr of it is that as long as you and the baby come out alive and you're happy there is very little difference between the outcomes of babies who are delivered vaginally vs. c-section. or Breastfed or formula fed. There is no honour in suffering needlessly if you don't want to.

I got 40ish Weeks: A Pregnancy Journal by Kate Pocrass. I am kinda sucking at keeping up with it, but I think it is really cute!

I am going to read Making Babies and do an Amazon review (to link) and host a TFAB book club, where I will facilitate a discussion about it on an agreed upon date in TinyChat. I will be submitting a post today to invite people to join the book club.

https://www.amazon.com/40ish-Weeks-Pregnancy-Kate-Pocrass/dp/1452139156/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1497637149&sr=8-7&keywords=pregnancy+journal

I have this one and love it. It has a page for each day where I take notes on appointments/stats, symptoms, who we told, what size different apps say he is, etc. It also has a bunch of blank pages and pages with prompts (name ideas, who have you told, questions for OB, shopping list, etc).

The books are dumb. Sorry they're making you feel bad. Fortunately, pregnancy is not all that hard to understand, so arguably you don't need a book at all. If you want a book, I'd recommend The Pregnant Body Book, which is mostly glossy pictures of developing embryos and fetuses. I found it pretty cool.

As for TTC, you don't know you're infertile yet. If you turn out to be, try r/infertility. Since you have PCOS, you may need the help of a doctor, but I'm sure you already know that.

The Pregnancy Body Book is so freaking cool. I'm so amazed by the pictures http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0756675596/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?qid=1371231532&sr=8-6&pi=SL75

Super science-y

Much better resource, IMO:
The Nursing Mother's Companion, 6th Edition: 25th Anniversary Edit... http://amzn.com/1558327207

I recommend the book Real Food for Gestational Diabetes to everyone I know with GD!

Have you thought about a birth plan? Actually making a plan for what the best/worst case scenario might ease some of your anxiety.

Otherwise, I used the Gentle Birth app/classes and I felt so much more reassured about labour (if you can, watch their youtube vids). Also I recommend the Positive Birth Book for just the stories, advice and sense of calm it gave me. I though labour was all screaming, pain, sweaty and horrible - as depicted by tv. But it can be 'nice' too. So it helped me change my view of that. Sure I could still end up in pain, sweaty and screaming but hopefully I'll have the tools/knowledge to cope.

I'm 8 weeks away from my EDD and I'm not freaking out as much as I thought I would.

The Nursing Mother's Companion has been recommended to me by several people, though I haven't read it yet. I have been reading the AAP's New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding, which is okay so far.

Hi

I highly recommend reading:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342604233&sr=8-1

http://www.tcoyf.com/

I have learnt so much from this book. My one regret is that I wish I'd been taught this years and years ago.

I tandem nursed two set through pregnancy and a little after. Toddlers can be super aggressive nursers, and pregnancy can make breasts/nipples super sensitive. Add in decreased milk, and it can be aggrevating to painful.

We nightweaned with both sets while I was pregnant. I needed the sleep, and I needed to not be woken to nurse painfully for a few seconds every twenty minutes.

We tried counting down, but that made 'em angry. I did a lot of delaying tactics, "sure, we can nurse in a minute... let' have a sippy of water and cuddle first."

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing yet? I have no idea why it is listed for so much on Amazon; you can borrow from La Leche League or the library for FREE. Eesh.

I'm not sure if you just want to complain (which is totally valid) or if you want actual advice, since we've struggled with names, too. If you just want to complain, ignore the next paragraph.

It's really hard for either of us to just generate a list of names we like, so we bought a book of baby names. We bought a dresser for the nursery that took forever to assemble (drawers were unassembled), so while one of us assembled the other would read through the book, and any name I/he didn't hate, we said out loud to the other person. If the other person didn't hate it either, it went on a long list that had about 40-50 names. We then separately made lists of 10-15 names that we liked best from the long list, and finally made a shorter list of names that we both had on our individual lists. We still haven't settled on a name, but we have it down to two!

If you’re looking to add supplements, I recommend reading It Starts with the Egg. However, there’s obviously no guarantee any of those supplements will get you pregnant faster.

I've loved The Pregnant Body Book. It's a gorgeously illustrated medical journal on the process of pregnancy written for the layman.

I haven't run into anything judgemental yet. The section on pain relief goes over how each option works, their benefits and risks without any value judgements. Granted they don't go into formula feeding much since the focus of the book is biology but when they do talk about it they go over the benefits, how formula is made to imitate the nutrients in breastmilk, and stress that "it is important that a mother is not made to feel guilty if she feeds her baby formula."

Oh, and this book helped a lot! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1558327207?pc_redir=1395275083&robot_redir=1

https://www.amazon.ca/Baby-Name-Wizard-Revised-3rd/dp/0770436471/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1/143-2650797-1059622?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y1P4W0R96QM7B6DSCH6V

My friend's, which I didn't steal...

Type of giveaway (OPKs, HPTs, other): Book giveaway

Title: Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility

Willing to ship to (US only? other country? anywhere?): US only

I just read a couple days ago in my Pregnancy Day by Day book that movement in utero does not correlate with sleeping and waking time after they are born. Also your baby moves both while asleep and awake so just because it's moving doesn't mean it's awake and would be awake at that time after birth.

I'd been worrying about this, too! I picked up this book, The Nursing Mother's Companion, and it's really answered a lot of my questions so far. (I know nothing about breastfeeding either)

You are NOT a bad mother.

I'm sorry you went through this struggle.

I'd encourage you to pick up Push Back by Dr Amy Tuteur if you're still struggling with guilt and anguish over not being about to breast feed. Low supply has been medically indicated as a biological (genetic marker) fact--5% of mothers cannot produce enough milk to nourish a child. Here's her letter to mothers struggling to breastfeed

Please don't beat yourself up over this. You are a great mom!