Reddit mentions: The best special needs parenting books

Hi! I don't think I posted in your old posts, but I'm an Autistic mom of three Autistic kids and have been an active Autistic advocate for over a decade. :) If you need anything at all, my PM's are open. To start, there's a phenomenal book from the Autistic Women's and Non-Binary Network on Amazon called "What every Autistic girl wishes her parents knew" www.amazon.com/What-Every-Autistic-Wishes-Parents/dp/0997504528/ and it's VERY worth the read. :)

Autistic Women's and Non-Binary Network is a great resource: https://awnnetwork.org
Autistic Self Advocacy Network does some good work: https://autisticadvocacy.org
Foundations for Divergent Minds is an organization that uses neurodiversity principles to help parents adapt the environment to suit your kiddo rather than expect your kiddo to adapt to the environment: https://www.divergentminds.org
Onto the blogs that you really should read:

Everyone is going to steer you to ABA. ABA is coercive abusive BS. Here's a comprehensive post about why with links and all the better authors than me to explain: https://madasbirdsblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/25/i-abused-children-and-so-do-you-a-response-to-an-aba-apologist/

That blog link will explain why it doesn't even really work anyways.

Also, if you've discovered that kidlet doesn't make great friends, know that it isn't kidlet. There are actually studies that show that a lot of allistics don't really like us (Autistics) within as little as seconds after meeting us. Depressing but true. https://www.nature.com/articles/srep40700?fbclid=IwAR0M2Z3qTmpLxorT5X-Ja4V1jQ-Z3-wRsgSyAncp9UfYmD-UHbHyitOc3tA

I suppose I may have infodumped enough on a post that's probably not for that. >.> Just want to help. I guess feel free to PM me if you want more? HA! :)

I work often with children with CAS and they are some of my favorite students! The prognosis is good if it is the main area of difficulty but for children with other diagnoses (e.g. Autism, genetic syndromes, etc...) it depends on many other variables. Keeping that in mind, progress tends to be slow and takes a substantial amount of practice. I cannot tell parents enough that one of if not the most important components of therapy is regular practice. I also highly recommend supplemental therapy either outpatient or at a private practice if you are able in addition to what is being provided through the school district. Be sure to find a therapist who really understands motor speech disorders - the recommended approach for CAS is quite different than traditional articulation therapy. Be sure that your child is also getting help to get their message across and expand their language skills through use of communication boards/books or high-tech devices like iPads or Speech Generating Device (they will need an AAC evaluation for this). Speaking of Apraxia a wonderful and very comprehensive resource that is written by a mother with a child with CAS. Best of luck!

I got you covered OP. "Mixed" babies aren't cuter/stronger/smarter than everyone else, they're just valued by Asians because they think European traits are more attractive than their own ugly traits. For reference, please check out all the mixed/white celebrities that dot all of Asia despite their relatively small numbers. Additionally, being "mixed" as it is seen in America is only cute on kids, and unless your child is particularly ambiguous, most people will assume they're just Asian. Bad news: Asians in America still carry this dumbass attitude and believe European looks are better, but have the additional joy of being in a white-majority country, so... a lot of "mixed" people gradually become Asian "+" (whereas in Asia they might see them as much more "white"). Anyway, best of luck with your child. You can take any "Hawaiian" book with a grain of salt unless you plan on living in Hawaii. Instead, I'd recommend Sharon Chang's "Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World", so you can skip all the flowery language and just cut to what's relevant and usable.

Best wishes, r/hapas

I published my ebook on December 31st on Kindle. It was a pretty painless process, but I am no graphic designer and my cover design was basically a royalty free pic with the title and my name written over it using Paint (yes, I'll admit to it). It wasn't horrible although I'll leave that assessment to others by sharing a pic of it:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/A1PP5sueiBL._SL1500_.jpg

Last weekend, I did a free book giveaway. A lot of work putting that together with publicity, etc., but after it was over, I started work on adding new content to the book. While I was in the process of uploading the review manuscript, I noticed the "Cover Creator" option on Kindle. I looked around for a usable picture on flickr, cropped the image I found, and then tried out various covers. It was INCREDIBLY easy and a lot less frustrating than using something antiquated like Paint. Here's the final redesign:

http://www.amazon.com/Tips-Improving-Child-Autisms-Success-ebook/dp/B00HM1E1BE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1392807844&sr=8-1&keywords=8+tips+for+improving

Anyways, if you're an experienced ebook author then this may be old news and you just wasted the past three minutes of your life. But if you haven't used Cover Creator before, hopefully this information is useful: I could've benefited from knowing about this two months ago. (Yes, it was there two months ago, but NONE of the tutorials on ebook publishing that I read ever mentioned it so I never bothered to try it out.)

Here are the books I gave to my mom:
My Child is Transgender: 10 Tips for Parents of Adult Trans Children
by Matt Kailey
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00867Y6OU

Now What?: A Handbook for Families with Transgender Children
by Rex Butt
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010NZBEUQ

Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
by Rachel Pepper
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007TUY3PW

The first one is really quick and simple but is a good introduction. The second was my favorite, it was written by a parent and I think many parents can relate. It's really really great, don't let the author's name fool you. I didn't read all of the last one, but I figured it would be good to throw another one in there to tug on the heartstrings and sort of show my parents that if the parents in the book can adjust, so can they.

Im currently have a proffesor that is autistic and has done a lot of research on it.

First, some short pieces of my own writing...

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/what-is-autism/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/throw-away-the-masters-tools-liberating-ourselves-from-the-pathology-paradigm/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/autism-and-the-pathology-paradigm/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurodiversity-some-basic-terms-definitions/

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurotypical-psychotherapists-and-neurodivergent-clients/



Next, some videos...

My friend Steve Silberman, journalist and autism historian:
https://www.ted.com/talks/steve_silberman_the_forgotten_history_of_autism

A 2007 video that was one of the earliest public statements by a nonspeaking autistic activist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnylM1hI2jc

Spectrum, a 23-minute documentary featuring a few autistic folks including my nonspeaking poet friend Tito and me:
https://www.pbs.org/video/iptv-presents-spectrum-story-mind/

My advice for parents of autistic children:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6GnPgro5BY



And here are some book recommendations...

The Real Experts, a short book of autistic writings for parents of autistic kids:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0986183563/

The ABCs of Autism Acceptance, another 101-level book for parents and others:
https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-Autism-Acceptance-Sparrow-Jones/dp/0997297174/

Plankton Dreams, a lovely brief childhood memoir by nonspeaking poet Tito Mukhopadhyay:
https://www.amazon.com/Plankton-Dreams-What-Learned-Special/dp/1785420070/

Diverse Bodies, Diverse Practices, a book on somatics and diversity that includes a chapter by me on autistic embodiment:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1623172888/

Authoring Autism, the definitive scholarly critique of the dominant discourses on autism:
https://www.amazon.com/Authoring-Autism-Rhetoric-Neurological-Queerness/dp/0822370115/

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

tell them at an early age who they are, that they are mixed and they will be different. tell them that this this is ok and they don't have to be like everyone else

after that generally good parenting applies

no helicopter parenting, encourage physical exercise, instill good self discipline, don't stress on education too much, don't let schooling get in the way of education, let them find a passion and support it. do vaccinations.

Homeschooling will really help your child as the right therapy will build his self esteem, which will stoke his desire to grow emotionally.

I would suggest that you read the book My Baby Can Dance. While it is not academic i.e. loaded with research, it is filled with real-life experiences of children and families who have benefited from therapy for the child at home. It should answer most of the questions that you have.

Happy holidays :)

If education interests you, you can't go wrong with How Children Fail, How Children Learn, or any of John Holt's later works. Truly inspiring.

The Lives of Children by George Dennison is also amazing.

If I could go back in time and give myself something is the knowledge that Gifted people can be very different from the norm. Each person has different needs for a healthy life and it can be a challenge to those people who are not aware of those needs.

I think getting to know yourself at a young age and what Giftedness means could help you live a healthy life sooner rather than later.

​

Check out for resources and articles:

http://sengifted.org/resources/resource-library/

​

You can also find books like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intensity-Gifted-Students-Explosive-ebook/dp/B008XKBHRO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542935039&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+intensity+in+gifted+students

It really depends on how severely is your niece affected (is she verbal or not, and so on). I guess if you're planning pre-school you're already lucky and it isn't desperately bad.

I'd recommend to read these two books first and move on from there when you have this basic information:

1. Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin - a high functioning (and successful) autistic person explains the biology behind autism and her own experience with this condition.
   
   
2. Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents by Alan Yau - the first book is longer and theoretic, and this is a short collection of very concrete practical examples of how to interact with autistic children.
   
   Someone who is definitely not me might have unlocked DRM free versions of those books. So on an unrelated note, if the money is tight you can PM me so I can sympathise with you.
   
   

Like queeraspie said, we're not mentally ill. Hopefully you take something from your experience in this subreddit.

Here's some books which may help you and your brother. If he won't/can't read them, you read them and use the information you gain to assist him figure things out. Some are geared toward Asperger's, but will be a good read regardless.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Unwritten-Rules-Social-Relationships/dp/193256506X/
http://www.amazon.com/Social-Success-Workbook-Teens-Skill-Building/dp/1572246537/
http://www.amazon.com/Full-Life-Autism-Relationships-Independence/dp/0230112463/
http://www.amazon.com/Alone-Together-Making-Asperger-Marriage/dp/1843105373/
http://www.amazon.com/The-Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage/dp/1439189714/
http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Long-Term-Relationships-Stanford/dp/1843107341/
http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Love-Couple-Relationships-Affairs/dp/1843101157/

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

> Now how many do you think would have seen us together and assumed I was fetishizing her and that she hated Asian men or whatever the suggestion is. Someone who applies those assumptions on the regular would have seen me with her, at a party or just walking down the street, buying groceries together, and just have that belief re-enforced, despite being wrong in this case.

I don't assume that.

> "Seems to be a trend" is a bit of a cop out, an apology to absolve one of the intellectually lazy, shallow, negative generalizations that are about to follow.

Wouldn't you say that it's a trend that the_donald is often transphobic or islamaphobic? There is a new dude from /r/the_donald saying they have a traditional wife but "will be well rounded kids with no identity issues." Maybe twice a week? If you don't believe me come join the sub. Do I think all white guys dating asian girls fetishize them? No. That would be grossly hypocritical. I have a white ex.

> but is anyone really benefiting from a conversation that seems to revolve around and reinforce these generalizations?

Is it radical to ask couple to analyze why they are together and to make sure it isn't because of internalized racism or fetish and to make sure it truly is of love? Better couples with internalized racism or fetish don't have kids. It's not a good home environment. Racist people are not competent to raise mixed race children. They will only make their children's lives miserable.

Who is benefiting, I would say future hapa kids who are born from the a toxic environment need people to relate to and become comfortable in their racial identity, it's one place you won't be othered for being hapa. I would say it's a community by hapas for hapas mainly.

Oh and it's also benefitting future parents. There have been several threads asking for advise to what people thought their parents got right and got wrong and how to help raise a healthy mixed kid. Making sure people have access to hapa representation and common mistakes is also important. These are great booksr on raising mixed race.

http://www.amazon.com/Part-Asian-100-Hapa-Fulbeck/dp/0811849597?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Sharon Chang (a hapa) wrote a great book about raising half asian kids:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1482567027&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=sharon+chang

She also has a blog here:

http://multiasianfamilies.blogspot.com/

This sub is a little crazy for everyone, pretty much TLDR: kids of white male and asian women deal with self esteem issues while growing up. While kids of white women and asian men usually don't.

If anyone is at all interested in this subject there is a great sounding book coming out soon called "Made to Hear".

That's my concern too. I've seen this book recommended on this sub, and after reading reviews and an interview with the author, it's on my reading list. Check it out, because it seems like it will be a good resource for future parents of multiracial children.

My Child Is Special Needs.. Now What? The Ultimate Understandable Handbook To Advocating For Your Exceptional Child:

https://www.amazon.com/Child-Special-Needs-What-Understandable-ebook/dp/B07NBWJL16

​

Free until February 6th

There's one written by Lana Grant on motherhood and as autistic woman but I think it is also about being pregnant and how that might affect things like sensory problems. I'll link it when I'm back at my PC. Apart from that I know there are two books aimed at children who have autistic parents but I can't think of any others at the moment.

Edit:
From Here to Maternity - Lana Grant

And in case anyone has any interest in the "my parent has autism" books they are here and here.

The Autism Discussion Page books:
http://www.amazon.com/Discussion-anxiety-behavior-parenting-strategies/dp/1849059950/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454238422&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Autism-Discussion-Page-challenges-autism/dp/1849059942/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1454238422&sr=8-2

These are great for understanding autism and some approaches.

I know this is late but I just found this sub. I would highly recommend this book. Get to know these strategies now, because from what you describe she will face many challenges with peers and teachers. https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intensity-Gifted-Students-Explosive-ebook/dp/B008XKBHRO

Here are some resources:

1. An article explaining 3 subtypes of NVLD: http://simonbaruchcurriculum.pbworks.com/f/Non-Verbal%20Learning%20Disabilities.pdf
   
2. A video about the work of Professor Jodene Fine, who discovered the first anatomical evidence in the brain to suggest NVLD as a distinct diagnosis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGjLPy2pHRg&t=3s
   
3. A video about the differences between NVLD and Asperger's, which are commonly confused: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JWh3lrscqE&t=273s
   
4. This book by Peter Flom about his experience with NVLD, as well as practical advice for parents, teachers, adults, teens, etc.: https://www.amazon.com/Screwed-somehow-stupid-learning-disability/dp/069261169X

I haven't read it but this https://www.amazon.com/Autistics-Guide-Dating-Book-Those-ebook/dp/B0032UX9US appears to be written by women with autism.

Also this: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Spectrum-Guide-Sexuality-Relationships-ebook/dp/B01BCQP8KW/

I used the search term autistic dating. There are many other books, don't know whether the authors are NT or not, or whether they are good about explaining female aspie spouses or not.

Yes. I'm speaking about more of an ideological and institutional level. There's a definite medical industrial complex there.

PS: what makes you compare deaf people/culture to anti-vaxxers?

PPS: Late edit: you should read the book, Made to Hear. Explains a lot of what I'm saying here.

I have heard good things about this new book about raising multiracial Asian children but it has a very strident tone. Also if your child asks about race discuss multiracial role models.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

>I'm also skeptical of, or at least biased against, the idea that my wife married me for social-status reasons. She's far from socially undesirable herself, and is smart enough to get into a medical specialty that'll allow her a far higher income than mine in a few years.

Just the fact that she has higher earning potential than you, solidifies my bias that Asian women marry for whiteness. Whiteness itself is social status is a racist world. A lot of the stories in this subreddit are of Asian women who had high status, marrying down for white men. Just this past month, there was this Ivy league-educated woman from an upper class family marrying a deadbeat cook. There's also this woman who had a masters degree and came from a wealthy Chinese family who was bankrolling her deadbeat white boyfriend who ended up killing her. The definition of internalized white supremacy that leads to WMAF means that Asian women will hold lower standards for white men, because having a white spouse and future white kids is something thats valued by these women. Yea, your case is not as extreme as the two I mentioned, but this is the racist world we live in that you benefit from as a white man.

For anyone who plans on having half-Asian kids, I will always recommend this book by Sharon H. Chang: Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World, and her talk. The author is hapa herself, married a hapa, and has a hapa son, and her book published last year is the most comprehensive work out there on mixed Asians. You should understand that your children will considered Asian by society, as dictated by white society, but they will struggle to identify as Asian too. They will have little to no representation, and as parents of hapas who are monoracial, you should educate yourself, instead of blindly believing myths like that your kid will not face racism, that people will not constantly be questioning your children's label to them to rank them in society based on how white or how Asian they look.

Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World (New Critical Viewpoints on Society) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138999466/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_xqp-wbGP6GQAV