(Part 3) Reddit mentions: The best meditation books

Of course! Thank you for giving me an opportunity to be helpful. A couple of the links I added refer to A Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life by Shantideva. There is also a commentary version by The Dalai Lama called For The Benefit of All Beings. Also of interest: The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha and Cultivating Compassion: A Buddhist Prespective. Last but NOT least, an important summary work, which gets to the heart of Santideva's ancient treatise is Dilgo Khyentse's masterpiece, The Heart of Compassion: The Thirty-seven Verses on the Practice of a Bodhisattva. I'm providing Amazon links but please feel free to shop anywhere you like. :)

Reading is very good! These will definitely help. If I had to pick one I might go with Dilgo Khyentse's book. But it's up to you.

The best thing you can do is to begin a regular practice. A link in my previous comment talks about 6 cause meditation - and here I'm going to talk about Metta meditation - or Loving-kindness meditation. These are transformative practices that can bring a new understanding, and a new heart.

To practice loving-kindness meditation, sit in a comfortable and relaxed manner. Take two or three deep breaths with slow, long and complete exhalations. Let go of any concerns or preoccupations. For a few minutes, feel or imagine the breath moving through the center of your chest - in the area of your heart.

Metta is first practiced toward oneself, since we often have difficulty loving others without first loving ourselves. Sitting quietly, mentally repeat, slowly and steadily, the following or similar phrases:

May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.


While you say these phrases, allow yourself to sink into the intentions they express. Loving-kindness meditation consists primarily of connecting to the intention of wishing ourselves or others happiness. However, if feelings of warmth, friendliness, or love arise in the body or mind, connect to them, allowing them to grow as you repeat the phrases. As an aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your mind's eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the phrases.

After a period of directing loving-kindness toward yourself, bring to mind a friend or someone in your life who has deeply cared for you. Then slowly repeat phrases of loving-kindness toward them:

May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.

As you say these phrases, again sink into their intention or heartfelt meaning. And, if any feelings of loving-kindness arise, connect the feelings with the phrases so that the feelings may become stronger as you repeat the words.

As you continue the meditation, you can bring to mind other friends, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, animals, and finally people with whom you have difficulty. You can either use the same phrases, repeating them again and again, or make up phrases that better represent the loving-kindness you feel toward these beings.

This is a meditation practice you can undertake daily. This is my wish of compassion for you.

For the benefit of all sentient beings.

I'll start with one of the best books Moonbeams of Mahamudra. There is also an excellent commentary on that book by Ven. Khenchen Thrangu Rinpoche.

There is another real treasure available (atm, anyway): The Shenpen Ösel Magazine (From the web page:) "
Between the years of 1997 and 2003, Kagyu Shenpen Ösel Chöling published transcripted Buddhist teachings in the tri-annual magazine Shenpen Ösel.

The magazine sought to present the teachings of recognized and fully qualified lamas and teachers, with an emphasis on the Karma Kagyu and the Shangpa Kagyu lineages. The contents were derived from transcripts of teachings hosted by Kagyu Shenpen Ösel Chöling and other Kagyu Centers in North America." Just an great, great resource for teachings by Kagyu masters.

Another great Kagyu resource: The Mahamudra Meditation Center, also, not too surprisingly, created by a student of Khenchen Thrangu Rinpoche, Peter Barth. That site has a great Mahamudra Meditation Manual, which used to be available for free but now cost $5 on Amazon. Monks need to eat, too.

So, onto personal experience, which is all I can speak from. Buddhist teachers are definitely there for spiritual meditation questions. Your are correct that most answers on this forum are not even close to helpful. (There are some good ones and they are usually from the same people.) The best thing you can do is talk to meditation teachers. They will expect you to have read up on the material and be looking for clarifications or be asking about the correct direction to go, so to speak. Even with meditation teachers (monastics, non-monastics, etc.), quality of help can vary wildly. And the really good ones seem to get surrounded with people like us. :) So, one day at a time.

My experience has been that meditation is like learning to swim. There is no substitute for doing it. That $5 manual above is great for your practice. Also, as I also like the Gelukpa approach, the Intro to Meditation by FPMT (fpmt.org) is a great into to their meditation program. That course is free (after you register online), and the rest of that Discovering Buddhism course is not very expensive. As a "graduate" of that program, I can whole-heartedly recommend that program. (Lots of good guided meditation there.)

Hope that helps. Please do write or DM me if I can be of any more help. Good Luck!

If someone you know will use the money for something that hurts themselves or others, you don't need to give them, but it's usually not possible to know what a homeless person will do with the money, so it may be best to give it with the intention to help them and do so in a respectful manner.

"The second impure motivation is lack of respect.... Yet sometimes we forget to show respect to those who ask for help. We may look down on them or humiliate them, or we may be tempted to think how great we are and feel proud. If we want to practice generosity purely, then this kind of attitude must be abandoned. Bodhisattvas always regard those who come to beg for any material help from them as their great spiritual master and show enormous respect.... Another important thing to be aware of is the purpose of giving help. What this means is that we should thoroughly check on whether the help we give is going to harm others. Sometimes our motivation may be correct from our side and we feel no miserliness toward our possessions, but unskillful giving of help can sometimes harm others.

... The third wrong motivation is expectation. If we sincerely want to practice the perfection of generosity, then it is very important for us to try not to have any expectations. The kind of attitude we should generate is that we should regard those we are helping as our great spiritual master, regardless of whether they are highly realized persons or deluded ones, poor or rich. We should show them great respect and must make sure that our motivation is really to benefit them and not expect any kind of reward." – Geshe Namgyal Wangchen https://www.amazon.com/Step-Basic-Buddhist-Meditations/dp/0861716000

Karma is intentional action: “when you do something without intention, such as killing insects without knowing it... you do not accumulate the karma of killing.” Obviously, giving with the intent to hurt someone, such as giving them poison or drugs that they'll overdose on, is bad karma. Three impure motivations:

> The first is giving material help to other but with bad intent...

> The second impure motivation is lack of respect. When we give material help to others, our intention might not be to harm them but genuinely to help. Yet sometimes we forget to show respect to those who ask for help. We may look down on them or humiliate them, or we may be tempted to think how great we are and feel proud. If we want to practice generosity purely, then this kind of attitude must be abandoned. Bodhisattvas always regard those who come to beg for any material help from them as their great spiritual master and show enormous respect.… Another important thing to be aware of is the purpose of giving help. What this means is that we should thoroughly check on whether the help we give is going to harm others. Sometimes our motivation may be correct from our side and we feel no miserliness toward our possessions, but unskillful giving of help can sometimes harm others.

> The third wrong motivation is expectation. If we sincerely want to practice the perfection of generosity, then it is very important for us to try not to have any expectations. The kind of attitude we should generate is that we should regard those we are helping as our great spiritual master, regardless of whether they are highly realized persons or deluded ones, poor or rich. We should show them great respect and must make sure that our motivation is really to benefit them and not expect any kind of reward.

If a guy asks for money to buy cocaine, we should not help him:

> Another important thing to be aware of is the purpose of giving help. What this means is that we should thoroughly check on whether the help we give is going to harm others. Sometimes our motivation may be correct from our side and we feel no miserliness toward our possessions, but unskillful giving of help can sometimes harm others.

https://www.amazon.com/Step-Basic-Buddhist-Meditations/dp/0861716000

>Your response implies that Theravada is like the tree-trunk, while Mahayana starts at the point the branches shoot out in various distinct directions

Not really my intent... I would say that it is better to say that Theravada is a collection of specimens taken from a particular forest at a particular place and time. The Mahayana is a much larger collection of specimens, taken from many more locations over a much larger period. The movement from oral to written tradition complicates the situation, as does Sri Lanka's geographic isolation.

>Naively, I would argue that if that is the case, then should be at least some "common ground" introduction to this collection of Sutras that "all of Mahayana" accepts.

Something like Santideva's Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life may fit best with what you are looking for- it isn't a summary of sutras, but rather a summary of the thought of a particularly prominent school of Indian Mahayana. Manuals like this are a good example of the kind of texts that emerge in the Mahayana tradition and become very important in terms of the education of monks and practitioners, maybe more so than the sutra texts. At its greatest extent, with the Mahayana we're talking about a library's worth of texts that were preserved, composed, and debated over across a large geography and a long period of time. Only a subset of those texts survived transmission to Tibet and East Asia and were then organized and collected in the ways that made sense to their interpreters and translators. A specific text might be of central importance to one tradition, and collecting dust on a shelf in the others.

>Makes one wonder whether the proliferation of teachings, texts, and orientations evident in Mahayana is principally contradicting of the Buddha's teaching.

I think this is a somewhat common sentiment among people who are impressed by the clarity of the Theravada texts, but to me it's something of an unjustified leap. Within the Theravada canon, the Buddha remarks that the teachings that he has delivered are like a handful of leaves in a forest compared with what the Tathagata actually knows and perceives. The Pali Mahaparinibbana Sutta also records that not all of the Buddha's students gathered together for the first recitation of the canon, with some groups breaking off to preserve their own version of his teachings.

The early texts have a lot of repetition and enumeration that can clearly be seen as aides to memory for oral transmission- I have some doubts that the Buddha taught that way in the first draft. The giant lists of gods and bodhisattvas in Mahayana texts are often dismissed as exaggeration, but might also reflect the real popularity and scale of the Buddhist community once the great monastic universities of India were up and running. There are also big lists of gods and worshipers in the Pali Canon in places, but that seems to be ignored- I think a Western tendency to cut out the supernatural and cosmological features of the Pali Canon makes the Mahayana canon look more strange by contrast. The Theravada texts that you mention both come out of a Sri Lankan tradition that has made an active effort since the 19th Century to de-emphasize aspects of the tradition that are challenging to Western skeptics and emphasize the rational and ethical teachings- if you add back into the Pali Canon the things that are omitted, the Theravada Canon and Mahayana Canon start to look quite a bit more alike.

On the other hand, there are Mahayana teachings that are clearly directed at disrupting excessive attachment to the method of categories and enumeration that is found in the Agamas/Pali Canon... Something like the Diamond Sutra can be seen as a corrective to the human tendency to confuse categories for real things. The history of preservation and transmission for such a teaching might be quite different from the history of the Pali Canon, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it shouldn't be regarded as having the same authority. Whenever it was first written down, it seems to have been widely accepted by the community as having been something taught by the Buddha himself.

When we look at any sutra, we have to remember that according to our best evidence we are not seeing the verbatim words of the Buddha- more likely there was a 'seed' teaching that was preserved orally and elaborated and recorded according to the poetic and linguistic fashions of the time. Some 'seeds' may have been preserved orally longer than others, while some may have been subsequent creations by students. The early versions of the Abhidharma or 'matrika' (matrix) texts speak to this possibility.

Learn to meditate and do it daily; and find a good therapist and see them regularly. As has been mentioned, these questions are good ones to talk over with a therapist.

I've found the combination of meditation and therapy to be very good at increasing self-love and letting go of self-hatred and wanting to please others. Meditation helps you get to know yourself, and be able to tolerate discomfort and feel your feelings without needing to react or blame. It's a practice and it takes time and effort, like going to to the gym, but for self-love - but even 5 minutes a day does amazing things.

Therapy (talk therapy with a psychotherapist, hypnotherapy, or mindfulness-centered therapy) helps you understand yourself better and you and your therapist can create healing experiences that heal emotional trauma and wounds - lack of self-love often comes from emotional wounds you may not even know you have. It helps with finding your power within.

Meditation - most Buddhist centers will teach you for free and have regular classes or retreats to deepen your practice. You don't have to be a Buddhist or convert to Buddhism to do it. There are Shambhala centers in most major world cities where you can get free instruction; the Insight Meditation Society is also a good option. Reading about meditation helps (any books by Pema Chodron, The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness is one of my favorites. Jack Kornfield is another great author and meditator who talks about loving yourself, A Path With Heart is another favorite of mine), but there's no substitute for actually doing it.

Therapy systems that have worked for me have been Hakomi somatic psychotherapy and Wellness hypnotherapy - therapists run in tribes and these two places train therapists that helped me. There are lots of different therapists and modalities. You may have to try a few to find one that works for you. It paid off for me- I'm a lot happier, healthier, and have more self-love for seeing a therapist.

Loving yourself is an inside job - not something that will happen overnight, but a lifelong journey, a path of growth.

Congratulations for taking the first steps on it!

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hanh's Peaceful Action, Open Heart, which is wonderful, concurrently with A Guide to the Threefold Lotus Sutra, by Nikkyo Niwano, that gives a concise overview of each chapter. It also helps to have an introduction, in the form of a talk or short articles. There's a short chapter in Cultivating the Mind of Love on this Sutra.

I was at a retreat with TNH in the 1990's where he spoke about the Avatamsaka and Lotus Sutras, that's since been issued by Sounds True as The Ultimate Dimension.

Most of the talks were on the foundational practices for entering into the kinds of experiences described in these Sutras, and I found that his framing them in this way actually made them accessible. Remarkable!

These are good places to start.

As Thay said in his commentary, these are not so much works to be studied with the rational part of ourselves as they are to be received as inspired poetry, lived with and enjoyed. Then meaning of these sutras and the truth they speak of can reveal themselves to us gradually.

He says, in the beginning of The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching:

“When we hear a Dharma talk or study a sutra, our only job is to remain open. Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing. If we read or listen with an open mind and an open heart, the rain of the Dharma will penetrate the soil of our consciousness.

“The gentle spring rain permeates the soil of my soul.
A seed has lain deeply in the earth for many years just smiles.

“When reading or listening, don’t work too hard. Be like the earth. When the rain comes, the earth only has to open herself up to the rain. Allow the rain of the Dharma to come in and penetrate the seeds that are buried deep in your consciousness.

“A teacher cannot give you the truth. The truth is already in you. You only need to open yourself - body, mind, and heart - so that his or her teachings will penetrate your own seeds of understanding and enlightenment. If you let the words enter you, the soil and the seeds will do the rest of the work.”

Best wishes to you in your practice.

I'm probably the worst person to be giving advice as I have little experience but IMO the best place to start is meditation. You will both steel your mind in ways of concentration, self awareness, and sensitivty to its inner movements. You will also, having put enough time in, learn to develop siddhis that can help you along the way but they should never be the goal. A person can spend a lifetime meditating so you will need to pick a system that you can get comfortable with. I will suggest 3 places to start.

/r/meditation
-There is a ton of good advice here but also a ton of noobs who could potentially lead you astray and waste your time. They are overall not accepting of occult and siddhis. It is free though and you will find enough advice to get a basic practice going.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMindIlluminated/
-Get the book. Seriously it is a full roadmap and will take you to places brilliant and serene, beautiful and painful if you can put the time and effort into it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005TQU7P8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
-Written by a surgical dr who has come out as an Arhat. A big nono in the dharma community. As someone who has read a thousand suttas and spent thousands more hours meditating to verify the suttas. I was shocked to see him spell out so plainly how to progress down the buddhist roadmap. Previously, reading suttas i would have to experience something before i could understand the metaphors and nuance in the sutta, with this you can know what to look for and progress much quicker, much the same with TMI. This and TMI are very easily some of the best resources available to westerners today and i'll fight anyone who says differently.

https://www.quareia.com/apprentice-module-1
-I am brand new to this. Meditation here is more occult focused and i don't have the time in this system to verify much but I am enjoying what i have read in the first module. It goes much beyond just meditation though so you may find it useful.

I lied that was 4 resources. Anyhow I hope i'm not the only person that responds to your post. Good luck!

Thank you. After reading some D.T. Suzuki chapter four's 8 'chief characteristics of satori' sealed the deal for me. I have a much greater understanding of what happened now. I'm grateful for the work he has done.

I have been beginning to meditate informally (if that's possible :) but I know little about it and so have begun reading the book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, which I must say is so far an excellent read! I already know I'm going to order this one so there is a hardcopy on hand. Big thank you to Vplatt!

The self investigation is great advice for anyone. That's what impresses me about this Way. Everyone and everything says, "don't take our word for it, try it yourself and see!" And you know, it's effective when it opens. That "third eye" opens and it's so unbelievably "DUH!"

I love the entire extract but this spoke to me : "Let us once see into our own original Nature and we have the truth, even when we are quite illiterate, not knowing a word...." Taken from Kechimyakuron - Six Essays by Shoshitsu (as quoted by D.T. Suzuki in Zen Buddhism)

Thanks for the resources and encouragement!

I can truly empathise with you and I'm so sorry that it has been so rough. I'm 23/f with fibromyalgia and the the past year and half of the 8 years I've had it have been the worst. Fact is your life has changed, maybe not permanently, but in the here and now, it's different. Is it fair? No. But you can adjust to this life change and still be happy or at least, happier. I found this book very helpful in changing the way you think and interpret your sickness.

Have you thought about changing therapists if the therapy isn't working? I go to pyschotherapy and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I also need antidepressants to keep my mood and depression in check ALONG with therapy. Since it is so severe, you could talk with your GP and see if he would prescribe anything or have suggestions.

In terms of work, I'm working part-time at home for a family business so I get a bit of occupation and some cash. Have you tried a part-time job or maybe helping out a close friend or family's shop if possible?

Friends may come and go. I realised who my real friends are when I got sick. Lost one very close one and other friends and solidified some others. It's hard. They may never get it. Don't feel afraid to go to them for support nevertheless. Friends are supposed to be there for you, though thick and thin, good AND bad times. Feel free to PM if you want to vent or talk. I'm on reddit everyday and throughout. You may not be able to go out with friends or bf but you can still keep in touch over the phone or online video chats. It's not the same but at least you can have a good convo.

What are your hobbies? Indulge yourself in them since you are unhappy. Do those things that bring a smile to your face.

I really hope things turn out better for you and soon. Don't give up. It can get better.

For buddhist mindfulness, Joseph Goldstein has a great (and quite long) series of talks based on Bhikkhu Analayo's commentary of the Satipatthana sutta. The talks are here for free, but they're also available in book form as Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening.

Analayo's book is also available for free as a pdf from the University of Hamburg, here: https://www.buddhismuskunde.uni-hamburg.de/pdf/5-personen/analayo/direct-path.pdf

And of course, if you're into primary sources, the Satipatthana sutta itself is available for free as well, in a variety of translations here.

​

Thanissaro also has a treatise on the 8-fold path here for free (along with an absolute treasure trove of other writings on meditation and buddhism). Be aware though that Thanissaro is not what some would call a pragmatic dharma teacher by any means. He teaches a very literal interpretation of buddhist cosmology, including rebirth. If that's a hindrance, take what is helpful and leave the rest.

​

Finally, what really helped me to get a handle on the whole concept of virtue was the Dharma Treasure curriculum. They get into virtue just a bit in the first couple sessions, then go through a discussion of the nature of awakening for a few sessions, then through the foundations of buddhist theory/philosophy for roughly another 15 sessions. Most of the rest of the curriculum is an in depth look at virtue, starting here. Really though, the whole thing is just great, and it addresses almost every question and doubt I had about the practice when I was starting out. I think you've been recommended this before, but hey - here's another recommendation haha

I'd highly, highly recommend the book Freedom from Pain by Peter A. Levine and Maggie Phillips (https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Pain-Discover-Overcome-Physical/dp/1604076631/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1491171177&sr=8-1&keywords=freedom+from+pain&linkCode=ll1&tag=outofthehum0e-20&linkId=638ac5de25ce326befd502620bc778ae). Not only does the book explain research and practices in an easy-to-understand way, the book comes with a CD of guided meditation. I can't tell you enough how much reading this book and following it's exercises has helped me.

In addition, I've found that there are several good YouTube channels such as TheHonestGuys (https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHonestGuys). They have a TON of guided meditation and some of them help with pain. I find I like to do a different one every time though - they have so many.

I've also found that Amazon Prime has beaches you can watch - literally beach waves go in and out, which can be very calming. There's also fireplace videos that can do that as well.

On some Blueray players (with Wifi), there is an app called FitYou - that has a whole Guided Meditation channel. The videos are free to watch (and great) but there are usually commercials in it every few minutes or so.

Spotify also has some great music as others have mentioned.

Additionally, I've found that energy meditation along with gentle (very gentle) tai/chi Qi Gong meditation helps a lot and also helps move and stretch the muscles.

One great thing to do, which I've been doing, is check things out at the library first (like a cd or dvd) - then you can see if it help and works for you - before you buy. :)

In general, I spend 20-minutes+ around lunch time every day to do some kind of mindfulness meditation, then I often to tai-chi or gentle exercise later in the evening.

Daoism and zen Buddhism helped me a lot.

Don't dismiss this as new age woo, it's whatever you make of it.

Zen creates a mind set that places you beyond yourself, and from there you can become your own puppet master.

Zen keys by Thich Nhat Hanh is really good.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0385475616/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521050527&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=Zen+keys

Besides that I think it's just really important to have the courage to be your own advocate. No one else but you will always be there for you as bleak as that sounds.

You have to begin seeing yourself as your own magnum opus. Your self is your ultimate creation that you continue to develop and refine and all other things extend from that.

Plato likened a person to a republic in the sense that you can be a master of the self or a slave of the self.

When you sprint at max speed your strength is dragging your weakness along. If you keep doing that you'll unify yourself more and more.

If you want the second slice of cake, you mind says no, but the body says yes.

It's that sort of a thing.

Have faith in yourself that you can be as great as you can imagine yourself to be, and any doubt you have is just the lesser man inside of you trying to snuff out the greater man.

All this talk of cope is really toxic because it is blatantly playing on your weaknesses.

I read a lot of philosophy books and random stuff that I thought could be useful. A really powerful book for me was les miserables.

That was referred to by Hugo as his religious masterpiece, only its a view of Christianity that was overriden by fundamentalism. It's Christianity as a philosophy or even better said, the science of subjectivity. There is nothing supernatural but it demonstrates how there is no need.

If you want me to break down the plot I can but I don't wanna ruin it, but it's basically a perspective on spirituality where you realize what's "true" doesn't really matter.

A person who believes something makes it real.

The subjective world is entirely our own creation.

Beyond that I'd say just read everything you're interested in and process it on two different levels.

There is the message of the author, and then a meta analysis where it's essentially just a thought exercise. You can actually learn way more than even the author intended that way and it puts you in a mindset where you are in control of how it shapes you.

Hmmm… I need to create a "Taoist Starter Kit" article…

As far as translations go… one I like is Red Pine's translation because it has commentary and the Chinese. The nice thing about the commentary is it lets you see all of the different ways each chapter can be interpreted. Political strategists see strategy and alchemists see instructions for spiritual immortality. :)

https://www.amazon.com/Lao-tzus-Taoteching-Lao-Tzu-ebook/dp/B00APD9VP2

If you want something chill and direct. I like these comics:

https://www.amazon.com/Tao-Speaks-Lao-Tzus-Whispers-Wisdom/dp/0385472595/

https://www.amazon.com/Zhuangzi-Speaks-Nature-Chih-chung-Tsai/dp/0691008825

If you wanna compare a bunch of translations…

https://ttc.tasuki.org/

I don't really think you can go "wrong" with any translation/interpretation if you're planning on reading more than one. If it was just the one, I'd go with Red Pine's.

As for meditation, I would look into Zen or Chan Buddhism close to where you are. You can also get started right away by just closing your eyes and breathing for a minute a day and build up to more as you do more research (via videos, books, seminars, teachers, etc.)

More important than any technique is developing the habit of doing it every day.

This app is awesome and it comes with a bunch of free guided meditations. I just use it for the timer. :)

https://insighttimer.com/

If you start getting serious I'd look for a teacher of some kind, but good teachers for Taoism seem kind of elusive. I think that's from the nature of the practice and it's history.

Google searches, reading reviews, talking to people, etc will take you where you want to go although in the beginning it's hard to tell the difference between "good" and "bad", but there's no way around that other than to start doing stuff and getting some experience under your belt. :) Also "bad" for you might be "good" for someone else. :P ;)

There are probably some good books for beginners as well, but I'm not familiar with those yet. I'm gonna start ordering and reading through them… (I haven't been a beginner for a long time… that said… I'm still a beginner… lol)

Oh! There's a cool Eva Wong book on Taoism that gives you a nice historical overview and breakdown of the different styles.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1590308824/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1590308824

Hopefully you'll get some other recommendations! :)

Welcome!! My advice would be to read something about Buddhism generally (covering Theravada, Mahayana and Vajrayana traditions as well as high-level Buddhist thought) and then read an introduction to meditation or use one of the more secular mindfulness apps to get your feet wet.

Intro to Buddhism: Buddhism for Beginners by Thubten Chodron
Thubten Chodron is a well-known Tibetan Buddhist nun, but this book does a great job of staying high-level and presenting Buddhism as a whole

Intro to Meditation: Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening by Joseph Goldstein
Joseph Goldstein is probably one of the world's most renowned meditation teachers, and this book is an excellent introduction that also covers Buddhist teachings more generally. Joseph's background is primarily based in the Theravada traditions.

For guided meditation apps, I have used Headspace and 10% Happier. Both are great and offer a free trial period with meditations for beginners.

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

I didn't lose the use of any body parts, but I did experience a bleed in my brain at 15 that totally altered my family's lives. It's been 11 years. Had to relearn depth perception, I had double vision for a year, and they didn't know if/when it would ever happen again. When a tragedy such as what you're going through occurs, it effects the whole family. My comment will be directed at all of you, as you will all need time to heal and relearn how to live. Not only your injured little girl.

The first thing I recommend is therapy. For all of you. My parents felt helplessness, guilt, anger, and a whole plethora of other difficult emotions. My little sister suddenly had a big, strong sister who wasn't there to lean on anymore. I almost died. We each had individual feelings and emotions to process on the road to healing. Family therapy wasn't a good option for us, but it can be for some. Ideally, a mix of individual therapy with a per needed basis of family therapy would have been the path I hoped for my family.

The only book I've read that has ever been any benefit relating to my health is How To Be Sick by Toni Bernhard. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but I recommend it to you and your wife as a possible guide in this terrible situation. In later life, I've also experienced daily chronic pain and fatigue associated to Fibromyalgia. Although it's marketed as Buddhist inspired, but it's not religious. She takes ideas from the Buddhist teachings and applies them as coping mechanisms and life skills for her chronic condition. This book has helped me with the feelings of denial, "why me?", and loss. I'm not the same person I was before these conditions, but I like who I am now, and I'm happy. My parents tell me I'm stronger, but I think they have to say that cuz they're parents. I haven't had another bleed, though apparently I'd had one prior to age 15.

Good luck, your family is in thoughts. This Internet stranger is hoping for the best for you all!

Peace and love.

Thanks for writing such a detailed reply, and I'm glad that sitting longer yielded productive results. :)

>The discursive mind isn't completely shut down though as thoughts and images do pop into consciousness but they are seen through if that makes sense?

For sure. IME, I relate to what you've said as thoughts feeling especially vaporous / whispery.

Regarding Mahamudra and Dzogchen: Essentials of Mahamudra is a fantastic and more traditional take on Mahamudra. That said, I cannot recommend Mahamudra for the Modern World) enough: it is a tremendous value for what's offered here, and the material provided will serve you indefinitely if taken on seriously. If the cost is prohibitive, consider reading The Awakening Body, which includes techniques from MftMW (you can check out free guided meditations here from the book.

Hope this material serves you well! Let me know if you have any questions regarding any of it, as I've focused exclusively on these practices for months.

Well, I don't know if these will help you with your 'intonation question', since honestly I'm not sure what that's about, but anywho...

1. Hsuan Hua gave a series of lectures on the Avatamsaka (many years ago, over a nine year period), which have been compiled into a book of annotations, for all 39 chapters, and which is amazingly available for free online here.
   
   
2. Thich Nhat Hanh recorded a series of dharma talks on the Avatamsaka (with some tie-ins to the Lotus Sutra), which were made into an audiobook called 'The Ultimate Dimension'. It's pretty expensive at Amazon, but I found it at my local library, and downloaded it right from the library site. I thought it was quite an informative and straightforward discourse -- focusing mainly on the interpenetration of all things -- as is usual for TNH.
   
   As I am sure you are discovering, the Avatamsaka is massive and deep. Good luck with your practice!

I too started on the Shamanic psychedelic path. Much to learn there that should not be disparaged. However, eventually we come to realize it's like a scrimmage of the true spiritual path. At some point we want to embark on the path for real.

Everybody's paths and choices are different. Not sure what you're drawn to, but for me the path Nyingma and Kagyu were exactly what I am most connected with (experiential over logical).

I would recommend soaking in Mingyur Rinpoche's teachings on youtube, they are very direct, don't waste time and jump right into the stream of meditation that is often considered "advanced" in the Tibetan system (Dzogchen/Mhahamudra, Shamatha etc).

He has several great books as well. I love them all, but if you're looking for one to start with try https://www.amazon.com/Turning-Confusion-into-Clarity-Foundation/dp/1611801214/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537496669&sr=1-3&keywords=mingyur+rinpoche

It's a treasure really.

I had an injury to my SI joint before becoming pregnant that has just become more painful as my joints continue to loosen. My therapist suggested I read the book Freedom from Pain. I've been having some good days lately so I haven't ordered the book yet but I'm definitely thinking about it.

https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Pain-Discover-Overcome-Physical/dp/1604076631

Edit: wanted to add I tried chiropractic care but the relief became increasingly temporary. The best luck I've had is with a physical therapist. She's taught me the best ways to brace myself and move to minimize the pain. Having someone watch me get up from laying down/sitting and analyze my movements helped a lot.

I would highly recommend Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche's book Turning Confusion Into Clarity - written by the very same man who runs the Tergar community mentioned elsewhere in this thread. Most of his books have a very secular slant, aiming to explicate the benefits of mindfulness practice to people who are skittish towards religion, but this one is explicitly a crash-course in the preliminary Vajrayana practices.

I was a little apprehensive at first that I was biting off more than I could chew with it, but he explains the practices very clearly and moves through each one very deliberately.

I've added a few techniques to my everyday practice - namely beginning each sitting session with a call for bodhicitta, and ending with a dedication of merit - which have self-evidently improved the quality of my meditation. What's more, a technique I first tried just the other night resulted in one of the most singular meditative experiences of my life. You will be able to read about that in more detail later tonight or tomorrow on this sub.

I don't know what your sitting practice looks like now. If you're fairly new to the practice, you may want to hold off on the later techniques in the book until you've stabilized into everyday practice. These techniques can take over an hour to do properly, and they are meant to be savored - its not the point to just think the thoughts and say the mantras so many times just to get through them.

In any case, I've found the teachings in that book incredibly beneficial to my practice, and can't recommend it highly enough for anyone yearning to dip their toes in Vajrayana, but lack access to a proper teacher.

EDIT - Because links are hard.

I think you mean well, and I appreciate its positive messages, but it's probably inaccurate to call it "yoga philosophy". It's a very Western take on self-improvement, and gets some key things wrong about karma and self (at least in terms of how they're taught in Indian yogic traditions). Check out this article.

As a general note: If you want to write about yoga philosophy, then it would make more sense to quote and discuss yogic texts like the Yoga Sutras, Bhagavad Gita, etc. In fact, a new book just came out that looks like a nice little anthology of key yoga texts. I would go through texts like that, see how they inform your current understandings, and then come back to share your insights.

All this is meant with good intentions toward you. Again, it's not that I necessarily disagree with anything you're saying...but once you try to label it "yoga philosophy" then you have to be careful.

In order of importance:

Book|Author|Forum|Notes

--|:--|:--|:--
The Mind Illuminated|John Yates|/r/TheMindIlluminated|Sometimes too technical, otherwise, perfect.
Mastering The Core Teachings of the Buddha|Daniel Ingram|Dharma Overground, /r/streamentry|Most times, too arrogant. Still valuable.
Opening the Hand of Thought|Kosho Uchiyama|r/Zen, Local Zendo|Zen leaves too much to the reader to figure out
A Path With Heart|Jack Kornfield|--|Doesn't give the how, but the Why for many people.

To give you an idea from a technical meditation standpoint, The Mind Illuminated cuts this into ten stages, like a cooking recipe, or a college degree.

This post, based, on Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, tells you exactly what stream entry looks like, it's unmistakable.

Here are instructions for first Jhana. Once you get some access concentration, where you can rest your mind on something for a bit with some stability, you can reach concentration states. Jhanas are amazing! (That stoned feeling is a light Jhana)

* Daniel's Map. Not everyone see's it exactly this way, but I found it to be fairly accurate. I mean, there's a map, it isn't just "close your eyes and be."

Thanks for the feedback!

***

I am a Zen Buddhist, with heavy influences from Theravada and Vipassana.

> I have a history of mental illness. I was also a highly emotional child and had a lot of the same issues we see with her. My family NEVER discussed feelings, nor did we ever hug or kiss and I grew up pretty messed up from that. Was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in my early 20's, did DBT, and have been symptom free for almost a decade.

Awesome that you put in all that effort and it paid off! It's not too early to start teaching her some of those DBT skills, in kid-friendly ways, to help her regulate her own emotions. (See my other reply for some ideas). There are also some great approaches to mindfulness for kids, you might check out Sitting Still Like a Frog, Mindful Games, or Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children. Should have mentioned this in my other reply as well, but there's a beautiful picture book called Visiting Feelings that takes a mindfulness approach to exploring emotions as well.

It's kind of difficult to answer that question with a simple answer as there are many forms of yoga.
I think the first thing to do is to get a good idea of what yoga is and isn't. The vast majority of today's forms of yoga were plain and simply born in the 19th and 20th century. That doesn't discard them as being real yogas as the word "yoga" was in fact used across centuries to characterize a vast variety of practices.
To better understand what yoga is and isn't I strongly recommend reading those two books which are based on thorough and recent research :
https://www.amazon.fr/Roots-Yoga-Sir-James-Mallinson/dp/0241253047

https://www.amazon.fr/Yoga-Body-Origins-Posture-Practice/dp/0195395344
Beware, you might end up having to completely change your understanding of yoga !

For Ashtanga, I agree, David Swenson's book is indeed excellent !
All the other forms of "physical yoga" are modern innovations which, without saying they have no use, could be effectively replaced with western physical therapy practices.

For pranayama this book is as precise and step by step as TMI :
https://www.amazon.fr/Pranayama-Breath-Yoga-Gregor-Maehle/dp/0977512622

If you're more interested into the energetic side of yoga you should find a ton of precise ressources and a great community at https://www.aypsite.org/
Some of the practices found in the site are very powerful and you should be pay attention as to how those influence your TMI practice.

This would be the best late, late, late birthday present of all time if you could help.
The Tree of Enchantment

Tao Te Ching

Sikhism

Grimoire of Crowley

Angel Tech

The Upanishads

And any of the Vedas pretty, pretty please? Much and thanks!!! ALSO Your link of Angels, Demons by Lon Milo DuQuette is broken, I think.

Given based off what you have provided, she might be interested in something like this singing bowl? they are great for meditation. Or maybe a Yoga Wheel to help her stretch. The Adult Coloring Books are always fun, especially paired with a bottle of wine.

Definitely not reveling in others' misfortune. More like becoming more empathetic to others' struggles and realizing that suffering is universal, and most importantly, realizing that it doesn't have to break you. I am not religious, but Buddhism has some really great things to say on this topic. Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh was really helpful to me, along with a few other Buddhist books. How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard has a lot of great tools and practical advice. I read it with someone else in mind but found it invaluable for myself.

The word Zen has entered the pop culture lexicon to mean something that has little to do with Buddhism. The public imagination has taken the word "zen" as license to mean whatever they want it to mean.

I am not an expert on Zen but authentic Mahayana practice of any school is about becoming a Bodhisattva. It is not about being content with being lazy.

​

May these resources of the Buddha's teachings be of benefit to you:

​

http://ftp.budaedu.org/ebooks/pdf/EN132.pdf

https://www.readingfaithfully.org/in-the-buddhas-words-an-anthology-of-discourses-from-the-pali-canon-linked-to-suttacentral-net/

​

If you want to learn about Zen practice exclusively, I would recommend this book. This author is a highly trustworthy teacher of Zen practice and of dhamma:

https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Keys-Guide-Practice/dp/0385475616

Are you me?

My wife just moved out recently and the anxiety of being alone was crippling. Words can't describe my emotions the first couple of days. What I've done to get rid of the anxiety nearly entirely within the first week was...

• Buy an adult coloring book and some good pens to go along with it.
  
  
• Yoga
  
  
• Exercise
  
  
• Hangout with friends or find people within groups you're interested in via Meetup.com!
  
  
• Counseling. Even going just once or twice will help a lot.
  
  
• Play music in the background a lot.
  
  
• Set the kitchen timer for 10-15 minutes and let yourself spiral a little bit. Wrestle, confront, and deal with those hard emotions. Once that timer goes off though...back to keeping yourself occupied.
  
  ___
  
  Feel free to P.M me if you'd like.

I used this one and this one. The first one was my favorite by far. I ended up failing HypnoBirthing because I didn't practise enough or commited to the excercises, but the book and audio files gave me peace when my mind was a turmoil. I really enjoyed those moments and happy vizualisation!

I'm just not rigourous enough for the training on my own part ;P

I've barely started reading it, but someone here suggested the book "How to be Sick" by Toni Bernhard.

I didn't have any long-term friends when I got sick, because I'd gotten sober just 3 years earlier and had to stop seeing pretty much all the friends I still had. Then I moved to a rural area 1300 miles away.

What helped most was (accidentally) finding a forum with people who had a similar interest. I made a post about a problem I had, and stuck around to read other posts because I found it interesting. Because I went regularly, I ended up becoming friends with several other regulars. We don't chat much, but they are available if I need them (which is both less than I want, and less than I used to need).

I absolutely loved Mindful Hypnobirthing by Sophie Fletcher. I read it a few times during my first pregnancy and it helped me come up with some mental tricks for controlling pain and opening myself up to the experience in a calm and controlled way.

If you buy the kindle version it has a link to some meditations and birth affirmations. The 30
minute relaxation meditation was invaluable to me in preparation and in early labor to help me enter into a meditative relaxed state that carried me through two days of labor. I can not recommend it more highly.

amazon link

For me, the best practice to deal with intrusive thoughts about things that went wrong in the past is to practice mindfulness. The easiest exercises for me are breathing exercises, like square breathing, or even more simply, breathing in for two heartbeats and out for four heartbeats. A more advanced technique I practice is imagining my thoughts as clouds and watching them pass by harmlessly without engaging them at all. I'm currently reading Mindful Games as an easy introduction to mindfulness because I still think of myself as a beginner.

> I know "The Way of the Bodhisattva" is a fundamental text of Mahayana Buddhism... should I start with that?

Absolutely!

> Any translations or commentaries you recommend?

I would suggest this one: by Vesna and Alan Wallace, Snow Lion Publications, 1997

> What are some good books for learning more about the path of the Bodhisattva?

The Path To Awakening

> In The Path to Awakening, Shamar Rinpoche gives his own detailed commentary on Chekawa Yeshe Dorje's Seven Points of Mind Training, a text that has been used for transformative practice in Tibetan Buddhism for close to a thousand years. Clear, accessible, and yet profound, this book is filled with practical wisdom, philosophy, and meditation instructions.

That sounds awesome man. Good to have goals. Congrats on retiring!
If you are into philosophy check out:

Epicurus:
http://www.epicurus.net/en/principal.html

Buddhist meditation:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B003XF1LKW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510271937&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+in+plain+english

The Tao Te Ching;
https://www.amazon.com/Lao-tzus-Taoteching-Lao-Tzu-ebook/dp/B00APD9VP2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1510271966&sr=1-1&keywords=tao+te+ching+red+pine

This may be controversial, but I definitely wouldn’t recommend these two books because it will confuse the fuck out of you. All of the stuff inside is surely profound and deep but I think you won’t be able to understand what buddhism is about. I know this is /r/zen, but I would recommend you to start with something more general like A Path with Heart. It’s down-to-earth stuff about meditation and eventual awakening and that’s what buddhism is.

I think the first book I’ve started with was actually Zen Flesh, Zen Bones and only after about 2 years of self-study and practice it starts to feel that I’m doing some progress. Make your choice, but don’t sweat it. In the end, there’s no rush.

Recently I've found Sadhguru to be immensely helpful to my practice. His wisdom is simple, clear and straightforward and cuts through a lot of the dogmatic crap many teachers pile on top. I also appreciate that, above all, he encourages not simply taking anyone's word, even his, but rather to test out ideas experientially.

He wrote an excellent book called Inner Engineering and he has countless videos on Youtube.

> How do the tathāgatagarbha ideas fit into the Madhyamaka

You'll find a lot of background on this from one of the most popular Buddhist teachers around - Thich Nhat Hanh. In particular refer to his book Zen Keys, and his seminal book The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. He also goes into quite some depth about Yogacara in his book Understanding the Mind.

https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Engineering-Yogis-Guide-Joy/dp/0812997794/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1503252745&sr=8-1&keywords=inner+engineering

the author is this book is an enlightened being and a spiritual guru who have shown the path for many people. there are no miracles or promises or teachings or philosophy. you might want to listen to him in youtube. all the best

Not necessarily. There are quite a few translations that offer explanations to each section of the Upanishads that explain the meanings. Not to mention, with a basic understadning of Hinduism, you can unravel the meanings by yourself with a bit of deep thought and contemplation.
Anyways, I recommend this translation. I got it for an American friend who was interested in Hinduism and wanted to learn more. It gives basic explanations, while still allowing you to think on things for yourself:
https://www.amazon.com/Upanishads-Easwarans-Classics-Indian-Spirituality-ebook/dp/B004DI7R4W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498187230&sr=8-1&keywords=upanishads

If you want a good primer on Zen D.T. Suzuki is a great place to start.

Here is the Sea Life Sensory Solutions poster that has the calm down techniques.

And this article was really eye opening for me on ages and dis/equilibrium. Made my from March on struggles make so much more sense!.

Edit: This book has also been great! Mindful Games: Sharing Mindfulness and Meditation with Children, Teens, and Families

http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Buddhism-Daisetz-T-Suzuki/dp/038548349X

edit: this was the best book for me. there are many different 'paths' to enlightenment, so figure out which one works for you. if you're interested in the different 'paths' just google it, should come up.

• 30 years old
  
• ~2 hours per day
  
• On and off for ~10 years. Consistently for the past 2-3 years.
  
• Yes, pretty significant anxiety and depression into my mid-twenties. It was a significant motivation.
  
• I don't know anymore. Currently a dark night yogi just trying to get through.
  
• A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield

Thank uuuuu 😀 here's the one I have! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0996275460/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_6ufnzbEWN9VHX

I use a big pack of sharpies to color :3

>Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha - takes you to the 2nd edition online site....

No it doesn't, this link takes you to http://integrateddaniel.info/book/. The user then has to find another link there to the actual 2nd edition online site: https://www.mctb.org/. Why not link directly to the free online book website?

> I see this takes you to about a paperback of the 1st edition. As far as I know there is no print edition of the 2nd edition.

It says that there's a print version right there at the website you are linking to:

>MCTB2, which was published in July, 2018, available in print from from standard booksellers and from my kind publisher, Aeon books,

Here: https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Core-Teachings-Buddha-Unusually/dp/1911597108/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1537530584&sr=8-1

Hope it's clearer now!

I got diagnosed with chronic fatigue prior to getting the bipolar dx and so can relate to your account. Even now I am unsure if the bone crushing depression hasn't a physical cause.

The following book was useful



How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard


Link: https://amzn.com/0861716264

In retrospect, I wish I had sought government assistance sooner. I assumed I would soon be working and then felt to exhausted to advocate for myself.

I wish you all the best and hope that you are surrounded by loving people.

This is some of the most fun I've had while high.

Even better, the book is now available for pre-order:

Amazon - MCTB2

Zen Keys by Thich Nhat Hanh is the easiest to understand introductory to Zen philosophy and practice.

Shantideva.

A Guide to a Bodhisattva's Way of Life.

<br />
May I be a guard for all those who are protector-less,<br />
<br />
A guide for those who journey on the road,<br />
<br />
For those who wish to go across the water,<br />
<br />
May I be a boat, a raft, a bridge.<br />
<br />
For all those ailing in the world,<br />
<br />
Until their every sickness has been healed,<br />
<br />
May I myself become for them<br />
<br />
The doctor, nurse, the medicine itself.<br />
<br />
 ~ Shantideva 

Yes, Inner Engineering

I have had a chronic disabling illness for over 7 years now. You have to ask yourself how is not accepting it working for you? Rather badly no doubt. How is not accepting it making it better? It's not is it? What would change if you did accept it? You would have a lot less angst and a little more energy. Sometimes you have to realize that there are things that you can't change and it's time to let go and just be. Do what you can and let the rest go.

A lot of people like this book. I didn't like it that much but perhaps it will help you.

Looks like extracts from Beginners mind and http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Buddhism-Daisetz-T-Suzuki/dp/038548349X/ref=pd_sim_b_9

Amazon India has got it lot cheaper.

http://www.amazon.in/The-Upanishads-Eknath-Easwaran/dp/8184950918/

http://www.amazon.in/The-Upanishads-Classic-Indian-Spirituality-ebook/dp/B004DI7R4W/

There is a book, "How to be Sick" by Toni Bernhard that was helpful, comforting and a little validating: https://www.amazon.com/How-Sick-Buddhist-Inspired-Chronically-Caregivers/dp/0861716264/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VG4Y5N47MX9QJZ7AYHM3

She has another called "How to Live Well".

The first helped me while I was in a dark place about being ill.

Stephen Mitchell's version was the first I ever read, and resonated with me from the very beginning. However, I've since learned that he paraphrased greatly and inserted lines and interpretations that aren't found or supported by the original texts. He also did not actually translate anything, but curated his version from other English translations.

I've recently been reading through Red Pine's translation, which is based on some of the oldest copies of the Tao Te Ching that have been discovered. He also includes selected commentary from various sources from across the past 2,000 years.

You can find this copy here, or search for a used copy elsewhere.

https://www.amazon.com/Lao-tzus-Taoteching-Lao-Tzu-ebook/dp/B00APD9VP2

This may help :

http://www.amazon.com/How-Sick-Buddhist-Inspired-Chronically-Caregivers/dp/0861716264

Also, how do you do with mega high potency probiotics like VSL#3 ? I know probiotics are better for the colon than the small intestine, but I've read of a couple of people that megadoses of probiotics helped their SIBO enormously - the trick is to avoid those with FOs in them....

You can start with most any of his intro books:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/038548349X/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1521410314&sr=1-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=D.+T.+Suzuki&dpPl=1&dpID=51Sq0VaL6cL&ref=plSrch

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0861716264?pc_redir=1409138329&robot_redir=1

that book might be right up your alley

Tao Te Ching translated by Red Pine

I don't think there is one, though it would be an appropriate work to eventually receive such a treatment.

There are only really three (published) English versions to speak of: by the Padmakara Translation Group,
Vesna Wallace, and Crosby and Skilton. I can't vouch for any of them.

All you need to know: Path with Heart

I'm the author of "How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers." This is my first blog post for Psychology Today. I hope you enjoy it. Here is a link for my book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Sick-Chronically-Caregivers/dp/0861716264

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Bodhisattva-Way-Life/dp/1559390611/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1559390611&pd_rd_r=EEEMWGYAQ6ZWHYSDGF34&pd_rd_w=yGlp9&pd_rd_wg=MOkmR&psc=1&refRID=EEEMWGYAQ6ZWHYSDGF34#customerReviews

For source material, here's the reputed words of Lao-Tzu which are the fundamental basis of Taoism-Tao Te Ching. And then this book is a good text on American Buddhism in general which includes a lot about Zen (the largest Buddhist movement in the US)- Buddhism in America. To understand Zen, you must understand Buddhism in general, so here's a good introduction-Basic Buddhism. And last but not least, here's a great work on Zen Buddhism specifically-Zen Buddhism.

/u/Mynthe, make the snow go away.
Please. I've been stuck at home for the past 2 days and I'm slowly going out of my mind. You need an adult coloring book! Seriously. It's the only thing that's kept me sane.

I have been so miserable and stressed for the last few weeks, between work and studying for the bar, along with relationship and financial stress, I have felt like I am at the end of my rope for longer than I can bear. I'm still trucking along, but it's not been good: In the last 4 weeks, I have had to bail someone out of jail (big financial hit until court date, and then bail processing...), I had to find a new apartment with no notice, moving expenses and related fees, relationship problems (that are getting better), my dog needed emergency surgery, and about $2500 in other emergency expenses... on top of bar studying which is already immensely stressful and a job that is unbearably toxic. "At the end of my rope" doesn't really begin to cover it.

I really want to try coloring as an outlet for stress. I'm looking into getting something like this. Several studies have shown that coloring intricate designs is as good for you as meditation and unlocks a lot of creativity, which has been lacking in my life.

If anyone has tried coloring as an outlet, let me know what you thought about it. :)

Well, I think Zen Koans are different than Buddha stories. Here are a few Koans - then are usually short stories and illustrations that force you to consider truth and meaning and reality and face your doubt.

A Buddha story is usually a longer account of an event that illustrates a deeper meaning, like this:

>The Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples when a man came and spit on his face. He wiped it off, and he asked the man, “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was a little puzzled because he himself never expected that when you spit on somebody’s face, he will ask, “What next?” He had no such experience in his past. He had insulted people and they had become angry and they had reacted. Or if they were cowards and weaklings, they had smiled, trying to bribe the man. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. But just matter-of-factly he said, “What next?” There was no reaction on his part.

>Buddha’s disciples became angry, they reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this.”

>Buddha said, “You keep silent. He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter. And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me, he has spit on his notion. He has spit on his idea of me because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?

>“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something else to say because this is a way of saying something. Spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, “What next?”

>The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and you have lived for years with me, and still you react.”

>Puzzled, confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. When you see a Buddha, it is difficult, impossible to sleep again the way you used to sleep before. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind and his whole pattern, his whole past.

>The next morning he was back there. He threw himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked him again, “What next? This, too, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language. When you come and touch my feet, you are saying something that cannot be said ordinarily, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is again here, he is saying something. This man is a man of deep emotions.”

>The man looked at Buddha and said, “Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”

>Buddha said, “Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing, it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here. I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.”

>“And you also are new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry and he spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet, touching my feet. How can you be the same man? You are not the same man, so let us forget about it. Those two people, the man who spit and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”

I don't really have a source for these stories, I just try to collect them when I see them. I usually just get books on Buddhism and read them, and buy the ones I like. You can usually order most any book from your local library for free. Each person has different needs and grows in a different way, so what is meaningful to me may be different from what is meaningful to you.

I gravitate mostly to Zen, and the idea of Direct Pointing. So I like to read books like D.T. Suzuki's Zen Buddhism. I am also currently reading The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon for a more complete understanding of the Buddha and his teachings - and so far, it is fantastic. A more basic book on the Buddha, and a good place to start in my opinion, is Buddha by Karen Armstrong. However, it is somewhat her interpretation of the Pali Canon's account... and many Buddhists would rather go directly to the source... but I think it's a good beginning.

I also bought this version of the Tao Te Ching. I think it's fantastic, even though it's technically Tao instead of Buddhism... but I find it practically indistinguishable from Koans in its value and wisdom. And the text can be found online for free, but there are many translations.

As mentioned before, I would always first recommend The Way Of Zen as it had the most profound effect on my life and mind of all the books I've read.

Also, make sure to engage in meditation. The direct realization of non-duality is of utmost importance. Book learning and words are the shadows of meaning - direct realization is entering in the gates.

Section 4 of the Urantia Book.

I was a young adult, and very disillusioned with the kind of Christianity I was brought up with. I was an athiest, but I wasn't comfortable with my newfound atheism. I very angry that I thought I had been lied too for all those years. I thought that my Atheism was truth, and Christians were just a bunch of cowards that lied to themselves to provide a little comfort. This bloomed into a very obnoxious "You're at best an idiot, at worst a liar." type of attitude toward anyone that professed any type of belief in something. In short, I had become an elitist dick.

But also during this time, I found myself exploring the world's religions, including plenty of new age crap. I was reading stuff like The Tao of Pooh, A Path With Heart and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I experimented with meditation, played with I Ching and Tarot Cards. Losing my belief in God had left a festering dark spot in me that I subconsciously sought to fill.

I read the Urantia Book off an on over many years, mostly as entertainment, but eventually I gradually realized that I wasn't athiest anymore. I really believed in the Jesus portrayed in Section 4 of the UB. I found myself saying yes, yes this is what my God is like.

I feel for you. Suffering is no fun. What helps me:

All pain is not suffering. Pain and suffering are two different phenomena. The dialogue on the two arrows, SN 36.6, addresses this issue, and it is worth bearing this in mind. This is not to belittle your predicament, or to claim that I understand the nature of your pain, but to put pain and suffering into a beneficial perspective. A perspective that allows us to begin to work with the situation.

In a general Buddhist perspective, as you know, we are all in some kind of state of perpetuated suffering with differing degrees of temporary relief or intensity. All life is suffering, pleasure and pain experiences are equally marked by this essential truth. That being the case, we are encouraged to learn to become unattached to our deep aversion to perceived pain, and attachment to perceived pleasure. There are ways to do this in a healthy, liberating way regardless of our situation.

Bringing home the doctrine via reflection or reading alone is not going to accomplish this for you, for instance: intellectually understanding that lifting weights will make you stronger will not make you stronger, it can, however inform your practice of exercise. Meditation, Vipassana, this is what helps me deal with what I perceive as extreme pain and discomfort. It helps me to learn to hold the pain without aversion, to see through it, to gradually learn to experience it as mere sensation, and then to move beyond it entirely. I highly recommend this if you have not begun. Please do not misunderstand me, doctrinal understanding is powerful and important, but for extreme pain and suffering, nothing beats the added benefit of properly executed Vipassana. If your pain keeps you from attending a retreat, consider contacting the Vipassana Meditation people, and requesting that they help you learn their technique. They are very awesome, in my own experience, and may be willing to work with you. Just a suggestion, intended to be a happy one.

When facing the dark decision of stepping out of this life to escape the pain, I have heard that this particular consideration is beneficial:

• the predicament of suffering that you face holds no intrinsic reality of its own, it is the empty, ungraspable expression of some sort of ultimately unknowable cause.
  
• It has as its creator, blind, habitual reactivity
  
• It has as its support, blind, habitual reactivity
  
• it has as its perpetuation, blind, habitual reactivity.
  
• To eliminate the suffering born of, supported by, and perpetuated by blind, habitual reactivity, non-attached awareness in a state of equanimity must be, and can be produced. There IS a way to do this.
  
  There are deep perspectives that also suggest that if you allow the pain to move you to exit stage left, that you are creating a future seed of suffering that will be inherited by the midstream that you identify with as being you, by committing an act of volitional intention in reaction to an aversion to sensation. In other words, there will be future karma produced that will perpetuate existence in samsara. No action is inherently right or wrong, but that is not to say that there are not inheritable consequences relative to our ultimate liberation and suffering with every intentional action. There is no exception to this mechanic.
  
  To work with this, we can "offer up" our pain, and learn to reduce suffering by developing equanimity and wisdom. Reflect in the ultimate non-permanence of the pain, and do Tonglen with your own suffering, give compassion and metta to yourself. Reflect on all others going through this and develop an intention to experience the pain and the suffernig directly, to know it as it is so that you can understand it, its cause, and its cessation, and use that as a seed of compassion for others going through this experience as well, "May I experience this so that no other beings have to experience the misery of this suffering." Use it as a seed of liberation. This is a very beneficial practice.
  
  You can also understand that if this suffering is the result of a perpetuated aggregation of ultimately empty causes which are defined by blind, habitual reactivity, then what you have is an opportunity to transcend this beginning-less cycle in the here and now by developing direct insight and transcendental wisdom coupled with genuine compassion, leading to perfect liberation. Utilize this moment of difficulty as a tool leading to ultimate liberation, reclaim this purpose of your life, and move this away from the weight of it as a reason to give up and run away. There can be purpose to your suffering, even if it is purposeless in and of itself, you can make that distinction.
  
  You can do this work, it will require practice, and will not happen overnight, which is why it is called practice. You will fill a bucket drop by drop by consistent practice. This is the sure and steady way to liberation. Always remember, the way out is though, not around, not avoiding, but through.
  
  Pema Chodron is an excellent teacher, I recommend her audio-book lessons on overcoming habitual re-activity, particularly, "Getting Unstuck" and her recent teachings, "The Truth of Our Existence."
  
  Additionally, you may want to look into Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs, as they are based on Buddhist meditation techniques and have been clinically proven as effective tools working with "Stress" and increasing resilience. You can check out his Mindfulness for Pain program. If you are involved in a clinical rehabilitation program, consider asking them about MBSR, they may offer it, and if not, try to connect to a social worker through your clinical provider, hospital, or rehab center, depending on your situation, who may be able to help you out with a connection.
  
  Finally, just reading books on fundamental Buddhist principles like, "In the Buddha's Words" always help to increase my foundation of perspective in difficult and overwhelming times, or Shantideva's Guide To The Bodhisattva Way of Life (depending on your tradition preference).
  
  Any of the materials I listed can be found if you know how to look for them. I hope this has been, in some way, helpful, and not to long!
  
  Metta

> How does one not form attachment when one is physically dependent on another person for their basic needs? For example, if one is physically disabled and their spouse has to provide for their care, how does the disabled person's dependence not cause fear of loss, fear of abandonment, etc?

I'm a caregiver to my wife who has physical disabilities. Coming from that perspective, I agree with Zeniues' advice to watch all of those thoughts you brought up. In my limited experience with this technique, almost all emotions lose their power when you acknowledge and watch them.

Fear and worry in general are a result of your mind residing in the future. Staying in the present moment is essential. As is recognizing and accepting your limitations and the results of those limitations. Accept that you need help/care. I don't think the dependency is bad, so long as the fear is removed from that dependency, if that makes sense. I am dependent on my job in order to pay our rent, and that by itself is fine, in my opinion. It's when I jump in to the future and worry about losing my job that the dependency becomes harmful.

I bought this book a while back but have yet to read it. However, I think it may have some good insights for you, "How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers": http://smile.amazon.com/dp/0861716264/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_9lPtub0EGNN9R.

This might be of some insight:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Sick-Buddhist-Inspired-Chronically-Caregivers/dp/0861716264/166-0357771-4655327?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

As someone who has been down the rabbit hole and has no idea how the hell I came out on the other side, just know that some of us identify with your pain and you aren't alone in your struggle. You're like a chronic pain patient, but the brain's version. Then again, suffering in the conscious center of our bodies is hard to transcend even by thinking of it that way (see: mindfulness), but it provided me some solace once I grasped it. I hope you will continue to hang on and fight and keep reaching out. I've heard of treatment-resistant depression having some root in gut bacteria even (they have a role in manufacturing neurotransmitters), so please don't give up--antidepressants only do a few dynamic things with the brain's chemistry and the drugs you mentioned flood the brain's receptors and sometimes make things worse in the rebound period. I basically have a stress disorder so I don't drink alcohol anymore because the rebound after even drinking a little boosts my stress levels needlessly. I don't personally have ADHD or anhedonia so I can't understand your exact experience but as someone who has ridden a rough road for over a decade until just recently, I hope that you reach a turning point soon that gives you some hope.