It's difficult to get into the theological arguments for an affirming position over Reddit, but I've got a few resources that might help you learn more about the debate and implications of an affirming position. As a gay Christian, I can say they were also helpful to accepting and affirming myself and providing answers for some of the questions I was asking.
The book that gets recommended the most is [God and the Gay Christian.] (https://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships/dp/160142518X) It's really good at laying out the basic theological arguments for affirming lgbt Christians and explores the type a-type b argument (the debate on whether lgbt Christians can marry or need to remain celibate).
If you're looking for an in depth theological discussing that discusses all of the reasons for and against affirming lgbt Christians, [Bible, Gender, and Sexuality] (https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Gender-Sexuality-Reframing-Relationships/dp/0802868630) is an incredible resource for looking at all of the arguments for and against affirming lgbt Christians, as well as the shortfalls of each position. It ultimately comes to an affirming conclusion, but it does the non-affirming side justice. A lot of the arguments in God and the Gay Christian can be traced to this book, but this is more in depth. The author, James Brownson, is a professor at Western Theological Seminary, and does his best to give everyone (even those who don't agree with him) something to think about.
For some perspective of what life as a gay Christian is like, I'd recommend checking out Blue Babies Pink. You can either read Brett Trapp's stories online or listen to his podcast, but he does a good job explaining what it was like to grow up and live as a gay Christian, and the struggles he faced coming out, accepting himself, and trying to live in accordance with his faith. It doesn't explore theology, but also is safe for work. It gives a good perspective to what many gay Christians go through.
If you're interested in ministering to the lgbt community, I'd recommend meeting and listening to people of faith who belong to the lgbt community (if you haven't done this already). Listen to their stories and the pain many of them go through. Listen to what their specific needs are. Many of them will be the same needs everyone else needs like community, support, and places to use their gifts. Listen to how their needs for these differ than what is being provided to them or they are allowed to participate in.
Ultimately your job as an ally (if you choose to be one) is to not use your own voice, but to amplify the voices of members of the lgbt community. Don't try to speak on behalf of us, but use your position to give us voices. Put members of the community on the podium instead of yourself whenever possible, because we're the most qualified to speak on our needs and our pain. Of course that doesn't mean you can't discuss lgbt issues with others without a member of the lgbt community present. There are many forums you can go to that we cannot. Just make sure when you do you do your best to articulate the experiences that we've had.
Most importantly make sure that any discussion of the lgbt community you have is discussing the fact that regardless of position, the discussion is about people. It's regarding the life lgbt Christians and non-believers experience every day. Nothing dehumanize us and turns us away from the church more than being treated as just an issue.
I hope this gives you some good places to start. As a gay Christian, I've got grace for people like you who are asking legitimate questions and are wrestling with what the bible says vs. what the Bible means and what God says. Even if you end up with a non-affirming position, I believe it doesn't have to be inherently hurtful to the community. As long as you recognize the pain the lgbt community as a whole has experienced, how most churches aren't equipped to satisfy our spiritual needs, and recognize what you're truely asking of gay Christians when you say they need to remain celibate, you can still help the church better minister to lgbt Christians. I wish you the best on your spiritual journey

1. God loves you unconditionally and gives more grace than we could ever deserve.
   
2. You aren't alone. I felt this exact way when I found out I was attracted to guys when I first started college.
   
3. Don't give into pressure to choose one side or the other right away or even soon. This is a process of learning and growth and it probably sucks right now, but lean into the tension. Coming out / being 100% confident of your sexuality really soon is something that is, in my opinion, overhyped. Take your time.
   
4. I don't know how much research you have done yet, but I would recuse yourself from your currently held position and take a stance of neutrality. It's important as a Christian to figure out why you believe what you believe. This can be hard to do, but see what the Side A (Affirming) crowd's arguments and experiences are. Take notes. Understand why they genuinely believe that they are not acting against God. See how and why they counter their opponents' arguments. Once you have fully done that (and by fully I mean take your time and do it for a few months), then look up the non-affirming (Side B, Y, and X) positions and do the same. Even if this doesn't help you come to a conclusion right away, this still is a healthy practice of understanding the why behind the what.
   
5. This process of testing the foundations of your beliefs is/should probably extend to issues beyond LGBT inclusion in the church. One main pillar behind any LGBT/church argument is a stance on if Scripture is inerrant or not / what does it mean for something to be "inspired by God" / Should we hold to the same values as people 2,000 years ago (we've already expanded / moved on some from that)?
   
6. Remember to take breaks from this. Be diligent, but don't let this pursuit of the truth consume you.
   
7. Find non-judgmental friends who won't try to preach at you and can support you in your time of discernment and beyond.
   
   If you would like to PM me and ask more questions, I'm always happy to help people who were where I was 4 years ago.
   
   ​
   
   Here are a few good Affirming (A) resources to start out with:
   
   Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-VS-Christians Debate by Justin Lee (A)
   
   God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines (A)
   
   Modern Kinship by David and Constantino Khalaf (A)
   
   Blue Babies Pink by Brett Trapp / B.T. Harmann (A)
   
   Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church's Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James Brownson (A)
   
   Sex and the Single Savior: Gender and Sexuality in Biblical Interpretation by Dale Martin (A)
   
   Risking Grace, Loving Our Gay Family and Friends Like Jesus by Dave Jackson (A)
   
   ​
   
   I'm compiling a list of other good resources / bad ones (from all perspectives, not just ones I disagree with), so let me know if you're looking for something more specific.

I'm technically a Methodist who is also exploring Anglicanism, so the actual Anglicans here can correct me where I miss the mark, but I'll give it a shot.

1. SSM is an issue that can't really be summed up quickly. In short, it boils down to interpreting Scripture and the Church Fathers in light of their culture vs. ours, other Scripture and writings, and Scripture/Christianity's vision of God's Kingdom. I am currently trying to make up my mind on this issue, and I highly recommend Bible, Geder, Sexuality. It's geared heavily toward traditional thought on the issue and breaking it way down from a scholarly standpoint.
   As far as contraception goes, long story short is that Protestants see throughout Scripture a vision of sex that is about much more than procreation - rather, its purpose in addition to procreation is to unite a couple in intimacy and love. My personal answer would be that sex is a foretaste of the ultimate love between Christ and the Church - limiting it to procreation reduces its value and turns it into a "species propagation" thing as opposed to a "unitive, intimate, sacrificial love" thing.
   
   
2. Long story short, Paul's (and other writers) prohibitions against women teaching/speaking/etc. are not a general statement of some divine order, but rooted in particular issues of the day. The book I recommended speaks on this very well in one of the chapters. Essentially, in Paul's day, many women in the Corinthian church were trying to teach/speak over the men to selfishly try and claim superiority (the Greek here indicates this theme, and the book expands on this heavily). Additionally, just like Paul writes under the assumption that slavery exists and how to deal with that, NT writings on women assume gender hierarchy that, when upset, could cause some social problems between people that weren't worth it to risk the Gospel message.
   
   
3. There really isn't a defined doctrine. What I learned from an Episcopal priest is that it's generally "Christ is present in the celebration of the Eucharist, but it's pointless to worry about how and risk division."
   
   
4. The first suggestion I would make is to read the Psalms and reflect on them. Not only are they beautiful poems, they are, at their core, prayers and praises. Personally, I also found it very helpful to think about the things I most often pray for (wisdom, discernment, to be gentler/kinder, etc.) and I searched Scripture and Christian history (including the Book of Common Prayer and prayers from the Methodist church) for Psalms / prayers that reflected those thoughts. I wrote those down in a notebook and started praying those prayers regularly. The difficult thing is that prayer life is a very personal thing. Christ tells us in Matthew 6:6 to go "into your inner room and pray." I took this very literally and made a small "prayer corner" in a little nook in my closet that has candles, a cross, other things that remind me of Jesus. Above all, it often just relies on you making a habit of it. When you build prayer into your schedule, it's easier to keep praying.
   
   
5. No. Basically anyone who isn't Evangelical trusts Scripture and tradition when they say "one baptism for the forgiveness of sins." If you were baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, you're good. Also, depending on the person/parish, Patron Saints aren't really a thing. The more ultra-trad "Anglo-Catholics" are usually friendly to Saints/Mary in a similar way to Catholics, but the typical Episcopal/Anglican parish won't really pay any mind to Saint prayer, patronage, or veneration. The 39 Articles originally called it all "a vain thing," but in practice, it's one of those "non-essentials" that the Anglican church just doesn't really make a definite statement about as good or bad.
   
   
6. A universal church. Unlike Catholics/Orthodox, Anglicans don't say that Anglicanism is the "one true Church" and that any tradition outside it is flawed. My understanding is that Anglicans follow St. Vincent of Lerins when he says the true faith lies in what has been believed "always, everywhere, by everyone." Anglicans generally draw this line at the traditional Creeds (Apostles, Nicene, and I believe Athanasian) / the first few Councils. Anything beyond that is non-essential and up for discussion/interpretation.
   
   
7. This discussion is always loaded with touchy semantics. I take it what you're asking is if Anglicans treat the Bible like, say, a Southern Baptist would (totally literal "God's word," creation was literally 6 days, etc.), and the answer is no. Anglicans, like other mainline denominations, are totally kosher with historical criticism and things like evolution. Scripture is not a science or history textbook.

I highly recommend the book Bible, Gender, and Sexuality by James Brownson (link: https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Gender-Sexuality-Reframing-Relationships/dp/0802868630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1517791982&sr=8-1&keywords=bible+gender+and+sexuality). It helped me come to terms with both my faith and my sexuality (I'm 23 and gay). There are components of the Bible which, while divinely inspired, are nonetheless >2,000 years old. I don't hesitate to suggest that the Bible is not the healthiest source of understanding relationships that pertain to 2018.

You're gay, and God made each of us wonderfully and fearfully created. Congratulations on admitting it to yourself and being out about it here. I can't help but believe that God would want you to be in a loving, caring, relationship filled with joy and thanksgiving.

Edit: I also don't think the authors of the Bible had the clearest understanding of Biology. Human sexuality is not something chosen, but simply a component of an individual's identity. And while its very easy to say "the Bible prohibits homosexual relationships", it, to me, fails to resonate with the deep human need that most of us have - to be with in a loving relationship with another. I tend to think that, as we uncover more and more of the nature of reality and of Creation, God's Creation, we must revisit scripture in light of the nature of Creation as it is (IE Genesis is not, cannot, be literal, the Earth is not 6,000 years old). Along the same line, sexuality is not a choice, we are born more or less some kind of something (may be gay, maybe straight, maybe asexual, or anything in between). And as that's the reality of the world, perhaps the prohibitions of homosexuality need to be revisited, and reunderstood, not as literal prohibitions but rather as components of a complicated text that is heavily influenced by the culture(s) it was written in.

I've been married for a few months and this is been a thought that's been on my mind for a bit.

My greatest struggle has been trying to be more chaste with my wife even in marriage. The last number of years before we got back together and began to consider marriage I lived pretty care-free in terms of relationships. I sought pleasure and stepped over the feelings and emotions of many women to get to it; in retrospect it was a brutally selfish time in my life and lust was leading the way.

Entering the marriage I had ideas of what sex was going to be, that I could just carry on like I had before without any nod chastity. We read some books together and talked a lot and determined what we wanted our sex life and marriage to look like. We asked ourselves what does it mean to be chaste, even in a marriage? Ultimately we determined that we wanted to live in our marriage oriented towards a higher purpose--for us, conceiving a child, God &c--and not pleasure and self-interest. It's been a hard transition to give up pleasure-seeking, even with my wife and turn our souls and intimacy in another direction, but it is just as enjoyable.

I would say that even in this, when we share a common will and struggle towards it, the descriptors you quote, "mingling of souls, absolute intimacy, holy act," are apt, but it doesn't mean that every time you have sex you are reaching some contemplative nirvana. Of course there are times when it doesn't feel transcendent, where I feel empty, or when I feel selfish. The good thing is that I think being committed to somebody in marriage is what tempers and forges the better relationship: that is, the union moulds the relationship; talking about it, praying about it and thinking about it will over time help to develop a more healthy relationship.

I might recommend this book:
http://www.amazon.com/One-Flesh-Salvation-Marriage-Orthodox/dp/1936270668
One Flesh, Salvation Through Marriage by Fr. Lawrence R. Farley.

It's from an Orthodox perspective, but don't let that dissuade you. It's a wonderful book and has helped me a great deal.

Some resources for you:

• In terms of a succinct summary of a Reformed viewpoint, I know of no better resource than the Great Lakes Catechism on Marriage and Sexuality which was created by one of the Regional Synods of the Reformed Church in America and was commended to all RCA churches and classes as a means of understanding of the biblical teaching on human sexuality
  
• I think [Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality] by Wesley Hill is an absolute must-read. Wes and I were friends in college and while he's not exactly a big-R Reformed person (he's an Episcopal priest that teaches at an Anglican seminary), I think he would reasonably be described as reformed "in a broader understanding of the term." He's described himself as coming from a reformed perspective, he was one of the first people to attend John Piper's seminary and speaks at RTS on a somewhat regular basis.
  
• Wes was also one of the keynote speakers at the Revoice conference last summer, that was held at Memorial PCA in St. Louis last summer. The mission of Revoice is "To support and encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual, and other same-sex attracted Christians—as well as those who love them—so that all in the Church might be empowered to live in gospel unity while observing the historic Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality." It's not a Reformed specific conference - many of the speakers are Roman Catholic - but there are a lot of good resources, and some have a very distinctive Reformed flavor. Many of the talks from last years conference are available on their youtube channel.
  
• Jeffrey Weima is a Professor of New Testament at Calvin Theological Seminary and has given a number of talks on what the Bible teaches about same-sex activity. One of them was recorded and posted to youtube: [Part One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFA_r7qU_4A&t=2065s} and Part Two. If you prefer to read, he wrote a brief, but a still good overview of the issues for the Calvin Theological Seminary Magazine: "Same-Sex Activity: What Does the New Testament Say?"
  The Forum 22.3 (Fall 2105): 9-12
  
• If you want to engage with the affirming side, the best option is probably Jim Brownson's book Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church's Debate on Same-Sex Relationships. Brownson teaches at Western Theological Seminary (RCA). While I ultimately disagree with him, he's a good example of how someone can respect the authority of scripture and come away with a different perspective on this issue.

Since no one has mentioned this yet, I figured I'd throw in the highly dependable sympto-thermal method. It's what my non-Catholic parents used and what my fiance and I plan to use after we're married. It was perfect for my mother because she had irregular periods, so the rhythm method would not work for her.

It's hard to do, but when it's done correctly, it has a failure rate of 2%. You have to be sharp and disciplined, and not afraid of your own body (so you can check your cervical mucus), otherwise it won't work correctly. All of us kids were planned; my parents wanted to have their first kid two years after they got married, and I was born the same week as their second anniversary. It's more accurate than just the rhythm method because it trains you to get in touch with your own cycle by learning what happens to your body when you ovulate and observing changes in your temperature, not just to follow a calendar. My mother eventually became so in touch with her body that she thought she could feel the egg detach when she ovulated. I've already started tracking my cycles even though I'm not sexually active, and I can almost always predict when I am going to have my period and when I am going to ovulate, which is great because it helps me ride out the mood swings. :) The fiance and I are going to try to plan our honeymoon during the "safe period" after I ovulate so we don't have to worry about a woopsie baby.

Even Planned Parenthood endorses it! And explains it quite well. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/symptothermal-method-22142.htm
Here's another source that shares our values: http://www.christiancontraception.com/symptothermal.php

The book that I was basically given as my sex talk was "The Joy of Being a Woman," and it talks about the sympto-thermal method in detail, among other things. It's a bit dated and awkward, and is not written from a strictly Catholic perspective, but it was very helpful for me. http://www.amazon.com/The-Joy-Being-Woman-And/dp/0060675969

First off, good for you for trying to overcome your own childhood trauma (and yes, emotional neglect is a trauma) and do things right for your family. I am on the same path.

This might sound really silly, but are you familiar with the kids tv show Daniel Tiger? It's a cartoon based off the old Mister Rogers show. The relationships and scenarios are a little more tidy than what you'd see in real life, but I honestly have improved my parenting by using the helpful tips and emulating the adult figures in that show.

There are several books I can think of that have helped me. I would suggest reading more than just parenting books... it's important to heal YOU. (I don't know the details of your childhood or any of the issues that affect you now, besides what you've mentioned, so some of these may not be applicable to your situation.)


http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Our-Children-Ourselves-relationships/dp/1887542329/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414023157&sr=1-1&keywords=raising+our+children+raising+ourselves


http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414023193&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=coependent+no+more


http://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414023212&sr=1-1&keywords=complex+ptsd+from+surviving+to+thriving+by+pete+walker


http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414023231&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+talk+so+kids+will+listen+%26+listen+so+kids+will+talk


http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Children-Control-Their/dp/0310243157/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414023293&sr=1-1&keywords=boundaries+with+kids

that last one is a little heavy with the religious quotes, HOWEVER, even I as an atheist found the book excellent and applicable, and the message very very different from most Christian parenting books. So if you're religious, great, if not, this is still an extremely helpful book. They have an original version written for adults too, which I have not read.


edit: I see you've already posted at the sub I suggested.

1. NFP doesn't have to be complicated (although certainly there are women who have irregular cycles and do struggle with it) - check out marquette university's nfp protocol. All I have to do is pee on stick and I only "chart" when my period starts and when I peak. Honestly I've experienced more women who struggle with infertility than with fertility - most Catholic women adapt to using NFP and I've met many using different methods who rely on their husbands to do the majority of the charting
   
2. "Only moral sex acts are ones that come at risk to women" --> to understand and love the church's teaching on sex you need to read Theology of the Body. I can't explain it in a simple post, but there's a reason the church teaches what it teaches and personally I find it beautiful and life-fulfilling not defeating. Does it suck sometimes? Hell YA sista. But knowing there is meaning in the choice and that practicing self-denial has eternal value changes everything.
   
3. "Women can't be priests" - again if you research and read the answers for why this is, it's logical and reasonable not just men dictating the rules.
   
4. There's a lot of theology about women written by women - in fact you might like Alice von Hildebrand's The privilege of being a woman
   
5. In regards to St. Aquinas, it's a little unfair to take him out of his historical context. Yes he said some unfortunate things about women, but he also said some amazing things about God. Most of the things about women were typical for his time-period.
   
6. If you want better modesty discussions I'd again recommended theology of the body based books - Dawn Eden's Thrill of the Chaste is a good one.
   
   Hoping that didn't feel like an attack because that's not how it was meant. I can understand why you would feel this way, but I truly believe the church has logical and reasonable answers for all your frustrations. Best of luck with coping with these struggles and hope some of this may be helpful to you.

Alright, you've given me a lot too...Work with.

>it seems (based on your comment) that "redpill" is associated with negative connotations that really shouldn't be there if "redpill" is just old fashioned masculinity

It's only fair to say I didn't mention the misogyny that comes with the Red Pill-ideology, and it tends to be well-grounded in 'just old fashioned masculinity'. They tend to take what they see as 'pure biology' and use it to justify treating women rather poorly. But let's focus on your actual thoughts here.

>Being masculine has little to do with dominating women and much more to do with dominating all aspects of your life. I am in control of my life, including my encounters and relationships with women. Why? Because I feel better when I am in control. Generally speaking, I think most men feel better when they are in control.

Well, if women are a part of your life, and you want to dominate all aspects of your life, doesn't that include women? Also, why do you need to dominate everything? Why can't you just engage with something or someone? And why don't women enjoy feeling in control?

>if a woman is going to be in a relationship with me she won't be in control. If she is not comfortable with that then she is free not to be in a relationship with me.

I mean, good for you for not feeling entitled to possessing her if she doesn't consent to it, but this doesn't indicate you think women have an equal place in the family or society in general. Am I reading that right?

>it has little to do with the sexes and everything to do with goals.

How does this not have to do with sex? You're defining your role in relation to another person based entirely on your (and their) sex.

>How can I get where I want to go and achieve what I want to achieve if I am surrendering control of my life to others?

You seem to think that interacting with another person with some semblance of equality is somehow going to eliminate your lifegoals. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't you both lead fulfilling lives, and then come home and discuss your day's activities together? Why do you need to be the one in control? What about her goals? This is a very one-sided perspective that doesn't seem to be taking her goals into account.

And also, what exactly do you mean by control? The word has some bad connotations when it comes to relationships (and for good reason), but am I misunderstanding how you're using it?

>We are all sexual creatures...It's natural.

There are a lot of impulses we have that might be considered 'natural,' but we also believe for a variety of reason that they're wrong, sexual assault being an obvious one, given what we're talking about.

>Part of deciding who to reproduce with is evaluating your partners potential fitness to reproduce, which means viewing them as a sexual resource. Doing anything else seems to be fighting ones own biology, which can never be healthy.

There's nothing wrong with expression of desire, but you seem to think that we simply have some pure sexual drive which you've finally uncovered in some completely raw fashion, devoid of any social, historical or cultural factors, which simply isn't how we operate. Yes, we can study sexuality using empirical methods, but we still experience it subjectively, from a first-person point of view, and the nature of that experience is going to be colored by certain contextual lenses. Look at some sexual history and realize that our understanding of sexuality is never pure, but is always affected by our surroundings.

>my experience (and the experience of men and boys I know) has shown that being vulnerable is not an effective strategy when it comes to securing attention from the opposite sex.

Maybe the problem is that you're being vulnerable simply as a means of getting laid, and not because it's healthy to open up to others and be vulnerable. But maybe this goes back to you enjoying the feeling that you're in control

>In times before birth control if they didn't sort the men properly, there was a very real chance they'd be stuck with a child from a dead beat father. That sorting mechanism is meant to help prevent this possibility.

You seem to think that the only purpose of having sex is to reproduce, even though you acknowledge the existence of birth control prevents that from being a necessary consequence of sex, but even when, say, a married couple is having sex to make a baby, I doubt that's all that's on their mind. They have fun with foreplay, they mess around with different positions, they laugh, the cuddle afterwards. Sex is so much more than just making babies; it's a fun way to feel good and express yourself with another person, and it can be deeply fulfilling, although I guess maybe if you don't like being vulnerable or engaging with the other person as a peer and instead view them as a baby-making resource, those things wouldn't be as easily available to you.

>The sole scientific reason we know life exists is to reproduce.

This is a big claim, but I'll allow it since I'm more concerned with the worldview you seem to be taking with it, where sex is really the reason for everything we do; all the books, movies, games and sports and reddit is all really just for sex. I find this to be incredibly hard to believe, but even if I buy this claim, I can't imagine that living a life solely to have sex is really all that fulfilling or interesting. But then again, I've never had it, so maybe I don't know what I'm missing out on.

>The point is to make you better for you. The by product of having done that will be increased attention from the object of his affection, or increased attention from another.

Ignoring your use of the word 'object' instead of 'person', I don't really believe that the OP will be working out and improving himself simply for the sake of it; he's doing it to get laid. Sex is not the byproduct here; it's the goal, and if OP could get the sex without improving himself, he probably wouldn't be making a post on reddit asking how to get sex.

>He can't help it, he's literally thinking about sex all the time. Do you know what the cure is? Sex. Giving OP any advice that leads to anything other than sex is setting him up for disappointing failure.

>Young men cannot help but be sex obsessed. The cure to this obsession is sex.

Again, I just can't believe that you really think that there's nothing more to life than sex, and that the cure for the obsession is sex. This is such a reductive view of human existence. I think about sex plenty, but I have plenty of other things going on in my life; reading, writing, working, finding better work, hanging out with friends, playing video-games. There's so much more to life than sex, and I frankly feel sorry for you that you see existence as simply a nevereding quest for more sex and better sex.

>To deny them sex or to keep them from the advice that will help them improve their chances at obtaining sex is what will set them up for living a hollow and unfulfilled life.

They really can't lead a fulfilling life without having sex? I said in my original comment that you've made an idol out of sex, and I can't believe how spot-on that was. Idol's are objects that are venerated for their religious or spiritual value, but the problem with idols is that people think the idol itself is divine. They've failed to see it as an icon, something transparent to something deeper. And that's what you've done with sex; you think you've found the key to everything in sex, and as such, you're going to miss out on so much of the fun and depth of engaging with another person in a way that's vulnerable (and so all the much better when they reach out to receive you as you are; broken, but with a beating heart).

Frankly, I'm not even sure what would convince you of how lost you are. You hold biology as the sole foundation of all our existence, which is both incredibly reductive and unaware that such an emphasis on that sort of knowledge is itself a historically conditioned belief. Beyond that, you clearly have some problems if you're unwilling to be vulnerable with others due to it not leading to sex, since you seem to have missed the fact that you don't be vulnerable in order to have sex, but for it's own sake (which, in theory, is why you're improving yourself) and that sex itself is vulnerability (since most sexual responses are beyond your control, or your inability to not think about sex all the time). I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you don't seem to have done much of any research, since your beliefs seem to rely on rather shallow understandings of some combination of Darwin and Freud, which isn't going to get you far. Best of luck in your future sexual endeavors.

I'm sorry that you're having such trouble with your son. Mine is only 2 and I am not looking forward to having days/years like these, though I know they may come.

So being a newish dad and having no experience with children that age, but who has also been trying to read a lot so I can be the best dad possible, my primary thought is that maybe there is something going on besides him just being a brat, and saying things like "you cry like your little sister" is probably not going to do much for his self-esteem. He probably doesn't have any idea what the problem is any more than you do, so just demanding that he change is unlikely to do anything but frustrate you both further.

I am no psychologist but I can recommend a book by psychologists that I think may be good for you to read rather than send this letter:

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Healthy-Choices-Children/dp/0310243157

Let me "warn" you that this is written by two very highly respected psychologists who also happen to be Christians and will reference the Bible throughout the book. Please don't let that put you off of the wise and experienced professional advice contained within its pages. I honestly wish they'd publish secular editions of their books just because there are so many non-Christians who need to read them but will ignore them because the Bible gets quoted. It's a child psychology book first and should be appreciated that way.

The gist of the book (and the original book, simply called Boundaries), is that there are certain things that parents do with their kids that cause their needs not to get met in various ways. The reason these problems tend to repeat from generation to generation within the same family is that if we don't learn how to break that cycle we are just going to live out the same kind of parenting that we learned from our parents, and never realize that some of the things that seem normal are actually unhealthy.

Please check out that book. There is a lot of practical advice about discipline and how to make sure that your son is getting the kind of parenting and environment that he needs in order to function properly.

https://www.amazon.com/Bibles-Yes-Same-Sex-Marriage-Evangelicals/dp/0664239900

TC, read this book. I can't explain it nearly as well as the author, but trust me. It will clarify many outlooks if you choose to have an open mind. I believe that many people refuse to have an open mind, and that causes them to misinterpret God's will. This book helped me find peace on the homosexuality/bisexuality look. Good luck in your spiritual journey! God most certainly does not hate you!

Hi Friend!

Here are some ideas to help you get started:

https://drrobertepstein.com/downloads/Epstein-HOW_SCIENCE_CAN_HELP_YOU_FALL_IN_LOVE-Sci_Am_Mind-JanFeb2010.pdf

https://www.buildhappytogether.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/20180223175850991.pdf

Now I know that you probably aren’t Christian, but if you can wade through the religious bits, the basic premise and dares/challenges might be something you find useful too:

http://www.shenzhoufellowship.org/main2/files/old/SpecialTopics/TheLoveDare.pdf

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Stephen-Kendrick/dp/0805448853

I’m a hands on person and I need literal to dos. I thought you might benefit from the same. Cheers and good luck!

I am a PK myself, my parents took the route love the sinner hate the sin, don't ask don't tell. They pray that I will change all the time ad make indirect comments concerning faith. I would read Justin Lee's book and Matthew Vine's book below. Both deal with coming out as a christian in a very conservative environment. You need support as well, while I don't login much anymore gaychristian.net is a message board to talk to others with similar experiences and the documentary is great below. Dr. Brownson's Book and videos are great for a deep dive into theology. Your parents may not accept you, or worse kick you out, you know them better than I do. Some stay closeted till they are independent. You need to talk to them from a position of knowledge (Resources) and stability / strength.... you can simply choose to love them with boundaries and finding a place to be yourself (this probably involved moving out). Gay Christian Network has a conference in Texas coming up and if you cannot make it, they will live-stream the speaker for latter reference. Finally I would get therapy to deal with this as it can effect your mental health and well being. Free Counseling is offered at colleges and discounted (sliding scale) therapy is offered through therapists who can be found at LGBTQ centers. Talkspace is a app for $100 unlimited a month if you need a therapist to video/call/text on your phone.


{Documentary}_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QImNx1JA3BI - Documentary on Being Gay and Christian (experiences)

{Deep Dive into Bible Verses - Theology}__

Matthew Vine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8ZgSHK6tdA
Dr. James Brownson (Deep Dive Theology)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1f0KD-B0Z8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKOTNneoOpU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kONByDAXko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yt-a0BiAEVs

{Videos}___

http://new.livestream.com/GCNconf - Speakers Keynotes from Gay Christian Network Conference 1,500 Attendees

https://www.youtube.com/user/GayChristianNetwork - Videos why its ok to be gay and christian

{Books}_

http://www.amazon.com/Torn-Rescuing-Gospel-Gays-vs-Christians-Debate/dp/1455514306 - Justin Lee (biography about being gay and christian)

http://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00F1W0RD2 - Matthew Vines

http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Gender-Sexuality-Reframing-Relationships/dp/0802868630 - Dr. James Brownson (deep dive theology)

{Forum / Gay Christian Message Board}

http://www.gaychristian.net

{Find a Gay Affirming Church}____

http://www.gaychurch.org

It's because of this article https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5da721eee4b002e33e78606a

From the article: "Attendees were even told that women’s brains are 6% to 11% smaller than men’s, Jane said. She wasn’t sure why they were told this, nor is it clear from the presentation. Women’s brains absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so it’s hard for them to focus, the attendees were told. Men’s brains are more like waffles. They’re better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square."


Edit: I got curious about how any sane person would have come up with this. I found this book called Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti.


From the book description: "While a man tends to deal with one problem or purpose at a time (moving from waffle square to waffle square), a woman's thoughts generally flow together (like spaghetti noodles). Once you discover how your spouse processes feelings and thoughts, you're on your way to a happy and healthy relationship!"


It would be hilarious if the vendor who developed the E&Y presentation came up with their idea based on this book

I would highly recommend reading Dawn Eden's books.

My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints

She also has this book:

The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On

But if I had to choose between the two, definitely read My Peace I Give You first.

She also has a blog called The Dawn Patrol where she has some audio recordings you can listen too as well.

Since I haven’t seen this book recommended yet I feel like this would be an excellent resource for you both. I’m working through this myself and I’ll be going over it again with my wife once I finish.

The Way to Love Your Wife: Creating Greater Love and Passion in the Bedroom (Focus on the Family Books) https://www.amazon.com/dp/158997445X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wxy6BbA3YHJ1A

If you want to know what it’s like for a guy to struggle with lust pick this one up as well.

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307457974/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9zy6BbJR8SQX5

I would also like to say that you shouldn’t have much to worry about. If your boyfriend is being honest with you about his struggles and if he really wants to get better then he WILL understand when you say you’re not comfortable doing something that he wants to do, wether it’s an idea from porn or not. If you both read the first book together and take notes, discuss personally important chapters, and find a marriage councilor, then you’re setting yourselves up for success.

Ps. I think there’s a companion book for women (for both books) but if I link to to many books someone will start thinking I work for amazon... 😇

I've had a ton of success using two books over the last year as a guide for my Bible studies.

Not a Hint by John Ware Hirth was fantastic for talking about love, dating, and marriage in our culture and in the Bible.

The Personality of Jesus by Francis Clark really opened up the Gospels for my teens (and me too).

I hope that helps!

Women are turned on by emotional connection and attention. Men struggle with making emotional connection and it takes sacrifice in order to provide this. I can't explain the joy of not seeking gratification and truly seeking to provide for someone else. I wish I could explain it better but that is the best I got. If you want the full run down Love & War is one of the best books I have seen on the subject. Check it out.

I'm not well equipped to provide many accessible sources on this, But the church's history in Utah is rife with blackmail and using prostitution etc.... as a means to this end. Smith seems to have done it, As did Young and his predecessors.

Right now I can only offer one credible online source as well as a few books, I've never really kept sources on this issue. EmmaHS, curious_mormon, AnotherClosetAtheist or Mythryn are typically better at providing sources, I'm just a local idiot. You can try bothering them to get something more useful, Mythryn keeps some information on his website, but it's not easy to search.

Here is a link to a Report by C. S. Varian, who was Assistant US Attorney in Utah territory during the 1880

The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power, has information that falls into this area. It's also a very good book for looking at the reality of the LDS leadership and their skeleton filled closets.

Prostitution, Polygamy, and Power: Salt Lake City, 1847-1918 by Jeffrey D. Nichols is another useful read.

That's the best I can do right now, I can't locate better/more available sources. But the Mods/power users I named above have also done posts and stuff about it in the past.

We are going through it now with a facilitator from our church. We are both really enjoying it and it has brought up a lot of good conversations!

Before we got engaged we also went through “Getting Ready for Marriage” on our own and that was a good one too. https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Ready-Marriage-Practical-Together/dp/143470811X

I’m so sorry you’re in that position. If you’re interested in something that you can do while you wait for your spouse, The Love Dare is a book that tries to teach you how to love your spouse unconditionally, and one that I think could be helpful.

There are two books you should buy and read with her. God Loves Sex and Love & War. (Buying a cheap library copy for $1 with $4 shipping is okay, still readable.) What you want advice on is very complicated and involves her as well. I think starting with the books will be the best thing.

A Catholic mom group I was apart of, one of the books that we did was The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. I would also recommend Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grows Healthy Children by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

I think this might be helpful. Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310243157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_SGiRBbX91BJ1X

If you are writing your own ceremony/vows, I'd highly recommend getting a copy of the book "The Wedding Ceremony Planner" by Judith Johnson. It was indispensable as a source of ideas for my husband and I when we were trying to write a non-religious, personalized ceremony (in combination with Offbeat Bride and the rest of teh internets). We got lots of compliments about how beautiful and unique our ceremony was.

Our gay roommate got an officiant certificate online for free and was our officiant for our outdoor wedding. I wrote the ceremony. This is the book I used to write my ceremony for our wedding last year: http://www.amazon.com/The-Wedding-Ceremony-Planner-Essential/dp/1402203438

I borrowed it from the public library. It helped to set up what parts of a wedding ceremony I wanted to include, and then gave several examples of each. I did not have any references to god, no church music, no prayers. And you know what, no one cared (or at least didn't share their disgust to my face). Good luck!

There are many books like this that aren't even fiction. Most notably the one I've linked to below.

I am part of a whole group of people who are living what eddie is experiencing with his family.There's a subreddit for people like us. It's called r/exmormon.

The mormons are more normal in some ways and more strange in others when you compare them to meyerists. But watching this show and how eddie's departure has impacted the family dynamics is absolutely chilling with how similar it is.

When eddie asked "you don't really believe that" and sarah said "you don't even know me" or something I had such a physical reaction. because I know someone whose ex-wife said the exact same thing to him when he decided he was leaving the mormon church.


https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Carolyn-Jessop/dp/0767927575/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491416889&sr=1-1&keywords=escape

Edited to Add: one of the best books I've ever read on the FLDS cult.

https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Wives-Hidden-Mormon-Polygamy/dp/1593764081/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491417309&sr=1-1&keywords=Secrets+and+Wives

I've read this and "Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator." They are both very good companion pieces.

https://www.amazon.com/Stalling-Time-Life-Hostage-Negotiator/dp/1400067251

What I enjoyed most was how it changed my perspective on negotiating. Especially hearing stories where someone gives a hard deadline that is essentially meaningless, it's hard to create a mental model to map the Stalling for Time into real life scenarios, but Never Split the Difference does create these models and they are very useful.

We did the outline ourselves and met with our officiant to go over it. You might want to get this book. It was very helpful in creating our outline and we may pull some readings from it.


Also I found this very helpful.

I recently read a book by Sanjiv Battacharya called "Secrets and Wives: The Hidden World of Mormon Polygamy." In it, he has a chapter all about Namelka and his claims along with several interviews he did with the author. He is an absolutely fascinating and delusional human being.

By the way, the book is written from such an interesting perspective; an atheist's point of view who is trying to figure out what Polygamy and fundamentalism is all about. Worth a read!

Secrets and Wives: The Hidden World of Mormon Polygamy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1593764081/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_kXsNzbVBF62KF

Sure. My top three would be these:

Sexual Wholeness in Marriage https://www.amazon.com/dp/0981957641/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_B8SDCbSKZGE3Z

What Your Parents Didn't Tell You about Sex: An LDS Guide to Sexual Intimacy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1508608873/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_RZSDCbSS6V2V4

And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment https://www.amazon.com/dp/1587830345/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_R1SDCbHVJAKXZ

But the best known book on the subject is this:
Between Husband and Wife: Gospel Perspectives on Marital Intimacy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1680476548/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_h7SDCbRA5JWKB

Right? I don't give a flying fuck what this guy has to say... about anything.

This is the same schmuck who, less than a year ago, WROTE A FUCKING BOOK about how fucking wonderful Trump is.

The dude is a shameless hack who's just out to make a quick buck on his 15 minutes of fame.

I think that this will give you a basic overview better than I ever could

For further reading (if your honestly interested) I'd suggest:

• Bible, Gender, Sexuality
  
• God and the Gay Christian (This one is written by a man who self-identifies as 'conservative' if that seems more up your alley)

I've read so many books about the FLDS. This was one of the first I read and loved it. I was gifted this book last week and I can't wait to get started! If you need any FLDS recommendations, let me know!

We talked about this in a negotiation class that I was in this past semester. There's an interesting behind the scenes balance between using force and buying more time for negotiation, with people on the same side disagreeing more often than not about what should happen next. In the case that I remember reading about, the perpetrator was promised to be let go if he let the hostages go. An FBI helicopter was flown in to take the guy away to fulfill the 'promise', but they actually took him down en route between the building and helicopter.

I highly recommend Stalling for Time, as it's a book written by a hostage negotiator answering these specific kinds of questions.

Never forget that Mooch wrote a book not even that long ago praising Trump. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1546075925/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0

I have three books on my shelves at the moment that I'd gladly recommend:

Torn by Justin Lee. Outside of the US the book is called Unconditional.

Bible Gender Sexuality by James V. Brownson.

God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines.

The first moment, I remember was like my third day of greek class when my professor mentioned how the greek word translated homosexuality doesn't necessarily represent the concept writers, such as Paul, would have been conveying. He talked about a couple of the passages.

I read a book some time later by Mark Achtemeier called The Bible's Yes to Same Sex Marriage. He was a conservative theologian who used to travel around speaking against homosexuality. He had a pretty big change of heart, which gives me hope, and now he goes around speaking against what he used to do and advocating for those in same sex relationships and their full inclusion in the church. Another book, titled What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality is another book I recommend. It's pretty similar to the other book.

There is another book, I can't remember the name right now. But, it is a history of the concept of sexuality. It was based of Foucault's book on the subject. In short, they do a more expansive survey of the development of sexuality. Saying that homosexuality, as we understand it, is an 18th century development. So it would be difficult to maintain truly, that biblical writers would have been disapproving of same sex relationships as they exist today.

Lastly, there is a book called Struggling with Scripture. They write a book about wrestling with interpretation of scripture and use homosexuality as an application point. They kind of, in my mind, synthesize the material between the first three books I mentioned to think about how do we understand biblical texts in light of a changing culture. And give a good balance about how to see the scripture as authoritative texts but also how to think of them in our cultural context.

So, that's a small bit of what I have read. I've shown and told these arguments to many who have asked me. I know a number of people, mostly younger, who have had a similar change as I have. I've had many conversations where we are just talking past each other or who think I'm twisting the Bible. Those are always unfortunate.

"Between Husband And Wife" is also a great book on sexual intimacy within the gospel context.

https://www.amazon.com/Between-Husband-Wife-Perspectives-Intimacy/dp/1680476548

Scaramucci wrote the book "Trump Blue Collar President"

If Scaramucci was a honest dealer he should pull the book off the shelves and refund the buyers. Because if he didn't do such a horrible job as press secretary he would still be working for Trump.

> Gary Noesner

His book is wonderful too.

Depending on what your issues are, you might find this book helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/They-Were-Not-Ashamed-Strengthening/dp/1587830345

This is another good one:

https://www.amazon.com/Between-Husband-Wife-Perspectives-Intimacy/dp/1680476548/

I haven't read this one, but it was written by the prophet's wife:

https://www.amazon.com/Purity-Passion-Spiritual-Intimacy-Strengthen/dp/1590384105/

Gary Noesner is THE negotiator for the FBI, helping found their negotiators training program and spreading the techniques to almost every allied country of the United States. He notes in his biography that after SWAT has used forceful tactics or gone back on their word that it becomes almost impossible for him to negotiate with the subjects. This is the best negotiator in the world, and all modern negotiation techniques are based on his seminars. If he has trouble with people after SWAT acts like jerks, imagine how much harder it is for CIA Charlie to get info out of someone who has been beaten and tortured.

When my wife and I were both still TBM this booked helped a lot.

https://www.amazon.com/Between-Husband-Wife-Perspectives-Intimacy/dp/1680476548/ref=nodl_

It’s written by a TBM sex therapist. She talks (positively) about toys and oral sex. Also discusses making sure each other’s needs are met and how few women are able to have their needs met through intercourse alone.

A local independent LDS Bookstore that deals in rare books actually had this book on the shelf a few years ago:

Prostitution, Polygamy, and Power: Salt Lake City, 1847-1918

He's not tho, he's only back in the media to basically get publicity after his Trump ass kissing book got no sales and didn't help Trump in the midterms.

I would probably have been willing to embrace him (cautiously) if he'd gone directly from hilarious Steve-Bannon-cocksucking quips to calling Trump a fascist. At the time he was fired, he was barely even compromised - he hadn't officially started yet, and his 'service' mostly consisted of praising Trump on TV a few times. Before that, he'd been a mostly clean and unremarkable rich asshole.

But no, he instead tried to get back in Trump's good graces by writing that absurd book.

I don't believe for a second that he thinks Trump's fascism is bad or wrong. He was more than happy to defend it as long as he thought he could be one of the elite, and he was willing to stay silent as long as it wasn't damaging his personal financial interests. Only now, a year after publishing his bootlicking memoir, confronted by the threat of a recession caused by Trump's trade policies, is he finally changing his tune. It's cynical bullshit.

> Demonstrate it.

No.

> It's so obvious just reading Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, etc. that homosexuality is a wicked sin in of itself.

To say that a story about a city of men who try to gang rape three angels visiting them somehow obviously means that God condemns monogamous, same-sex relationships is intellectually lazy at best. Hearing this as one of your scriptural evidences tells me you haven't yet done any sort of serious study on this subject.

Romans 1 is one of the verses that requires careful study and a nuanced hermeneutic. I'm not going to try to debate its meaning here. If you're honestly interested in some careful Biblical study of this subject that arrives at a different conclusion than your own I would recommend reading The Bible, Gender, and Sexuality.

And before writing any nuanced scriptural argument off as hermeneutical gymnastics, consider any of the things in scripture you yourself would not likely claim to follow. Why do we not require women to have their head covered while praying? Because of careful study and a nuanced hermeneutic. Why do we not require women to be silent while in church? Because of careful study and a nuanced hermeneutic. Why do we now condemn slavery despite Paul's command to slaves to obey their masters, and the general lack of condemnation of the practice throughout scripture? Because of careful study and a nuanced hermeneutic. Why do we not stone to death any rebellious sons? Because of careful study and a nuanced hermeneutic.

Keep in mind that what we're debating here in my comment is not even whether or not gay marriages are sinful, but only whether or not it's a reasonable position to hold as a Bible-believing Christian. That's such a low bar. It's honestly about acknowledging that there's a non-zero chance your interpretation of the Bible is wrong on this subject.

To flip it around, it's similar to when an affirming Christian hears your non-affirming stance and immediately calls you a bigot, assumes you don't have the love of Christ in you, and writes you off as a fundamentalist who misses the actual message of the Gospel. I'm sure you're not a fan of that. It's frustrating. It's condescending. It lacks even an ounce of humility in their own position. It's not assuming the best of you.

> but it wasn't culturally condemned to hate or revile them

Even if you hold a non-affirming stance we should be happy that less people 'hate and revile' gay individuals. Even when we condemn a sin we should always be looking for ways to humanize those who are different from us in order to love them in the best way possible.

If you want to be sassy: https://i.imgur.com/bHp6k.jpg

If you want to point toward liberal Christianity:
https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Gender-Sexuality-Reframing-Relationships/dp/0802868630

tldr Loving committed consensual relationships are good and blameless.

I'll edit an email I sent to a pastor as I was on my last leg of liberal Christianity:

>'The following come from Christians who have put a lot of effort into understanding the world and the Bible:

>I believe the Earth is old http://ageofrocks.org/100-reasons-the-earth-is-old/

>I believe humans and apes have a common ancestor http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/comdesc/section4.html

>I believe there was not a cosmic fall. some special humans starting with Adam and Eve gained souls and then changed the spiritual relationship with God and humans: https://www.scienceandchristianbelief.org/serve_pdf_free.php?filename=SCB+18-1+Bimson.pdf

>Thus I believe homosexual actions in nature and even humanity occurred even before Adam and Eve. I believe the pattern of one man and one wife might be optimal, but not the exclusive way to have a family or love another romantically. I think the Old Testament rules no longer apply and the New testament likely describes abusive, cultist and/or pedophilic relationships without mentioning monogamous committed consensual homosexual relationships.

>The ability to reproduce is not a valid reason to prevent marriage. Many people are infertile in heterosexual relationships. Nature does not demonstrate heterosexual behavior as the only means of coupling. Human sex organs clearly physiologically are not perfectly meant for each other regarding reproduction or pleasure and one cannot rely on those sentiment to limit sexual expression.

>I would also say my and many others' primary source is scripture and that the context of the verses regarding homosexuality and what is described as sin in the Bible are not easily interpreted.

>I don't know if I agree with everything in the following post but it addresses interpreting many passages in the Bible associated with homosexuality.

>http://www.gaychurch.org/homosexuality-and-the-bible/the-bible-christianity-and-homosexuality/

>From the [their position paper] linked pdf:
'homosexuality as “contrary to nature.”' It isn't and I think this is misinterpreting the passage. Nature has plenty of homosexuality.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

>"Although homosexual behavior came about as a result of the fall" This is not logical if there is an old evolving earth and no cosmic fall.

>There has been no real success at suppressing homosexual desires even in Christian movements. Sexuality is not entirely fixed but not entirely malleable. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex-ex-gay

>If one does not believe is strict gender roles, which also are more socially constructed than innate, there is no inherent negative consequence to a committed, homosexual relationship. Single parenthood may not be ideal but we don't tell those people they are terrible immoral parents. How does someone born with ambiguous genitals or brain conform to a mold they cannot fit in? Note: There is a significant difference between homosexual urges and other socially destructive urges of infidelity or pedophilia.

>"Because God said so" is not moral reasoning, it is legalism which in other areas we strive to avoid. What other parts of the Bible are to be followed irrationally? Other moral commands have a rational explanation for being unacceptable.

>Where are the pastors using passages of Proverbs and other places condemning obesity of people in and out of church? The Bible talks about it more than verses used against homosexuals. There is more financial and health burdens on individuals and society from the over a third of Americans who are massively overweight.

>I appreciate the discussion, and frankly, REDACTED church is actually much more rational compared to many of the other churches I have been visiting. I am available this evening and tomorrow if you want to meet in person.

>Thank you for your time.'