Well this seems like a good opportunity to post a few of the lessons I learned in my 20s.

To my former self:

If you're depressed, here's how to turn it around

• Stop drinking, this is the main cause.
  
  
• Lift weights. This alone could also stop depression. It's likely related to low testosterone levels
  
  
• Fapping too much makes the depression worse
  
  Fap less, and never to porn
  
  
• Ejaculating too often removed your motivation to take actions and start tasks. You can consider porn like a poison for the mind. Pleasurable but it desensitizes you to all other pleasures, making life seem bland and boring. Until the only thing you want is porn. It perpetuates itself.
  
  
  Gratitude
  
  
• Whatever you are grateful for will grow
  
  
• Gratitude is the only way to be happy. If you think about what happiness is, it's appreciating what you have. When you think of something that would make you happy, you are imagining yourself appreciating it when you get it.
  
  Wealth
  
  
• You can have anything you want, as long as you create enough value for others first.
  
  
• To be wealthy, don't try and do tomorrow's work today, just have a successful day each day. If you have more successful days than unsuccessful days, your wealth will grow. As you have successful and productive days, opportunities will be attracted to you.
  
  Theories
  
  
• The key to success in any area is having the right theory. A small amount of work, or a massive amount of work, with the wrong theory, won't lead to success.
  
  
• With the right theory, success will be relatively straight forward. When you do the thing, it will basically work every time. Anything that has been done many times before, can be done yourself with the correct theory
  
  
• When most people speak of the 'years of hard work' they put in before they 'cracked the game', usually means they were laboring under the wrong theory, and then one day they found the correct theory, and when they applied it, it worked. (excluding world class athletes, talking about common things like starting a business or growing muscles)
  
  
• Theories can be gathered by spending tens of thousands of dollars on seminars or tens of dollars on books. Both can contain theories that work and theories that don't work. Higher cost definitely does not mean they have the right theory
  
  
• Some theories can seem like they are guaranteed to work, but on testing, actually don't. When someone says they have the right theory, it will seem worth any price. Often they actually don't. Beware. If possible buy their book and test it for yourself, it's just as good in book form.
  
  
• This whole list is a list of theories, as you can see, they are usually quite simple and easy to understand. Complexity is usually a sign the person doesn't really know how things work
  
  
  Girls
  
  
• You cannot make a girl like you, you can however find a girl who likes you
  
  
• They key to getting girls is to get in excellent shape (lift weights), dress well, and talk to girls until you find one that likes you
  
  
• If a girl is unsure if she you likes you, won't go on a date with you, or doesn't let you touch her in anyway. She doesn't like you. Find one that wants all those things. Don't be fooled by girls who seem to REALLY like you but doesn't have time to meet, or won't let you touch her. They do not like you like that.
  
  
• Hot girls are just as likely to like you as not hot girls
  
  
• If you like a girl more than she likes you, and she doesn't want to meet up/hang out/have sex. Let her go and move on
  
  
  Career
  
  
• It's very easy to get ahead if you just try, most people don’t
  
  
• You career will naturally progress just through normal learning, don't worry about it
  
  
  Flow
  
  
• If you want things to happen without effort and struggle, live a life with gratitude and presence. Things will seem to happen easily and naturally.
  
  
  Meditation
  
  
• Mediation gives you the ability to be your best. Very handy for improving at anything, particularly gaming, as you see more and learn more. It gives you access to creativity in solving problems and improving your performance
  
  
• Mediation allows you to 'stop the mind'. Do this if you're stuck in over-analysis
  
  
• To meditate, set a time on your phone for 20 minutes, sit still and don't move a muscle, and focus on your breath as often as you can. Your mind will try to stray, just focus on your breath as much as able. This is how you quiet the mind
  
  *****
  Edit:
  
  To answer some requests, here's my list of resources.
  
  Wealth/Metaphysics
  
  
• http://www.audible.com.au/pd/Health-Personal-Development/The-Science-of-Getting-Rich-Audiobook/B00FMUQVSI
  This audiobook has the best summary I've found of how wealth works
  
  Lifting
  
  
• https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738
  
  
• http://startingstrength.com/
  
  
• http://www.leangains.com/2011/09/fuckarounditis.html
  
  How Procrastination works:
  
  
• https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html
  
  
• https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html
  
  How Business works
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Personal-MBA-Master-Art-Business/dp/1591845572
  
  What innovation actually is and how to do it:
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Innovation-Entrepreneurship-Peter-F-Drucker/dp/0060851139
  
  How economics works:
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/How-Economy-Grows-Why-Crashes/dp/047052670X
  
  How to get things done:
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280
  
  Task Management tool:
  
  
• https://todoist.com/
  
  Spiritual Books
  
  
• Spiritual books won't make sense unless you've had an awakening, and you can't make this happen, it happens by chance/grace. If you have, anything by Eckhart Tolle will be amazing.
  
  How to be a man:
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Truth-Spiritual-Guide-Death/dp/1591792592
  
  Audiobooks (most of these can be found on audiobook):
  
  
• Audible.com
  
  Frame Control (Anytime you feel like you're trying too hard or begging for something, you lost the frame)
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Pitch-Anything-Innovative-Presenting-Persuading/dp/1501211811
  
  This is my favourite book of all. They talk about the new type of conscousness which is really really interesting to me. May not apply to all people.
  If anyone find this book interesting I'd love to talk about it:
  
  How the world works:
  
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Spiral-Dynamics-Mastering-Values-Leadership/dp/1405133562
  
  
• https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Spiral-Dynamics-Integral-Audiobook/B00FO5660E
  
  

>##Starting Strength: A Review Of Mark Rippetoe's Barbell Bible


>Starting Strength is a classic, one of the best barbell-based training books ever written. Now there's a new-and-improved edition that raises the bar even higher.


>People who want to get bigger, stronger, and more athletic frequently approach me for training advice and instruction. After all, most of us agree that "strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general." (A little Mark Rippetoe morsel for you.)

>I wish I had time to train each of these people. I'd love to pull them into a gym, put them under a bar, and guide them through the fundamentals of resistance training. Unfortunately, this approach isn't usually possible. For most of these "help-me-get-bigger" brothers, the best thing I can do is recommend a book. Time after time, I recommend the same one: Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe.

>###The Gym Bible

>Never heard of it? Extract yourself from the crazy claws of your favorite biceps curl machine and listen up. Starting Strength teaches you everything you need to know to properly program and perform full range of motion barbell exercises, which are the best functional expression of human skeletal and muscular anatomy under a load. Simply put, your favorite isolation exercise ain't squat compared to the squat. If you're not performing barbell compound exercises, you're not getting the most from your strength workouts.

>As Coach Rip says about the deadlift, it's more functional than almost any other exercise because "it's very hard to imagine a more useful application of strength than picking heavy up off the ground."

>The big problem with barbell training, however, is that the majority of people don't know how to do it correctly, even if they've been training for years. Because every aspect of bar movement is controlled by the lifter, barbell training requires an investment in time and education. Starting Strength addresses that issue. Luckily, readers have just been blessed with the recently released Third Edition, and it's fantastic.

>###Under The Book

>The Starting Strength program is one of the most popular programs in America, particularly in high school and college weight rooms. It also has an incredibly high rating on Amazon, having garnered 90% or more 5-star reviews.

>The only complaints with previous editions of Starting Strength were that it needed better pictures and editing. Welcome to the Third Edition. Without reinventing the wheel, it comes with a new look, new photos, excellent illustrations, and updates in the program based on the experiences of thousands of athletes in the four years since the last release.

>###Why Buy?

>If you're new to weight training, this program is one your best possible investments. Furthermore, if you have been using mainly machines or doing calisthenics, not having mastered squats, bench presses, deadlifts or cleans, then Starting Strength will set you straight. Rippetoe's instructions are simple enough for a novice to understand but detailed enough for a strength coach's arsenal.

>The program stresses the basics of effective compound exercises and weight progression with an emphasis on flawless technique. It is appropriate for anyone looking for a solid foundation in strength, muscle, and power. Starting Strength teaches you to train the body as a complete system, not a collection of parts.

>"Exercise is the stimulus that returns our bodies to the conditions for which they were designed. Humans are not physically normal in the absence of hard, physical effort. Exercise is not a thing we do to fix a problem-it is a thing we must do anyway, a thing without which there will always be problems. Exercise is substitute cave-man activity." (Rippetoe 1)

>###Precision Makes Perfect

>Starting Strength puts a very heavy emphasis on lifting correctly, with over 200 pages dedicated to mastering the five most important movements: the squat, press, bench press, clean, and deadlift. You may have thought you knew how to squat, but until Mark has taught you how bar position effects torso angle, lower body joint relationships, why your knees keep caving in, and why you shouldn't look up when squatting, you'll basically never know.

>While the squat, press, bench press, clean, and deadlift are the focus of the program, Mark does recommend ancillary exercises for certain situations. These are typically useful variations of the main lifts to emphasize weak points, as well as other movements that can be used for pre-hab or corrective exercise. Other included exercises - such as the glute ham raise, dip, and row - contribute to functional strength and movement.

>You won't see leg curls or extensions in Rip's pages, however. In the real world or on the athletic field, the hamstrings and quadriceps always function together when we move. The only place where we can purely isolate these muscles is on a machine, so why should we use this equipment? Just because someone made the machine?

>After teaching you everything you will need to know about technique for the bread-and-butter barbell movements, Rippetoe gives you the carrot with his actual program. These workouts are not long, drawn-out affairs, but are designed to stimulate a response of strength and hypertrophy as efficiently as possible. The novice would start with just the main lifts done with two training sessions, three times per week (Rippetoe 296):

>[Bilder und Ausführungen]

>Rippetoe thoroughly outlines the reasoning behind this basic program, with advice on how to warm up, selecting the work load, and how to make adjustments. He also instructs the reader how to advance the program to continue progress.

>Training begins with warm-ups. This includes the general warm-up to produce tissue warmth throughout the body, as well as exercise-specific warm-ups with an Olympic bar. The specific warm-up isn't only for dynamic stretching and tissue temperature, but is vital to mastering training technique. Skilled lifters treat their barbell movements the same way Arnold Palmer treats his golf swing - they use the submaximal weight to prime the movement pattern.

>Many beginners approach their specific warm-ups the wrong way, doing far too many reps and fatiguing themselves before the work sets take place. Starting with the bar, keep the repetitions below five and advance the weight evenly over four or five sets, decreasing the repetitions to two prior to your work sets. Using this method, your squat training would look like this:

>[Tabelle zu Wiederholungen etc.]

>###Rip Riffs On Fat

>Notable (but emphasized much less) is the infamous GOMAD nutrition program. If you're training to gain significant muscle and strength, Mark suggests that most people are far too concerned with their short-term physical appearance and thus won't eat enough. For certain populations, he recommends GOMAD, which is a "Gallon of Milk a Day" in addition to four whole-food meals (this applies to the skinny guys).

>"Make up your mind that, at least for the first year or two, you're not going to worry about body fat levels if you're already lean, because lean is easier to reacquire than strong is to build" (Rippetoe 310). Rip is also keen to note that "getting ripped" isn't as easy as it might seem: "You have seen pictures of big bodybuilders at 6% body fat in contest shape so often that you think it's normal, desirable, and always possible. " This isn't the case - getting anywhere takes work, and often takes longer than you'd first like. The iron game is one you play for life, not for a few months.

>###Sum Of Rip

>This program is so effective that we can say if your squat only goes up by fifty pounds in eight months, then you obviously weren't following the program correctly. Most people aren't trying to be the next world champion bodybuilder, but would like to have some more muscle and functional strength. Simply put, if you aren't a 3 time Mr. Olympia preparing to defend your title, you shouldn't be training like one. Starting Strength will form the basis of a successful lifting career and teach the fundamentals that will make you big, strong (scary), and keep you safe in the weight room.

>If you're getting serious about training and ready to build your best body ever, you don't need to start somewhere. You need to start here.

Welcome!

You could probably benefit from reading the wiki.

This is my "please make the decisions for me" guide for people who have standard fitness goals and are overwhelmed by all the information. It is not the only way to go about it but everything in it is frequently recommended by users on reddit and works:

• Try and get in the mind set that this is for the rest of your life no matter what level of motivation you're feeling at any one moment. Too many people expect long term results from short term goals. If you want to be fit you won't be doing exactly this forever but you should be doing something like it forever.
  
• Choose a good gym and start Stronglifts. The original Stronglifts document is also worth a read, as is Starting Strength.
  
• The pull/chin up & dip accessories in Stronglifts v1 are recommended if you want to accentuate your arms and back.
  
• If you can't get your own equipment or join a gym then read the /r/bodyweightfitness wiki and start one of the Begginer Routines.
  
• If you want to improve your cardio then add a low-medium exertion run/cycle after each strength workout. Couch to 5K is a frequently recommended program for gradually increasing your jogging ability.
  
• If you want to do more on rest days find a sport you love and do that. Or do yoga or something, for stretching and mild cardio.
  
• Basic stretching exercises. Do the deep squats, hamstring stretches and crucifix stretches 2-3 times per day. For more advanced stretching see Starting Stretching and Molding Mobility.
  
• If strength and aesthetics aren't your primary goals or you're an experienced lifter, use the newbie program picker to determine an optimal routine for you.
  
• Estimate your bodyfat then use the Katch-Mc-Cardle option and include your selected workouts to calculate your TDEE.
  
• Subtract between 500 kCal and 20% of your TDEE to lose weight. Add 300-500 kCal to gain weight & muscle. Use MyFitnessPal to ensure you hit that caloric goal each day. You must eat more than your TDEE if you intend to make any serious muscle gain.
  
• My personal advice is to create your own menus. If you follow a pre-existing diet plan you will not learn much about nutrition and learning about nutrition is key to long term success.
  
• Get a bare minimum of 0.8g of protein per day per pound of lean body mass (calculable from your current weight and body fat percentage). This is a minimum, more is recommended.
  
• You're better off eating fresh food as it gets you in better habits and is usually better for fibre and micro nutrients.
  
• DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) will likely be a problem for the first week or two, but your body will adapt quickly so long as you stick to the program.
  
• Consistency is the key. You do not need to be motivated, you just need to show up and do the workouts. Motivation is fleeting and cannot be relied upon. Convince yourself that the workouts are like going shopping or brushing your teeth - you don't really want to do it, you're not really motivated to do it, it's just something you have to do.
  
• If you're at the gym and really not feeling it focus on the fact that the best way to get out of there is to complete your workout as efficiently as possible. Better form and focus will get it done that much quicker.
  
• You will not get more ripped/muscled/bigger than you want to. That takes concentrated effort, time and intention. You will not wake up one day and be accidentally Arnold.
  
  Stronglifts is a beginners programs designed to maximise your strength gains in a relatively safe way and increase the chances you'll follow the program by being relatively easy to learn and follow. It isn't meant to be followed forever though. Failing, stalling and deloading are necessary for any linear program like Stronglifts. Follow the program properly and ignore anyone who says what your progress should be. Your body can do what it can do, trying to match an average or even macho idea of what you "should" be able to do instead of what you can will just get you injured and/or stalling.
  
  Progress guide to Stronglifts:
  
  
• If you successfully complete an exercises sets with good form add 2.5kg/5lb to that exercise on the next workout (5kg/10lb on deadlifts until you hit 100kg/225lb, then 2.5kg/5lb).
  
• If you can't complete your sets with good form repeat the same weight for that exercise next workout.
  
• If you try the same weight three times in a row and can't complete it on the third then deload 10% for the next workout and use the same progression as before.
  
• When you get to a second deload for that exercise switch to either 3x5 or 3x3 and use the same progression as before.
  
• When you get to a second deload at 3x5 switch to 3x3 or Madcow/Texas Method.
  
• When you get to a second deload at 3x3 switch to Madcow/Texas Method.
  
  I'll repeat this bit: ignore anyone who tells you when these things should happen. That doesn't matter. Just follow the program.
  
  If you want to properly track the changes in your body it's recommended measure your weight, shoulders, biceps, calves, chest, forearms, hips, neck, waist and thighs or whatever combination of those you care about.
  
  
• Record each measurement every day between one and three times. If you record multiple times create an average for each day and use that in future calculations.
  
• Create an average for each week by adding up each days weight/average and dividing by seven.
  
• Graph the weekly points and pay the most attention to 3 week intervals as weekly and even fortnightly differences can be deceiving.
  
  The last point is a very important one - people tend to get a bit excited about sudden drops and peaks which are deceptive and caused by things like water weight. Averaged out over a week and then analysed on a three weekly basis you'll get a much better idea of your real progress. The key is to learn to ignore the daily measurements - they will deceive you and send you on an emotional rollercoaster. Some people find this too difficult and shouldn't do it because they simply can't ignore the daily measurement and it negatively impacts their fitness regime. But try it and try yelling at yourself (in your head) that today's measurement doesn't matter. Then analyse the trend every three weeks. The trend tells you what's what.
  
  People often regret not taking enough photos of their progress. They're easy to delete if you don't want them but you can't regret them into existence so take photos regularly in consistent conditions (lighting, time of day, clothing, angles).
  
  Useful form/technique links:
  
  Bench Press
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (great for beginners)
  
• Jennifer Thompson's benching tips
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (great advice with a great beard)
  
• Crossfit guide
  
• Rippetoe's ramblings series
  
• So You Think You Can Bench Press series (comprehensive)
  
  Deadlift
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (great for beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (beardy=brainy)
  
• Rippetoe's series on deadlifting
  
• Candito on avoiding common injuries
  
• Candito on activating lats
  
• So You Think You Can Deadlift series (comprehensive)
  
  Squats (mostly low bar)
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (beginners)
  
• Omar's Friend Alastair explains the details (great clarifications for beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (this beard is your beard, this beard is my beard)
  
• Rippetoe's playlist
  
• Candito's low bar guide
  
• Candito's form fixes (high bar but applies to low bar)
  
• So You Think You Can Squat series (comprehensive)
  
  Pendlay/Barbell Rows
  
  
• FitnessDudes quick guide (beginners)
  
• Pendlay's explanation
  
  Overhead Press
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (you should consider having sex with a bearded man)
  
• Rippetoe's series on presses
  
• 70's Big common form fixes
  

Welcome!

You could probably benefit from reading the wiki.

This is my "please make the decisions for me" guide for people who have standard fitness goals and are overwhelmed by all the information. It is not the only way to go about it but everything in it is frequently recommended by users on reddit and works:

• Try and get in the mindset that this is for the rest of your life no matter what level of motivation you're feeling at any one moment. Too many people expect long term results from short term goals. If you want to be fit you won't be doing exactly this forever but you should be doing something like it forever.
  
• Choose a good gym and start Stronglifts. The original Stronglifts document is also worth a read, as is Starting Strength.
  
• The pull/chin up & dip accessories in Stronglifts v1 are recommended if you want to accentuate your arms and back.
  
• If you can't get your own equipment or join a gym then read the /r/bodyweightfitness wiki and start one of the Begginer Routines.
  
• If you want to improve your cardio then add a low-medium exertion run/cycle after each strength workout. Couch to 5K is a frequently recommended program for gradually increasing your jogging ability.
  
• If you want to do more on rest days find a sport you love and do that. Or do yoga or something, for stretching and mild cardio.
  
• Basic stretching exercises. Do the deep squats, hamstring stretches and crucifix stretches 2-3 times per day. For more advanced stretching see Starting Stretching and Molding Mobility.
  
• If strength and aesthetics aren't your primary goals or you're an experienced lifter, use the newbie program picker to determine an optimal routine for you.
  
• Estimate your bodyfat then use the Katch-Mc-Cardle option and include your selected workouts to calculate your TDEE.
  
• Subtract between 500 kCal and 20% of your TDEE to lose weight. Add 300-500 kCal to gain weight & muscle. Use MyFitnessPal to ensure you hit that caloric goal each day. You must eat more than your TDEE if you intend to make any serious muscle gain.
  
• My personal advice is to create your own menus. If you follow a pre-existing diet plan you will not learn much about nutrition and learning about nutrition is key to long term success.
  
• Get a bare minimum of 0.8g of protein per day per pound of lean body mass (calculable from your current weight and body fat percentage). This is a minimum, more is recommended.
  
• You're better off eating fresh food as it gets you in better habits and is usually better for fibre and micro nutrients.
  
• DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) will likely be a problem for the first week or two, but your body will adapt quickly so long as you stick to the program.
  
• Consistency is the key. You do not need to be motivated, you just need to show up and do the workouts. Motivation is fleeting and cannot be relied upon. Convince yourself that the workouts are like going shopping or brushing your teeth - you don't really want to do it, you're not really motivated to do it, it's just something you have to do.
  
• If you're at the gym and really not feeling it focus on the fact that the best way to get out of there is to complete your workout as efficiently as possible. Better form and focus will get it done that much quicker.
  
• You will not get more ripped/muscled/bigger than you want to. That takes concentrated effort, time and intention. You will not wake up one day and be accidentally Arnold.
  
  Stronglifts is a beginners programs designed to maximise your strength gains in a relatively safe way and increase the chances you'll follow the program by being relatively easy to learn and follow. It isn't meant to be followed forever though. Failing, stalling and deloading are necessary for any linear program like Stronglifts. Follow the program properly and ignore anyone who says what your progress should be. Your body can do what it can do, trying to match an average or even macho idea of what you "should" be able to do instead of what you can will just get you injured and/or stalling.
  
  Progress guide to Stronglifts:
  
  
• If you successfully complete an exercises sets with good form add 2.5kg/5lb to that exercise on the next workout (5kg/10lb on deadlifts until you hit 100kg/225lb, then 2.5kg/5lb).
  
• If you can't complete your sets with good form repeat the same weight for that exercise next workout.
  
• If you try the same weight three times in a row and can't complete it on the third then deload 10% for the next workout and use the same progression as before.
  
• When you get to a second deload for that exercise switch to either 3x5 or 3x3 and use the same progression as before.
  
• When you get to a second deload at 3x5 switch to 3x3 or Madcow/Texas Method.
  
• When you get to a second deload at 3x3 switch to Madcow/Texas Method.
  
  I'll repeat this bit: ignore anyone who tells you when these things should happen. That doesn't matter. Just follow the program.
  
  If you want to properly track the changes in your body it's recommended measure your weight, shoulders, biceps, calves, chest, forearms, hips, neck, waist and thighs or whatever combination of those you care about.
  
  
• Record each measurement every day between one and three times. If you record multiple times create an average for each day and use that in future calculations.
  
• Create an average for each week by adding up each days weight/average and dividing by seven.
  
• Graph the weekly points and pay the most attention to 3 week intervals as weekly and even fortnightly differences can be deceiving.
  
  The last point is a very important one - people tend to get a bit excited about sudden drops and peaks which are deceptive and caused by things like water weight. Averaged out over a week and then analysed on a three weekly basis you'll get a much better idea of your real progress. The key is to learn to ignore the daily measurements - they will deceive you and send you on an emotional rollercoaster. Some people find this too difficult and shouldn't do it because they simply can't ignore the daily measurement and it negatively impacts their fitness regime. But try it and try yelling at yourself (in your head) that today's measurement doesn't matter. Then analyse the trend every three weeks. The trend tells you what's what.
  
  People often regret not taking enough photos of their progress. They're easy to delete if you don't want them but you can't regret them into existence so take photos regularly in consistent conditions (lighting, time of day, clothing, angles).
  
  Useful form/technique links:
  
  Bench Press
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (great for beginners)
  
• Jennifer Thompson's benching tips
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (great advice with a great beard)
  
• Crossfit guide
  
• Rippetoe's ramblings series
  
• So You Think You Can Bench Press series (comprehensive)
  
  Deadlift
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (great for beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (beardy=brainy)
  
• Rippetoe's series on deadlifting
  
• Candito on avoiding common injuries
  
• Candito on activating lats
  
• So You Think You Can Deadlift series (comprehensive)
  
  Squats (mostly low bar)
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (beginners)
  
• Omar's Friend Alastair explains the details (great clarifications for beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (this beard is your beard, this beard is my beard)
  
• Rippetoe's playlist
  
• Candito's low bar guide
  
• Candito's form fixes (high bar but applies to low bar)
  
• So You Think You Can Squat series (comprehensive)
  
  Pendlay/Barbell Rows
  
  
• FitnessDudes quick guide (beginners)
  
• Pendlay's explanation
  
  Overhead Press
  
  
• Buff Dudes guide (beginners)
  
• Untamed Strength's guide (you should consider having sex with a bearded man)
  
• Rippetoe's series on presses
  
• 70's Big common form fixes
  

I'm not sure if this qualifies for what you're looking for, but I'll re-post my highlights from a few weeks ago in case it helps:

• Exercise. “In SPARK, John J. Ratey, M.D., embarks upon a fascinating and entertaining journey through the mind-body connection, presenting startling research to prove that exercise is truly our best defense against everything from depression to ADD to addiction to aggression to menopause to Alzheimer's. Filled with amazing case studies (such as the revolutionary fitness program in Naperville, Illinois, which has put this school district of 19,000 kids first in the world of science test scores), SPARK is the first book to explore comprehensively the connection between exercise and the brain. It will change forever the way you think about your morning run---or, for that matter, simply the way you think“. Source: https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522973939&sr=1-1&keywords=Spark%2C+The+Revolutionary+New+Science+of+Exercise+and+the+Brain
  
• Eat a healthy diet and follow some of the practices taken from Blue Zones, which are populations that have an unusually high number of centenarians. Some key take-aways from studies blue zones (Source: https://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/1426216556/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_cmps_btm?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews):
  
  • Long-lived people live on a high-carb, low-fat, plant-based diet;
    
  • Long-lived people eat a lot of vegetables, including greens;
    
  • Whenever they can get it, long-lived populations eat a lot of fruit;
    
  • When animal products are consumed, it’s occasionally and in small amounts only;
    
  • Long-lived people had periods in their life when a lot less food was available and they had to survive on a very sparse, limited diet;
    
  • Long-lived people live in a sunny, warm climate;
    
  • Long-lived people consume beans in some form or another;
    
  • Nuts appear to be good for health;
    
  • The typical diet is very simple and many essentially eat the same simple foods every day
    
  • Quality food over variety is more important;
    
  • They had an active lifestyle and moved a lot
    
  • Many of them got 5 to 6 hours of moderate exercise per day;
    
  • Many of them loved to work and had a sense of purpose in life;
    
  • Many had large families;
    
  • None of them smoked or ate massive amounts of food.
    
• Be a super-ager – “Which activities, if any, will increase your chances of remaining mentally sharp into old age? We’re still studying this question, but our best answer at the moment is: work hard at something. Many labs have observed that these critical brain regions increase in activity when people perform difficult tasks, whether the effort is physical or mental. You can therefore help keep these regions thick and healthy through vigorous exercise and bouts of strenuous mental effort.” Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/31/opinion/sunday/how-to-become-a-superager.html
  
• Boost your microbiome by eating a diverse diet. “Diet is perhaps the biggest factor in shaping the composition of the microbiome,” he says. A study by University College Cork researchers published in Nature in 2012 followed 200 elderly people over the course of two years, as they transitioned into different environments such as nursing homes. The researchers found that their subjects’ health – frailty, cognition, and immune system – all correlated with their microbiome. From bacterial population alone, researchers could tell if a patient was a long-stay patient in a nursing home, or short-stay, or living in the general community. These changes were a direct reflection of their diet in these different environments. “A diverse diet gives you a diverse microbiome that gives you a better health outcome,” says Cryan. Source: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140221-can-gut-bugs-make-you-smarter
  
• Have a healthy mind-set – don't ever succumb to the stereotypical mind set that getting older = decline. “To Langer, this was evidence that the biomedical model of the day — that the mind and the body are on separate tracks — was wrongheaded. The belief was that “the only way to get sick is through the introduction of a pathogen, and the only way to get well is to get rid of it,” she said, when we met at her office in Cambridge in December. She came to think that what people needed to heal themselves was a psychological “prime” — something that triggered the body to take curative measures all by itself. Gathering the older men together in New Hampshire, for what she would later refer to as a counterclockwise study, would be a way to test this premise. The men in the experimental group were told not merely to reminisce about this earlier era, but to inhabit it — to “make a psychological attempt to be the person they were 22 years ago,” she told me. “We have good reason to believe that if you are successful at this,” Langer told the men, “you will feel as you did in 1959.” From the time they walked through the doors, they were treated as if they were younger. The men were told that they would have to take their belongings upstairs themselves, even if they had to do it one shirt at a time. At the end of their stay, the men were tested again. On several measures, they outperformed a control group that came earlier to the monastery but didn’t imagine themselves back into the skin of their younger selves, though they were encouraged to reminisce. They were suppler, showed greater manual dexterity and sat taller — just as Langer had guessed. Perhaps most improbable, their sight improved. Independent judges said they looked younger. The experimental subjects, Langer told me, had “put their mind in an earlier time,” and their bodies went along for the ride.” Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/26/magazine/what-if-age-is-nothing-but-a-mind-set.html
  
• Live a life that has meaning – or, in other words, have a personal mission statement in life. Strive to accomplish something or to help others. “It is the pursuit of meaning is what makes human beings uniquely human. By putting aside our selfish interests to serve someone or something larger than ourselves -- by devoting our lives to "giving" rather than "taking" -- we are not only expressing our fundamental humanity, but are also acknowledging that that there is more to the good life than the pursuit of simple happiness.” Source: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/theres-more-to-life-than-being-happy/266805/
  
• Volunteer and help others. “Volunteering probably reduces mortality by a year and a half or possibly up to two years for people who are in their senior years,” says Stephen G. Post, a professor of preventive medicine at Stony Brook University School of Medicine and the author of The Hidden Gifts of Helping and Why Good Things Happen to Good People. “If you could put the benefits of helping others into a bottle and sell it, you could be a millionaire in a minute.” Source: https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Why+do+we+hesitate+to+help%3F-a0352848707
  
• Do strength training – there is an association between muscular strength and mortality in men (2008). Source: https://www.bmj.com/content/2/4225/927.4
  
• This is also a great book: 'How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease' by Michael Greger: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25663961-how-not-to-die . You can find a summary of it here: https://www.allencheng.com/how-not-to-die-by-michael-greger-summary/

>BULKING 101: HOW TO EAT FOR MAXIMUM MUSCLE GAINS

>As you know, if you’re in the 10 to 12 percent body fat range and looking to put on muscle as quickly as possible, you want to bulk.

>Yes, you’ll gain some fat along the way, but if you do it right, it won’t be excessive, and it’ll come off easily once you’re ready to cut.

>Based on my experience working with thousands of people, the average guy on a proper bulk will gain muscle and body fat at a ratio of about 1:1 (1 pound of fat gained for every pound of muscle).

>In terms of weight gain while bulking, you want to see your weight going up at a rate of 0.5 to 1 pound per week. Any more than that, and you’ll be gaining too much fat.

>If you’re new to weightlifting, however, then you’ll probably gain 2 to 3 pounds per week for the first few weeks while your muscles fill up with water and glycogen. This doesn’t mean you’re gaining too much fat, and you should see this number settle into the 0.5 to 1-pound range within your first four to six weeks on the program.

>When you have your bulk dialed in, you should be increasing reps on your major lifts every week and weight on the bar every three to four weeks.

>CALCULATING YOUR BULKING DIET

>As you know, a proper bulking diet requires that you eat more calories than you burn every day.

>While this sounds like a great idea now, don’t be surprised if you get sick of eating “all of this food” at some point along the way. You won’t be slamming down thousands of extra calories every week like some programs would have you doing, but even slight overfeeding over time can get a little uncomfortable.

>You can also expect to hold more water than normal, as you’ll be eating a substantial amount of carbohydrate every day. This makes you look kind of “puffy.” Again, it’s just part of the “price” you have to pay for optimizing muscle growth.

>So, let’s get to the actual dietary numbers for bulking. Here’s where you start:

> 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight per day

> 2 grams of carbs per pound of body weight per day, and

> 0.4 grams of fat per pound of body weight per day.

>That’s where you start. For a 150-pound guy, it would look like this:

> 150 grams of protein per day,

> 300 grams of carbs per day, and

> 60 grams of fat per day.

>This would be about 2,340 calories per day (remember that protein and carbs contain about 4 calories per gram and fat contains about 9), which is the right place to start bulking for a 150-pound man.

>Chances are these numbers are lower than other recommendations you’ve seen on the Internet. That’s because many bulking programs out there are just overkill. They put you in a huge calorie surplus with the explanation that you have to “eat big to get big.”

>Well, while it’s true you have to eat more than you normally would to maximize muscle growth, you don’t have to eat nearly as much as some would have you believe.

>GENERAL BULKING RECOMMENDATIONS

>When I’m bulking, I try to be within 100 calories of my daily target, and I err on the high side (it’s better to be over your target than under).

>Don’t think of a bulk as a license to eat whatever you want whenever you want it, as this will inevitably lead to excessive overeating and thus excessive fat storage, which will slow down your gains in the long run.

>You can have a cheat meal every week, but keep it moderate. We’ll talk about why soon, but a high-protein, high-carbohydrate cheat meal is preferable to a high-fat one.

>I recommend eating plenty of meat while bulking because it’s particularly effective for building muscle. Generally speaking, I eat two servings of meat per day (lunch and dinner) and alternate between various types such as ground turkey, chicken, lean beef, and fish.

>ADJUSTING YOUR NUMBERS

>The numbers given in the formula above are starting points, and there’s a chance that you will need to eat more to effectively gain strength and muscle (especially if you have an ectomorphic body that is naturally skinny and lean). Part of the game is finding your body’s “sweet spots” for bulking, cutting, and maintaining.

>Fortunately, this is easy to do. Most guys will find their sweet spots to be within 10 to 15 percent of the targets they originally calculated, but some need to eat more to steadily gain weight (it’s rare for a guy to gain fat too quickly on the above recommendations and have to reduce intake).

>So, if, after seven to ten days, your weight hasn’t gone up despite pushing yourself hard in your workouts, you’re just not eating enough. Increase your daily intake by 100 calories (by adding more carbs, preferably) and reassess over the next seven to ten days. If this doesn’t result in weight gain, increase again and repeat the process until you’re gaining weight at a rate of about 0.5 to 1 pound per week.

>If you’re like most guys, here’s how it’s going to go: you’re going to start with the above formula and gain weight for the first month or two, and then you’re going to stall. You then will increase your daily intake once or twice and start gaining again. At some point, you’ll probably stall again, increase again, and start gaining again. After a bit more progress, your body fat percentage will eventually reach the 15 percent range, and you’ll have a month or so left to bulk before you cut to strip away the fat and repeat the process.

>You can reduce your calories to a maintenance level on your rest days if you want, or you can stick to your bulking numbers. The small reduction won’t make a difference in terms of overall fat storage, but some guys like to take a break from all the eating a couple of days per week.

Matthews, Michael (2014-01-05). Bigger Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Male Body (The Build Muscle, Get Lean, and Stay Healthy Series Book 1) (pp. 122-123). Oculus Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Regarding kettlebells- it's unlikely at your current fitness level that your doctor will be cool with a swing progression, but I think farmer's walks and turkish getups could be great for you. Think about your muscle-building efforts in terms of the five fundamental human movements: Push, Pull, Hinge, Squat, and Loaded Carry. Push is like a bench press, overhead press or pushup. Pull is like a row, or pullup. Hinge is a deadlift, kettlebell swing, or good morning. Squat is self explanatory, and Loaded Carry is like a farmer's walk. Ideally to make a balanced routine you'd get some work done in every category over the course of a week.

How much food: There are many TDEE calculators out there- I'd reccomend plugging your stats into a few to see what you get. Your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) is how many calories you need to eat to stay the weight you currently are. (Note: your TDEE is not your BMR (Base Metabolic Rate). Your BMR is what you would need to consume to maintain weight if you were in a coma and absolutely not doing anything.) To stay the same weight, you track your calories to try to hit that number, and weigh yourself regularly (I reccomend early morning before breakfast- makes it easiest to catch when the normal couple pounds of variation starts to drift) and put it in to myfitnesspal so you can see it on a graph. Tracking your weight and your calories is the only way to know if your estimated numbers are the correct TDEE for you.

This last bit can be confusing. There's the obvious issue with correctly estimating your exercise when you put it into the calculator- what does 'three times a week' really mean? But there's also the tracking calories accurately issue: You know how you sometimes hear people say 'I only eat 1100 calories a day, but I just can't lose weight!' Welllllllll.... no. They are either not recording food they eat, or not recording it correctly. Food labels can be up to 25% off, and it's very easy if you're measuring in anything other than grams (looking at you, myfitnesspal listings for 'one chicken breast'. Not helpful) to be off by quite a bit. But what you can be is consistent. If your daily calorie count is consistently wrong by 300 calories, your weight probably won't move much. (500 calories one way or the other off of your TDEE is about the right amount to gain or lose weight.) So what you do is watch your weight to see what's actually happening. If you don't see any movement over the course of a couple weeks, then you change your calorie goal for the day with the knowledge that it's a bit like aiming for a target with a gun that pulls to the left. In order to hit the target, you're overcompensating by aiming 'too far' to the right.

Macros: Depends on the kind of exercise you are doing, but for now when you're setting up your myfitnesspal goals I'd suggest trying for an 50% carb, 25% protein 25% fat split. This is actually a pretty high carb ratio, but probably less than you are currently eating. When you adjust to it, try to increase your protein and fats. And do try to get your carbs from 'complex' sources. Get your sugar bundled with some fiber like it is in fruit and whole grains. (There's a whole deep and I think very interesting rabbit hole about grain and how we process it interacts with our bodies. Basically grain is pretty okay, but what we do with it to make it into modern bread is pretty terrible.)

Okay, that was probably super overwhelming, but I wanted to give you a good base of understanding.

TLDR: On a daily basis, it looks like this. You've calculated your TDEE, decided you want to gain weight so you're eating goal is 500 calories over that. Before breakfast, you weigh yourself and put that into myfitnesspal during breakfast computer-time, during which you can also enter breakfast (probably the same thing every day, or one of a couple of common things, so easy to enter) and lunch (which you precalculated when you made up the big batch of it on the weekend.) Then you have a pretty good idea of what macros you need to 'fill in' with, and can make educated decisions about snacking and dinner. Maybe once a week look at your weight and food graphs, and see if you are hitting your goals, and what you might want to adjust.

Fiber is actually pretty easy to get enough of if you eat fruits and veggies. But if you have yogurt for breakfast, soup and sandwich for lunch, and pasta for dinner, you can find yourself in trouble even if you're 'eating healthy' and at a good weight. If you're worried about it, there's nothing wrong with taking a fiber supplement. I actually buy psyllium husk and mix it into my morning yogurt- I rather like how it thickens up the texture. But you can also take it in pill form, both work.

While we're on the topic of supplements- there are only a couple that have any proven health benefits to a basically healthy person. Vitamin D has good data, as does fish oil. Unless your doctor tells you that you do, you don't need a multivitamin. I also suggest eating probiotics- the data coming out on the gut/brain connection is really quite compelling, and home-made saurkraut/kimchi/preserved lemons/kombucha is actually dead-easy to make if you're interested, and can be a nice 'Wow, you made that?!' confidence boost.

Books that helped me learn:

• Enter the Kettlebell by Pavel
  
  
• The Well Fed books you're already looking for
  
  
• The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
  
  
• Becoming a Supple Leopard by Dr. Kelly Starrett
  
  
• The Art of Fermentation by Sandor Katz

Please do not interpret what i'm about to say as me being an asshole (although I often have been accused as such). I'm trying to help, rather than bullshit you with the equivalent of a participation trophy or a motherly pat on the back.

I'm stating this with love (although it is tough love): If I've ever seen someone that needs r/TheRedPill, its you my friend. I'm not saying that you should become an asshole or be disrespectful to women, but rather that you should focus on building yourself up in the same style. There is absolutely the capacity to be an alpha male within you. And that's what women will find attractive consistently. I'm not saying you should become a macho chump poser that demeans and disrespects women (that's not what a real alpha male does anyway), but rather that you should identify and adopt the characteristics of an alpha male that women find attractive and craft your own new persona. Root out the JW mindset and adopt a new one. Got me?

Its time to work on yourself rather than working on trying to get laid. Its time to grow a pair of balls. Now, rather than simply saying "grow a pair of balls", let me try to help and give some recommendations of how you might go about doing that.

Get a gym membership (maybe check and see if your university has one that you can use free), and try the Starting Strength program. See here: https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738/

Starting strength will make a man out of you. One tip: Don't use the smith machine. Use a real squat rack. Yes, its required. Yes, with barbells.

Read this book too, its a real eye opener for reading people (including women): https://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language-Expressions/dp/0553804723/

Read up on affirmations, how to make them and use them, and start using them DAILY, maybe even more often than once a day. You probably don't need a book to research this, a simple google search will do. Harness the power of positive self-talk.

The words you say to yourself in your head or mutter to yourself quietly when nobody else is listening have a huge effect on how you view yourself. And by extension, others (especially women) can sense how much value you perceive that you have, and often will treat you in accord with that value you project.

>My date was kind of rude as she actually took a phone call from her male friend within the first 10-20 minutes of the date, I think she was even flipping through Tinder as we were talking.

This should have been an early warning signal letting you know that she wasn't worth your time. She didn't value your time and presence (and that is likely because you didn't establish your own value to her).

>Of course my problems only make me feel worse as one of my roommates is like extremely fit black young Hugh Hefner. This guy fucks all the time, like weekly.

That is fucking hilarious lol, but I really sympathize with you. I'm sure its torture that he's getting laid every night and you have to listen to the fucking. Is this guy friendly towards you? Is he willing to help with your issues? You never know, he may take some pity on you and help you to work on yourself a bit. Even if he isn't, pay attention closely to his attitudes and interactions with women and with others wherever you can. Don't try to be an exact copy of him, but watch for attitudes, words, and actions that he manifests that feel right for you, and that you could adopt into your own new persona.

>I feel especially shitty as "technically" I'm not a virgin because I fucked who I thought was going to be a women through MeetMe, but it turned out to be a transgender dude, my fault I guess as further inspection of the photos made it more obvious. I was going to leave but I was persuaded by an offer of a blowjob. I figured this was the first time I was offered anything sexual and I was under a lot of family related stress at the time so I said fuck it and got a BJ, and had to reciprocate him in the backside.

This is some 4chan shit right here, so allow me to present the appropriate meme: http://www.lememe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/55556666.png

Don't beat yourself up too bad. Its behind you, and you never have to do this again if this type of hook up is not your style.

>So apparently finding a dude that wants to fuck is incredibly easy, finding a women in my case is like hunting for the holy fucking grail.

Yes, that's the honest to god truth when you don't project enough value to others. The only people you attract are people who are as desperate as you are.

>Don't get me wrong that all I want is sex, yes sex would be awesome, but I'm not afraid to be in a relationship, but at the same time I'm not going to turn down a hookup.

This screams desperation. You need to drop this mindset immediately. (Again, affirmations will help with this)

>My philosophy is just honoring whatever dating arrangement I agree to with a person, I have no religious reasons.

Again, desperation, compliance, submission. These traits will not attract women - at least not desirable ones.

>I tried talking to some women at parties, asked one to dance and she said no, even though she was standing against the wall not doing anything...

Again, you projected a lack of value, she judged you on the surface because of the lack of value you projected, and shut you down.

>...asked another how she was doing and she said good and that was it, and I had a little more luck at my last party as I got to help a girl with her Microsoft Access homework, we high-fived and were both wasted. I asked her if she was single and she said yes, but that she was just visiting and was going back home in a couple of days, so I just shook her hand and said it was nice we met.

That didn't mean she wasn't DTF my friend. She may have just been waiting for you to move on her. Lots of times, women are waiting for a man to confidently take charge when it comes to initiating sex. I'm sure nobody ever told you that (hell, nobody told ME that!!), but it is often true :)

>I'm giving this college thing one more semester before I call it quits. I'm not going to get another degree if it requires me to be miserable and single for another 3 years. I mean I'm charting into 30 year old wizard territory at this point and it scares the shit out of me. My friends have been trying to get me to move to Florida and I just may take them up on the offer.

Changing your location without changing your mindset is not likely to make a significant change to your circumstances. Although, it could offer you the opportunity to a fresh start, which could be helpful :)

>Any advice would be appreciated, I just feel the cult has taken a huge chunk of my life away when I was supposed to learn valuable social skills. I feel like a fucking child or an alien learning how to be human, even though I have been out of the cult for quite some time now, but have really only been away from toxic family for four months.

Yes, that's probably what happened. And its up to you to change it. Nobody else is going to do it for you. So stop wallowing in your own misery and change it. (Respectfully, with tough love, man to man.)

>My plan for next semester is joining some clubs, going to bars, and going more parties, and trying to strike up more conversations with women in class getting a gym membership, working on your self esteem and your ability to project your value to the opposite sex, and learning how to interact with women in a way that makes you attractive.

>If nothing happens in the second semester I'm just going to say fuck it and move, I'm at a point in my life were I'm tired of going out to eat by myself, shopping by myself, watching movies by myself, and doing everything else by my fucking self. All I did this Thanksgiving was sleep and get drunk. I've read all those articles about "loving yourself first", this isn't a problem about loving myself, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm just so fucking sick of being alone, I don't have a family, I have no one close to me.

I feel your pain man. Now is not the time to give up, but it is time to change your approach.

I haven't even read the guys but from what I understand they are (a) MRA and (b) Red Pill. My ideology is (a) anti-feminist but also anti-MRA and (b) against both Blue and Red Pill for the reasons explained in OP.

And practical solutions are in some of the sections I linked you just have to know how to read the thing. I don't dwell on those subjects because I am not successful in dating myself so why would I give other people advice? What I do instead is share my experiences with dating and refer to some of the resources that seem helpful and critique the ones that seem less helpful. I believe there is useful stuff in what I linked you to. For example in the tri-fold solution:

• learning how to lift with correct form and compound lifts (squats, deadlifts, etc.)
  
• learning good fashion
  
• learning how to cook, change tires, drive a car, know basic DIY
  
• learning how to be financially prudent
  
• learning how to be career oriented (i.e. have direction for the future) - and potential support with this (qualifications, references, etc.)
  
• learning how to hold conversations with friends/family acquaintances as well as being able to talk to strangers
  
  ​
  
  (as a basis which everyone knows anyway)
  
  And the platitudes I critique but can work I guess:
  
  
• online dating
  
• clubs and societies
  
• basic hygiene
  
• getting out of the house
  
• just being confident
  
• just being ourselves
  
• approaching women
  
• having purpose and ambition in our lives
  
• looking for self-actualisation in passions of ours that lie outside of dating women
  
• going to bars and night clubs
  
• hitting the gym
  
• consuming works of art, literature or filmography by feminist women with strong female protagonists
  
• seeing a therapist/psychiatrist/other related expert
  
• *insert meaningless tripe*
  
  ​
  
  (note: mentioned in the link I sent you: "Yes ... plenty of us have tried [those things] and for those of us ... who hadn't ... well it is all here for them now.")
  
  ​
  
  Also:
  
  
• Concrete Advice
  
  At [[](https://www.reddit.com/r/GoodMenGoodValues)*my community], we are open to concrete advice as opposed to nebulous inner-game concepts such as self-reflection and the other ones mentioned. For example, I the author of the GMGV Primer have read Mark Rippetoe's fantastic book "Starting Strength". Since some degree of muscularity is attractive to women, that is the way I workout now, but if you suggested that literature to me (without knowing that I had read the book), I would not have considered it platitude advice. Mark Manson's "Models" and Love System's "Magic Bullets" (guides to attracting women) are two relatively inexpensive books I have mixed feelings on (the content has pros and cons) but again, I would not consider that platitude advice. Lifestyle and dating tips that discuss the severely neglected verbal game element of approaching women are especially recommended because most existing "verbal game" is either just*
  
  

1. gimmicky canned material and stupid "routine stackers" that are simply dreadful
   
2. so-called "authentic" PUA that denies the legitimacy of verbal game because of number 1. but don't really consider alternatives because you should "just be confident" and let conversation flow freely or some bullshit
   
   Anything else that deals with propinquity (i.e. specific lifestyle choices that get you closer to women and not just "get a hobby, bro!" simplified bullshit) is considered concrete advice at GMGV. If you are reading this and you don't have any concrete suggestions (because not everyone does), that's fine. Just don't bother giving platitudes, or even advice really. Also, at this point most people normally say they have to know about you personally to give concrete suggestions but it's not true because the fundamentals for being attractive to a wide population of women are always the same click here.
   
   For that reason, you don't need to know the ins and outs of a person's life to give this advice. For example, Starting Strength is a sufficient foundation for the muscularity aspect (well the barbell training part, not so much for nutrition) - as an example. So far I have never encountered a sufficient foundation for verbal game. However there is a sufficient foundation for body language, which is SOFTEN (smile, open body language, forward lean, touch, eye contact but "nodding" not so much, I believe).
   
   But again, I really don't want to hear about nebulous inner game concepts unless it's to do with a specific discipline like positive psychology or stoic philosophy but with stronger empirical grounding. Because that stuff is interesting by itself anyway. If you have an academic interest in virtue ethics or Buddhist philosophy, Taoism or any related subjects I would love to learn from you.
   
   ​
   
   And finally:
   
   

   Here are some resources based on the central theme in the 'tutelage section' of the Primer.
   

   
   

• Learning how to lift with correct form and compound lifts (squats, deadlifts, etc.)
  
  "Starting Strength: Basic Barbell Training", Mark Rippetoe [click here]
  
  
• General physicality: self-defence, strength and conditioning, etc.
  
  Beast Skills: Bodyweight Strength Training [click here]
  
  Official Then X: An Introduction to Calisthenics [click here]
  
  Official Bas Rutten: General Strength & Conditioning, Self-Defence and Mixed Martial Arts [click here]
  
  Street Smart Self Protection and Weapons: General Strength & Conditioning, Self-Defence and Mixed Martial Arts [click here]
  
  
• Learning Good Fashion
  
  Not covered
  
  
• Learning how to cook, change tires, drive a car, know basic DIY
  
  Not covered
  
  
• Learning how to be financially prudent
  
  Not covered
  
  
• Learning how to be career oriented (i.e. have direction for the future) - getting good qualifications, references, etc.
  
  Not covered
  
  
• Learning how to hold conversations with friends/family acquaintances as well as being able to talk to strangers
  
  Conversation Starters [click here]
  
  Confidence: What It Is, What It Isn't [click here]
  
  Social Confidence Builders [click here]ve to learn and read it. It is primarily an ideological manifesto, not a how-to handbook. But how-tos happen to be in there.

Lemme put the TL;DR at the top. You need to start training with weights. Specifically heavy compound barbell movements: squats, deadlifts, overhead press, and bench press.

Longer version:

You have described several problems:

1. Loneliness
   
2. Self-esteem issues
   
3. The need to see tangible results
   
4. Your lack of self-discipline
   
   Lifting weights addresses all of these issues and a bunch more. But I'm not recommending you go in there and hire a trainer (too expensive) or just pick a routine off of bodybuilding.com (you're not going to stick to it).
   
   Instead I want to introduce you to a concept called training. Of course you've heard the term before, but do you know what it means? Most people exercise when they go to the gym. Chances are, when you think of working out, you think of exercising. Exercising is essentially punching a clock on physical fitness. It's also, in my opinion, a waste of time (unless it's just something you like to do). What do you get from it? Hot, sweaty, out of breath, and you feel like you worked out hard. What you likely didn't do was get stronger.
   
   To get stronger, you have to train. Training is essentially sticking to a plan that will get you to your goals. All I'm asking for is three times a week doing 3 exercises for 3 sets of 5 reps a piece. That's it. No running. No abs work. Hell, you don't even have to stretch. (Or if you enjoy those things, do any or all of them.) But if you can learn to do 4 lifts - squats, bench press, overhead press, and deadlift - you can gain several hundred pounds on your lifts in a few months.
   
   Yes. You. It works for everybody who does it. And there are people in their 80s on this program deadlifting 315 lbs. This is a program that literally anybody can do. With that being said, you'll want to study up on good form.
   
   The program you want is called Starting Strength. There's a book. There's a website. There's an app. There's a YouTube channel. And there's a subreddit, with an active Starting Strength Coach as one of the moderators. And there's a guy at the top of it all, Mark Rippetoe, to guide you through the whole deal.
   
   As you can tell from the title, this is for beginners. If you have less than a year in the gym, that means you. "Beginner" refers to your potential for gains, not how long you've been doing it.
   
   Speaking of, the thing you're going to love is what's known as "noobie gains". Literally every time you go to the gym you're stronger. You can progress 5 lbs. per visit per lift for months before your noobie gains give out. That means if you start with the bar (45 lbs.), which is as good a place to start as anywhere, 8 weeks later you'll be lifting 165 lbs. Four weeks after that you'll be lifting 225 lbs. That's 2-45 lb. plates on each side. And you'll continue to go up from there. For squats and your deadlift, this is practically guaranteed.
   
   It's hard to feel like crap about yourself when you can't stop getting stronger. I swear, it will feel like magic.
   
   I could talk about the program all day, but I'll just say one more thing about it and that's to give you the program. There's a A day and a B day. You alternate days. So week one is A-B-A. Week two is B-A-B and so on.
   
   A Day - Squats (3x5), Overhead Press (3x5), Deadlift (1x5)
   
   B Day - Squats (3x5), Bench Press (3x5), Deadlift (1x5)
   
   The first few weeks you're in there will be so quick you'll be in and out in 30 minutes. But as it gets heavier, you'll take your time more. Starting light (bar weight for everything except deadlifts... 95 lbs for deads) gives your body plenty of time to get used to doing the movements and will slowly strengthen everything in your body so you don't feel like you're dying from the start.
   
   Besides getting strong, you'll make friends. Contrary to what you may think, the world's best thing to see in a gym (besides fitness chicks) is a new guy with a plan. We only hate that guy if he proves to be an idiot. Just re-rack your weights and be cool and everything will go great for you.
   
   If you need a spot for the bench, ask for one. You'll get asked to spot eventually. It's just good gym etiquette to do it for other guys in there. It's an easy way to make friends.
   
   And if you're thinking, "who would want to be friends with me?", that question is kind of irrelevant if I just need you to spot the weights and tell me that I crushed it when I get finished. Which is all you need to do to make friends at the gym.
   
   If you set a regular time to go, other people are doing the same thing. Show up 12 times in a row (4 weeks worth) and see if you don't start making a few friends. You'll impress people with your work ethic. You're doing the big boy lifts, so others are going to watch your form and so on. It's not a big deal. And if you really work on your form, hand to God, within 3 months you'll have a bro lifter who can bench more than you squat explain to you why they can't squat right. Knees, or back, or something other silly nonsense. That just means they're impressed with what you're doing.
   
   Anyway, I've already written a wall of text. But trust me. You need compound barbell movements in your life. They'll do more for you in two weeks than literally anything else you could do.
   
   From there, that will make you care about your diet (are you getting enough protein?), and your sleep. That fixes more issues and before you know it, you're feeling like the man.
   
   The weights won't lie to you. When you put that second plate on and squat it, or the third plate on and deadlift it, that's something you can either do, or you can't. The fact that you will prove to yourself every time you're in the gym that you can? Well, that's empowering as a motherfucker.
   
   I mean, you can get lucky and make a lot of money. But you can't get lucky and lift a lot of weight. There's only one way that happens. You work for it and you achieve it. Once you conquer your body, it proves to yourself that you can do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
   
   If you have more questions, post them or message me. I'm happy to talk more to you about it.
   
   Now, let Mark Rippetoe teach you how to squat.

No problem on the stalking, haha.

Those are good questions about lifting. I've also done a lot of googling on the topic and come away frustrated. I started about 3.5 years ago, and I train mostly for strength. Overall, I think it's been a good thing for my scoliosis. It can be frustrating - lifting is harder when you don't have a straight spine supporting the weight. I've been able to get decently strong and continue to make progress, though (495x1 deadlift, 335x5 squat, and 210ish bench). All my lifts continue to go up each week, although I have had injuries and tweaks along the way. I can't say if it's due to my scoliosis or not, so I just deal with them and keep training.

I think the way scoliosis will impact lifting will be a little different for everyone since everyone's curves are unique. For the most part, I can perform the lifts with minimal modifications. Bench is hard for me because my right shoulder comes out at a weight angle due to my thoracic curve, but I'm still able to get stronger.

I think lifting has made my curves less noticeable, but it's really hard to say. Ultimately, a body with muscle on it is going to look better than one without, and being stronger is going to be better than being weaker. I do struggle with body image issues with the scoliosis from time to time, and lifting has been very helpful for that. I have a lot more confidence, both from having muscle and from knowing that I'm stronger than most other guys walking around on the street.

Are you familiar with the Starting Strength program? I would highly recommend that program. It's a basic barbell program, and it's the most effective way to get stronger. There's a large community on the starting strength forums, which is a great place to ask for advice and post form checks. There are a lot of things grouped under "Starting Strength": "the program" I just mentioned, the methods of executing the lifts, weekend seminars put on by Mark Rippetoe, a coaching certification, an app, an online coaching service, and a series of books. Sometimes starting strength gets flack from bros online, but I would ignore that. Just go to the forums and look at people's training logs - you'll see some big numbers achieved relatively quickly.

The 2 big things for success in the gym are proper form and adhering to a program without giving up or adding stuff to it. For form, the best thing you can do is find an "SSC" (Starting Strength Coach) near you and schedule a training session. They'll teach you how to perform the lifts safely in accordance with the SS model, along with any modifications you might need to make due to your scoliosis. For example, with a lumbar curve, you may have an effective leg length discrepancy and need to shim one of your shoes. They'll be able to tell you that. They'll also be able to help you get started on the novice program.

To find a coach, you can look here: http://startingstrength.org/index.php/site/coaches

Rippetoe himself also puts on seminars, which I mentioned, which you can find a list of here: http://startingstrength.com/coaching/seminars

I also mentioned the starting strength books. The first one to read is "Starting Strength: Basic Barbell Training" (abbreviated as SSBBT). You can get it on amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738. This book covers how to perform the lifts, and briefly talks about the novice program toward the end. The book is very dense, and I wouldn't recommend reading it cover to cover at first. I'd read the "how to" parts for each lift first, then go back and fill in the blanks.

The next book is "Practical Programming for Strength Training" (https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Programming-Strength-Training-Rippetoe/dp/0982522754). This covers how to structure a training program. It goes into more detail on the novice program, then lays out different types of intermediate and advanced programming. This one isn't as essential to order right away - you can find the general novice program here: https://www.t-nation.com/training/most-lifters-are-still-beginners (scroll down to "The Program").

I guess that was a long response. Hopefully this info is helpful for you or anyone in the future who might find this thread. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Depending on your location, I may be able to recommend a coach or gym. I wish I knew all of this when I was your age, so don't hesitate to get in touch.

No problem! Free weights are definitely going to be better than machines for building muscle and improving balance/posture/etc., lots of studies show this. Actually, one of the reasons I started lifting was because osteoporosis runs in my family, and a new study recently came out showing that machines are basically 100% useless in building bone density. There are some machines that can be handy as accessories, but for the most part you'll have better luck with dumbbells and barbells.

HOWEVER, that's kind of beside the point! It sounds like you have two problems.

1. You're intimidated by starting a program or trying new things with the free weights.
   
   
2. Maybe (not sure, but humor me) you don't know what your goals are?
   
   For either of these reasons, you're currently experiencing what we usually call "fuckarounditis," the period of time that you look back on a year or more from now and wish you hadn't wasted, and just gotten started on accomplishing your goals. You'll often see posts saying, "I've been lifting for 8 months, but only seriously for the last 3." Those first 5 months were fuckarounditis, the latter three were productive.
   
   If (1): Check out some of these threads. Read, be inspired, and realize you're brave! You can always practice the moves at home in front of a mirror, and work with dumbbells at first. Nobody's expecting you to go nuts on day one. If you want to try stuff with free weights, find a program, and then start small. You can always start with dumbbells, nobody will think twice about it.
   
   If (2): think about your goals. Not sure? Brainstorm some ideas. Since you're already playing around with the bar a little, and the leg press, I'm assuming you have some strength goals. There are some great strength programs out there, some are listed in the FAQ (read the rest of the faq too if you haven't already, it is aweosme). StrongCurves has a beginner program for aesthetics and strength, Starting Strength is more just strength. StrongLifts is very straightforward, and there's a free phone app you can do that helps you track workouts that's pretty sweet. A lot of people on reddit are doing Ice Cream Fitness (ICF), that is also very straightforward, and people seem to really like it (actually, it honestly looks easier to follow than Starting Strength).
   
   So yeah, take a couple days to read over some of those, and see if there's one that sounds interesting. If you do Strong Curves, buy the Amazon book, or for Starting Strength there's a book, or you can find coughtorrentcough the pdf online. For ICF, StrongLifts, and other programs, if there's any move you don't know how to do, just check a tutorial on youtube or on the bodybuilding.com exercise database, which is a great resource).
   
   Still feeling like you're not ready to take that step? Remember this. ;)

I'm 27, and this is the advice I would give my 17 year old band nerd self (bari sax player here. Yes, I marched bari sax, it was awesome):

It sounds like you go to a big high school. How many girls have you tried to date? As in, how many girls have you actually asked on a date? One? Five? How can you expect to get into relationships if you don't make your romantic intentions clear? My advice is to get used to getting turned down. It's a hard thing to do, but once you desensitize yourself to rejection, dating gets easier. I mean come on, you don't really expect every girl to want to go out with you, do you? Just some. Let me be more specific: Each week, ask at least one cute girl you see for her phone number (or however people message each other nowadays). Preferably a girl you don't already talk to or know well. Look in her eyes with a bright, warm smile, say hi, make small talk, and ask for her number, or to go on a date. Classmates, cashiers, colorguard members, cheerleaders (probably not gonna happen but see the part about getting used to rejection). If she says no, then just smile and say ok. Literally nothing has been lost. Then when you get a phone number, wait a few days, then CALL HER AND ASK HER ON A DATE. Take it from there.

As for the girl who you love. She told you no. Accept her boundaries, dude. Move on. You want something that she doesn't, and trying to persuade her into changing her mind just hurts your self worth. I would strongly advise you not try to contact her in any way again. Wait for her to talk to you... more than once, preferably, before you respond at all. I think you'll find that she won't try to contact you, and that shows what she really wants from you. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who actually likes you.

Finally, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you try to get into a relationship with someone by first hanging around them for a long while, being super kind and doing a bunch of favors for them, and only then bringing up what you've wanted all along. That's deceptive and underhanded because you've hidden your intentions. If you like a girl and want to go on a date with her, and that's the entire reason you're talking to her, a better thing to say would be "Hey, I like you. Want to go on a date?" For now, I advise keeping potential love interests and friends largely separate, when possible. The reason for this is girls are not machines in which you put kindness coins until they magically want to date you. Ask her on a date. If she says yes, great. If she says no, accept that you're probably never going to be in a relationship. Unless you'd really be satisfied with only EVER being friends, don't actively pursue the friendship, because that's not what you really want.

Edit: Other, semi-related advice I would give my 17 year old self: Buy this book, do it with a gym partner, and thank me in a year.

https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738 this should be a staple of every person starting the gym. If you're not much into reading, then check out author's YouTube channel.

Always start with a warm up, rowing machine is generally most efficient for the whole body.

5sets x5reps for strenght and slow size progression. If you want to focus mostly on building muscle fast, then go for classic 4x8 or 3x12 approx 3 times a week, day on, and day off, plus weekend off for stretching/foam rolling or anything else that can improve your recovery process, but that's a bonus.

Your goal is a linear progression, meaning you pick a weight that you can complete 1set of 12 repetitions that will challenge you, but not wreck you, because you still have 2 more sets to do. You want to make sure you fully complete every set, without cheating. If you can't do it, that means there is too much weight on the bar. Leave your ego at the door, and drop the weight.
If you can complete all your sets and all your reps with good form, next time you train, you slightly increase the weight, and that will keep you going. At the beginner stage you don't need any fancy techniques like drops sets, iso holds, rest pasues, etc. So don't worry about all that stuff for another year or even two.

For hypertrophy (muscle pump) you want to keep the rest periods between sets to 90 seconds max. Set the timer or just count your breathes.

You will quickly notice that everyone you ask, will give you a different sort of advice, and claim that their plan is the best.
Don't fall for a shiny object syndrome pick a plan and stick with it for 3 months. Track all your numbers, so you know what works and what doesnt.
Take a before picture so you can compare it to your results.

Read up on the diet, but basic premise is that you need to consume more calories that you burn every day in order to put on weight. Aim for 10-15% more kcal than you need. If after a week you see no difference on the scale increase your kcal intake by another 5%
Aim for 1gram of lean protein for every 1lbs of your body weight daily, and eat carbs mostly around the workout time. Clean bulk is always more efficient than eating a lot of crap and then wasting time to burn off the unwanted fat.
https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1980881408682147&id=119776444792662&set=a.133423386761301 check out other pics in their gallery in terms of visuals of what to eat and not eat.

Make sure you get your 8h if sleep, because that's when the muscle actually grow. In the gym, very often less is more.

Building bigger muscles in oversimplified terms comes down to the time under tension and mechanical damage that muscle is exposed to, so you want to learn how to contract your muscles properly. Resistance bands are a safe and efficient way to do so. Essentially you want to feel the" burn" in the target muscle.

Additionally you can throw in some creatine (dirt cheap) and very efficient. If you're just starting you will notice gains really fast and you can train to the extreme, since your max won't be big enough to truly tax your central nervous system.

The most important thing is to gather some knowledge first, because you can waste a lot of time doing stuff that's doesn't work. If i had a chance to start again i would have found the best looking personal trainer at the gym, or someone who has clients with the desired results and paid him/her to teach me the basics to significantly accelerate my progress.

Remember that good technique builds the strength, but strength doesn't build good technique. And in this case technique refers to safety and efficiency of moving the load from point a to point b.

Get some good music on your playlist and while you keep your final destination in mind, learn to enjoy the process.

That should be enough to get you started.
If you would like to further deepen your knowledge check this https://www.t-nation.com/

Good luck and have fun plus don't forget to update us in your progress ;)

So, everyone telling you to do cardio is wrong. Objectively so, but they're not doing it out of spite or malice... they're doing it because they don't know any better either. They did what they did, and for a lot of them it was good enough, but the real question is... was it the best and most efficient thing to do? "Cardio," as it's commonly referred to, is really slow, steady-state aerobic training or exercise. It is absolutely not going to help you for two main reasons: 1) You are overweight and deconditioned and 2) you are going into a job where being able to run 10+ miles is NOT a significant factor. Being able to move quickly, hand-to-hand, load bearing equipment/duty load, carrying or moving heavy objects or people, movement to contact runs, getting into various positions, shooting, moving yourself through a three dimensional environment, etc. ARE all tasks you face.

​

So what should you do about it? Well, to start off you should get strong. As strong as you can, and do so while eating enough to maintain your training (but NOT enough that you don't slowly lose a LITTLE body fat). Body composition, not body weight, is important. The BMI index is garbage past people who never do anything physical and use their diet to manage their body fat. They're the mopeds of the metabolic world. You don't want to be a moped... you want to be a fighter jet. Not only will the ability to produce force help you across damn near every single job task you have to do (including helping keep your back/joints from being beat to shit before you're 30), but it is the adaptation that takes the longest to attain with the most dedication of energy and resources (time, food, rest). Once you get strong, and as you approach your academy date (2-3 months out), start to titrate in your conditioning load to your strength training. You should focus most on HIIT for your conditioning, as this will be the most effective use of your time. The majority of adaptation for conditioning happens at the cellular level, so you will probably be in tremendously good condition for any law enforcement or military physical fitness test in 8-10 weeks. The strength you gained ahead of time will allow you to run faster, bear more load, subdue people more easily, control situations by physical presence and confidence and will also assist your conditioning work as an important component of endurance.

​

I hope you take my recommendation seriously. If you would like explanations, examples, studies, etc. I can provide them, but know that while I do not have law enforcement experience I did spend a LOT of time in the Marine Corps working for a particular community. I know that strength works, and I know that HIIT conditioning works. Mostly because I did it every possible way you could think of, and in retrospect I would throw every other thing I ever did out the window and strength training with conditioning as a supplemental. Strength served me best, in every capacity, through multiple deployments to Afghanistan as a Marine and civilian contractor, on fitness tests, on the range/shoot house/MOUT town, etc. If you're ready to stop exercising, stop wasting your time and energy, and start training... I recommend you start here. I am also training to apply for FLEO, so if you would like an accountability partner let me know. I cannot mentor you with police stuff, but I do have friends in law enforcement who do everything from large SWAT teams to CSI to FBI Special Agent.

​

Edit: I screwed up some words.

Good for you man. The classic lifts are a ton of fun! Here are some thoughts that you'll hopefully find helpful.

1. With those weights you are strong enough and skilled enough on the slow lifts to get into weight lifting. Go for it!
   
   
2. The classic lifts are very nuanced and technical. A bench press or a squat can be learned to proficiency in ~30 minutes. The classic lifts take weeks to become competent and years to master. You'll have to do a lot of technique training before your O lifts catch up with your slow lifts. This isn't meant to discourage you but to give you some idea of what to expect. Don't worry that you won't be playing with big weights for a while.
   
   
3. I highly recommend this book. It is long but very worthwhile. Buy it, read it, and do the training drills in it. Also, even though your program doesn't end until April, start teaching yourself the movements now (with just the bar). http://www.amazon.com/Olympic-Weightlifting-Complete-Athletes-Coaches/dp/0980011116/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420978850&sr=8-1&keywords=greg+everett
   
   
4. Watch, watch, watch! Remember that part about the lifts being technical? Humans are visual learners. I've spent hours upon hours watching guys from Cal Strength to Olympians on Youtube. Just watching them helps so much in picking up the lifts.
   
   
5. Stretch! Every day! I cannot stress this enough. The classic lifts require more flexibility and range of motion than the slow lifts. They are also more intense on your joints and tendons because of the increased RoM and ballistic nature of the lifts. Stretching is essential for being able to do the lifts and keeping yourself injury free.
   
   
6. Switch to squatting high bar and going deep into the hole (if you don't already). Also, build up your front squat. Your legs will already have the strength needed but there is musculature in your shoulders and back that the back squat has neglected and that you need to build up in order to front squat heavy loads.
   
   
7. Find good resources for help. You don't need a coach to teach the lifts. But it does help to have access to good information and some people in "the know." Catalyst Athletics is a great site that is full of useful information (http://www.catalystathletics.com/). /r/weightlifting is also a good place to hang. Make friends with people that know what they're doing. Also, watch out for all of the advice from crossfitters out there. Some of it is good, some is bad, and most isn't up to par with the guys training for O lifts exclusively (i.e. Everett and Catalyst).
   
   
8. If you don't have them already, buy oly shoes. They are a gift from the gods. I personally use AdiPowers. A little expensive but well worth the cost imo.
   
   
9. Hook grip is necessary for the clean and the snatch. Start using it. When you first start to use it it will be extremely painful. Your thumbs will feel like they're being smashed and pulled out of your hand simultaneously. Don't worry though, that will go away in a week or two. Just keep using hook grip for all of your pulling exercises.
   
   Best of luck mate!

Personal trainers don't need to know what they are talking about.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_trainer#United_States
>A number of certifications are available in the U.S., although a number are not accredited. Most require a high school diploma, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and automated external defibrillator (AED) certification, and some type of examination.[6]
A 2002 investigation evaluated a random sample of 115 personal trainers using the Fitness Instructors Knowledge Assessment (FIKA) (which measures knowledge in nutrition, health screening, testing protocols, exercise prescription, and special populations). The study described that:[14][15]
>
70% of those surveyed did not have a degree in any field related to exercise science.
Those who did not have a bachelor's degree in an exercise science-related field scored 31% less on average than those with a bachelor's degree or higher in the field.
Those holding one of two specific certifications (the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) or the National Strength and Conditioning Association (NSCA) certification) scored 83% of the questions correctly on average. Those holding any certification other than ACSM or NSCA answered only 38% of the questions correctly.
Years of experience was not found to be predictive of personal trainer knowledge.

With that said - if I were a personal trainer I would discourage people from doing barbell work, to at least emphasize they need some study. Probably some liability if someone hurts themselves, and some people are morons. At any rate take what trainers say with a lot of salt.

I gained about 15 pounds in a year doing a simple beginner program 3 times a week. This was not at all the center of my life - working and going to school for CS at the same time. I did spend quite a bit of time studying how to do the exercises correctly. With a beginner program, you will start with very low weight (which increases fast) in order to get to practice the exercises.

Focusing on learning how to do the exercises, and going regularly is probably the most important thing to build strength. Plan for the long-term, this is extremely extremely important. Your purpose at first is:

1) to go to learn how to do the exercises well,

2) to go religiously.


Doing these two things are what you reward yourself with the sense of "job well done" for. You will lose strength depressingly fast by not going regularly. 3 times a week for 30 min to an hour is not a big deal.

You can build significant strength without bulking/bodybuilding. Having a lot of strength will make bodybuilding/bulking easier. This is mostly to keep in mind for later, when it is time to shift to an intermediate program.


Stronglifts 5x5 is listed on here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/wiki/getting_started#wiki_adding_exercise

Stronglifts has been very successful for a lot of people, and gets a lot good credit. The program is extremely simple so you do not have to waste time thinking of what to do. The phone apps by the author are exceptional. Negative things about the program are generally complaints that it is a beginner program. There will come a point stronglifts will stop producing gains, and it is time to shift programs. When that time comes it will make quite a bit of sense in your body why. Stronglifts is a great beginner program.

I still do it, with some minor alteration, even though I know I need to shift, because it's good enough for now for me. Easy & meditative and the gains still come. Well lifting heavy weights is hard, but easy in the "flowing like water" sense.

Here's an easy to-do list for you which will work:


>1) Go to stronglifts.com, watch his vides on how to do the exercises, and how to do the program.
>
2) Study the exercises!
>
3) Download phone app
>
4) Do your first session at the gym
>
5) Begin reading Starting Strength. Ignore a lot of the dietary advice.
>
6) Watch videos on youtube & continue improving your form.
>
7) Continue going to workouts religiously.
>
8) Start eating for muscle growth.


I have diet listed last here, because in one sense it is the least important. In order to gain weight, you will have to eat a lot. And a couple months into the program you will need to eat well to make noticeable strength gains. But do not worry about this at first. As you go regularly & get good at the lifts (because that is the goal that matters), after a period of time you will see how not eating/sleeping enough makes you weaker.

It will be quite visceral when you get to higher weights, and after months of (going religiously!) experiencing the difference of days when you eat/rest well vs. not, and the iron will grace you with a powerful visceral drive to change your diet. It's like free motivation at that point. When you have been going regularly for months, then the diet becomes extremely important. Don't worry about it much at first. You will make fast gains even with a crappy diet at the start. But damn sure go to the gym when you are feeling weak, that is what will push your understanding of what to eat.

And again - you can gain a lot strength without bulking much, and that strength will help you bulk. So even if you don't bulk for a few months, it is not a loss. Just keep going.


I will add, for a pre/post workout shake, I get pea protein from https://truenutrition.com/veganplant-proteins.aspx . Pea protein has had some studies place it competitively with whey. I mix it with water & juice, and I will add creatine. My perspective is that not eating animal products slows bulking, though that tends to be hearsay here. Who cares when it's the right thing to do though.

Like u/thedignityofstruggle, I've been toying with the idea of starting a fitness collective/cooperative once I've paid off my debts.

r/bodyweightfitness is very good. They have a routine linked in the sidebar.

r/fitness also suggests the 666 bodyweight fitness routine

The most important part of physical fitness is nutrition. Eat more. More calories = more mass. If you're exercising, that mass becomes muscle, if you're not exercising, it becomes fat. And if you want to lose fat, eat less calories while exercising. If you're losing weight, you won't gain much in the way of muscle, but working out will help to preserve what muscle mass you have while dieting. There are calorie calculators you can google to find how much you should be eating based on your level of activity and what goals you have.

Eat healthy. Eat more vegetables and some fruit, make them a part of every meal. You don't have to be a vegan or vegetarian, although there are a lot of health and environmental benefits to a vegan diet, but Americans in particular need to eat more vegetables. If you eat meat, try to make it lean meat and in general, avoid red meat. Google is your friend for finding recipes.

I know you said you want to avoid gyms, but lifting weights is one of the best ways to strengthen muscles. Starting Strength is a routine that I use and it works really well for me. I used to think weight lifting was for big, dumb meatheads until I gave it a try and loved it. I've tried both bodyweight exercise routines and barbell exercise routines and I got much stronger and leaner much more quickly through weight lifting. (But maybe that's just me) Also, weight lifting won't turn you into a giant, muscle-bound ape. The people who look like that are either genetically inclined to gain lots of muscle mass, doping on steroids, or have been working out for years and years with a very strict diet. Regular people like you and me will get strong and put on some muscle, but it won't turn you into Mr. or Ms. Olympia.

r/fitness has much more to choose from in the sidebar for bodyweight and other fitness routines. Regardless of what you decide, the most important part of your workout is the warmup. Warming up before you start your workout prevents injury. Always do it. Warmup is very simple, just do your workout at half intensity. Plan on doing 3 sets of 10 pushups? Do a couple pushups before hand. Plan on running sprints? Jog and do some high-knees before hand. Cooldown by stretching after you've finished your workout to help prevent soreness, stiffness, and probably injuries.

Bicycling, swimming, martial arts, rock climbing, and soccer are all fantastic activities as well. Yoga isn't just for sorority girls either, it's a great way to increase flexibility and strength.

As for not getting hurt while exercising, this may sound weird, but listen to your body. If you feel a weird tweak or pain that doesn't feel like muscle soreness but something else, take a break. When you first start exercising, start slowly and progress your way up gradually to more strenuous activity. Depending on where you're starting, it will take months if not years to get into the level of fitness you want to achieve, so enjoy the journey. The first few days in particular will be difficult as your body gets used to the new work load it's being asked to perform, but it's just temporary. Remember to start slowly and ease into it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do something like this, but a trip this ambitious is a lot more likely to be successful if you work up to it. Yes, people have managed to complete long distance trails before with minimal experience prior to starting out, but I'd say that the odds are probably stacked against you in this case (especially since the Finger Lakes Trail doesn't really have the trail community and support network of more well-known trails like the Appalachian Trail- you can't get a professional gear shake down and purchase new equipment on the FLT 4 days into the trip like you can on the AT). You'd be well-advised to at least do a few weekend shake down trips, and perhaps 1 or 2 longer 4 or 5 day trips prior to attempting the FLT from end to end. The reason for this is that backpacking is a lot of trial and error when you're starting out- figuring out what works for you and what doesn't. You don't want to be 20 miles into a 500 mile hike when you find out that your shoes that felt OK worn around the block give you massive blisters after 5 miles on the trail, that your pack that felt comfortable when worn in your living room is torture after 4 hours on your back, that your stove doesn't work well in certain conditions, that your food isn't giving you the energy you thought it would, that your pack's rain cover is useless in a torrential down pour, so on and so forth. All of these are common issues that beginner backpackers often end up having to address at one point or another.

The Finger Lakes Trail is a good place to start with easier trips, though, because there's a bunch of places you can camp on the trail that are a relatively short hike in from the road (1 or 2 miles or less). If you go to the FLT website, they have an interactive map of the trail that will help you to find campsites and plan your trip. You can also order maps from the website. (I highly recommend at least using the interactive map, taking a screen shot, and then printing it so that you have a physical map with you to use for navigation. Many areas of the FLT don't have good cell reception, so you can't rely on being able to pull up the map on the FLT website if you find yourself turned around in the woods.) Picking a destination to camp at that isn't a very far hike in allows you to build experience without putting yourself outside your comfort zone or ability level. If things get bad enough that you need to bail, having a short hike back to your car makes it easy to do so without much difficulty.

Most of the camping options on the FLT are on NYSDEC State Forest land. Make sure you take the time to familiarize with the DEC's regulations for hiking and camping. Additionally, you should also take the time to read through and understand the Leave No Trace principles. This is really important, as there is a lot more to minimizing our impact in the backcountry as hikers and campers than just carrying our trash out with us.

In terms of hiking the entire FLT in one go, a few things to keep in mind are that the FLT doesn't see a lot of end-to-end hikers (maybe 5-10 in a year), and accordingly doesn't really have the same culture associated with more popular trails like the AT (this may or may not be a consideration important to you). There's also fewer resources for thru-hikers generally along the trail so some careful planning is needed. While most of the trail is complete, there are some lengthy road-walking sections where your feet will be on pavement for the better part of a day at times. There are a number of stretches of the trail on private property that are closed to public access during the spring and fall hunting seasons. And while there are some scenic destinations along the way, the trail predominantly passes through rolling hillsides dotted with farms and state reforestation areas (and much of the later is plantations of spruces, pine, and larch). It does at times drop into hollows with cascading streams and there are some nice waterfalls here and there, but the trail is generally lacking in areas of outstanding scenery (like the whites or the smokies on the AT). Perhaps the best attribute of the FLT are the opportunities for solitude- much of the trail gets relatively little use, and you'll likely be camped alone most nights as a thru-hiker. (I personally greatly enjoy hiking and camping on the FLT for this reason.)

As an alternative to the FLT that would afford a more "traditional" long distance hike (if that's what you desire), I might suggest considering Vermont's Long Trail. The southern half of it coincides with the AT so you'll get to experience part of that community if you time your trip so that you hike with the thru-hiker bubble. And there's quite a few mountain summits across the full length of the Long Trail that provide spectacular views. The Long Trail is substantially more rugged than the FLT, though.

There's a ton of info on backpacking gear and techniques online that can easily be found through some google searches. If you want a book, I highly recommend Colin Fletcher's The Complete Walker IV (you can probably get it at your library through inter-library loan if you don't want to purchase it). The book goes into a great amount of detail about all different kinds of gear, including discussion of the pros and cons of different types/models of equipment.

I hope this is helpful! :)

Understand the reason why you procrastinate. It is not about self control. This article breaks open the one of the biggest underlying reasons why people procrastinate:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html

People procrastinate as a way of regulating their mood. Something about their condition or about the task they are procrastinating is causing them discomfort that they might not even be able to articulate, and procrastinating is a way of dealing with that discomfort in the moment.

One possible way to deal with this (not this specific thing you're procrastinating on, but the big picture) is that you may need counseling or to do other things to help your health to overcome depression or whatever hidden discomfort is causing you to procrastinate. I myself found that when I did not sleep well, I was chronically tired and depressed, but I didn't recognize it, because I masked it with caffeine. Caffeine doesn't give you the missing motivation back. It just keeps you wide awake and not wanting to do the things you need motivation to do. In a lot of cases, insufficient sleep is a major contributor to depression and anxiety.

I fixed my sleep problem to a large extent, using a weighted blanket, sensory deprivation (ear plugs and eye mask when I sleep), black-out curtains, blue-blocker glasses in the evenings, "dark room mode" of Flux (a screen dimming app for MacOS), and red LED light bulbs to light my room at night so I would actually get sleepy. (Now I just need to fix the schedule of my sleep; it's a work in progress.) That really helped.

Exercise also helps address depression, way more than I understood. See the book titled "Spark: the revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain".

When I reduced my depressive symptoms and improved my sleep, I felt a lot less prone to procrastinating.

Another great book on how to improve yourself and overcome things like procrastination is "Atomic Habits". This is a fantastic book. It explains that self transformation and improvement is not about revolutionary changes, but about establishing habits that get you a little bit of improvement but keeps you on a consistent trajectory of improvement. There's a lot of great stuff in there about procrastination.

If you can't seem to read books all the way through (a problem I had), try listening to the audio book while commuting. This has made a huge difference in my life. I actually finish books that I start now that I use audio books.

EDIT—

Of the various things that motivate people, fear only goes so far. After a while, concern over possibly ruining your life won't motivate you. I know this first hand, because I've procrastinated to the point of harming myself, and knowing that harm would come didn't motivate me to act. There is a much more potent set of motivators, and this won't be easy, but you need to find these and figure out how to view your work through these.

The most potent motivators are purpose, passion, and joy. In the grand scheme of your life, you need to find your purpose, develop a passion, and cultivate joy. There's an old parable about three men laying bricks who are asked what they are doing. The first one says "I'm laying bricks". The second says "I'm building a church". The third says "I'm building the house of God." Of these three, who do you think will do his best work and persist when the going gets tough?—The one who sees a grand, transcendant purpose in every brick he lays.

If you can't find a purpose in the task you are doing, step back. Some folks do boring work that is not rewarding in and of itself, but their "why" is their family. That is their purpose, and to provide for their family, they keep on keeping on. If you don't have a family, make a promise to your future self, and make bettering yourself your purpose. And if that won't do, seriously search for other work to do that you can get a sense of purpose from. I've heard of people who weren't responsible, but who got a dog or some other pet that then gave them a purpose, because that pet gave them joy, and they wanted a good life for this pet they loved so much. These are the stories where someone rescues a dog, but really, the dog rescued them just as much as they rescued it. Love makes all the difference here.

Think of something you take delight in, something that brings you joy, and if what you are doing can be thought of in terms of serving and pursuing this thing that brings you joy, the motivation from your delight may be able to help you overcome that heavy unspoken weight of apathy that causes you to procrastinate.

Ha! I was just about to do a very similar post.

Here's a list of things I've figured out over the years (I'm 43), in no particular order, natch. They're not all exactly steps or how to's, some are more things to regularly consider (actions eminate from thoughts).

1. Make lists: I still do paper lists, but using things like evernote, onenote, and keep, are invaluable for capturing ideas and staying organized. Sometimes I don't even need the lists I make, just the act of writing it down or capturing it helps me chill out and refreshes what I need to get done. Or get at the store (crap, forgot catfood again).
   
   
2. Calendar: Having a smartphone is such a huge help, put everything in there, appointments, birthdays, reminders. Practice remembering, and you won't always need it, but it's there if you do. I mean, garbage day is always friday for me, but why don't you guess how many times my phone has gone off Thursday night and I'm like, "oh yea".
   
   
3. Take it easy on yourself: Beating yourself up about forgetting things or spacing out is waste of time, damaging, and flat-out holding you back. I'm not saying be all laissez-faire about it, but don't make your situation worse with a bunch of negativity. I mean, if it worked there wouldn't be any issues, would there? I don't know how many times I've torn myself apart for forgetting something, yet again. It took me a long time to realize that that emotional nonsense was actually making it harder to accomplish what I was trying to do. Be nice to yourself.
   
   
4. Refocus: Every so often bring yourself back to the Here and Now, check the time, clear your mind, ask yourself "what am I thinking about" "what am I doing". This is one of the most useful things I've ever figured out how to do. Inner space is infinite and not always pleasant, if you'e got an active and vivid imagination it's not too hard to end up more than a couple dimensions over from reality. Developing the ability to slip out of the flow is a huge help for course corrections. It's not easy, but it's awesome. The benifits of mindfulness meditation are legion. Like while writing this post, I've snapped myself out of revery several times and gotten back to my paying job. See #3 above!
   
   
5. Double, Triple check: When you hear or read something, ask yourself, did that stick? It might feel like the info landed, but did it? Repeat your understanding back to the person your talking to, or ask yourself what it was you just read. I do this all the time at work, after a conversation or meeting I'll quickly go over my understanding to make sure it's clear (often with the aid of notes). "So RTM has slipped another 2 weeks which puts it behind the hotfix. We need to drop our current pass and spin up hotfix testing." Or "Wait a sec, before I go all the way to the lab, do I remember what rack that was in?"
   
   
6. Exercise: The benefits from 20 minutes of cardio every day are redonkulous. Check out Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain for the details, science, and some inspirational stories. It was written by phsychiatrist John J. Ratey, one of the authors of "Driven to Distraction'. Seriously, getting a run in for me is such good medicine, it clears the head, and destresses me. If I get off my ass and get a workout in first thing, I am on for the day.
   
   
7. Nutrition: We all know this one. What you put in your body affects your chemistry. Not just what, but when as well. There's a lot of ADHD management programs out there that focus on nutrition, avoiding certian foods, increasing others, taking supplements. Stack the deck in your favor. If I don't keep myself fed and get too hungry (anyone else forget to eat?), I get pretty useless and cranky until I gnosh.
   
   
8. Watch your manners: I don't know what else to say about this. "It's 11pm, should I really call my buddy?" "Oooh, I saw the movie they're talking about, should I go over what I thought of it?" "Why is this guy taking so long to get to his point, I get it. Should I tell him where he's going?" "I really really want to ask her a question, should I ask now?" Paying attention to manners can avoid and relive SOOO many issues. I've found asking and apologizing works very well. "Excuse me, sorry to bug you, but..." "I'm sorry to intrude, I had some questions, is this a good time?" "I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you just said." I've found that even if you are spacing out or barging in, if you own that fact and mention it, people really appreciate it. Like after I hear my name for the 3rd? time, "Yes! Sorry, I was really into that. Whats up?" Just imagine someone doing what you do, to you. Good god, it's worth it.
   
   
9. Organize, Routine, schedule, Habit (structure): It's much easier to find things if there's a known place for them, and it's much easier to go about the day if it's already more or less planned out. Study at a certian time, do laundry on a certian day, keep the tools in a toolbox in a certian place. (Shower, pills, breakfast, shower, pills, breakfast, shower pills, breakfast) Build up useful habits, if you make things a habit, you don't need to remember. Put your keys in the same place everytime (my wallet and keys never leave my pocket, my phones in only a couple places). It's a bitch to get started, but don't give up and it'll stick. My wife is always losing her keys, coat, purse, glasses, and I'm like, "just put them in the same place", and she's like, "I'm not like you!" ORLY? :P "Maybe your not as bad but it just works for everyone". Try something, anything, because if you don't, it WILL just be chaos.
   
   
10. Follow through: If you start something, finish it. If you say it, do it. Making myself follow through on projects I've started, but have lost interest in, has really tempered my tendancy to just jump in, and there's an extra sense of accomplishment when it's just done. I grew up in a very flakey family, my step-dad would leave me stranded for hours after basketball practice (this was in the late 80's noone had cell phones), or make grandiose, exciting plans only to completely flake or make excuses. So for me, being on time or meeting a commitment I made to someone comes pretty easily.

/r/fitness: newbie program picker -> Fat Loss -> More than 10kg/25lbs:

Use a calculator such as this one to get an estimation of how many calories you should be consuming daily. Increase the amount of vegetables you consume (potatoes don't count :) ) because fiber helps in giving a feeling of fullness. Increasing your protein intake (via either consuming more meat or simply drinking whey protein shakes ) will both boost muscle gain and provide a longer-lasting feeling of fullness than carbs will.

Take weekly photographs of yourself, preferably in underwear/shorts so that you can see your belly, thighs and arms. If you're gaining muscle while losing fat, the weight on the scale may change less than you expect, but the mirror doesn't lie. Recording everything you eat will also make you more conscious about your intake and definitely helps in weight loss.

The thing that's really going to make or break your success is how well you focus and stick to your diet. Many people have successfully lost large amounts of fat by switching to a low carb diet. Keep in mind that this may not be the most suitable diet for everyone, but by far the majority of the population should see positive results.

For best results, you should combine this program with some form of exercise. The best form of exercise is the one that you enjoy doing. Whether it's weightlifting, running, swimming, mountain climbing, football, or throwing a frisbee around with friends, anything that gets your heart rate up for an hour or two will be beneficial.

Keep in mind that sustaining a caloric deficit can lead to loss of muscle mass as well, which is usually a Bad Thing. To avoid this, it is usually recommended to do some form of strength training atleast 2-3 times per week. Check out the muscle gain section of the Program Picker for more info regarding strength training programs.

Remember, the exercise will help, but the factor that will decide your fat loss is your diet. If you feel you're too heavy to do bodyweight exercises or anything inside a gym without hurting your joints, you can just go for a pleasant 30-45 minute walk daily while strictly controlling your diet, and you'll have to buy a new, smaller set of clothes soon. Once you reach a weight where you feel comfortable about doing some more strenuous exercise, check out the program picker again.

tl;dr: Eat vegies and protein at a caloric deficit. Take progress pics. Do a form of cardio you enjoy. Lift to maintain muscle, buy the Starting Strength book and get lifting. Become Swole.

Wow, you have done a fantastic job so far! Your progress is really inspiring and you have accomplished something that a lot of people never manage to do. Congrats and keep up the great work.

When you first begin strength training, you may be able to build a little muscle while you continue to cut (although it will taper and eventually stall as you continue to lose weight). You should also be able to gain a good amount of strength just by virtue of practicing big lifts, learning to use your body's leverages to your advantage, improved neural efficiency, etc. Getting stronger isn't just about getting big muscles: it's a skill.

My recommendation would be to try something like SS, SL, or Greyskull LP. Regardless of what you do, I also highly recommend going online and actually BUYING SS: http://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-3rd-Mark-Rippetoe/dp/0982522738. A lot of people just use the Wiki but, honestly, the Starting Strength book is a really easy to read and information-dense introduction to barbell training and it will explain most of what you need to know for your first several months of training and beyond (it covers technique, basic beginner programming/how strength adaptations work, accessories/how to use them and incorporate them into a routine, and much more). Also, if you do Greyskull, there is also a book for that program as well: http://www.amazon.com/Greyskull-LP-Second-John-Sheaffer/dp/0615635571/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1407938754&sr=1-1&keywords=greyskull

Whatever you do, I cannot stress enough: GET THE BOOKS AND READ THEM. Knowledge is power and it will make you a lot more confident about what you are doing when you have something to reference. Reading Starting Strength was one of the most important early steps I ever took to jump start my strength training. I can't stress enough how helpful it was to getting me stronger and staying relatively injury free.

Good luck!

Also sober 3 years. I'm pretty sure 98% of recovering alcoholics are all or nothing people...we struggle with moderation in so many things.

I hate counting calories. Its just another goddamn thing to frustrate me. A few months ago I decided I'd focus on getting stronger rather than lighter. I spent the first month lifting weights 3 times a week but not eating healthy. Fuck it, pizza? Sounds good. Burgers? Yep!

I followed a plan called StrongLifts 5X5. You start off low weight and add 5lbs per workout. Before I knew it, I had some muscle under my flab. Then I started realizing I wanted to SEE those muscles. At that point I started taking my diet more seriously. I learned a lot about how to train and use my food to support that training. I'm not all the way there, but I like the results so far.

I have gotten numerous compliments from coworkers, women have started flirting with me a little, my girlfriend has been VERY happy with the changes AND I have a ton of energy to play with my kids. I also dropped 25lbs and got some definition in my arms and legs. For me, Lifting weights>losing weight

I also incorporate at least one hot yoga class into my routine. The yoga is great for mindfulness (which has been mentioned in other comments). You are stuck in a hot room, sweating your ass off, standing in strange positions and its hard for anything else to invade your thoughts. Even an hour of clear thought is super beneficial. My girlfriend does 2-3 a week, she loves it.

I know a lot of women think that weight training will make you bulky, but its all about choosing what you want. You can hit the weights and keep a slim female figure. I have read some really great things about [Strong Curves] (https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Curves-Womans-Building-Better/dp/1936608642) and Lift like a Man Look Like a Goddess ( Book Link).

If counting calories doesn't make you happy just try something new. Find a healthy thing that makes you feel good and do THAT thing, then do that and try add another healthy thing. See what sticks and focus on that.

You got this!

Sorry for the wall of text! Sobriety and exercise are 2 VERY important things in my life and I love talking about them.

Skinny-fat is a term for people who are naturally thin so they don't really focus on working out. They aren't overweight, but they have no muscle tone and not much endurance. It's hard because skinny fat people have basically been giving a "pass" from having to watch what they eat or exercise all the time because they don't have physical looks as a motivator. While health and overall enjoyment of life can be a great motivator, they are more abstract and long term benefits rather than the tangible "I lost 5 pounds" goals, so it is difficult to get skinny fat people to start working out.

/u/bungsana, my only advice would be to start complimenting her when she works out, tell her how sexy she looks when she's all sweaty, when she puts on workout clothes tell her how hot she looks in them, etc. Just be positive and supportive and let her know how psyched you are that you guys get to share this together.

Maybe see if there is a female trainer she could go to for a bit. A lot of women can be intimidated by weightlifting, and in the intro to New Rules of Lifting for Women it talks about how women tend to be more focused on proper technique while men are willing to just jump into it. I know I am like that and don't feel comfortable trying a move until I feel like I know exactly how to. Getting her a trainer for a bit might get her comfortable. And sometimes its nice for that person to be a stranger and not your husband who is correcting you.

Find some physical activities that you both like, but also let her explore her own relationship to working out and getting physically fit. She may be more inclined towards classes and things that have a social nature. She may feel like weight lifting will get her "bulky". Start her off on other things and just work on her getting into the mindset that being active and exercising is a necessary part of her schedule. Once that habit is formed, then possibly focus on what type of exercise is best.


good luck! I am a skinny fat myself and it's hard. My increased health and energy definitely help me keep going, but sometimes it's hard when I know I could stop all exercise and still fit into all my clothes no problem.

Regardless of goals, and based on your comment below about being a fast reader, track down a copy of Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength (link below). Sure if you dont want to spend the cash you can find a pdf somewhere, but you can get a kindle version for $10 and its valuable.

It will help you work out some basics and understanding of weigh training. As a beginner I wouldn't recommend anything like 5/3/1, there isnt enough progression. You need a program with workout to workout or week to week linear progression. Your adaptation cycle will still be so short, so make the most of your time in the gym.

https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738

Starting Strength 3x5 workout, or StrongLifts 5x5 will be a great starting place. The routines look boring / few exercises, but trust them. They are all you need at the moment. You will get stronger and bigger, but as a beginner you need to build up a good foundation.


Supplements arent as critical as a good diet. They "Supplement it" (funny that eh?). You need to be eating a solid calorific excess, but dont go to town. Get an app like "My fitness Pal" and enter your body weight, target body weight, and it will help you to calculate your required calorific intake.

Supplements:
Protein powder. 1.7-2g pf protein / kg of body weight daily. always.
Creatine 5g / day every day. one of the best backed supplements.
Pre-workout - only if you need it. Something with stims is helpful if you work out in the morning or feel lethargic, but the benefit is marginal, mostly psychological.

Be careful on your assumptions on Roids. I know some guys on riods, and some natty guys are just as big. Genetics play a big part in it. Dont sweat it. If you go into the area, no one will look down on you. They werent born big. They started at some stage too. They know it, and to be honest, they will be more impressed by you going into the free weights and lifting, more than if you kept to the machines.

I can give some perspective as a long time cyclist and more recent lifter who then had an ACL injury (not weightlifting related). First off just because you were a strong runner (or in my case cyclist) won't make you automatically good at squats/deadlifts. It'll give you a bit of a head start since you'll have some leg muscles to work with but squats use some different muscles and it used them in a different manner. Lifting heavy causes different muscle adaptations and is a skill in its own right.

As to what strength progress you should be able to see… That's hard to say since you don't have pre-injury totals to look at. Leg press is a good quad exercise but doesn't have a lot of carryover to squats. Most people can leg press more than they can squat but there is no set percentage ratio since training in leg press is different than training in squats.

Personally I was able to get back to my pre-injury squat weight at 6 months. I feel I could have lifted more earlier but I was being extra careful. I'm currently at 10 months and lifting more than I was pre-injury. I'm not dropping my lifting stats as it's meaningless to compare mine to yours since you are new to lifting.

Basically with your inexperience, the only numbers I think you can use as reference are to untrained/novice lifters. That said you are not even a typical untrained lifter since you are recovering from a major injury. The Symmetric Strength Strength Standards can give you some insight but there is no gold standard. So take a look at those and use them as something to aim for, but also don't get upset that you aren't anywhere near novice yet.

With a good program, dedication, and enough protein and calories, you likely should be able to hit novice levels in a 2-3 months. Since you have an injury you are recovering from then it will likely take a little longer, depending on how much you are still limited by your injury. You should of course focus on good form and making sure you don't compensate. Also be make sure to include single leg work as your muscles are likely still imbalanced: Bulgarian split squats, lunges, single leg deadlifts, calf raises, etc..

In general, I think it's really good that you are adding in strength training. One of the best ways to protect that knee from further damage and osteoarthritis is to build up and maintain the muscles that support your leg. IMHO it is important to be stronger than you were before the surgery in order to support that knee.

BTW, if you don't have a program look into Starting Strength and/or Phrak's Greyskull LP. The r/fitness sub has a good overview of programs. They have a big bug up their ass against Starting Strength but honestly while Phrak's has some advantages, SS is a decent place to start and has worked for many lifters. The Starting Strength book is also in my opinion a must read for how well it explains how to execute the main lifts. The r/startingstrength subreddit is a good place to post form checks if you don't have someone to help spot your form. Rippitoe's nutrition advice in the book leaves much to be desired but that's a different topic.

thank you and of course! i was a cardio bunny for years, often sinking an hour on the elliptical 5 or 6 days a week, and was really unsatisfied with my overall appearance. so i started strength training last fall, using dumbbells at home, and was both excited and encouraged by my results to get more serious about it!

more specifically, i've been on bret contreras r/strongcurves program for about 8 weeks. i highly recommend the book, which you can buy on amazon. the first 3 weeks i used the "best butt" at-home bodyweight program, then decided to switch to the "bootiful beginnings" program, which requires weights, once i felt i had a better understanding of movements, muscle activation, and incorporating more equipment. i am beyond thrilled with the results i'm seeing so far, which include growth in my glutes, hams, quads, and arms as well as an overall "tightening up" everywhere else, so i look much leaner.

i mentioned this in another comment, but something i didn't understand at the beginning of my health journey is that our overall body shape and appearance of fitness has so much more to do with body composition than weight. my figure was much more soft and round the first time i hit 132 pounds because i had no underlying muscle and was "skinny fat" with high body fat percentage, but low overall weight. even though my weight is the same on the scale today, i have more lean, muscle mass than squishy, fat mass. if you want to learn more, you can find a wealth of wonderful information about body composition and recompositioning here on reddit in r/fitness and r/xxfitness, but i'm happy to answer any other questions you have and share any additional anecdotal experience!

p.s. supergirl was totally my hero as a child, but as an adult i definitely identify with and aspire to more like catwoman: a powerful and empowered woman who is capable, confident, and content with herself just as she is! i honestly enjoyed wearing catwoman more because i feel like it really showcased my progress and physique and almost nothing beats the feeling you get when heads turn the instant you walk in a room!

There is a book https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Curves-Womans-Building-Better/dp/1936608642
It's $9.99 for the kindle version (the kindle app is free for smart phones). I've never read it but I've heard great things.


But there's also a whole subreddit ( https://m.reddit.com/r/StrongCurves )and lots of info online. Check this out here_are_the_correct_strong_curves_workouts_in


As far as diet, if you eat whatever you want you will still see results but it may hold you back a bit. Honestly, you're young and you can still get away with a relaxed diet...so I wouldn't sweat it too much until you're ready to. I played sports in college and ate whatever I wanted and looked great. I miss those days. But at 21 I really got into lifting, decided to clean up my diet, and I took my physique to a level I didn't know I was capable with. Maybe focus on eating meals with lean protein and fresh food for the most part if you want to fuel your body a little better but still live a little, especially while you've got the metabolism. Often times working out motivates you to want to eat better.

If you were ever interested in tracking your nutrition a little better you can download an app like My Fitness Pal (free) to see how much your eating as well as an estimation of how much you should be eating. You can plug in your stats and it'll give you an estimate.

So in short, you don't necessarily need to change your current diet but it will definitely help you with your goals. Proper nutrition will not only improve your physique, but also your performance, recovery, and overall health. As they often say "you can't outrun a bad diet".

Books I've read and/or am reading.

1. Bigger Leaner Stronger ^link Basically a book version of the /r/fitness wiki plus a good variation on 5-rep workouts, which I made solid gains. Took my bench from 245 to 315 in 7ish months on this program alone.
   
2. Destroy the Opposition ^link Slightly different take on powerlifting training. Jamie Lewis is a bit crude, but it's an interesting read. I did not try out his program at the end of the book, but I enjoyed the read. The tl;dr is "use lots of volume and find the form that fits your body".
   
3. NASM Essentials of Personal Fitness Training ^link Just started reading this now, looks promising. Basically a good resource on building a program if you plan on being self-coached. It's based on starting from scratch, so it might not be 100% relevant. Get the previous edition (linked) used to save some money. I found one in good condition online for like $10 on ebay, but they're like $12-15 on Amazon and other bookseller websites.
   
4. Strength Training Anatomy ^link It's useful as an extra guide for perfecting form and optimizing stretching.
   
5. Starting Strength ^link I'm a little hesitant to recommend this, because while it did get me going and making some good early gains, I've had to correct my squat and deadlift form a lot. However, my bench form is pretty decent coming out of this so it's a bit of a toss-up. If you can get it used/cheap, it might be worth reading.
   
   If you're going into a 5/3/1 program, Jim Wendler has books on that. Most programs have a good write-up somewhere so try and read the rhyme and reason behind what you're doing, as well as investigating the core concepts if they're not explained well (linear progression, progressive overload, and periodization are all concepts that most programs are based around. PM me if you have any other questions.

Hey bro/sis,

I will give the same advice to men and women here. Get a weight lifting program and some podcasts.

Why podcasts? It will help you get motivated to learn while you lift. Get some TWIT.TV podcasts, maybe a history podcast (The Thomas Jefferson Hour, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History), and something funny or political (The Joe Rogan Experience, No Agenda Show).

Why weight lifting? For guys, you will get big and feel good. For women you will get tone and your butt will look great. Why the difference? That magical chemical called Testosterone. Guys have it and get big, girls don't have it (at least not so much) so they don't get as big.

If you get a complete program, make it simple with big lifts, Squats, Deadlifts, Cleans, Overhead Press, and Bench. DO not get a complicated workout plan from a magazine, they are mostly just filler and worthless, except for those people that are genetically gifted with short recovery times and have hours to workout at the gym.

I went from a 135lb squat to a 235lb squat (3x5) in about two months. It took me another month to get to 260lbs. I feel super great, I enjoy physical activities a lot more, and feel way more confident.

How do you get started?

I used a program called Starting Strength, it's very effective. There are a lot of other exercise programs you can try (Google: Mad Cow, 5x5, or 5/3/1). But Starting Strength is extremely simple and effective. Most of the other big and simple programs are based from Starting Strength.

The biggest change for me was having a predetermined plan, "I am going to start lighter than I think I should, and add 5lbs every time I do this lift." I had a workout notebook and a spreadsheet, this is where I want to be today, this is where I was last week.

Starting Strength Caveats

1. Learn your lifts! The Starting Strength book does this from a bio-mechanical standpoint. (I mean 60 pages on the bench press, pretty valuable information)
   
2. START LIGHT, you will work into the weight, don't worry about it, leave your ego at the door.
   
3. If you are overweight, do not follow the diet plans. Hit a protein shake once after your work out.
   
4. If you hit a plateau it's probably your diet, add another protein shake on your off days. [If it happens again a second week] drop back a week.
   
   Resources
   
   Starting Strength Calculator
   
   Starting Strength Book
   
   
   I've since moved onto a "lighter" program, Jim Wendler's 5/3/1, it gives me more time to pursue jiujitsu and cardio. When you are ready to move on, look at sports specific exercises, bent over rows for a bow draw, and the stair master for hiking.
   
   EDIT
   
   Seriously check out Yoga for Regular Guys as well. It's a very simple non-bullshity yoga routine. It will help with mobility issues and it's a good low-space cardio routine.
   
   EDIT2
   
   Great advice below:
   
   Reasons to meditate from iamadogforreal
   
   
   

First, I'd advise against big changes quickly. Changes should either be big or quick, otherwise they tend not to stick. Your mileage may vary, though; you know yourself best.

Second, most of the info you want is in the FAQ, but I agree that it isn't terrifically well-organised.

• How many calories: Here is a calculator for your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE). Some of the info you provide to it is required, some is optional. The more info it has, the better. It'll also help you figure out how much you should be eating to reach your body recomposition goals.
  
  
• As to your meals, this can be a very contentious topic. My PERSONAL advice is to hop over to /r/paleo and ask around there. I dislike starchy foods like grains and legumes (beans, peanuts, lentils) because they put your body in a fat-gain mode, and the "paleo diet" concept eliminates those types of foods. If you want to go even MORE extreme, go for /r/keto, but you seem like you don't need to go that far.
  
  
• Workouts. Well, there are a bunch of good schemes out there, but if you're basically healthy and have access to a full gym with a squat rack and barbells, Starting Strength is a good one. It goes into GREAT detail about how to do the lifts, both without a spotter and without a trainer. If you don't have access to a full gym, I suggest you go ask around at /r/bodyweightfitness.
  
  
• What are your goals, with respect to flexibility? I ask because too much flexibility can actually be a bad thing. If you want to do Yoga because Yoga, great, carry on. But if you want to do it solely for flexibility, then let's step back a moment and figure out what, specifically, you want in terms of flexibility.
  
  Yes, I am a dude. I post here because I get to talk about fitness without too much risk of a Wild Troll appearing and saying "U R T3H GH3Y F4GG0T!," and I learn a lot about women.

Looks like you've already gotten some good advice, but I have a little more to add on a few of your items.

Sugar Scrub recipes? / How to remove dry skin? / How to eliminate the Red Bump Syndrome after shaving? Just get a Salux cloth and exfoliate with that (plus a little body wash) in the shower. It is MAGIC for exfoliation! I used to get the red bumps pretty bad but now I just exfoliate before shaving and I have no problems. Also, replace the blades in your razor when they start to get dull.

Ways to cure acne? This varies from person to person, but /r/SkincareAddiction is AMAZING. I wash with Cerave foaming cleanser, use their PM moisturizer (plus sunscreen during the day), make sure to wash my face AFTER brushing my teeth, and avoid touching my face much. This prevents a lot of zits for me. The ones I do get are poked with a clean lancet after washing my face and then covered with a hydrocolloid bandage.

How to whiten my smile? / bleach my hair? I saw you mention you have issues with pool chlorine--as a chemist, I feel I should inform you that commercial teeth whitening strips contain carbamate peroxide as the whitening agent and not chlorine bleach (NaClO). Similarly, bleach meant for hair is also peroxide-based. Big difference! Might want to see if they work for you, since they don't contain the chemical that was causing you problems.

Nail Care Tips THESE VITAMINS ARE MAGIC. My nails get pretty long without breaking now, and I'm really rough on my hands. They taste like candy, too. Should also be good for hair and skin!

Exercise routines...? Go learn how to lift heavy things properly. Seriously. New Rules of Lifting for Women is not a bad starting point for a total beginner. Heavy lifting has given me loads of confidence, kickass thighs, an awesome butt, and even visible abs at one point. Lifting will build muscle, which provides a nice frame even if you have extra bodyfat...how much bodyfat you carry also depends on your diet, which /r/xxfitness can help you figure out. Once you figure out what works for you, sustainably, diet and activity-wise, you actually have a great deal of control over how your body looks. (It turns out I like chocolate more than I like seeing my abs most of the time, but if I miss them and I want them visible for a while, I now know that about 1800-2000 cal/day with a high training volume will do that.) Endless cardio is not necessary if you are like me and you hate running...I only do naked cardio :D Do find an activity you love and will stick with, and make sure you get enough sleep. Don't cut calories to 1200/day and run yourself to death, it will screw up your metabolism for years and make it way harder to lean out.

Good ways to stop Cramps, or at least help make them lighter and less painful. If they're debilitating, see your gynecologist--a medical condition could be the problem. As an endometriosis sufferer, I'm on a Pill that's designed to give only four periods a year, but I take it continuously, so I don't have periods at all. That's not for everyone, but it does help a lot to start taking ibuprofen a week before your period and continue taking it (at the recommended interval, something like every 6 hours I think) until the cramping stops. Also, invest in a good heating pad. They work very, very well.

On weight gain - this part is actually easier than you think. I've been a skinny dude for 26 good years, wondering why I could never gain weight despite years of consistent effort in the gym, then put on 45 good pounds last offseason. Get yourself on a good weight training program that focuses on basic compound lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press, overhead press), as well as a power movement (power clean or power snatch).

If you're willing to put in the time, read Starting Strength, which is the book that turned me around. 1000% would recommend. This book has the Starting Strength program, too, which has exactly the parameters I discussed above. Stronglifts 5x5 is pretty good too.

Most importantly, you need to eat a fuck load while you're doing this. Lots of protien (1g/pound of body weight). Keep track of this in a calorie counter (MyFitnessPal is good), and make sure you're gaining on average 1 pound per week (will be more at the start). Be consistent with your work and diet all through your offseason, and it will come.

On tackling - My first couple seasons, I played wing, and was terribly shitty at tackling. I spent a year in the pack, which almost got me there (now full time second row!). Once I put on the weight, my confidence in contact soared and I had no problems making tackles. I even played a game or two back on the wing and still made tackles out there, too. The key thing, I found, was mentally training myself to get low enough. As a tall fella, it's hard for me to get low in tackles... I always knew I needed to get low, but could never actually do it in games. I use a mental cue now to get low - it can really only get me to about hip/waist level, but I have enough leverage in my height that it's good enough for me. Deadlifting will help you a bit in recognizing this motor pattern.

Also, this video really helped me visualize the tackling technique within the context of a game (posted on this sub a few months ago). It's football, but the technique discussed is much more like rugby tackling, rather than typical unsafe gridion type of head charges.

The only disadvantage from it all is nobody can lift me in lineouts anymore :) I lift now, which is great for me, since I sucked at jumping anyway.

Good luck - Lift hard, eat big, and tackle strong. I've been in your almost-exact same situation.

Edit: Just wanted to reiterate a point I noticed in /u/GaryDo's post. Don't forget that size and strength are only a couple of tools inside of your rugby player bag. Important tools if used well, for sure, but there are many other skills that make a great player. You'll need fitness, contact technique, agility, game sense, and all that wonderful stuff. But in the mean time, don't be ashamed to concentrate on one goal.

There are several "programs" that outline exactly what you should be doing. You can find guides on the net, but I really recommend getting on Amazon.com and buying this book. Yeah, it's 30 bucks, but it will outline exactly what you should be doing, with great illustrations for form and everything else, with diet recommendations, etc. It shows how to properly test your current strength, and how to safely and properly increase how much you lift. It was really a life changing read for me, and a life change was worth so much more than $30 to me.

But basically what it recommends is 3 workouts per week, let's call them workout "A" and workout "B." "A" is squats and bench press, "B" is squats and deadlifts. To figure out the lifts, start with just the bar, and do a set of 5. Add just a little weight, do another set of 5. Keep doing this until you can not finish a set of 5 with perfect form. Do this for the 3 main lifts. Then you're going to do your workouts A B A one week and B A B the next. Every workout, you do some warmup sets with the bar, then warm up with a little weight, and finally do 3 sets of 5 with your "max" weight. Deadlifts you only do 1 set of 5. After the 2 week cycle ends, add 5 lbs to every lift. Another cycle.

This is the very most basic idea of what the program is about, and I truly suggest that you read more about it and don't just do what I said there because I know I probably am forgetting something crucial. The book also talks about when to add in accessory exercises, like chin-ups, dips, overhead press, etc. Stick with this program for 3 months, and the changes you will see will be drastic.

Realistically, any program designed by someone knowledgeable, that is designed around linear progression, will be good for a novice lifter. Just pick a program, stick with it, and do exactly what the program says (people fuck up every day thinking they're smarter than strength coaches, and attempting to "add" to the program). Good luck! (And look up anterior pelvic tilt for that posture, broseph. It'll help).

>Of course, there is a delayed reward from books and TV- the book is in my mind forever, has given me new insight in the world, entertained me and made me think about things (if it's good).

Sorry, I don't think I explained myself well. When I mean delayed reward I mean that I can stay up all night watching It's always sunny, reading wealth poverty and politics, or playing Xbox. Because it isn't difficult I am always 100% enjoying, with working out you face a large lack of motivation to get to or stay at the gym and while you could play Xbox for 4 hours you wouldn't be able or want to be doing hill sprints for that long. Only once you finish your workout do you feel good about it. Same thing with a job or grades, working and studying suck but that promotion or A is awesome.

>There is no delayed reward from exercise- as soon as you stop doing it, you lose the benefits.

As for future benefits yeah tv shows books and documentaries are great for culture, conversation, and insight. As for working out, I mean there are countless studies about how working out benefits you in the long-run physically and mentally. Here is a book that goes into it

>But your "dedication, drive, passion" is for something that only benefits you, and you do for selfish reasons. Same as my leisure time activities.

Yes, I love to see progress in my body for sure this is a strong feedback mechanism, the same after you read a book and introduce new information to a friend. But, it doesn't just benefit me, it benefits everyone I interact with their is a noticeable change in personality between before and after I exercise or if I took a day or two off. It benefits me SO in regards to the physical relationship. I also feel a responsibility if society will absorb any health insurance costs.

I am similar to you. I have ET, and it is very hard for me to gain weight. When I was your age (30+ years ago), I was 6'2" and 128 lbs soaking wet. About 8-9 years ago, I was still no heavier than 135-140 lbs.

Then I read a book called, Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. It inspired me to start lifting heavy for the first time in my life. There are a lot of ways to go about it, but I followed a super simple plan called StrongLifts 5x5. On top of that, I lowered my carbs a bit and increased my protein and fat intake (this was before keto was such a big thing) and tracked my macros and calorie intake on My Fitness Pal. For the first time in my life, I started to gain weight and got up to a lean 160 lbs in less than a year. I'm sure that I would have continued a "clean" weight gain if I had stuck to my diet and exercise routine. Unfortunately, I got off track for a variety of reasons and lost 10 of the pounds I had gained.

Now I'm considering keto to help with my ET and energy level, even though I'm not lifting and certainly not trying to lose weight.

Bottom line, if I can gain, you can gain. Lift heavy free weights. Don't waste your time on those circuit machines. Track your calories and macros. Get advice from this sub and others as far as what to eat. Stick with it. Get a workout buddy to help you stay accountable and to give you encouragement.

Good luck!

1. Skinny does not mean healthy. It doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy, but bear in mind that many skinny people are just as unhealthy as obese people.
   
   
2. IMO, a simple definition of "healthy" is rather hard to pinpoint. But I would suggest a baseline of being able to a mile in under 10 minutes, do 10 pushups and touch your toes when you bend over. If you can do those 3 things you are probably in decent shape. And you probably know enough about how your body works to pursue other fitness goals, like running a marathon. And that's something anyone can do, if they really feel like it.
   
   
3. You don't need to run marathons, though. All you need is 30 to 60 minutes of moderate physical activity. This could be almost anything. A brisk walk. A bike ride. Swimming. Weight lifting. Hiking (bonus points if you carry a pack).
   
   When it comes to exercise, it doesn't really matter WHAT you did. It matters THAT you did.
   
   
4. Figure out a way to get yourself on an exercise routine. Interested in running? Then check out the Couch to 5K. You could be running your first 5K race in 6 weeks! Hate running? Well, so does everyone else. But if you REALLY hate it, you could look into Starting Strength Or get a bike. Or go hiking.
   
   It really doesn't matter what you do. But it matters a lot if you do or if you don't.
   
   
5. Learn to cook. I can help you with this. I'm a fabulous cook and nothing I make is "fancy". I just know how to cook really good, really healthy, really easy foods. Yesterday, I made a vegan cream of mushroom soup that would knock your socks off. It was fairly easy and it is very good.
   
   Cooking will save you money, promote good health and romantic partners LOVE it when you know how to cook.
   
   I know it sounds like a lot of big changes. But it is really a lot of small changes. Set yourself up for success! Don't try to do too much, too soon. If you make lots of small steps, you'll get there.
   
   "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

> One thing I am stuck on is how to proceed with bulking/cutting phases.

Here's what it says about that in Bigger, Leaner, Stronger:

​

>I always recommend that guys don’t bulk if they’re over 15 percent body fat and that they end their bulks once they reach 15 to 17 percent and begin cutting (as this is where the above problems start to kick in). Then, once they’ve reached the 10 percent body fat range, they’re ready to bulk again and add more muscle to their physiques.

>I recommend that you juggle your cuts and bulks to remain in the 10 to 15 to 17 percent body fat range until you reach a point where you’re absolutely satisfied with your overall size at 10 percent, and then cut below this point. In fact, many guys (including me) find that they need to reach a point where they feel they’re too big at 10 percent to have the look they want at 7 percent.

-----

​

You may benefit from reducing the weight a little and increasing your reps, as this will burn more calories and allow you to get to 15% faster.

​

>I made it 25 days NO-fap. On Friday night I drank a lot Downtown and jerked off when I got back. Once I broke willpower once it became easier and easier to do and it spiraled downwards and I ended up doing it like 5 times on Saturday throughout the day. Strangely enough, the nightly devotion I did with my wife that night talked about addictions; particularly pornography; and Sunday’s message at the church I went to was about going out with the old and in with the new. God helped me get back on track. I just took a mental note of it because it is something that is very easy to fall back into if you allow yourself to.

​

Amen, God has a way of getting our attention, doesn't He? In addition of "taking a mental note of it," you should confess it to Him in prayer (God, I know this was sin and I know I displeased You) and then repent and forsake it. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

​

>I did find out some interesting things on Friday night as well. I wingmaned some of the guys in my group who were having approach anxiety and were making up excuses. They said they did not know what to do, what to say, etc (They were all from small towns where a 5 is like an 8) and beauty was intimidating them so I showed them. I got up, walked over to a table, pulled out a chair (asking if the seat was taken? They said no, I sat down and started talking like it is no big deal. I was surprised I actually still have a little game. The girl I sat next to eyes lit up the second I sat down.

​

Awesome, way to take charge and show the young bucks how it's done!

​

>She noticed I was married within thirty seconds and I found out she was as well. Shortly after two of the other guys finally joined me at the table. The married woman was getting pretty touchy after a minute or so I called her out on it in a funny way as I was watching the other guy’s interactions. We had a good conversation with me making fun of Arkansas and her making fun of my southern accent and other stuff I cannot remember.

​

AWALT bro. You aren't really surprised are you?

​

>The biggest irritation I have had is she does not know what she wants and for each of her suggestions I describe what that would look like logistically and it stresses her out and she breaks down.

​

WOTSM has a chapter called "Don't force the feminine to make decisions." You should read that.

​

>MY PLAN I have communicated and she recently came on board with is to stay at the APT for another year if they do not increase our rates too much. If they do, I would rather rent a house for at least two years around that same price range until we have enough saved up to buy a house. But buying a house right now is not a smart option.

​

This is a good approach. Best to tell her "this is what I plan on doing" and letting her disagree with you if she wants - THEN you can discuss options. Give her the chance to trust you and follow your leadership rather than asking what she wants. If she wants something different, she's a big girl and will say so.

​

>Kids were mentioned again and I am happy she is more in my frame and sees eye to eye with me on this now. I want kids, but I also do not want to consider my kids as a burden. I want to get some other goals in place on my MAP before we should take that step.

​

Good call here.

​

>Then her car has been acting up again and she was stressing about that saying she doesn’t know what to do. I told her to take it to the shop. She says she doesn’t want to because mechanics take advantage of women. Then I was like there is nothing I can do then I am not there. Then she starts crying and hyperventilating and hangs up the phone. She calls me back 5 minutes later saying she feels helpless. I calm her down and thankfully her car has been fine since then (this happened last Thursday.)

​

Since you're limited in what you can do when you're not there, take some time when you come home to ask around and see if any of your friends or acquaintances have a mechanic that they trust, and give her the info so she can use them next time. You need to lead here Captain. Because she's right: she will probably get taken advantage of.

​

>My relationship with God has grown a lot this week. I find myself praying more and talking with him.

>Me and my wife have done well keeping up with our bible reading as well and we are done with 1st and 2nd Corinthians.

​

Excellent!

Short answer: figure out what you like when masturbating and then do that with someone else who you like and trust and have fun with. Don't set goals or deadlines, just mutually mess around and have fun. Things will become more and more fun; like any sport or hobby, the more you do it the better you get, and everyone has their own style.

Long answer:
Start with mutual masturbation. What feels best, what makes you excited? Talk to your partner, do those things. Ask your partner what they like. Try those things. Touch each other, play with each other, get each other off without penetration. Have fun.
Don't pressure yourselves. Use protection, have a pack of Plan B before you need it (a girlfriend might need it, you can be a real hero!) and have fun.

Also, don't be surprised if your partner loses their erection; guys get nervous too, and it can be a real ego-crusher to him when Mr. Happy doesn't do his thing.



Also - don't mean to insult your intelligence, so please understand that this is a fantastic book that I have recommended to adults. Ok?
Some of this stuff will be things you already know, but some will not be. Most Libraries will have it

Last thing; I recommend watching the Midwest Teen Sex Show - it's something like Saturday Night Live meets Sex Ed, and when I found it (I'm 44 - found this in my 30's) there was stuff I didn't know. They talk about all the nuances of sex that were never covered, and they also are frank and factual and just damned outstanding.

I'm a former Librarian, an Aunt to 4 kids, and the Social Aunt to many more - who explained things to kids with parents who couldn't.

If you have any questions about websites or places to learn more, lemme know. My personal experiences won't help, because we're all very different.

TL;DR - go back and read it. Also, double up on protection
(pill + condom OR IUD + condom OR diaphragm + condom... but always always use a condom!)

Much luck, hon. It's great good fun once you've figured things out and have someone awesome.

I've read so many books that I honestly cannot say that any particular one is the most important. However, here's a list of really good ones:

• Starting Strength. Mark Rippetoe. I've read all three editions. The books have greatly influenced the way I lift, especially in the obvious sense of proper form for barbell lifts.
  
  
• Practical Programming For Strength Training. Mark Rippetoe and Lon Kilgore. Simple explanations of a lot of things related to training even nutrition.
  
  
• Beyond Bodybuilding. Pavel Tsatsouline. Amazing book filled with numerous lifts with the goal of using strength training to develop mass.
  
• Relax Into Stretch and Super Joints by Pavel as well. If you have issues with mobility or flexibility, these books are awesome.
  
• 5 3 1. Jim Wendler. I'm fairly certain the majority of people know what this is, but if you haven't read it, I encourage reading both editions and the one for powerlifting, especially if you're running 5/3/1 right now. All three books are a huge resource for determining how to program assistance and conditioning.
  
• Easy Strength. Pavel and Dan John This was a great read. It was filled with tons of things from articles written by Dan John as well as just a massive look at how to appropriately program strength training for people at numerous levels.
  
• 4 Hour Body. Tim Ferriss. This was an amazing read. It, like Pavel's Power to the People, was a great read on complete minimalism of training towards a goal.
  
  I've read so many more books than that. Since these are the only ones that I can think of off the top of my head, I'd say that they are the ones that have made the biggest impression from reading them.

I started intermittent fasting since my first year at college ten years ago. I was never a fan of breakfast and my mom couldn’t force me to eat, so I stopped. Never had any negative side effects in terms of sport performance. You should be fine. Just make sure you are well rested. You can’t out eat sleep.
Actually, I do not intend to lose weight. My goal for now is recomp. Read this excellent article by Jordan Feigenbaum: http://www.barbellmedicine.com/584-2/
I use to be too scared to gain weight. This is because I use to weigh 235lb before going down to 165lb. I lost all of it with a combination of cycling and caloric deficit. However, because of my fear to gain weight, it also hampered my ability to weight train optimally. For strength training, around 17% to 20% body fat is ideal. Now that I am around 25% body fat and severely detrained, I will take this opportunity restart Starting Strength. I will probably go from 25% to 17% fat by the time I am finished with my linear progression or intermediate progression, but my weight fluctuation would be minimal. This is the intermediate program I used back when I was cycling. It is a split Texas Method routine: http://i.imgur.com/cmerDTv.png
If you are interested in learning on how to create your own program to fit your goals, I think this is the best book in the market. It is all I ever used: https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Programming-Strength-Training-Rippetoe/dp/0982522754
I view fasting as a tool, not a lifestyle. I don’t really see fasting as a proper tool for a linear program like Starting Strength since eating aids recovery and adaption. Remember that part of training is about the stress, recovery, adaption cycle. However, after I finish Starting Strength and my intermediate programming, and I still have fat to shed, than I can see 5:2 and/or PSMF being useful.
I find /r/fitness to be too bodybuilding centric to be useful for my goals. It is a good outlet for motivation to see transformations, but I don’t think I ever actually learned anything useful. Just like any subreddit really, there is too much noise and not enough signal. But no, I don’t think /r/fitness would receive fasting well at all because most of the sources they listen to are “bodybuilders”, and the last thing those guys want to do is a multiday water fast, which is correct.

It's a workout program written by Brett Contreras that targets the glutes but also incorporates overall strengthening of the body. It's difficult but I love it. You can try it without buying the book because the workout templates are available in PDF online but the book is less than $20 on Amazon and has a TON of useful information as well as an excercise guide with color pictures and written information on what you should be feeling (as in what muscles). He also offers a lot of alternative exercises so that you can switch it up to prevent boredom or if you aren't quite at the strength to do an excercise but still need something challenging. It's very adaptable to your lifestyle and needs. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in strengthening glutes or just getting fit in general. It says for women but there are men who have used it with success as well. Here's a link!
Strong Curves: A Woman's Guide to Building a Better Butt and Body https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936608642/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_NJruzbVJMQKJE

Nutrition:

• IIFYM, Paleo, Keto... all these work, just find something you can stick with long term. Personally, I don't think people eat enough protein, but I'm neither a doctor or a nutritionist so I don't have any evidence to back this up.
  
  
• Plan your meals and make your food in advance. If your nutrition plan allows it, plan your cheat days. You may find it easier to stick to your plan if you know you have a cheat meal/day coming up.
  
  
• Track what you are eating. Even if it's something you shouldn't be. Track it!
  
  
• Remove temptation from your home.
  
  
• Realize that everything you eat is a choice you are making. You can eat broccoli or you can kill a Chinese buffet , it's your choice. That being said....
  
  
• Focus on progress, not perfection. If you fall off the wagon just get back on. Don't beat yourself up.
  
  Workout:
  
  
• Again, find something you can stick with long term. 5/3/1, Starting Strength, Strong Lifts... all these work. As long as you're adding weight to the bar or doing more reps with the same weight you are making progress.
  
  
• Like with your nutrition, focus on progress. If you miss a workout, just pick up where you left off. Don't beat yourself up, just get back in the gym.
  
  
• If possible, get a friend or someone to help hold you accountable.
  
  
• Don't neglect your cardio/conditioning.
  
  
• I highly recommend you purchase and read Becoming a Supple Leopard. Do some mobility work and take care of yourself now, your body will thank you in a couple decades.
  
  I like Crossfit because the gym I'm at has a great sense of community and competition. I genuinely like the people I work out with and they push me to be better. I also like Primal/keto for the nutrition side, but I like meat and veggies so it's easy for me to follow.

I love, love, love the book It's Perfectly Normal, and it's what my daughter and I read together. (I gave her the choice of reading it on her own, and she chose to read it together.)

It's not only sex positive, but it is very inclusive about non-heterosexual relationships. The section on masturbation is lovely. I appreciate that there's a two-page illustration of tons of naked people (pseudo-realistic cartoons), and it's every kind of body you can imagine—elderly folks, handicapped, various ethnicities, skinny, fat. It gives a great sense of how we're different, yet so much the same.


I also appreciate that it has a sense of humor while keeping it very real. The title says it all, really, and "It's perfectly normal" is a theme that runs throughout the book.


Edit: Wow, just checked out the one-star reviews on Amazon. The fact that people have their panties in a bunch about it should be proof enough that it actually tells the honest truth.

The only way to self-teach them is to film yourself CONSTANTLY.

I would also recommend Everett's book, found here.

What really has to happen is that you, as a trainee, need to understand the mechanics of the movement, visualize it, and furthermore, find cues that make sense to you. A lot of cues are sort of abstract; Don McCauley has a video explaining his "catapult" technique. This shit made zero sense to me, but my friend understood it. When I explained this technique and my interpretation of it to a semi-coach, he put it in different terms/cues, and now they are what I use.

To be honest, there is too much information out there for these lifts. There are different styles in terms of how they're approached and executed, so if you gather information from too many sources, you may find yourself taking in cues and positions from various sources that do not apply to one another. In the end, a lifter has to adapt these movements into things that work for their body and brain. This is where a coach is handy, because he can say, "try this" or "try that." If you're on your own, you have to film yourself, and diagnose what looks awkward and/or sub-optimal, then fix it.

It could be beneficial to mimic a lifter that is in your weight class and roughly the same height; if you try to mimic a lifter, you may fail. But emulation is part of the learning process.

I would start with Everett's book. I think he has an English degree. He's a pretty clear writer and there are a lot of pictures guiding you.

As for the snatch and clean, they feed off one another. Everett teaches the snatch first. In my experience, people gravitate towards one or the other. The same friend who understood the catapult technique has a really awesome bar path in his snatch, and for whatever reason, always has. It puts mine to shame. However, on the other hand, my cleans make him look goofy. It's probably part how we're built, but still, what works for him does not work for me. He also can only split-jerk; I have never felt comfortable in that movement so eventually I started push jerking and that is something that he struggles with.

One thing I will say, is ALWAYS learn the full movement first. IE, learn the full clean first, then the power clean. If you ONLY power clean, you will develop a motor pattern that says "catch the weight here." If you develop the clean first, your instinct will be to get under the bar, which translates into a superior power clean as well.

The same applies to the snatch, assuming you're flexible enough.

Yeah, I was fat in my teens and transitioned to being strong in my post-teens, and this is the advice that seems to strike a note with me. The thing is, at that age I really had no idea what the different degrees of freedom were in terms of fitness. Not did I not know, but I also didn't know what I didn't know.

First thing I would do is just make him aware of the body of knowledge that exists in the strength and fitness world. Make it like you are discovering this stuff together more than you are lecturing him. And more than anything make him aware that eating a lot is not a bad thing in and of itself -- gradually teach him about the fact that most professional athletes (e.g. MMA fighters) need to do both, i.e. that there is bulking and there is cutting. And if he eats a lot, that is totally fine, as long as he also lifts big. Teach him about squats and bench, ask him "does he even lift", "squats and oats", etc. get all the memes into his head, nerd out on the fact that deadlifts are one of the most primal forms of physical expression going way back to caveman times (like literally how much shit can you pick up and put it down again), etc.

Most importantly, make him understand how lucky he is -- that a 14 year old is basically like a puppy on steroids -- his body is just now beginning to produce this magic juice that can get him looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger within 6 months if only he just eats big and lifts big too. Fuck diets -- just focus on eating big and just lift shit and put it back down again. You keep a rough progression table (in your head, or maybe even on paper) of his lifts as well as your own, and use the to motivate him. I mean, holy shit, he could legitimately add 5lbs to his lifts every week at the age of 14. If you don't have gym equipment at home, get some primal kettlebells and just start doing this shit yourself, and have him help you. Just get him to start, and I guarantee you once he smells what he is capable of, once the evidence of success overrides any self-doubt instilled by feelings of insecurity, he won't be able to stop. Make this into an obsession for him. Get books like this one, and just read it yourself and tell him stuff that you read from the book. Nerd out on eating and lifting. He will become addicted. And as a bonus, it will bring you guys closer together too.

I watched this documentary a while ago, and it really blew my mind. Now the only reason I bring it up is because it is a documentary about 3 brothers and their journey through life. They grew up together and they lifted together, and there is something to be said about the bond that comes as a result of that. To be clear, I do not recommend even considering steroids, and in-fact I don't think you should even show him this documentary -- but I think it might be a good inspiration for you, to give you a sense of how close you two will become if you just have his back and are there for him at this point in his life. You live together, you eat together, and you should lift together. Coz he is your bro, and your bro needs his bro, bro. Haha, good luck!

First off, welcome! :)

There is already a ton of good info in the links, and other's posts, but I want to emphasize, as you've mentioned:

Starting Strength, the book, and Starting Strength, the DVD.

The book does a better job than any other program I've seen in explaining exactly what to do, and how to do it. The DVD shows you what good form looks like.

Sure, you can get both from links and YouTube, but as far as I'm concerned, this is some of the best possible money spent, in terms of return on investment. You'll get a good beginner's program, and you'll see exactly what the motions are you need to do.

A good trainer is a big plus, no doubt. The problem is finding a good trainer, and not one that will just try and push hard for you to do a 30-minute circuit and call it a day. And this really is a problem. It took me months upon months to finally find the guys I wanted to train with. The amount of bull pushed in the fitness world is astounding.

My advice for supplements (beyond a basic multi, fish oil, & D) is simple: For your first year of training, ignore them.

First comes form, technique, and newbie gains. That will fill out an entire year. There's enough to learn that you won't get bored. Honest. :)

Eat however you enjoy most that gets you the daily calories/macros you need. Timing details are when you're searching for the last half a percent of gain. Right now is not the time for that. Right now is time to bask in your newbgains and nail down the basics, because the rapid progress a beginner makes is an awesome feeling!

Well, the idea is more to start low and progress to medium-high weight and then rotate between low weight/high reps, medium weight/medium reps, and high weight/low reps for your workouts. But for now, yea, low to moderate weights are essential so that workouts don't completely trash you and you can keep a schedule with good frequency and volume and not burn out or get injured. Gives you lots of time to practice.

Going heavy everyday even once you work up to it is still a bad move for anyone that isn't a projectile testosterone sweating romanian minotaur. It's why people plateau constantly, they buy into the dogma of Heavy all the fucking time! Woo yea hardcore! But they don't have the genetics, nutrition, lifestyle (or steroids) to support it.

If you're serious about weight lifting for fitness go order this book ASAP: Starting Strength

With the amount of useful information on form it contains it would be cheap at twice the price, but it also has one of the best beginner programs for any newbie.

Since you're a vegetarian I won't bother trying to convince you to go /r/paleo but focus on getting your protein intake up and avoid all of that processed junk some vegetarians like to eat. (Soy burgers, rice cakes, wheat crackers, etc.) Eat actual fruits and vegetables. And if you do dairy definitely look into greek yogurts to boost your protein. Fresh berries added to some FAGE 2% is pretty fucking awesome. I really recommend you at least incorporate dairy and ideally fish as well if you're going to lift as it's difficult to gain or even maintain muscle on the standard low-protein, low-calorie vegetarian diet.

And for all of you Starting Strength guys who aren't making any progress on your lifts anymore it's time to get real: 5/3/1.

Little late here... but the lack of stability you were experiencing is exactly why squats are considered such an important exercise. Free weight, compound exercises are just plain better at developing functional strength than machine exercises because they involve more muscles in stabilization and allow for a more natural range of motion. That's not to say that the leg press is bad, it certainly has its uses as an accessory exercise but you're doing yourself a bit of a disservice not trying to nail your squat form. Your knees and balance shouldn't be a problem once you've got the basics down (and, honestly, the leg press is probably marginally worse for overall knee health).

I'd make a go at learning to low bar squat, there's a lot of good resources out there for it. Anything Starting Strength related (like this video or especially the third edition) is a great place to start for technique even if you're not necessarily keen to do that particular program (most people would recommend something similar to it, though). The folks over on /r/startingstrength are usually happy to do form checks and are a very knowledgeable, respectful, and helpful bunch (granted, they'll also probably encourage you to do the program :P).

Get yourself Frederic Delavier's Strength Training Anatomy, so you can visualise the different muscles and how they work.

Listen to your body and learn how to FEEL those separate muscles under tension. Put on some tunes that motivate you, but help you focus, and find a quiet part of the gym to work in.

Also, try them at home with body weight first. Set up your phone and film yourself, or work in front of the mirror to check form. Build your confidence and learn how the correct form feels, then if you feel awkward in the gym you'll stand a chance of getting it right even if you're panicking about the world staring at and critiquing you.

Also: I know anxiety makes it challenging, but keep a smile on your face in the gym and some nice guys/girls will probably strike up a conversation and be happy to offer you pointers.

If that's too much, try getting in with a good PT (even for half an hour a week) which will make you feel comfortable and confident.
Look for the PT's with clients that are working hard but look happy to be doing so!

You've got this, you just need to keep pushing through and find your confidence with it. Make the gym the one place your anxiety doesn't rule your life.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want advice! :)

https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Training-Anatomy-Frederic-Delavier/dp/0736092269/ref=la_B001H6NZGW_1_1/158-3985945-0181711?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1488033303&sr=1-1

Thank's for the kind words man. The short answer is I've been following this book. A second book I recommend is Starting Strength which discusses in depth proper form for the key weightlifting workouts (bench press, standing military press, barbell squat, and deadlifts).

Bigger Leaner Stronger taught me everything from managing calories, what to eat, how to manage macros, good vs bad protein powder, supplements, vitamins, work out routines, etc. It is basically my gym bible. But, if you aren't interested in taking the time to read these books (which I HIGHLY recommend), then I'll give you a brief rundown of my workout routine.

Workouts "phases" are broken up into 9 weeks. A typical 9-week phase looks like this:

Weeks 1-3: Regular week lifting at 5 days per week (mon-fri)

Week 4: Strength Week. Only lift mon, wed, and fri, but focus on key workouts (Barbell squat, deadlift, bench press, military press)

Week 5-7: Same as week 1-3

Week 8: Strength week

Week 9: Deload or off week. I either don't work out this week or I do three days at 50% of my working weight (so essentially a light week)

A typical 5 day week looks likes this:

Monday: Chest and Abs. Incline bench press. Incline dumbell bench press. Flat barbell bench press. Face Pull. Three abdominal circuits where one circuit consists of Cable crunch (10 to 12 reps), captains chair leg raise to fail, bicycle crunch to fail

Tuesday: Back and Calves. Deadlift. Bent over barbell Rows. Pull ups. Standing calf raises. Seated calf raises.

Wednesday: Shoulder and Abs. Standing Military Press. Side lateral Raise. Bent over rear delt raise. 3 ab circuits.

Thursday: Legs. Barbell squat. Romanian deadlift. Leg press. Standing calf raise. Seated calf raise.

Friday: Upper body & Abs. Incline bench press. Barbell curl. Close-grip bench press. Alternating dumbell curl. Chest dips. 3 ab circuits.

A typical activity includes 4 warm up sets and three working sets like this:

12 x 50% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
10 x 50% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
4 x 70% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
1 x 90% of my working weight (rest 3 min)

After this warm up is complete, I do 3 working sets. 4-6 reps of my working weight (if i hit 6 reps, I add 10 lbs to a barbell or 5 lbs to a dumbell) Rest 3-4 min. Repeat this 2 more times. A huge key to building strength is progressive overload. If you hit those 6 reps, add more weight. If you hit 6 reps and add more weight but can only do 3 reps with the new weight, drop it back to where you were before. But next week, start with the higher weight.

As far as diet is concerned. Yes. This is the biggest thing. I eat clean. I eat very clean. I don't eat processed foods. I only drink milk and water. I eat vegetables and chicken. Good fats, good protein, and good carbs. I weigh everything I eat to make sure i'm hitting my calories and macros. I track everything in my fitness pal.

A typical meal day for me is protein bar before workout. Protein shake and banana after work out. 2 hardboiled eggs and 175 grams of plain nonfat greek yogurt for breakfast. 4 oz tuna and some triscuit crackers + a carrot for snack. Chicken breast and veges for lunch. Non-sorbate prunes and another banana for a late day snack. Protein shake for dinner. Maybe some more protein and veges.

TLDR

Read bigger leaner stronger. If you don't want to do that then the key items are eat clean and within your calorie limits (you can lose weight by eating in a caloric deficit without even needing to workout). The most important weightlifting exercises are barbell squats, deadlifts, standing military press, and bench press.

As my post title states, I only do cardio 0 to 1 times per week which is hardly anything. It's not necessary for fat loss, but it will help accelerate fat loss and increase cardiovascular health which is important and which is also why I'm going to start adding more cardio.

Best of luck man. That book changed my life. I highly recommend it.

> I don't see a lot of mention of women doing the program here - I assume you should follow the program the same as what's written, but are there any modifications/considerations that should be made for lady lifters?

The program is the same for men or women. The only thing with female beginners is that sometimes the weight of the bar is a little too heavy to start with. My wife couldn't press or bench 5 sets of 5 with just the 45lbs bar when she started, but our gym has these light bars that come in 5lbs increments from 15lbs to 35lbs, so she used those until she got strong enough for the oly bar.

> Can you recommend good video/tutorials for how to do each of the exercises? I know how to do a squat, and I assume that this program is just a squat with a barbell on your back(?) but what the heck is a barbell row? How do I deadlift properly?

Stronglifts.com has a bunch of articles and videos on form:

Squat

DL

Pendlay rows

Press

Bench press

Here's some good links from the /r/weightroom wiki. Look through /r/fitness and consider posting a form check video, too. I really recommend you get yourself a copy of Starting Strength, it's the go-to reference on proper form for beginners.

> Can someone help me outline my workout and cooldown reps a little more clearly?

The first week or so you can skip the warmups, since the weight will be light enough. Once you get to 60-65lbs:

• Always start with two warm up sets of 5 reps with just the bar.
  
• Add 20-50lbs on each warmup set until you hit your work weight.
  
• Drop the reps as you do more warmup sets.
  
  So let's say you're squatting 95lbs, your routine would look something like this:
  
  2 x 5 x 45lbs (just the bar)
  
  1 x 3 x 65lbs
  
  5 x 5 x 95lbs
  
  If you were squatting 200lbs, you could do something like:
  
  2 x 5 x 45lbs (just the bar)
  1 x 5 x 95lbs
  1 x 3 x 135lbs
  1 x 2 x 185lbs
  5 x 5 x 200lbs
  
  As the weight goes up, I've found it convenient to just alternate between adding a 25lbs plate and a 45lbs plate on each side until I hit my work weight (so my warmups are always 45lbs, 95lbs, 135lbs, 185lbs, 225lbs, 275lbs and so on until I hit my work weight.)
  
  The key is to not overthink it: just do two sets with the bar, then add anywhere between 20-50lbs to the bar progressively until you hit your work weight and drop the reps as you go so that you don't tire yourself out and can't finish your work sets.
  
  > Would I benefit from doing a session with a personal trainer to help me with form?
  
  Depends on the trainer... If you can find one that knows about olympic lifting or powerlifting, sure. Otherwise it'll probably be a waste of time/money. You can always take some video and post a form check request on r/fitness.
  
  > I read that the smith machine is a no-no, but can someone confirm that the barbell on the front is part of a power rack and that it should be fine to use for this program?
  
  Stay away from the Smith machine.
  
  The barbell should be fine, but I don't see safety bars on that rack... You need safety bars to squat, period. If you don't have a spotter, you also need safety bars to bench. Safety bars hold the weight when you fail a lift so it doesn't crush you and kill you.
  
  Hope that helps!

Yes!! I've been lifting for a few years and it all started with the book the New Rules of Lifting for Women: http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Women/dp/1583333398

SUCH A GREAT RESOURCE, comes with programs for 6+ months of efficient and effective training that varies depending on your goals. I recommend everyone start with that, or at least have it in their library as a good resource. Once you have a hold of the basics and good form, then it's a lot of fun cruising around bodybuilding.com's complete (and free!) programs and simplyshredded.com's female interviews, which include the interviewee's favorite programs. I would definitely start with the New Rules of Lifting, though, since it will create a solid strength base which will give you the confidence and good form to be able to play around with your programming later.

Also, Mark Rippetoe's book "Starting Strength" (pretty popular, you can probably find at the library) is dense but very very clear as to the proper mechanics of every basic lift and has a good beginner's program outlined towards the end.

FINALLY, while you don't need to look at those programs, you do need A program and to write down what you do every time you go in. This will prevent you from overworking/underworking certain muscle groups, help you keep track of strength progress, and also allow you in a few weeks/months/years to remember what worked for your body and what did not.
Good luck!!

The New Rules of Marathon and Half Marathon Nutrition by Matt Fitzgerald is a good book that talks mainly about nutrition. Some people say it was written as a marketing ploy by Matt Fitzgerald, however there's still some great info in there about nutrition for training and race day.

Advanced Marathoning by Pete Pfitzinger is also a great resource for all things training. Ignore the training plans in the back as they're likely too advanced for your first marathon, but the rest of the book has amazing information about physiology, cross-training, recovery, nutrition, types of workouts... Highly recommend. Then, if you get to a point where you want to take your marathoning to the next level, you'll have some great plans to work off.

Another great online resource is fellrnr.com (i've linked you straight to the marathon section) -- this guys has compiled A LOT of data if you're a data nerd, and there's also a lot of good info in there.

Just a note on using different resources -- you'll see that sometimes they can contradict each other. For example, Matt's book and fellrnr both speak to the benefits of fat loading during your pre-race carb load phase, but Pfitz's book writes this off as not necessary. This is normal, and don't get too caught up in what's right and what's not. The point is that everyones different, and you need to find what works for you.

This sub-reddit is also a great trove of information, with many people willing to answer specific questions about anything running related, so never hesitate to ask!

Good luck with your training and race!

Just take it one day at a time. I know living away from home for the first time can be scary, but you've made it this far and you can do this!

It's natural to wonder if you've made the correct choice, but try to take comfort in following the choices you have made so far. Just follow through with those choices. Going to school is almost always the correct decision to do, and since you left to go to school you're on the right path.

Just focus on your education and learn as much as you can in your classes. Get help from the professors or Teaching Assistants. Your college may even have free therapists if you want to get specific help. Be aware of all the perks you get as a college student.

Over the next few weeks you'll be establishing new routines and habits as you adapt to this new environment. It's going to be new and uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it. I recommend exercise as a habit because it can be as effective as medication for keeping stress under control.

I'd also suggest trying to make friends. It took me a long time in college before I finally found a friend or two I felt I could trust and be myself around, so I feel a little hypocritical giving this piece of advice. But having someone to talk to can be very helpful. Check out what clubs your school has, you're bound to find something that interests you. And if you go to any nerdy clubs (Sci-fi clubs, writing groups, anime clubs, video game clubs) you might be able to ask around and see if there are other Bronies around if those are the kinds of people you are looking for for friends.
You can also always call your parents, I'm sure they'd love to hear from you too as they are also dealing without having you around.

But don't sweat it, you can do this!

Keeping in mind affordability and portability, a powerlifting spin (and that I’m on mobile, so sorry about formatting):

1. Dead Wedge. Fantastic for unloading/loading the bar when deadlifting heavy. I use mine every deadlift session (so, at least once a week) https://www.lift.net/product/dead-wedge-deadlift-jack-alternative/
   
   
2. A bar pad. Makes it easier to do hip thrusts without the bruises and pain. https://www.thexbands.com/products/hip-thrust-and-squat-barbell-pad?variant=7422385356863&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI45qX_e713gIVi5-zCh34lQ0lEAQYBSABEgL7yfD_BwE
   
   
3. Resistance bands, small or large. Small ones are great for accessory muscle activation activities. Large ones are great for their transportability - can do lots of stuff on the go - good mornings, overhead squats, bicep curls, scapula retractions... I’ve never used either of these brands, but as examples - Large: https://www.amazon.com/INTEY-Exercise-Resistance-Workout-Powerlifting/dp/B07226JDDD/ref=pd_aw_lpo_200_tr_img_2/133-4722036-0430309?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=A7DYJRRWKMG0MEJ0CV5J, Small: https://www.amazon.com/Athleema-Resistance-Bands-Light-Medium/dp/B00LYY0YE8/ref=pd_aw_lpo_200_lp_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Z099J78N6FSZRMEVEEVC
   
   
4. Liquid chalk. Great for rock climbing, lifting...anything when grip is essential. Also, may be allowed in gyms/areas when conventional chalk isn’t. Lots of different brands and types. Check out a comparison here: http://www.kingofthegym.com/best-liquid-chalk-for-lifting/
   
   
5. Hand care items; manicure gift certificate. Or, if you’re gonna go “all out,” a massage gift certificate.
   
   
6. A month of programming. My gym membership is expensive, since it’s a specialty gym. BUT my programming is through the Juggernaut site and is about $30/month - making it a more realistic possibility for friends/family.
   
   
7. Plate coasters. I got these as a stocking stuffer for my lifting partner. https://www.getrxd.com/getrxd-comp-plate-coasters.html?_vsrefdom=adwords&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIk-6EuvX13gIVgeDICh3MBwjbEAQYASABEgI5AfD_BwE
   
   
8. Starting Strength, by Mark Rippetoe. I LOVE this book. I have a background in anatomy, so it’s right up my nerdy alley. If you have a lifting friend who is into the how and why, get them this. https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738
   

1. Use an app like Libra (android) or Happy Scale (iOS). They average out your weight (see more about this in the Hacker's Diet) and give you a trend line, which helps you to not worry about random fluctuations. Libra doesn't attach photos, but it also doesn't connect to anything. I still highly recommend MFP for calorie tracking, but I don't really log my weight on it.
   
   
2. Amazon music on my phone. If you get bluetooth headphones, they'll usually have buttons you can use to control your music. I don't know how big your phone actually is, but you could always get a flipbelt and put it in there. I have a flipbelt and it will fit a phone with a 5" screen easily.
   
   
3. Do you need GPS functionality? If so, I don't have any recommendations. However, I have owned a fitbit charge HR for about nine months (which you can get for <$100 if you look on ebay, etc.) and I highly recommend it, although it's still a good idea to keep track of your rate of weight loss to compare how your fitbit calorie burn compares to your actual TDEE.
   
   
4. I don't like most apps for tracking lifting workouts. I think they're a pain. I use this notebook off Amazon. Very easy to use.
   
   I can give you more advice on a routine if you tell me your goals. For a weight training beginner who's looking to get stronger, you can't get much simpler than Stronglifts 5x5. If you're interested in a little more hypertrophy work, something like Ice Cream Fitness 5x5 (basically Stronglifts + accessories) or any of the Strong Curves programs are also good.
   
   If you want a single trustworthy place to look for information about weight training and nutrition, I can't recommend strengtheory and anything written by Greg Nuckols highly enough. Very informative, clear, science-backed, no bullshit, and the Art and Science of Lifting ebooks, if you're willing to put down a little cash, are the best all-in-one resource for someone looking to "keep track of it all" that I know of.

Okay, I wouldn't say "Pro-tips" but what has worked for me (5'8", 49yo, now 146, down from 157 some months ago.) I am still going for another 10 down.

I couldn't do it without:

LoseIt.com Counts calories, nutritional intake (carbs, fat, protein), and does other stuff. The forums there can be good, and the friend you make there are great!

Exercise: I make sure I exercised vigorously (cardio and weights) at least 45 minutes a day, 5-6 days a week. The New Rules of Lifting for Women (one for men, there’s another for women-YAY) was essential to me, as was walking on an incline on the treadmill, biking inside and out, and circuit training. I found after exercise my appetite is balanced and diminished. It also definitely toned my bod!

Scale and Tape Measure. I weigh in about 2ce weekly and do measurements 1ce a month. Sometimes inches have been lost even though the scale hasn't budged.

Definitely very helpful:

Heart rate monitor: The most accurate way to measure calories burned is with one of these. I often up my workout based on my heart rate, otherwise I could settle into sloggin along. Lots of different types available at different prices.

Eating 3 meals and 3 snacks in between so I never get ravenous (usually).

High volume, low calorie foods: romain lettuce, shredded carrots, jicima, etc.

Most likely helpful but can't say for sure:

Fish oil supplements.

B-vitamins

Caffeine in moderate amounts

Cinnamon

What hasn't worked: Trying fad diets that revolve around high protein, primal, high fat, etc. I eat percentages about 20-60-20 (fat-carbs-protein). I think the high protein diets may be good for obese or overweight, but not for me already in a healthy weight range. It just makes me irritable.

Best!

>Which muscle do you think i should focus on before i start cutting?

​

All of them. What is your program? Get on a full-body program and do it every other day. Add high intensity interval training 1-2 times a week.

​

My friend, to get big and lean you have to count calories and watch your macros all the time (most of the time), also when bulking. From your post it seems like you think gaining is chilling and eating and focusing on a specific muscle. You focus on big compound lifts. You focus on increasing your strength in your lifts (as this is the most effective way of building muscle). When gaining you focus on eating the right amount of calories to not gain fat and have the optimal macros as much as possible (while allowing for having a somewhat normal social life unless your friends have really bad habits in which case you have to choose between doing as your friends do or getting bid and lean). You don't have carte blanche to eat a lot of dietary fat and drink a lot of alcohol because you are bulking. Once you get big and lean you will even have to keep watch forever if you want to keep your body that way.

The best thing you can do to get motivated might be to read Bigger Leaner Stronger. https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG

​

He explains all the methods and principles it takes to get big and lean citing scientific studies all the way. He even has a chapter about motivation and what kind of headspace you need to get into to make it. I think you need to internalize this book, because this is not going to cut it:

​

>Which muscle do you think i should focus onknowing that i have good muscle below the fat would help with motivation which is something i completly lack when it comes to eating low-cal.

Good luck! :)

>I did about 4 months of strong curves, two weeks of SL, and have been doing the beginner PPL routine for about two months.

If I'm not mistaken, strong curves does not include the back squat so you've only got a couple of months of squatting, based on these routines. What is often overlooked is that increases in strength, especially at the beginning, is due more to technique improvement and neural-muscular activation and coordination improvement than to building muscle. It's more about learning to use the muscle you already have most effectively, through practice. Strength is a skill and it takes both knowledge and practice to develop. Based on your short training history, more of both will help immensely.

Since it seems you want to continue to lift heavier, I'm assuming that your primary training objective is to increase your strength. I would suggest that you work on both your form for all the lifts as well as practice them. This seems simple and many people think that you can get your form nailed quickly. However, every advanced lifter I've ever heard interviewed maintains that form improvement is something they all still work on. It's an ongoing process.

To start the process I'd highly recommend that you buy and read your own physical copy of Starting Strength. It covers the "why" and "how" of proper barbell training. You'll then be armed with the knowledge of what proper form (and body tension) looks like for all the lifts from a very authoritative source. At that point you can start again and practice, using the method detailed in the book, to really find where your linear progression will finally end, because I don't think you're there yet. Knowledge and practice are the keys to the strength you're after.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hey man. I'm new to Aikido as well, but have been strength training 3-5 times a week consistantly for over 5 years. What I can tell you is that it will come down to your willingness to just start lifting, or starting a program whether you're doing it 100% correct or not. Over time you will figure out what is correct by how your body responds. By all means be safe and smart by starting with very low weights, but just start.

After reading through your responses to peoples suggestions, u/rolandthedickslinger pretty much hit the nail on the head (even if a bit abrupt) but he's totally right. You're making excuses. Maybe re-read this thread and count how many times you shoot down helpful suggestions. Speaking of suggestions... I've read loads of books when I started trying to wade through the seas of useless fitness info, and the one book that helped me tremendously was Delaviers 'Strength Training Anatomy'. It teaches you all the muscles, groups, and how to safely train them. For more of a program oriented approach, get 'Strength Training Anatomy Workout II' also by Delavier. The illustrations are excellent, and everything is written so well its really easy to understand.

Good luck.

If it's a highschool gym it probably has a squat rack, and you also probably have a track outside and that's everything you need.

You need to do 3 things to get your program going:

1. Learn your lifts. In lieu of someone that can hands on teach you how to do the lifts, I (and the FAQ) recommend this book as a foundation. It's how I learned to squat, deadlift, clean and snatch, and I've become quite a strong fellow. Without someone there, I recommend posting videos online asking for critique of your form.
   
   If you can't afford the book, you can use the internet. But be careful, anyone can post a video of how to squat and a large majority of videos show poor form/ don't get the details right.
   
   
2. Find your starting weights. This is actually pretty simple, once you have your technique down put 95 lbs on (the bar is 45lbs, so add 50 lbs) and do 3 reps (start with just the bar, EVERYONE STARTS SOMEWHERE). Increase by 10 pounds, do 3 reps. Continue doing this until it is either difficult or your form goes to complete shit. Subrtract 10 pounds from this weight and that's your new Work Weight. You only need to do this 1 time.
   
   
3. Setup your schedule. Here is a very simple, bare bones schedule that I recommend. For reference:
   

• 10x,5x = 10 reps, 5 reps
  
• 5+x = as many reps as you can, but at least 5
  
• lightweight = a light warmup weight, very easy
  
• mediumweight = a heavier warmup weight, mid difficulty
  
  A strength day:
  
• Squat 10x bar, 10x bar, 5 x light weight, 5x medium weight, 5x work weight, 5x work weight+5lbs, 5+x workweight+10lbs
  
• Bench: Same progression as squat
  
• Pullups: (If you can do pullups) 30 in as few sets as you can. (if you can't) Jumpup and descend as slow as you can x 10, repeat this until you can do 1 pullup, then do as many sets of 1 as you can. Then as many sets of 2, etc.
  
  Increases: If you can complete more than 5 on your 5+ set, increase your starting work weight by 5 pounds for the next session. 5lbs may seem small, but it is a good amount and allows you to gradually build up the strength needed to lift heavier. and keeps you from stalling out at heavy weights. For pullups, if you can do 30 in 3 sets, increase it by 5. Repeat until it takes you more than 3 sets to complete all pullups.
  
  After that, the time is yours, go do curls till your arms explode if you want, but I recommend doing something like 50 burpees as fast as you can or assistance exercises.
  
  Fitness day: 10x 100m sprint, walk back to the start or 4x400m sprints, walk a lap in between. You get the idea.
  
  Schedule:
  Monday - Strength
  Tuesday - Rest
  Wednesday - Fitness
  Thursday - Strength
  Friday - Rest
  Saturday - Fitness
  Sunday - Rest
  
  The schedule seems sparse, but your just starting out and should not be killing yourself in your workouts. Get your body used to the high stress that strength lifts put on it, before you try to workout till you puke. Once your used to it, start customizing it to reach your goals.

No problem, takes no time at all. In all of those programs and books I mentioned they will tell you exactly what weight to lift and when. There are a handful of programs that pretty much the entire weightlifting community agrees are the best of all time, so your goal should be to use one of those programs as soon as you are able. My favorite of those and the one I would recommend you do is Jim Wendler's 5/3/1. He has a book that goes with it and teaches you everything you need to know to use that program and have a training plan for the next 1-5 years.

The problem is, 5/3/1 works by far the best once you've gotten the basics down and have some weightlifting experience. Things are different when you're first starting out. You're focused on technique, learning the different lifts, timing your sets and reps, etc. You start out lifting little to no weight, but as a beginner you will progress much more quickly than usual. For that reason you should read a good book like starting strength, and then do a beginner program for at least a few months. Once you get that quality experience you can move on to the 5/3/1 and know for a fact you're taking the most proven and intelligent approach you can. It's very relaxing knowing you're doing the right thing instead of worrying about it and jumping from program to program. Get yourself a bench so you can do all 3 of the big 3! Get creative and somehow find a way, don't take no for an answer. You absolutely must find a way to bench press, it's hugely important for growing your upper body (and it's the most important lift for feeling like a manly man).

Here's the stronglift 5x5 book, it's free: http://stronglifts.com/5x5/

Read that and it should answer all your questions.

Most people start off with Starting Strength or Strong Lifts for gaining pure strength. Note that these programs are designed to gain strength, not work on aesthetics. They will definitely help you look better, but that's not their focus. New Rules of Lifting for Women and Strong Curves are more aesthetics-oriented, but they will get you stronger as well, just more slowly.

Personally, I started with Starting Strength, moved into 5/3/1 and am about to start Strong Curves since I would like to focus on aesthetics for a while. I did Erin Stern's program on bodybuilding.com for a couple months, and made some really good progress, both strength-wise and aesthetically, but I couldn't maintain that schedule once classes started up again.

As a beginner to strength training, you should look for a full-body routine since that will take advantage of your "noob gains."

I agree with u/loonie_toonie_rooney: If you want to look lean and athletic, your best bet at BMI 22 and 30%BF is almost certainly "recomp": You can remove fat and add muscle. This will make you look toned. And the easiest way to recomp is to lift weights.

Don't worry about looking "too muscley"—even men with their much higher testosterone levels have to work incredibly hard to get big (sigh, I have tiny little arms). Women who lift hard typically end up looking like fitness models instead. (Those bodybuilding women who look like guys are either using steroids, or they're 1-in-a-thousand genetic outliers.)

To learn more about weight training and recomp, see r/fitness, and especially their FAQ. A lot of women also say good things about Strong Curves, although you could get perfectly good results with something simpler. And it's possible to make some very nice progress in about 3 months with a good beginner program.

CICO is about looking good with your clothes on. Strength training and recomp is about looking good in less.

A typical setup might be something like 2×45, 2×25, 4×10, 2×5 and 2×2.5. If you want to reach 225 or more on any lift, you could also add an extra 2×45.

For working on the bench press, I'd also consider looking for 2×1.25 or a set of fractional plates. These aren't mandatory but they're nice. I have this set here and I love it. This is useful because if you put 1.25 on each side of the bar, it increases the total weight by 2.5 pounds, allowing you to improve your bench by 2.5 pounds each workout. If all you have is 2×2.5, you need to go up in 5 pound jumps, which is fine in the beginning, but harder as you get stronger. I'm currently at 160 for 3 sets of 5, and I can currently add 2.5 more per workout with the same rep scheme. If I tried to go up by 5, I'd stall and I'd need to mess with a more complicated rep scheme. More gyms should have fractional plates!

Also, if you're new to lifting, I recommend looking at a good beginner program. Two popular choices are Starting Strength and Strong Lifts. Either of these will show you how to get a lot stronger quickly, using good technique, and will answer hundreds of questions. They also both have good apps.

I LOVE yoga! I really like hard yoga workouts (when I say hard, I mean strength and show off moves). I highly recommend Dylan Werner (he's kickass https://www.alomoves.com/instructors/dylanwerner?instructors=dylanwerner&order=relevance&), Patrick Beach, and Ashley Galvin. I have used the Alo Moves app for years (was formerly named the Cody App). Dylan has some great stretching classes called Elasticity and Plasticity (his true strength series are phenomenal too, heck I love everything he creates). They are very similar to the GMB Focused Flexibility that uses PNF style stretching. Basically, you are remodeling your fascia. Oh, and Steve's Overcoming Poor Posture https://amzn.to/2Ned2tG (same author who wrote OG coupled with Jarlo from GMB) is a great book with some solid stretches. I feel like I just barfed this out and didn't really organize my thoughts for you, but if you tell me more about your yoga goals, I can probably give you better direction. If you are already hitting it hard with strength workouts using your BW, you probably are more interested in stretching and mobility--maintaining or increasing flexibility and range of motion. In addition to the resources I already listed above, I highly recommend "The Supple Leopard" https://amzn.to/2CerED3 . Happy Stretching!

Man ya should have tagged me! Just now getting out of the thick of J&T2 avalanche!!!

I'd say read anything from Dan John about athleticism and training. He's super, duper good. With shoulder specific stuff I've always been a fan of Eric Cressy and regarding hips/squat-typey stuff /u/gnuckols is quickly becoming a top source of info. About programming and S&C principles I'm a huge fan of what Juggernaut Training Systems is doing right now but from the past a quick, enjoyable, and practical book to read is Power by Dr. Fred "Squat" Hatfield. (If I had to choose one for people to read and get a good idea of complex principles that'd be it.)

Anyways, here's a good list. While I haven't read through all of these I have a few and on many occasions read a few chapters a number of times... Thanks Bondarchuk.

This book put a lot of things I considered hard or difficult in perspective. (Also gave me reason to continue going PT God-mode in the Marines.)

The One That Got Away

Really helped develop a broader perspective of whats capable. In the perspective of powerlifiting consider that a decade ago a 1,000 lb. deadlift was a thing. Now it's 100 lb. more. Where's the limit? In your mind.

For actual training information, this stuff was my go to for the in depth and dry kind of stuff. But really helpful for developing a deep and broad understanding of training.

Dinosaur Training

Power by Dr Squat

Powerlifting a Scientific Approach

Bodybuilding a Scientific Approach

Science and Practice, (basically the bible)

Special Strength Training Manual for Coaches

Block Periodization

Block Periodization #2

Transfer of Training in Sports

Transfer of Training #2

Explosive Plyometrics

I don't read much blogs and stuff like that being honest with you.

There are a lot of things you guys need to fix. And with so many movements, I could write paragraphs. If I had the time, I would.

Do some research. YouTube is a great resource. I recommend Alan Thrall. He has some excellent, concise videos on the squat, deadlift, bench, row, and press; all of the exercises you're performing. They cover the basics of each movement, and might help you perform the movements with decent form, but there is a lot that they don't talk about.

For example, it's easy enough to follow cues, such as "squat below parallel", but it would behoove you to understand why you should perform the movement this way. For this, you will need to do more research. I recommend:

Starting Strength 3rd edition by Mark Rippetoe is a great starting place. It is a very in-depth approach to the basic movements: the squat, standing press, bench press, power clean, and snatch. Every trainer should read this book.

I've heard good things about Strength Theory. The website provides complete, free guides to the basic lifts.

Lastly, I encourage you to continue posting to /r/formcheck after you've had some more practice lifting

The easiest way to increase your confidence with women is by working out. It's weirdly not even because it makes you look better or anything, I think there's just some chemical that your body releases when you're working out that makes you more confident. Either that or maybe it's just the empowering feeling that you're improving yourself. Either way, if you haven't worked out before, Starting Strength and their book are great explanations of basic strength training. If gyms are too expensive, you can also google body weight exercises and find a bunch of stuff.

The hard part about working out is really just making it a habit. If you force yourself to work out for 2-3 weeks, you'll start loving it and it will be easy to keep going.

Hobbies are also a good way to increase your self confidence and general happiness. Do you have any hobbies/things your passionate about? Could be especially useful if those hobbies could turn into an actual job.

Dancing lessons are a great way to interact with girls and get more comfortable around them. It doesn't matter if you're a terrible dancer, because everyone else will be too. Most towns have salsa lessons, and some have swing or tango. The first lesson is terrifying, but after that it's easy.

The book of pook is also a really good "book" about getting better with women without all the TRP bullshit.

Really, the overall thing is just to come up with stuff that you think will make your life better, and then try to do it.

I'm also pretty sure you can report that lawyer to the bar association. It might save someone else from getting screwed over by him.

Hello incognitoplant!

• Training-wise, I recommend getting on a great, balanced program of progressive weight training. I advise doing a template of Bret Contreras' Strong Curves program, and training 2-3 times a week. For more info on the philosophy around the program, you could consider reading his book.
  
• Additionally, it is KEY that you track your strength on all of the exercises, as strength is highly indicative of muscle gains. If you plateau, don't try to push through and get yourself into overtraining, but take a step back by lowering the weights and slowly building up to your old weights.
  
  
  
  
• HIIT isn't very specific, and progress is hard to measure. Because of its intense nature, it could interfere with your recovery from strength training. I would advise not to do it anymore.
  
  
  
  
• Low-intensity cardio is just fine! And good for the mind as well. However, limit this to about 2-3 times per week, 20-30 mins, to prevent it from sabotaging your strength/muscle gains.
  
  
  
  
• Eating-wise, I advise eating +0% on your training days, making sure you center your calories and protein around your workout, while you eat -20% (in your case, -340 calories a day) on your rest days.
  This way, you're slowly losing fat, while giving the body enough resources to build muscle in the same time frame.
  
  
  
  Watch your weight once a week:
  If you're staying the same weight or losing weight consistently while you're getting stronger at all your exercises: you're doing it right. You're losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time!
  
  
  Best of luck!

OK, seems you want to increase the curvature of your butt, above it seemed you were saying you wanted to reduce it because it was massive.

Bret Contreras ('the glute guy' corny name but a highly respected trainer nationally and a PhD (or a PhD candidate) ) is one great place to start.

His book here would be your Bible -http://www.amazon.com/Strong-Curves-Womans-Building-Better/dp/1936608642#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1462669142756 though you can get pretty far starting with just a few of the exercises he tends to recommend and using good weight / reps for your goals. You can check his site or his YouTube channel for 'hip thrusts' and start perfecting your technique.

The real question is are you motivated enough to follow thru with a good workout 3 days a week plus good nutrition. Do you have access to a gym as you need and access to good food and the time set aside to follow thru. That's where many people fail. If you want more specifics, just hit me up.

Really great for you for wanting to get into the gym! I'd suggest starting with mobility and stretching exercises for your shoulders--carefully. Especially since you say on is less flexible. Please do be careful and take it slowly. GMB Fitness has a shoulder "causes and solutions for shoulder pain deep dive here that you could maybe use to educate yourself about how your shoulder works (or in your case, doesn't).

While you're working on easing into shoulder work, there are lots of other exercises and ways you can do resistance training. A trainer might be able to help you, but be very careful, as not all know good form. One site that is super useful (but can be hard to find your way around in) is exrx.net. It shows how to do each exercise, as well as what exercise works what muscle. They have a great beginner's page.

Personally, I find it key to have a progressive program or plan, as otherwise I do too much of one thing, or get bored. I started with this book and it was awesome. I like it better than the new edition.

Good luck--we're all rooting for you!

Based on just reading your first sentence it seems your main goal is to lose weight. I would highly advise to focus primarily on nutrition for the first 4-8 weeks then bring in weight training. Weight loss is 80% nutrition based, if you don't master that first all your hard work in the gym will be worthless and your overall goal of weightlifting will likely fail. You can look into paleo, bulletproof diet, slow-carb all of which work well, but the best one is the one you stick with.

Why do you want to weightlift? is it to perform better at a sport, compete in weightlifting events or do you want to look good naked?

Figure out the why to this goal and I can give you a better direction, I would be happy to chat about this because it is a passion of mine and I love to help others out.

As a warning to weightlifting, it can be beneficial but also dangerous if performed incorrectly. 1st being you are unlikely to have the needed mobility to do all of these correctly, 2nd bad form can destroy you. I started kettlebells recently and it took me a month of mobility training to get my squat correct for swings because my hip flexors are so tight. My suggestion is to get your body extremely mobile by doing yoga and the exercises in Becoming a supple leopard. I have spent 100+ hours in the athletic training room because I was reckless in college. Be sure to be patient with understanding form because an injury will be your own fault due to negligence and set you back multiple weeks or months. This will be hard, you will fail, and want to give it up. Be aware of that and make plans on combating them. Set up betting pools with friends, keep yourself accountable. I hope you the best of luck!

here are my go to sources for health and fitness. Ben Greenfield, Bulletproof, Nerd Fitness, Gymnastic Bodies, How to look good naked, NAtural Born Hereos I just read this and it is one of the best books I have read in health, an additictive storyline that teaches you along the way.

Source: NCAA Athlete, Health and Nutrition Enthusiast, Obstacle Course Racer

Sure! I bought the book, and I honestly think the book is worth the purchase because there's a lot of good information in there in addition to pictures/descriptions of all the workouts. I knew how to do some of the exercises, but not all of them. There were two in fact that even my trainer had to look at and sort.

What I did was I took the book to him, said I wanted to do this program and could he read the book and then could we do it together. He and I have a really good relationship, He's trained with me through half of my major weightloss (24kg), and now through my beginning bodybuilding, so he knew I was quite firm on finding a new fitness challenge. But the reason I picked him in the first place was because he listened to me when I told him what I wanted to work towards, and he only pushes me in regards to finishing sets or putting in that bit extra when I'm failing, etc. There's all sorts of trainers out there, and I think their willingness to try something like this is a good test factor. He was a bit skeptical at first (in that he wanted to make sure it was a complete program), but when I explained why and he read the science in the book, it's actually sparked some really great conversations between sets.

You can do the exercises at home, as there's a way to do them at home and at the gym, but having him there to do them with me 1-2 times a week really makes a difference. We rack more weight and he can help me set up better (more equipment), and he's great for checking my form and spotting me if I'm tiring hard at the end, which finally happened the past couple of weeks.

Current results as I now went into the second 'round' of doing the sessions and also upped to twice a week PT: I went from lifting 130lbs to 270 lbs for my hip thrusts, 40ish lbs to now 70 lbs for the straight leg deadlifts, I use the 12kg weights now for individual arm stuff as opposed to the 8kg, and my marine presses/etc went way up as well, but I didn't log at the beginning, so I can't tell you other than I added at least 10kg on them.

You can buy the book here at Amazon.

I hope some of this helps.

I am not a doctor, but

http://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-3rd-Mark-Rippetoe/dp/0982522738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412998621&sr=8-1&keywords=starting+strength

worth every penny, especially the kindle version for only $10.

Honestly, you are the reason this book was written, Rippetoe et al have a hardon for improving the lives of people with medical issues like arthritis and the elderly. They are all about "the barbell is medicine", and they have a few great success stories for sure.

I HIGHLY recommend posting in Rippetoe's Q&A at :

http://startingstrength.com/resources/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=129

He will sort you out, though he can be rude, abrasive, and opinionated.

I guess my last piece of "wisdom" is that, no your legs may be relatively strong from that activity, but they are not "strong" as a barbell can help you make them. Bros don't let bros skip leg day.

This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, by the way. I hope you follow at least some of it and post back in 3-6 months saying how awesome you feel because of squats and shit.