Reddit mentions: The best sleep disorder books

This sounds like me a few years ago. My husband's career was more promising than mine and daycare in our area was going to be just as much (once we had two) as my paycheck so I decided to stay home with our first (and now second) child. For me, it's all about tackling the week. Sometimes just that day or that next ten minutes, but usually the week.

1. Meals: Food is important. It's hard to focus on feeding yourself when the baby is crying or wanting to play or pulling at your leg but meals need to be made or else blood sugar dropping results in an irritable momma. Try to prep meals in the evenings after the baby is sleeping and cut up veggies/fruit during his nap time for snacks. I try to create a menu at the beginning of the week and do my shopping so I don't have to go to the store all the time and I know how much time I need to budget for prep/cooking. Right now short and quick dishes or crock pot meals are your friend. (Ex: Stir fry, pasta, fajitas, ribs, stews, etc.)
   
   
2. Tidying Up: Everyone has a different level of what clean/dirty is to them. It'll vary as the child grows. The crawling period is the hardest since you need to make sure there isn't anything that can be a choking hazard so sweeping/mopping has to happen more often. For me, I use the cloth carrier if the baby refuses to be put down and I strap her to my back and clean for an hour. Whatever I get done in that time, yee haw. Whatever I don't... oh well. If you are stable enough financially, you may want to enlist someone to come once a month or maybe twice a month to deep clean if that makes you feel better. Also, and this is key, try to delegate a few chores to your husband. Nothing crazy time consuming but just so you know that you guys are in it together. I usually start the laundry and he will help fold when he gets home. Not only does this help get stuff done but it also gives the spouse a greater appreciation for all that you do while they are away.
   
   
3. Time Management: Once the baby starts to develop a schedule (it usually happens between 3 and 5 months) then you can start to get out of the house. If the weather is terrible, just go to the mall if you have to but you need to give yourself an hour or two a day where you can talk about stuff other than singing about a farm or cleaning up spit-up. I found a fitness class at the community center that had babysitting which was awesome. I also found a local mom group so the babies can sit together and the moms can chat. These kinds of get togethers also give you goals to get out of the house. Our current schedule is 6-7 AM wake up, feed both kids, send the older to pre-school, then tidy up, by 9 AM I take a walk or do some other physical activity for an hour, then nap time from 10-11 AM. Then get out of the house for a playdate or grocery shopping. Eat lunch out or at home then nap. Then play with the child until she feeds again, then pick up older child, make dinner and hubby comes home. This book really helped me with sleep training and getting both of my kids on a reliable schedule.
   
   
4. Do Something For You: Remember when you loved playing that one sport as a kid or enjoyed doing that craft in college? Try to find time for that. Join a local team that has a practice when your hubby can watch the baby and try to do the craft during naps or in the evenings. Also, see if you can join in some charity work. Once the baby has all of his shots, you can try to help others such as visiting an old folks home (they love the babies) or helping tutor somewhere family friendly. This will help you feel like more than just a mom but a member of the community.
   
   
5. Date Night: This seems far away right now but remember what brought you and your husband together in the first place. Try to take some time to go out without the baby so you can feel like the sexy woman you are. Also, try to do a girls night out with your friends.
   
   
6. Friends: Yes, this is hard to hear but you will lose some friends when you have kids. There are career driven people out there who don't want a family and don't understand why one would slow down for it. It is also harder to relate when you aren't at work with them every day anymore. This is the time to see who makes the effort to stay in touch and who you make the effort for. Maintaining friends is harder once you have kids but it's easier now with social media. Try to schedule dinners so they come to your place so you don't have to worry about taking the kid out but you can still socialize. The good news is, many people gain some new friends with kids. You are part of a club that is relatable to so many and is a great conversation topic. Chat it up with other parents on the playground, at the library, etc.
   
   
7. Remember Why You Had Kids: To show them the world, to see life through new eyes, to understand how your parents raised you.... My friend put it best when she said, "We still do what we want to do, it might just take a little longer to get it done." She and her husband still travel around the US, they just have to carry more crap with them. Embrace what you bring to the table not just what you do on a daily basis. Since he's 4 months, you can play whatever music you want, listen to NPR (can you tell I'm a bad*ss), get jiggy with it and he'll probably just look and smile.
   
   TL;DR: Create a daily routine, get out of the house and try to get in touch with what you love outside of the baby. You go momma! :-)

I agree a lot with istara.. Bedtime for babies and young children needs to be between 6 and 8, most settling around 7pm. If the bedtime is too late, the baby will not get good sleep (big difference between a long sleep and good sleep) and will be up early early in the morning. Sleep begets sleep, as weird as it sounds. Goes for naps too- they need a lot of 'em! You'll think she's over-sleeping, but honestly... The more sleep, the less overtired, the happier the baby.

7 weeks, IMO, is a bit young to expect any kind of schedule. Babies that young change it up like every 2 days. Never to early to start a bedtime routine, but don't expect it to just put the baby out every night. However. Consistency is key- she will learn that this routine means relaxing time and eventually, in a few months, (hopefully) it'll work like a charm.

Most doctors agree that after 4 months it's perfectly fine to start sleep training. This does not have to mean the Cry It Out method at all. Don't be scared off. It just means that it's time to seriously start instilling some good sleep habits in your child. Make bed (either crib or family bed) a safe place and keep it for sleeping. Don't let her play in there, don't put her in there when you need a second to poop or whatever. Use a pack n play or a bouncer or something for that instead.

Do as much cuddle time as you want in the bedtime routine- but try to put her down when she's still partially awake, but very sleepy. She will better learn to self-soothe and to put herself back to sleep on her own when she wakes up in the night (and doesn't need something). Believe me from experience... That one's an important step. When my girl gets rocked to deep sleep, she still will wake up multiple times in the night and won't go back out unless hubs or I re-tucks her in. When I do bedtime and put her down with a kiss and awake, she sometimes fusses for 4-6 minutes before falling asleep, but then she sleeps like a log AND will just roll over and go back to sleep when she stirs between sleep cycles. I think had I started sleep training earlier, we could have avoided the fussing completely. It is phasing out though.

I recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Not all of it is great advice, but a lot of it is and it also gives you some guidelines to follow regarding how much sleep is needed by age, biological sleep facts, and tips for getting into that awesome sleep groove with babies and children of any age.

As for our personal routine with my 10.5 month old:

Wake up between 6 and 6:30am.
First nap between 8 and 9am for 1 to 1.5 hours (unless a day like today when she did 30 minutes and Dad got her up and then she fussed ALL MORNING.)
Second nap right after lunch (between 11:30am and noon) for 2 to 2.5 hours.
Dinner between 5 and 5:30, bath if it's bath night (every other night), play time, bottle, books and songs, in crib between 6:30 and 7:30 (depending on how her naps were that day). I purposely do her bottle pretty early- sometimes right after dinner/bath- because I want to make it easier on myself when it's time to wean. I'm hoping that by the time she's 12 months, she'll be taking that last bottle in a sippie cup with dinner. My girl knows the routine... When it gets to the second book or "You are my Sunshine," she pulls her puppy up to her nose, lays her head down on my chest and sighs. Then I know she's ready to go into her bed. There's never usually a fight at all.

I know that was A LOT, but I hope it helps! Good luck!

I can't speak to the No-Cry or Ferber methods because I am not well read on either, I can just tell you how Happy Sleeper works. (very brief, totally incomplete explaination. I highly recommend getting the book.)

Starting at about 2 months, build your naps around a 90 minute wake cycle, regardless of how long the naps are. As soon as baby wakes, start the clock. Around 75 minutes, start the nap routine (an abridged version of the bedtime routine). 90 minutes, down for nap. After a few weeks of this, the timing should start to sync up and you'll start to see your baby's natural rhythm take shape and form a schedule.

Bedtime (lights-out) should be 7-7:30, so start the bedtime routine earlier to prepare. Bedtime routine should be the same every night, so baby can learn the predictable progression of steps and pick up on cues that say "ok, its bedtime, I know what this means and I can relax because I know what happens next.") Ex. Feed->Bath->Massage->Song->Bed (drowsy but awake).

Once down, utilize the Soothing Ladder, a progression of intervention steps that help avoid overhelping and give your baby the chance to start learning self-soothing without expecting them to do it all at once. You might rush in to sooth your crying baby by picking them up when all they may have needed was a little shushing. You work your way up the ladder as needed and again, your baby begins to predict the steps and feel more confident about what to expect. Example of ladder steps would be:

7. Feed
6. Pick baby up and gently rock
5. Jiggle baby in bed
4. Your touch, pat on the head, tummy rub, etc.
3. Replace pacifier/lovey
2. Sound of your voice, talking, shushing, etc.

1. Your presence in the room.
   
   You work your way up the ladder, spending only 10-15 seconds on each, but not skipping steps. For instance, you may find baby is calmed just by a little head pat instead of a full pick up and rocking.
   
   At about 5 months, the "sleep training" can begin because baby now has the cognitive ability to self-soothe, they may just need help building the skills. (I will be ultra brief here because my LO only turned 5 months today so we haven't tried this in practice yet.) Naps should still be on the 90-minute wake cycle until about 6-7 months, then you can shift to a time-of-day schedule.
   
   Bedtime success hinges on the early bedtime and consistent bedtime routine. The change here is ditching the Soothing Ladder and moving to the Sleep Wave. The goal here is to pass the baton of soothing to your child, but assure them that you support their independence. You come and go in a reliable way, responding to your baby in a way that is responsive, predictable, consistent, which becomes hypnotic.
   
   Sleep Wave steps:
   
   
2. Put baby down drowsy but awake. Give baby a pat and say your "goodnight script", which should be the same every time you leave the room after this point. Ex. "Its time for sleeping. Mommy's right outside. I love you."
   
   
3. 5-minute check. If baby starts to cry (really cry, not fuss, grunt or whine), wait 5 minutes. Go into the room where the baby can see and hear you, say your script and walk out. The check is only to let baby know you're there. Limit the visit to 7-10 seconds.
   
   
4. If baby is still crying, repeat step 2 exactly. If baby stops crying, start the clock over again and wait another 5 minutes if they cry again.
   
   
5. Wake-up time should be 11 hours after bedtime. Before this 11 hour mark, use the Sleep Wave to go back to bed, but after 11 hours, greet your baby and let them know its morning and give lots of morning cues (open the blinds, smile, etc.). This will help reaffirm the circadian rhythm and help baby determine the what it feels like when its time to wake for the day versus when they need to go back to sleep.
   
   What sold me on this method is the way it explains this approach as balanced. On the one hand, you want to support the need for closeness and help in a way that is nurturing, lots of touch, skin-to-skin and eye contact. On the other hand, you want to support their need for separation and independence with exploration, mastery persistence and confidence. Attunement holds both of these approaches in a balanced way that is supportive of both these needs for baby (and you!).
   
   Hope this wall-of-text was helpful. There's so much that is worth reading that isn't in this post, so if this resonates with you at all, I highly recommend you pick up the book. It really spoke to me and I haven't been able to put it down! Best wishes and happy sleeping!

We went with the Shenandoah University Childcare Center. It’s off of exit 315. You don’t have to be a student or faculty to get your child, but I believe you get a discount if you are, and you get to “cut in line” so to speak. We had to wait 6-9 months for an opening. I can’t really speak to any other daycare because this one was so highly recommended by family and we really liked the tour... so we never actually looked into any other daycare!

My son started when he was in the toddler class, so we didn’t see the infant or baby rooms, but in the toddler and 2’s classes he’s done very well. He eats so much better now because they (in a kind way!) tell your child basically “this is breakfast/lunch/snack, this is what you’re going to eat.” They’re always learning whether it’s about colors or numbers or just how to play together and share. You can call anytime and they always seem happy to chat about how your child is doing that day, and always take the time to talk to you about their day when picking them up. The classes especially in the youngest years are pretty small. I really love the teachers he’s had. Makayla (not sure how you spell her name...) and Katherine were both absolutely amazing in the toddler class. I felt very happy that Katherine was going to be working in the 2’s class a couple months before my son moved up to that one.

By the way, I’m sure you’ll get endless advice about parenting you never wanted, but... this book changed my life. The practices in it worked amazing with our son and he sleeps soooo well. Rest, my god.

I feel for you mama <3 I went through the same thing. Sleep deprivation is brutal. I don't have the time to post a long coherent comment right now (it's midnight here in Canada) but didn't want to leave without sending you a hug, and maybe a few ideas. First off, could your baby be high-needs ? (mine was, he's now a happy and healthy 3 year-old who still doesn't sleep through the night, like his mom and dad, who also don't sleep through the night ;) High-needs babies/toddlers have a more excitable central nervous system, and are notorious bad sleepers -- but in the end, they grow up to be as happy and healthy as their calmer friends. But that doesn't make things easier right now, does it :(
We have a family bed, and nursed / comforted him to sleep every single time. I know how hard it is. Maybe you can get some help during the day so you can take a decent nap, at least ? Maybe papa can take her on weekend mornings and go for a long walk with her in a carrier, while you catch up on zzz's ?
I will try to sign in tomorrow to send you some links, but I found this little blog post by Racheous from Respectful Parenting with several interesting links which are very attachment-oriented, as well as this one written by a mama going though the same thing. Evolutionary Parenting has several good articles on sleep training and its effect on infant development.
You can also get Dr James McKenna's book, Sleeping with your baby and many other resources that can be tailored to your preferences. Anyway... wish I could give you a hand. Please get help so you can rest a little. Parenting is crazy hard and was never intended to be done in solitude... We all need support. You're doing a great job mama ! Hang in there ! <3

Are you more frustrated by the fact that there are multiple endings, or that the endings are unsatisfactory and anticlimactic?

For the former, as others have pointed out, save scumming is an easy way around having to replay multiple times to get each ending. It's nice if you're short on time.

For the latter, well...expecting Souls games to have a powerful ending that ties the story together and gives you a sense of accomplishment will always leave you disappointed. The endings are meaningful and thought provoking, but it's in the same way that the rest of the story is: obscure and relying heavily on interpretation. But now you have the exciting opportunity to reflect on what happened and try to understand its implications, and to read what others have posted here about it. :)

As for using guides...yeah, it's a tough call. If you're okay with needing to replay a game a few times to 100% it, then skip the guide. If not, I recommend trying to find a spoiler-free guide to help you make sure you don't miss much. Personally, what I find most infuriating is the easy-to-miss NPC questlines.

Congrats on the baby, and good luck! To maximize your leisure time as a Dad, I highly recommend this book for sleep training: http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593. Worked like a charm for us over the last 2 years. Getting them onto a sleep schedule that gives you a few free hours a night is a life-saver!

1- I highly, highly recommend 'the happy sleeper'. It provides a really good breakdown on what is involved physically, emotionally and mentally with children's sleep. It provides a guide for helping your child learn to self soothe, how to take a step back and let them figure out sleep for themselves and eventually also training them. It starts off with a 'sleep ladder' before you actually start training, in order to help your kids learn to sleep while not getting in their way. Once your kid is a certain weight and is ready (this varies from kid to kid) you can move on to actual sleep training. Four months might be a bit young, typically the recommendation is 6 months (though we started at 5 and a half on the reco of our pediatrician and it was fine).

Building a solid routine and helping them navigate their own self soothing techniques is critical to infant sleep. Your routine should be exactly the same every night, regardless of your routine. Ours is change to PJ's, massage, quick feed, story, song/dance and then sleep. Once you get to that point you can try their 'sleep wave' technique to get them to sleep through the night.

BTW I discovered that sleep training is highly polarizing on reddit (and elsewhere?) and people have feelings about it. I land solidly on the side of the data available, which overwhelmingly says that teaching your kid how to safely sleep by themselves early in life leads to healthy sleep habits later.

2- For sleep sacks and 'fussiness', reading 'the happy sleeper' really helped me re-evaluate what I saw as 'fussiness'. What tends to happen is they'll fall asleep safely in your arms and will wake up in a new environment, and basically go: "Hey, this isn't how I fell asleep!" The book (and most other techniques) recommend putting your baby down half drowsy so they wake up in the same environment they fall asleep in. The 'fussy' part, where they kick and move around and flail, this can be part of your baby learning how to self-soothe. My daughter used to do this and would raise her legs up and hold them up against the sides of the crib - I thought she was just being really fussy and this wasn't comfortable so I would gently move them down. MISTAKE. This is how she self-soothes! She does it 4 months after sleep training and it's part of her own routine.

3 - I don't think there are any recommended medications to help kids sleep. Babies sleep like garbage after the first few months until they learn how to self-soothe and you sleep train them (or they eventually learn on their own). It's just life, I'm afraid.

Also about the pillow - unless your baby actually has flat head and this is something your doctor prescribed, I would absolutely not have it in the crib. The WHO and many other orgs are very clear about this - nothing should be in the crib except your baby, safely in their sleep sack. That's it. If this is a 'preventative' measure you have to carefully weigh the small odds of possibly getting flat head (and you'll know it if it happens and it's very easy to treat) vs the very real dangers of having anything that can harm your babies breathing, be it through covering them or putting them into a position they can't get out of. Also you said your baby is fussy and moving around a lot - they won't get flat head if they're doing this!

1. We have Pack n'Plays as travel cribs but not at home so I can't comment. We have whichever my mom found at the kids consignment shop.
   
   
2. We started out in a 1 bedroom apartment with our twins and had to get the second crib at 6 months as one girl would wiggle over and bother her sleeping sister. We tried a foam crib divider but they crawled right over it. Swaddle for as long as they will let you.
   
   
3. The girls shared a bouncer for a bit when they were very small (Adorable proof! They are about a month old in that photo.) When they got too big for that bought one swing and got a second soon after. To save space consider swing frames for your car seats like this http://www.amazon.com/SnugGlider-Infant-Seat-Swing-Frame/dp/B000M4K4BY
   
   
4. Started out with the BabyTend Snap and Go Double which accepts all kinds of different seats: http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Double-Stroller-Frame/dp/B000LEI82W It was sometimes unweildy for me but my husband liked it. Graduated to a double jogger as soon as we found one on Craigslist that we liked.
   
   As for books we liked Raising Twins from Pregnancy to Preschool http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Twins-From-Pregnancy-Preschool/dp/1581103441
   
   and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Healthy Twins which totally saved our lives living in a small space with twins.
   http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Twins/dp/0345497791
   
   Finally buy yourself at least 4-6 swaddlers in the small size.
   http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dbaby-products&field-keywords=swaddleme
   
   You can pick cotton or fleece depending on what your weather is like in March but we found they were are absolutely essential. You may even need to buy a second round in the larger size but don't get them until it's clear the kids are outgrowing the smaller ones.
   

I have a similar arc and would like to emphasize a few things that I find important. Please take these suggestions with a hefty grain of salt because my journey is ongoing, I've slipped many a times, and each person is unique in their own right so what is categorically important for me may not be the same for you.

1. Please, please, quit chewing tobacco. I did it for 5 years myself while a college athlete. It's gross and worse the damage it can cause to your gums is irreversible. The stuff isn't worth it and one of my biggest regrets is the damage I caused (evident in every smile...)
   
2. Ditch pornography. The single worst thing to ever happen to me was stumbling upon that filth.
   
3. Make it a priority to get a restful night of sleep. Like routinely. Don't skimp on it because really anything less than 7-8 hours and you greatly increase the risk of lapsing back into bad habits.
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316
   
   That link is a great book changed my whole outlook on the importance of proper rest.
   
   Just to tie this back to fasting somewhat, seeing as it is a fasting sub lol, I, like many others and yourself as well I'm sure, have found fasting to be an incredible way of providing emotional and mental clarity.
   
   Overall, I think what you're doing is awesome! I'm 26, so not too far from you age wise, but I feel like (and i don't mean to come off as elitist or anything) mindsets like this are definitely in the minority in today's society or at least in our age cohort.
   
   Oh and lastly be careful with your reintroduction of food on the longer fasts. This is anecdotal, but I've found that when indulging in my 5 day fast refeeds, I generally will crash, and subsequently find myself prone to start entertaining the idea of going out and buying a tin or firing up my computer and searching some illicit site.
   
   Be vigilant with yourself but don't beat yourself too much if you slip. I've found it's a fine line to walk. Anyways, apologies for the rant. Best of luck in adhering to the plan you've set forth and hopefully it will reap great things for you in the same way that I hope mine does for me as well.

If you are a breastfeeding family you should check out Sweet Sleep.
http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Sleep-Nighttime-Strategies-Breastfeeding/dp/0345518470

If you don't want to buy it contact a local La Leche League Leader and see if you can borrow a copy. www.llli.org.

Do NOT swaddle WHILE bed-sharing. If you swaddle a baby you should put them in a crib or side-car style bassinet. If they are swaddled and anything obstructs their breathing they won't be able to help themselves. Happiest Baby methods are great for calming but once baby is asleep you can unswaddle.
Happiest baby video:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=guRi6zyFHtw

Bed sharing is extremely safe if you are prepared for it. With a baby this small you need a firm mattress and baby should be sleeping on the outside of mom (away from dad or other bed sharers) for a few weeks. Mom will naturally sleep side lying and create a safe space with her elbows and knees framing baby. If she normally sleeps belly or back she may benefit from a body pillow or regular pillow along her back to prop her up.

If you can, put your mattress on the floor. This eliminates the danger of falling. Once baby is mobile the room should be baby proofed and either gated or with a closed door. This allows mom and dad to continue to sleep and baby could move around the room and entertain himself safely.

OP, also remember that babies as small as yours need help regulating their breathing and body temperature. That's why baby is so comfortable on your chest. Try taking sleeping shifts for a few days just to get over the exhaustion. Then you can work on sleeping at the same time again. Good luck!

I've tried a ton of stuff to fix my 'sleep maintenance insomnia'. I can only sleep 5 hours then still tired but wake up. I literally have almost no stress in my life right now (unusual I know) so don't think CBT will help. I've also used at least 5 sleep trackers: Zeo, Beddit, ResMed, FitBit and a couple more.

The fascinating thing about Trazadone is it great increases my deep sleep according to my ResMed tracker (the best and surprisingly cheapest sleep tracker). I'm still short on total sleep and experimenting again with melatonin - specifically REMFresh mentioned by my psychologist.

I've not had nightmares from Trazadone in the last several months, but I also almost never have nightmares so am not currently pre-disposed. I don't watch horror movies though.

Sorry about the anxiety and depression.

Also a friend just recommended this book which is great: https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

I've read a dozen books and hundreds of other articles. Reading this is the first time I've learned new and clarifying information in a long time. It is extremely well researched + written by a world class sleep expert. It's also on Audible which is great if you have tired eyes like me.

Hope some of that's helpful. Though not all pointedly answering your question these are the most valuable things I've learned in the last year.

I'd recommend trying to cut out horror movies and continuing with the trazadone. My gf loves horror too. It distracts her from her anxiety and though I don't claim to be an expert it logically self perpetuates some of these issues. I have other behaviors I need to break which perpetuate mine as well.

I recently finished reading a book called Why We Sleep that changed the way I think about it in a dramatic way.

The author (Matthew Walker) addresses the issue of insomnia and offers tips to overcome insomnia.

He talks about using a specific form of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) as a way to address underlying sleep problems instead using a band-aid approach. There are some apps for CBT-I, but I don't have any experience using them.

Looking at your situation, there are a few tips that will probably be more helpful than others. First things first: define a time to go to sleep and a time to wake up. Stick to those times every single day, even weekends. If your experience is anything like mine, it could take 4-6 weeks to get used to the change.

Next, if you're laying in bed unable to fall asleep (after 20-30 minutes), get up and do something relaxing. You want your bed to be associated with sleep and rest, not anxiety from not being about to sleep.

I often use the Sleep With Me podcast to help me fall asleep. Highly recommend giving that a try.

It's worth nothing that melatonin isn't actually effective, except in older people and while trying to deal with jet lag.

If you're a fan of the Joe Rogan podcast, the Matthew Walker episode is basically his book condensed into a two hour conversation.

ETA: Rogan podcast
List of good sleep tips
The book also goes into the negative effects of sleeping pills, as well as the incredible benefits of good sleep. Highly recommend for a better understanding of what is going on and things you can do to make the changes.

>Lasik is a horrible example

Fair. I hesitated to use it but decided to use the first medical example that came to mind. I will say though that from everything I've read lately, I don't think the procedure is as dangerous as made out to be. Serious, lasting side effects percentage-wise are still low and improving despite the issues. I also think there needs to be due diligence on the part of the patient. I probably wouldn't get Lasik myself, but if I ever do, I'm going to do my research to find a reputable program for it and understand the risks. I'll also note, there are many 'regulated' procedures done in fancy hospitals that I would never agree to because they also pose a level of risk that I'm not comfortable with. There's risk in any health procedure.

>but your argument breaks down when early detection and payment of say heart medications would increase quality of life and make patients live longer and overall be cheaper to everyone, insurers and providers.

1. I recommend the book "Overdiagnosed" by Dr. Gilbert Welch. Not part of this conversation, but thought provoking on the issue of early detection.
   
2. We can have 'free market' healthcare with out of pocket expenses for medication and still cheap costs. Here I suggest reading into a relatively new field in healthcare called "direct primary care". It's essentially a primary care service that covers normal doctor visits, all kinds of minor procedures, and basic medications for a single monthly subscription. They can do stitches, BP or heart medication, etc all under that subscription since they can buy the stuff wholesale. It's really interesting stuff that skirts insurance companies.
   
   >Same with diabetes. Figure it out very early, start treatment and get people healthier, because now many who can barely afford to see a doctor are doing just what you say, having catastrophic insurance and waiting until there is a problem not easily fixed.
   
   Agreed, people need to focus on prevention. But I think the current mentality is misguided and focuses on band-aid fixes instead of correcting the root cause. The western lifestyle is horrible for our health. Very little sleep (another good read), very little exercise, and a horrendous diet. Get people 8+ hrs of sleep, get them moving around more, and get them eating more veggies seems like a much better plan than "here's a pill that will help your BP but will also give you bad side effects". Not against pills entirely, but it should be reserved for when lifestyle improvements aren't enough; supplemental use. These changes would free up healthcare resources which also lowers costs since we have an increasing amount of people in poor health and a healthcare system struggling to keep up with demand. Insulin is a different topic that I can't accurately explain in short, but here are 2 articles that begin to break into that discussion: 1, 2.
   
   >Much like a dentist. See one twice a year, catch things early and saves a ton of money compared to waiting until something hurts and spending a metric ton and going into debt.
   
   The experience may vary persons to person, but I personally don't have dental insurance (not saying it's for everyone). I pay out of pocket for yearly cleanings and it ends up costing less than dental insurance (tell them you'll pay cash upfront). I also focus on a good diet without lots of sugar and processed foods to support teeth health. Both are preventative measures, neither require insurance, and both will save me money in the long run.
   
   >On top of all that, prior to WWII, if you could see a doctor which was not nearly as readily available now, you didn't have expensive tests, or medications. The doc knew from what experience they had or it was simply palliative care.
   
   You are correct. However tech tends to improve in service and cost over time so while it may be more expensive, I don't think it has to be extraordinarily more expensive. Look at electronics. We get crazy new tech every year with all these new features, and every year, that same tech goes way down in cost, even after inflation. Many things we take for granted today were unattainable to everyone but the rich back when they first came out (cars, phones, computers, AC, etc).
   
   >but it simply is just a conservative vs liberal argument and goes no where.
   
   It often is, I'll agree there as well. I wish it wasn't, and I personally do not argue for either side because I have disagreements with both sides. I just want to provide a viewpoint not many people hear because I passionately believe that we're better off fixing our problems on our own (or at least at the local govt level) than relying on a massive bureaucratic central govt.
   
   >the overhaul of healthcare in the US which you or I are def not intelligent enough to do alone.
   
   I think the fact we can both dig in this deep and not resort to insults represents a minimum level of intelligence. And maybe this is blind optimism, but I also think the solutions aren't as complex once we start really digging into the root cause of the problem and fixing things little by little (easier said than done). I'm also willing to bet we have plenty of common ground, maybe not as much on solutions, but on what the issues are. I find that promising.

I haven't shouted at my LO yet (because I don't shout much, not because I haven't been angry/frustrated), but I have certainly sworn at her. Several times last week when she decided naps were for chumps. (I have a whole new appreciation for the "Go the F@ck to Sleep" book now.) I think your SO just needs a few more tools and the understanding that it is ALWAYS ok to wake you for backup when he gets to that point. My partner has certainly had to tell ME that and at five months, we now tag out better than we used to. That desire to protect your partner from the thing that's overwhelming you is an admirable, but not helpful instinct.

As others have mentioned, I recommend the Five S's. I'd also get this book from the library: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Guide-Great-Sleep/dp/0062113321 It is a little less longwinded than the first Happiest Baby and has advice up into the toddler years.

ETA: Oh, and when it comes to baby refusing a bottle or boob (something my baby does a lot), if you use a pacifier, the bait and switch technique works every time. Pacifier calms baby, then you pop it out and put in the bottle or boob.

For actual pregnancy, I loved the American college of obstetrics and gynecology's book and I know a lot of people loved the mayo clinic book.


Planning for Pregnancy, Birth And Beyond: Second Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525941401/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_PLZHAbPZ6V85C


Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! https://www.amazon.com/dp/1561487171/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_tMZHAbRTF0RMQ


I also read what to expect when your expecting but it was a lot of the same info in my apps, except the actual birth and labor part. There was some helpful stuff in there!


For laboring I read Ina May's guide to Childbirth and I LOVED it. I feel SO prepared after reading it!


Ina May's Guide to Childbirth https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381156/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_VNZHAbQ7T2S9D


I tried to read

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452276594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_HOZHAbRC89D39


But I couldn't take it seriously!


And for breastfeeding I read


The American Academy of Pediatrics New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding (Revised Edition): Completely Revised and Updated Third Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399181989/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_9PZHAbSMPXVX9


And for baby feeding and sleeping I read


On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1932740139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_JQZHAbS5P7824

I am a 29 year old with a 3 year old and a pair of twin 1 year olds. I can tell you that kids will flat wear her out to the point that she will go to bed earlier. Before kids my wife stayed up with me almost every night. After baby(ies) she knocks out at around 10pm. From 10pm on, the night is mine.


It might take some time but your first order of business is get that baby on a regular sleep schedule to where it is sleeping through the night. Here is my Holy Grail that got my twins sleeping 10 hours through the night by 8 weeks. Wife rejoiced. She got to sleep more and I got to play more.


It doesn't stop there. With all the sleeping she'll be doing, you better make up your lost time with her while she is awake by doing things that make her (or you both) happy. Happy wife = Happy life. It's taken a lot of work to get where I can balance game time with family time and still make a happy marriage, but it's definitely doable.


Bonus: when your toddler starts turning into Stewie (like mine has) and nags the wife non-stop, she'll sometimes just go upstairs to have alone mommy time. Game time for dad!

Dr. McKenna's Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory is another great source for evidence-based and clear best practices (OP, you might not need this as much but I wanted to add this to the list of mentioned sites). I highly recommend it, as well as his book.

My parents did bedsharing with all of us, but even so I was a little nervous about the prospect of it! But after reading McKenna's book and browsing the website resources, I feel much more informed and comfortable about the prospect of bedsharing (if it works for baby), and ready to take on the naysayers because there's plenty of evidence that when done safely it's a great sleep practice!

Great question! I want to check out some of the other books mentioned here.

Our household also believes in free-range parenting, and I'm so with you on sleep being a priority. Our LO is 5 weeks old now, and I've found two that are helpful on sleep:

• [Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child] (https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0553394800/ref=pd_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YJTSVZWD3FQYRA9HP7RK) by Marc Weisbluth
  
• Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber
  
  The first book was recommended by a co-worker who had good luck with it. It gives a good overview of what to expect week-by-week, month-by-month and into childhood. Basically, it takes about 6 weeks for circadian rhythms to develop, so until then the goal is just to learn to put the baby down "drowsy, but awake," so that she learns how to self-soothe and fall asleep on her own, rather than depending on a parent to rock her to sleep. We're not sleeping through the night yet, but we're pretty consistently seeing 3 and 4 hour stretches at night, and naps are getting shorter to compensate.
  
  I'm only about halfway through Ferber, and I really like how it goes into sleep cycles. Basically, babies start with 5-10 minutes of REM, then fall into deep sleep. So when she's extra fussy and needs to be rocked to sleep, I know I can watch for the REM cycle to complete, then put her down when she's in deep sleep. Much of the sleep training content won't be appropriate until our baby is older. I like that it's not straight up "cry it out," but more strategies to get a baby/child to sleep with limited crying. Here's hoping that starting early works.
  
  BTW, I loved Expecting Better. Such a relief to drink coffee guilt-free. I think the author is working on an evidence-based book about infants, but I'm not sure when it will be out.
  

It will pass, but may return around 7 months. I’m reading this (DD is 6 months). Highly recommended by a friend who said it saved his sanity and marriage with two kids.

The Sleep Lady®'s Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1593155581/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_hz4FDb9CG44CE

Man, those first few mi the are so hard and your feelings are normal. I know it can be alarming to have intrusive thoughts like that. And they can make you feel like a weirdo, but most sleep deprived people have them - they just don't talk about them.

It's been a long time (my twins are 24 now) but I do remember things got incredibly easier once they could sit up and move around a bit. Closer to 6 months. I promise it will get better! There were nights I let them sleep in their swings because we all just needed some sleep.

I have a two year old now and I breastfed him during the night for a year. After a year of everyone (baby too) getting crap sleep I was so tired and so stressed that I began to feel emotionally unstable, and I finally broke down and bought a sleep training book. Anyway it changed our lives! My only regret is that I didn't sleep train sooner. I could have saved myself a lot of struggle. I know your babies are quite young, but they do have methods for little ones as well. Here is the book I used. The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0757305601

I liked this book's method because I would write down how long he fussed at each sleep time and how long he slept. After a few days I had data and could see there was actual progress (less fussing, more sleeping). When he slept through the night I don't think I've had a happier day. Our lives improved tenfold after experiencing a full night sleep again and on a regular basis. With your wife going back to work soon I'd definitely try something. What is there to lose?

The book continued to be helpful. I've referred to it at each new stage. Like going from three naps to two, and two to one. And going from crib to bed.

Best of luck!

I used a Merlin Magic Suit for the transition from swaddle to sleep sack. It helped a lot for us, but I know for other babies it did nothing. That was also around the time when we decided to sleep train. working and getting up 4-5x a night was manageable at first, but as my lack of sleep built up I could feel myself becoming unstable and an emotional mess. I've had a lot of success with Precious Little Sleep and my sisters have with their babies as well. We all BF as well. Good luck!!! In the meantime, lots of coffee <3

​

Editing to add: Since it may be awesome and it may be a crapshoot, I would recommend getting a second hand Merlin suit. I wouldn't have paid full price. I borrowed one for my first then bought one second hand which is now hanging out in the closet for whenever I have another.

That is so tough. I had a similar sleep issue with my then 9 month old (she is now 23 months) waking up hourly. I had given up at night time and my husband had to take over because I just couldn't do anymore. I had no idea what sleep deprivation could do. People at work told me I turned mean.

Luckily, I found a sleep trainer in my area who advocated the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" - it's a gradual approach to helping little ones get used to sleeping on their own, with the parent by their side. Our problem was that we would rush into the room the second she cried so she always expected us to get her back to sleep, she didn't know how to put herself to sleep. Here is the book:

The Sleep Lady®'s Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1593155581/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_XTiSCbKNANBBE

You could also reach out on their website if you were interested in having someone locally support you: sleeplady.com

This book saved us and we also had the sleep trainer supporting us. I will say that everything has changed at 23 months. My daughter is experiencing separation anxiety which is contributing to frequent night wakings, like 2 to 3 times per night. I'm considering reaching out to the sleep trainer again to help us get through it. Unfortunately, my pediatrician doesn't seem versed in sleep solutions other than CIO.

Hang in there as best you can, I think you are doing the right thing by working with your local healthcare support and connecting with others.

My boys have never been good sleepers. The advice in the No Cry Sleep Solution combined with Weissbluth's sleep 'schedule' helped a lot in the beginning, but at 6 months out, I needed something stronger as my boys still had opposite schedules and were up a lot at night. I read through a ton of baby sleep books and picked bits and pieces from a bunch. The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight is my current favorite because it has detailed breakdowns by month and a plan that's basic and easy to follow. I don't follow her guidelines 100% because I breastfeed on demand rather than schedule, and they still wake each other up overnight, but, with her help, I have my boys taking naps semi-together and nighttime has gotten a lot easier.

The thing about baby sleep is that you need to figure out what works for you and your baby. Some babies are fine being up every hour. Other babies are not. You can often tell how well a baby has slept by how quickly they go to bed after waking up in the morning or by fussiness. Since tweaking my boys' schedule and being more diligent about putting them down to sleep, both boys are less fussy and my night owl no longer spends all morning trying to get back to bed.

Sleeping through the night should come with growth, but some babies need help more than others. Read through the books and try out a plan for a few weeks. Don't be afraid of letting them grouse or cry for a bit if nothing else works. I swore I would never do CIO before I started on this sleep journey. Haven't had to yet, but I do now believe it's a necessity for some kids, perhaps if better sleep habits aren't taught to them earlier.

No idea about the head thing. Probably fine? Ask your doc.

According to Dr. Weissbluth newborns need to be put to sleep after 2 hours of wakefulness or earlier at the first sign of sleepiness. Being awake for more then two hours at a time makes a newborn overtired. He also warns that fussiness peaks at 6 weeks and even easy babies may be more fussy and harder to console about this age. It shall pass. Around 8 weeks sleep starts to normalize.

Dr. Weissbluth also writes to never wake a sleeping baby. Personaly, as our little bug originally had day night reversal we did practice the wake her if she was sleeping past 3 hours in the middle of the day (this was a night stretch that belongs at night, and off different medical advice) but you should not just stop babies from napping.

Have you looked at the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 Ss? (Google it.) You can watch the DvD or even just youtube videos if you don't want to read the whole book, or first to get the general idea. There are baby soothing startgies and Dr. Karp claims they work better together. For example adding swaddling, white noise, and/or a pacifier might make your baby do better with bouncing. We did find the swaddling, shaking, and shushing shockingly effective on our newborn. (She doesn't like pacifiers.) Also, early on swaddling helped with sleep a lot.

Edit: Here is a video of Dr Karp's 5 Ss on Dr Phil. Also, instead of the blanket husband and I used the Halso Sleepsack Swadles and they were great. Much easier/fast then a balanket, good for baby's hips as they are tight around the torso but loose on hips/legs, and also allow you to switch to arms out at 2.5 months when she started sucking her hands to slef-sooth.

Get the following:

• Happiest Baby on the Block: great descriptions on swaddling, soothing, pacifier use, nursing, etc. A lifesaver for sure.
  
  
• What to Expect: The First Year: Tons of info about everything you didn't know to even ask. Bathing the baby, sleeping schedules, nursing/bottle feeding, etc. More of a "desk reference" type book, and actually a very good bathroom read.
  
  
• The Baby Sleep Solution: Not everyone is down with this type of book, but it really helped us get ourselves and our baby on a schedule, which is vital for parents to keep them SANE.
  
  When the pediatrician comes to check in on the baby while at the hospital, ask TONS of questions. They don't mind and it will make you feel better. That's what you're paying them for!!
  
  Finally, relax and enjoy. They are tougher than they look.

Or you could just keep bed sharing. She'll eventually want to sleep in her own bed, all kids do.

I read Sweet Sleep which is put out by The Leche League. (https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Sleep-Nighttime-Strategies-Breastfeeding/dp/0345518470/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=sweet+sleep&qid=1575144694&sr=8-3)
It makes some pretty compelling arguments for bedsharing and against sleep training.

We've been bedsharing since our daughter was 3 months old and its been a really positive experience. A lot of moms i talk to want to bedshare because it feels more natural and they like the connection of being closer to their baby overnight but feel guilty about it because they feel their baby "should" be able to sleep on their own already. She'll get there even if you bedshare now. Do what gets your family the most sleep and gives your heart the most peace. And check out the book for how to make bedsharing safe. Or read this article that explains how to make your bed safe https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/

Hope things get better for you.

• Motivation: Life isn't a sprint, its not a walk its not even a single step, its a inch-by-inch fight Just make sure inch in the right direction a little more each day.
  
  
  

• Sleep
  

  Make sure you don't have a condition. Beyond that wake up the same time everyday, cut out lights when it gets dark. Get lots of light regular light everyday.
  
  

• exercise
  

  All exercise is equal for purposes of health.
  
  

• food
  -> in a nutsehll: its probable best to each lots of vegetables/fruits of various colors, good fats and lean meats.
  
  
• diet
  Summery: All diets are good assuming you consume less calories**, i personally find it easier to consume less if i eat just those things aforementioned.
  
  
• health
  
  good luck
  
  
  
  **within reason...

Having the bedroom exclusively for sleeping (and sex) seems like one of the best things you can do. To the extent that if you're tossing and turning a lot it's even better to get up and read a book in a different room for a while before trying again, so that you won't associate the bed with tossing and turning on a subconscious level. Turning off the pc or anything else with a bright display a hour or so before bed time also helps, since the amount of light coming from displays also keeps you awake.


I've found this book to be pretty good on the subject (and it's where I got the previous paragraph from). It goes into some depth on the topic of sleep so it's pretty interesting.

You can do it! The first few weeks I recall the baby waking every 2 hours or so to eat. It gradually gets longer, and when they sleep for 5+ hours it feels like a miracle! Just remember, it's only a phase, they will learn to sleep through the night, and you guys will quickly learn what works for your little one. The 5 s's worked great for us, especially the swaddle and shushing(white noise), the other ones are side lying/stomach (when you're holding them!), swinging, and sucking. The book "happiest baby on the block, the sleeping edition" was great for me when I was first learning the ropes. I'm 10 months in and ours sleeps 12 hours with 1 feeding before I go to bed, it's a dream come true. You'll get there!

Edit:link to the book I referred to: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Guide-Great-Sleep/dp/0062113321

Yup.. Our girls turn 4 months old in a week.

Bought this: https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593

It's not working yet, but it has given us structure and that already has been a HUGE help.

The plan basically is (after they are like 8 weeks old and eat 24 ounces a day and maybe something else):

1. get them to eat 4 times a day every 4 hours - almost done
   
2. get them to not eat at night - work in progress
   
3. get them to sleep 12 hours a night - work in progress
   
4. get them to take two naps a day - not even started.. they nap like 5 times some days.
   
   So our day is - wake up, try to pour 7 ounces into them, try to keep them up 2 hours and then go for a walk. Repeat 3 times a day. Then at the end of the day pour another 7 ounces in and watch them fall asleep. One sleeps 8-9 hours before needing another ounce or two, the other is with mom and gets fed twice a night for a few minutes.

Paralysis prevents sleepwalking. It is fairly uncommon for sleepwalkers to actually hurt themselves in a modern home, but the evolutionary roots of dreaming stretch back to the earliest land animals. If you're an outdoor critter, stumbling around at night will make you an easy meal for a predator.

Why We Sleep is a great book on the medical- evolutionary aspects of sleep, it appears to be essential for memory consolidation in complex animals, but even single celled organisms go through a cycle of stasis where they do biochemical repair.

As a Jungian, I consider sleep to be an immersion in the Unconscious, and a time to merge with the transpersonal force of creation. From the outside it looks like memory consolidation, from the inside it looks like travel through an alternate dimension- and both are true in some sense.

First, if you are actually talking to a podiatrist that might explain why you feel that keeping her feet covered at night is some type of requirement... /humor

Seriously, do not take her to a psychologist. Children NEED boundaries and a routine in the same way you need to feel like you have a roof over your head. You need to stop negotiating with her and be the parent. I encourage you to re-read all of the constructive comments you got in your previous post -- there is an awful lot of good stuff there and it sounds like you only did the "easy" stuff. You turned off the TV and bought a blanket but it doesn't sound like you changed your behavior or the way you are treating your daughter.

Why is it so important to you that she is covered at night? Not everyone likes blankets or sheets -- my daughter NEVER leaves covers on her. We usually check on her after she's asleep and cover her back up, but she just flings them off again. She's almost three and perfectly healthy. Just because her feet are cold at night doesn't mean she is going to get pneumonia.

When we transitioned our daughter from a crib to a toddler bed at 2 she had similar issues staying in bed. We would put her in bed and explain to her like an adult that she had to sleep in her bed and why she had to sleep in her bed, give her a hug and kiss and leave. When she got out of bed we would not say anything to her, but pick her up and tuck her back in bed. This would go on and on over and over. She thought of it as a game until 30 or 40 minutes went by and she started getting tired. Eventually she would either stay in bed or start crying.

This took several days or weeks of following the routine until she just stayed in bed at night. Sometimes I would sit outside of her door with the door cracked, out of her sight but close enough that she knows I'm always near by. I think this helped her quite a bit. The key is that you have to be the enforcer of the rules. You can not get upset or angry, and switch off with your spouse as needed to stay sane. You do not negotiate with a toddler. You set the boundaries and they constantly push on them. I think engaging professional help for something like this would do more harm than good.

We subscribed to the Baby Wise methodology for our infant and try to follow our own version of Supernanny. I highly recommend both.

this book. He's a CIO guy, but I think the advice is still valuable doing it the way you're talking about. He's really big on moving the schedule forward and backwards until you find your sweet spot for naps, bedtime and wakeup.

I pick it up every few months when my girl's sleep needs change and he gets us back on track with age based suggestions that I would never have thought of.

The big thing is to keep a total number of hours of sleep in mind and make sure your child is hitting the right goal. My girl needs ~14 hours a day so we do 12 at night and 2 at naptime. When she was younger she did 12 at night, and 2- 1 hour naps. It really makes a difference in our day for how alert and happy she is.

You want to put your son in his cot while he is drowsy, but still awake. That will help him learn to fall asleep without being rocked. It is really hard to start out with, but it is a long-term investment in his sleep quality, and your sanity.

I really liked the book by The Sleep Lady. She's sort of a low-intensity sleep trainer. We borrowed her book when our daughter was 5 months-old, from a woman with triplets. I made my husband do the nighttime duty, which nobody enjoyed, but was effective. She knew she couldn't get breastmilk from Daddy, so she didn't protest so much. About a week later, she was going down and sleeping through the night with ease. 10 years later she's still easy at bedtime, and sleeps like the dead.

They actually aren't, and instead those parts of the brain that make you "You" are actually VERY active and doing their job.

I read a book called "Why We Sleep" (highly recommended!) and in part of it the author talked about dreaming, and it was so enlightening! If I remember this correctly, the first part of sleep when you have no dreams, is where your body is repairing itself and your brain is committing to memory things that you learned that day. The dreaming part is your brain connecting things you learned today with things you already knew in the past, which to me seems so cool and which must be why even when my dreams make no sense, I can often pick out mundane stuff I encountered the day prior.

It may help to try to frame sleeping and dreaming as biochemical processes, not existential or spiritual ones. Reading more about sleep might also help you to consider it in a more detached manner, and hopefully make it less stressful. I wish you best of luck!

Get this book and start sleep training. It's gonna be rough starting at 1 year, but the sooner you get on it the better. The basic idea is that you develop regular schedule and your kid learns when it's time to eat and when it's time to sleep. We started at birth and both of my kids have been sleeping through the night since 3 months old. They can sleep anywhere, and even adjust to time zone changes no problem. It's going to be rough and there is going to be some amount of letting your child cry for a short, non-emotionally-scarring amount of time as they get used to the new schedule and learn to self soothe - but at the end you and baby BOTH get the gift of sleep!

EDIT: Don't listen to the CULT of attachment parenting that thinks this book is pure evil. If you actually read past the first page you'll see that it's all about moderation and gently nudging your child towards an eat/sleep schedule that results in sleeping through the night. There seems to be an organized group of whackos whose sole mission in life is to steer people clear of a book that has helped me and MANY others experience the joy of happy, healthy children who sleep through the night.

buy "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth and get that child on a sleep schedule...i know it is painful but the only way your son is going to learn to self-soothe and get the amount of sleep he needs is to let him cry...you arent betraying him, or betraying his trust, you are giving him one of the best gifts a parent can give - independence and rest...i put sleep just a notch below food in my parenting pyramid and believe it is SUPER important that children get enough sleep...that means two 1-2 hour naps a day until they are 2 yrs and then one 2-3 hr nap a day until at least 4 years...i know that seems like a lot and it will be hard to get the rest of you life done around the nap schedule but in my experience (i have a 3y old) sleep begets sleep and on the days that my DD doesnt get a good nap she doesnt sleep well at night...it's all in this book, i credit it with getting her to sleep through the night at 4 months and we have had minimal sleep problems ever since.

TL;DR buy this book NOW
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0345486455/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311863969&sr=1-1

She's 4 months. We didn't do straight CIO. We started with a SWAP from this book: Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997580801/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_KKICzbYXM0K8G
It's a more gradual approach that's supposed to take longer than straight cry it out. I figured she was still pretty young and if it didn't work we could move to CIO. She's always been a crap sleeper, and the sleep deprivation was taking a toll on both of us. I was shocked how quickly her sleep started to change! She always wakes up about 40mins after she first goes down and cries. I used to have to rock her for over an hour to make sure she was really asleep before I could put her down. So we did have to let her cry it out through that wake up. The first night it was over an hour. Last night it was 20mins. Hoping she'll just sleep through tonight. She slept 6.5 hours straight after she went to sleep!! Usually she sleeps two hours in a row MAX. The biggest difference is that she wakes up soooo happy. It's the best part of my day! I highly recommend the book. It helps you understand how infants sleep and has things you can start to try from birth to help set you up for good sleep habits. Plus, it an easy read with lots of humor and commiseration.

How's your sleep?

Chronic sleep deprivation (meaning a habit of less than 8 hours a night) will shred even a non-ADHD-brain's ability to focus. Starting with an ADHD brain means you get seriously impaired that much quicker.

I can speak from experience over the past few years of getting only 6-7 hours on average (on purpose, to treat my sleep disorder, but WOW what a cost). I felt like I was losing my mind and stuff like reading novels or learning was impossible most days, where before I inhaled books like nothing. Even dropped out of college because the slight burden of a part-time course was annihilating me.

I've changed my schedule to let myself sleep more and noticed a small difference so far. There's a useful introductory book that came out recently and goes into the science of sleep; https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

I've been reading through it, very slowly, and it's won me over to prioritising 8 hours of sleep as my main health goal right now. Might not help everyone but if you're not sleeping enough that would affect anyone so it may be somewhere to start.

You're on the same combo as me. A little seroquel for sleep and some lamictol. I'm going to give you a funny recommendation. It's not a self help book, but this book convinced me that sleep is the best medicine I can take and ever since reading it I've prioritized sleep above all things AND, perhaps more importantly, come to love sleep and "over sleeping".

Before the book I was Mr. "I only need 6 hours of sleep". Now I'm Mr. "I want at least 8.5 and more is better."

I used to have all kinds of trouble with sleep and I feel like a lot of it was because I didn't actually want to sleep… something happened after reading (listening to actually) this book.

https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

Talk your pediatrician about dropping the night feeding. One of the books (healthy sleep, happy baby?) discusses the change in sleep patterns around this age and it's when they really begin to need to learn to put themselves (back) to sleep. At some point soon the night feed is about your supply and is a comfort feed for baby - they don't really need the overnight nutrition anymore. He's waking up and wanting you to put him back to sleep - it's not a great habit for him and you'll both be happier and better rested if he learns to put himself back to sleep.

I highly recommend the book at this age anyway. As their sleep needs change, their routine needs to change. The description you posted sounds like an overtired baby. Once he learns to put himself back to sleep that will help, but he may also need a nap or bedtime adjustment. I feel like the whole first year was just a long series of sleep adjustments while my girl consolidated her nap schedule.

Edited to add: hang in there! The 4 month sleep transition was hard! The rest of them are much easier!

I read, well skimmed, Baby Wise and while I thought the author was kinda smug, our kid got through sleep regression in 3 days. Highly recommend
Here’s the link on Amazon

On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1932740139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_0UqRDbT0KDYFA

No worries man. I’m glad you read it. And honestly I can’t explain how I’m humbled that you find it actually helpful. Thank YOU for digesting the stuff that I’ve written. It means a lot to me that I could able to feel someone better.

It’s a great thing that you’ve mentioned your needs on therapy. Just 1 thing I’d like to point at. You shouldn’t be labelling ur self in depression. Neither your parents as well. It might be completely different thing. I’m assuming your parents might have told you “you got a warm house so how come you’re depressed” or something like that. Sounds like my parents lol.

In my most honest suggestion that you keep mentioning that you need a therapist. Not in a nagging attitude ofc lol. Just try to communicate this when everyone is having a regular or a normal time. Not when you’re feeling down. In much harsh words, tell u need to talk with a professional when shields are down. Because pretending is way more tiring than just being unhappy. That’s what I’ve did for years and end up hating my self, everyone else and most sadly my parents.

Also meanwhile you’re trying to help yourself I’ve got two suggestions for you.

This book-> https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501144324/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_hPx2Db44AP10J (this cover is terrible. if you can find get the penguin release lol)

And start watching HBO’s in treatment. It’s a quite deep series. But it’ll give you an insight how to approach to a therapist. Tbh, I started to get more out of my therapy after watching this. Therapy is not a magic wand. It works when you actually converse with the human that listens you fully at that moment.

I think this is really dependent upon how you and your wife sleep (and fall back asleep). Even when horribly sleep deprived, if I heard a baby crying, I was up until it stopped crying. If I got up with a baby, it'd take me 45 min or so to go back to sleep. This was true even if I got 3-4 hours in 20 min bursts for days. For my husband, he wakes up and goes to sleep quickly. We managed these distinctions with our infants like this:

1. We hired a postpartum doula (night nanny) 3 nights a week. Fucking expensive, but a very temporary expense for 2-3 months.
   
   
2. I stayed up late (until 1am) and did solo baby duty and then slept with white noise next to my bed. Husband had the baby monitor next to his bed. I pumped right before bed so I could get a good amount of uninterrupted sleep. Husband tended to any night waking with bottled milk, only getting me if shit hit the fan. I usually woke up naturally (because of breastfeeding) after sleeping 5-6 hours.
   
   
3. I drank lots and lots of coffee.
   
   
4. We got them on a routine very early. We started working towards the routines/strategies in this book softly at 2 months and still follow much of the advice now (our twins are 2): https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525949593/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_qD3TzbXAYDRGN
   
   In summary, I think this really depends if you're a light sleeper that has a tough time going back to bed. If one of you sleeps like that, then you'll probably need to figure out a shift schedule (rather than man-on defense) like we did. If both of you sleep like that, then, in my experience, you need to get some nighttime help (or daytime help so you can stay up all night) for the very short-term. If neither of you are light/bad sleepers, then rock on with the man-on like u/alectos described.

Full disclosure: I'm overcoming my own sleep difficulties (after 20 years of not sleeping well). My advice is based on what is working for me.

Some reading for you:

• NIH guidance on sleep: Read this now to make sure you're hitting all the low-hanging fruit of sleep hygiene.
  
• Say Good Night to Insomnia: Gregg Jacobs offers a CBT-based program to get your sleep back on track. As an engineer, you'll probably enjoy learning about the interplay among thoughts, behaviors, and sleep.
  
• Why We Sleep: Matthew Walker explains the current research on sleep, including the consequences of not sleeping enough. Knowing those consequences might discourage you from messing with your sleep in the future.
  
  If you like the sound of the program in Jacobs's book, I suggest finding a therapist trained in CBT-I (cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia). The program requires you to confront your anxiety about sleep -- anxiety you might not know you have -- and a therapist can help. I also recommend the CBT-i Coach app, which lets you easily log your sleep data each day and, after you log a week's worth of data, prescribes sleep and wake times. You might also consider having a sleep study done to rule out physical (as opposed to behavioral) causes.
  
  Good luck.

Check out On Becoming Babywise it really helped my wife and I. I have some friends who read it after I recommended it and they've had great results. Other friends didn't follow the book and they struggle with getting their kids go to sleep and stay asleep. A baby who gets restful sleep is a happy baby.

I'm sorry to hear that. Im also the head of my household and I understand how much it sucks when you don't get enough sleep and are the one who's supposed to make the money regardless. If you haven't read it I can fully recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316 it has very good general information on how sleep works and how to improve your quality of sleep. Even if it improves your sleep just by 10% it's worth every penny. Good luck there!

Yes, you have to buy the seats separately, but they come with the bases.
https://www.target.com/p/graco-174-snugride-30-click-connect-infant-car-seat/-/A-16721764

Smart move on not getting used.

Unsolicited advice... Get them this book. It has saved us. Our babies are sleeping through the night (11:30pm-7am). Best thing ever.
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp/1932740139

I didn’t have a nanny in my plan, either! I can only say it’s a mix between you getting used to less sleep, and making sure the baby is getting enough. I can not say enough how much this book changed my world: healthy sleep habits happy child. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0553394800/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1517599049&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=healthy+sleep+habits+happy+child&dpPl=1&dpID=51LFPG307GL&ref=plSrch

I started it when my first baby was 2 wks old and am still devoted to it after my second child.

It gets SO MUCH better!

Recommendations kind of vary, tbh. It's so easy to get information overload with sleep training stuff (or any baby related stuff, really). I read a few different books, the one I like the best and still use the most is called Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief. If you buy the book you get access to their Facebook group too, and it's very active.

I hear you, this baby stuff is hard. I just always try to keep in mind that I'm doing the best I can with what I have in the moment, which is often not much (especially these days since PPMD decided to wait until a few weeks ago to show up. FUN TIMES).

My nearly five-month old went through this too. Their sleep develops into a more adult sleep cycle around 16 weeks so that they get REM cycles just like we do. Before 16 weeks they just went into a deep sleep right away, but now when they awake during the lighter phases of sleep, they don't know how to put themselves back to bed.

What worked for our family was moving our little one to his own room once we got the ok from our pediatrician. We also moved his bedtime earlier, starting the routine (bath, massage, book) at around 5:30pm and having him in his crib asleep at 6pm.

He was waking up every 2 hours before we made these changes, now he only wakes up once or twice a night to feed.

ETA: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/151136145X

This book is super helpful. Also, at 4 mos, assuming your kiddo is at a healthy weight, he shouldn't be waking up >2x for hunger.

I was actually terrified to cosleep until I did some reading on it. [Dr James McKenna](Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping https://www.amazon.com/dp/1930775342/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_1zNyyb9HW4PR9) is the leader on cosleeping studies in the US. I read this book before I started cosleeping. Cosleeping was necessary for us to get through the night.
Also, Dr Sears has some insight on cosleeping and SIDS
Dr Sears
Finally, when you want to ease your little one into their own bed gently, The No Cry Sleep Solution has some great advice. I used this book like an Manuel during my first year of parenting.

I'm a cosleeper and a big advocate of education of safe cosleeping. That doesn't mean cosleeping is right for you and your family. I just wanted you to have some reading material from people who have actually studied the effects of cosleeping.

PS: My best friend's baby died of SIDS, not cosleeping. So I am very familiar with how awful it is and her situation was so terrifying to me going into motherhood. I spent a great deal of time searching for answers about SIDS, as did my friend. The truth is, there are risk factors, but no known causes.

Good luck to you. I hope you and your family get some rest!

We started bedsharing when LO was around 6 weeks old. Husband is on the couch with our dogs because they would climb in bed with us otherwise so it's the safest thing. I side lie nurse and wear PJ pants (no drawstring), a nursing tank top and a cardigan to stay warm. I have two thin blankets on the bed that I pull up to my waist. They also go up to LOs waist as well. I sleep with one pillow and kind of scrunch it up under my head. LOs head is at boob height since he nurses to sleep. There is a great book called Sleeping with your baby: A parents guide to cosleeping by Dr. James McKenna that made me feel a lot more comfortable with our decision.

I'm only about 5 months into the experiment, but Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child has been useful. We checked a bunch of baby books from the library, and these were the only two that we ended up buying just to have on hand.

My maternal instincts didn't kick in for so long. I felt like I hanging off the edge of a mountain and slipping a little more every day. I was numb when my first arrived, and it was just bizarre that someone handed me this thing and said I had to take care of it now.

I had a lot of problems breastfeeding. My hormones were totally trashed (which took me 6 months to discover). I cried a lot. She cried a lot. It took until 6-8 weeks, when things got better for us in terms of feeding (AKA accepting I had to supplement forever) and when she started being less of a potato. The "100 days of Darkness" were the worst.

My daughter's now 2.5. I love her to death. She's thriving and healthy, so I guess at some point my maternal instincts kicked in. I still get those days of "what is this kid doing in my house?"

But my only real advice is study up hardcore on breastfeeding (if you want to do it) -- take a class, read a book, find a support group. It really helps. Plan to attend said support group at least once a week after birth, because that's the quickest way to getting problems diagnosed. Plus, socialization. The other thing I always suggest is reading a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, or a similiar sleep book. The sooner you can get a handle on sleeping, the better off everything is.

Try not to worry; if you're already worried about what kind of mom you're going to be, my bet is that you'll be a great one. :)

I don't have a good treatment book to recommend. Sitting on my desk next to read is Why we Sleep by Matthew Walker. We overlapped in training and he is brilliant so I look forward to reading this. I enjoyed Dreamland by Randall as an easier to read lay book. Bill Dement is the father of sleep medicine and his last book, The Promise of Sleep, is a nice call to arms for better sleep, though it is almost 20 years old now. I'm a sleep researcher, not a clinician, so the books I'm reading are not really clinical guides, though they contain good information.

As for insomnia, it is best treated by behavioral interventions. The research clearly shows that sleep medicines are only good for acute insomnia (maybe you just had a surgery and the pain is keeping you up at night) and not chronic insomnia. One place to start looking for someone to help would be to check out the Society for Behavioral Sleep Medicine provider list. Most sleep disorders clinics should either have a psychologist on staff or a referral to one.

This is what they will basically have you do. First, you should only go to bed if you are sleepy. If you do not fall asleep within 15-20 minutes, you need to get out of bed, and do something boring under low lights. Do not get on the computer or watch TV, turn on a lamp and read a boring book until you are falling asleep. Then go to bed and if you are not asleep within 15-20 minutes, do it all over again. It may be that you stay awake all night or until 4am the first few times you do it. That is fine, it will actually help you. Do not take a nap, be dead tired because that will help you fall asleep normally after a few days. Also, you need a consistent wake time, no matter your job or school or whatever. Pick a time and wake up everyday (even weekends) at that time.

You also need to look up best practices for sleep hygiene. Most importantly, do not use your bed for anything other than sleep or sex. Do not read, watch TV, play on your tablet, etc. in bed. You want to train your body so that it knows when your head hits the pillow, it is sleep time not thinking or doing time. If you have problems with intrusive thoughts as you are trying to go to sleep, download a guided meditation or progressive muscle relaxation and listen to it while trying to go to sleep (if you are concentrating on the meditation, you can't think about all of the things you were supposed to do that day). Also make sure you can't see the time. You do not need to know what time it is in the middle of the night. Seeing that it is 3am and knowing you have to be at work at 7am causes anxiety which makes it harder to go to sleep.

Do the routine where you get up if you can't fall asleep within 15-20 minutes for week and see if that does not help. The information I gave you are two components of CBT treatment for insomnia (Stimulus control therapy and relaxation). Now going to a sleep disorders clinic can be good because they will rule out other possible causes of your sleep problem other than regular insomnia. You can also try something like melatonin. The clinical evidence really says that it is only good for circadian rhythm issues like jet lag (there is some limited evidence that it can help with insomnia), but many people swear by it and it will most likely not hurt anything. Once again, do not get on ambien, lunesta, etc. for long-term insomnia. They will make it worse.

As I said before, I am a sleep researcher, not a clinician. Everything I told you can be googled so please read up on behavioral treatments of insomnia.

On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1932740139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_0khEAbHVSJA9E here is the amazon link! I started giving a nightly bath and then a bottle before bed. I did everything at the same time every night. Babywise goes into a lot of better detail and had a lot more stuff you can do. I ended up not needing to do any of what they suggested cuz my kids responded to the routine.

It sounds as if you've tried a lot of things, but how long have you stuck to just one consistent routine? I understand that sleep training is very difficult to get through, but it's really important to stick to one method for at least a week or two before deciding that it absolutely doesn't work.

We used a modified CIO method for our daughter, The Sleepeasy Solution and it worked really well for us. Other friends of mine have raved about Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which advocates an extinction CIO method, but that wasn't for us.

I know it can be really, really hard to listen to your child cry, but if you set strict check in times and stick to your routine for the long haul, I think that helps more than anything else. Our baby's sleep improved within a week or so once we stuck to a plan. She still has bad nights occasionally, but as long as we always go back to the same routine, she knows what to expect. Good luck!!!

Hello fellow twin mom with the same due date as me. :-)

My MIL just sent us a book on sleep training twins: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. I haven't had a chance to really dive into it yet, but a number of twin parents have recommended it to me thus far. Good luck!

Given that Sleep Restriction seemed to help, I'd recommend looking into Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). It's a research-backed behavioral approach to sleep problems. Most people don't know it, but it's actually widely considered by most medical associations to be the treatment of choice for insomnia.

Look for a clinical psychologist (PhD or PsyD) who is trained as a cognitive behavioral therapist and also does CBT-I.

These two books are also very good:

Say Goodnight To Insomnia by Gregg Jacobs

The Insomnia Workbook by Stephanie Silberman

Good Luck!

> Your brain knows when it needs to sleep by measuring a chemical which builds up during the day. When you sleep, this chemical, adenosine, gets cleared out

The book "Why we sleep" goes into wonderful detail and describes several studies that are of great interest to those curious about sleep.

https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

We ST my son at 7 MO and never had to retrain. Maybe after an illness there's a night or two of bad sleep (since I often let him sleep on me in our glider if he's sick) but it never warranted full re-training. For my family, it was the best decision we ever made. 26 MO now and still sleeps very, very well. We used The Happy Sleeper method and it worked wonders for both naps and nighttime sleep.

There is no substitute for 8 hours of sleep per night. If you need evidence, here's evidence: Why We Sleep

Yo do not need a sleep substitute, you need a non-negotiable daily 8 hour sleep opportunity and your husband needs to get on baord with that. I would have a sit down with him where you explain this is a health issue and brainstorm ways to make this workable. Maybe having a teenager come as a mother's helper in the mornings would help. Maybe he needs more opportunities for time for himself. Maybe you need to work on finding a day job eventually. Anyway, focus on those opportunities, not ways to cheat yourself out of even more sleep.

ETA: Just wondering if the 3yo and 1yo are sleeping well. Maybe your husband is grouching because he is sleep deprived too? Getting him some daytime help so he can take a nap may really help even if you have to stretch the budget for several months.

I know they are so stinking pricey for what they are! I only bought one of them and it sorta worked for a while until he started rolling over and then it wasn’t on his chest anymore. Hang in there!

Might I recommend the book “Healthy sleep happy child” our pediatrician recommended this book to us and it covers all different ages and stages of sleep with different strategies. We moved our sons bedtime earlier which really helped and did one of the sleep training strategies in this and finally got our son to sleep through the night at 16 months - he is still a work in progress and we have to redo sleep training every so often when he gets sick or something changes. He’s always been a horrendous sleeper! He’s 2 1/2 now and sometimes wakes once in the night still.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, 4th Edition: A Step-by-Step Program for a Good Night's Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553394800/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_cm.UBbZZXCDWB

Is it this one: Healthy Sleep Happy Baby: 30 Empower Strategies to Soothe Your Little One to Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YI15QHY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_iNFEzbRT0HZA5

Or this one: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, 4th Edition: A Step-by-Step Program for a Good Night's Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553394800/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_QNFEzbC7AS1BX

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Tons of great info on how important sleep is to growing kiddos. Also plenty of strategies for helping your young ones sleep, and quite a few stories/testimonials from parents who have been there. Helped my wife and I with both of our kids!

In case it's of interest, I found this book so helpful when my daughter was young. It helps really understand sleep patterns and how to navigate things like big transitions, travelling, change in naps from 2 to 1, etc. It covers up to age 5 and it was my bible. I hope you figure it out and life gets less stressful - good luck with the move! https://www.amazon.ca/Sleep-Lady%C2%AEs-Good-Night-Tight/dp/1593155581/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1542931199&sr=1-1&keywords=the+sleep+lady

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

You're only just entering the time when you can start to really get results on sleep, so don't feel you're behind.

Until you get the book: Spreadsheet with one row for each day. Put in as many columns for down | up | down | up | down as you think you'll need + 1. Then add a column to calc the total sleep for that day.

Fill this in for a while and you will see trends in when the baby sleeps and how much. Just record for about a week and don't try to accomplish anything specific.

Next, you game the system by working on the down times, shifting them by small increments (like 15 minutes) to the times you want, and ultimately collapsing some of the sleep sessions together.

Do not try to game the system by working the wake-up time. It should be a natural function of the time they go to sleep and how much sleep they need. Always let them sleep. Never wake them up in an effort to change the sleep pattern.

This saved my butt. I wish I had done it as early as 3 mos.

PM me if you're too tire to make the spreadsheet. I'll be glad to set one up.

We didn't exactly do "cry it out" but we roughly followed the Baby Wise (https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp/1932740139) method for sleep training.

We're not fans of co-sleeping for the obvious "rolling on top of your infant" problem---especially since we both sleep so hard. But whatever works for you. My wife and I found that method worked well, but every little one is different. :-)

Hey! Yeah it has kinda become a series, but that is just someone piggy backing if its success. Here are the originals.

Here is the one for infants

Here is 5-12 months

I can sum up one of the most important principles for you if you don't want to buy them. Though I highly suggest you do.

At around 5-6 weeks you allow your baby to cry it out for 15 minutes max. After that you can go in and comfort the baby. This is mostly for the mother, as it is hard for the mom to do this.

Then every night you will eventually watch that 15 minutes of screaming drop to 12, then 10, then 5. Then only a minute.

This same principle then applies for older kids as they grow up and more challenges arise, like toddlers who won't stay in bed. In our experience we had to allow for them to cry and learn that they can do it and it will be ok. Eventually allowing for themselves to calm down and sleep.

You're going to get a lot of advice that is great for singletons. However, as you know, twins is a very different story... my wife and I just had twin girls and this book has been recommended to us by several people in my local Twin Parent facebook group. https://www.amazon.ca/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Twins/dp/0345497791

To get them on a schedule, when A wakes up, wake B up. Feed at the same time (or one after another). Put them to sleep at the same time. "Never wake a sleeping baby, except with twins".

As others have said, reach out for help... friends, family, or paid help (night nurse, etc.).

8-1 is a good stretch at least! This sounds similar to our story. We stuck it out until I went back to work (around 5m). Then when it became clear that she wasn't waking for milk but rather for her pacifier, we decided to sleep train using the happy sleeper method. Hope you find something that works! Sorry all your friends babies are unicorns!

Great list.

Things I would add:

Use you bed for sleep only - that means no reading or surfing the web.

​

If you can't fall asleep in 15 minutes - get up out of bed and do something relaxing for 10-20 minutes and then try again.

​

I recommend that you go through a book like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Insomnia-Workbook-Comprehensive-Guide-Getting/dp/1572246359/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=9JF6CJC55GKYX1TJ99E2

I have a six week old and we've had pretty good luck with swaddling and then rocking him to sleep or putting him in the stroller and walking him around to sleep, then putting him into a baby swing to sleep.

Also we've been following the tips in this book.

https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/151136145X

Edit: last night he set a new record, slept 8 hrs straight!

I'm reading the book "Why We Sleep" and it's seriously scary how important sleep is yet how little people get, and how socially acceptable that is.

Thankfully, it's been the catalyst for me going to bed earlier and making sure to get 8 hours minimum, and I'm feeling pretty good.

The way I understand die-off type reactions is that they mean that your detoxification pathways are overwhelmed...not necessarily that lots of things are dying (but it may be both). Medications, natural or otherwise, can be harsh and may need to be processed by our liver or other detox pathways.

So, before we start trying to kill things, I think it's wise to try and support our detoxification pathways. We also need to work to support our immune system that will naturally kill (or at least make them weaker to supplements) things like candida even without external supplements or medication that.

So - once this "die off/dextox pathway overwhelm" stops - or even before then - I would look very deeply these aspects of your life:

• sleep - the book why we sleep - nearly everything recommended in that book is free and high quality sleep over time can massively improve your and immune function and support your detoxification pathways https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316
  
• blood sugar control - figure out how to manage your blood sugar - things like protein, fat and fiber are your friend in this regard. Meal spacing can be another factor.
  
• stress - the more intense the stress and the longer lasting it is, the more we need to sort this out. We may need to make significant changes to our life - we may need to change our perspective for things we can't change - or we may need to make a longer term plan...not easy, but has a massive impact.
  
• movement - I would look at the recommendations for elderly people and start to make sure that those minimum thresholds of movement are met every day --- I've found in my own life that BM's, energy and arthritic symptoms get completely turned around with the right intensity and type of movement. You shouldn't do things that make you feel terrible - eg. if you feel like you were run over by a bus the day after working out, dial it back

No one can survive on 4 hours of sleep or even 6, at least not without dire consequences later in life. If you haven't heard of Matthew Walker's work and his book Why We Sleep I highly recommend you check it out. He's been on a bunch of podcasts too, my favorite was on an episode of Dr Rhonda Patrick's Found My Fitness podcast. Please do yourself and your future health a favor and get your 8. You deserve it!

I just read Mathew Walker’s excellent book “why we sleep.”

It’s an excellent read and will change the way you think about sleep. Highly recommended.

https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144324/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1549864264&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=Why+we+sleep&psc=1

You should check out https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/. Read through the articles there. Then, if you need to, you can join the Facebook group and ask questions. They're super helpful. It's pro-sleep training, but honestly, it sounds like you're at that point. The real goal of sleep learning is that the baby learns to put himself to sleep independently, without boob/rocking/walking/etc., so that when he DOES wake up in the middle of the night, he can go back to sleep easily if he's not wet/hungry/sick. There will be crying, but it sounds like he's crying now, AND not getting the sleep he needs, so it will be an improvement! You and your SO really need to be on the same page with this, or it won't work. But if you're doing the heavy lifting right now (the walking, the boob, the naps during the day) then in my opinion, it's your decision. You'll most likely have a week or less of crying, and then magical sleep.

You may also want to read the Ferber book, and for extra credit, the Weissbluth book. They both explain the science behind sleep, which helped me tremendously. They also give lots of ideas for teaching your baby to sleep independently. We did the Ferber method around 6 months, and now I know that if he wakes up at night, he's wet or sick, and it doesn't happen often.

On top of what everyone else said, make sure you get at least 7 hours of sleep every day, 8 if possible. Most of the recovery and fat burning actually happen when you sleep, but it takes several hours for the process to even start (after 5 or 6). That's why you can't really "catch up" on sleep (ie: 6 hours sleep + 2 hours nap is not the same thing as 8 hours of sleep, because some processes take 5 to 6 hours to begin and last for 2).

There's a great book that covers all of this in great details, called "Why we sleep" (here). If you want the TL;DR version, the author was a guest on JRE (here).

Yes. It's a book by Matthew Walker. I think it would actually be a good artc book even though it barely touches on exercise.

Amazon link: Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501144316/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_z9RTBb1QNY26H

I vaguely recall this phase. I can't remember what solved it, but know it will pass...and please for the love of anyone who hasn't read it yet, read this book. This man works miracles. 100% that's how I got through dropping the second nap. and every other sleep crisis we've had.

healthy sleep habits, happy child

My son was waking up to eat around 5 times a night and a friend told me to read The baby sleep solution and it saved my life!! It basically is a guide on how to ween your baby off the night time feedings.. The technique is to influence him to eat more during the day and decrease the amount of milk you give him by a half ounce every 4 nights. It helps to keep a log of what times and how much he eats. It will be tough for the first few nights but every night will get easier.

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You're welcome! That early time is so so hard on everyone. After being pregnant for 41 and a half weeks I was SO READY to put her down and let dad take over - I was really mad in my sleep deprived delirium that she still needed me to hold her, I was like, "I've BEEN holding you this whole time! :'( " It's funny now... Anyway, my husband also found this Harvey Karp baby sleep book helpful for giving him some techniques to try on his own.

If you've been co-sleeping don't jump straight to Ferberizing.

I read maybe 7 or 8 sleep training books that ran the gambit from Weisenbluth Extinction method, and Ferberizing Cry it Out, to the Dr. Sears cosleep until they don't want to or Sleep lady shuffle out of the room.

We eventually choose the Sleepeasy Solution from Waldburger and Spivak. It's not too extreme on either end. It does, however, take preparation and planning. You analyze sleep patterns and habits first and then make a plan that works for your family. We felt like the analysis and planning before was what made the sleep training part work in about 2 nights. It took awhile but my LO sleeps like a champ now.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sleepeasy-Solution-Exhausted-Parents/dp/0757305601

You can get a used copy on Amazon for 6.99: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0399166025/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8

Good luck!!!

I've been there. You previously had a good routine so there's no much to add since you know how it's done. It will get easier in a few months as your child gets older and start sleeping through the night. This book will help to keep you and your partner sane: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0553394800/.

I would recommend this book by Dr. James McKenna on cosleeping:

http://www.amazon.com/Sleeping-Your-Baby-Parents-Cosleeping/dp/1930775342/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334509955&sr=1-1

He talks about safe co-sleeping and how to do it to ensure you're not increasing the risk factors for SIDS. Our baby never had the issue of spitting up and choking, if she did spit up, it would just sort of come out the side of her mouth. But, she didn't really spit up much while she was asleep for the first few months. Babies can at least turn their heads slightly to spit up and out of their mouths.

If you can't afford/find the book, the website for Dr. McKenna is also very helpful.
http://cosleeping.nd.edu/

Mine was this way until 5mo old too. Then we followed The Sleepeasy Solution method to get him to sleep and it worked SO WELL. He's like a different kid, one that can actually sleep in a crib.

All kids need to nap during the day but if he only gets catnaps, that counts at this age. My 5 month old takes lots of cat caps (after nursing) and she's the happiest thing in the world! I've tried to put her down for longer naps when I can and longest she'll sleep for is about 50 min and that's only after 15 - 20 min of nursing!

As they start to get more active and get more stimuli, they need time to process or they get overtired and their evening sleep suffers, which is why the books tell you to start naps when they do - I found this book pretty useful, if you haven't read this one yet.

But, I think you can read your kid and go with your gut.

We followed the instructions in the book 12 hours' sleep by 12 weeks old. Sure, we bent the rules, but I'd say we stuck to it around 80% of the time. And, instead of 12 weeks, we probably ended it around 4 or 5 months. At the end, our kids were down to one wake up incident per night, so we furburized (spelling?) that out. From 6 months on (my kids are 6 and 3 now), both kids go to bed when we tell them, sleep through the night with zero issues, and never have a single problem getting up in the morning. Things in that department worked out better than I ever hoped for.

Best that I've read is Harvard Medical Guide to a Good Night's Sleep.

I would recommend the book Why We Sleep. It really changed my thoughts on sleep. I now consider sleep the most important thing you can do for your health followed by eating well and exercising. I was getting up at 5 am to run but life made it hard to be asleep by 9 pm so I ended up finding ways to fit my runs in elsewhere. 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night is incredibly important.

You'll get your groove. A lot of times I kicked my husband out of bed or slept in the guest room. He snores so friggin loud and I have no advice for that.

I highly recommend this sleep training book I'll link below. Start at about five months. We tried a few methods with my son before landing on this one and it's the best method. If you switch to formula, you have to get the baby brezza. It's like a keurig. Bottle in ten seconds.

The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0757305601/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_FsNyyb2TQ2WD2

Yeah, one of these things is not like the others. Just the first few pages of Matthew Walker's Why We Sleep makes that clear. Don't know whether it's a year-long project, but of the items on the list it merits top priority.

This is a good book to read about children and sleep. Developing good sleep habits is very important.

Sleep. Fix your fucking sleep. It is your foundation for improving everything else.

Audit your routines and schedules. Are you using your phone/TV right up until the moment you close your eyes? Are you going to sleep at a consistent time? What does your caffeine intake look like, especially in the latter half of your day?

If you don’t fix this, your lifts are the least of your worries. Your sleep, or lack thereof, will largely dictate most areas of your life, from your health, to your relationships, your motivation, as well as your mental, physical, and sexual performance, and through secondary effects, your academic/career/financial life as well.

Fix. Your. Fucking. Sleep.

Start here (20 minutes). Then here (2 hours).

Then read this.

This one is sooooo much better. http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Sleep-Nighttime-Strategies-Breastfeeding/dp/0345518470

I work in maternal fetal health and there is some concern about some of Karps recommendations (like swaddling which can lead to overheating and immobilize baby -- both of which increase SIDS). This is the one I recommend for my patients.

We got ours to sleep through the night at 10 weeks. We did CIO (at the recommendation of our pediatrician) and she's been sleeping 12 hours ever since (8pm - 8am). We just stopped going in at night. By the third night she didn't even wake up for the feeding at night. My wife read "12 hours by 12 weeks" as a guide too. Basically just says make sure they're getting their required amount of food during the 12 awake hours. Good luck!

Edit: Why the downvotes?

I've heard that vitamin D suppresses the secretion of melatonin for a few hours and therefore should be consumed during the day, preferably when the sun is out. So don't take it at night, or past daylight tbh. And also make sure you are taking co-factors along with it, like K2, B vitamins, etc. Read up on it. And vitamin D is absolutely linked to sleep from what I've read (see here). And it should be D3 not D2.

I've also read that sleep aids usually sedate you but don't actually help you sleep sleep.

Have you tried cutting out caffeine completely?

Anyway, I recommend you read, if you haven't already, the following:

• Sleep Smarter
  
• Sleep: A Very Short Introduction
  
• Why We Sleep
  
  Also, idk how much sleep is affecting your lifestyle, but I've heard of programs where you work for the national park service for several months, like 5-6 months. You sleep and work in the wilderness with no electronics etc. I've always been tempted by the adjustment that might make in my life.

My sister did THIS ONE NOT THE OTHER BOOK I POSTED because she realized that she needed to set limits from when the baby was very very young. All of her kids went through the baby boot camp and now every single night she has alone with her husband. They make time for one another and that is a huge priority to them. I think people go into parenthood blind and wind up feeling overwhelmed because they are tired and running around and in pain (from birth). This is normal but it is so easy to slip into forgetting you also have a partner and friends and family that you just become "mom". He doesn't want to be with "mom" he wants to be with the girl he fell in love with.

So coming from a perspective as someone who is dating, I kept reading horror stories about how single moms have dating profiles that say things like "my kid comes first and if you've got a problem with that keep walking!!!!!". That is such an ugly vibe to give off. Your kids will one day grow up and leave you but your partner is there for life (hopefully). If you don't nurture that relationship for years because of a baby it WILL go to shit and it WILL end. The same is true for if you are with their father. That relationship is so important. Especially for your kid. If you and the father are happy, the baby will be happy.

edit: changed the book. I had it wrong. :)

Agreed. Daytime sleepiness is a definite sign you are not sleeping enough or well enough at night. it is true that sleep pressure builds over a period of 16 hours from the time you wake up. But if you are sleepy during the day and need caffeine to manage it, you're not sleeping enough.

If you want to understand why that is so critical, read this book. You will never see sleep the same way again. Or, if you don't have time to read the book, watch Joe Rogan's interview with Matthew Walker on The Joe Rogan Experience..

https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144324/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=78477646311922&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=why+we+sleep&qid=1569147331&sr=8-1

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins saved my life.

You really should pick up [Why We Sleep](Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501144316/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_CU83Bb1KV9ZXS) before you decide. Pretty good evidence that there are serious detrimental long term effects on losing even little bits of sleep. Be careful.

A therapist with experience in CBT-I can help you. CBT-I is the most effective treatment for sleep disorders, even compared to pills. Avoid pills: they don't put you into restful sleep; they just knock you out. Check out Why We Sleep to learn a lot more about sleep, sleep disorders, and what you can do.

https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Sleep-Nighttime-Strategies-Breastfeeding/dp/0345518470 This book by le leche league had all the answers for me, except how to keep my arms and torso warm. I can't sleep with a shirt because then it's too hard for baby to nurse without us both waking up and I worry about suffocating him on accident, so I'm only wearing underwear and it's really cold! I also have to keep the blanket basically near his feet or he overheats. I'd also say that cosleeping is not very comfortable, I don't sleep as deeply as I did before baby because I'm always aware of his presence, I wake up every time his breathing changes or he wiggles. On the other hand it gives me peace of mind since I am pretty sure I would wake up if anything happened to him

As a baby nurse who's worked with hundreds of babies including multiples (2, 3, 4 and even 5!) I LOVE the book "Twelve Hours Sleep By Twelve Weeks Old" written by Suzy Giordano.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572246359/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466885430&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=insomnia+workbook

I have found it very helpful so far and my sleep has improved. It talks a lot about reconditioning yourself to be able to sleep.

The kids I nannied for (2 and 5) were amazing sleepers. When I found out I was pregnant I asked their mom what magic she used. She gave me this book. https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593 I haven't read it yet, but it definitely worked for her 2 kids.

Not sure if you've tried sleep training, but this book was a life saver for us.

Baby Wise

We spent the first 4 months soothing him to sleep multiple times throughout the night, and during naps. After a few weeks of training, he now consistently sleeps through the night, and goes down easily during nap time.

Ok you are mistaken if you think i'm recommending the same CIO for a 3-month old versus a 3-week old.

I cited Feber merely as a general term but obviously the technique you used on a 3-month old is not going ot be the same on a 3-week old.

The book baby-wise https://www.amazon.ca/Becoming-Baby-Wise-One/dp/1932740139?th=1&psc=1&source=googleshopping&locale=en-CA&tag=googcana-20&ref=pd_sl_34cj9m9b1t_e
describes an approach which involves a combination of CIO + close observation. The book coined a term for this method which i can't recall, but that's the method i'm advocating.

In fact, the book STRONGLY criticizes parents who hug their babies to sleep, including 3-week old newborns.

Seconded, you might want to look into the Safe Sleep Seven and the Book Sweet Sleep for some best practices.

Once he gets in a place where he can start taking some action and planning some things (which takes a while, believe me), I wholeheartedly recommend this book. My son slept through the night by 4-6 months of age (A MAJOR factor in keeping your sanity with an infant!). If he is open to help, I would even be willing to buy him a copy.

Both my boys have slept through the night, every night, since they were 8 and 12 weeks old (illness aside). Kids are 3 and 1.5 now. They still sleep all night.

To the surprise of my coworkers, neither "you're lucky" nor "thank the Seven Faced God" apply.

It was this:

Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997580801/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_J8Q3CbHSD3YGZ

Read it. Do it. Enjoy it. Pass it on.

Hey! It seems like you know what you're talking about... How do you combat books like https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345518470/ (Sweet Sleep) that say CIO is bad for brain development and has long term negative consequences? Ever since reading that book, my wife is ANTI-CIO and as such, we're hardcore bed sharing / attachment parents now... which kinda sucks but the kiddo loves it and we get plenty of sleep.... But HE has to be attached to us to sleep, forever now.

My twins aren't even born so I know nothing. However, I read 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old, it has a plan that seems solid and tons of tips. It has amazing rules. https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593

I met a black belt at a globetrotters camp who recommended Why We Sleep to me, it's a fascinating book and really changed how I view sleep and gave me a renewed focus on getting enough sleep.

I'd probably still aim to get out for my run, even on less sleep than normal. However, 8 hours of sleep is critical to our mental and physical wellness. There's an excellent book of the topic of sleep if you're a reader: https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

I would purchase this book. https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Sleeper-Science-Backed-Helping-Sleep-Newborn/dp/0399166025/ref=nodl_ We used this method to sleep train our 6 month old daughter. It goes over weaning night feedings and check-ins for crying are never longer than 5 minutes! It’s a great book and I feel definitely suits all your criteria and needs.

Edit. If you don’t want to purchase the book, research sleep wave method.

May I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? In two months, this drug-free psychotherapy undid my five years of Ambien addiction. My sleep still isn't perfect, but it's 90% better than it used to be, and it's just so liberating not to be drugging myself unconscious.


If you can't find a local therapist, books may also work since a lot of the therapy consists of exercises done at home.

Yes, this is trouble. I recommend this book for you to decide for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

Whatever allows you to survive the first 6 weeks is all good.

Edited to add: This book saved me - showed me what was "normal" sleep patterns by week so I didn't feel like I was messing anything up. It then gives an indication of reasonable nap schedules once the baby is a little older. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345486455/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It took us two rounds of sleep training. The second time we did this method: http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0757305601?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage and it finally fucking worked! Now my kid finally sleeps well 90+% of the time and I feel more like a human.

Dad of two kids here.

Buy these two books -

https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Block-Revised-Updated-Second/dp/0553393235

https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0553394800

...read them twice and commit to them.

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is sometimes difficult to put into practice, but once you do, your kid will sleep through the night. If you don't believe me, believe the Amazon reviews.

The other thing I would suggest is if you have the money and space, bring the gym home. I have a rowing machine at home. You don't need a gym to do pushups, sit-ups and burpees.

Read the book Why we sleep by Matthew Walker https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316
It might help,it’s a great book

Obviously I'm in late on this but I'm all for CIO. I have done it with both of my children and we are actually the envy of our other parent friends for having children that are on a predictible, healthy sleep schedule at 4 months old. 7 weeks is too early IMO, but at 4 months give it a shot. It's hard to let them cry at all, believe me I know, but we aren't talking an hour of crying. I used this book and this book to guide me. We did co-sleep until 4 months and then went into CIO (modified I suppose, but you'll see that in the books). Within 3 days my daughter was sleeping through the night at 4 months old. My son took about the same amount of time. My daughter is now 3 and still takes a midday nap and goes to bed around 8pm, sleeps through the night and wakes alert and happy. My son is 16 months and wakes up around 7am, naps at 10am-12:30pm, then again some days from 3:30-5:00pm, then goes down for the ENTIRE night at 7 or 8pm. We have video monitors so yes, I know they are sleeping.....not waking up crying and falling back asleep.

CIO gets a bad rep, but for us it has been wonderfully effective.

I know there are several conflicting opinions about sleep training. I got this [book] (http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step-/dp/0525949593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372162648&sr=8-1&keywords=twelve+hours+sleep+by+twelve+weeks+old). I have not followed it to the T, but I took some of the main points I felt were reasonable. First was to establish a bedtime routine. We close the curtains, change his diaper, put on fresh PJs and feed him his bottle in his room with just a nightlight on. I usually have to rock him to sleep for about 10-15 mins before he falls asleep. Then, to make sure he's really asleep, I rock him for another 10-15 mins. I put him in his crib, ever so gently, turn off the nightlight and close the door. My son is now 8 weeks old and typically sleeps anywhere from 8 pm to 6 am.

I can recommend his book "Why We Sleep"(https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316)

Not that it fixed my sleep problems, but it's a good read/listen!

I'm not here yet, but I've heard good things about this book- https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593

Basically, follow these steps, in order, and not moving on from one until the last is complete:

1- Feed 4 times during the day, every 4 hours (upon waking, 4 hours later, 4 hours later, and 4 hours later, then bedtime). Night feed as needed until this is done.

2- After the schedule in 1 is established, reduce the nighttime feedings in volume until they are eliminated. At this point, the child will be in the crib for 12 hours straight at night, only soothing if they've been crying for 3-5 minutes.

3- Once nighttime feedings are eliminated, train daytime naps: 1 hour in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon.

Totally, highly recommend everyone pick up the book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams.

It goes over the torrent of health problems that are all directly connected to obtaining less than optimal amounts of sleep, or less than optimal quality of sleep.

For those who would rather watch something, here is the author presenting at Google: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXflBZXAucQ

Big recommendation for the book and website:

https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com

Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997580801/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_SGOODb1G4PB9N

Here's a book on this topic. It scared the shit out of me. The stats on those that get 6hrs or less is really compelling. Everything seems to unravel with less than adequate sleep.
https://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144316

Recent scientific research conducted by renowned neurologists has essentially proven that the shorter your sleep, the shorter your lifespan.

We are only now beginning to fully realize just how much damage even a week of sleep deprivation has on an individual. u/just-home, I suggest this bestseller if you're interested in making everyday life a lot better :)

Please don't pull all-nighters. If we're talking studying, work, or whatever, you'll be more efficient the next day and get more done than you would ever have gotten done during said all-nighter. It's a genuinely stupid, inefficient thing to do.

I don't remember exactly what he says. I got the book from the library, so I don't have it on hand. My kid sleeps about 12 hours at night with one nap midday, 1-2 hours.


https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0553394800/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UGEDAMWRMQFC&keywords=weissbluth%27s+healthy+sleep+habits%2C+happy+child&qid=1549658452&sprefix=weissbluth%2Caps%2C278&sr=8-1

On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1932740139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_j2ChAb4P2ZRZH

Can't recommend it highly enough. It can be difficult at first, especially with your first child. It can be hard for Mom to hear the baby cry. But once you get in the routine it works like magic.

I hope not to sound as a spammer, i'm currently working on a website to solve these kind of issues, this link ( http://buuy.me/a/B01674BNU8 ) should always link to the local amazon (or the .com if no local amazon is found) !

The website is still a WIP but should be stable enough so feel free to use it if you need to link the book to someone which may not be from the US.