Reddit mentions: The best baby & toddler parenting books

I sent this email to my coworker about a little over a year ago. Hope it helps!!

Hi,

Here is my list.  I hope the links work or I wasted a lot of time.  LOL

Parent Books:

My Toddler Talks: Strategies and Activities to Promote Your Child's Language Development

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1477693548/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is the book I liked the best.  To the point, and gave me things I could actually do.  And oh my God, it helped so much!!! He learned and grew SO much after I implemented what I read in this book. 

It Takes Two To Talk: A Practical Guide For Parents of Children With Language Delays Third Edition

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0921145195/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

kind of long, a lot of detail, but explains types of speech delays and how children learn to speak

The Cow Says Moo: Ten Tips to Teach Toddlers to Talk: An Early Intervention Guide

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1482794403/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This book is alright.  There were some ideas in it that I'll use.  I'd recommend it if you want more ideas/books after the Teach my Toddler to Talk book

Children Books and Flash Cards:

Little Blue Truck Lap Board Book

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/054405685X/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is a great book.  There is a lot of action in this book and has a lot of association between animals and sounds.  Very engaging and rhyming.

Bright Baby Animals

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312492480/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

simple words, simple REAL pictures and one picture per page so as to not overwhelm.  Great book to teach first words.

Elmo Says... (Sesame Street) (Big Bird's Favorites Board Books)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0375845402/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is an action book, so your child would touch their nose, touch their toes, etc.  relating actions to  words is engaging and also the association helps foster language attrition.

From Head to Toe

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0064435962/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

same as the above book. 

Head Shoulders Knees and Toes

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0859537285/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s03?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Teaches body parts, has hand movements, rhyming/song  My son loves this book

My First Touch & Feel Picture Cards: Animals (My 1st T&F Picture Cards)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0756615151/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Real pictures and has different materials to touch like rough, sticky, etc.  Works well, my son likes this too

My First Touch & Feel Picture Cards: First Words (My 1st T&F Picture Cards)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0756615186/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

same as the above, just other words

DVD’s:

Baby Babble Beginning Words

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B015NERXBQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

So, some speech therapists say to have NO screen time.  Well, I put this on when we’re on long trips or if my kids just wants to chill.  There are several different dvd’s in this series.  I have 3.  He said some words he’s never said before after watching these.  I would recommend engaging WITH your child while watching these if you can.  If you can’t and you’re driving somewhere, then so be it.  It still helps in my opinion.

Baby Signing Time

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DHMCVKK/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend this.  I used this w/my daughter too.  Taught them both a lot of super helpful signs and words.  The video is super cute and the songs are great too.  My kids both love this DVD.  I would definitely get it.  In fact, I bought it twice bc the first dvd got scratched up due to use. 

Toys to encourage speech and language development:

4.5" Set of 6 Wolf, Lion, Owl, Penguin Wild Animals Plastic Nesting Dolls

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01L2UAVA0/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is great.  My kids love this.  It teaches the animals, sizes, opening, closing.  in and out.  super cute.

Tot Tube Playset - Toy Car and Ball Tunnel Ramp Race Track by Inspiration Play

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PFB0JTQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o08_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

My kids LOVE this.  super simple but fun.  Teaches taking turns, action words like "go" and "fast", use words like "ball" and "car" and "bounce"

Melissa & Doug Zoo Animals Sound Puzzle

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0029N2NLU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o08_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 In general, speech therapists don’t like toys that make sounds, but this puzzle my son loves and I make the sounds with him, he mimics me, so it works.  Also, there is a high association with puzzle making and language development.  So we work on puzzles a lot and he’s gotten a lot better at them.  It helps also to say “tuuuurn” to turn the puzzle piece and that kind of thing.

Melissa and Doug Jumbo Paint Brushes

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000M5J7W0/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

We bought water paint and have a big big roll of paper that we cut big pieces off and lay on the floor.  We paint and he uses these easy to handle brushes.  I’ll say words like “let’s paint” and “gentle” and I’ll name colors (but do not expect him to learn them).  I’ll make a face or something and tell him what I am drawing.  Called “self talk” or I’ll do “parallel talk” doing this too.

Melissa and Doug Latches Barn Toy

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01B1V12KS/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I HIGHLY recommend this toy.  Probably my favorite.  There are activities in the Teach your Toddler to Talk book that I used with this toy.  You say things like “Pig in” or “open door” “pig says oink oink” so it teaches actions, animals, sounds, and the latches are entertaining for opening and closing.  It’s engaging.  Super cute.

Melissa & Doug Hide and Seek Wooden Activity Board With Wooden Magnets

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0014E7DIS/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I’d recommend this toy too.  You can say things like “what’s behind the barn door?” or “where is the dog?” or “cookie!” and pretend to eat the cookies.  Super super cute.  Has helped him with several words.

Wonderworld Rainbow Sound Blocks - Stackable Hollow Shape Block Toys - 7 Piece Set https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005BHUU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

we love these too.  They make sounds and are different shapes and colors.  We use these alone and with other blocks.  We say things like “up” and “put on” and “uh-oh” “fall down” “pick up” “shake shake shake”  He likes these, so does my daughter

kilofly Kids Mini Band Musical Instruments Rhythm Toys Value Pack [Set of 12]

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01C84SUUM/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is just fun.  The kids like to make music.  The whistle helps with oral muscles.  The music helps and you can sing songs with it. You can say sounds like “boom boom boom” and “cling cling” and then use songs that help with rhyming and such that I have in that list for you.

And then just bubbles.  Buy bubbles.  Teaches breathing control and the words “bubble” and “pop” then you can teach the sign for “more” when your child wants to blow more bubbles.  Because you’re supposed to close the bottle each time and then they will want more and you say “More?” and then you sign it at the same time and then you say “Oh, more, okay!” and open it up and blow more bubbles and repeat until they start signing or asking for “more” or “more bubbles” or “bubbles” or “open”, etc.  So buy bubbles.  Lol.

My son loves basketball so we teach him “bounce bounce bounce” and “shoot the ball” and “make a basket” although he only says “ball” so far.  But its something he really really loves.  

We go on walks and point things out.  Or if we are at a fountain or something we sign and say “water, water” and just keep repeating it.  Every once in a while he will say “wah wah” so that’s something.  More than we had.

He can say “juice” and he would say that for every liquid he wanted.  So in the book, it said to give choices.  So I make a cup of milk and a cup of water.  And I say “do you want milk or water? “ or I say “milk or water” and I sign milk and water when I ask.  Then he will say and sign “Milk” which he NEVER did before.  But that was bc I gave him 2 choices and neither was juice so it forced him to tell me what he wanted.

Anyways, I hope this helps.  I did a LOT of research and reading on the types of toys to get and HOW to encourage talking.  So hopefully I have saved you some time.  I can tell you it’s worked wonders for me.  He went from saying 3 words to saying like 20 in 3 weeks.  It’s a work in progress but I feel really good about the direction we’re headed.

Let me know what you decide to buy and do.  I would love to hear about your progress. 

On the advice of friends, I got a Pack and Play to use as a cosleeper, as well as an extra one for the living area. I'm getting two cribs that can convert to toddler beds, but we plan to only set up one at first. My ideal set up would be to have a non-mini Arm's reach cosleeper in the bedroom, but I haven't yet found one at reasonable price.

Some babies love swings and others dislike them, so I'm starting with one swing, a rock n play, and a vibrator/bouncer and I'm going to see which item is most popular. I've been told that all of those can cause head deformities if the babies are in them for too long, so I have two maya wraps, two slings, and an ergo so we wear them.

I went with the Chicco keyfit car seat wise since it had the highest rating on consumer reports and, after playing with what friends had, I liked it the best. The chicco cortina together is very nice and I loved it when I tried it out, but it wouldn't fit in my car, so I found a used Snap N Go for $25 instead. I decided to get that style instead of the side-by-side because I've heard of people having problems fitting the side-by-side in small doorways.

In addition to the double stroller, I also got a Chicco keyfit caddy because I plan on wear one baby and push the other around.

I decided to get the car seat strollers for when they are young because I want to make things as simple as possible when I'm still new to this whole parenting thing. I also want to try out a single versus a double stroller since I know people who prefer each, and the frame strollers are small enough that I can fit both in my car.

I've been using craigslist, a local message board, and Mothers of Multiples consignment sales to get good deals on a lot of items, so in the end, I expect to spend less on my strollers than many people pay for one new one. I'm buying the crib and carseat new, and I've gotten a few other items as gifts, but everything else is used because I'd rather be overstocked and try out items than find myself lacking something useful later.

As far as books go, I highly recommend When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets and Quads because of its scientific, fact filled approach. Mothering Multiples for breast feeding techniques. I'd also recommend going to your library and checking out various books on raising twins. I can't remember all of the books I found helpful because I read so many. For general child care, Happiest Baby on the Block is a must read (or see, there's a DVD). My friend who had a premature baby said that this book saved her life. At first she thought her daughter just didn't like being swaddled, but it turned out that you are supposed to swaddle premature babies differently than full term ones. Now that her daughter is properly swaddled, she's much calmer. That book also inspired me to spend the money on a sleep sheep which is currently kidnapped by a friend.

Another thing that you may want to consider is cloth diapering. I've attended a few Mother of Multiples groups, and cloth diapering has been repeated many times as a way to save money on diapers. Even though I live in a small town, there are local stores and groups for parents to share techniques and tips on cloth diapering. Mine are due to November, so I haven't personally tried it out, but on the advice of other multiple members, I have a bunch of premature diapers for when they are newborn, and a growing collection of cloth (bought used to save money) for once they are bigger. Since I'm having two boys, I'm also making/buying cloth wipes so I can avoid pee mishaps during changing time. You can also buy wash cloths in bulk that perform a similar function, but I've priced making my own or buying used as cheaper.

Congrats!

Not all of these are "parenting" books, but they get at various aspects of what you might be looking for/need to help you prepare (in no particular order):

• Bringing up Bebe - Tells the parenting story of an American expat. living in Paris, and how she observed different parenting techniques between American and French families, and how that plays out in children's behavior. It is a fun "experience" story and I think it lends some interesting insights.
  
  
• Pregnancy, childbirth, and the newborn - I think this is the most informative, neutral, pregnancy book out there. It really tries to present all sides of any issues. I can't recommend this book enough. From here, you could explore the options that best fit your needs (e.g. natural birth, etc.)
  
  
• Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Look into this if you find you are having trouble conceiving, or if you want to conceive right away. Really great tips on monitoring the body to pinpoint the most fertile times and stay healthy before becoming pregnant.
  
  
• The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding - This is published by Le Leche League and really has everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, etc. After baby is born, kellymom.com is a good resource for quickly referring to for breastfeeding questions later, but seriously don't skip this book - it is great!
  
  
• Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare - Really comprehensive and probably the most widely read book about every aspect of child health and development (and also a lot of what to expect as parents.)
  
  
• NurtureShock - by far the most interesting book I've ever read in my life. Basically sums up research on child development to illuminate how many parents and educators ignore research based evidence on what works well for raising children. If you read nothing else in this book, at least read the sleep chapter!
  
  
• What's Going on in There? - This book was written by a neuroscientist after becoming a mom about brain development from pregnancy through about age 5. It has some of the same research as NurtureShock but goes way more in depth. I found it fascinating, but warning, I could see how it could scare some people with how much detail it goes into (like how many people feel that "What to Expect When Expecting" is scary.)
  
  
• Happiest Baby on the Block - There is a book, but really you can/should just watch the DVD. It has 5 very specific techniques for calming a fussy baby. Here are some recent reddit comments about it. Someday I will buy Dr. Karp a drink - love that man!
  
  
• The Wholesome Baby Food Guide - this book is based on a website which has some of the same information, but the book goes way more in depth about how to introduce food, with particular steps, to set baby up for a lifetime of good (non picky) eating habits.
  
  
• A variety of sleep books, so you can decide which method you might be comfortable with (I believe the Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child are pretty middle of the road, but you can look into bedsharing (The Dr. Sear's books) or the other end (Babywise) as discussed in other comments already here, etc. - these last two links I am letting my personal bias show - sorry, but I just think it is good to know all sides of an issue.)
  
  
• Huffington Post Parents section often has "experience" articles, and browsing subs like this can help with that too.
  
  
• A lot of people love the Bill Cosby Fatherhood book too, but my husband and I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure what is in it, but I imagine it is "experiences" based
  
  
• The Wonder Weeks - describes when and how babies reach developmental milestones, what to expect from those, and how to help your baby with them.
  
  Edit: I wanted to add brief descriptions and links (I was on my phone yesterday when I posted this.) I also added in the last book listed.
  
  I have literally read hundreds of parenting/child dev. books. I consider these to be the best of the best in terms of books that cover each of their respective topics in depth, from almost all perspectives, in as neutral of a way as possible, so that you can then make decisions about which more extreme (I don't mean that in a bad way) parenting styles might work for you and your family (e.g. attachment parenting, natural vs. medicated birth, etc.)
  

Parent of a 2 yr old getting ready for number 2 here. I'd say (in no particular order)...

• Do some arm weight exercises. You will spend a lot of time with your kid held in one arm and trying to cook/clean/game/carry/whatever with the other. Try walking around with a 20lb bag of flour carried in one arm for an hour. Hard work! Some arm weights now (for both of you) will pay off.
  
  
• We've been using G Diapers and we're quite happy with them. Biodegrade in 6 months, flushable, wet ones are compostable, about the same price as disposables, (arguably) more green than cloth, and no doing multiple loads of laundry every day with poop in your washing machine. Amazon subscriptions for diapers & wipes will be your favorite thing.
  
• Buy and read Happiest Baby on the Block. Seriously! The author's argument is essentially that humans have huge heads and are therefore born about 3 months before they are really ready (compared to other mammals) to allow both mother & child to survive the process. Anything you can do to simulate the womb environment during the first 3-6 months will help dramatically. This means swaddling, white noise (womb is a VERY noisy place and quiet is not what babies want), etc. Book is short but using the techniques in it I was able to take my newborn from full bore crying to asleep in about 30 seconds. As in, asleep in mid-scream. Highly recommended.
  
• Swaddling. Learn it, use it, love it. Up to 6 months IIRC. They make some specialized swaddling blankets which are pretty great when the kid is older. The concept is basically that kids don't have a lot of control over their motor functions early on so swaddling keeps them from accidentally waking themselves. Also warm and snug like the womb (see above) so makes 'em happy.
  
• Breastfeeding is hard and doesn't work for everyone. If you want to do it (and everyone generally recommends it), be aware (and make sure the mother is aware) that it isn't automatic and it isn't always easy. Your hospital is going to have lactation consultants on site and when you're in the recovery room post-birth, they're free! GET THEM TO COME HELP! Let me say that again, get the lactation consultant to come help when you're in the hospital. They usually only go to people who are having trouble, so get your nurse to have one come by if you are at all unsure of what's happening. Talk to them afterwards if you are still having trouble, but you'll have to pay an hourly rate. There are a surprising number of helpful instructional videos on youtube. I know, crazy but true.
  
• OK, all that said, don't freak out if breastfeeding doesn't work for you. It doesn't work for everybody. Buy a small can of formula and a few bottles to have on hand when you're home from the hospital. Supplementing with formula if mom is having trouble producing enough or switching over completely if it just isn't working is absolutely fine and does not mean you're a bad parent. Yes, breast feeding is generally better but formula produces perfectly good kids. If you do formula, the stuff from Costco is cheap and good. Consumer Reports & USDA agree. You'll save 50% plus.
  
• Making baby food is SUPER easy. E.g., put sweet potatoes in the oven for a while, chop, puree in a blender/food processor, put in ice cube trays, freeze, move to zip-top bags, done. You'll save lots of money and it's really quite easy. You do NOT need one of those expensive DIY kits. Do NOT make carrots at home. I forget the details (see google if you're curious) but home made carrot baby food can be poisonous.
  
• Apparently popcorn is very dangerous for children. The hulls of the kernels can get caught in the throat at a variety of points which in the worst case scenario means that the kid can stop breathing and a tracheotomy won't help. Literature I saw said don't give kids popcorn until they're 5.
  ... and now I need to go to work. Hope this helps. May add more later if I think of something helpful.

I want to encourage you and say your CPTSD won’t affecting your parenting and you providing her with love and security is enough, but I also don’t want to delude you into a false sense of security. To answer your question as to how I do it: Firstly, I put in a massive amount of effort everyday to keep myself grounded and mindful and conscious of how I’m acting/reacting towards my child. On top of that, I never let myself slip into depressive states. On top of that, I have learned to manage and control all of my triggers so that my emotional states never negatively affect my child.


One major element of CPTSD is that it is an attachment disorder. This attachment disorder WILL affect your ability to provide a consistent sense of safety and security to your little one unless you learn how to manage and counteract those insecurities. Another element of CPTSD is that it causes you to develop a distrust/distaste for humans, and a desire to avoid human interaction. This will be absolutely detrimental to your child as he/she ages. All children rely on their parents to provide them with safe, healthy and consistent family and friends. It’s a very tiring and very difficult job, but it creates a ‘safety net’ of security on which your child can lean. How you interact with and value others will turn into how your child interacts with and values others. You will have to spend lots of time around other moms, letting your child play with their child. It’s a strain on you emotionally and mentally, but it’s necessary for healthy child development.


The best advice I can give you as a fellow parent with CPTSD is to start searching for a trauma psychologist and get an appointment scheduled ASAP. Of course anyone can recover from CPTSD without the aid of a psychologist, but when you add a child to the mix, quality and speed of recovery becomes a very important factor. Getting a psychologist to help you process your trauma and learn newer and better ways to do things will save you a lot of time and heartache. A psychologist will also teach you the importance of obtaining and maintaining friendships, and how to better manage all the triggers that parenting will bring up for you.

In the meantime, here is a short list of my all-time favorite parenting books. I’ve read probably hundreds of parenting books at this point: most are bad, a few are great. These are the best, most knowledgeable books I’ve found for ‘people like us’, at least in my opinion:

The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering our Children

ParentSpeak: What's Wrong with How We Talk to Our Children--and What to Say Instead

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind

The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development

The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby

No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind


Feel free to PM me anytime :)

One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.

The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.

Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.

The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:

The Happiest Baby On The Block

I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.

Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.

Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)

For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).

Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.

Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.

That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.

It sounds like the two of you have talked this through and made a decision. That's good. That itself should help your mental state.

Personally, I'm an information person. If something is changing in my life, I look it up. Internet, books, whatever. In this case, I recommend What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. They're pretty straightforward, and have information that will make you feel more informed and comfortable, help you decide what supplies you need and make decisions (breast or bottle, crib or bassinet, circumcision, etc.), as well give you little tidbits about how the baby's developing at each stage and how the mother's body changes (things she might have noticed but not thought to attribute to the pregnancy). If either of you is a worrier, I would recommend you skip the chapter on what could go wrong - every other page mentions the words "hemorrhage and die", and even though a complication that severe is incredibly rare, especially with good prenatal care, it might freak you out again. Personally, I read it, but that's just me.

Support each other, and keep communication very open. You need to be working together on this in every way. Keep in mind she may need physical support, as well as emotional. Morning sickness can be a bitch, or she may be tired all the time. Then again, she may get no symptoms. Every pregnancy is different - even for the same woman. You never know how she'll feel.

Find a good OB/GYN she's comfortable with. It's not fun being groped by and sharing intimate symptoms with someone you don't like. Find out what hospital to go to and if he'll be on call to deliver, and if not, who will be. Try to check the place out - some places offer maternity tours. Basically, plan enough and learn enough that you are as comfortable as possible with the process and confident that you know what you want. Be prepared to change your plan as necessary - it happens, and trust me, it's a significant part of parenting.

As for parenting - Be there for your kid. Spend time together talking, playing, and letting him or her know you love him. Learn to be patient, because you'll need it. Cover those, and you cover most of parenting. The rest is about teaching him to be the person you hope he'll be. Every parent starts with no experience and it's all on the job training, so your not at a disadvantage there. You'll learn as much from your kid as he'll learn from you.

Most importantly, don't worry so much! It will all fall into place, and you're in a much better place to deal with having a child than many. I realize that's futile advice, because even when it's planned, hell, even when it's planned and it's not your first, it's nerve-wracking. Pregnancy is like that. But the panic will subside, and you'll calm down tremendously once you realize that you can handle this - and you CAN handle this.

Congratulations, and good luck :)

My cousin recommended "The happiest baby on the block" as a book. I found it incredibly hard to read but I came away with these methods for soothing a baby:

>The 5 “S’s”: the simple steps (swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging and sucking) that trigger the calming reflex. For centuries, parents have tried these methods only to fail because, as with a knee reflex, the calming reflex only works when it is triggered in precisely the right way. Unlike other books that merely list these techniques Dr. Karp teaches parents exactly how to do them, to guide cranky infants to calm and easy babies to serenity in minutes…and help them sleep longer too.

As for the "right" combination, just keep calm (babies can sense tension/anxiety) and experiment (as I recall). When teeny-tiny, our son really liked to be swaddled, and shushing worked, well too. We had no qualms about a pacifier - we're not sure how those "crazies" (playful jest, people!) who try to do without pacifiers make it.

Conversely, he was several months old before he got used to a swing, but we could gently bounce with him in our arms while gently rocking to help calm him down.

Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.

As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.

I found a lot of the books geared towards mums like What to Expect The First Year and The Toddler Years by the same author/publisher to be a little condescending and where I wanted to know how the brain worked and why my daughter thought like she did, these books answered a little too superficially for my taste, and I also disliked the format. I found myself referring to a textbook I had from college (I started as a nursing major but ultimately went a different route when I discovered I wasn't very good with "customer service"). This book is readable but explains more the physiologic and psychologic changes the child, adolescent, and ultimately adult goes through, and I found it way more helpful than the "mommy" books. Any similar textbook would probably work. I bet they have child development textbooks that would be even better.

I try to live by the "treat others as I would like to be treated" adage and I think the same applies to be successful with children. I don't think being INTJ would be a hinderance to enjoying or relating to children. In fact I think their simple, honest, forthright nature is actually easier for us to understand.

I read "Oh Crap! Potty Training". The author's recommendation is to not start until they are at least 20months and can sing their ABCs. My kid was speech delayed at that age and definitely couldn't sing her ABCs (and still can't, at 2.5yrs), but we dove in right at 20m and she trained super easily compared to most of my friends' kids, even training for naps and nights. It took us like 2w to get to where I felt like I could leave the house without accidents. And she learned to say "pee pee" when she had to use the bathroom, so that was a plus.

My second born will be 20m in 1 week and I can't decide if I want to dive in and go through 2 weeks of potty training accidents to get the sweetness of never needing diapers again. It's a tough call to make!

Anyways, we used the little separate training potty at first, so that she could put herself on her potty and go pee, and then eventually moved up to setting her on the toilet with an insert which was necessary for using the restroom during outings. By the time I potty trained her, she was also sleeping in a big kid bed already which was super helpful.. I would sit her little potty on a waterproof mat on her floor and if she woke up from her nap, she could quickly sit herself on her potty before I could even get in there. She rarely had accidents in bed.

We read a lot of books about toilets... "Everybody Poops", "Potty Time", and "Once Upon a Potty". Some other books I liked were "Diapers are Not Forever", "Potty", and "Let's Go Potty, Elmo!".

Material Goods for the baby:
Carseat,
diapers,
wipes,
baby nail file or baby mittens (newborn nails are SO SHARP),
weather-appropriate clothing (go with the elastic-bottomed gowns for the first 3 months (you want easy access to diapers),
old towels/burp cloths/cheapo 10-pack of washcloths,
a way to carry the baby (Ergo/Moby/baby sling is AMAZING or a stroller),
bottles if you plan on formula feeding/maybe a pump/bottles if you plan on breastfeeding (that one is a wait-and-see purchase),
gentle soap for washing the baby (store brand is fine)
place for baby to sleep (cosleeping/pack n play/crib/swing)

Material Goods for the parents:
Box of ultra-absorbent pads for Mom after the birth,
cheap/old pillows to prop up Mom after the birth,
Mom's favorite water bottle if she's breastfeeding,
old towels to go under Mom (old towels in general for spit up/accidents),
extra laundry detergent,
nursing bra if she's breastfeeding,
some LOUD white noise maker (vac, hair dryer, dryer, sound machine, YouTube hair dryer looping track, etc).
A copy of Happiest Baby on the Block.
CONSIDER getting a pair of noise-cancelling headphones for when you're "off-duty".

Material Goods in general:
LOTS of food that's either easy to prepare (boxed) or pre-prepared (precooked and frozen or canned), and a box of dry milk as a backup for the boxed food (tuna helpers and the like),
paper plates,
disposable utensils,
disposable cups,
vinegar for cleaning (helps get baby spitup out of clothing/carpet).

Other To Do:
1- Make sure you've got a pediatrician picked out.

2- Know the normal baby sleep schedule. Here's a good site. They DO NOT sleep through the night early on, they have to wake to feed every couple of hours. That's NORMAL and anyone who tells you differently can shove a sock in it.

3- Consider the 6-on/6-off sleep system... Mom sleeps from 6pm-midnight while Dad takes care of newborn. Dad sleeps from midnight-6am. Sleeping parent gets the headphones.

4- Remember that the first 3 months are the hardest. It gets easier. And Reddit Parents are usually always here for you.

Good luck!

As far as newborn, we had some good success with the baby white noise albums. This is just a bare example but it comes with a story I will leave for later. Specifically we bought 1 off of iTunes, it was about an hour and a half and included a heartbeat-type noise on top of the general shwooshing noise.

Later when she grew up a bit (6 months old, 1 year old, whatever) we filled up a 2 gig jump drive with all the smooth, mellow, folksy, hipster music I have in my library (bands like The Capsules, Seabear, Sufjan Stevens, Iron & Wine, etc etc)

Why that music? Cause I AM HER FATHER AND SHE WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL HER TO. Nah, but seriously, I like this type of stuff, I picked the softer of it to give to her while sleeping. Music is important to me, I want it to be important to her. At first it was transitioning her from the white noise album to something that meant something to me. Now she cant' sleep without music playing. I'm cool with that for now.

OK, so on to the story about the loud noises and heartbeat: Before The Happiest Baby On The Block became a franchise with DVD sets and followers and a church named after them... (Did that happen yet? It looks like it will) The Happiest Baby On The Block was a book. We bought it and read it and learned a lot of what seems afterwards as obvious information, but while reading, it was unknown.

the point to THIS story is that the 1st 3 months of having a baby you need to replicate what they were used to in the womb. It's loud in the womb, there is all this blood running through vessels and food digesting (I have no idea what the sounds are in a womb) and there is the ever-present heartbeat, cause that guy lives right next door. Anyway, book explains it's loud in there and replicating the noise will actually help calm a newborn, not disturb him.

Have you had her hearing tested? My speech therapist recommended this website, although I haven't personally examined it. Do you think that she might be trying to speak, but has a hard time pronouncing the words? If this is the case, then focusing on simplifying the words is best. For example, grapes is hard to understand and difficult to scaffold because you would go apes-rapes-grapes. So I taught my boys uvas, the Spanish word. We did Vas, then uvas. They picked it up in one session.

Sign language can also help with this. My autistic son's words are very garbled and using the sign language helps me figure out what he's sayin and then build on that. For example, when I wanted to get them to say please regularly last month, I taught them the sign and the word at the same time. My son pronounced it as "me/mease" first and, if it wasn't for the sign, I probably wouldn't have recognized "me" as an attempt at please.

You can also use sound effects. Sound effects count as words and they are much easier to get kids to copy. For example, when they were interested in a violin, I made up a sign and a sound. I'd say, "Violin, wee-ooh" and do the sign. They now call violins wee-oohs. Kitty's were "meow", horses are "neigh", etc. The speech therapist taught me this and makes a little noise and action with all the vehicles (both boys love vehicles).

Exposing them to multiple speakers, especially young children, also really helps. Both of my boys pick up more words when they are around other young children saying those words. Siblings can sometimes end up harming speech if they speak for each other, but stranger children can help a lot. Try to have a bunch of different people say the words.

Are you using Don't statements when you correct your child? 21 months is still young and it's very possible she's not fully understanding you. Instead of saying, "Don't climb on the table", say "Please sit in the chair." If she's looking at you while misbehaving, or runs away laughing then that doesn't sound like autism because she's doing it for your reaction. My son has a NT twin who is very stubborn and loves to get negative attention when I'm not giving him enough attention.

Most studies don't show spanking to be an effective form of punishment, so that's probably also contributing. Check out Happiest Toddler on the Block for tips on how to give her lots of positive attention.

I don't have kids but I found that reading some parenting books has helped me to understand both about myself and things that my parents did wrong, and how normal healthy parents respond to their kids. "The Conscious Parent" is an amazing book for this. It is to teach parents how to respond to their kids in a healthy way while being conscious of their own reactions and feelings and how to NOT put your issues on your kid. It's a great book. I love what the author is doing in trying to teach parents how to respond to their kids lovingly and not as a reaction /due to their own issues.

https://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Parent-Transforming-Ourselves-Empowering/dp/1897238452

This STEP parenting series is also good about how to talk to kids and what consequences are supposed to be like. (not crazy insane screaming punishments and 6 month groundings, like happened at my house) There's a different book for each age range.

https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Handbook-Systematic-Effective-Parenting/dp/0979554209/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1504368293&sr=1-1&keywords=step+parenting+systematic

The fact that you are concerned about how to best respond to your potential child and how it will make them feel means you are already far ahead of your parents. N parents don't think about this stuff.

I didn't read through all of it, but from skimming over it I think you may be interested in some of these (you didn't say what age your kids were so I'm just giving you everything I know of):

• Any books/documentaries on the Summerhill School (A. S. Neill's school)
  
  
• Anything about Peaceful Parenting. Such as Parenting With Love And Logic.
  
  
• Stefan Molyneux's parenting videos
  
  
• Resources for Infant Educarers books and blogs, such as Janet Lansbury's blog, Your Self-Confident Baby.
  
  
• Any Montessori books
  
  These are all about respecting your child, seeing them as a capable human being, and including them in the family.

Pregnancy:
Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn Penny Simkin, April Bolding, Ann Keppler, Janelle Durham, Janet Whalley. This book is great from conception to about 6 weeks. The chapters are short and to the point. Includes all types of birth plans and doesn't talk down about intervention. My husband loved this book because it includes pictures and descriptions of how he could help during labor. It gave him a plan and made him feel like he was positively contributing during labor. The section on newborn care is short, to the point and very helpful to new, overtired parents.

Baby:
Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start Magda Gerber, Allison Johnson. We tried attachment parenting for the first 6 months of our first baby's life and it did not fit with our personalities. I read about Respecting Infant Education(RIE) and Magda Gerber's approach and it seemed to fill all the holes that I felt attachment parenting was leaving in our lives. It helped us to connect with our baby on an emotional level while respecting his autonomy and individuality.

*Toddler:
1,2,3...The Toddler Years: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers Irene Van der Zande . Short and sweet. Gives great practical adivice on setting limits and allowing your child to emote and empathizing, but not allowing harmful/bad behavior to occur/continue.

Janet Lansbury Is a great online resource for RIE.

​

1. Are you the asshole for trying to limit her visits to non-work, non-school nights? Absolutely not.
   
2. Nobody in this thread but you knows the extent of her true disabilities, save for you and are making assumptions based on feelings, not facts.
   
3. Have you asked your sister in law what her local school district said in response to her wanting to sign the daughter up for school?
   
4. Did the local school district say they could not take her? (It's illegal, but they do it all the time anyways.)
   
5. Does your sister in law know that your niece is legally entitled to "an education" even if the school district says no? (Most people don't know that even severely mentally disabled children are entitled to "an education" provided by the school district.)
   
6. Why does your sister in law stay with her 24 / 7? It sounds like your sister in law would like some time off too? Is this because your sister in law thinks she has no options?
   
7. Do you know the organizations in your area that help dealing with DS children?
   
8. Are there any?
   
9. How much do they cost?
   
10. Can your sister afford them?
    
11. People treat you the way you train them to treat you.
    
12. It is hard work to train people, whether they are children or adults.
    
13. You are criticizing your sister in law for spoiling her daughter, but you have been spoiling her mother the same amount.
    
14. Both take education and work to know how to deal with properly. What you are doing sounds extremely hypocritical to me. What have you done to learn how to train people how to treat you?
    
15. Are you the asshole for calling CPS, which is known to be a corrupt, incompetent organization? Absolutely.
    
16. Children and people don't come with instruction manuals. You do what you know how to do. Your sister in law is doing what she knows how to do.
    
17. You aren't going to do your family any good by creating a unrepairable rift in it.
    
18. Educate yourselves. This is by no means a comprehensive list that will solve all your problems, but the information in them is worth the read watch.
    
19. Some resources are:
    
20. Super Nanny
    
21. https://www.supernanny.co.uk
    
22. My favorite episode is the kid who wouldn't stay on the naughty seat and was put back dozens of times. Finely got the idea and was better than all the other kids after that.
    
23. Parent Effectiveness Training
    
24. https://www.gordontraining.com/parent-programs/parent-effectiveness-training-p-e-t/
    
25. Gordon Training also has Leadership Effectiveness Training based on the same principles.
    
26. Before you complain and say you don't want to spend money on a training program, Gordon's books are in every public library I have ever been in.
    
27. Gordon was the first psychologist to train children without spanking. Most of the rest of the child rearing theories are based on his.
    
28. Happiest Baby on the Block
    
29. https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
    
30. Now this one's title says it is for babies, but I have found that it works for people of all ages and I do mean all ages, adults included. When you are upset, what do you do?
    
    1. Turn on some non-aggravating noise or music (Shush)
       
    2. Wrap yourself up in a blanket (Swaddle),
       
    3. Turn on your side and put yourself in a fetal position (Side),
       
    4. Rock yourself (Swing), and
       
    5. Drink warm tea? (Suckle).
       
31. There are tons of self-help books and videos in your local public library and on YouTube. Get recommendations and dig into them. And ffs don't just read / watch, do them, the way they are supposed to be done. Patience and Consistency is key in dealing with people.
    
32. P.S. Try the Happiest Baby thing on your niece when she is upset. It works in about 30 seconds for babies.
    
33. Oh and there is supposed to be someone with a great potty training system out there, sorry don't have the name or the link for that. You will have to research that.

I had a crappy father, but he pressed me to work hard at math. That was good.

He was a construction worker and every time he fixed something around, he made me stand there and hands his tools to him, so I can fix just about anything around the house.

Here's a book on how to raise a smart and happy child.
https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Rules-Baby-Updated-Expanded/dp/0983263388

Now that my daughter is a toddler, the pediatrician recommended this book
https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Discipline-Effective-Parenting/dp/149262988X

Don't let her watch Disney princess movies if you can help it, except Brave is probably good http://national.deseretnews.com/article/20551/disney-princess-culture-may-not-be-great-for-the-future-of-little-girls.html

I play the Winnie the Pooh educational videos for her, so that's what she likes: 123's, Shapes and Sizes, ABC's.

In order to deal with talking to her about sex, which you may need to do as early as age six, read this book https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Sex-Navigating-Complicated-Landscape-ebook/dp/B0111YAT0Y

I am so deeply disturbed by what girls have to deal with now days. It's so much worse than when I was a teen. Worrying about my daughters keeps me up at night.

What to Expect (so patronizing, I couldn't even finish it)

The Mayo Clinic guide (horribly written, really dumbed down)

I wasn't thrilled with the Hypnobirthing book (the Monghan Method). I actually get the purpose of the technique and took classes but I had to wade through a lot of woo. That book could have been a booklet and they could stand to elevate the reading level a bit.

I read probably every book on baby sleep ever published. The one I think is most underrated is the Ferber book. Regardless of your opinion on the so-called Ferber method, there's a lot of great sleep science in that book. Didn't like the Baby Whisperer at all, and not because I had an issue with the methods but the writing and tone. My god.

Since I've trashed a bunch of books I'll make some recommendations:

Birth Day: A Pediatrician Explores the Science, the History, and the Wonder of Childbirth This isn't so much a what to expect but covers what is going on during pregnancy and childbirth. It's super interesting and very well written. I wish more people knew about this book.

Your New Pregnancy Bible pro: very detailed, lots of info. con: no one edited the damn thing

I actually liked the Happiest Baby on the Block but I thought it could be half as long.

Baby 411 This is more for when they're born but it's really straightforward and gives you summaries of current thinking on most things baby-related. Then you can do further research.

Control-Fed to see if anyone had mentioned this and they haven't-- "The Happiest Baby On The Block," by Dr. Harvey Karp. I can't imagine what the first six months would have been like for us without it. I still shhhhhh my baby to sooth her at almost 15 months, and it still works. Find a radio station with the flattest static you can, and play it for her, all night long. It'll sooth her and block out background noises that may disturb her. To be honest, the rest of the book wouldn't be very helpful for you now since it's meant for newborns, but the white noise may still work.

If you're this stressed out, your baby can probably sense it. I'm certainly not trying to guilt you more; it's just a really nasty vicious circle. I'm not nearly as at the end of my rope as you sound, but I also work, so I get a 10 hour break every day from my kid, which probably goes a long way. Like you, our families are not close, and we don't really have any friends in the area; in my case, my husband works a LOT so it's often just me and the baby.

Everyone keeps telling me to join a meet up group of moms. I haven't found one yet that meets on weekends, but you seem to be a stay at home mom and it might be easier for you. Also, if you can afford it, something like Gymboree where you can make mom friends and get a change of setting.

Good luck, and hang in there.

Edit: Re: bottles: Some babies don't like bottles at all, they will drink from spoons, or just go straight to cups. Try a straw sippy cup, like this one-- my kiddo's been on them since about 10 months.

I think it's pretty normal to have some anxiety, especially with your first kid. The first two weeks are the hardest. Just go into survival mode and concentrate on making sure everyone is fed and getting some sleep. Make sure you have a good diaper changing station so you can change diapers in your sleep. Trust yourself, your wife, and your kid to figure things out. Because you'll learn as you go and it will get easier.

There are a lot of resources out there too.

The best all around book I had was Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 5th Edition: Birth to Age 5 by The American Academy of Pediatrics. It covers all the essentials and was written by pediatricians so the advice is solid. Looks like you can get it for $5 used from Amazon.

For me it was "The Missing Baby Manual."

Good luck. You'll do fine.

It's okay not to share... and other renegade rules

My kid is definitely free range, and so am I. This book helps explain why being less controlling and allowing more free play will help kids grow up to be compassionate adults.

And I love this thread, thank you for posting this! I will be checking out the suggestions!

Also look into the topics of "unschooling" or "radical unschooling"

Get the following:

• Happiest Baby on the Block: great descriptions on swaddling, soothing, pacifier use, nursing, etc. A lifesaver for sure.
  
  
• What to Expect: The First Year: Tons of info about everything you didn't know to even ask. Bathing the baby, sleeping schedules, nursing/bottle feeding, etc. More of a "desk reference" type book, and actually a very good bathroom read.
  
  
• The Baby Sleep Solution: Not everyone is down with this type of book, but it really helped us get ourselves and our baby on a schedule, which is vital for parents to keep them SANE.
  
  When the pediatrician comes to check in on the baby while at the hospital, ask TONS of questions. They don't mind and it will make you feel better. That's what you're paying them for!!
  
  Finally, relax and enjoy. They are tougher than they look.

Check out Diaper Free Baby ($11 at Amazon). It's a nice, approachable guide, and discusses techniques for full-time and part-time "elimination communication".

A more thorough book is the classic Infant Potty Training ($16.50 at Amazon).

I recommend the simple, inexpensive Baby Bjorn potty. It's easy to clean, travels well, is small enough for an infant but scales just fine to a two-year-old. We have two; one in the bedroom, one in the living room. (The idea being to make it really easy to do the right thing -- the same reason McDonalds makes sure there's always a trash can within a dozen steps of any table.)

Good luck!

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was a gift from a friend and my absolute favorite when I was pregnant. I've gifted it to several friends since. "What to Expect" I found surprisingly off-putting, much more "What to Expect if You Are Married and Upper-Middle Class".

For later, I loved Simplicity Parenting, Baby-Led Weaning, and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Those last three I got from our local library.

First: Congrats!

Sounds good that you guys are already sitting down and talking things through. Fact of the matter is that you'll never be 100% prepared to have a kid, nor will you be prepared for what your kid does tomorrow. They change so fast and it's all new to you. Your instincts to nurture and love should get you a long way, and stay smart/ahead of things when it comes to daycares, school registration, supporting your kid, etc.

When I found out my wife was pregnant I was the same age as yourself. I found that reading books written for "dad" weren't for me because they were too cliched in their approach. I purchased, and read, this book: Caring for your young child birth - age 5 by the APA. Also get yourself a copy of Baby 411. That book talked us off the ledge and kept us out of the ER a number of times.

The other thing I did to prepare was to get consumer reports to research cribs, car seats, etc, etc, etc. That helped me quite a bit to narrow down the field, and then I cross referenced reviews and pricing on Amazon and my local baby stores.

New dad pro tip: Build the crib inside the baby's intended room. Assembled, it probably won't fit through the door so if you build it outside the room, get ready to rebuild it inside anyway :)

Also, take care of your lady. She's going to go through some serious shit for the next 9-10 months. Support her, be there for her, care for her.

My two favorites have been:

Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina

How Toddlers Thrive by Tovah P. Klein

​

I listened to both via audiobook, narrated by the authors.

Medina is a neuroscientist and totally geeks out about the long term studies and advice that can be pulled based on observable and repeatable outcomes.

Klein runs a research facility that doubles as a daycare/preschool connected with a university that studies early childhood behaviors.

​

Both are clearly experts in their field, and their advice is rather similar, but both bring a fun perspective. They're both parents as well, and very clearly love their kids as well as put their money where their mouth is!

​

Baby Center has descriptions of baby games by week of development, and you can sign up to have them emailed to you each week. Wonder Weeks also has a variety of ways to interact and engage with your baby during each of the growth spurts. I rented the ebook for free through my local library using the Overdrive app. You can also take her to a mommy & me yoga class or any other mom & baby meetup to talk with other moms, give baby a chance to see other babies, and get more ideas of things to do together.

Music also helps. When I'm bored with baby games and just staring at her, I'll turn on Spotify. It usually inspires me to sing and dance with/at her.

That being said, everything is brand-new and amazing to your baby. She's only been on the planet for 3 months, so she's never seen a washing machine, a spoon, a tree, a dog, or a tax form before. I would just strap baby into an Ergo carrier and take her with me as I checked the mail, grocery shopped, walked around the neighborhood, tidied the house, etc. Or I'd plop her in a bouncer while I did laundry, washed dishes, did my hair, etc. If she got fussy or needed something I'd attend to her, but otherwise she was happy to watch me go about my business. Bonus points if you narrate to her.

Your local kid resale store or pop-up consignment sale (ours are called Kid 2 Kid and Rhea Lana) will have several jumparoos, and I bet several of them will be multi-colored. It's something that's only been used for a couple of months and my baby will only use for a couple of months, so why buy not buy used? It's better for the wallet and the planet.

I'm not a moderately granola mom yet (couple weeks to go) but I'm a librarian, and I saw some books that caught my eye the other day, called loose parts and loose parts 2 that look fascinating and super fun with great ideas for diy toys. You can always ask your local library if they do interlibrary loan if they don't have it.

The method I use is very similar to the 'Oh Crap Potty Training' book, although the last time I potty trained was over 10 years ago before this was around. Basically, you spend 2 days entirely dedicated to potty training the kid and are then done with it. Since I usually had 5-8 foster kids at a time, I was never keen on letting the process drag out for weeks or months.

The above book details the process, but the bulk of the book is emotionally preparing the parents to potty train (which is usually the biggest hurdle in the process). The steps are basically take the diaper off your kid, and let them pee on themselves. Move them to the potty. Next time they start to go, move them to the potty. Repeat 100x. It has never once failed to potty train one of my kids. Some kids it really only takes an afternoon, others it takes the full 2 days with some accidents for a week or two after.

Kids also vary on the overnight aspect. I myself wet the bed until I was age 10... but obviously I was "potty trained". I put a paper diaper on my kids overnight until they were around 2, just to minimize mess from possible accidents. I'm usually awake until at least 11pm-midnight, and would take the kids to pee before I went to sleep, thus reducing the chance of them wetting overnight.

You can also train your kids to pee on command. It sounds funny but is very useful! While you're potty training, make some noise or say a word every single time they pee. I go "pssss" and laugh and the kids go "psss" as well and love it. Pretty quick they come to associate that sound with releasing urine. You can put them on the toilet before leaving the house, or in the middle of the night, or in the middle of a tantrum, go "psss" and they will pee without even thinking.

I've helped a lot of friends potty train their kids, and it really is the parents who need to be "ready", not the kid. Most of my foster kids were special needs and of course raised in very questionable circumstances, and also not necessarily bonded to me... yet I was able to potty train all of them, and even my sister's son who has cerebral palsy and somewhat limited bladder/bowel control.

Do it when your kids are young and it's just a function. Wait until they can reason/argue with you, and it becomes a battle of wills and emotions.

That's why I highly recommend reading the book linked above, because for most people it's more than just the methodology, it's a new mindset they need to develop.

He sounds scared. I have a smart, sensitive, emotive 2.5 year old who was similar about toy sharing--mostly because another toddler we know was repeatedly snatching toys from her. I wrote about it a little bit here. I've dealt with it by repeatedly emphasizing to my daughter that I won't let Jane take toys from her, that she can play with a toy until she's finished, that she can say to Jane "No, I'm using that." I mean, I have literally pried the other kid's hands off a toy my daughter was using. We still have disaster play dates sometimes, but when that happens, I have my daughter dictate a letter to Jane. The last one was something like this:

"Dear Jane,

I feel mad about the toy. You took it from me and I was using it. I told mommy to set a timer and I would give it to you when I was done but you took it anyway and I was mad. I tickled your baby sister then I felt better. I was using it. Don't take things when I'm using it. We can still be friends. Still friends.

Love,
Molly."

I watch other parents at playgroups really closely and it's common to see a kid hoarding toys because they feel insecure--and for the parents to promptly force them to give those toys up. Which of course leaves the kid feeling even more vulnerable and insecure. I used to do the same thing--you don't want to think your kid doesn't know how to share. But really, who doesn't know how to share--the kids who want to play alone with a toy (totally developmentally appropriate at 2.5) or the ones who hound after kids who are engaged with something and snatch it from them?

I found this book really, really helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Share-Renegade-Raising-Competent-Compassionate/dp/1585429368/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469537025&sr=8-1&keywords=it%27s+okay+not+to+share

It's going to take some work to talk to your son before and after every social situation. Lots of empathy. If he feels nervous, stay next to him. Tell him "I know you feel scared when other kids want to play with toys you're using. I'll stay next to you and help you tell them with words that they can't use them until you're done. If you get upset, we can go outside to cool off for a few minutes, but then I'd like you to come in and try to play again."

I know it sucks, to watch your kid tantrum. I know it's alarming. But he's trying to communicate his discomfort to you. It's up to you to give him better words to do that and better coping strategies for social situations.

Congratulations!!!!! I read Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra. It's a good book on pregnancy and offers some good tips on relaxation, nutrition, etc. It's kind of a holistic, eastern meets western philosophy book. I really enjoyed this because it treats your pregnancy as a beautiful journey.

For babies, I have read [Secrets of the Baby Whisperer] (http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Communicate/dp/0345479092/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374606157&sr=1-2&keywords=baby+whisperer) and Happiest Baby on the Block. Both came highly recommended by other moms.

Oh, my daughter is usually 1-2 weeks ahead of the "leaps" but once I noticed that trend, I just auto-adjust when I read the book and look at the app. I also appreciate that they mention many times in the book and app that no baby will ever hit 100% of the milestones all at once.

I guess I should also recommend "What to Expect: The First Year" - There's a lot of this book that I really don't like, but the most helpful bit of it is how they break down what "a few", "some", "half of", and "most" babies do at each month in the first year. It helps me be logical and not freak out when my daughter doesn't hit some milestones when she's "supposed" to, and feel proud when she's accomplished some things that only "a few" babies do at that time.

For instance, my daughter is almost 9 months and does not crawl at all. I don't think any baby hates the notion of crawling more than she does. She also rarely rolls over, even though she was supposed to have mastered this 3-4 months ago. But, she claps (which she's not "supposed" to do until she's 11 months), waves (same), and pulls herself to standing (1 month "early"). It helps me not worry knowing these things!

As far as being super simple to operate the Baby Jogger's are near the top of the list. The non modular ones have a strap in the seat that you pull up on and it folds in 1/2. The modular ones have push buttons on the hinge. We have a couple of stores near us that carry the majority of the line, so both grandmas have gotten to take a look at them. Both have signed off on them being "grandma friendly" if that tells you anything about their ease of use.

They're not the beasts, as far as weight goes, that the all in one systems are, but they don't feel as flimsy as an umbrella stroller either. What sealed them for me was being down the aisle looking at something else and turning around to watch my wife pull one down off the chest high riser. I can't argue if Mom and the Grandmas think they can manage not only the stroller but getting it in and out of the car on their own.

One of the most invaluable resources I've found for gear questions like this is Baby Bargains it's a great jumping off point for the essential gear. They break down most manufacturers and their models, and give you a great head start on what you'll find when you go shopping for x. We haven't upgraded to the '13 edition, but I can't recommend the '11 version highly enough.

Wow -- what a great response. Thanks for sharing!

The book you mentioned -- I see two. Which one would you recommend? Both?

http://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Weeks-Stimulate-Development-Predictable/dp/9491882007

http://www.amazon.com/stimulate-development-predictable-magical-forward/dp/9079208019

Thanks!!

"Brain Rules for Babies" by John Medina may be of interest to you. I haven't read "Expecting Better," but based on the blurb it seems the two books have similar goals: providing peer-reviewed information and avoiding the propagation of myths.


At the beginning of my pregnancy, I worried I wasn't doing enough to optimize fetal development. There's so much information to be found on pregnancy and child care, I kept wondering, "Which advice should I follow? What helps and what hinders?" It was overwhelming! I'm a FTM, and I've never been around babies, so I was clueless. The pregnancy chapter in "Brain Rules" really simplified it for me: take care of yourself physically and mentally and let the fetus do it's thing. The book continues to cover relationships, brain development, emotional development, and moral development with similar clarity.


I have a few other books such as "What to Expect the First Year" but I just keep them around for reference, haven't actually read all the way through them. Other books I've considered buying are "Mind in the Making" and "NurtureShock."

My go-to resources are:

Baby Led Weaning

Loose Parts and Loose Parts 2: Inspiring Play for Infants and Toddlers

For discipline I prefer the Parenting with Love and Logic.

I'm a big believer in the Reggio Emilia philosophy of teaching and early childhood development. R.E., loose parts, and outdoor classroom theories all work really well together to create a natural, child-led, creative environment. The basic theory involved is that children are curious, competent, creative beings with a significant capacity for learning if we get out of their way. Instead of giving them plastic, light-up, noise-making toys that have one purpose or one way of playing, loose parts cultivates an environment of inviting materials that encourage creativity and discovery instead of "this is how you play with this toy" thinking. I was first introduced to Reggio Emilia and Loose Parts while working for a JCC and I was really impressed with the way it transformed the teaching environment. It's definitely harder the smaller your kids are, but it can be done and I have seen it jump start critical thinking and creativity in even the youngest kiddos.

I'm remembering this from 3 years ago, but I think i learned that the high-end manufacturers use hardwoods and the low-end tends to use pine, which scratches pretty easily. The book Baby Bargains has some great info on crib buying - definitely worth reading: http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376182905&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains

I was going to recommend "Montessori from the start, birth to age 3". That is AMAZING at sort of teaching you to sit back and observe what your infant/toddler is doing and noticing their behavior patterns. Everything kids do is for a reason. being able to pinpoint the 'root cause/reason' for an action helps IMMENSELY. it basically helps you become a proactive parent rather than a reactive one, which alleviates MANY tantrums. Also the montessori method (in summary) guides caregivers to allow kids to be self sufficient, which is what most toddlers want to do anyway!

​

That being said, the 'from the start' book largely focuses on infants with only the last couple chapters dedicated to toddlers. I haven't read this one, but i think it might be more accurate and useful for your immediate stage. From the preview it's pretty much everything we're doing at home at 22mo! - The Montessori Toddler

This was the best book my wife and I found: Happiest Baby on the Block
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410421839&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block

Also, SwaddleMe pretty much saved our lives:
http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-SwaddleMe-Adjustable-3-Pack/dp/B003JHYDIQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1410421888&sr=8-2&keywords=swaddle+me

As said in this thread, it gets better. We just got through two months and it feels like a hundred years ago we were at 3 weeks.

I recommend Oh, Crap! Potty Training. I used its methods for my almost 2 1/2 year old, and its been such a success! In fact, she just used her first public restroom yesterday. The process has taken a few weeks, and the first few days are very intensive, but it's overall been a positive experience for both of us. It was so much easier for me to go into it with a plan!
Good luck to you!

Getting them to put themselves to sleep was definitely important for us. Around 4 months old I started laying down my daughter when she was almost asleep but not quite. I'd still stand over her crib and push her pacifier back into her mouth for about 45 minutes until she was good and out. She'd sleep through fine after that. With my son he didn't even want to be rocked, it was too stimulating. One time I rocked him for an hour and he still wasn't asleep. I laid him down to go to the bathroom and by the time I came back he was asleep. Ever since then (he was about 2 months old) I rock him for a few minutes and then lay him down. At 6 months old the little one should be able to suck thumb or grab onto a pacifier a little easier and not need quite as much help.

That was the recommendation from Happiest Baby on the Block and it worked well for us.

Sounds good. FYI, I highly recommend "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Toddler-Block-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343327766&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+toddler+on+the+block

I does a great job of explaining to talk "toddlerese". There is also a DVD they made if you want to watch examples.

We just picked up Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. It seems really helpful - lots of product guides, reviews, and suggestions for first time parents. Again, we just picked it up today so take this for what it's worth, but I'm happy we did and already feel like we've gotten our money's worth.

Edit to add I've heard good things about Experimenting with Babies and Be Prepared, but I haven't looked closely at either one.

Yeah -- prices can be pretty crazy. My wife has been reading Baby Bargains (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392448/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1407371517&sr=8-1), which has been really helpful in trying to save some money but still get quality stuff.

I'm in Boston, so it is still relatively cold/snowy -- not quite the North Pole!! Best of luck with everything!

The advice I offer to all expecting dads is become the swaddle, shushing, sleeping master. Your wife and baby will be happier if you can learn how to calm and put baby to sleep. My hubby read the Happiest Baby on the Block and mastered the techniques to help soothe and comfort baby. It was amazing! If you want something a bit more academic, there's the Fourth Trimester, which discusses more of the research and less of the anecdotes in the Dr. Karp book.

Here's my 2 cents on the subject. First, I'd give up on the idea of debating. Most of the debating I see is nothing more than verbal warfare--how productive is that? Well, it probably depends on what your objectives are. Are you out to belittle people and make yourself feel better? Than verbal warfare is the way to go. Are you out to improve knowledge or discover truth? Then debating probably isn't the route to take. Whatever, I'd establish the objective upfront. I'd recommend simply asking questions and providing sources.

So what are some questions involved in the spanking subject?

1. What are the parents goals?
   
2. Do the methods applied meet the desired goals?
   
3. What is the self-ownership status of a child?
   
4. When does a child gain full agency?
   
   
5. Goals will vary by parent, but shouldn't this question be asked every time the subject comes up? Most parents will answer with goals like happy, productive, independent, socially skilled, able to think critically, whatever. I doubt many parents will say out lound that they want obedience, silence, blind acceptance of authority, shyness, inability to bond, addictive behavior, a poor relationship with their parents as adults, approach-avoidance behavior, depression, divorce, etc. The point is, the question needs to be asked, and the answer must frame the response.
   
   
6. Do the methods applied meet the desired goals? Now would be an excellent time to provide links and sources. There is a wealth of information available on the effectiveness and consequences of different parenting techniques. Read the sources, compare results to the desired goals, make your decision. No emotional and verbal warfare required.
   
   
7. What is the self-ownership status of a child? I've yet to see a complete theory or philosophy on this subject. I'd recommend saying you don't know or labeling all proposals as a "working theory" to diffuse all the negative reactions you're likely to get on this emotional subject. Personally I think parents should have a trustee relationship with their children, and that a child's request to leave a household should be honored as soon as he can make it. I have no idea how to put that in an argument but suspect it would involve knowledge of cognitive development.
   
   
8. When does a child gain full agency? Well, first you have the whole can one own oneself debate. Then you'd have to argue when that occurs, if it does. I again lean towards the trustee relationship and gradual development of agency.
   
   Here's sources for those interested in studying the issue instead of yelling at each other:
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbiq2-ukfhM
   
   http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.php
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338338284&sr=8-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Discipline-Compliance-Alfie-Kohn/dp/1416604723/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1338338349&sr=1-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_17?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=punished+by+rewards+by+alfie+kohn&sprefix=punished+by+rewar%2Cstripbooks%2C256
   
   http://www.amazon.com/No-Contest-Case-Against-Competition/dp/0395631254/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1338338440&sr=1-2
   
   http://nospank.net/
   
   http://www.rie.org/
   
   http://www.wholechild.org/vision/documents/TheEffectsOfImprovingCaregivingOnEarlyDevelopment.pdf
   
   http://www.echoparenting.org/
   
   http://www.becomingtheparent.com/all/hp.html
   
   http://drgabormate.com/
   
   http://www.committedparent.com/
   
   http://www.janetlansbury.com/
   
   http://www.regardingbaby.org/
   
   http://www.eileensclasses.com/
   
   http://www.mindfulparentingnyc.com/Mindful_Parenting/Welcome.html
   
   http://www.riemiami.com/
   
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Dear-Parent-Caring-Infants-Respect/dp/1892560062/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1338339719&sr=1-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Your-Self-Confident-Baby-Encourage-Abilities/dp/1118158792/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1338339719&sr=1-3
   
   http://www.amazon.com/The-RIE-Manual/dp/1892560003/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294253451&sr=1-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Skinned-Knee-Teachings-Self-Reliant/dp/1416593063/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1298050770&sr=8-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ruth+anne+hammond&x=0&y=0
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Parent-You-Want-Sourcebook/dp/0553067508/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294253521&sr=1-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Life-Toddler-Alicia-Lieberman/dp/0028740173/ref=pd_sim_b_2
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Theories-Attachment-Introduction-Ainsworth-Brazelton/dp/1933653388/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1298051329&sr=8-10
   
   http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000XR2CGU/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1C1SJ1BR2T4ADEN9VMJM&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Unfolding-Infants-Natural-Gross-Development/dp/1892560070/ref=pd_sim_b_1
   
   http://www.youtube.com/user/stefbot/videos?query=parenting
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyNQFG7C8JM
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjxXuDYdBzY
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1GJsCa_4G8
   

https://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553386301

It had a pretty good breastfeeding section. Everything in it is going to follow AAP guidelines, so just about a safe as possible. Most of the pregnancy books are also going to have some breastfeeding stuff too-- just choose one that is more medical (ie the Mayo Clinic one)

The best thing I did was take a breastfeeding class at the hospital, that was really helpful.

I made my husband read this.
Begin With A Blanket: Creative Play For Infants (Baby Play: Developmental Fun From Birth To Beyond One) (Volume 1) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692453091/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_YDWcAbE9ABAWR
It's short, the print is big, and it has pictures, but more importantly it explains why each kind of activity is important and what skills it helps develop. I learned a ton from it too, but for someone who really doesn't know how to play with a baby, it's a complete game changer.

I found this series of ["Show Me How"] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Dad-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/1616281111/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-1&keywords=show+dad+how)
books to be humorous and quite helpful, there's [one for mom] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Mom-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/161628112X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-3&keywords=show+dad+how) too.

Working at a book store I have had several new parents looking for the [Happiest Baby Books] (http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526423&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block) (there's one for toddler's too). The American Pediatric Association also has a [book] (http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553393820/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526506&sr=8-1&keywords=caring+for+your+baby+and+young+child+birth+to+age+5) that covers Pre-birth to 5 years. I read a chapter each month to keep me up to speed on the miles stones ahead, my son is 3 now and it was incredibly helpful.

Good luck!

I'm not sure if you have heard of Happiest Baby On the Block, by Dr. Harvey Karp, but that has helped me with my newborn and her sleep habits. You mentioned that your LO is 14 months old, so it might not work for you, but he also wrote another book called Happiest Toddler on the Block (http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Toddler-Block-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422) . I haven't read this one yet, but maybe there is advice in there that can apply to your situation.

I'm really sorry for what you are going through, and I hope it resolves itself soon. Good luck.

If you need a good developmental reference check out American Academy of Pediatrics Birth to Five. It's awesome, it's like an instruction manual for children. Also, a pediatric physical therapist told us a couple month ago they now don't worry about children not walking until after 18 months. Good luck!

That's good to know!

A friend of mine suggested the Baby Bargains Book and I'm so happy I followed her advice! It's awesome - full of up to date and incredibly in-depth product reviews, and all kinds of advice on how to save money. The version I linked is the newest. They also have a website and you can get the book/website combo access for a little more than the cost of the book. Totally worth every cent.

It actually could be very useful for people who like white noise and for helping newborn babies sleep. Though I don't have one yet (until October), I read in The Happiest Baby on the Block that vacuum sounds can help calm fussy babies because it serves as stand-in for the type of noise they are used to hearing while in the womb.

A couple of books were really helpful for my wife and I. Namely: The Wonder Weeks and The Happiest Baby on the Block. They help get into your kid's head and understand how he's growing, learning, changing. Also really helpful for encouraging and enriching his life. I still refer to the first one now and then, and Felix is a full-blown toddler.

But really? No one knows what they're doing when it comes to parenting. Books and classes and things can help, but your best teacher on how to be a dad is going to be your kid. Every child is different, and when yours arrives you will learn everything about being a parent from him or her.

Oh, and PS? You will worry about every hiccup and every cough and when your child is finally asleep you will be checking every five minutes to make sure they are still breathing. It's all part of parenthood!

Eeee, so excited for you!

• I haven't read any yet! But I have bought Heading Home With Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Both books I've seen recommended and are well reviewed, just need to buckle down and read them. It all just seems so far off still...
  
  
• I did happen to have a routine appointment scheduled a few days before my babymoon (I was 24 weeks) and they gave me the OK to travel. The only thing I did to prepare was look up where the nearest hospitals were and which one had a Labor & Delivery unit. It's scary to think about, but odds are so slim something bad will happen in the relatively brief time you are there! Now the important thing, you better share lots of pictures with us of your beautiful tropical vacay ;)

Like others have said, none of this behavior sounds out of the ordinary. My son is about the same age and has experimented with lashing out physically (especially when he's tired). When the aggressive behavior comes up, how are you and the day care staff handling discipline? Time outs (just briefly tell him why and hold him on your lap in a boring area until he calms down) have been working well for our guy. If you don't already have it, I HIGHLY suggest picking up this book from the AAP it's literally the manual for taking care of a kid from 0-5 years and is written by doctors. Good luck!

Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book for anyone/everyone.

Baby Brain Rules is one both my SO and I enjoyed, lots of science there.

We did not really read any books on the childbirth topic, just internet and a 5 week course at the hospital. I wish you luck!

I've been wanting to pick up this book for my own little. There are some very inexpensive used copies!

For your tiny turtles, I recommend the Encyclopedia Brown books. They were my absolute favorite at that age. They're really fun detective books that encourage critical thinking skills while improving reading! Check them out; they won't be disappointed!

Thanks for the recommendations. I picked up The Baby owners manual per your recommendation. I've liked Heading Home With Your Newborn so far.
It's hard to find good Dad books. It seems that every one that I've looked at tries to be someones attempt at comedy. All I want is real, straightforward advice. Although the Manual looks great!

Ginger Candy
http://www.amazon.com/Tummydrops-Ginger-individually-wrapped-drops/dp/B004BH15K2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1409768894&sr=8-2&keywords=ginger+candy

UNSCENTED Cocoa Butter
http://www.amazon.com/Palmers-Cocoa-Butter-Fragrance-Free/dp/B000056W71/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1409769047&sr=8-3&keywords=unscented+cocoa+butter

Take the stress/guesswork out of what gear is the best; a fun read
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392448/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1409769073&sr=8-1

An IOU, wrapped in a pretty little box, for a Body Pilow
http://www.amazon.com/Leachco-Snoogle-Total-Body-Pillow/dp/B0000635WI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=undefined&sr=8-1&keywords=snoogle

My wife and I looked at Mayo Clinic's Guide to healthy pregnancy. It was neat to look up what was going on on the given week. We also took a trip to Babies R' Us early on to get an appreciation of what we'll need, what we'll want, and how much everything will cost.

For after the baby comes out: The Happiest Baby on the Block and Mayo Clinic's Guide to Your Baby's First Year, also.

Library is great! It gets mom out of the house too :)

I'd also recommend this book by Rachel Coley. It has great activities for young babies.

Take a look at "Happiest Baby on the Block" http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

Basically you need to do 5 things to calm the baby. Swaddle, Hold baby on the side, White Noise, Jiggle, and Pacifier. It sounds too easy, but it works. There is a DVD that comes with a book that goes through the techniques and it has saved my sanity!

We also bought a motorized swing and a white noise machine that works great at keeping our baby asleep.

Yes, get him evaluated. Most services are free under 3 years old. Always helpful and calming knowing you've checked it out. A helpful book to build up speech at home is: My Toddler Talks

Being a young mom has nothing to do with it. We all are struggling! :)

Are you swaddling? If you are not getting a swaddle tight enough, may be time to switch to a velcro or zip-up swaddler like Woombie, SwaddleMe etc.

If you haven't already, please check out the 5 S's from The Happiest Baby On The Block

Good luck!

We went with Amazon. I think most importantly, buy and use the baby bargain book. It's updated every year , which is why I recommend buying it over borrowing it from a friend. What I particularly liked in the book is that they tell you what the must haves are and what crap you think you need that you actually don't (like baby wipe warmer and such). It also gives comprehensive reviews of items based on your budget.

This book save my sanity and probably my marriage: The Happiest Baby on the Block https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381466/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_aqOKwmV7zV3AJ

The only other tip I can recommend is have a song. I was lucky enough to stay home more than my wife with my daughter the first 6 months and every day I would rock her to sleep to Uptown Funk on low to keep a rhythm. Every time, every day, multiple times a day and she came to associate that song with love, safety and calm. It got us through her first few rounds of shots (I’d play it on my phone and dance with her after to calm down) and an 8 hour road trip when she was 4 months old. Obviously you have to find a song that doesn’t drive you nuts, but to this day, at 4 years old it’s a special song for us.

"Our Babies, Ourselves" is great! I've gotten so many good reviews of it from clients. Even if you only read the first few chapters it will give you an understanding of why and how babies act and grow as they do which in turn helps you decide how to react. It isn't going to tell you what to do, so much as whats going on and give you ideas on how you can handle it. Good luck!

I’m reading a book right now called [The Happiest Toddler on the Block] (www.amazon.com/dp/0553384422/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9dfLAbT9RXDNY). It’s helping me to better understand my son’s developmental stages and how to help him grow into an emotionally conscious person. One thing I’ve learned is the art of listening, not just telling him “no” all the time. My wife is a kindergarten teacher and highly recommends it.

I highly, highly recommend the books Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp. That man is the goddam baby whisperer and I partially credit him for helping us have a baby who was always really happy, content and secure.


Another thing is that I think your relationship with your wife is THE most important aspect of you two parenting together. Make sure you put you guys first (reasonably of course) and work as a fluid unit.

This book helped us a lot. It lets you know what is ok to get used, and what to get new. It also talks about what you need and what you don't need at all. Also goes into which brands / styles are the best value. Bring it with you when you register for baby gifts.

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392448

Congratulations!

If you’re looking for a general guidance book I like the one from the AAP. If you’re just looking for parenting related reading but not really a guide I’ve started “All Joy and No Fun” by Jennifer Senior and I like it so far. It’s more about our parenting culture though. At least from what I’ve read.

Here’s the AAP book: Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553393820/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_d9u2AbF23P3G3

We just used this book, and it was amazing. Throughly dug this lady's approach. The gist of it is, if the kid is giving cues, you're ready. Go all in. There's a whole chapter on special cases, like fear of potty and partial training.

As a whole there are multiple stages:

1. naked all day, peeing and pooping with or without prompting.
   
2. commando, peeing and pooping with or without prompting.
   
3. commando, peeing and pooping in different places/situations.
   
4. add underpants.
   
5. nighttime.
   
6. college.
   
   You're also right at the sweet spot. The older they get, the more resistance.

At this age, you just need to sit him down at set times for long enough to sing the ABCs. Get rid of the diapers and the rewards. The reward for using the potty is not being covered in poop or pee. [Oh Crap! Potty Training] (https://www.amazon.com/Oh-Crap-Potty-Training-Everything/dp/1501122983) worked really well for my 5 year old. Even now, she still needs to sat down periodically sometimes if we're doing something exciting, like going to the zoo.

The signs of postpartum disorder and postpartum psychosis. Baby CPR, how to clear throat obstructions, that vaccines are good and necessary, vitamin K is a must, how to change diapers, how to help diaper rash. How to cook, how and when to introduce solid foods, thresholds for fevers at different ages... not to give aspirin to little kids, proper Tylenol doses by weight, how examine rashes for possible meningitis/sepsis... get in the habit checking for kids in car seats all the time, especially when routine changes...

Get Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553393820/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_c-oSDbTBDHP1T

... how to properly inspect, install and maintain car seats...

All this but most importantly try to learn everything else the mom knows how to do learns how to do.

I think being a man is learning how to raise someone to the point they can take care of babies themselves and raise them right. So this list is just a start.

Baby 411: Clear Answers and smart advice for your baby's first year (https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392510). This book is straight forward and was recommended by multiple pediatricians (my wife's an obgyn resident and has multiple pediatrician friends from med school). Also second The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Something that might be helpful to you: I just got myself a new book that was highly recommended to me by other parents. It covers the growth spurts all kids fo through in their lives that can make their parent's life hell for some weeks.

So, apparently, there's a big developmental jump happening between week 23 and 27 of baby's life. With your LO turning 6 months, that would put her right there, right?

So baseline is, baby suddenly can do new stuff - see more, process more, understand more, which is vool, but she needs time to adjust to all of this new information.
Meaning: less sleep, more fuzzyness, needs lots of cuddling but is really hard to calm down. Apparently, from 27/28 weeks on, it should be better again. Maxbe knowing it will pass, soon will help?

Maybe you want to look into it. I believe this is the english version. https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/9491882007/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1464988755&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=van+de+rijt&dpPl=1&dpID=51xJRFfI3eL&ref=plSrch#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1464988877986

With my first, I really like Heading Home with Your Newborn, which was gifted to me by my pediatrician uncle. I read it cover to cover probably 15 times, and referred to it constantly. I could never remember what it was called, though, and always referred to it as "Care and Feeding of Your Baby", which was pretty accurate, it turns out lol.

"Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. http://www.amazon.ca/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466 Best book I own, best "thing for baby" I own and voted #1 way to get sleep by my hubby and I. oh and, congratulations!

I am reading through: http://www.amazon.com/Heading-Home-With-Your-Newborn/dp/1581104448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397573039&sr=8-1&keywords=from+birth+to+reality
which is pretty good with what you need to know about newborns.

I also have http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397573102&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+manual+book which is a quick and easy reference guide and should be more handy when I need to look something up.

I also have what to expect the first year, but I haven't actually looked at it yet. My DH has the Be Prepared book for dads, which he likes.

My daughter is only about a week older than your kiddo so I have no idea what I'm doing, but this sounds pretty normal to me. When my little girl is fussy, a change in position usually helps a lot. She likes to be held up in burping position (like this) and patted on the back, or have her legs bicycled.

If nothing else works we go for the 5 Ss, have you seen/read anything from the Happiest Baby on the Block? If we put her in a good, tight swaddle and then bounce/jiggle her she calms right down, even if she fights the swaddle initially.

I would like to second The Baby Owner's Manual for your boyfriend.

I recently got the Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5, which is a great reference for all sorts of "what do I do about this?" questions. It's written by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I also really like The American Academy of Pediatrics New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for some basic step-by-step suggestions for starting breastfeeding and continuing at different ages.

My only son turns 2 in a couple weeks and we haven't started potty training, so I don't speak from experience lol. But it still seems pretty early in the process if you've only gotten serious the past 3 days. Peeing in a potty is such a big change from everything they've previously experienced their entire life!

Whether you keep at it now or decide to put it off a couple more months, good luck! We plan to start after Halloween. I read the "Oh Crap" book and plan to use their method.

I'd also recommend The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance and the Caring for Your Baby and Young Child book by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Oh... and Happiest Baby on the Block. I didn't read it... we watched the video instead. Really good advice for calming newborns.

This book has been my lifesaver with registering. So incredibly helpful. As a first time mom I was clueless! The name is decieving bc it's called Baby Bargains but it's so much more than that. It breaks down the items you need and than gives you reviews and grades the different brands and will summarize in the end with what they suggest (based on user reviews) is the best "cheap" product, mid-range product and high end product. So it's not just about getting the bargain...it really helped me with picking out our crib.

Caring For Your Baby and Young Child is the best and most-used how-to manual in our house. Link. It answers questions like "how high of a fever is too high" and "is this a thing I should take my kid to the doctor over?"

This is a great book that shows you what is developmentally appropriate for little kids. If you read a book like this, then if there is an issue, like a speech delay, you will notice it earlier and be able to get help earlier. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553393820/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Oh Crap! Potty Training worked well for me, though my daughter was younger. That said, the book very explicitly addresses many of the things you brought up:

It is very adamant that you not use pull ups, since as far as the kid is concerned they are just diapers.

Do not just "wait" for the kid to come around. You gotta be active. The book has a really great plan that worked for us. About 2-3 weeks total to go from not using the potty at all to having almost no accidents. She's been solid since.

You shouldn't over prompt (every 30 min is probably too much) or put that much pressure on the kid.

No rewards.

Etc.

Honestly, I skimmed much of the book, but it's definitely worth the price and a quick read over.

I highly recommend The Happiest Baby On The Block. It will be invaluable during the first three months or so, which are some of the toughest.

Also, echoing what others have said, a lot of things will work themselves out. It's not rocket science, and it's pretty easy to learn as you go. It's the hours that are hell. :-)

HOWEVER, that being said, don't let stereotypes, movies, and other parents scare you. They will sleep through the night eventually, and you will get to the point where you can resume normal life activities such as going out to eat. It might not be as relaxed as it once was, but it will still be great.

I'd read a few parenting books just to see the spread of advice, and then do your best. How are you going to raise the child? Attachment parenting? Let them cry it out? If it is a boy, please don't circumsize http://www.nocirc.org/ . Breast feeding or formula? Organic baby food?

Some links:


So you don't go crazy listening to Barney CD's - http://kidsmusicthatrocks.blogspot.com/

Cool stuff for geeks and non geeks - http://www.parenthacks.com/

The Parent Experiment Podcast. Not your mom and dad's parenting show. Very funny with a bit of swearing. Talk about real issues (not just candy-coated ones). Different guest every week - http://www.adamcarolla.com/TPEBlog/

Haven't read this but it looks interesting - http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248233102&sr=1-4

> Would a baby that gestated for 12 months be 'on par' with a 3 month old baby? further along development?

To address that specifically, you might look into Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block. Something he discusses at length is the "fourth trimester" and how underdeveloped our infants are because of when we birth them. He specifically focuses on self-soothing mechanisms and sleep, but the research is pretty interesting and does a lot to suggest the difference those 3 months would make.

He may be getting to the upper age limit for this, but I highly recommend the happiest toddler on the block by Harvey Karp. By the way, ignoring him may be somewhat effective in the short term, but could lead to resentment and other underlying emotional issues down the road.

>Bad habits are hard to break, and I want pur daughter to be happy and healthy.

You cannot form bad habits in children at this age. For the next 18 months at least, you two are in absolute control of what she eats, and the only habit you might form is that she'll be picky and prefer sweeter foods.

You have a hang-up: you think that infant time is like other parts of life. It's not. Your baby is a healthy weight and it's almost impossible to overfeed a child at this age. You need to calm down and read a book about child health and wellness.

This book, from the American Academy of Pediatrics, is outstanding: Birth to Age 5

Read it, and calm down. Your wife isn't doing anything terrible, but you're poisoning your marriage. Read, and be cool.

PS - freaking out about nursing your child after vaccinations is ridiculous. You should definitely apologise for that.

Caring for your baby and young child: http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Young-Child-Edition/dp/0553386301

This is the AAP's official book on the topic. You can feel safe about taking it's advice. The same can not be said of several others, including perennial favorite Happiest Baby... http://aapnews.aappublications.org/content/34/6/34.full?rss=1

No matter what, do not read or follow Babywise either. Has been linked to dehydration & failure to thrive. http://aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract

11 month old haver here too! Solidarity! I really like Montessori Toddler. It's a pretty book too. But if you're pressed for time, similar advice is available here...

I couldn't find any when my wife was expecting. I looked, but everything that turned up online or even in the store was all written with the premise that the father-to-be is some beer-guzzling knuckledragger. I wound up buying this book in the end, and it's actually really helpful for almost everything you can think of.

https://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553393820

Apparently there is this one and a sequel book that look promising.

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

The stuff you're describing as thing she likes to play with are often known as "loose parts". Basically stuff that isn't toys but can be used by children in a variety of ways. Lots of kids prefer loose parts, and there is research that supports loose parts as more beneficial than traditional toys.

I would take a look for some infant/toddler loose parts (loose parts are often small - you'll need things that are bigger) and offer some of those in your classroom. There is a fantastic book that I'll link below that's all about the benefit of loose parts, specifically for infants and toddlers.

https://www.amazon.ca/Loose-Parts-Inspiring-Infants-Toddlers/dp/1605544647

After reading the few responses so far, I believe I have the moral right to tell you to not get advice on how to bring up your baby from fucking reddit.

Please?

Good God... humanity is doomed.

You want this book and this book. Good luck!

Happiest Baby On The Block literally saved my sanity. I could quiet the little man down in seconds, felt like magic. lol

I recommend this book:

Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553393820/

It was written by the American Academy Of Pediatrics. My wife and I basically use it as our parenting bible. With that book you can be assured that you have the most up-to-date advice on child-rearing topics, like solid foods.

so cute! but hang in there, have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? it was a life saver for me during those early months.

Read this book. It is great. It will really help come to terms with that.


The Conscious Parent

I've been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and it's made me feel so much more confident about dealing with a fussy/colic-y baby. The basic premise is that babies are actually supposed to stay in the womb for another few months, but need to be birthed early because of their big heads. So they're unprepared to deal with the world, and that makes some of them extra fussy. He goes over a bunch of techniques for recreating the womb experience to calm the baby down- swaddling, shushing, etc.

I also recommend signing. In addition, check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

Read the book Oh Crap!. It is a super quick read, and dispels the myth of being 'ready '.

The Happiest Baby on the Block. It worked wonders for us as well. 5 S's all the way!

We used this book and it was amazing: https://www.amazon.ca/Oh-Crap-Potty-Training-Everything/dp/1501122983/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1484518013&sr=8-2&keywords=potty+training

I highly recommend it and we were able to potty train our daughter in a few days.

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has a GREAT book that my wife and I frequently reference. Here's the Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Young-Child-Edition/dp/0553386301

There is a great baby bargain book that has information on all the important categories and ratings on them to let you know which things are worth it and which aren't. Super helpful!

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392448

My mum got me Brain Rules for Baby for Christmas, and so far I'm finding it interesting. It's less of a 'how to' sort of book and more looks at the psychology of babies and children and how they process things.

Like another commenter I also have What to Expect the First Year' and it's kind of dry, but I think it might be useful for some specific issues.

I found the first three months very hard (I am the mum) coping with little sleep and the initial hurdles with breastfeeding. But I made sure to take everything one day at a time, and stay well rested and hydrated.

I googled every little thing my baby did, but the best resource was actually this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/076115213X/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/188-6777316-8943906.

My year got significantly better as I embraced the change - for instance my baby thrived on routine where me and my husband were disorganized and quite lazy - which was probably the biggest lifestyle adjustment!

I totally agree. We have the AAP Guide (this one: http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Young-Child-Edition/dp/0553386301 ) as well as this "baby manual"

I like both because neither push an agenda, and are very straightforward.

I also love the idea.... it seems that the most recommended book is Infant Potty Training.

I have the AAP Birth to 5 book. It's been pretty helpful along with the interwebs, of course.

To answer the question you actually asked, I'd say your husband has unrealistic expectations of 2yo behavior. And of people's emotional needs more generally--if you were upset and crying, would he send you to your room alone until you stopped? At that age, kids can't control themselves, their emotions, or their behavior, so we have to help them learn how to do so: sending them off alone isn't doing that; it's showing them that having big emotions is unacceptable.

Harvey Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block was really helpful. I didn't like the bedtime/sleep section, but the rest is great. Might be a useful read for your husband, in terms of explaining toddler psychology?

(And I agree that your son is likely overtired and perhaps hungry by the time you pick him up. My toddler had frequent (daily) tantrums as soon as I picked him up from school/sitter, until I figured out that he had low blood sugar and started bringing snacks along and loading him up in the car. That helped a lot.)

A pediatrician recommended this book to us from the American Academy of Pediatrics, and I think it is an excellent resource!

This book was my saviour during those days, hope it helps you too

https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

I've read this book. So go naked or bottomless for a whole day while you watch her intently. If she has an accident, just bring her to the potty to finish, and then have her help clean up(pee is sterile). If you've had a successful day, don't go back to undies yet, go commando. Undies contains the pee, so it's not as bad when you have an accident, but they don't want pee running down their leg, it's uncomfortable. Try to do commando for a week if you can. Skirts work great for girls.

Also, while naked, look out for the pee dance. It can be subtle, but I read everyone has a pee dance or indicator.

Information was taken from this book

Have they tried reward systems, buying her new panties she picks out, reading her books about kids using the potty? There’s a book called oh crap, https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting/dp/1501122983/ref=asc_df_1501122983/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312154663427&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11165367220882139930&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011702&hvtargid=pla-426474776806&psc=1 I have several mom friends that swear by it.

I'd check out The Happiest Baby on the Block then. I read it before my wife did and for a while she thought I was a wizard when it came to putting our first down to sleep. It's not like other books that suggest some new fad for parenting styles, it just has some ideas for how to comfort a baby in the first 3 months that might not have occurred to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying/dp/B0006J021C/ref=pd_sim_b_1

> There is definitely something off with the numbers with that much discrepancy

A lot of the world uses variations on the elimination communication method, too, though -- and no (or far fewer) disposable diapers, with their stay-dry feel (so the kid never learns to associate "Hey, I peed" with "yuck, I feel wet", etc).

This book has some interesting info on other cultures' potty-training methods, and also discusses how it can be adapted for modern/American/first-world life, too.

We started getting my kid used to the idea of what potties are for at, like, eight weeks old, when we were consistently getting 100% poops in the potty and a lot of pee, too. :P He's now just shy of 2.5 and has JUST finally completely graduated potty training (haven't changed a diaper since May, and no accidents of any sort since mid-June!). We also took things super slowly; I think we could've gone faster, but I was lazy. So, meh. Happy enough with it as it is.

I love this book

The best guide to developmental milestones is the AAP book:

http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Young-Child-Edition/dp/0553386301/

Love this book for ideas
https://www.amazon.com/Montessori-Toddler-Parents-Raising-Responsible/dp/152350689X

This is a great book about this topic. "Our Babies, Ourselves".

We liked The Happiest Toddler on the Block series.

https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422

I picked up Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 - great all around reference from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I'm with you dude. Eventually we found this book from the American Academy of Pediatrics which is back ally a baby owners manual: Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553393820/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_mov1xb0E4C6ZP

Helped us a ton. I don't have it handy but 90% sure there is a section on bathing

this book made me excited to have a fussy baby! "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp, MD

Pick up Happiest Baby on the Block (but not the sequel, which got weird). There are lots of different techniques to try and at least one should work for you. I had the most success with tight swaddling and the head/knee jiggle.

My wife and I like Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina


It's him explaining what certain studies have shown regarding different aspects of childhood, such as the effect television has on kids under the age of 2. That something you're looking for?

Check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

(You can preview it on Amazon)[http://www.amazon.com/dp/0553384422]

It's been a huge help with our 18 month old and tantrums.

We only use Healthychildren.org and Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5 and that has been plenty for us. I consider the AAP a good source and it is what our pediatrician recommends.

I cannot recommend this enough. I used it when my nephew, interesting family situation, was a newborn and have bought it for two friends. They were skeptical at first but soon began recommending it to all new parents they knew as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Newborn/dp/0553381466

If he's having trouble realizing that underwear is not diapers, have him go commando. That's actually a very important step in this popular potty training guide, which can easily last a month or more.

If you can figure out why exactly your baby is crying, that can be a big help. My girlfriend and I could not for the life of us figure out what was making our daughter so upset. At first we thought nighttime was just her "fussy time", which it is for a lot of newborns. Then we read some more and realized that she had a lot of the symptoms of reflux. We adjusted some of our habits (rubbing her back instead of patting to burp her, keeping her upright during and after nursing, feeding her more slowly) and the difference was night-and-day.

For anyone with a baby that has a difficult time falling or staying asleep, I would highly recommend picking up Tracy Hogg's The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. She goes over a lot of the bad habits parents pick up when trying to calm their newborns, and gives ideas on how to fix them.

We've also found Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block to be very helpful. The "5 S's" method (swaddling, side/stomach positioning in the parents' arms, shushing, swinging, and sucking) worked well for our daughter.

Basically what all of the advice in the books boils down to is to read your baby's cues and fix the root of the problem, rather than attempt to patch it with short-term fixes. Sometimes you might think that you're helping, when really you're just developing bad parenting habits and reinforcing certain behaviors in your child. I was really surprised when reading those books how many bad habits we had picked up in just a few short weeks.

Read The Happiest Baby on the Block for the newborn phase. I haven't had a chance to put it into practice yet (got another 4 months to go!) but I have friends who swear by it. Plus, it seems to make crap ton of sense, science-wise.

If it were me, I'd stop using time out unless she's breaking a rule. If whining is against the rules in your house that's one thing, but putting her in time out because she's upset about something seems counterproductive.

Happiest Toddler on the Block is a book. I liked it. It didn't revolutionize anything here at the Snow household but it did give me a better way to empathize with what Toddler_Snow was going through.

My co-workers gave me this book. I will be getting a copy for my MIL as a lot of things kids wise has changed since her other grandchildren were babies.

While not geared specifically for Dads, I thought Happiest Baby on the Block was the most insightful and helpful.

I'm also signed up for BabyCenter.com emails. You put in the due date and it emails you weekly with updates on how your baby is developing in the womb. You still get emails after the due date explaining new developments.

"What to expect the first year"

http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-Workman-Publishing/dp/076115213X

Pretty much a basic baby manual that tells you everything you need to know.

You probably need to get it official that you have 100% custody. This will take a lawyer. It sounds like the mother is very unstable and will need to have zero contact, at least for now.

I liked this book:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Everything-About/dp/1491518235

Edit: Also http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0CS7A9MYGEXRD9AJ9SFT

Don't get too caught up in Sears books though. I don't have nearly as much money as they do, so I will not be able to do all the things they suggest. I still know a lot more now than I did before.

Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

Yes, it is probably the most widely recommended book on potty training.

Not diapering advice, but potty training method advice. We're finding the method in this book to be effective, and you completely stop using diapers (except for naps and night time, possibly) with this plan.

Suggesting this book: Oh Crap! Potty Training

Mine wouldn't go on the potty either, he would just sit. I think it feels weird to them before they start to PT to not go in a diaper. They are used to the way it feels.

We PT'd our son around 2.5 and he did really well with it. We left him naked from the waist down for the first two days. We had to adjust the pants off/commando routine in the book because he's in daycare, but we were surprised that it clicked so well. I know some people do not have any luck with that book, but for under $10 we gave it a shot.

Happiest Baby on the Block

Every parent should get "Caring for Your Baby and Child: Birth to Age 5" by the American Association of Pediatrics. It's our go-to whenever something new or unexpected comes up.

I had this book from the pediatrician and it was invaluable.

It's not geared towards fathers, per se, but is much more towards parents rather than just the mother.

I was suggested and have purchased Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5

The books that helped me the most are these 2.

What to Expect When You're Expecting

What to Expect the First Year

Go buy yourself one of these. You need it. Here

This one?

https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting/dp/1501122983

My daughter is 20 months too. I'm reading the Oh Crap potty training book and we've bought a potty, a toilet seat and a stepstool.

This method basically involves going diaper-less over a long weekend. If we haven't done it around her birthday in October, I think we'll look at the Christmas holidays as go time!

This...

We stayed home the entire weekend, started Saturday and we got the peeing part done in 1 day, but still working on the poop. I kinda wished we had the third day but we both had to go back to work on Monday....

Try this book it outlines infant potty training/elimination communication and you can probably get it from your local library.

The Baby Bargains book was a God-send!

Expecting 411 & Baby 411 are my faves!

And then Baby Bargains for when you start buying and registering for all your baby stuff!

I think it's this one:

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392510/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

Get this, great resource for your first few months with the baby - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1889392510/ref=mp_s_a_1_1/189-4738741-7371737?qid=1453954035&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=baby+411

I can't recommend this book enough. Worked WONDERS for us, you should check it out. http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

It's early, but some kids can do it at that age. I recommend the book Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki.

Your feelings are completely normal. Infant stage is hard, even without a colicky baby! Have you read Happiest baby on the block? It helped us so much.

Father of five here. Can confirm, OP is not wrong.

That said, a couple of thoughts.

• As I've previously said, there's a pile of shit people tell you you need, but you don't. Read this.
  
  
• I've seen a lot of posts about when the right time to announce is, and the standard advice is not until after the first trimester. That said, miscarriages are more often than not the result of an nonviable fetus. I don't have a reference for this, its what I was told by our OB/GYN
  
  
• Don't try to sleep-train your baby until they're at least 9 months old -- it will only break your heart and piss your kid off. Read The Happiest Baby on the Block
  
  
• Nurse your baby for at least six months. The benefits of nursing are well documented and more to the point, will allow you all to sleep together while baby is nursing. That said, as soon as that kid is weened, kick it out of your bed. I do not condone the notion of the "family bed". That shit is just creepy. If Mom is returning to work, buy a quality breast pump.
  
  
• If your wife is breast-feeding, DO NOT GROPE THEM!!! NOT UNTIL THEY SAY ITS OKAY. AND NO, YOU CAN'T ASK. Now, that said, that was my experience. Your lady might think not groping them means you think she's gross or something, so be mindful of it. If you get your ass handed to you the first time you grope her, lesson learned.
  
  
• Sex with new mom is not to be tried for WEEKS after baby arrives, ESPECIALLY if she had an eppesiotomy. Seriously, even a pencil-dick could tear those stitches.