Reddit mentions: The best anxiety & phobia books

I feel you. This happened to me so many times, but with each relationship I was able to recover a little bit more of myself and establish more of my own boundaries. The fact that you have realized it is getting you much closer to those relationships that you want to have! Nice work.

This is what I would recommend; TLDR, it is very important to take care of your self and your esteem. After this, all will follow. I wrote a gigantic post because what you've described above is pretty much what I've been battling against most of my life.

Self-care

1. Do you like yourself? What do you like about yourself? Try celebrating this every day, or whenever you can. Doesn't have to be every day.
   
2. Make a bucket list. What are the things you want to do by the time you die? This could literally be anything; my bucket list includes items like "master a particular skill" and "have an orgy". Doesn't have to be "serious", it's just what you want to do with you life.
   
3. Spend time dressing yourself up. Find clothes that make you feel good, make you feel attractive. Pay attention to your body. If you haven't updated your wardrobe or your hair in a while, try and do those things. Find some kind of exercise that you enjoy, and try and stick with it: it will make a change in your body before long! If you have problems with nutrition, do some reading and figure out where you should make dietary changes.
   
4. Try to revisit your hobbies, or any kind of thing that makes you feel happy; relaxing, sitting on a park bench on a nice day, etc. etc. Doesn't matter if it is "time wasting", just that it makes you feel good. Do anything that gets you back into your body: take a nice shower or bath, breathe deep, take a walk.
   
5. Think about whether, in addition to co-dependency, you may also be battling either anxiety or depression (if you were raised by a narcissist, chances are high). Do some reading, I recommend these two books: http://amzn.to/1pipLrF ESPECIALLY, also http://amzn.to/1zfgOnb Both books teach you about self-care, managing your boundaries and emotions, and breaking out of familiar patterns. I found the co-dependency book relevant even though I'm not a person who is actively trying to control other people; I still had the other behaviors, like taking care of people too much.
   
6. Read Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child (available free here: http://bit.ly/1gJPQPk). This book is about how kids raised by narcissists generally have a lot of trouble seeing themselves and seeing their own needs. They construct a false self for their parents, and then learn that the false self -- nice, accomplished, supportive, always there, without expressive impulses (including "negative" emotions like anger or boredom) -- is more valued than their True Self -- i.e. who they are, as a human being, with their complete range of emotions, impulses, and desires for expression.
   
7. Learn about how to communicate assertively.
   
8. Learn to not apologize for existing, for taking up space, having needs. There's nothing to apologize for you, because you are, you are a human with Maslow's hierarchy like all the other humans!
   
9. Do things for yourself every day, just because you want to do them.
   
10. Make sure you're getting adequate sleep, food, exercise, sunlight.
    
    
    Now, as for setting boundaries:
    
    1.) Hang out with the friends that you like (or mostly like). Think about why you like them.
    
    2.) Think about moments where your friends do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Don't dismiss your feelings, explore them. Examples:
    
    

• Friend seems like she only wants to hang out whenever she decides.
  
• Feeling third wheeled by two or more friends.
  
• Always letting others decide activities because you don't think they will value yours.
  
• Friend does something which makes you angry, or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable (like hitting on you, or maybe making an off color joke, or condoning something you don't like)
  
• Feelings of tagging along, or side kicking, or taking care of other people
  
• Feeling like you have to be the "loyal" one
  
• Being made to feel guilty, or pressured into an activity; being made to feel like your time is less important
  
  3.) Think about why these moments (or others) make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe make a list of past moments. Think about what you would do if you were being assertive -- not aggressive, but accurately and forwardly communicating your feelings.
  
  
• Suggest activities to your friend who wants to control the situation/only wants to hang out when she decides; if she declines, or continues to act uninterested, be up front on how her behavior makes you feel.
  
• If feeling third wheeled, hang out with different friends. There are other people around, and it is definitely hard to expand social structures, but it's possible!!
  
• Make a list of activities that you prefer, and then propose them. If your friends aren't interested, find a meetup for people that are interested in those kinds of things, and then do them! You will find one or two people that you like.
  
• Tagging along, or side kicking: remember that you are valuable. Take value in yourself. Don't hang around with people who may see you as less; meet new people and then set boundaries with them. I.e. if they are late to things and you don't like lateness, let them know that you are a little upset. If they treat your personal possessions with disrespect, let them know it. If they make assumptions about you that are wrong, or say things to put you down, let them know it and that you do not like it. Doing this helps set healthy boundaries with people for the future, and sets up respect. When people need your compassion later, for the REAL issues, you can be there to take care of them. But in the meantime, no need to be their butler or the ever sympathetic person. And if they try to make you feel bad about asserting yourself or having these feelings, rest easy, laugh at their behavior, and find other friends.
  
• Friends who do or say things that make you angry or uncomfortable: confront them about it assertively, as soon as it happens. Don't be nervous about it: if you are concerned that this person will threaten physical violence, then I wouldn't be friends with them anymore. Don't worry that they will leave you: if they leave you, oh well! You still have Team yellowpencils. Team yellowpencils is who you have now and it's who you will have until you die, and it's the most important team in the world. Learn to love your team and always be on your own side. (For the nitpickers, this doesn't mean turn out to be a sociopath or never know when to own responsibility for one's actions and mistakes; just that you must, at the end of the day, love and care for yourself).
  
• Feeling that you have to be the "loyal" one: forget this feeling. If someone is manipulating you and putting you down, while still asking for your sacrifices, tell them how they make you feel and then, most likely, leave. People like this assume you're easy to victimize, or will never confront them. You have more power than you know.
  
• Feeling pressured, being made to feel guilty: no one has a right to your time above and beyond you. You don't owe anyone an explanation for wanting to spend time by yourself or to do activities with other people. If someone wants you to do something which is against your personal code of ethics, remember that the social costs of doing so are most likely outweighed by the personal benefits of staying true to Team yellowpencils.
  4.) Consider ending friendships with people whom you really like (for their personality, for instance) but who obviously do not value your time or do not respect you as a person.
  
  
  Making NEW friends:
  
  1.) My personal strategy is, follow the energy. If I am getting positive vibes from people; if I am enjoying their company without feeling compromised; if there is a give and take in the relationship from BOTH sides; I continue it. If there is not, I drop it quietly before I'm in the friendship/relationship too much.
  2.) If you are noticing old patterns show up in new friends:
  
  
• try and recognize old patterns, first off.
  
• Try to figure out where the other person is bending or crossing boundaries. Think about what kind of person you're being routinely attracted to: do they look like your narcissistic parent? Remember that in order to get new friends, you do NOT have to offer a "perfect" friendship where you are never mad and always attending to their needs.
  
• Start calling out these new friends on their bullshit earlier: you just may turn the relationship around.
  
• Move on: If you feel like this person may just be too similar to past narcissistic friendships, or they are crossing too many boundaries, even though you have tried to talk to them about it.
  
• Try and act like how you want to be treated from day one. This doesn't mean, waiting to call someone out on their bullshit until you know what to expect from them: this means doing it immediately. Your survival skills that you learned from your narcissistic parent, like controlling your feelings now, observing, waiting, hiding, confronting when things are "safe" (let's be honest, they were never safe) are no longer necessary, because you are in a new phase of your life where survival no longer has to be the top priority: your happiness is.
  
  3.) Accept good will. Wherever someone wants to support you, or help you, and you're getting the good energy vibes: be not afraid, explore this a bit. Learn to extend your trust to someone who wants to help. People get quite a bit from helping others out. Let someone help you for a change.
  4.) Act in a friendship how you want to act, not how you think others will like. You'll meet people who like what you are, that you never expected! Accept that not everyone will like who you are or will like your choices.
  5.) Sometimes you're still gonna get burned.
  
  Since I've made the above changes, I've been happier and have seen a definite increase in the quality of my relationships and the quality of the people I meet and hang out with. I have a better sense of my own boundaries and sense of self. That isn't to say I've totally battled away anxiety or depression, or falling for narcissistic relationships: just have to keep my focus and keep working on my self-care. The more I practice this stuff, the more it becomes instinctual; this will be true for you too.
  
  Hope this helps!

I wish I could give you a hug and just sit with you. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You sound like an incredibly compassionate, loving person who cares deeply about the people around you, and I would love to be your friend. You keep calling yourself "lazy" - please don't have a double standard for yourself and other people. ❤️ Imagine you had a friend with schizophrenia. Would you call him "lazy" for having hallucinations? What if you had a friend with a reading disability - would you call her "lazy" for making mistakes? It's the same for you. You're not lazy for having a fucked-up brain. In fact, I'm amazed at all the work you've done to become healthy.

I'm sorry you've had so much trouble finding treatment for your OCD, panic attacks, and possible ADHD. I know it can be really frustrating finding a therapist/counselor/etc that's actually helpful and understands your mental illness, maybe especially in your country, but I want to encourage you not to give up. I went to a psychologist, too, and she was terrible... I only had three sessions with her before I quit. I had better luck with a counseling student who had me as his very first client! Finally I found a licensed counselor who's perfect, and I look forward to our sessions every week.

Suggestions:

• Try to search/ask around to find a counselor who has experience with OCD, or someone who does the ERP therapy you mentioned.
  
  
• Search "Skype therapy for OCD" online - that way you can work with someone who's not even in your country.
  
  
• Buy an OCD self-help book off Amazon in the meantime. This one has good reviews. I also like this memoir.
  
  
• I understand why you're afraid of meds - your experience sounds horrible. Maybe take a break for a while, and when you're feeling better, try a different one. It can really change your life for the better.
  
  
  
  
  OPTIONAL theological section:
  
  I've spent a lot of time living in fear of hell, too. I've had panic attacks, fear of the dark, insomnia, and severe depression over the people I love who aren't Christian. Here's how I argued myself out of that mental torment and Christianity at the same time.
  
  
• Do you believe compassion and justice are morally good? (Biblically, yes.)
  
  
• Do you believe God is morally perfect? (Logically and biblically, he must be, which means he's both compassionate and just.)
  
  
• Do you believe physical, mental, and emotional torment for eternity (not ten years, or a hundred, or a thousand, million, billion, trillion, or a googolplex (10^10^100) of years, but eternity) is compassionate OR just? (Of course not!)
  
  Therefore, a morally perfect God wouldn't create such a place unless:
  
  
• Compassion and/or justice are not part of moral perfection (in which case the Bible is wrong)
  
  
• "His ways are higher than our ways" (in which case he can do whatever he wants and Christians are just as fucked as atheists, so might as well be an atheist and not waste this tiny short life you have).
  
  Either way: take a deep breath, it's okay, your friends aren't in any more danger than you are. If God would send them to hell, you don't want a relationship with him anyway. Might as well be gay, secular, and at peace rather than wasting this tiny short life trying to follow a capricious or imaginary God.
  
  
  
  
  I really truly hope you get through this awful time. Things really do get better... and then worse... and then better again - these feelings won't last forever. Lots of love from the US!

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I don't know if it helps or hurts to hear this, but ny intention in saying is is to give you hope: "It will very likely get better."

I remember being your age and sitting in the instrument room of the band room because it was black and dark and no one could see me. I had only one friend, and had been through some very serious traumas. I remember my teen years as the hardest, most self-destructive years of my life. Somehow, when I became old enough to start determining my own course in life instead of doing what I was forced to do each day with people with whom I had nothing in common, things improved. And not just a little, a lot.

Your parents are thrilled you are their son. I have six children now and I have helped five of them through adolescence. It can be a very stormy time. If I knew my son or daughter felt as you did, I wouldn't hate them....I'd have compassion and move heaven and earth to help you.

Regading sex and nudity: one of my daughters felt as you did, so she determined she was not ready and did not engage in those activities. Now as an adult, she is about to get married and is very excited. It has taken her almost 30 years to get comfortable with herself. It's ok not to feel ready for that stuff. I don't think you are! So instead if scaring yourself about it, just table it for now. I wasn't ready then, either, and many are not.

I hope you wil consider that maybe you might be really hard on yourself, and talking to yourself very negatively. Maybe, instead, imagine that your inner voice is that of a best friend in emotional pain. How would you encourage that best friend? And then only allow yourself to self-dialog in a way that is positive and encouraging. Your current cycle of depression and anxiety might actually be the cause your getting worse again. How about becoming your own best friend, instead of your own accuser? Someone needs to be kind to you, and it is you.

You have great worth and merit because you are a beloved person. Don't let this time of awkwardness cause you such misery. It does pass. It can pass. You can overcome this.

Have you heard about the book, the anxiety and phobia workbook?

"https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485114500&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook,

It is only $13 at Amazon. I hope you might be able to get it and see if the methods detailed there might help. I got these for two of my kids who struggled with similar things. Not to the same degree, (but pretty severe anyway), and both seem to have developed coping mechanisms that are much more positive, and have found healthy relationships and jobs. It came a little slower to them, but they did get there. You can too.

If you want a friend somewhere, please feel free to write to me. I don't mean to trivialize your feelings in an yway. I've been through terrible trauma and I understand how much it hurts if you feel or think people just don't understand. I only want to give you hope that it will very likely get better. I do think it will probably take some adjustments on your part. But I know you can do it. People post all the time about how they have overcome these type of challenges. You can be one of them.

Finally, a thread where I can contribute! Let me take my gloves off. And first of all, excuse my English as I'm self-taught (but getting better!)

First off, you are not alone. I was first diagnosed with OCD in early 2018, and later other professionals dismissed that diagnosis. So, according to many, I don't have OCD, but I have traits of it. My first advice would be to seek treatment, which you already have, so my first actual advice is to go to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy center and have some tests run on you. You say you have a weird form of anxiety/OCD. Well, maybe you don't have OCD at all. I don't want to give you false hopes, as you did not detail what is "weird" about it, but I've had several professionals tell me that there is not such a thing as "a little OCD". You either have it or not. With that out of the way, and with the best wishes, here's your arsenal, which will help you whether you do have OCD or you have traits of it that interfere with your life, like I do.

​

First, I wouldn't be answering your actual question and wouldn't be on this subreddit if I didn't recommend "The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/). This is really, really good. Then there's "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929/) which I have not read but heard great things about, and, in the same venue, there's "The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-Anxiety-8-Week-Solution/dp/1641520299/) which is not just for OCD but for anxiety in general.

EDIT: I have not ignored your comment saying that mindfulness has not been effective for you, but I would stay with it. Maybe you can supplement it with loving-kindness meditation which also has been great for me, but mindfulness is mainly what I do. But yes, it is hard, and OCD or OCD-like traits are sometimes going to suck no matter what you do. You just have to learn to live with them, or despite them!

​

Now, with meditation out of the way, I HAVE to recommend these books, because they have been great to me. The best of them all has been this one: "The OCD Workbook" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/). It's so helpful. Contact me if you can't get it. You are not going to be sorry, I promise.

The second best is "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" (https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/). I can't recommend this one enough. Once again, contact me if you can't get it.

There is also a new one which I have not read but have bought (again, contact me if you can't get it) that is called "OCD: A Workbook for Clinicians" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Clinicians-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1559570504/). I have it in my to-read list but have heard only GREAT things about it, and it's a very short book.

​

Now comes the memoir section. This is for when you don't want to feel alone (you're not). There's "Is Fred In The Refrigerator?" (https://www.amazon.com/Fred-Refrigerator-Taming-Reclaiming-Life/dp/1732177007/) Which I absolutely love. It's very motivational, at least to me. There is also "Pure OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/PURE-OCD-Invisible-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1634919912/ maybe you referred to this as your "weird form of OCD"?) which is great but I had to put down because the girl started to talk about suicidal thoughts and it made me feel bad because it reminded me of my own struggle, and figured that for the time being, until I'm in a better place, I needed to stop. And then there's also this one which is pretty "funny" (without trying to be rude) that is called "Because We Are Bad" (https://www.amazon.com/Because-We-Are-Bad-Thought/dp/0062696165/) in which the author has a form of OCD that I have not heard of anybody else having.

​

And if you need to talk, feel free to message me. I love talking to other people who have to face mental health issues, because it makes me feel that I'm not alone, and it makes me feel that I'm contributing a little. Maybe we can even do some Skype sessions and endure the struggle together.

​

Stay strong over and over again (heh)

I'm doing phenomenally better than I've ever been in the years between 18 and 26, yes.

For getting over the "silliness" of meditation: understanding the scientific research behind it can help arm you with knowledge to fight against the negative inner critic. Here's a few useful articles to get you started: One Two Three

If you're worried about looking silly, than make time when you can be alone. If you're living at home with your parents and don't feel comfortable going "hey, don't knock on my door for a while because I'll be meditating" then try going for a walk, to a park, or someplace else where you can sit comfortably alone for 5 to 20 minutes without being bothered. You don't have to do the traditional meditation poses, simply sitting upright with your hands folded in your lap is fine. You can also do it when laying down before bed, but I suggest making that an EXTRA meditation session, not your main one, since generally (at least for me) it usually makes me fall asleep pretty fast.

I really do absolutely suggest you give the Everybody Has a Brain channel a watch, both for the fantastic guidance Mark offers as well as the general "I'm not alone in this feeling" thing that happens that's a real relief when you hear people talking about things that you've been keeping bottled up inside for years.

As for talking: listen, I know it's extremely difficult. And certainly not everyone you know or are friends with is someone you feel you can trust. BUT. OCD is an insidious disease that does everything it can to keep you from talking about it, because the easiest way for it to stay so large and scary is for it to build up in your brain and never be spoken of. It's seriously like Voldemort that way. You've got to say its name, and tell people what its doing. When you do, it starts to lose power. It is definitely one of THE HARDEST STEPS that you will have to take on the road to recovery. But it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. That's why I said that if you don't want to talk to others at first then at least start talking to yourself OUTLOUD about it. Because putting real words to it outside of yourself is an essential part of stripping your fears of their power over you.

I'd also highly suggest you find a talk therapist. If your financial situation is prohibitive, then find a local school and ask them if they have a program for their grad students to earn hours in. That's actually where I go-- my local area has a counseling center where grad students (overseen by licensed professionals) do talk therapy sessions on a sliding scale basis dependent on income. My income is extremely low so I only pay $10 per 1 hour session, and I completely credit my counselor with helping save my life.

You can also start yourself off while looking for a talk therapist. Pick up The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. It's just an all around excellent book. Doesn't replace therapy or your own hard work but it can be a nice guide when you're alone and are still looking for help.

Lastly: about being "pitied" or people thinking you're "crazy". That was 100% my fear for 8 years. It's what drove me to bury my feelings and hide my anxieties from sight even while it was literally eating me alive from the inside. I thought that as long as I looked alright on the surface I wasn't really "crazy".

The most freeing thing I learned from finally being unable to hide my disease is that being honest about it, owning it, and controlling the conversation about it and about your experiences is one of the best ways to take at least half your burden off yourself. Like I said earlier, its terrifying. And at first I could only tell my close family and my therapist. It's like coming out as LGBT (which I've had to do too). You spend so much time fearing what other people will think that it becomes This Thing, but once you get over the first couple hurdles and deal with the reactions as they come, it becomes easier, and eventually you never ever want to go back to a place where you deny that part of you.

OCD is a part of you. It will always be a part of you, even when you're 100% in the recovery zone you will still have OCD because it's a chronic life-long disease, just like any other chronic disease. But that's not something you have to despair about. Don't get me wrong, there will definitely be people who react negatively. When you find them, cut them out of your life. You don't have to shun them, but you don't ever have to give someone who can't respect you full access to you once they've proven untrustworthy. It's hard, but oh so worth it. Surround yourself with people who love you and respect you and move those who don't down a few tiers in friendship, and you'll realize just how much the people that love you are truly there to support you through your hard times.

At this point in my life, if for some reason it ever comes up, I will tell literal strangers about my OCD. Three years ago I couldn't even imagine that without a panic attack. Now I can't imagine not being upfront about it. Especially considering the amount of harm that misinformation does to people who struggle with OCD, and how that misinformation makes non-OCD people view those who have it. Talking about it is the only way we can combat that. I know you're absolutely nowhere near that kind of thing right now, and maybe you never will be, and that's ok. But it's just something to consider.

Hope that helps.

The problem when you quit something that was a habit or that was a large part of how you defined yourself, is coming up with something to replace it. The only way to do this is by trying everything and anything, this is the only way to know if you like something or not. No offence to gamers, but it won't bring you long term happiness. Socialising, interacting with people, volunteering, real life experiences, those give you long term happiness. Sharing your life with people, being accepted, and accepting others brings you happiness. The problem online and in video games is the inability to perceive the other people as real people, and will continue to mark the way in which the community interacts with each other.

Many people who have an addictive personality will switch between gaming, the internet, porn, and substance abuse to feed their addiction. When one becomes boring, it's easier to switch to something else you're addicted to instead of examining your addiction or looking at why you are addicted.

Many people who have addictive personalities do so as a means of escapism, so that they don't have to deal with the real life problems or examine what it is about their lives that is leaving them wanting more. The problem with addiction is that it never really fills the void, it's a temporary fix that will always leave you wanting more or looking elsewhere to fill it.


http://zenhabits.net/the-ultimate-guide-to-motivation-how-to-achieve-any-goal/

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/06/13/25-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself/

And here is a self help book that will help motivate yourself, and look at your life from a different angle, as well as give you some tools to break free of the cycle you are in.

The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness

Here is one for anxiety The Mindful Way through Anxiety

The guided meditation serves to help you focus. It helps you learn self control, discipline. It also helps you learn to be able to stop your internal dialogue at will, so when you start getting into your habitual routine of negative self talk, or rewarding yourself with your addiction, you are equipped better to deal with it. Perception, addiction, it shows the power of the mind. If you can train your mind, you can overcome nearly anything.

Feeling bad and feeling good take the same amount of effort, what matters is what you emphasize. As we grow throughout our lives we tell ourselves we are a certain way, and reinforce this by habitual thinking and acts. Other people develop an idea of who they think we are, and they too will reinforce these ideas on you. It is important to remember that in the same way we developed ideas on the world and who we are, bit by bit, day by day, it is possible in the same way to change these ideas. They aren't static, you are constantly growing and changing. Change is hard, because it's new. Habits are comfortable because we know how they work, we know the outcomes. We need to constantly push ourself out of our boundaries if we ever truly want to discover who we are.

You are an addict. You basically rewire your brain to go back to the same experience over and over again, because you know you will get the same results. The more you train your brain through a repetitive action, the easier it is for you to use it. You have to learn to be able to stop yourself, it isn't easy. Day by day, with enough practice like riding a bike, you can learn to do it. Commit yourself to quitting, as much as you commit yourself to being rewarded with reddit. If it took you 5 years to get to this point, it isn't going to happen in 15 days, a month, or maybe even a year. I'm not sure about you, but some people have replaced reality for a website, and that isn't healthy.

You can do it, if you believe in yourself as much as your parents, people who love you, or even I do, you will be able to overcome your addiction. It may be helpful for you to see someone who specializes in internet addiction, or treatment centers that are expensive like www.netaddictionrecovery.com

May you follow on paths with strength

Edit: Forgot a word. Most of this is applicable to any addict. You are are in a constant battle with yourself. You either use your mind to rise above it, or it will control your mind.

I can really relate to a lot of what you've written here. Know that you are not alone. Congrats on taking the (huge) first step in deciding to get help. The good news is that you can totally change your life and make it how you want it to be!

Some things you can get started on:

• Find a therapist/psychologist/counselor that specializes in treating OCD with a specific kind of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) that is called ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). Not just any therapist will do. You need to find someone who has experience with treating this disorder. It can sometimes be a bit challenging to find someone in your area who specifically treats OCD. Check your list of available providers who are in contract with your insurance (if you have insurance), and then call everyone on the list and ask if they treat OCD and if they do ERP therapy. You can also look up ERP therapists in your area on the OC Foundation's website. I've gone to ERP therapists in the past who did not take any insurance, and I paid out of pocket. It was pretty pricey but it really helped me. Now I go to a therapist who takes my insurance, isn't as experienced with ERP therapy, but I know enough about what I need to do that I use her as someone to hold me accountable.
  
  
• You can try medication to assist you in therapy if you like. You can either find a psychiatrist or go to your general practitioner to talk about your options. They'll likely prescribe you an SSRI (like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc). This type of drug increases the amount of serotonin available in your brain, which can dramatically decrease your anxiety, OCD symptoms, and depression. A high dose is generally prescribed for OCD, higher than what would be prescribed for depression. This medication can be very effective when combined with cognitive behavioral therapy. Think of it as a tool to help you get where you want to go, not as a band-aid.
  
  
• Read as many books as you can about OCD, anxiety, and mindfulness. I have found that the more I learn about how OCD works the better equipped I am to change it. You can absolutely train your brain to work how you want it to. There are many great resources out there, here are some that I really like: The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD, Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom, and Overcoming Compulsive Washing: Free Your Mind From OCD. You might be able to get these at the library if you're short on cash.
  
  
• Check out Mark Freeman's videos! He is amazing and has lots of great techniques for recovering from OCD.
  
  
• Focus on your overall health and well-being. When our bodies are tired, run down, and we aren't feeling good, anxiety and OCD tend to take over. Focus on getting enough sleep, exercise, eating healthy nutrient-dense foods, and limiting caffeine and alcohol.
  
  Good luck! Just taking that first step and getting into therapy is huge. You will find each small step you take very motivating. It's certainly not easy, but it's definitely worth it to get your life back. Don't get discouraged if you have setbacks or things get difficult. Take it one thing at a time, break it down into small pieces and you will do it!

If I am not getting your point, I am sorry. Your description of your concerns is a bit vague to me, and I am trying to answer.

>This means cutting down on the travel, random hobbies, sleeping in and other things that have characterized my twenties.

I think that this is a wise observation. To me, spending a large amount of resource to figure out who you are is one of characteristic of twenties, a part of a phase, not your life is all about. This phase could be much more fun compared to the following phase of actually making efforts to become who you are. And, some people treat the transition from twenties to thirties like the end of their lives, but I do not think that way.

>reassurance

Nobody can assure you about your future and you indeed do not need to be assured. Most likely, your problem is not the future but your anxiety about it. And, having anxiety is very common and there are treatments! Dare could be a good book for you. Although the book may not appealing to you until you obtain internal locus of control, I mention anyway. It took me a very long time to work on my external locus of control.

>I won't be super successful in my twenties

Why? Stop thinking about the past and the future and setting your expectations. That is a step to depression. Your life is a problem nobody faced. It is impossible to calculate expected values when you do not have a defined problem and complete table of outcomes.

> Robert Greene's Mastery

I have not read this book, but if you like the subjects of expertise and deliberate trainings, I recommend these books (Copied from my another thread):

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

The book is about the subject of deliberate training and explains how spending a long time on specific kinds of training develops your skills. Not a research paper, and the tone of book is casual. Many pages are about the author and people around her, and those explained the motivation of studies about the subject and added real life examples to apply those studies, for example, to parenting. In general, the book is hopeful to motivate you to start training towards your goal.

Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise

Another book is about the subject of deliberate training. I recommend you to read this book after Grit. This book is more like a research paper. The tone of this book is drier than Grit but the book contains the details of the studies and advises you how, when and how much you should practice.


>having a five year plan for the future seems like an impossibly long timeline

Probably impossible if you mean that you make a plan to follow for 5 years. Planning is like calculus. You need to know what to do right now, assuming as if you are going to do it forever, then you immediately update your plan once you have feedback from what you did right now, and you will be in a different place from where you thought to be yesterday. Having routines and a day plan for today helps me a lot.

At last, this is a common advice about jobs/ career I like.

"Do not pick a job to help people. Pick a job that you can do well and help the most."

Learning to be patient is a great start! Wish you the best :)

Yes, it's not a bad idea, but it likewise pretty difficult to just 'make yourself happy' on cue. It's more of a habit, a pattern of thinking, that changes your mind in the long run? Also, there are other mind-states that are good for lowering OCD symptoms, not just excessive cheerfulness, but also just being generally compassionate, or trying to cultivate a calm attitude, or having flexible, open-minded thinking can all help as well.

Maybe you could try something like a mindfulness-based technique for your OCD? Many people say this workbook has been helpful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
People who practice mindfulness (the proper way, that is, not just the modern trendy version that's a bit half-arsed :D ...) tend to report having a calmer, more balanced, more cheerful mind-state, because they've trained their mind in a lot of healthy habits that tend to make you feel more positive in the long run. Like for example, focussing on how you can be kind to others around you when you're having a bad day, tends to lift most pople's spirits, or adopting a mindset where you're trying not to ruminate excessively over worrying things from your past.

At the very least, mindfulness practice is unlikely to do you any harm, and it's likely to help lower your OCD symptoms, so maybe it'll make you feel happier too as a nice bonus :)

I suffer from OCD as well, and oh boy, let me tell you all the intrusive thoughts I'd dealt with last summer was really brutal to my mental health, but it gets better once you learn how to manage it. The main key in dealing with these intrusive thoughts is by letting them pass through your mind. Don't think about them or dwell about them. If you keep thinking or fighting these thoughts, it keeps coming back. So try as best as you can not to think about them. Your thoughts are NOT you. Remember that.

Now, you have to ask yourself which gender you're really attracted to. There is nothing wrong with having SSA; however, by the sound of its, it sounds like you're either straight or bi. Also, these HOCD could be due to your brain trying the process the events that happened in your childhood that have affected you.

First thing first, are you seeing some sort of therapist to work with on overcoming your OCD tendencies? If cost is a factor, consider going to your local Catholic Charities center. Most have therapists available to help you and it's typically on a sliding scale.

Two, is there anyone you trust that you can talk with about what's going on, like a family member, friend, teacher, priest, etc. Once I was able to open up to my love ones, it felt like a major burden was taken off of me, and I could openly talk about it.

Finally, I recommend you read this book. It really helps you with dealing with unwanted intrusive thoughts.

Of course, make sure to pray daily, especially asking the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Dymphna for their intercession.

Depending on who I'm talking to I'm either an atheist or a a Buddhist because they are good shorthand. I generally avoid telling people anything because I feel that spirituality is extremely personal and isn't always meant to be shared. My beliefs on Buddhism are also based almost entirely on the works of Alan Watts (link to one of his books at the bottom).

I was raised in a very conservative Christian environment but went through all kinds of different phases after rejecting it. For a while a practiced witchcraft and ceremonial magick, studied christian mysticism, Kabbalah, shamanism, and was even part of a Chaos Magick group for some time(interestingly virtually every person in this group was an INFJ or INTJ). These things no longer play a major role in my life but to claim that I have left them behind would be dishonest. The ideas and beliefs, or rather the malleability of ideas and beliefs, that I encountered during this part of my life still affect every part of who I am. I won't try and justify any of this logically, all I can say is that it is a type of study that some people are naturally drawn to and they have to be really careful to not get lost in self delusion. The best way I can describe "Magick" is that it is the study of the nature of reality and the power of symbols in the human psyche.

Today my main form of spiritual practice is just meditation and automatic writing. I meditate anywhere from half an hour to an hour a day and It has more benefits than I could have ever imagined. I am more effective at everything I do, I'm more focused, I'm more confident, I rarely get depressed, my temper never flairs up, I'm more patient, I'm better at dealing with people, I'm now almost completely unaffected by other people's emotions etc... Automatic writing just means writing as fast as you can without consciously thinking about what you are putting down on the paper. The only goal here is to learn about yourself and dig into your beliefs. All of us have an incredible amount of unhealthy beliefs about every part of life and they can be replaced. I have also came across very interesting ideas and poetry this way. This is very personal and It's benefits are very personal. I cannot guess what someone else would learn about themselves by doing a similar practice.

This only scratches of the surface, but today the main belief I try and live by is that everything is one and my identity is an illusion. There is only one experience or one event that makes up the entirety of the universe. Practically it just means that everything is "environment". My "identity" is implied by the environment and the environment is implied by my identity, infact to divide the two is a logical fallacy. An itch, my idea's, a door, my roommate's emotions, a tree, and the sun are all really the same thing- environment, God, universe, experience, Ubik etc... There is only one experience and bliss can only be enjoyed by complete acceptance and love of the experience.

If you are curious about this idea check out The Book: On Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts and/or The Wisdom Of Insecurity.

I'm also willing to discuss, to the best of my ability, anything else I wrote here.

No because meds are not the answer. There is no med that will cure OCD. They CAN make it more manageable but you must also do the work.

When I first got OCD I just wanted to take pills and have it be over too trust me. But the meds help but they cannot take it away.

Working with a therapist is the best answer because it means that once you have the tools you can control and manage your OCD by yourself!

I would highly recommend this website

https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/pure-o-an-exploration-into-a-lesser-known-form-of-ocd/

That website is really helpful in discussing pedophilia OCD and Sexuality OCD

It helped me SO MUCH and made me feel so much better


And this book


https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535801531&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+unwanted+intrusive+thoughts

Please seek professional help it's the best way to help you.


You are young and if you try and get professional help and work through it the right way you will have the best chance and then can live your years in peace.


Look into Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP, EX/RP, or “exposure therapy”).

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, I can't imagine how hard it is. I had written a reply but deleted it because it didn't really register with me that you said you are homeless right now. I can't imagine how tough that is. Thank you for coming here for support.

Do you have any capability or resources to see an OCD specialist/therapist; or are you able to purchase a $15 book that could help you understand OCD better and help you design a treatment plan that can help you cope with these thoughts? If so, the book is here - https://smile.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X - and it is written for people who are not able to get into treatment (but it's great for anyone, even people who are in treatment).

I don't want to reassure you, but just to inform you, a lot of people have been in your shoes before (at least related to the OCD; being homeless is definitely an extra layer of hardship!) and have gotten better using the therapeutic treatments available for OCD. It can get better for you too, even though I can definitely understand how it might not feel like that now.

Please keep coming here for support, and please keep being strong. You can do this.

Hi there. I'd say that the symptoms you describe are a normal reaction to what should be an abnormal event; at the same time, it's no way to live. You shouldn't have to struggle with these thoughts and feelings every day.

It sounds like you are managing incredibly well, especially given how much your daily life is affected by what you've been through. Seriously, well done.

Personally, after I was hurt I poured even more energy into my work (it was my first 'real' job out of uni). I moved to a new neighbourhood, had terrible nightmares/flashbacks and constantly had the event on my mind, but at the same time I actually excelled in the work sphere. I was promoted several times and given raises etc... however, as you say, I was tired. Eventually, at about the three-year mark, I became so drained that I couldn't keep it up, and the situation began to reverse - my work suffered more and more and my personal life all but disintegrated. It was a profound exhaustion like I'd never known. By the time five years came, I was at the end of my rope. I had to take a full year off of work to focus on processing the trauma and rebuilding my life.

The reason I'm sharing this is to let you know that you're not alone, but also to warn you that if it is still affecting your day-to-day life this much, it's unlikely to go away on its own without some kind of intervention. Please do keep living your life and be very proud of everything you are accomplishing, but also be cautious of burnout. Even the strongest, most intelligent person has a limit to what they can endure.

Therapy can be really helpful if you have access to it, but as you mentioned it's not within everyone's budget. This is more of a long-term plan, but when you are looking for jobs, look closely at their benefits packages - many do include mental health funding/support services, at least where I am. In the meantime, it might be worth reaching out to your school and your local rape crisis centre to see what they might offer in terms of free counselling.

Outside of that, I'd recommend getting a few books to guide you through. Some that could be helpful are:

• Calming The Emotional Storm ...I think this one was written with bipolar people in mind, but I don't have that (I've been dx'd with ptsd, anxiety and depression) and I still found it very helpful
  
  
• The Rape Recovery Handbook ...haven't tried this one myself but have seen it oft-recommended
  
  
• The Body Keeps The Score ...a very well-known book/author dealing with trauma recovery
  
  
• The PTSD Workbook ...not saying you have ptsd, but this might still be helpful to guide yourself through trauma recovery
  
  
• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook ...I've found this one helpful as well
  
  At least a couple of these are also available as audiobooks, if that interests you (I use Audible).
  
  Good luck with everything; it sounds like you are on a great path. You will get to a place when what happened to you feels more past than present... just be sure to address it and treat yourself with kindness and compassion along the way.
  
  It's totally normal and ok that this is tough for you, but it doesn't have to be this way forever. You're so much more than what happened to you. 💙

I would suggest creating a self care routine that you make a daily habit. Start with a small morning ritual and a small evening ritual, and gradually build it out from there.

A great book on creating habits like this is Atomic Habits by James Clear. (The book is worth it, but you can get a lot from just browsing his website)

Speaking for myself, what works for me:

AM

• Wake up early
  
• Go for a 20-30 minute walk
  
• Meditate with the Headspace app (you can also use Insight Timer which is free, but Headspace is my favorite and absolutely worth the money to me)
  
• Exercise (yoga, jogging or weights)
  
• 10-20 mins of basic housecleaning
  
• 10-20 mins of shower and grooming
  
• Get dressed and out the door.
  
  PM
  
  
• Turn off screens at 8:30
  
• Make tea
  
• Gentle stretching and foam rolling
  
• Journaling
  
  • a few sentences about the events of the day
    
  • a few sentences about gratitude
    
• Read a light fiction book on my kindle until I fall asleep
  
  My therapist suggested I make my routine non-negotiable. It was hard at first, and a lot of times I don't feel "motivated" to do it -- but I make myself do it anyway. Over time, it has completely changed the way I feel day-to-day.
  
  The point is — you won’t “feel like” doing your routine. But you know it makes you better, so you make yourself do it anyway.
  
  Here are some great books on how to treat depression, which are full of great, and specific advice.
  
  The Upward Spiral (costs $10, but EXTREMELY worth the money imo. There is also a workbook I bet would be absolutely perfect for you.)
  
  Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression (free to read for Kindle Unlimited)
  

Before you start meditating, I highly recommend starting with this book. The beginning aims to help you better understand your anxiety and then branches off to different exercises you can do depending on severity or situation that can help calm and relax you. If you make a daily habit to perform the exercises, you'll see a reduction in anxiety symptoms. It may also help you get a better handle on yourself; awareness of your body and mind is obviously a good thing to have and I'm sure you'd be very relieved to be able to, at some point, anticipate oncoming anxiety symptoms before they cause extreme discomfort and distress.

The book contains some different breathing exercises you can practice that will help you form the basis for controlling breath easily and calmly in meditation. After you get accustomed to this practice, you can also use the breathing when you're in any trying situation that can bring your heart rate or jitters up.

This has, of course, been my experience, but the book has been highly rated on Amazon, and I'd seen it recommended several times before I finally picked it up. It's given me real skills I can use and practice with to deal with my anxiety and panic. I've also found that a lot of meditation instruction isn't suitably tailored for people like you and I. It will tend to be highly vague, steps will seem to be missing; almost like they think whoever is reading/listening already kind of "get it" and can plunk down and follow them from the get-go. Nope, not that easy for us!

I'd also like to recommend Wildmind. They offer practical, easily-digestible instruction and information on meditation; I really feel like I finally "got" meditation after reading their articles. Just start there on the linked page from the beginning where you start with posture I think and then move on to other practices.

There are also so many different ways to meditate, and I know all this different information is probably making your head spin. I hope you find my advice helpful and simple enough, it took me years to compile it, to find what was right for me! It's my wish to make things easier and more accessible for people like you and I, because, as you know, anxiety blows. Good luck!

I know you're in a bad place right now and here's an Internet hug from someone who understands your pain. Unfortunately, 'success stories' are probably not what you need right now. That would be reassurance seeking and is something that keeps OCD episodes coming back. It teaches your mind that 'when I'm feeling bad I need to find new information to make myself feel in control again'. It gives temporary relief but only reinforces the same patterns. I recommend reading the following book to get you started: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474416036&sr=8-1&keywords=ocd

Then I'd say find a good ERP therapist who will help you make sense of all the confusion in your mind. The book in particular has some great exercises that will help you prepare yourself for the ERP sessions.

Finally, whether your thoughts are from OCD or genuinely how you feel, you are not a bad person. Actually if you could step outside of your own mind right now, you'd be able to see that what you're going through is simply part of the human experience. Especially in the 21st century where so much importance can be placed on romantic relationships, our peculiar ideas of love and the black/white views of society around us.

I'd say if you haven't already, read the book. It's written by someone with far more experience on the topic than any of us hanging out here in the subreddit (though not to take away from the wisdom and anecdotes we can share). Then, find a good ERP therapist in your area. That's plenty of homework to keep you busy for a little while :)

Here are some great books on how to become less anxious and create healthier habits, which are full of specific, actionable advice.

The Upward Spiral (costs $10, but EXTREMELY worth the money imo. There is also a workbook that just came out.)

Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety (free to read for Kindle Unlimited)

I would suggest creating a self care routine that you make a daily habit. Start with a small morning ritual and a small evening ritual, and gradually build it out from there. Things like walking, yoga/stretching/exercise, hydrating, cleaning your space, etc. can be game-changers if you do them consistently.

A really great book on creating habits like this is Atomic Habits by James Clear. For me and my partner, life-changing. (The book is worth it, because it is systematic - perfect for 'checklist people', but you can get a lot from just browsing his website too.)

Fair enough. In that case, you might check out this book, which synthesizes several approaches for intrusive thoughts and OCD that are helpful for a lot of people.

The reason I'm mentioning these solutions instead of hypnosis is there's very little objective evidence hypnosis is helpful for OCD, whereas these other approaches have been shown to be helpful.

Also, I'm not saying this is the case for you, but I think some people are interested in hypnosis as a treatment because it seems easier or less emotionally demanding -- just sit back and go into trance, and let the hypnotist fix you. This isn't actually the case, though. Hypnosis demands active participation from hypnotist and subject, and can be just as emotionally and mentally challenging as other treatments. Which isn't at all a criticism of hypnosis. But if you're going to commit to doing some mental and emotional work to improve your symptoms, you might as well start by investing that work in the approach with the best chance of success.

T長;D読

----
My simple guide on how to meet a girl on Tinder.

> The purpose of this guide is to get her on the phone so when you plan the meetup she feels much more comfortable and is less likely to flake. I don't think this guide is anything special but it clearly shows that texting is not optimal for building a ton of comfort.
>
> Your biggest enemy on Tinder is our attention spans. I've talked to many attractive girls on Tinder but their attention spans are razor thin and can easily be swept away by someone else. I'm guilty of doing this to girls as well. Your second biggest enemy as a male is your neediness. Seeming too thirsty or too impatient can be an immediate rejection. I believe showing patience shows insane abundance mentality. So anyway here's how I go about it.
>
> 1. Talk to your match, have fun
> I usually complement something I like about them and joke around. After some banter ask a question or two to see what they're like.
> 2. Get her number So after you've messaged back and forth and she seems cool I'll usually drop this line which is true for me in my case. " Hey! Let's swap numbers, I don't turn on push notifications on Tinder. Text me @ 75X-XXX-3333 " So this is my first checkpoint to see if she's on Tinder for validation or looking to hang. It's a yes or no answer and if she texts you, she's investing and you're coming off with the "Buyer's mentality."
> 3. CALL HER This is the most Key part! After she texts you, you need to figure out what is a good time to call this girl? I usually go with afternoons and late evenings. If she asks you a question or the conversation is in a place where it's your turn to reply. I will not text her back till the evening when I'm ready to call her. If she replies within an hour. I just straight up call her. Even if they're busy and can't talk they will end up calling you back. If you moved too fast she might reschedule the talk and say we should talk later, just reply back quickly with just, "Ok" to show that you're not too worried about it. Whenever I've done that they usually call me to say goodnight.
>
> Calling her allows you to show your off your voice that you are a guy. You could text each other for 3 weeks and not know as much about each other as 2 hours on the phone. And you'll know before the meetup if you guys are going to click really well or not. Every single time I've done this they've always thanked me for calling them and every single time I've done this they were the ones asking me out at the end of the night. I think it's fucking cool to call someone straight up. I get that rush of adrenaline and my heart races every time I'm about to call a girl for the first time which makes this part of the process for me really fun. Hope this helps someone
> > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>My problem with Tinder is that I get no matches at all... :|
> > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>Location, pictures and culture can have a huge impact on matches.
>>>
>>>In Melbourne I got quite a few, in Japan less so, in Taiwan I'm swimming in matches.
>>>
>>>One girl in Taichung saw me at a night market, knew I would be on tinder so matched, met at a bar and chatted before I said "okay let's go". We jump on her scooter back to my hotel room.
> > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>Heh... I wish have like that... :|
> > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>You can. Anything is possible.
>>>>>
>>>>>If you saw the toothless, unfashionable, slob I used to be you'd be in awe. Everyone can change.
> > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>I don't know how to make myself change. I know I should have no bad feelings and don't care about time and effort, but "just do". Why I'm thinking that I'm man of instant gratification? Why I can't be persistent in stuff that seems hard for me? I know I should do so many things to fix my life but I do nothing about that - feeling even worse. I know that I'm now complain. Heh, next thing to change. My whole life needs complete repair.
> > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>>>Mine too mate. Most people are like us.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Change is never one big step, it's a thousand little ones. One day you will realise how much you have changed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I recommend reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. This book helped me realise things that I could fix, especially in my thinking.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>You can message me anytime if you need help.
> > > > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>>>I need to look it less legal way (money, you know). I read some books but they just make me more sure that there's too much stuff to fix in my life...
> > > > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>>>>>大丈夫、二千円だけ


----
^(Check out copy-kun on) ^github!

Hi there! I have been living with anxiety and OCD for as long as I can remember, and in more recent years depression has come onto the scene as well. It's hard to give situation-specific advice since you didn't provide information about your particular brand of anxiety (like triggers, frequency of panic attacks, etc.), but I can break down what I have found works for me. I hope my experience with combating anxiety will be useful to you!

• Tip No. 1: If your anxiety is severe enough to affect or impair your daily functioning (for example, your ability to work or school, have healthy relationships, and basically make it through the day in a bearable way), get help. There is assistance available even for those who are uninsured or financially strapped, especially in metropolitan areas.
  
  
• Tip No. 2: Therapy has honestly been the most beneficial and effective part of my treatment. I would even go so far as to recommend it without reservation to anyone suffering from anxiety, especially if their symptoms are on the milder end of the spectrum. I strongly believe that therapy should be the primary line of defense in combating anxiety. That's right, I said it, not medication. Of course there are exceptions to this rule of mine, such as in crisis situations (following a suicide attempt, hospitalization for a severe panic attack, etc.), but in my opinion, many people tend to jump straight to medication before exploring other options and then find themselves disappointed with often lackluster results. As a bit of a caveat, sometimes it does take time to find a skilled therapist that you can trust and connect with. This may be especially difficult with social anxiety or if you have had a bad experience with therapy in the past. Keep at it. It'll more than likely be worth it in the end.
  
  
• Tip No. 3: If therapy alone is not enough, medication prescribed by a mental healthcare professional is a valid option. In my experience with friends and such who received psychiatric medications from their primary care physicians, the results were often mixed or negative. The simple fact is that while PCPs are great for lots of other health concerns, the mind is not their area of expertise. A psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or psychologist (in states where they can prescribe) is much better equipped to recommend, adjust, and switch medications when necessary than your average general practitioner of medicine. And just like finding the right therapist, finding the right medication often takes patience and persistence. If you have specific questions about medications (I have been on several SSRIs and mood stabilizers in the past), feel free to ask away. And finally, don't expect medication to fix everything. It won't. I know that might seem obvious, but I've seen a lot of people stop taking medication when they shouldn't have just because their life wasn't immediately fixed. At their best, meds just make life easier to confront, not easier to live.
  
  
• Tip No. 4: Something that has been unexpectedly helpful in combating my own anxiety is doing lots of research about literally everything that scares or concerns me. It started when I was first prescribed medication and I was afraid of side effects, so I went online and started reading up on them. Yes, there were horror stories, but the majority of people don't spontaneously combust on antidepressants, and that made me feel better. From there, I started researching my phobias, like flying. Just knowing the mechanics and realistic risks of things that cause you anxiety is often enough to put mild anxiety to rest.
  
  
• Tip No. 5: Books like this can sometimes be useful for learning techniques to quell anxiety, such as thought stopping (a personal favorite of mine) and other relaxation techniques. They're especially great in times when you can't see a professional for whatever reason, because they're designed to model therapeutic techniques.
  
  Sorry for writing you a bit of a novel, but I wanted to make sure that I covered everything and explained myself well. Also, please note that I left off a lot of other techniques that are highly effective for many people (such as mediation/prayer) because I personally have not had success with them. That obviously doesn't mean you shouldn't explore them, in fact, I encourage you to. Everyone is different. I hope that what I have learned thus far in working through anxiety is useful to you.

I applaud you on taking a huge step when it comes to battling your OCD! You are right! Finding someone is a complete pain in the backside, but don't give up!

/u/backhaircombover/ is correct that the IOCDF is a great resource. I also have occasionally found some listings on the https://www.psychologytoday.com/ site.

If you have insurance, they will often have a list of professionals they work with as well. Unfortunately you will likely find that a lot of the folks with a great deal of OCD experience tend not to take insurance. Still, sometimes you can find both!

Definitely do what you can to research people on the net and also make calls and talk to them in person. It can be a good idea to write down your questions and concerns so you don't forget anything when you are on the phone. Also, be willing to give someone a try if it sounds like it may be a fit but you aren't positive. There is no reason you have to go back if it just isn't clicking.

In the meantime, you might also benefit from going through a workbook on OCD. I recently did this one with my therapist and I did find it helped in some ways: The Mindfullness Workbook for OCD.

Good luck!

Edit: Forgot to add, different professionals specialize in different things (ERT vs CBT for instance) so keep that in mind as well. My last Dr was experienced with ERT and I found it helped a lot.

This used to be me as well. I believe it's a form of OCD, where you have obsessive and compulsive thoughts thoughts instead of actions.

I've largely moved past it but it still flares up every once in awhile. My best suggestion: reach out to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Medicine has been a god send to me and my family. Your wife loves you and supports you but you have to take care of yourself as well.

This is a book my psychologist recommended to me. It might be worth it to check it out. But please, seek help. The first step is the hardest but it will get better, trust me.

Link: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C-BFybHGF1DMJ

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/OCD-Workbook-Obsessive-Compulsive-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572249218/

These are the gold standard, but more affordable ones will give you similar information if you're on a real budget. Just search OCD workbook and preferably 'ACT' and 'ERP' to ensure you're getting the best info.

Yes totally :) I have Pure O that often manifested in needing to 'check' online about things, and of course I couldn't be panic googling round my friends house, so if I got triggered I was able to hold off. In fact being around people and out and doing things and noticing how your urge to perform compulsions can be acknowledged without being acted upon is a great start for working towards recovery.

If you can notice your ability to not check/obsess etc around other people you can start allowing yourself to not perform compulsions in private too. That's how I started getting better - noticing how I was able to sort of absorb the compulsive feelings in public and practising that in private!

What kind of background do you have with exposure therapy? Are you looking to learn about it in general? Are you curious about how to approach it with a specific person in mind? I ask, since that might help point you in some good direction.

"Traditional" exposure therapy relies heavily addressing negative reinforcement (operant conditioning), with an emphasis on habituation. Having a solid understanding of how negative reinforcement fuels anxiety disorders is a fundamental starting place in this line of work. Since exposure therapy works by attempting to extinguish a fear response through habituation, understanding this process becomes important not only for your own knowledge, but for psycheducation to help your clients/patients understand why you want them to do the things you'll ask them to do (e.g., face their fears).

It's worth noting that the habituation model isn't the only way to approach exposure therapy. Michelle Craske's article on inhibitory learning provides some additional context on enhancing exposure work and offers some useful insights that move beyond the habituation model. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides another school of thought involving exposure work, but as that's outside of my area of expertise I'm hesitant to recommend books there. However, anything by Steven Hayes is bound to be a good way to learn more about ACT


Within the habituation realm, Exposure Therapy for Anxiety Disorders would be a good place to start, as it gives a broad overview of the concepts and begins delving into specifics.

Beyond that, however, my suggestion would be to focus on learning about exposure and response prevention (ERP), particularly for OCD. The concepts here apply to every other anxiety disorder (although certain adjustments need to be made in certain situations, such as patients with BDD or PTSD). OCD is simultaneously simple and complex to treat with ERP. The principles are straightforward (i.e., response prevention aimed towards compulsions, exposure aimed to obsessions and avoidance), but building and designing the appropriate treatment plans takes a solid understanding of both the process of ERP and a patient's individual symptoms. Two great places to start are The "Treatments That Work" book on OCD, which is part of the reading list for the International OCD foundation's Behavior Therapy Training Institute (BTTI), as well as Johnathan Grayson's book, Freedom from OCD, which I recommend to all of my patients with OCD.

/edit - spelling

Hey monkeyfett, I'm sorry to hear about how bad you are feeling. What I found most helpful and motivating was The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (apologies for the mobile link). It looks as though there is also a Depression version if you think that's more appropriate to your situation. The two disorders can be similar and coexisting.

This workbook is written in a comforting and informative style and filled with helpful, nurturing information. It puts the power in your hands by giving you information to understand yourself and your condition and gives you tools to decide what's the best way to proceed for yourself.

It was awesome because you can take it at your own pace, and it is available 24/7 unlike a doctor or specialized program. They are extremely helpful if you haven't found the right program or doctor yet. There is a wealth of information that is well organized into a system, that helps you make up an action plan and tackle the different parts f this complex problem.

I can't recommend these workbooks enough, mine quite literally saved my life. Please feel free to reply or PM with any questions or if you want to talk.

I'm so sorry that your anxiety is so awful right now, and it sounds like it would be horrible for anyone - but add in an anxiety disorder and yeah, things feel fucked.

Are you saying that you are "for certain" going to prison?

It's really common for breathing exercises to freak people out, so please don't think that's just you. It really helps to do breathing exercises when you're NOT anxious so that they become more comfortable to do when you are anxious/panicking...however, you do not at all sound like you're in a place where your anxiety baseline ever gets very low.

I think what the others have said is all good advice. You definitely need a therapist who does immediate symptom relief training - pure CBT. The best psychologist I ever had, who helped me SO much, used the book "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook." See if you can get a psychologist to work with you using that book, maybe? (There are older, less expensive versions available on Amazon that are just as helpful as the updated 2015 version.)

It also sounds to me like you are very much NOT on the right medications. Have you talked to your med provider recently, and been brutally honest about your symptoms? You really, really sound like you could benefit from anti-anxiety medicine (like a benzodiazepine) (but try to use that short term if possible to avoid withdrawal later on.)

Finally, keep writing. Reddit is great for support. Right now there are almost 200 people browsing /r/anxiety - so even though you only got 16 upvotes (so far) and 8 comments (so far) - trust me, EVERYONE reads what you have written, and MANY are helped by it even if they can't offer suggestions...although you will get some responses, and it's nice to know that people can really and truly relate to the special kind of Hell you're going through.

I posted a similar question on here for a gift for my boyfriend, and I got a lot of great responses so I decided to make a "panic box" for him with lots of different ideas.

He is big on scents for soothing, so I got him a relaxation blend and frankincense essential oils, as well as his favorite incense.

He is also very responsive to tea, so I got him this pregnancy tea. I know that seems weird, but it was one of the few on Amazon that had chamomile and oatstraw. Although I didn't really expect them to work, I also got him stress mints, calm drops, and moon drops in hopes that having something to suck on might calm him down if some minor anxiety pops up.

As for books, after reviewing this thread here, I got him this anxiety memoir since he seems to benefit from reading other people's stories (shout out to this subreddit! Thanks guys!), as well as this workbook.

Finally, I got him a panic pete to give him something to hold and squeeze when he was anxious. Out of all the things I got him, he loved panic pete the best!

As a final, personal touch, I printed out this article which he loved reading when he is anxious, and included some of the calming mantras I found here.

Hope at least some of this helps!

It sounds like your biggest concern is less of an issue with discipline and more of an issue with with anxiety. When fear of a situation or an interaction starts to control your behaviors or causes a physical reaction such as shaking you could be experiencing a panic attack. Anxiety can prevent people from achieving a lot of their goals but it is something that can be worked through.

To help figure out if this is something affecting you I would recommend doing some research and same basic self assessment. Sites like anxieties.com and adaa.org are good place to start.

If you think you might have anxiety issues do not be afraid to seek professional help.

One great book is Anxiety as an Ally: How I Turned a Worried Mind into My Best Friend by Dan Ryckert. In it he details his history with anxiety including his first panic attack, seeking help, and eventually using it as a motivator to things he had never thought possible.

As far as finding work goes, you need to start showing people you are employable. You basically have almost no resume so you will need to start with jobs that require no previous experience such as fast food and retail. While these jobs may not seem appealing they are simply stepping stones to show other future employers you can hold a job. No one hiring at McDonalds is going to bat an eye when you tell them the truth about why you having no previous experience. They see it all the time. If you do any volunteering or charitable work be sure include it on your resume.

You won't be able to walk into a dream job but it won't take long before you have enough on your resume to start moving up to better jobs.

PM me if you have any questions and I wish you the best of luck.

If I understand right, you already signed off and accepted the OTH discharge, which is going to make it a lot harder to fight and do something about it.

The real question is, will fighting this really be worth it? Yeah, maybe you could get a lawyer or a journalist to take your side and make a big stink about it, but how much time do you really want to spend dealing with this BS, going to court, etc. etc.?

I am not you, nor a lawyer, nor an expert. But I'd say at this point you probably should just move on. If possible, see if you can hold down a steady job and get health insurance. Look into government and private charity programs in your area. Here's a book I'd recommend, too: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311372808&sr=8-1, it's got a lot of good stuff on how to self-treat various fear, anxieties, and phobias, including OCD and PTSD.

Also, even if the government doesn't give you the respect and recognition you deserve, you still know what really happened. Hold on to the idea that you acted in good faith and remember that their opinion of you doesn't matter. You can pull your life back together, find friends and family to support you, and find a new career. You can decide for yourself what to make of your life.

I wish you good luck, sir.

Gotta love the addict brain. I'll say (though I bet you know by now) that it's hard to just take away that stimulation; you need to replace it with something less destructive. Likewise you can't just have motivation, you need to be motivated to do something!

That said, my point is actually that I totally identify with having a lot of self analysis that doesn't seem to lead anywhere (along with much else you've said)... Right now I'm mostly through reading The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, which I think I might've seen on this sub actually? It tackles head on the disjunction between the thinking self and the doing self, and though it can get a bit out there at times I've found there's a TON of wisdom if you'll look for it. I've been reading just a bit at a time going to/from work most days (like 10-20 pages) and every time I feel like I'm getting more in touch with both who I want to be and who I actually am. Highly recommended.

In the end, just try not to stress about it. Do what you can... because that's all you can do! I love my addict brain, it's taught me to appreciate everything in life to the fullest, even the craziest beautiful lows. We've just gotta learn to apply that passion in a productive way. Good luck!

Xanax is highly addictive. Overdose and withdrawal are quite nasty. Tolerance builds up quickly. In general, it's best used for rare, circumscribed anxiety, like someone who has a fear of flying takes it a few times a year when they have to take a plane. Xanax can multiply the effect of alcohol, so I would recommend drinking very little or nothing while on it.

Adderall can also be addictive, but not quite so much as Xanax. There is much more research showing that you can take a steady dose of Adderall under a doctor's supervision for a long period of time without harm. However, you may feel some withdrawal if/when you stop.

Children who take adderall long-term end up a little bit shorter than their non-medicated peers, probably because they eat less. (Adderall suppresses appetite.) If you've already grown to adult height, this is not a concern.

Suggestions:

(1) You might have less anxiety if you take an extended release form (if you don't already). They produce a "smoother" onset of the drug so you don't feel that jittery rush after taking it. Adderall XR is the regular extended release. There's also Vyvanse which has an even slower effect because it has to get converted to its useful form while in your body.

(2) You might ask your doctor to let you try methylphenidate instead of Adderall or one of its cousins. Methylphenidate (ritalin/concert) works about equally as well and some people just do better on one over the other.

(3) Strattera is a non-stimulant ADHD drug. It doesn't work for everyone, but it might help you get the focus you need without anxiety.

(not a suggestion) There are other drugs used to treat ADHD including atypical neuroleptics (like Risperdal) and beta blockers (like guanfacine). Those mainly treat hyperactive symptoms, especially aggression. They don't really do much for inattention, so they won't help you.

(4) There are effective non-drug treatments for inattention in children - they require parents and teachers to provide frequent feedback and reinforcement to keep the kid on task. These aren't always feasible in adulthood, and don't always make sense in certain situations (such as driving). Nonetheless, they do have some use. If you want a non-drug solution, techniques like going to a boring location away from distractions, using ColdTurkey or similar software to block distracting sites, making procrastinating more difficult, etc. are helpful. (Personal favorite trick is whenever I'm trying to work, I completely unplug every cable that hooks up my TV and video games - if I want to play, I have to spend a few minutes on cables which is annoying, so I'm discouraged from playing.) There are a lot of books on self-management of adult ADHD. They have lots of these suggestions and they are moderately effective. YOu could also work on these issues with a therapist who would coach you on applying these techniques.

(5) You could keep taking Adderall but learn to cope with the anxiety. All the techniques psychologists have for coping with anxiety (deep breathing, mindfulness, muscle relaxation, distracting thoughts, etc.) work just as well on "fake" anxiety as on the real thing. If you want to try this, you can look up a lot of good stuff online, or treat yourself to The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook which is the czar of evidence-based anxiety self-help books.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, I suggest doing what I’ve started: invest time in digging out the root of your depression. IMO this sounds like a lot of self-talk, digging yourself into an idea of who you are or a problem you caused when in fact the issue is much more minute or even non-existent.

I’ve found cognitive therapy very helpful. It’s a great way to figure out a general prognosis of what kind of anxiety/depression you’re facing. You shouldn’t have to live your days cowering over this. I’m using this workbook currently and it’s already given me great insight as well as exercises while I search for a therapist. It may not be right for you, but perhaps a good start.

Hookup culture is full of expectations, but it sounds like you honestly got a cool dude. Don’t fret: based on your account of events you did a great job of pleasing him and making his night.

Sounds like too much time in bed. It’s counter-intuitive, but you’d likely get higher quality and less fragmented sleep if you spent less time in bed.

This book might be helpful:

End the Insomnia Struggle

Alternatively, a good cognitive behavioral therapist who specializes in insomnia good be really helpful.

Good luck!

I'm not sure what your last sentence is referring to - are you saying it's why you don't want to get professional help?

If you don't want to see a therapist, start with the Anxiety Phobia workbook and do some exploring on your own.

For me, there's often something going on that triggers my anxiety, but I don't realize what it is. It pretty much always feels like it came out of nowhere and I have to do a lot of self reflecting to figure it out.

I see a therapist every other week. I'm on Celexa and actually currently coming off Lamictal (with side-effects even though I carefully planned how to come off of it with my therapist). I've learned all sorts of techniques for dealing with my anxiety and hoping I can eventually come off the Celexa. One big thing is learning the signs that an attack is coming, and that addressing it by thinking, breathing, relaxation, taking a walk, etc. I've tried many different meds and combinations, different therapists, etc. (over the past 13 years) Finally found a therapist that really helps me and a med that works pretty well (still takes lots of effort on my part). I also eat right and exercise at least five days a week, which has been incredibly helpful with my anxiety.

I don't really have anxiety but I recently read "Anxiety as an Ally" by Dan Ryckert from Giantbomb. One of the key points he makes is that you don't really beat anxiety but just learn to tame it and control it through various methods. Some of the methods that worked for him included:

• Yoga/Meditation
  
• Exercise (Dan mentions how running helped him keep fit and his stress/anxiety levels down)
  
• Drinking less alcohol
  
  Obviously everyone is different but it can't hurt to try these methods if you can. Hope that helps and best of luck.
  

I've personally found The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook to be helpful... it's very comprehensive and recovery-oriented. It helped me understand anxiety and its treatment a lot better.

Support groups can be great, too.

I don't have any specific advice on therapists, but I hope you find one who works better for you. Best of luck on your road to recovery!

Happy Monday, everyone ♥

This cool dude has been hanging around outside my place the past few days. I think I saw him again this morning, but it could be a different osprey. For the sake of a good story, I'll pretend it's the same one and we're bros now.

It's gonna be a good week. Saturday night I was part of a really good business meeting that detailed a strategy for the next few weeks, months, and years for a project I'm part of. My involvement mostly involves me sitting in my sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt on the phone with everyone and saying, "Yeah, I dig that idea," and "Nah, that idea blows," on a subject I have little to no knowledge about, so naturally I'm very important to the team.

Enjoy today. Find something positive. And everyone read this book. Everyone.

As a diagnosed OCD sufferer who has learned over five years to "tune it out," let me provide you with some resources to help while you're locating a therapist. I'd recommend mine, but he's in Orem.

This book brought me a great deal of relief, and I review it off and on when I need a refresher in managing my OCD. It covers most of the major themes people experience: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2FJ9LNLQMV2IT&keywords=ocd+mindfulness+workbook&qid=1564633924&s=gateway&sprefix=OCD+mindfulne%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-3

​

For general depression, I recommend this. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that it saved my life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=the+happiness+trap&qid=1564633982&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyWEVXMFNMWVFMWVZFJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzg4OTU0MTdNRFBBNTBaUzNNOCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzE2MDU5M0c1ODdLTkxONUZaMyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

​

I have a few copies of each of these books, and if money is tight, I would be more than happy to give them to you, just shoot me a PM.

​

Hang in there! Easier said than done, I know, but in time, you'll learn to observe your thoughts and ride that wave!

There are a two workkbooks that I can think of off the top of my head.

There is The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Bruce M. Hyman. It is does a pretty good job in what it sets out to do and there are less expensive editions of the same book available on Amazon.

One that I haven't gone through yet goes by the title of The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Jon Hershfield and Tom Corboy. I am not sure if it touches upon ERP (Exposure Response Prevention). It has gotten great reviews though!

Best of luck!

I can't speak for everyone, but for me it is very similar to perfectly normal feelings of nervousness or unease, but can be far more intense and can come on in situations where it is totally not normal to feel that way. The smallest things can play on my mind and however much I talk myself through the logic of the situation, however much I know that everything is fine, the feeling of dread just doesn't go away.

If you want to learn more about Anxiety and the experiences of someone with anxiety, I'd recommend reading Anxiety as an Ally by Dan Ryckert. It really helped me understand my own anxiety and what I was going through. It isn't a traditional "self-help" book as such, but more of an account of Dan's experiences with anxiety. He articulates it all far better than I can in a reddit reply, and it is on sale on kindle for like £3.50 at the moment for Mental Health Awareness Week. I definitely think it would help you understand her better. Disclaimer: I'm a volunteer moderator on the games site Dan writes/makes videos for. That's how I became aware of him and his book. I'm not shilling for him, the book genuinely helped me understand my own anxiety and I think it could help you understand what this lady you're close to is going through.

If anxiety has turned you into a shadow of your former self (like it has to me), then therapy isn’t a bad option. Actually therapy has been the single best thing I’ve done for myself in regards to my anxiety. It’s not gone, but being able to ramble about all the things I think about to someone has proven beneficial.

Anxiety greatly shrunk my world, and after a length of time led to me being depressed. I’m now trying DBT, which is like CBT but adds meditation and stuff. CBT is good because it helps you recognize and try to correct negative thought patterns. DBT does that but too, but with some more steps. You could try to go through some self help workbooks before therapy if you like. Here’s one that I got a good bit out of:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572248912/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YYA4BbNKWEZRF

Good luck!

My daughter was born at 31+4 just like your son. We were in the NICU for 53 days. She is now 13 months and is completely caught up.

Based on the picture you posted, your little guy is doing great. To be off the nasal cannula and breathing unassisted at 6 days is quite an achievement!

One thing that helped us get through the first few weeks was kangaroo care and reading. My wife and I would take turns: I'd read while she held the baby, or she'd read while I held the baby. We read The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, which helped us to realize that worrying about things that might happen, or fixating on the way things could have been were both pointless exercises in fantasizing about imaginary realities. It became a little easier to just accept the way things were and stay in the present as much as possible.

Enjoy the kangaroo time...it really is precious. A year from now your little bug won't stay put long enough to get a solid cuddle in.

I read your whole list and while I'm not too familiar with medication but it's good to hear you have access to Psychiatrist's. If the "voices" in your head aren't your "thinking voice" I would talk to your psychiatrist immediately. it won't hurt to at least check up with them. Just remember overcoming OCD is a long process and not a "smooth" road you might have set back, days that are worse than others, etc... I would buy this book by Dr. Jonathan Grayson Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty, Updated Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/042527389X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jxOOBb3CJPEG0

It's the best piece of literature on OCD that I've read, you would think the author has OCD himself. It also gives you the tools to and shows you how to make your own recovery program. And if you have access to Psychiatrist's/ Therapists even better because you can work through it with them.

PS A general rule of thumb is to accept uncertainty and do the opposite of whatever your fear/obsession for example, "yeah, maybe the devil wants me to do this and maybe this makes me a bad/sinful person"

I would do the recovery program with a therapist I think that would be best.

Best of luck

-Dean

I can't say for certain, but that sounds like OCD for me. The most commonly depicted type of OCD is contamination/hand washing, which sounds very different from what you are going through, but the condition takes on an enormous number of different forms and this sounds like one of them. When I was a kid, I couldn't wear shirts with a tag in the back of the collar. I hated how the tag felt against my skin. When I wore a shirt like that, I would think about it and really feel it all day. I eventually just started cutting tags out of my shirts. It's weird because now, I can't even feel the tag in my shirt if I try.

I'm had OCD for a long time myself (it probably started when I was 12 and I'm in my late twenties now). My experience of it is that the therapy is extremely effective, but the majority of doctors and psychologists don't really know about it and aren't qualified to treat OCD. I didn't really start doing proper therapy until last year. Sadly, this is pretty common for OCD. I've read that it frequently takes >10 years for a patient to get adequate care. I'm still recovering, but have made huge advancements this past year. There are a lot of problems that I think people (especially therapists) are far too optimistic about. I have chronic fatigue issues and from what I have gathered and experienced it seems that there is really nothing to do about it. However, OCD is not at all like that. The therapy is very effective and there's actually real reason for hope.

A very helpful approach for me, in addition to therapy, has been reading about OCD. I've read ten books on the disorder. Some of the advice was immensely helpful. It's weird how much the experts know and how little of that knowledge is communicated to the mainstream psychological/medical profession.
This is the best book I've read so far:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

If you're unsure about what OCD is, whether or not you have it, and what to do about, I'd highly suggested that you read it.

I have gone through exactly what you are going through, the most important thing is to remember you are not alone.

The important thing is to separate the thoughts from the feelings. I was also in a place where I would feel anxious around men and my attraction to women had lowered, so I put 2+2 together despite never finding men sexually attractive/never fantasising about men. How to overcome this is to embrace uncertainty. To just allow the feelings to just be there and not to try and overanalyse them. You sound like me, so wrapped up in your insecurities that you are overthinking your every move and you can't see straight. Take some time to just allow the feelings to be feelings and you'll feel better.

The most important thing you can do is see a therapist right now. It will be the best decision you will ever make. I know this is hard to hear but you have to stop using the internet as a checking source. Stop looking for solace in reading coming out stories or posting on forums like this and most importantly, stop analysing every feeling you have.

If for whatever reason you can't see a therapist (or to supplement your time with them) I recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501734947&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd

If you have any questions or you'd just like to chat, I'm here for you. You can PM me.

Good luck.

I can’t relate to what you are going through, but I can relate to opening up on issues as a means of help.
I’ve heard this book is fantastic and sounds like something you could benefit of.

Anxiety as an Ally: How I Turned a Worried Mind into My Best Friend https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692401512/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_cXydBbTWG54CB

Dan has been a game critic and pundit for years and has openly spoken on his anxiety.

Here’s an old GoG vid on the topic too.
https://youtu.be/h1l_SW0VWts

If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, they may have been in-struct-ed, programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be.

But even though OCD has a major cognitive component, unlike OCPD, OCD is psychotic and requires a medicinal as well as behavioral treatment scheme.

Here's a road map:

1. Medications, but only if really needed to get one stabilized enough to do the next six things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the clinician locator on the Psychology Today website. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs.
   
   
2. Support Groups: AA, MA and/or NA if one is using intoxicants to try to cope with emotional pain; OCDA, ACA, EA and CoDA... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions.
   
   
3. Books and academic, professional websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Grayson's Freedom from OCD, and -- because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed for too long, including complex PTSD into extreme coping behaviors: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. This article will get you oriented. Accurate information is power.
   
   
4. Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's SP4T as the interoceptive 9th of the 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing to manage any "time bombs" that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the
   
   . . . a) CBTs including REBT, collegiate critical thinking, schema therapy, and CPT; as well as the
   
   . . . b) "super-CBTs" like MBCT, DBT (the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), ACT, MBBT, and MBSR; and the
   
   . . . c) "deep cleaners" like EMDR, HBCP, SEPt, SP4T and NARM.
   
   The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc.
   
   To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look here, and here, and here, and (for DBT specialists in particular) here. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview them as though they were applying for a job with your company. Most MD / psychiatrists, btw, are not therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often -- though not always -- excellent sources of referral.
   
   
5. Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana-style? (For a lot of people with anxiety, this stuff handles anxiety chop chop. Not sure about depression. Many of the modern psychotherapies for anxiety are actually based on it now.)
   
   
6. Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks like these, and these, and these, and these. But specifically for OCD, I would suggest this and this, because the Tx methods used -- and mechanisms of delivery here -- are research-proven.
   
   
7. Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... and it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy.
   

I like to go to the park and chill on a bench while doing breathing exercises. Sometimes I listen to the Rain Sounds app on my phone (with earbuds), as I find the sound of rain and thunderstorms to be calming. Anti-anxiety medication is also very helpful (for me), first few days on them were rough, but it was smooth sailing after that. Eating healthy and getting lots of anaerobic exercise (running, cycling, etc.) is also helpful. I wasn't able to cope with just the natural remedies, and needed drugs to get me out of the rut I was in, but that's just me.

My doctor recommended this book, there's a lot of good techniques in there that helped me (and there's a torrent of it floating around online).

The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts (really, anything by Alan Watts) and The Unteathered Soul by Michael Singer. They're more commonly found under zen or Buddhism than Self Help though. For me they were the most helpful in gaining control of one's emotions and thoughts, as well as self acceptance and happiness in one's life as-is, rather than any unreachable goals or futures.

Books can be very helpful as well. [The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook] (https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466618329&sr=1-4&keywords=anxiety) is a great one to start with as well as My Age of Anxiety.

Monkey Mind and Agorafabulous are great books when you want a good laugh and realize other people have similar experiences as you.

You sound like me. I grew up similarly abused and also have anxiety and self esteem issues.
He's being insensitive for sure (maybe a bit ignorant), especially after you told him that you were ready to see a therapist (great idea because that's what I did and I'm a lot better now). I don't even know why he said that when you said you were going to see a therapist, it kind of makes me mad that he did when you were actively trying to fix yourself. My boyfriend was happy that I saw one and supported me.

But he might not be aware that people with anxiety issues do not simply just get over it, it's a long process of acceptance. A lot of people think that way about anxiety so I don't really think you should blame him for that.
So you should definitely communicate to him that this is a part of you that you are trying to fix and as a boyfriend he should be supportive in your decision, and that you are hurt by him telling you to get over it. Though he hasn't talked to you, just be the bigger person and explain yourself, because he may not fully understand.

BTW you are not WORTHLESS. You deserve to feel good about yourself, I used to think exactly like you, and it's just circular thinking. Therapy is the way to go. Fantastic book if you would like to get started on your way to loving yourself: Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. If you need anyone to talk to you can PM me. I want to help because I know how it felt and still feels.

There are a number of self-help books out there that can give you support and even give you some guidance in some forms of treatment. The ones I used before I went into therapy were:

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD (Mindfulness and ERP therapy)

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (ACT therapy)

The OCD Workbook (ERP therapy)

There is always an added benefit of therapy that you have a coach who can help you with the process of recovery. I tried self-help before therapy, and while self-help helped (heh), I still struggled. At a certain point, I could afford therapy, so I went for it and it helped a lot. I learned that I had underestimated the importance of the cognitive part of CBT, and I needed some coaching on that. But the themes I tackled during my self-help ERP--I had killed them dead. I learned I was kinda doing the exposures a little wrong during my self-help phase, but I still got the effect. YMMV.

I also recommend just general support groups like this one, ocdforums.org, and The OCD Stories. Not gonna lie--sometimes I go there for research/reassurance (as do a lot of the posters on the forums). But some days, I read or hear something that really clicks and is super helpful. And that can go a long way. I still use some of the techniques and phrases I learned on those sites.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there.

Greetings, fellow OCD sufferer. I was diagnosed with OCD three years ago, and my primary theme is moral scrupulosity. I know exactly what you're talking about, and can empathize. This article brought me a great deal of help.

http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/

This book, along with therapy, greatly helped my life as well. Mindfulness and Stoicism go hand in hand. This book has a great section on moral scrupe . https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions-ebook/dp/B00H28YC98/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500527937&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd+workbook

Do you work with an OCD specialist? Have you ever done CBT/ERP to learn how to manage things?

One of the best (read: shittiest) things about OCD is that it can always find a new theme, a new set of obsessions and compulsions, to burden you with. But at the end of the day, OCD is just OCD - the content doesn't matter, the treatment and coping methods are the same for all the various themes you could think of. So if you've ever gotten professional help before, you can employ the things you worked with then to help yourself now.

I've you've never seen an OCD specialist, that's my first recommendation. If that's not an option, there are some great self-help resources available. I personally recommend Hershfield and Corboy's Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.

Good luck!

Although not terrible in the same way, I bought this book https://www.amazon.com/Play-Away-Workaholics-Cure-Anxiety/dp/0615918174
Based on a really good blurb on amazon. The book wasn't very good but early on the author confesses to having been a successful PR guru who has helped launch other successful books. This is obviously why the book seemed good based on advertising.

Try talking to your general practitioner (or a GP at a walk-in clinic, etc.), and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are covered by OHIP in Ontario; however, the wait time before the first session can be months. Your GP should be able to diagnose and treat anxiety (with medication) as well if that's suitable.

I recommend self-help resources, such as The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Bourne (https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912). This guy knows what he's talking about, and if you're motivated enough to work through this book, you will get results.

A great free online self-help CBT course that his great for anxiety is MoodGym (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome). There's a similar one by the same people called e-couch, which is also great. (The MoodGym page says that it's for depression, but it works well for anxiety, as the techniques are basically the same).

Good luck!

I think if you are consciously and deliberately trying to avoid compulsions, that's great! You are already doing better than half of this sub.

That said, making mistakes is normal and human. Don't beat yourself up for giving in into a compulsion. After all, it's a human instinct to avoid anxiety.

By all means, keep avoiding doing compulsions (don't avoid obsessions / what causes your anxiety). Definitely be proud for what a step you took, but also try to avoid giving in to "fixing". But don't beat yourself up too much, just keep making a lot of effort consistently.

Consider trying self-directed ERP: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/

Get yourself a couple of books on ERP/CBT:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1608828786/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1572249218/

Doing ERP feels like torture, but it's pretty effective. From the tone of your post, it sounds like you could do it on your own (i. e. without a therapist). So you could probably get better.

I use many of the tools outlined in this book on a daily basis. Among them are meditation, relaxation techniques, self-talk coaching and breathing exercises. They help immensely and I love this book. I am also in talk therapy and somehow I found a pretty good therapist which I know is not always common. A few years back I was on some meds to help level out the anxiety as I began therapy. I have since been taken off of them because of the continued work I am doing in therapy and out in my life. For me, recovery from this anxiety and from these 90 lb fleas is an ongoing process. I don't think I will ever be "done".

Many therapists will work on a sliding scale. I pay $14 per session. My Zoloft costs $5 for two months (I cut the pills in half as per my doctor's instructions). I pay about $35 (factoring in gas to drive to the pharmacy and therapist's office) a month for my mental health. It's not nothing, but it's less than I pay for my phone, my Internet, my food, or my rent - by a long shot.

I let myself believe that it was too expensive to get help for far too long. I was actually telling this to myself because I didn't want to have to get help for a lot of other reasons. I keep this all very private - literally no one in my life knows that I go to a therapist or that I take medication - and you also have that option. Keep it to yourself if you're ashamed or embarrassed, but also realize that you shouldn't be embarrassed - you should be very proud of yourself for recognizing that you feel something that you don't want to feel, it's impacting your life negatively, and you want to do something about it. That takes a lot of courage.

I also have found the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook to be a really good resource for me to work through my anxiety. Your local library may have a copy that you can check out. The Feeling Good Handbook might also be helpful for you.

You don't have to feel this way. Take care of yourself.

For me, meditating on no-thought daily. Reading into zen philosophy, and incorporating it into my life. I absolutely adore Alan Watts, and he's a great place to start - I'd recommend The Book if you want to jump in the deep end, or The Wisdom of Insecurity if you want to start more shallow.

Once you re-orient your life-philosophy (dorky as that sentence sounds) to focus on the now and the recognition that reality goes far beyond the labels we apply to it, the daily maintenance is rather easy. I meditate to clear my mind and re-orient myself, contemplate, and listen to what my body needs - not every person that follows zen does this, but I do, and for me, it's the healthiest, best thing I could possibly do.

HEY Tried to read some book about insomnia with cbt like this one

You should try to have a better Sleep Hygiene:

• Limit Caffeine
  
• Exercise early (go for a run for 15 to 20 minutes)
  
• No alcohol
  
• Regular wake up time
  
  
  You can use Stimulus Control to teach your body that the bed it's only for sleep (and sex):
  
  
• Start with your bedtime routine (make your bed, etc)
  
• Only go to bed when sleepy
  
• get up if you're not asleep in 20-30 minutes
  
• Do something boring (Listing a podcast, draw, fold your clothes )
  
• Go to bed again when sleepy
  
• Repeat the above as required
  *wake up at the same time and do not take naps
  
  Sleep restriction:
  
  
• Keep a sleep diary
  
• Calculate average sleep
  
• Divide taht by average time in bed
  
• Pick your new time to goto bed
  
• get up at the same time every morning
  
  Example:
  
  TIB: Total Time in Bed
  
  TST: Total sleep Time
  
  Date | Time in Bed| Falls Sleep | Wake | Time Out of Bed | TIB | TST
  ---|---|----|----|----|----|----
  Mon | 10 pm| 11:30 pm| 3:30 am| 7:00 am| 9 hrs | 4 hrs
  Tues | ----| ----| ----| ----| 10 hrs | 6 hrs
  Wed | ----| ----| ----| ----|8 hrs|7 hrs
  Thurs | ----| ----| ----| ----|14 hrs| 12 hrs
  Fri | ----| ----| ----| ----|6 hrs | 2 hrs
  ----| ----| ----| ----| Totals:|47 hrs | 31 hrs
  47 hrs / 5 (days) = 9.4 hrs (average time in bed)
  
  31 hrs / 5 (days) = 6.2 hrs (average time in sleep)
  
  9.4 / 6.2 = 66%
  
  You should aim for + 80% (sleep efficiency or 80% of your time in bed spent sleeping)
  
  You new bed time would be 1 am if you need to wake up at 7:00 am (instead of 10 pm) to induce sleepiness.
  
  You're not sleeping less than what you do now. You're sleeping the same average
  
  
  And you can use techniques from cbt to refute thoughts like:
  
  
• "I shouldnt wake up in the middle of the night"
  It's normal to wake up several times
  
  
  
  
  Im sorry for the long ass post. I want to help you and at the same time I'm remebering what I have learn about cbt with insomnia. What I wrote are the basics but reading a book gives you a better idea of what to do with your insomnia.
  
  For years I have not slept well and now I have been doing these exercises and techniques and I feel better. Only need to persist
  
  I hope it gets better for you
  

I would suggest making a counseling appointment at the student health and wellness center. But in the meantime, I would suggest taking walks, doing breathing exercises, etc to try to distract yourself. Having a support system is really important too, so try to talk to your roommate(s), friends, family, etc about it so that they can help you!

If you can, I would suggest getting The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook because that's helped me a lot with trying to find ways to cope with my anxiety and address the root causes (it also has audio activities online for you to listen to). Oftentimes, panic attacks and anxiety are caused because we are too tense and don't even realize it; are you clenching your jaw right now? Are your shoulders scrunched up? These are things we do every day that send stress signals to our brain, and we don't even realize that we're doing them. Breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation exercises are super helpful for me (both of which I learned from the workbook but you can also find videos for online), I did them every day for a few weeks last spring quarter and it probably saved me from a few panic attacks.

Here's a link to the workbook if you wanna check it out: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1538276019&sr=8-3&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

Just remember that you're not alone! It's scary and difficult, but there are so many people who are in the same boat as you and I highly suggest reaching out to loved ones about what you're going through because chances are at least one of them will be able to relate. I hope things get better for you very soon!

There is a lengthy section in our wiki about this, written by people just as anxious as you are. I hope it helps!

(You should also know that if you're in the US Medicaid does offer some assistance toward mental health, you're just limited on providers.)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/gettinghelp

There are other options that don't require you even leave your home, if it is very bad for you. Meditation, breathing exercises, and general cardio has all helped me a great deal. There is also a book that I personally found extremely helpful. It explains different anxiety disorders and discusses/teachers various methods to relieve it. It really is a good read, and if you have a Kindle relatively inexpensive!

I hope you feel better soon <3

This is wonderful. I’ve saved it.
For people wanting help with this but more in-depth, I highly recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157

It’s the next best thing to a course.

Yeah you might be better off with a secular distillation of Buddhism, like The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts or Buddhism Beyond Beliefs by Stephen Bachelor. The closest thing I can think of as a dogma-free take on Classical Buddhism is Thich Nhat Hanh's order of Interbeing, which you can find in The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook was great for me when I was dealing with PTSD as a teenager (and getting flash backs), my friend with anxiety post a brain injury also found it helpful.

If a work book alone isn't enough to help. And if you try all those other great tips in the thread. Have a look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and maybe eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy.

CBT should be easy to find via a free anxiety support group or a sliding scale therapist. The EMRD is really only a suggestion if you have some sort of extended benefits that cover insurance (since last I heard it cost something like 1500 dollars for seven hours of treatment).

Thanks for the note! So, it basically boils down to being anxious about being anxious. Its a fairly common reaction people have after having a panic attack (for whatever reason) because those things are shit. Worst of all, it's a catch-22: you try not to be anxious about being anxious, but wind up being anxious about being anxious about being anxious! It really sucks. There are still things you can do to help, though. Like I said, I'm not a doctor or professional of any sort, but here are a few things you can do:

Breathing works really well for this, because just taking a moment to breathe deeply is actually counter-intuitive to the body in its anxious state. Taking a moment to take a breath will focus your mind on something else and break the cycle. Also, if that gif won't load or you want to try something a bit different: when you have anxiety, your body tends to try to take in as much oxygen as it can to be prepared to fight or run. Even if there's no discernable enemy. So, your breathing will be a short, deep inhale, and an even shorter exhale, leading to hyperventilation. One way to counteract this is to breathe in deeply as fast as you feel you need (it's a bit hard to control in the middle of a panic attack), but to make your exhale as long and slow as you can. So, you're changing your breathing pattern from this to this. Pretty sure I got this from a Ted talk or some blogger, but I can't find their charts, so I recreated them to the best of my knowledge. Here is another breathing pattern you can use.

Similarly, chewing something also can break the cycle. Carry a pack of gum or gummies with you. When we were cave people, we would hunt (high adrenaline, high anxiety), but we wouldn't eat until after the danger has passed and we were safe. So, eating or chewing something is a signal to your body that you are safe and time for anxiety is passed. It's saved me in a few tight spots, like job interviews (but make sure to spit out your gum before you go into the interview!).

Additionally, meditation, yoga, and being mindful of the feelings you're having in your body (ex. Tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach) without judging them - just recognizing they're there - can often put a bit of space between when something happens, and when anxiety starts to get to be too high. They can help you notice when your anxiety is starting to climb, identifying why you are anxious (maybe the situation you're in is similar to when you had that panic attack?), and taking steps to defuse that anxiety (breathing, gum, exercise, yoga, etc).

One thing you'll likely want to work on is being OK with having the sensation of anxiety on your body and how it manifests for you. I would suggest picking up some coping techniques like I mentioned above first, but once you have some of those mastered, you can meditate on the idea of having a panic attack - I.E. Sit down in a safe, quiet area, and think about when you had one last, and notice all the sensations that arise in your body because of it. Does your chest get tight? Hands get shaky? Maybe you get nauseous, or dizzy? Remember during this that you are safe and nothing can harm you where you are. Your heart may pound and your ears may roar, but you survived the last panic attack - your heart beating hard won't hurt you. Remember not to judge - these are just ways your body is trying to tell you "I don't like this situation." For some people, this kind of "meditation" / thought session can help them to face their fears about anxiety, and when they get anxious next, they are able to say "I've gone through this before, and I can do it again." Kind of like desensitization to the stimulus.

There are also guided meditations on youtube specifically designed for battling anxiety. You might give those a look.

Anxiety sucks donkey balls, but there are options to help. If you want some reading material to help, I highly suggest Hardcore Self Help: F*ck Anxiety by Robert Duff, Ph.D. - that is, only if you don't mind layman's and foul language. He curses like a drunk sailor (in terms of literature), but the advice within is solid. Additionally, they have a F*ck Depression book, too.

(Tried to bold the ideas of each paragraph in case you need to come back to be reminded of ideas that will help)

Edit: added some more breathing techniques.

Rooting for you :)

The best way to overcome a fear is healthy exposure. This workbook has had a lot of success with psychotherapists and psychologists. If you can't afford it, look up things on cognitive therapy.

I'd highly recommend conquering your fears before starting any sort of nursing school. It wouldn't be in your best interest to start the process of being accepted into a school only to have to stop. Until then, if you don't have your prerequisites, go for those.

CBT might help, with a work book like this. https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1572245727

I would also look into gratitude journaling and building success spirals. Basically, set small tasks that you can succeed in that in turn lead to other tasks.

No problem, my guy! Okay so book-wise. The two main recommendations are dependent on what it is you're going through, so choose your own adventure I guess...

So for a broad take on what Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (which is what I'm describing above) is with perhaps somewhat more of a focus on depression than anything else I'd go with this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

However if you want something from the same author that specialises more specifically in CBT for Anxiety it's this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Panic-Attacks-drug-free-therapy/dp/0091929601

I personally read 2/3 the way through the first one wandering when it was going to go more into Anxiety until I found the second one and just went through all of that myself. But as I've mentioned, the first one introduces you to the concept of CBT overall better. But both books have a handful of techniques that help you untangle certain thought illusions (or 'Cognitive Distortions' as they are officially titled) which cause Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Anger, etc.

As for other recommendations; Maybe my second favourite book is 10% Happier by Dan Harris, which is quite a popular one you may have heard of. Basically about an NBC reporter's journey through the world of meditation, which is also a really worthwhile subject to anyone interested in the upkeep of their own mental health or indeed the mental health of others.

Then I guess the book I've gifted the most and my personal favourite is Anxiety As An Ally by Dan Ryckert which is an account of a game journalist's experience with Anxiety growing up. Honestly the easiest book I've ever read. It's just so unpretentious and candid, genuinely funny at points too. I've found it's been a really nice way to get family members to understand what Anxiety or even mental health in general is. A very encouraging and vindicating read for anyone who has dealt with it.

sometimes clearing your mind can help as well.
give meditation a shot?
and read some books about depression.
might help.
recommend hardcore self help
https://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Robert-Ph-D/dp/153003910X/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2/133-5835852-6922348?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=153003910X&pd_rd_r=RRCM2VTA1J5QH4JW1VXM&pd_rd_w=pmCi3&pd_rd_wg=C5roE&psc=1&refRID=RRCM2VTA1J5QH4JW1VXM

Wish you the best.

Then there is no time like the present to get working on what's causing challenges for you!

A mental health therapist can definitely help point you in the right direction and be an effective support.

Also see:

Anxiety

Self-esteem

And Google a host of other resources that might fit what you're going through

Thank you! I'm going to read it. I'm reading this right now: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Alan-W-Watts-ebook/dp/B005YNPBH0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536325780&sr=8-1&keywords=insecurities+alan+watts it's pretty good also if you're interested :)

Hi Dawn! I personally don't have experience with any of those books, but I've heard good things about Feeling Good so I'm thinking about purchasing it as well.

You might want to check out the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. I finished reading it recently and I found it to be quite helpful.

They feed off of us and our energy. Pull your uncle aside and tell him to knock it off - enlist other family members for help with this if you need to. Get yourself some zen. Ask other family members to watch out for her for a while so you can go grab a coffee and recenter yourself.

Something that has stuck with me and that has always worked for me is to "be the calm chicken". I read a book called The Opposite of Worry about childhood anxiety that discussed a study done on chickens. A chicken will freak itself out with anxiety, which will freak out other chickens, who then freak out the others until they're all paralyzed with anxiety. One will slowly come around and start acting normal again if they feel it's safe, which will encourage others to also come around. The chickens look to the calm chicken for reassurance that it's safe and all is well. If all the chickens are freaking out, they will all continue to freak out. There has to be a calm chicken to calm everything down and reassure everyone. The same is true for children who deal with anxiety, and also, I've found, my LO with dementia and anxiety. They look to us to see if things are okay. Be the calm chicken. Meditate, get yourself grounded, and then be the calm chicken.

Yeah, I can definitely relate, because I also had that problem before I was able to finally find therapy. If you are down for it, there definitely are self-help ERP books that allow you to create your own exposure exercises. /u/accidental_warrior always seems to recommend Johnathan Grayson's books. He is quite an amazing and experienced OCD psychologist, so his book is always an option. Here is a link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/042527389X?pldnSite=1

saw this doctor last year for anxiety in kits: https://counsellingbc.com/listings/tgangopadhyay.htm
and she had some helpful advice for me. Talking to someone can really help put things into perspective.

I became a bit obsessed with this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 which is helpful but can also be overwhelming if you try to fit in all the reccomendations.

I also noticed your name is "coffeemanic" one of the biggest things you can do to decrease anxiety symptoms is cut out caffeine. If you're a big coffee drinker i would reccomend cutting back and seeing how you feel.

Hope you can get the help you're looking for :)

Here is a place to find a specialist who treats OCD: https://iocdf.org/find-help/

While you're waiting, here is a really helpful book that will help you get started: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

Best of luck!

Hmm, this is a tough cookie. My best bet for you would be congitive behavioral therapy. Here is a book that helped me. It's nice because it has useful information, and doesn't have that "self-help vibe" about it. You know, where the author uses exclamation points incessantly and states, "you can change now!!!!" Like a broken record. Yeah, this is definitely a book you want to check out.

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333320102&sr=8-1

I totally understand your rant. I have been in the same situation hugs. I recommend this book http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 and possibly a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

and this book: http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0037B6QSY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394415608&sr=1-1&keywords=wherever+you+go+there+you+are


Also, it helped me to do something that actually made me happy. Its hard when you are sort of just going to school and working because you aren't really living in the present.

When I used to live in a warm climate near the beach...that really helped because it was somewhere I loved to go and loved to be and I actually felt fulfilled. I'm stuck in frozen college land right now and I can't wait until I graduate.

Here's a bunch of books that will help:

• Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook
  
  
• Anxiety & Worry Workbook
  
  
• CBT Workbook for Anxiety
  
  
• Anxiety & Phobia Workbook.
  
  If you really work through these books, you should make a lot of progress.
  
  I'd also encourage you to consider therapy. A good therapist would be able to help you tremendously with this issue.

There are things we need to live from nature, like oxygen, heat, complex molecules to make up our physical body, etc. There are also things which are not beneficial to the body, like deseases. Does that mean nature is good or bad? Not necessarily, it means nature just is, "the rain falls equally on the just and unjust".

In that case, you can say it's good, and you can say it's bad, and both would be right. Is that useful? Not really.

There are things on the internet debunking everything, if you care to look for it. It even debunked the David Hume's statement you shared. So what's the point on picking some and discarding others?

It might help to start out with the question: Who am I? You can build your metaphysics on your point of view of that answer. Alan Watts is a great author but it's kind of hard to understand him if he's your first exposure to this topic.

Anyways, maybe he's what you need, check out The Wisdom of Insecurity and/r Out of Your Mind, it might help with your anxiety.

It sounds like you need to focus on your anxiety, my friend. Learning to handle anxiety has a massive positive impact on people suffering from Emetophobia; for one thing, one of the more common symptoms of anxiety is nausea! That's one hell of a catch-22 right there.

If your employer covers it, I'd recommend seeing a therapist. It helped me tremendously, and you can start on some cognitive behavioral theapy (CBT). Failing that, the [anxiety and phobia workbook] (http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912) is a very good starting spot as well, and if you commit to working through it, you'll start to notice improvements.

I can tell you for a fact that it can, and if you resolve to work at it, will get better. I used to flee at the thought of someone feeling slighly ill, and last night was able to comfort my heavily nauseated girlfriend without too much jitterying and hand-washing. It's a slow progression, but it definitely gets better. Hang in there.

What you are experiencing sounds really awful and yet it's entirely normal. The basic principle of the brain is "what fires together wires together". When you had that very intense experience combining orgasms and suicidal thoughts because of medication, it simply made a literal connection in your brain. You can break it, and any good therapist can help you (doesn't have to be a sex therapist).

This can be treated like an OCD symptom where you are having intrusive thoughts triggered by a stimulus. There are great books on how to do this and I highly recommend them:

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

Mind you, I'm not saying you have OCD, or any disorder. But your brain is "locked" in linking these two parts of your life in a very unpleasant way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and this could happen to anyone who was set off with nasty side effects of medication.

You may also approach this like an experience of Post Traumatic Stress, which can also show up with intrusive thoughts. Good resources for that exist too:

https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Workbook-Effective-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1626253706

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

You didn't do anything wrong and you can definitely get past this. The harder you try to fix a mental association the more you can strengthen it, so you need some techniques. Tools for OCD and PTSD are designed just for you in that regard.

I'd buy all 4 books and then find any good therapist to work through them with.

Good luck. I know with the right tools and practice you can separate these two aspects of your experience and get back to enjoying sex, which you deserve.

I have had issues like yours, where I have several "go-to" thoughts that I was never able to get out of my mind, just terrible thoughts. They would last for years.
ERP can definitely help you with this - I'm proof, as are many others on this board. I would urge you to read Dr. Jonathan Grayson's book, Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. It's the best book on OCD I have ever read.
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=30F8WQ22FR6V68ZKZA1H

Hi there! I have Real Event OCD which is mostly mental compulsions (i.e. ruminating) and intrusive thoughts, and I've been doing ERP with a therapist for the last month. My treatment involves creating scripts to listen to (including imaginal exposure scripts, as u/ace2573 mentioned) that confront the worst case scenarios that I fear. I also have to perform tasks specific to things that trigger anxiety related to my fears. We've been following the basic plan in this book:

Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty, Updated Edition

The book covers all kinds of OCD, and has a small section on Pure O, but it's laid out in a way that allows the activities to be modified for any specific OCD theme. It has a lot of examples of scripts that can be used to modify to your specific needs. I would recommend doing ERP under the guidance of your therapist instead of on your own, as it can be triggering at first, but it's really been helping me. Good luck! :)

How are you doing? It's been 2 months since I quit now and things are going great. Sometimes the anxiety pops its head back up but by meditating and using CBT it goes away in 10 ish minutes now.

This is what I said to another user just now.

"Yeah I've made it through. It was insanely grueling at the beginning but things are going well for me now.

CBT(https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346) and Mindfulness meditation(through the headspace app) have helped me the most.

Hope you are doing well!"

I really think you should talk to a professional if possible. See if your job offers an Employee Assistance Plan, which is usually available to all employees even if they don't have benefits. You can also try going to a community center, support group, online forums, phone hotlines, or consulting a self help book. I've heard good things about this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912?pc_redir=1405594369&robot_redir=1. Learn to recognize when you are having an anxiety attack and remember to breathe and try to relax your body. Hang in there and good luck!

It really does! It seems like you have some good distraction exercises like listening to music, try to keep yourself busy with those, it can be very helpful.

Also, I bought this book at the suggestion of my therapist. I have found it to be very helpful, and might be worth the $14 if you have some time to read it. I'd read it when I was feeling anxious and it would help me better understand the anxiety and panic attacks and helped calm me down until I could see my therapist again.

This book is really great. It doesn't give specific solutions on how to solve anxiety, but the author talks through his issues and how he improved on them, and it's really inspiring and relatable. I think this book has been the single most useful thing for me in fighting anxiety. https://www.amazon.com.au/Anxiety-Ally-Turned-Worried-Friend-ebook/dp/B00US3BR0G

I'm really sorry! I should have elaborated more!

In the beginning, My therapist recommended that I go into full meditation mode (eyes closed, laying down) For 15+ minutes in the AM and PM, so that I could get into the habit of recognizing the sensation throughout the day.

The best way I can explain it: when an anxious thought invades your mind, try to view it as just a thought. In a book I read recently, the author explains that one should view their thoughts as a train, moving in and out. When the thoughts come, don't try to shut them automatically out; don't try to toy with them either. Just try to be in as much peace as possible, and watch the thought run from one end of your mind to another.

It is going to be very hard in the beginning, but stick with it!

I would reccomend reading The Mindfulness Workbook. It has a lot of great material on the subject.

Awesome. I'll hit you up when I can check out the show tonight. Thanks! Btw, the book is free this weekend, so if you'd rather have a legit download than the pdf review copy: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NDO429U

>btw, tell her that she’s very brave for her actions. Dun think I’ll do the same in the same situation.

I try to remind her of her bravery as often as I can. You should say the same for yourself. I bet you'd be surprised what you're capable of in the moment. You face fears every single day.

“Bravery is not a feeling; bravery is how you behave when you are scared. You are among the bravest people I know.” - Johnathon Grayson

You should check out his book, Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then let any of your friends or family borrow it who don't seem to understand what you're going through.

You're a tough cookie. I'm not scared. If I was, I probably wouldn't have the bravery to accomplish 1/10 what you can.

A big resounding YES! The environment can make or break a person.
That being said there is no way of knowing how that environment would have affected you, yes maybe you would be a badass right now or maybe you would be a traumatized broken shell of a person, better to believe that things are better off how they turned out.

You still want to become hardened? You can make changes in your life to do so, become a social worker, learn some krav maga, travel or move to a different city whenever you can afford it, etc.

Wanna get rid of the anxiety shit? I recommend a combination of CBT or ACT therapy (look for a therapist who specializes or buy a book at amazon) and nootropics.

Good on you to realize everyone around you is just a whiny rich kid, that automatically makes you more hardened than them, so there you go.

Sure. It's nothing out of the ordinary for people coping with OCD.
I highly recommend you the following books, they are talking about things you're describing and giving great advises:

1. https://www.amazon.com/Coping-OCD-Practical-Strategies-Obsessive-Compulsive-ebook/dp/B003TU2KJC/ref=dp_kinw_strp_2
   2.https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions-ebook/dp/B00H28YC98/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1503184088&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd
   

That's the problem with anxiety--it has a way of convincing us that the most illogical things suddenly make sense and are the truth. There's a workbook that I actually find really helpful: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375290754&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook. Sometimes reading books can make things worse because it brings things to the surface, but this one really helped me to understand that the things I was telling myself really didn't make any logical sense when I thought about it (e.g. "I can't take care of myslef" --I can take care of myself and I do it every day...the anxiety just stopped me from giving myself credit for these little victories). Everyone is different, but maybe the workbook could help you too.

Another thing: I always have a mental dialogue going on...it's only when anxiety picks up that I start thinking maybe it's another voice or something. Really, it's just that dang anxiety convincing me I'm not ok. It always passes. Some times faster than others, but it always does.

be here now is beautiful, unfortunately I do not think it is felt out enough to be a stand alone work. I recommend Alan Watts' The Wisdom of Insecurity as a companion piece even though the two are not stricly coving the same material. They cover the same concept, ram dass covers philosophy from a religious standpoint. while watts covers religion from a philosophical standpoint. Both are great works.

The Wisdom of Insecurity really helped me to realize I was in control of my anxiety, and that most of the issues I was dealing with were the product of our modern lifestyle and way of thinking. Watts is really effective at making Eastern philosophical ideas accessible to a Western audience. I can't recommend the book more, and I hope it helps you work through what you're going through.

I also agree that most of the books by Alan Watts are great to read. Picked this up last week and am loving it

The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307741206/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_K-SQub1FNVRH6

heh, I have to chuckle. Tell ya what; you can get L-theanine at most drug stores and/or health food stores.
Don't buy GABA itself; it is too large a molecule to pass through the blood/brain barrier (think of it as a bag with teeeny holes in it, that holds your brain; cocaine CAN pass through, Aspirin can and L-theanine can. Once inside the brain - the brain takes the L-theanine and makes it INTO GABA.
take a look at the book "how to win friends and influence people" another good book is http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Anxiety is a mental health disorder and can be treated by therapy. Get a therapist instead of trying to figure out how to treat yourself with a bunch of lifehacks.

If that is not an option, get a book on how to treat yourself for anxiety that is recommended by actual professionals. Something like this.

I do think exercise and meditation are also very good ideas, but some kind of therapy should be your absolute top priority in life right now.

ETA: I'm inclined (knowing nothing about you outside of this post) to recommend that you go back to school immediately and take advantage of their counseling services.

Hey, I am sorry your experience was so rough when you tried to get help the first time. I can sympathize with you and your obsessions look like OCD to me, though I'm not a professional. Have you considered going to another doctor to help you? Sometimes it takes getting the right one for it to work. If you can't, there are books out there about OCD that are helpful, two of my favorites before being able to see a therapist were Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz and Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson, but there are even more than that.

I really hope you can break the cycle soon, no one deserves to get their quality of life diminished by something like this.

That’s terrible that you are not being given any resources. If you want to do some reading, here are some absolutely essential books you need to check out:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

My wife lives with ocd (the real kind, not the cutesy sitcom kind that people toss around) and these have helped a lot, in addition to some good therapy. There’s also an ocd subreddit that might be of some help. I hope you can find some good care off campus, with someone who knows what they’re doing.

I'd love some input too being in a similar situation as well. I've been looking for a solution that doesn't involve medication because I don't want to screw up my body's natural hormone levels so I might end up buying this book; from reading the reviews it seems to have helped out a lot of people.

Just so you know, you don't need to struggle through wait lists or high costs to get effective treatment.

The research on anxiety interventions suggests that self-help books that take you through the steps of CBT are just as effective as individual interventions with a practitioner.

The book that is usually recommended to people suffering from anxiety is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook , which can be found at most of the libraries in Halifax.

However, if you cannot motivate yourself to work through a book like the one I've mentioned, working with a psychologist would be best. You will need to contact Capital Health and get a choice appointment, which will triage you into an intervention strategy. Most likely, you will be placed in a group for social anxiety that will meet every few weeks at the clinic on Bayers road.

Alternatively, you could seek private help. There are a significant number of private psychs in Halifax and there isn't really an effective way to determine who would be a good match for you. This is why the choice appointment is used in the public mental health system.

Yup. The schools are weird. They all seem like they start at different times.

Now that sounds like a cool book. Those kinds of military technical history books are super interesting, especially if they involve a state secrets. Here's the link to the Amazon page. I like it because it's one of the few that have pretty clear steps laid out, but still includes a lot of theory.

Yes! This! I've been using this (albeit slowly) but it's very easy to understand and helps a lot: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912

My therapist recommended this one to me:

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

I haven't used it much yet, but I can definitely see how it would be helpful for a lot of people. Might be worth a shot for you?

Your complaint is common with people who are more introverted and have a bit of anxiety. When one feels internal conflict, "should I say this or should I say that? What does this person want from me? What do I say?" this produces a feeling of anxiety and then the need to shut down. Introverts get drained of energy when confronted with interpersonal conflict. Extroverts often feel energized when interacting with others. This difference in energy, speed of response and emotional reactivity can lead to shut down. I recommend two books: The Introvert Advantage, http://www.amazon.com/dp/0761123695/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=2955432445&ref=pd_sl_46kzt5sadt_e, and The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Fourth/dp/1572244135. Both books will help you appreciate your different communication style, deal with the discomfort, and respond more effectively. Good luck.

Hey, I'm currently working through this book and I'm finding it helpful. It's supposed to accompany an online therapy series but the book alone is helping me, it deals a lot with negative thinking, and with how our brains got all messy :) For me understanding that stuff is helping me to be more positive, might help you too.

I would definitely see a therapist(not psychiatrist). The therapist can recommend you to a psychiatrist if they think you need meds. There's also a lot of good self help books out there written by therapists.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

Here are a few books that opened my mind to questioning reality, and a few books that I've read to help me understand this shift in consciousness I've been going through.

1. https://www.amazon.com/Book-Taboo-Against-Knowing-Who/dp/0679723005
   
   
2. https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7Y1AS7AQTH1C1NRRCDQ7
   
   
3. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (don't let the commercialization of that book strip you from believing it to be authentic; plenty of profound truths in that!)
   
   
4. The Law of One
   
   
5. https://www.amazon.com/Falling-into-Grace-Suffering-Adyashanti/dp/B00MF18YFU/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497199153&sr=1-2&keywords=adyashanti+falling+into+grace
   
   
6. https://www.amazon.com/End-Your-World-Uncensored-Enlightenment/dp/1591797799/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497199264&sr=1-1&keywords=adyashanti+the+end+of+your+world
   
   I highly suggest, whenever you're going for a long drive or walk out in the park, taking out your phone and searching "Adyashanti" in the YouTube search bar. There are tons of profound talks by him, all on this subject. He has changed my life and opened my mind hugely. Enjoy!

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.com

amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

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amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

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amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

• Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!
I got this on a whim upon seeing the 5 star reviews, and I though, why not? It ended being an invaluable resource when I experienced a setback. It's a very casual, common sense, and at times humorous, approach to tackling anxiety. Read this, if nothing at all. The author also has an app with audio supplements as well as a weekly email with helpful tips you can subscribe to.

• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
This has tons of researched, science, and evidence-based information thats incredibly helpful. Definitely take the time to do the worksheets and practice. No matter how tedious, you can never do too much. Not to mention the fact that you can access to their online audio recordings once you register the book online. The audio files contain meditation, calming, and visualization techniques. The guided progressive muscle relaxation was a life saver before hitting the sack and waking up as calmly as possible. Tip: if you do fall asleep well after trying that, also try saying, "today is going to be a good day" the moment you wake up. It will drastically change how you approach your whole day, and helps with the onset of panic attacks.

• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Although this isn't geared towards anxiety, I found so many useful tools for approaching vulnerability and finding the bravery you need to go through the scary, dark parts of recovery. Very uplifting and enlightening.

• Notes on a Nervous Planet
I will simply quote a reviewer:
"As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, Matt's writings help in letting me know that I'm okay. This book is exactly what I needed to read. We are living in a time that is hard to understand and sometimes letting go is necessary, but not to the point of recklessness. Matt seems to always find the right way to pinpoint the struggles of many and he has the ability to make us feel as if we are wrapped safe in a warm blanket."

Check out this book on CBT for intrusive thoughts.

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

This link is direct to a pdf file of the book from Library Genesis, the altruistic every science book is now free site.

This link goes to a list of other books relating to bp in mental health.

In my experience it's about projecting a strong version of reality, a strong mental model, and forcing it to cohere the rest of your brain, overwhelming other thoughts, not letting anything ruminate, demanding an answer that fits with reality. Instead of letting your mind wander at work, use it to build your mental models of how the world works. What are you, how do you function, how do your moods work. How do your needs get met, how do people fall in love, how do you raise a good child. I at least start out my day dreaming by setting the tone. If not I'll wander and when I'm not well, I do get the wrong kinds of mental phenomena. It's not all focus on rainbows, but you start with big mental models of the world and the big picture so it's harder to get dragged down or distracted by the brutal things that exist in our past and in our heads. Peace and love!

Breathing techniques are great! They're actually different in CBT and DBT (Paced breathing in DBT, one of the TIPPS skills that I love utilizing when I'm in a moment of Panic or am having a flashback due to PTSD), I also love giving myself outside (of my panic attacks/anxiety) body sensations as you described with the tapping.

Before I got myself in to a therapy program, I used this CBT based work book and it helped me enough to get over my agoraphobia enough to actually leave my house and get into therapy:https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CM796J9N8TT839YY64DD

that blows, at least it's anonymous and free. you can filter listeners when searching too based on issue.

beyond that, maybe you'd rather read a book; http://amzn.com/0380810336 and/or http://amzn.com/1626252157

I read those and they were pretty helpful

Check out Susan Cain's book Quiet. If anything, it may make you feel a little more vindicated for being who you are.

With that, yes, the world is pretty well built around extroverts at the moment, but it is navigable if you have the tools. I recommend finding a therapist, not just for developing tools for your introversion, but also to maybe get some help with your social anxiety. If you can't afford one, and can't find a sliding scale one, a friend of mine with bipolar disorder highly recommended this book for developing some basic CBT therapies for navigating whatever kind of anxiety you have.

Not the main guy, but a great technique is:

A breathing technique of counting to three while breathing in, then counting to six while breathing out.

It is super effective against panic attacks.

EDIT: Also, this! http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Try this, it really helps ... Then when you get home, read this book.! CBT is what it's about for getting things manageable, and that book I linked is a gold standard on anxiety management via CBT.

Good luck you! And don't fight it, accept it and trust that it will pass, it always does \^.\^

1. What was the most effective thing you've ever done to improve your life?

went to therapy

2. How did you do it?

I used PsychologyToday.com to find a therapist. You can search by insurance, what kinds of issues they have experience in, what types of treatment they do, their gender and religion if that's important to you, if they're open to LGBT folks, if they do video/online counseling. I chose a youngish guy who had a kind face, and that worked out.

3. How did you realize that it was the thing that needed changing?

My therapist connected all the dots for me. Before I went to therapy, I was trying to optimize a completely broken system. I couldn't see how procrastinating on doing the dishes was related to how much I drank every day, how that was related to my depression and lack of motivation, which was of course unrelated to my childhood and how I learned to think and behave growing up. Therapy was like making a map connecting all the dots and once I did that I could see multiple paths out. I made some small changes, which led to bigger changes, and now I'm 5 months sober, hitting the gym twice a week, asleep by 10pm every night, back to my hobbies and looking forward to the future

4. Why hadn't you changed it sooner?

moneyyyy

5. What was the biggest obstacle?

moneyyyy

6. How did you overcome it?

I got a promotion and raise at work and took the plunge. I wish I had a better answer and I wish quality mental health services were more available.

7. What would you advise someone who wants to do the same?

if money's a problem: look for younger folks still under supervision. They're often cheaper, and studies show age makes no appreciable difference in quality of care. The office may offer a sliding scale fee, and some are able to give you a lower price if you explain your situation to them. If you really can't afford it, books can really help too. This one on Childhood Emotional Neglect really opened my mind. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook is also extremely helpful.

Obviously I don't think everyone in this sub has a mental illness and needs therapy. But if you're struggling with a consistent lack of motivation, inability to get going, general dissatisfaction, etc. I think it can be really helpful to examine the structures at work behind that. Are you trying to optimize a broken system?

Good for you for having the courage to post on here. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, absolutely exercise will help with symptoms. I highly recommend you get a copy of this book and work through it. It has great info not only on exercise but many other strategies you can use to help yourself. I can't recommend it enough, literally changed my life.

This book changed the way I think about anxiety. I used to think it was incurable too (and was also bedridden for a while), but it's anxiety is not a disease, it's a feeling you have. This book helps reframe the way you think about your anxious feelings.

It's a workbook with exercises, so you can go through it step by step, from fundamentals to more advance stuff (like positive mantras, and supplements). You sound a lot like me a couple years ago. Order it now, you won't regret it, promise!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Harbinger-Workbk/dp/1626252157

You have the classic symptoms of social anxiety. Start by gradually introducing new experiences into your life. You can begin slowly by visiting a store by yourself and not buying anything. You have to start somewhere so figure out your current comfort level and push it a little.

The second thing I would recommend is frequent exercise especially if you don't do any sports. An alternative activity to keep you busy (and make money) would be a part time job that would work around your school schedule. You have to think in a positive manner if you want to change your behavior. I have always considered myself socially anxious yet I started cashiering at a major grocery store chain today and I did fine. A few months ago the idea of interacting with 40+ new people each day would have sent me running in the opposite direction. Now I see it as a way to stay productive and make some extra money while I'm going to college.

I would recommend this book for tips on reducing anxiety naturally.

Feel free to respond to this or send me a PM if you want to talk. It would be cool to mentor someone that is around my age (I just graduated high school).

tl;dr Beating anxiety takes work but the payoff is worth it

IAMAD, but based on some experience with a close family member, some of the thought patterns you're describing are very similar to those described by folks who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. By no means is this an attempt to diagnose you. Rather, know that you are not alone, in fact lots of things about the scenarios and worries you're describing sound like what my elder family member has described to me.

Can you find a way to see a primary care doctor? You are, and will be, ok. Do search out some help to talk to. There's lots of methods my Family member has learned. I also bought him this book: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 - not sure how much he used it but he kept it around me so has at least read it. Best of luck!

You may want to try out MoodGYM for now. It's an Australian site that offers some free CBT help. It may be better than nothing while you wait. I have found The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helpful in the past before I had access to a therapist.

My therapist recommended "Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder" which I think is a pretty good one:

https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

These two books helped me tremendously. If you have a half price books store around you check there you might find cheapers.

Techniques wise breathing exercises have helped a lot
something like going into a quiet room and laying flat on my back. breathing in slowly and deeply until count of 4 and then out the mouth
notice what moves when you breath. is it shoulders or stomach? it should be stomach. if you focus on the breathing and counting you tend to stop thinking of the thing making you anxious. at least thats how it works for me. try to do the breathing for like 10 -15 mins a day

let me know if you need anything else at all. you are definitely not alone

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0380810336/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=36272585680&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11061381279641282039&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5uljnjcgfc_e

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395349963&sr=1-1&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

This one is really good, I read it a few months ago and loved it.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0307741206?pc_redir=1405351634&robot_redir=1

Great job!

I had to commute this summer 45 minutes each way to my internship, and I had a few panic attacks on the road at the start but they slowly went away. One tip I've heard & used has been to turn up the radio & sing along loud to distract yourself, and I also started listening to podcasts in the car which is great because it's harder to tune out information/whatever you're listening to rather than music that maybe you've heard before.

Also, I don't know what it feels like for you, but sometimes I would get scared by anxiety-related chest pain on the road, but I eventually learned to just pull over somewhere safe, take a few minutes to take some deep breaths, recognize that I'm ok, wait a bit for it to go away and get back on the road...and treat that as 'ok' and not beat myself up like 'OMG I'm freaking out, something bad is going to happen.' Instead, just 'ok, anxiety came up, I handled it, I know that I'm actually OK, and I'm going to keep doing what I was doing.' The best thing is to not add layers to the anxiety by worrying about it.

Tangent: reading/doing this workbook really helped. http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1413363281&sr=1-2&keywords=cognitive+anxiety

That's a great book if you have the discipline to do ERP on your own. Some other good books are:
[Freedom from OCD] (https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X) and Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. The nocd app is on ios / android and can aid you in your ERP at home.

I always struggled with anxiety and depression while on my meds. And I was a lot of meds. Lexapro + Klonopin + Effexor + Propanolol.

I really believe meds alone are not going to rid you of your anxiety. I am going through a workbook right now called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572248912/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
It's been really helpful and I would recommend it. I also take a lot of suppliments, talk to your Dr. about what supplements you can safely add.

But probably most helpful for me has been figuring out positive ways to cope with the anxiety. What outlets do you have that can help you process your attacks? Painting, journaling, drawing, exercise, those are some of mine.

Good luck, you are not in this alone!

Oh my god it's not only me!

For people currently in this situation: Going back is never as bad as it seems and it feels so good to get back on track. You can do it, don't think about it just go!

Letting go of the shame you feel for "being weak" is a big part of this (at least for me).
And fuck drugs for this problem, either get a good doc that specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or find this book that my doc gave to me:
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321356734&sr=8-1

CBT has worked better than any drug and has a the best overall success rate for dealing with Anxiety (around 90%).

This is helpful, however woefully incomplete in methods for dealing with a major contributing factor for most chronic procrastinators: poor emotion regulation. This study gives an overview of a theory of procrastination that emphasizes the role of emotion regulation.

To that end, cognitive behavioral therapy methods can aid one's ability to regulate emotions and can be effectively learned without even going to therapy. There are free and paid workbooks that one can use to learn emotion regulation techniques. These techniques I think compliment the guide here, and better pinpoint the root cause of procrastination for many.

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