> If this goes on for days, I progressively end up in a more depressed/helpless state. Making decisions gets difficult, even something as simple as picking an item off a menu. Confidence at work or with any other hobbies gets low enough that I stop doing or achieving much of anything.

This is a very classic "freeze" response, also known as dissociation. Basically, if you're pushed into fight/flight long enough or persistently enough, you'll start freezing up. That makes it difficult to concentrate, difficult to connect to other people, and even difficult to take concrete actions like picking something up. It's one end of trauma-related emotional disregulation, with the other being fight/flight/anxiety/anger. It's very common for unchecked verbal aggression to put people into a state like that. It's also decently likely that you have some form of trauma history that made you more vulnerable to freezing up like that, and that made it difficult for you to get angry enough to push back when she becomes verbally aggressive with you. I'd suggest reading In An Unspoken Voice to learn more about how we get stuck in these fight/flight/freeze responses.

> The only consistent recommendation I see, besides medication, is DBT. What does that mean, for someone without good access to medical care? Buy her a workbook and tell her to read it?

You could try to do that, but it doesn't sound like she has either a lot of insight into how her behavior is harmful or a strong motivation to change. Most likely the best thing that you can do is to focus on improving your own ability to advocate for yourself, to understand what's happening in this situation, and to get clarity about your own conscious and unconscious patterns of thinking and reacting that keep you stuck in this situation. This is unfortunately a "put your own oxygen mask on first" kind of situation.

On another note, DBT might actually be really helpful for you. One area it covers is emotional regulation, or learning to work on your emotional responses so that you can respond in a way that fits the situation. That includes learning about the different basic emotion types (Anger/Shame/Fear/Guilt/Envy/Happiness/Sadness/Love/Jealousy), learning when they fit the facts of a situation, and also learning to recognize when you're skipping past the appropriate emotional reaction and jumping to another one. For example, it sounds like when your wife gets angry at you over nothing, you skip right past anger and into fear/shame/sadness. If you can afford it or are covered, it might be worth finding a DBT therapist to help you work on that. If you can't, this is the workbook that my therapist used with me.

> What can a person like me do to be more resilient to verbal aggression/abuse?

Learning to set boundaries for yourself is probably the key skill to get started with. There's a lot of confusion about boundaries out there. Sometimes it sounds like it's something that other people are responsible for ("they should respect my boundaries"), or that they're responsible for enforcing them once we communicate them. Instead, a boundary is an action that we commit to take ourselves in order to maintain our self-respect and ability to function. It could be something like "If someone is yelling at me or calling me names, then I will leave the area." Frequently, it's helpful to have a series of planned boundary-maintaining actions so that you don't have to take drastic action off the bat -- so in that example, you could plan to first ask the person to stop yelling, then leave the room if they won't stop, then leave the house if they follow you and keep yelling, then stay somewhere overnight if they keep yelling when you come back, then move out temporarily if they won't stop when you come back, then end the relationship if you can't come back without being yelled at.

Other times when people talk about boundaries it sounds like we should just already know what our boundaries are, when in reality it's a really messy difficult heart-breaking process to discover first that something is unacceptable to you and then that you're willing to enforce a boundary to prevent it. There may be significant new emotions or memories of past situations that you have to become comfortable with in order to -- for example, you may be deeply uncomfortable with the idea of being alone or seeing someone else suffering when they claim that it's your fault, and it may be related to difficulties in your childhood or past that seem similar.

There's also a significant chance that you've internalized at some level that you're responsible for your wife's emotional reactions, or that you've done something wrong, or that this is normal. So there's a significant ongoing rediscovery aspect where you'll revisit past relationship conflicts and go "Wait, that's not my fault at all!"

The other thing you can do is to look into whether you might be exhibiting codependent behaviors or in a trauma bond. No More Mr Nice Guy is a decent guide to working on this, although it's a little bit much to handle if you're still in the thick of it emotionally. You can also read When I Say No I Feel Guilty.

> What's the healthy approach towards me getting some kind of support system/network?

Keep on posting here regularly, for one. You can also take a look at /r/Divorce (I've been assuming from the comments from your friends that you're married -- apologies if I'm getting that wrong). I assume you've seen /r/BPDlovedones/ , but it might be worth reading their recommended resources. Work on exercising regularly, see a therapist or couples therapist if you can, try talking to any friends you have that haven't been dismissive before. A light 10-20 minute/day meditation practice might be helpful with learning about your thoughts and emotions, but there can be complications with large amounts of meditation if you have a trauma history or are in a stressful situation (see this book and this guide if you want to pursue that route).

Also just spend time with friends and social groups even if they're not resources for talking about your relationship. It can be important to remember that social relationships can just be fun/light and to provide a counterbalance.

> So... is there any healthy middle ground between "suffer through it, don't talk about it, relationships take work" and "run away, AWALT, borderlines are crazy"?

The middle ground is to work on asserting your boundaries, understanding and accepting your emotions, building a healthy set of activities and friends, and getting clear on what's acceptable to you. If it turns out that you have a trauma history, then something like somatic experiencing or EMDR can help you start to heal from that and become more confident. As you become more confident and assertive, set more boundaries, and work for the kind of relationship that you want, then you'll see w

Do you have kids together? If you don't, the standard answer to just go ahead and leave is probably "right" -- there doesn't sound like there's much good happening for you here. But the problem with "just leave" is that it's all or nothing, and doesn't provide you with an incremental path to building the skills and self-knowledge that will allow you to actually leave.

If you do have kids together, then "just leave" is definitely a bit tougher. This sort of situation can be a kind of crucible that allows for immense personal growth, or can just beat you down.

A couple resources that may help with clarifying the stay/leave question are:

• Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay. This is a workbook with diagnostics for what relationships can be fixed vs should be ended. If you read it and your answers come out as overwhelmingly leave, then do your utmost to just leave, even if you have to move out while she's not there, text a breakup note, and ask your friends to help you.
  
  
• Wired For Love discusses attachment theory and adult relationship dynamics.
  
  
  Good luck and we'd love to keep on hearing how you're doing!

This is a fair question. A condition to practicing toward awakening is a desire to awaken, which comes from good teachings. For pragmatic dharma resources, I recommend you check out the sidebar links, particularly Daniel Ingram's MCTB and Ron Crouch's website (and, specifically, his post "Why Meditate?". Those inspired me to practice.

There are lots of other interesting books on the subject too, including Shinzen Young's recent book The Science of Enlightenment, Sam Harris's Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion, and Adyashanti's The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment. Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now also is quite popular.

And, really, depending on your bent, you can't get any better than the original Buddhist teachings. On the subjects of Enlightenment, the Diamond Sutra and the Heart Sutra are two of my personal favorites. (These are as translated by Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh.)

So, I'd recommend reading and seeing if you feel inspired by the teachings. For me, there was something about the very idea of "Enlightenment" that stirred a desire deep within my heart. It was palpable, and it started at an early age, sometime in middle school or high school when I had to do a project on religions and happened to be assigned Buddhism. Encyclopedia-like resources don't necessarily point you in the direction of Enlightenment, but the explanation of "Nirvana" had some sort of primal appeal to me.

Once pragmatic dharma teachers like Daniel Ingram and Ron Crouch started claiming that some form of "awakening" was actually possible for Average Joe Layperson (like me), I was intrigued, and I decided to give the experiment a shot. Of course I did.

What changes? It depends on how you define "stream entry" and who you ask. There are lots of different models for Enlightenment (as discussed in Daniel's MCTB). Using the pragmatic dharma definition, stream entry is defined as the first time a practitioner completes a fully cycle of insight (typically measured against the Progress of Insight maps) and experiences a "cessation" event. What changes varies from practitioner to practitioner, but on the Fetters Model, which I think is as good as any, three important "fetters" are dropped: (a) belief in self, (b) doubt about the Path, and (c) attachment to rites and rituals.

Concretely, based on my experience, the fetters model (filtered, of course, through my still sometimes cloudy conceptual lens) made a lot of sense. Regarding "self view," the "cessation" experience has a way of kicking you out of the linear way of looking at your life, as an existent self living chronologically in time. While often this insight fades for a while, it is pretty clear at the point of initial awakening, and I speculate that a part of your mind never forgets that. This insight deepens with further practice. Your perspective on your experience shifts from being caught typically in the horizontal dimension of time to instead tuning into the vertical dimension of "just this," in which time, like all things, including the self, is seen as just a concept, a particular way of looking at this immediate, obvious, and manifest reality. Seeing "just this," and recognizing that there is no permanent self that is just this or that provides tremendous relief. Most of our lives are spent trying to protect the self, improve it, make it happy. Seeing through this delusion, even for a moment, has a way of radically transforming one's perspective on experience.

Second, after you complete a cycle of insight, you don't really doubt "just this." There's a lot of work necessary to integrate and deepen that insight. But it feels like you have directly touched reality, the Tao, Nirvana, God, or whatever. Interestingly, in my experience, that which seems to remains when all else fades is all that you ever wanted to begin with. So, the value of this Path becomes obvious. Faith is no longer necessary. A deep part of your mind understands that "this is it."

Finally, the attachment to rites and rituals goes away because you realize that it's "just this." You might have done a lot of work to realize that, but once you do, it's all pretty simple. That realization can't be taken away from you. It's done. It's always available. As a practical matter, that realization tends to fade, come and go, which teaches us an interesting thing about "awakening experiences," a lesson we will have to learn well as we continue to deepen our practice. But generally speaking, after "stream entry," one realizes that awakening is not somehow external to one's present situation, indeed the very idea of internal and external is just another concept which has no concrete, permanent status (is ultimately empty). Thus, the need for rites and rituals is seen through.

All that said, these realizations may not be perfectly obvious at the conceptual level after stream entry. As a practical matter, people generally feel lighter, relieved, happier, at least for a time. But those states are just states, which are not permanent. Enlightenment, Awakening, Liberation, Nirvana, or whatever you want to call it is something that goes beyond particular states or this or that. Once you begin to open up to that dimension of being, you experience a much more profound and lasting sense of peace with just this existence, as it is. It's a nice spot to be in. :)

Hope that helps.

I had some time, I hope this helps, sorry that it made me pretty mad the farther in I got =)

>A vegan diet never sustained any traditional culture

This is an extremely selective take on the source material. Weston Price reported that several healthy groups of people who were lacto-vegetarian or pisco-vegan. At most this would be an argument for vegetarianism, not the omnivore diet that the author is now advocating. More importantly, the logic is terrible, even setting aside whether or not we should be taking Weston Price and his legacy foundation seriously.

There is no necessary connection between the supposed fact that no ancestral diets were vegan and the idea that a vegan diet is unhealthy. Just as there is no necessary connection between the fact that no traditional culture had a lifespan over 60 years and the fact none of them listened to the radio. Without a solid argument of why a vegan diet is unhealthy this claim only lends the appearance of providing evidence when, in fact, it relies on subsequent claims that should be accepted or dismissed on their own merit. So this ought to be dismissed entirely until the claims are established independently and then only accepted as a tenuously possible interesting explanation of other known facts.

> Vegan diets do not provide fat-soluble vitamins A and D

So she readily admits that you can get enough vitamin A by eating vegan foods, but tries to dismiss this as difficult and undone by various disorders. Well, vegan sources worked for impoverished children in Mozambique well enough. Vitamin A can also be supplemented easy enough, like for these children in Venezuela. As for the disorders, sure, lots of disorders can interfere with proper nutrition. That is why we should all go to the doctor regularly for checkups and tests, regardless of our diet. Personally, I've never even heard of a vegan being deficient in vitamin A, but anything can happen.

As for vitamin D, this is actually more important. Yes, it should concern vegans. However, it should in fact concern most everyone because tons of people in northern climates or who work indoors are deficient. It is extremely easy to supplement with vegan sources and can be readily obtained just by spending enough time in the sun. The "useable" vitamin D bit is a canard. Yes D3 has been shown by some studies to be better absorbed than vegan D2, but D2 is definitely absorbed and the solution when necessary is simply to supplement at a slightly higher level for vegans who are deficient. As above, I recommend visiting a doctor for this, they can test your blood for D levels and give a recommendation based on their findings.

>Vegan diets often rely heavily on soy

Sure, so if you have any problem with it don't eat it. There are a ton of complete sources of protein out there. I'm actually surprised that she mentioned soy protein powder and bars, because other than a couple athletes, none of the vegans I know rely on these to get enough protein.

On the other hand, if you have no problems with soy whatsoever, (and most people do not) then this is another non-issue. The last person I talked to who was having problems with soy was drinking ~2 gallons of soymilk a day. That is probably way to much, don't consume that much.

>Vegan diets do not provide vitamin K2

As someone else pointed out in this thread, the Japanese traditional food natto does provide K2 derived from its creation process. Still, having lived in Japan I wouldn't personally want to eat natto on a regular basis, or ever again. However, from what I've read this also isn't a problem for most vegans, human gut bacteria produces K2 on its own. As the blog linked to above notes, if this were a problem for vegans it would show up in the studies comparing clotting rates, but it doesn't.

> Ethical omnivorism supports a healthy planet

I can't even begin to get into how inane this argument is, which seems focused on this weak claim, "vegan diets ten[d] to demand a higher quantity of cereal grains and soy."

Once we get to the point where 70% of US grain is not going to feed livestock and all the major fisheries are not in the process of being entirely wiped out, then we can talk about the fantasy world in which bison roam freely through the towns of Kansas and all the meat we eat comes from free-range goats locally sourced in New Zealand.

I can't even tell you the number of times I hear this argument from people who I later find eating a hamburger at a local restaurant without a second thought as to where it came from, or putting a picture of sizzling bacon they got from the grocery store on their blog. The simple fact is that eliminating meat from human diet would be such a titanic reduction in environmental carrying cost to the planet that whatever fractional gain might theoretically be had from occasionally supplementing with seasonal and local free range meat to avoid complete reliance on plant matter is quite insignificant in comparison.

> Real Food > Fake Food

This isn't even an argument. It is just superstition and cultural bias wrapped up in the shell of an argument. Who cares what humans have been doing for thousands of years? Are we to bring back slavery cause it was functional much longer than the industrial wage system? For that matter, what the heck makes imprisoning cows, artificially inseminating them, machine milking them, homogenizing the milk, then churning the product until it hardens into a semi-solid state more "natural" than combining a bunch of plant based material to produce something that looks and tastes similar? If she is so worried about this "natural vs artificial" false dichotomy, she can go eat an apple (genetically modified by humans for millenia) and avoid both forms of processed food altogether.

> Vegan isn’t the answer to autoimmune disease

Right... if I only had a nickel for every time someone told me a story of two separate phenomena which they have linked as essentially causal in their mind, but which we don't even have the data yet to establish so much as a correlative link, then I wouldn't have much money cause nickels aren't worthy much. Still, this is seriously going off the deep end. She actually links to a book that claims you can treat Autism and Dyslexia by managing the gut bacteria. I don't even know for a fact that these claims are false, only that no scientist on the planet yet knows that they are true.

> You must take life to have life

Wow. Yes, field mice are killed in harvesting grain. If she is so concerned about this, why doesn't she advocate for methods of driving field mice out of their burrows before harvesting, rather than simply accepting their death? Or no longer ever feeding a single grain to cattle whose conversation to the protein that winds up for dinner is so inefficient that it requires the death of an order of magnitude more mice?

The fact is that veganism isn't about no living thing dying. My skin cells and the bacteria in my stomach are dying as we speak. Who cares? I don't believe in magical plant and amoeba souls that are somehow more important than or equivalent to the thinking, feeling, caring, sentient creatures that meat eaters kill, maim and imprison for luxury food.

Also, just to be clear, plant communication has nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence. They don't have nervous systems, they don't have brains, they don't have anything with which to cognate. The "communication" being referred to by the sourced she cites is an intentional misreading of a scientific term meant to indicate transmission of chemicals. Then again, maybe they think the Earth is intelligent because there is communication between the mantle and the core.

> Vegan diets are deficient in vitamin B12 and iron

Getting bored with her at this point. Yes, these are two vitamins of which vegans should be aware. Both can be tested, both can be supplemented if found short. You almost get the impression from this article that most meat eaters are not deficient in various nutrients. Heck, since less than 1% of people in the US are vegan and B12 is a problem specific to vegans, why are 20% of people over 50 borderline deficient in B12?

> Animal fats offer unique nutrients

Omega 3, yet another nutrient that is low for almost everybody. This is the same argument over again. Everyone in my family takes an Ovega-3 to avoid this EPA and DHA issue altogether. I'm not remotely convinced that it is necessary, the studies certainly are not conclusive. Most likely, bodily conversion of flax seed will do you fine as well as chia seeds, beans, cabbage, mangoes, wild rice, etc.

The whole "saturated fat is great" bit is still a fad not established by science. Yes, there have been a couple exploratory studies suggesting the possibility, but credible institutions like Mayo Clinic, Harvard Medical and the American Heart Association still advise against it. And the bit about cholesterol is purposefully obtuse, the human body manufactures more than enough cholesterol on its own. The idea that dietary cholesterol is a "key part of wellness" is based on nothing but hot air.

I went to one AA meeting when I first got clean and never went back. I understand people have found support and success in it but to me, personally, I felt it only increased the stigma of drug addicts as these broken hopeless people barely hanging on by a thread. It's an outdated system that relies on little science or attempting to progress the participants and relies more on holding people in place and focusing on the past. Instead I just worked towards becoming a normal person. Here are some of the resources I used:

r/Fitness - Getting Started: Exercise is probably the #1 thing that will aid you in recovering. It can help your brain learn to produce normal quantities of dopamine again as well as improve your heath, mood, well being and confidence.

Meetup: You can use this site to find people in your area with similar interests. I found a hiking group and a D&D group on here which I still regularly join.

Craigslist: Same as above - look for groups, activities, volunteer work, whatever.

Diet

This will be the other major player in your recovery. Understanding your diet will allow you to improve your health,mood, energy, and help recover whatever damage the drugs may have done to your body.

How Not To Die Cookbook

Life Changing Foods

The Plant Paradox

Power Foods For The Brain

Mental Health

Understand whats going on inside your head and how to deal with it is also an important step to not only recovery but enjoying life as a whole.

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

The Emotional Life Of Your Brain

Furiously Happy

The Science of Enlightenment: How Meditation Works

Educational

If you are like me you probably felt like a dumbass when you first got clean. I think retraining your brain on learning, relearning things you may have forgot after long term drug use, and just learning new things in general will all help you in recovery. Knowledge is power and the more you learn the more confident in yourself and future learning tasks you become.

Illegal Drugs: A Complete Guide to their History, Chemistry, Use, and Abuse

Why Nations Fails

Ideas: A History of Thought and Invention, from Fire to Freud

The Modern Mind: An Intellectual History of the 20th Century

Thinking, Fast and Slow

The Financial Peace Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Restoring Your Family's Financial Health

Continued Education / Skills Development

EdX: Take tons of free college courses.

Udemy: Tons of onine courses ranging from writing to marketing to design, all kinds of stuff.

Cybrary: Teach yourself everything from IT to Network Security skills

Khan Academy: Refresh on pretty much anything from highschool/early college.

There are many more resources available these are just ones I myself have used over the past couple years of fixing my life. Remember you don't have to let your past be a monkey on your back throughout the future. There are plenty of resources available now-a-days to take matters into your own hands.

*Disclaimer: I am not here to argue about anyone's personal feelings on AA**

There are so many and with many different focal points. I also think a list with some identification as to the focal points for each book would be useful. And I'm always happy to find new good ones, so I am glad for this post.

Rodales is one that I've seen mentioned a ton elsewhere, and I have found it useful too. There is some lore and some preparation and growing information along with medicinal info..

If you are looking for experience logs concerning herb usage, Susun Weed's forum is a nice place to search. The accounts are not made by medical professionals and perhaps are not studies based, but they are from people who test and use herbs on themselves. A very female bent; however, I've not seen a male treated anything but nicely there.

Cunningham's is a good magical go-to based in some lore, but can be problematic sometimes as dangers are not always noted. And the lore can be difficult to track down; though I was surprised that some of it had uses that I was already familiar with from childhood. Many websites about magical correspondences are word-for-word taken from it. It's Llewellyn, but don't let that scare you. I doubt there is an apothecary in existence that doesn't have a copy somewhere.

Miller's Magical and Ritual Use of Herbs was one I acquired years ago when starting the magic/psychoactive hunt. It includes some methods for preparation though the herbs included are limited. I think going to a forum or sub here that is dedicated to psychoactives would probably be more useful for preparation guides, but they may lack the ritual component.

For identification and growing and a tiny bit of lore too, I found Angier's Field Guide to Medicinal Wild Plants to be very easy to use when I first started. It's not comprehensive and it is dependent on region, but I thought it was a charming read.

I think if you can find a field guide to wild plants that pertains to your geographical area, it would be better. That way you can get out and examine the plants yourself and see how they grow and interact with other plants and their environments. Much of what I have read about the magical properties of plants makes sense when I consider observations of the plants behaviors. Some of it is counter-intuitive too, but what makes a plant magical is sometimes going to be based in a lore you create on your own.

The Encyclopedia of Psychoactive Plants was a pricey thick one, but one I have found very useful for its purpose. I think it could be more inclusive, but I think the same thing could be said of every plant book published! If you can find one used, you may get it at a bargain. I bought mine for under 50$US but I have never seen it that cheap before or since. But this is not one that will be in every public library, so if you can afford it and spot it cheap, it may be worth the jump of you are into this kind of information. And of course the ever-loving Erowid is a great resource too.

These are just a few for beginning that I have used, but I have not used them in isolation. And there are several I have on a wish list too (this one has been rec'd to me, and omagah these have a savings account building over here). Websites have been excellent free resources especially to start. U.S. Wildflowers has a huge photo library and links to others if the geographical areas pertain to you. It's helped me get some basic identification of local plants many times.

For medicinal use and contra-indications that might feel safer, there are many hospitals that host pages of advice about herbal medicine and many of those link to studies. Since nothing here should be taken as medical advice, going to those resources may be very helpful. I have used too many to list.

And the same goes for growing guides. Websites are going to be quicker than books, but books may offer things like seasonal planting patterns and landscaping that a simple growing guide might not contain. There are too many of those to list as well.

Sorry for the length and I hope you get many more suggestions!

First of all, sorry for responding so late. I saw your comment, but didn't have time to really sit down and give it the attention it warrants. Here is my reply:

This is an excellent and one of the most important points. Unfortunately, health care in America sucks in general and this is even worse for mental health due to a lack of understanding on the part of insurance companies about the nature of mental illness.

I do not have a great answer to your question because I've never really looked into it. There were some sites that seemed like good places to start that I found by Googling around:

NAMI HelpLine

SAMSHA

These are just other general thoughts/ideas:

-If you have insurance and are not really sure what's covered, call them and ask. You'll get a good idea of what's covered, what the copayment is likely to be etc. Even if the copay is more than you can afford, that is not necessarily the end. Many mental health practitioners operate on a sliding-scale which means they have some flexibility in terms of copayment.

-Look into universities or hospitals in your area. They often have clinical trainees or researchers who can see you for a reduced fee or even for free (e.g. in exchange for participation in a research study).

-I was going to say go to your local place of worship, but I am not sure how connected to mental health resources temples and masjids are.

-If you're a student with or without insurance, go to your campus counseling center and talk to them. They usually know practitioners they work with who have cheaper rates for students.

-If you don't have insurance and you aren't a student, there are hotlines or centers that might be able to help you get health insurance. I am not knowledgable of this process, but Google or asking on other subs could help.

-Depending on where you live, there can be support groups offered in the community. It isn't ideal, but you'll receive some form of support and it may help connect to other resources.

-Finally, sometimes seeing a therapist is just not an option. Whether it's due to just not being able to afford it, or maybe you live in an area that lacks mental health resources. In those cases, I could think of a few things.

You can find support groups on the internet. Not necessarily Reddit, but there are entire forums dedicated to people who experience depression, anxiety, substance abuse issues, etc. I'm sure there is a range of variance on the quality, but you should never discount the power of social support, even if it's not through a physical medium.

The other approach is self-education about mental health. Even though I put it as the last option, this is definitely one of the most powerful ones. There are a lot of great books and research papers out there on mental health, understanding specific disorders, and full clinical manuals. Some of these are not really accessible to people outside the field, but a lot of these are meant for the average consumer. You need to be careful because there is a lot of crap out there too. Check reviews, make sure the source is evidence and research based. This one is so critical. Through decades of research, we have a good understanding of many disorders, as well as the treatment approaches that are effective for them. It's important to consume content that is based on these scientific methods. If you need help deciding which books are good, again Google around or perhaps go to a psychology-focused forum and ask for opinions. One good approach is to read books written by the people who actually developed the therapies! Here are two good examples I like:

CBT for Depression

DBT

I fully realize that when you're struggling with a problem, you may feel that you don't have the physical or psychological resources to try to take this approach. But you should always know that this choice is available to you. It's something that you can try. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. But it will definitely not hurt you.

You're the one that needs to find yourself again then. I'd recommend daily meditation to accompany this meditation book:

(1) Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening https://www.amazon.com/dp/1622036050/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_wboYAbF706VED

This paying attention to yourself will help you gather your pieces of yourself.

And then I guess you're trying to be someone you're not, to gain the approval and validation of others. Maybe this is from childhood trauma, or how your parents showed you love only when you "acted" in a certain way, but my next recommendation will dive into all that:

(2) No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0762415339/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_LcoYAbM18P7XT

Then I'd recommend taking these courses created by Jordan Peterson to find out who you are at a deeper level, and then reconstructing you and building you up again but authentically and not as a "character":

(3) 2017 Personality and Its Transformations (watch all these lectures): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL22J3VaeABQApSdW8X71Ihe34eKN6XhCi

(4) https://www.understandmyself.com


(5) https://www.selfauthoring.com


Put in the work with what each material recommends and you'll grow into your true self. And just to let you know, I used to do the same thing and was a character until I unlocked my true being. My sister even said a few years back I had a "different" personality and it freaked her out, but she could tell from my authenticity and happiness that this is the real me now. The previous me was a character, and looking back, a depressed one at that even though I always seemed "happy".

What helped me also besides the introspective journey I recommend above, is talking to strangers. I'd meet people in bars and what not, and this was during a time when I was trying to learn how to meet girls, but an interesting thing happened: I started noticing how I act around people I don't know, and with the pressure gone of who I "should" be, I had the freedom to be who I am.

Another thing that's helping me to this day, is to get into a relationship that loves you for the real you. This comes after you've discovered yourself, but old habits may come up when you don't even realize it, and with my girlfriend she keeps me honest with myself.

Realize that this isn't a light switch, this is a hero's journey towards finding and unlocking who you are as a person, the peeling back the layers as you gain a deeper and deeper understanding of your true self. Change only happens to those that want it, and the fact that you took the time to read all this, and write what you wrote.. that means you want it.

See you on the other side.

This website has a little profile for each plant, you can search either the aliment or the herb. -https://herbpathy.com/. I love to read some of Susun Weeds articles, and she also has a radio show on blog talk that anyone can call to talk to her, she is more women centered in general, but has great information for everyone. http://www.susunweed.com/. Then, here are some books on the subject that can help you make your own herbal medicines- https://www.amazon.com/Male-Herbal-Definitive-Health-Care/dp/1580911757/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510690404&sr=8-1&keywords=the+male+herbal

https://www.amazon.com/Herbal-Medicine-Makers-Handbook-Home-Manual/dp/0895949903/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 - I read this one, and its great.

https://www.amazon.com/Wise-Woman-Herbal-Childbearing-Year/dp/0961462000/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1510690479&sr=1-3&keywords=the+wise+woman+herbal

For those of us who like to explore psychoactives there is this book- https://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Psychoactive-Plants-Ethnopharmacology-Applications/dp/0892819782/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1510690609&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=encycolpedia+of+psychoactives.

I sometimes get books through the public library its a great resource to check out various types books before buying them or if you can't afford to. Some herbs which I have explored, and like are: California Poppy wonderful for anxiety, sleep, and mild pain. Damiana slightly mood uplifting, and great for the reproductive organs, I don't know if it was this herb is entirely to blame for it but my cycle is way more regulated ever since drinking it. Echinacea for colds, and immune support. Skullcap for anxiety. Tumeric, Manjistha (Indian herbs), and pepper together for inflammation, and the blood/skin, black seed Oil, and of course kratom. I have been building my own little medicine cabinet piece by piece playing, and learning along the way. Enjoy! May you discover a new, and amazing journey.

(after typing it seems like I should start with the caveat that what follows is mainly recalled from memory, so don't quote me on the research)

There are certainly similarities, in that awakening has effects on brain activity. For example, I remember reading an article about brain scans on long-term meditators (specifically Tibetan monks that claimed certain attainments that would correlate to what we call awakening here) that could basically shut off their default mode network at will, which is the area associated with identification with the self concept. When they'd intentionally enter other 'modes' of experience, the brain would reflect that.

The obvious difference is the loss of control. Citing my own experience, awakening eliminates the rigid attachment to the personal identity, but the capacity is still there as a perspective. It's just not a limiting perspective.This is very convenient, because without it, functioning in the world would be hard if not impossible.

For example, one may experience states where there is a complete loss of separation to the point they can't draw distinction between their body and someone else's. If they were hungry, they literally wouldn't know where to put food to address that hunger.

To me awakening seems like a natural maturation process, and similar to any other human transition there are balanced and imbalanced versions. Often the imbalanced stories (like someone not knowing where to put food) draw a lot of attention because of the contrast they show to normal experience. They have 'shock value' compared to the balanced version, which seems more mild in comparison.

There are benefits to a mild process (the lack of abruptness gives one time to adapt, which reduces the likelihood of dysfunction), but sometimes abrupt contrasts serve a purpose. A lobotomy would be an example of an abrupt contrast, with the obvious drawback of being relatively final and haphazard. Psychedelics are another example. The psychedelic experience is more controlled, but because the changes in brain chemistry aren't permanent, the effect will eventually fade (the main reason I never found them that attractive personally).

The aims of practices like meditation are similar - to cause changes in brain chemistry - but it's generally more mild and requires a fair amount of time, effort, and commitment, which is the major downside (IMO).

If there were a way to perform something similar to a lobotomy in a controlled and precise manner, it may result in similar benefits of long-term meditative practice without the downsides. The best of both worlds. This still seems a bit far-off though, given the complexity of the brain and our limited knowledge of human consciousness.

Combining meditation with technology (brain scans, etc) in addition to more research into applied psychedelics in a controlled manner seems more promising in the immediate future.

Shinzen Young's book The Science of Enlightenment might be worth reading, if you haven't already. He is currently researching a "God Helmet" which could affect brain states similar to a lobotomy but in a short-term and controlled manner.

How spiritual awakening translates to brain activity is super interesting to me, thanks for a fun post

Sorry for the delayed response. Honestly, after reviewing the book again, I have to say it's actually one of the better ones out there as far as REAL witchcraft goes. Witchcraft is not a religion, and it isn't politically correct. It's simply a set of practical methods to achieve one's goals, whether they be healing, defense, finding love etc. Though some of his ideas at the time are a little dated now, Paul Huson did an excellent job of laying out the principles of effective magick in simple terms. He even touched on elements of Hoodoo i.e. southern African-American folk magick, derived from African, European witchcraft, and Native American practices - see This Website for a thorough introduction to Hoodoo. This book by a real practitioner is also very good, though badly in need of editing.

Now that I've re-read sections of Mastering Witchcraft, I'm almost wishing I'd had it as my first book nearly 30 years ago heh. If you were to study and learn everything Huson's book has to offer, you'll have a better foundation in effective witchcraft than most Wiccan manuals out there today, many of which are extremely watered-down and geared more toward practices that make a person feel good about themselves without requiring much effort, or worse yet, practices that indulge a practitioner's need for attention or escapism. Pay particular attention to what he has to say about states of consciousness. Try to grasp the essence of why/how magick works as you read books such as this. Much of witchcraft/magick/ritual is done for symbolic purposes, with the physical objects/tools being used to focus and direct energy and intent, or as vessels for anchoring energy/intent to. Systems of correspondences help to link levels of reality and act as mental triggers to help re-enter specific states of consciousness.

At its core, magick is a Psychic skill. It is postulated that there are various levels of reality, from Oneness/God/Tao down to the Physical World and various points in between (see Yggdrasil, Tree of Life, Enneads of Plotinus, Plato's theory of forms etc. etc.). The most common forms of Magick work by injecting one's spell/intent into a higher level of reality (Astral Plane, Yesod etc.) in an effort to rewrite or reprogram the reality that is about to manifest. The effects then trickle down into manifestation through seemingly 'natural' means. Other forms involve creating energy links to targets and injecting power/intent through them while using poppets, photos, and other physical objects to help direct and focus the intent. Even more direct forms of influence can be performed through deliberate, conscious real-time energy manipulation, and this can become quite advanced.

Suggested books for developing your energy sensing/directing abilities include Franz Bardon's Initiation into Hermetics (he provides a fantastic though difficult set of exercises for self development) and Robert Bruce's New Energy Ways (ignore the new-agey way he writes - the methods are VERY effective for learning to sense and direct energy). To get ideas of what to do with energy for healing purposes and what energy might 'look like' to clairvoyants (or to you after you develop your clairvoyant skills), this book and this book may be very helpful. Ignore her new-age spin on the material. Her perceptions are pretty accurate.

I should mention that Paul Huson continued to produce useful books, btw. His book on the history of the Tarot is fantastic! There are other authors out there on Witchcraft that are worth perusing, but it is difficult to find authors who don't pander to new age feel-good beliefs. I tend to look for historical or anthropological works. Other areas that can be helpful are related topics such as Norse trancework and Runes (Jan Fries, Edred Thorsson), folk magick from various parts of the world, shamanism, hoodoo, brujeria (there are YouTube channels by serious practitioners of this), Egyptian and Greek religion/magick (again, look for serious scholarly books), and of course, Ceremonial Magick/Hermeticism. The origin of much of European occult terminology can be found in Agrippa's Three Books of Occult Philosophy, published in 1531.

Anyway, I hope that random collection of thoughts gives you some ideas for research. Mastering Witchcraft and similar books published in the 1970s are actually quite good introductions. I recommend absorbing what they have to offer, and looking deeper into the origins of the practices described.

Okay so this isn't complete, and apparently my account is too young (or doesn't have enough karma?) to make a post to the subreddit :(

But here is the original post I constructed to submit:

Hello r/herbalism.

This book list was compiled by a good friend of mine who has been a practicing herbalist for a while now. I thought you might all enjoy this list; it's divided into different sections based on the particular area of study. My friend would also like me to inform you "If anyone should have difficulty locating these books, I've found a website, called bookfinder.com, to be most useful in acquiring these books for a fraction of the price from regular booksellers."

Beginner Herbalism, General

• Rosemary Gladstar's Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide: 33 Healing Herbs to Know, Grow, and Use
  
  
• Making Plant Medicine by Richo Cech
  
  
• Modern Herbal Dispensatory: A Medicine Making Guide
  
  
• Rosemary Gladstar's Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health
  
  
• Herbal Antibiotics: Natural Alternatives for Treating Drug Resistant Bacteria by Stephen Buhner
  
  
• The Herbal Medicine-Maker's Handbook: A Home Manual by James Green
  
  
• Earthwise Herbal Vol I. and Earthwise Herbal Vol. II by Matthew Wood.
  
  
• The Practice of Traditional Western Herbalism: Basic Doctrine, Energetics, and Classification by Matthew Wood
  
  
  
• Rodale's 21st Century Herbal by Michael Balick
  
  
• The Desktop Guide to Herbal Medicine: The Ultimate Multidisciplinary Reference to the Amazing Realm of Healing Plants in a Quick-Study, One-Stop Guide by Brigitte Mars
  
  
  
• The Herbalist's Way: The Art and Practice of Healing with Plant Medicines by Nancy Phillips, Michael Phillips, and Rosemary Gladstar
  
  
  

  Advanced Herbalism
  

  
  

• Medical Herbalism: The Science Principles and Practices Of Herbal Medicine by David Hoffman
  
  
• Adaptogens: Herbs for Strength, Stamina, and Stress Relief by David Winston
  
  
• Edward E Shook's Elementary Treatise in Herbology and Advanced Treatise in Herbology - (In regards to the second, my friend has found a free PDF of the advanced treatise.)
  
  
• The School of Natural Healing: The Reference Volume on Natural Herbs for the Teacher, Student or Herbal Practitioner by John R. Christopher
  
  
• The Complete Herbal Tutor: A Structured Course to Achieve Professional Expertise by Anne McIntyre
  
  

  Pharmacognosy and Phytochemistry (Part of the Advanced Herbalism List)
  

  
  
  

• The Constituents of Medicinal Plants: An Introduction to the Chemistry and Therapeutics of Herbal Medicine by A. Pengally
  
  
• Phytochemistry and Pharmacy for Practitioners of Botanical Medicine by Eric Yarnell
  
  
• Herbal Constituents: Foundations of Phytochemistry by Lisa Ganora
  
  
  

  Medicinal Mycology
  

  
  

• The Fungal Pharmacy: The Complete Guide to Medicinal Mushrooms and Lichens of North America by Robert Rogers
  
  
• Growing Gourmet and Medicinal Mushrooms by Paul Stamets
  
  
  
  

> My posture still isn't the best, but I'm no longer the weakling gamer I was.

That's because nobody knows how to sit, stand, walk, and bend over. I strongly suggest watching this. It helped me a lot with my back pain and I'm talking largely getting rid of 2 years of chronic pain within a week. It's 90 minutes and it's worth it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yYJ4hEYudE

The short version is roll your shoulders back until you find a little groove that kind of locks them in place. Good posture should be effortless. Then tilt your head upwards so to be at eye level. Stick your butt out like you're wagging your tail like a happy dog instead of tucking your pelvis under like a depressed dog. Finally, readjust your weight distribution such that your heels take most of the load, rather than the midfoot. It takes a bit of getting used to and each step leads into the next so practice. This will relieve a lot of tightness in the shoulders and neck.

When you're ready to start walking, walk in a straight line. Don't lumber from side to side. You should have near zero impact load. Practice walking on a line. This will have the nice side effect of giving you a very shapely butt.

Finally, when you bend down, avoid bending your knees and don't curl your back either. Pivot at the hips and keep your knees and back straight. This method of bending strengthens your back (unlike the other two methods and doesn't hurt your joints like knee bending). It's probably impossible right now, but once you start relieving years of tension in your hips due to walking wrong, you'll regain a lot of that ability. Then a bit of stretching and it's easy.

She also has a book if you're interested. It's the best $14 I've ever spent http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605/ref=la_B002NXS2VQ_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415258692&sr=1-1

Yes, but they're not public and are in the hands of powerful sorcerers. Your popular grimoires are relatively harmless. For example, my personal grimoires, containing knowledge given to me by demons, written in magical ink containing blood is quite dangerous. Considering the grimoire is written with a variation of a magical formula, my blood is added to it, and it the ink is enchanted, the grimoire is a talisman in itself where the magic in it was communicated to me by demons where the symbols and formulas reference that knowledge. This means the grimoire contains magical power in itself, but it has a will on its own, so anyone who has it has direct access to the magic, but there is a real risk of demonic possession. Those grimoires stay locked in heavily warded vaults and/or safety deposit boxes. But copies of popular grimoires, like The Lesser Keys of Solomon, are harmless. Yes, there are forbidden and locked away powerful and dangerous books but they're in the custody of powerful magicians. Ones in the public domain, like Abramelins stuff, are signs to knowledge and power but, in themselves, are just copies and are thus magically inert.

Yea, there are magic books out there containing a lot of magical power where all you have to do is do the incantation and stuff happens are a thing, but you won't likely find them because they tend to be rare and heavily secured. I have created volumes myself, but they are all heavily secured, physically and magically.

If you're interested in the history and lore of grimoires, check out:

Grimoires: A History of Magic Books

https://www.amazon.com/Grimoires-History-Magic-Owen-Davies/dp/0199590044

• My overall intention with my all of my podcasts is to learn through engaging conversations with subject matter experts from all different types of domains. I'm not trying to prosthelytize anyone. I happen to find the topics interesting and helpful, and so I share them far and wide for anyone with an open and curious mind.
  
• I'd say astrology is more like a language than a religion.
  
• People turn to astrology to find meaning in their lives when they're facing some sort of existential crisis as to who they are and what they're doing on this planet. Astrology can provide answers to those questions in a way that aren't always found elsewhere. As to whether or not those answers are "true" can't be really answered by anyone at this point other than each individual who did or did not find value in their astrological delineation. Astrology can provide a story and working theory that has the potential to additional context about their meaning and purpose in their lives. If astrological theory can help people align with things that make them feel fulfilled and happy, then it can be a worthwhile and helpful tool. There are plenty of charlatans out there no doubt, but I've met enough professional astrologers to be able to say that they're often some of the most insightful and interesting people I've ever met.
  
• I don't find strength from astrology like one might from Christianity. It's more like looking at a weather prediction, but on a time scale of weeks and months rather than for a single day. Would you go out sailing without looking at the weather? Probably not. Even if it's not 100% accurate, it can get you in the right ballpark as to what to expect and what to prepare for. Outer planet transits of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto to a natal planet will last between a month to 18 months, and tend to carry a certain archetypal potential. I've felt it in my life, and I wrote a web app to be able to take a look at these in other people. My experience and the experience of dozens of others I've talked to personally over the last year is that outer planet transits can have a very distinct quality.
  
• Re: "deleterious to those getting the short end of the stick" - Astrology is not 100% deterministic. But most astrologers recognize that we do not have 100% free will and agency over every aspect of our lives. There are things beyond our control like we can't chose our parents or genetics, etc. So there are some things that are fated. The Hellenistic astrology movement has been bringing back in the perspective of fate into the discussion, and most astrologers realize that life falls somewhere in the middle between what's within our control and what's beyond our control.
  
• Re: "people born in the year of the pig" That's Chinese astrology. I practice Western psychological astrology, which is much more nuanced down to the minute someone one was born looking at their ascendant and midheaven. It also has a more sophisticated system of planets, signs and houses that can also change every couple of hours. Modern psychological astrology is much more complicated than you're portraying it.
  
• "everything in astrology is falsifiable" -- That's a ridiculous statement. I don't know if I'd be comfortable saying that about any topic. I'll falsify your statement with this article about the connection of certain mental disorders that are connected to seasons.
  
  > Many contemporary scientists are loath to admit to anything resembling astrology. “It seems absurd that the month you are born/conceived can affect your future life chances,” write neuroscientists Russell G. Foster and Till Roenneberg in a 2008 study. They then go on to then point out no fewer than 24 different health disorders connected to season of birth, and ultimately admit “despite human isolation from season changes in temperature, food, and photoperiod in the industrialized nations, the seasons still appear to have a small, but significant impact upon when individuals are born and many aspects of health.”
  >
  > The problem may be that there’s no clear underlying mechanism for the observed phenomena. Theories range from levels of maternal vitamin D levels during pregnancy to seasonal viral and bacterial exposure.
  >
  > “We know that there is this weird connection between seasonal birth and certain disorders, but we don’t know why,” says Chris Ciarleglio, a neuroscientist currently working as a postdoctoral fellow at Brown University.
  
  
• "When you have no other means of discovery, you make shit up." -- Some bad astrologers do this. If it doesn't resonate with people, then they'll only go so far as a professional astrologer. Full-time, professional astrologers are grounded in a solid theoretical foundation, but they have personally observed astrological configurations over many years and gotten feedback for how those energies play out.
  
• "But to hold what people randomly made up as true" Astrology is an oral tradition of observation, and involves each archetypal complex is composed of many different facets like a diamond. These sets of correspondences have survived over 2000 years because they continue to find resonance in people's lives. But I wouldn't characterize that evolution of astrological correspondences as "random."
  
• "which has since been falsified by modern science is just plain odd" -- It's true that astrology doesn't follow the practices of most items on this checklist as to whether or not Astrology is scientific. There is a lack of rigor within the astrological community that people like Richard Tarnas has lectured about. But again, I would recommend checking into the work of Tarnas who has studied astrology for over 30 years and wrote a philosophical history of western thinking BECAUSE he found validity in astrology and wanted to write a book about the correlations between outer planet synodic cycles and patterns of culture. But he needed to trace how neo-Platonic thought lost favor since the Enlightenment period in an academic book called "The Passion of the Western Mind" that's used in college philosophy courses across the country. Tarnas is on the bleeding edge of cosmological thinking and argues that astrology is starting to point towards a new worldview within his epic Cosmos and Psyche. I think if you have an open mind and can read through those two books, then he provides the philosophical foundations and evidence for why astrology is relevant and worth consideration.

Raziel is probably most famous for the book he gave to Adam. There are many versions of the story, including one where angels steal the book back from Adam out of jealousy. It supposedly passed through the hands of Enoch, Noah, and Solomon, inspiring the Book of Enoch, teaching Noah how to build the Ark, and granting Solomon great knowledge and power in magic respectively. Source

The origin of this story is pretty interesting: "The myth of the Book of Raziel grows out of a midrash attempting to explain the verse, This is the book of the generations of Adam (Gen. 5:1)." Source, also a good read

Raziel is mentioned in Targum Ecclesiastes 10:20 - "Do not speak evil of the king in thy conscience, nor in the secret of thy heart, nor in the most hidden place in thy house, curse not a wise man; for Raziel calls daily from heaven upon Mount Horeb, and his voice goes through the whole world; and Elijah, the great priest, goes, flying through the air like a winged eagle, and publishes the words which are spoken in secret by all the inhabitants of the earth." The Targumim are pretty old - they date back to the 1st to 7th centuries. This page offers an interesting theory about Raziel's early role in Jewish mysticism - not as the keeper of secrets but rather the revealer.

According to Maimonides (1135-1204) in his Mishneh Torah, Raziel is the chief of the order of Erelim, also the herald of God and preceptor of Adam.

Now, there is a 13th century medieval grimoire known as "Sefer Raziel HaMalakh". The true author is unknown, but it's commonly attributed to Eleazer of Worms or Isaac the Blind, medieval writers of the time. It draws heavily on Sefer Yetzirah and Sefer Ha-Razim, the former being the oldest and probably the most important Qabalistic text.

As for the Sefer Raziel itself, you can read it online here. Steve Savedow's translation is unfortunately not great, the amazon reviews sort of speak for themselves, but it's better than nothing. You may find something interesting there.

tl;dr Raziel is a very old and important angel, considering he derives from Genesis 5:1. If you are trying to connect to angels in a Qabalistic context, I'd highly recommend starting with the books they originated from, like Sefer Raziel and its predecessors. Hope this helps.

This was a struggle for me for a long time. I was not vegan (junk food or otherwise) when I started WFPB.


What really helped was focusing on the health of eating. I stopped looking at my diet change as being related to weight loss, and simply focused on eating healthy, oil-free, whole food vegan meals. You can try slightly limiting fats, but I haven't really needed to. I was not very strict and still lost more weight than I ever did counting calories

​

I follow WFPB, and couldn't follow anything that didn't allow grains, potatoes and soy products. Tempeh and Tofu are minimally processed, and pretty ok by most standards. Don't cut grains. Cut anything that isn't a whole grain. Don't cut avocado, but limit it to a quarter fruit per day, etc.

​

You mention that realizing you CAN eat what you want was a big deal for the mental side of things. It really helped me to switch from saying "No, I can't have X" to "I don't eat X anymore". Because it is your CHOICE.

Also - Don't cut sugar if it sets you up for failure, but consider quality. Eat fruit, and dates stuffed with peanut butter for treats. (Sounds like you've already figured this out).

From what you say diet-wise, I'd say you're in a good spot for the most part. Cutting down on flour-based items like bread and muffins could help. Do the muffins and pancakes contain sugar? Are you topping with lots of syrup? Another thing that can be rough is eating out. Even seemingly healthy items can be very calorie dense.

​

Something I ask myself about each ingredient I consume is "What does this offer me nutritionally?"

If it's coconut sugar, maple syrup or soy sauce, the answer is "Not much" and I limit those things.


Some resources that helped me IMMENSELY:

This Blog helped immensely. - They also have an amazing FB group for support, and a new "lighten up" weight loss program.

The Pleasure Trap - By Dr. Lisle

Chef AJ has great YouTube videos that focus on BED

If you liked that article, you would enjoy reading The Pleasure Trap:

https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Trap-Mastering-Undermines-Happiness/dp/1570671974

Another excellent book is "Potatoes not Prozac":

https://www.amazon.com/Potatoes-Not-Prozac-Solutions-Sensitivity/dp/141655615X

That one is especially interesting not just because of the sugar addiction aspect, but because of the sources of sugar & how it affects you. The five major groups of sugar being refined sugar (goodies & treats), bread (=sugar), pasta (=sugar), alcohol (=sugar + alcohol buzz...alcoholics are really just sugarholics but with a bonus addiction trap), and, separately from the book, cigarettes (=huge amounts of sugar in each cig). Sugar is so addictive that they actually add it to cigarettes to keep you addicted (think about it...do you know anyone who is addicted to nicotine gum or nicotine patches?).

Anyway, my current favorite method for eating for results is IIFYM. In the past, I've tried out pretty much every diet out there...paleo, vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, fruitarian, you name it. The basic idea of IIFYM ("if it fits your macros") is that (1) the only way to lose weight is through calorie reduction (not clean eating, not meal timing, not intermittent fasting, no supplements, no special gobblygook required), (2) your body needs certain amounts of fuel every day (protein, carbs, and fat are the 3 macros), and (3) you can choose what you want to eat, as long as it fits your macros for the day, to get great physical results. So you can lose weight and get ripped (coupled with a good calisthenics or weightlifting program, of course) while eating whatever you want. Donuts, ice cream, etc. are all okay.

Obviously the healthier food you eat the better, but I no longer have specific cheat days or cheat meals...every meal is a cheat meal if I want it to be. Psychologically, it's a lot better because things like "cheat" meals/days implies that certain foods are good or bad and that you should feel bad for eating them. Look up "Abs and ice cream" on Youtube to watch a guy get abs while eating a pint of ice cream every day. I like IIFYM a lot better than anything else, especially "eating clean", because boy oh boy does eating broccoli, chicken, and plain oatmeal every day get boring lol.

In my opinion, Western philosophy is almost entirely useless and impractical for understanding altered states of consciousness because it has no interest in truth beyond language. Western philosophers are obsessed with words, with concepts - so obsessed, indeed, that the mere idea of looking beyond them has never crossed their minds for more than a second. The best you can do with Western philosophy is Aldous Huxley. His most famous work that deals directly with psychedelics and states of consciousness beyond language is The Doors of Perception. But his Perennial Philosophy may be even better as far as deep philosophy goes. Plus, it blends together teachings from West and East into one coherent whole.

If you are interested in intellectually digesting a psychedelic experience, you really need some eastern philosophy. The best of the best, the crown jewel, is the Bhagavad Gita. Also look into the Buddha's life and teachings, for digesting enlightenment is very similar to digesting a psychedelic experience. My recommendation here is the Dhammapada. This is less spiritual, more intellectual than the Gita, and the copy I linked has a beautifully written introduction on the Buddha's life and his own dealing with enlightenment. If you are spiritually inclined, start with the Gita. If you are more intellectually inclined, I would start with Huxley or the Dhammapada. Either will help you process a psychedelic experience in a way that mainstream Western philosophy could never match.

A great primer for the core tenets and historical context is "What The Buddha Taught" by Walpola Pahula. It provides a wonderful explanation of the thought process and is very clearly written; a lot of colleges use it in their comparative religion courses.

I also think that reading the "Dhammapada" is particularly vital. I prefer the Eknath Easwaran translation; I feel like he did an excellent job translating it into modern laguage while retaining the meaning of the text and providing excellent discussions of each sutra without being to neurotically overbearing, like so many religious commentaries can be. He also did excellent versions of the Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads if you are interested in broader Indian spirituality.

One of the oldest and most fundamental books for students of the Kabbalah is the Sepher Yetzirah. This text has literally been used for centuries by Jewish mystics, and it was one of the primary sources for the Kabbalistic elements of modern western occultists (e.g. the Golden Dawn and affiliated individuals like Crowley, Case, Waite, etc.). You can't go wrong with any of the books listed thus far -- Duquette, for example, is a great author -- but they are all second hand accounts of Kabbalistic sources like the Sepher Yetzirah.

One of the best modern versions of the Sepher Yetzirah is by Rabbi Kaplan. His book has received praise by both students of the occult and the Kabbalah. It has everything you are looking for (e.g. the cube of space is discussed in 5:2 on page 203) and more (e.g. gematria, the 231 gates, astrological associations, anatomical associations, planetary rulers and their seals, etc.). On top of that, you should be able to find a free PDF version online with a little Googling, but it's so comprehensive that it's worth having a physical copy.

As far as I'm aware he works with energy beings he calls "guides" that are among us in some way. He calls on them mentally/spiritually to share their energy, and he serves as the bridge connecting you to the energy. Not very sure of the origin of the practice. It does involve a bit of being chosen by the guides but I'm not sure about the exclusivity. He does have children, and also some students he informally teaches to connect his way. Don't know where he started from yet.

Practices generally involve the patient standing with eyes closed while he stands by arms wide open. Next thing you know he takes a deep breath and exhales and you're spinning/twirling like a top involuntarily and your hands want to come up as if under water. If you don't twirl the force of the energy will make you fall over. This process connects you to the universe/guides opening up your crown. Always makes you giggly because the energy comes as a shock as it pushes you.

Then he will have you lie on your back and he'll place his hand on your head. His hands gets very hot as he guides you through a meditative journey to receive the energy you need. Meanwhile you see bright colors while eyes closed and you feel like you are radiating with energy/light. It feels amazing and your mood improves dramatically as your physical pain fades away. This practice may be different in some cases with specific illnesses.

Look up "subtle energy" and this book called "Hands of Light" both his suggestions. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0553345397?pc_redir=1404445078&robot_redir=1

you might find value in Rosemary Gladstar's books on medicinal herbs. There are a few that might be of interest to you. medicinal herbs for beginners, 175 herbal recipes for vibrant health, herbs for stress and anxiety, and family herbal are a few good ones to look into.

In the related listings I found several other great titles with good reviews on them. Among them, there was the herbal apothecary, the complete medicinal herbal, and the herbal medicine maker's handbook

I would also suggest James Wong, an ethnobotanist. He has a series that was on the bbc about using plants to make medicinal items. It was on youtube for a bit but is no longer there in its entirety. He does have a book on the series, though-
grow your own drugs. A sequel with more recipes can be found here- a year with james wong.

I also find that many sustainable living, foraging, and related sites tend to have good recipes you can sort through. here are a few of the ones i have saved.

mother earth news- make your own herbal teas

wolf college resources

https://arcadianabe.blogspot.ca/

http://www.eattheweeds.com/archive/


lastly, a basic google search for "herbal remedies" brought me a few websites that look promising.

mother earth news- herbs for ailments and wounds

botanical.com has a few resources for recipe and information about plants, but it is more limited than i would like.

the family herbalist looks very promising.

there are probably a ton more out there, but i hope that some of these or the terms they use can help you find what you are looking for.

I find it very good to read both original texts as well as modern teachers.

For example, Thanissaro Bhikkhu is one of the worlds foremost translators of Pali texts, considered the most original sources for what the Buddha said and did. One of my favorites from him is Wings to Awakening, in e-format here, but you can get it directly from his monastery, The Metta Forrest Monastery.

In just that book's introduction he gives a basic background of the Buddha and popular beliefs of that time. This helps me understand the context of why the Buddha emphasized what he emphasized. If you've ever read the Majjhima Nikaya's Dog Duty Ascetic it's obvious that to me, at least, in the US, and most in Western cultures, there is no context in my experience to understand why the Buddha would even talk like that.

More popular writers, such as Joseph Goldstein and Mindfulness where he discusses the Sattipatthana Sutta at length, give me insights into the sutta that may not have occured to me on my own.

Then, reading some of Robert Thurmon's works, I can begin to understand some of the Tibetan perspective on the Buddha's teachings. I am strongly rooted in the Theravada practices of Vipassana, and to learn more about other facets of Buddhism enriches my understanding.

Very basically, others can help me understand the Buddha through their modern perspectives on his teaching and life. I'm ever so grateful for their writings, talks, and any meditation courses or retreats they may offer.

May we receive all blessings.

Wow, that all sounds super rough. Kudos to you for dealing with it while pregnant!

My story is nowhere near as extreme as yours, but I've had success with the GAPS diet and wanted to tell you about it, in case you hadn't heard of it before. My mother has Crohn's, which puts me at higher risk as well. I've always had a sensitive digestive system, and about a year ago I stopped taking BC after finding out it can trigger or exacerbate Crohn's, especially in people who are already high risk. At this stage I wasn't super sick, but I was having mild issues, and was beginning to get random joint pain. It was obvious to me I was working my way towards having the full blown symptoms my mom has.

Around the same time, I stumbled across a blog talking about the GAPS diet, which is actually very similar to the AIP. The point of GAPS, in a nutshell, is to eat only easy to digest foods and supplement with probiotics - this allows the gut to heal, and re-establishes proper bacteria. The diet is designed to last for 1.5-2 years, after which your system is supposed to be healed and can handle normal foods again. Although, it's expected you won't go back to the standard American diet of tons of sugar and processed foods.

Personally, I've been on it for about a year now. My joint pain cleared up in the first month or two, and other random symptoms have also disappeared. I was somewhat lucky, in that I didn't have an extreme case yet, and that the bacterial imbalance I had happened to be rather well studied. Turns out I have an overbalance of histamine-producing bacteria, which can cause severe allergies, bad PMS, and migraines, among other things. My PMS cleared up in about 3 months after starting, and I've had very few issues with allergies this spring where I typically am completely miserable and end up with sinus infections. And so far, no migraines, although they only came 1-2x per year.

You would have to make the decision for yourself if you think GAPS would work for you. The chance to be healed was a huge motivator for me, and I think your previous success with AIP is a good sign as well. The full GAPS diet is fine for pregnant or breastfeeding women, although you have to be careful to get enough fats/energy. Here's the link for the book on amazon, although I'd recommend getting it from a library first.

I hope you are able to figure out the best way to manage your UC, and let me know if you have any questions!

I love that this information is being shared and accessible to individuals that need it. My only gripe after reviewing the article is that the author is just describing tenants of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Which is great, but I see no mention of the source material, or citing of where the information originated.

For those interested, here is a great book on CBT:

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavior-Therapy-Second-Basics/dp/1609185048/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1451823143&sr=8-5&keywords=CBT+books

For those that would like free online resources here is a great website:

http://www.get.gg/

Good points. The water fasting is not my specialty, but I know a little bit about it and have done a few. I did an internship (rather than visited as a patient) at TrueNorth years back when in medical school. It's not going to appeal or be appropriate for everyone, but it does seem to be effective, especially for some conditions with a strong inflammatory component like Rheumatoid arthritis, large blood pressure drops (perhaps no surprise there) and Lupus. You have to have a bit of basic knowledge before embarking on something like that. It's still to gain widespread acceptance within the mainstream, but there is a growing evidence basis for it.

If you are thinking of water fasting I'd suggest going to TrueNorth, reading the Pleasure Trap, or Fasting and Eating for Health.

I think a retreat, whether zen sesshin or vipassina is extremely helpful and for many people (such as Sam Harris) even if they do 1 hour a day, it is during a retreat where they first begin to understand how to actually meditate.


Also committing to meditate at specific times, especially when I don't want to has been really helpful in terms of continuity and momentum in my practice.


This book helped me more than any podcast, video, dharma talk, or reading material I found prior. I can think of many ways why that is the case but mostly in how he talks about meditation in a way I've not heard anyone else do. I'll post the book description below the link.

https://www.amazon.com/Science-Enlightenment-How-Meditation-Works/dp/1591794609
merges scientific clarity, a rare grasp of source-language teachings East and West, and a gift for sparking insight through unexpected analogies, illustrations, humor, and firsthand accounts that reveal the inner journey to be as wondrous as any geographical expedition. Join him here to explore:
Universal insights spanning Buddhism, Christian and Jewish mysticism, shamanism, the yogas of India, and many other paths
How to begin and navigate your own meditation practice
Concentration, clarity, and equanimity—the core catalysts of awakening
Impermanence—its many aspects and how to work with them
Experiencing the “wave” and “particle” natures of self
Purification and clarification—how we digest mental blockages and habits through inner work
Emerging neuroscience research, the future of enlightenment, and much more
For meditators of all levels and beliefs—especially those who think they’ve heard it all—this many-faceted gem will be sure to surprise, provoke, illuminate, and inspire.

Working out is a great way to improve your back pain. The benefits of movement combined with improved strength and balance that yoga provides will help loads.

For yoga, my first recommendation would be to attend classes in real life. Instructors know that people come to them at varying fitness and experience levels, as well as varying body sizes, and they will happily demonstrate modifications to moves if you are inflexible, suffer back pain, or have trouble with any poses.

If you're going to stick with home yoga, Megan Garcia's Just My Size Yoga is pretty good. I'm not well-versed in YouTube yoga videos. I've tried lots of them but loved none, and I just keep going back to by IRL yoga classes.

Just walking and getting your blood pumping is also good for aches and pains. Consider adding some basic cardio.

And here is a really neat book with gentle stretches and posture improvements for your back.

I hear you. I like to explore philosophy with a number of teachers in the lineage; one of my favorite weekend workshops was with Harmony Slater. She’s a joy and a wealth of knowledge.

I am lucky that I get to practice with Eddie. I may be a bit biased, but I really don’t know of any other books that so succinctly ties it all together at the right level of information blending both Eastern and Western schools of thought.

Book recos:

Here is my favorite translation of the Bhagavad Gita.

I also really like this interpretation of the Yamas and Niyamas.

And my favorite Yoga Sutras.

The closest I can think of in terms of modern day explanations is the Yamas and Niyamas book by Deborah Adele. It really is a nice, practical read.

I feel like I have had issues like yours for a long time. I have found posture work has helped with my issues.
http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605
I have also found yoga and pilates to be helpful. Yoga has varied with me, vinyasa style was not as helpful as a slower paced, breath and alignment centered style of yoga like hatha, and I was lucky in finding the right teacher for that.
I tried rolfing, and although it's expensive, it does work, and it feels so good.
Chiropractic has helped at times. The most helpful has been finding a skilled massage therapist and doing a 60 minute massage once a month or so. In my opinion that is probably your best option, a good massage therapist would be able to target your problem area and release it.
I just found a tight muscle on me called the sartorious, and it does get tight from a lot of sitting, and driving, and it pulls on the pelvis and makes it imbalanced, so I've been focusing on rolling that out.
I have found a deep lunge also helps, like this, you probably do similar to stretch the psoas, rocking in and out of it from a high to low position feels really good. http://www.shaktivinyasa.com/SHAKTI_Images/Lisa-Black-Deep-Backbend.jpg

Oh, I wanna try too:
>Are there different "branches" of Buddhism, sort of like in Christianity?

• The Schools of Buddhism
  
• Differences between the schools
  
  >Who was The Buddha?
  
  
• PBS documentary on The Buddha
  
• BBC documentary on The Buddha
  
• Buddha Nature
  
  > why is there prayer in Buddhism? How is Buddhist prayer different than, say, Christian and Islamic prayer?
  
  
• IIRC only a few sects actually 'pray' in the classical sense, otherwise it's simply paying homage; showing respect, saying thanks.
  
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puja_(Buddhism)
  
• Paying Homage
  
  >Do Buddhists go to temples on a certain day of the week like Christians? Is there a ritualistic process on what is done each day?
  
  
• This depends on the hours your local temple/center holds. However there are 'typical hours', once in the 'morning', once in the 'afternoon', and once in the 'evening'.
  
• Ritualistic processes will depend upon the culture of the school of Buddhism you subscribe to.
  
  > If I call my local Buddhist temple or meditation center, would someone there be willing to talk to me over the phone and introduce me in real life to what Buddhism is?
  
  
• They may be busy, and ask you to come back later.
  
• Some zen schools will turn you away outright to test your resolve. (This is wrong, see /u/Gundi9's comment bellow.)
  
  > Basically, I would really appreciate it if you could explain to me what Buddhism means to you, what your daily Buddhist lifestyle is, and how it affects you.
  
  
• I meditate, keep the 4 noble truths at the forefront of my attention and make a concerted effort to stay on the 8 fold path.
  
  Also, here are some books:
  
  
• The Dhammapada
  
• The Dhammapada is so ubiquitous i'm certain you can find versions of it online for free.
  
• The 8 Fold Path
  
• Also, see our sidebar, it says things I didn't, and probably says the things I did say so much more gooderbetter.
  
  TADA!
  
  

I pick and choose from a lot of ancient spiritual practices. Hinduism is one that really resonates with me though. I started with reading the Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads. Both considered to be amongst the core texts of Hinduism.

For the Bhagavad Gita, a very beautiful and easy to read version is Stephen Mitchell's translation.

For the Upanishads, the version I like best is Juan Mascaro's translation.

Wishing you peace and love on your journey.


🙏 Namaste 🙏

I think you are doing excellent. Even the $40 per month for a gym membership isn't bad since it keeps you healthy.

I think embracing cooking could help you cut the eating out budget if you are able to make more of your own meals and enjoy them.

Do you have a friend who loves to cook and needs money? Perhaps you could have them make you some dishes and freeze them to save money. Or you could get together with friends and do big casseroles, chili, soups etc and share.

I also have eating problems (achalasia - not like yours) so I understand issues around needing to find foods that work.

Here is an interesting book that might assist with some of your food issues. Ignore that it talks about autism - it is a great book about why many of our health problems are based on our unhealth guts.

Stretching isn't actually quite the right thing to deal with a muscle already knotted up to the point it's causing a headache. Those are caused by trigger points, or "knots", and stretching doesn't get rid of them, but intense, focused massage does. Check this out - The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook - the book is based on a brilliant medical tome written by the doctors who discovered trigger points (one of whom was JFK's personal physician) interpreted for laymen and written from the perspective of how to do the trigger point therapy on yourself and it's absolutely fantastic. I can completely fix (actually fix, not mask) most of my friends' tension headaches in under two minutes now, and I literally buy cases of the above book to give away to people. Read the Amazon reviews and give it a shot; you'll thank yourself almost immediately.

Will do! This one'll be a five-day residential retreat, and have a seven-day one coming up in April. Both are are Cloud Mountain, where I went on a short four-day retreat last November. Great center in the forests of WA state. Hoping there'll still be snow to trape around in.

The practice will be Mahasi-style insight for both retreats. Lots of noting. Won't get the schedule until I'm there, but imagining it will be 45-minute to hour-long sits with shorter walking practice periods between each sit. The teachers for both retreats worked on Mahasi's Manual of Insight (re)publication that came out last year. Steve Armstrong, the editor of the Manual of Insight, will be teaching the second retreat, and his colleague from the same sangha, Kamala Masters, will be teaching the immediately upcoming one.

Would love to do longer retreats but the wife wants me to save some vacation days for actual vacations. :)

The Dalai Lama has many excellent books on Tibetan Buddhism, my favorites are How To Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life and Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life.

 

Lama Surya Das, Traleg Kyabgon, and Thubten Chodron all have excellent introductions written from a Tibetan perspective as well.

Thanks for the reply. That definitely helps clarify what I've experienced, I can't say I fully understand it at the moment but it will be great to know if/when I achieve it again. I'll look into Reggie Ray, there are some concepts in his book that seem really interesting. I'm currently making my way through [this book] (http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-A-Practical-Guide-Awakening/dp/162203063X) which is providing a lot of insight.

> In particular, the body could perhaps be seen as a kind of inverted fractal image of all of space.

Being interested in Maths, this sounds very interesting, is this something you've read or from your own experiences?

First, RESPECT, for working with the dying and grieving. That is profound, and highly important work.

To reiterate other's here, you don't sound 'crazy', only opening to something that had value and an accepted place in antiquity and pre-modern societies (arguably it does now also, but not necessarily through any official institutions, it still seems to be a fringe activity and 'gift' not accepted by the sciences).

A starting point to placing your inner experiences into a broader context, which may help with self-understanding and integration through the process, might be:
Channeling. There are numerous other texts of similar material around. Check them out?

As to matters of grounding, other's advice here seems sound.
A somatic practice might prove helpful, like hatha yoga, or perhaps continuing meditation but practicing it in a different way, seeing as you are already meditating? Anapanasati, how to practice breath meditation, which focuses on the breath and thus has more of a grounding and bodily based attention brought to the process could be useful in this context. I've personally had trouble with dissociation and found sitting with a piece of obsidian and/or black tourmaline held in both my hands while sitting cross-legged or lying flat on my back, and focusing into the stone with my mind while being mindful to both my breath and body a helpful way of grounding and generating containment in/as my body.

Although the following book is primarily about working with energy healing it discusses channeling and contains diagrams of exercises that help a practitioner working with subtle forces to stay grounded and balanced, it might also be worth your time Hands of Light.
Salutations!

Morthy's:
most oh god, I would never be seen with this in public - books list

most phallic SFW (but it's way too expensive)

Akeleie's:

most geeky I guess?

item which would most help you achieve a goal (want to start running, but I can't do it without music...I've tried) - default list

Best item to bring on a deserted island, assuming the island has a cd player - cds list

Thanks for the awesome contest!

Hey - keep your head up, you can get this thing fixed. I'm in my late thirties and have had two herniated discs (first around 15 years ago). I am an ultrarunner, and what's worked for me is balancing out my miles with yoga (Yin specifically) and strength training. Specifically for keeping the back in good shape, I highly recommend Foundation. I noticed a difference almost immediately after beginning these exercises (no weights involved). Also, for a general understanding of how the back works and how you can keep it healthy, I recommend Gokhale's 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back. Really good guidance on posture, sitting, sleeping, etc. Good luck.

GSE can condense several skills into one button, but you're still going to be mashing that one button to do anything, and it's a dumb macro - you can only tell it to randomly cast things, cast things in a certain order, or cast certain skills more in a random order (as far as I can recall, I haven't used it in a while). It won't be as good as having everything keybinded and properly doing your rotation, but it can do the job for easier content.

If your fingers are hurting after a keyboard smashing session, then chances are it's not your fingers, but the forearm muscles on the other end that control the tendons that control your fingers. I think you'll find that your forearm extensor (pull fingers up) and flexor (pull fingers down) muscles (typically the "digitorum" muscles) are quite overworked and need some therapy to keep them happy. The cheapest therapy is a ball against a wall, along with some stretching and ideally strengthening exercises. I found the Trigger Point Therapy Workbook to be an excellent guide on how to eliminate this discomfort, but it can also be a good idea to get a medical opinion before going it alone to rule out anything more serious.

Hi,

The method of this one retreat was Mahasi
https://www.amazon.com/Manual-Insight-Mahasi-Sayadaw/dp/1614292779

The method induces stages of insight as with any other Vipassana technique
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html

It leads to Nibbanna(cessation), which happened to me on this and several other methods. It won't make sense unless you experienced it because the mind will try to conceptualize it.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html#ch7

****

Vipassana is one method of leading to cessation. As with lying down it does not necessarily lead to passivity. If you’re already passive/sleepy it doesn’t matter what posture you're in.

The tendency to experience fullness is probably because lying down is associated with sleep.

Though the best way to understand any technique is to go to a retreat. To limit meditation to a posture is limiting oneself.

These are the ones that I've done and they have all mentioned lying down as an appropriate form of practice. However, if you find yourself falling asleep you can sit, stand, or walk. The goal is not to fall asleep or do dream yoga.

Mahasi - look up manual of insight with his name.
same with Goenka but this time the mind settled on one object for an hour without wondering. I did not make this happen. It happened on its own.

Goenka - during one retreat as I lay down I continued the practice. the mind was awake, calm, and relaxed. It was was aware as the physical system shutdown and went into a deep sleep as well as went it came back online. Awareness was there the whole time. Awareness is not thinking or identification with anything per say.

U Tejanyia - experience Samadhi during lunch and at work after a retreat.

Shinzen Young - the system was very open and emotional arisings were experienced flowing through the body like electricity.


Again the lying down does not necessarily induce sleepiness. But if awareness is strong one can be very present with the sleepiness and watch how it changes. How it changes into a clear and awake mind. Having goals or how meditation should be is limited and goal-oriented.

I would prefer to be in a meditative state in any posture/condition then limiting it to any one posture. Look up Vipassana and Tibetan (Reginald Ray) practices. The problem is that a lot it is a bit watered down and if not done consistently enough the purification process is not experienced.

There's a lot of good info here too: dharmaoverground.org

Probably not what you were looking for, but that kind of mindset is exactly what Buddhists train to eradicate through meditation. I'm reading Awakening the Buddha Within: Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World right now, and it breaks Buddhism down into everyday language really nicely. A lot of it is about abandoning recognition or validation from the outside world, and keeping a perspective on what's important - including appreciating yourself and what you have. Great read, and might help guide you on your own path to self-improvement, Buddhist or not :)

Hi!

I used to get massages by a PT as well, and the type of massage that worked best for my pain was a deep tissue trigger point massage, which I believe is similar to the massage you've said is effective for you. As you mentioned, that easily becomes expensive, but my neurologist turned me on to a much cheaper solution. I do home massage therapy on myself using a Theracane and workbook and get the same benefits I was getting from having the massage done to me by a PT. I'm posting this from mobile so pls message me if links don't work. This way I can also get exactly the relief I want where I want it and most importantly when I want it.

That's a really good point! I have both, but I'm not 100% clear on the difference either, to be honest (I should probably ask for clarification next time...). However, OP, you should definitely ask the doctor you like about myofascial pain syndrome. Also, take a look at the Trigger Point Workbook (Davies and Davies). It's totally harmless and may provide you with a lot of relief. It's been great for my enormous, rock-hard knots, and I was even able to help my husband with his neck pain.

http://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942

Wrote this to another person in here too, but i'll write it in case you don't see that.
I have read that many people with Crohn's disease have had a really good experience with following the GAPS diet, you should look into the diet if you don't know about it already, peoples stories of how much it's helped them, seem quite convincing, there's a lot of material online on it, and also a book if you want it in paper form.
Link to a homepage concerning it (there's many): http://www.gapsdiet.com/Home_Page.html
You can also read reviews on e.g. amazon about the book.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gut-Psychology-Syndrome-Depression-Schizophrenia/product-reviews/0954852028/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
You don't need to buy the book to follow the diet, but i'd say read about the diet, its definitely worth a shot if it can help your condition on long term.

I initially followed the principles of Stoicism, which is a philosophy that's very close to the principles of CBT. So my first resource was /r/Stoicism, where you can find things like this and this that have direct correlation with CBT principles. Greek and Roman literature might be hard to get into, but there are very readable translations and the principles are applicable.

Of course, not everyone is interested in philosophy, so my recommendation would be to find something along the lines of Judith Beck's Cognitive Therapy, or other similar resources that are based on research. I can't really recommend else because I haven't read much from other authors.

But in general I would recommend reading about cognitive biases in general, along the lines of this, this, this, or this. Being conscious of how everybody thinks might help you see some negative spirals in your life, and can help you change the environment that might lead you to that negativity.

But again, professional help can be very useful, so definitely consult a professional who is maybe better for you. Good luck!

The GAPS diet is a great resource/starting place. Stands for Gut and Psychology Syndrome.
It's like Paleo on steroids. I have a number of friends who have had great success with this diet, as well as the Candida Diet & Paleo (obviously).

https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Syndrome-D-D-D-H-D-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028

That really sucks man. It's so easy to overdo some things so easily. Currently I'm battling my own shoulder tendonosis, fairly effectively.. lately I've gone the shotgun approach of throwing a bunch of treatments at it and whichever one works, great. The current regimen is...


-Adding Glucosamine/Chrondroitin/MSM (1500mg of GlucChron, 1500mg MSM....) to my daily men's vitamin

-Doubling up my fishoil intake

-Prescribed Prednisolone ( 84mg for the total "pack".. started out at 24mg/day, 20mg, 16mg, 12mg, 8mg, 4mg... currently on the second to last day)

-Previously prescribed meloxicam 15mg daily (arthritis antiinflammatory... wasn't prescribed with my prednisolone though, shoulda asked the doc about this. I take it before workouts. I'll text my dr. friend and ask her later about doubling up on this and prednisolone)

-penetrex - an anti inflammatory cream... i hadn't heard about traumeel, and though i steer clear of homeopathic medicines... the reviews on amazon are pretty outstanding... i'll look into that

-trigger point therapy... while i've concentrated a lot on the shoulder complex, yours is a little different. my bible is the Trigger Point Therapy Workbook.... it's awesome and I'd suggest everyone buy a copy. I went and copied (likely) the relevant pages for you.. Starting with the tricep section, which also referenced other muscles to check for trigger points, and branching out from there. It's a bit more targeted of an approach than plain SMR and may zero you in on some problem areas.


Tricep page 1
http://i.imgur.com/efZViA1.jpg

Tricep page 2
http://i.imgur.com/dHXwHzD.jpg

Teres Major / Latissimus Dorsi
http://i.imgur.com/de93PsR.jpg

Serratus Anterior page 1
http://i.imgur.com/XB6BBLD.jpg

Serratus Anterior page 2
http://i.imgur.com/NHFgJo0.jpg


If it helps you, strongly consider buying it. It's a fantastic resource. And it's like $14 with Prime shipping. http://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942/


-Lastly... and most importantly, rest. I've pulled back on a ton of shoulder training and stress to give myself some time to heal. It's been hard, but my shoulder last night has felt stronger than it has in over a month. Hopefully I don't get overly eager and get it aggravated before it's ready for a full workload.

Good luck man, injuries suck.

edit : sorry for the formatting guys.

Harsh truth: That weight on that height is obese. Women undervalue how servere being overweight has an effect on their attractiveness. It's a big deal to men. Much bigger than women think.




Just lose the weight and get healthy. Make a lifestyle change to eat clean at appropriate amounts and exercise regularly. Cut ALL sugar, limit alcohol don't snack and eat clean at least 6 days a week. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.



"Nun mode" or Dating or whatever you do with your time do it if you want, don't if you want. Just keep in mind if you do date your SMV will be far lower than it could be and the type of guys who you attract (for a pair bonding, not pump and dumb) will be of that SMV.

Your depression and anxiety is caused, respectively by not having a realistic chance and very slim chance at achieving your goals. It's an evolutionary alarm to focus your energy into DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Bad feelings are lessened by your new job and move. Congratulations! Now fix your SMV, eat well, join a GYM (and GO 3x/week) , run (on days with no gym/sports activities), join a sports club and the good feelings you got from your job and move will seem tiny. Do it, commit. You can do much better. I believe in you. But time is ticking. The costs to your current lifestyle are higher than you think. The benefits of changing are immensely greater than you could imagine.

Here's a good book on why you "depression eat" and how to deal with it, if you like to read.
https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Trap-Mastering-Undermines-Happiness/dp/1570671974

I think the Buddhist principle you're thinking of is satipatthana, the Four Foundations of Mindfulness or Four Ways of Establishing Mindfulness. This is a super important practice in Theravada Buddhism and the basis for the modern vipassana movement.

The Four Foundations are (1) mindfulness of body, (2) mindfulness of vedana (pleasantness, unpleasantness, or neutralness, sometimes called "feeling" or "feeling tone"), (3) mindfulness of mind (referring to the presence or absence of various mental states), and (4) mindfulness of dhammas (a sort of catch-all covering a huge range of phenomena discussed in the Buddha's teachings).

You can read an English translation of the original Buddhist scripture on this topic, the Satipatthana Sutta, here. I also recommend Joseph Goldstein's new-ish book, Mindfulness, which is a rich and comprehensive exploration of the whole body of Theravada-style Buddhist practice, with an emphasis on meditation practice, through the lens of the Satipatthana Sutta.

Glad you've got another teacher. Sometimes, when a situation is complex and has many different tendrils tugging at me (past, future, personal challenges, aspirations, questions, etc) I like to boil it down so as not to get mired in the muck. With that, I'd offer this: You went to a place where the style of teaching/approach didn't gel with you at this time. So you move on, no worries. If you want to study Mahayana at another time, you can. And if you wanted to even go back to the same place, perhaps either their approach will have evolved or your current situation has. No worries.

I too study Theravada but I often tell my teacher that if he had been a Chan/Dzogchen/Pure Land teacher I would have studied *that* because of how good I find his instructions and approach. So that's to say, trust your gut on this and work with the teacher you connect with. As your footing gets firmer, you can definitely work in other traditions. In the meantime, Theravada will keep you quite busy for a while! :)

​

Defer to your teacher of course, but here are a few Theravada teachers I've found helpful:

Ajan Sona

Joseph Goldstein Insight Hour Podcast and books, specifically Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening

In This Very Life by Sayadaw Upandita

*spelling

Thanks for taking the time for a detailed reply!!!

My concern with the Kinesis also lies in that I'd need one of the office, one for home, etc.

One is already plenty expensive, but I might have to at least try, if nothing else is working.

I appreciate the OSHA suggestion. I've tried to follow their guidelines, but the ones for monitor positioning, idk...

Like they almost seem like they were written for guidelines for using a 15" CRT, rather than a wide 22" LCD. I can never get comfortable for long following those guidelines.

They say Comfortable viewing angle is 15 to 20 degrees which ends at about the center of the screen, so, what about the rest of the screen if I'm processing a report or coding? Should I always be centering my work on the monitor? /rant

I've been working for Orthopedists for years. It's usually posture, PT, etc. It never is a long term solution, that works for very long.

I figured, I might as well try to get the keyboard situation sorted...

Anyway, so sorry for your difficulties!!!

You might want to check out this book, I've found it useful for understanding some of the persistent muscle pain, I've had for years.

Problem is, work is constantly keeping me in a cycle of re-injury, until I can get this sorted out.

Thanks again :)

I understand constant headache and migraines for weeks. When you say nothing else works do you mean concerning medicine only? You said they are tension related and trust me, yoga is amazing for reducing pain. There are so many great yoga teachers on youtube just waiting to teach you how to reduce stress and pain. Yoga with Adriene is a great place to start if you don't have experience or need a bit of a refresher.

Obviously as many massages as possible will help and here's a little something that has changed my life: neck block
This can be used in myriad ways to reduce stress in neck, upper back and face. It's tempting to go cheap and just get the small part that sits atop the black stand but you will not gain the relief you need that way. It's worth the investment if you invest your time. Another miracle tool is the Body back Buddy find the right size for you and I promise you will never want to put the thing down. You can work on knots anywhere in your body that cause tension without a massage therapist's limited time.
Learn about Myofascial massage techniques, The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook is a God send. It even says right on the cover, the first type of main you can helps reduce yourself by learning these techniques is fibromyalgia. Chronic Myofascial Pain causes great pain in the face and head and this book teaches you how to fix this yourself. Help yourself and get these things if you can.
Another thing, when was your last eye exam? When I finally got glasses my migraines went from 5-8 times a month to 1-2 every couple of months. Didn't even realize I actually needed glasses.

Hopefully these things help! Having dealt with regular headaches and migraines since the age of six, these are really the only things that have changed me.

I was in the same boat as you when I got started and I found that using a good guided meditation app provided a solid starting foundation.

I have personal experience with Ten Percent Happier and Waking Up. Both are fantastic but should not be relied on for too long; it should only take a few months to form your own practice based on the techniques you’ll learn.

I’m at the point where I’m getting comfortable with my own daily practice after using each of those apps for a few months. One widely recommended book which I might look at soon is The Mind Illuminated. Another book I discovered recently, Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, is written by respected meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein, who also narrates the intro guided meditations for Ten Percent Happier.

Edit: Waking up has a companion book that discusses what consciousness is and how to avoid the faith-based dogma that is often associated with meditation.

So many things. Some expensive, some not. I haven't solved my problems, but I've made them better. My posture is a work in progress, and a still hold tension in my jaw when I'm not paying attention.

Posture: Your posture could be adding tension if you keep your head too far forward or round your shoulders. The Alexander Technique is good for this, but expensive. Physical therapy can help (find someone with a TMJ specialty). If you have no money, you can try to do it yourself with a book like this. A simple thing to do is to lie on the floor on your back, knees bent, feet about a foot apart, with 2-3 inches of books supporting you head. The part of your head above the neck where your skull starts to bulge should be on the books. Do this for 10-20 minutes. To get up, roll onto your side and use your arms to push yourself up. Don't pull with the neck. This technique is safe and gentle, and it feels nice. If you have lower-back pain, only do 10 minutes.

Anxiety: Are you getting treatment? Anxiety sucks so much. If you're not getting help, try to.

Unconscious tension: If you tend to get caught up in what you're doing and forget to loosen up, set yourself a quiet timer to remind you to sit back and shake the tension loose. Download a body scan guided meditation to help connect your mind and body.

Cosmetic: A trick for releasing the brow creases is to imagine the outer corners of your eyes pulling your eyes wider apart. I read this in the book version of the movie Labyrinth. Jareth does it to look younger.

Dental: Is your mouth guard working well for you? Did a dentist make it, and is he/she an expert?

Sleep: Do you get enough, and is it of good quality? Are you tired all the time? Sleep issues will make you tense.

Basically, you want to figure out what factors are involved and try to fix them. I've listed the ones I'm most familiar with. Good luck!

I really like Rodney Yee's yoga DVDs :) I've tried a lot of them, and I find that his style just works best for me.

I also enjoyed Meditations from the Mat when I was first getting into yoga - I liked the daily essays, and it helped me stay kind of focused on my goal.

And I've been debating off and on whether I want to pick up Moving Toward Balance (Rodney Yee again, what can I say?).

I'm afraid I can't give you a book that functions as a good and popular introduction to the history of Alchemy – there's one for the Grimoire tradition, for example. My interests are more academic, so my recommendations are going to be academic works. That being said, the history of alchemy intersects very well with other interests (say, the development of Renaissance Humanism, or medieval philosophy). My own focus is the development of Boyle's New Science, and so a figure like George Starkey is of particular interest. Despite my own reservations regarding their work, William Newman's Gehennical Fire, along with his and Lawrence Principe's Alchemy Tried in the Fire serve as excellent introductions to this particular era (17th century).

But I'll do some digging through my own notes in a few hours, and see if I can't come up with some more recommendations.

• The Essential Guide to Herbs by Lesley Bremness
  Has over 100 different plants and the basics about them, a bit about how/where to grow each plant, what they can be used for and how to prepare them.
  
• The Complete Illustrated Guide to Herbs by Non Shaw
  Has less then the first book but provides a bit more in-depth info about them. Also includes a good how-to on tinctures, salves, etc.
  
• Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health by Rosemary Gladstar
  Mostly a collection of recipes for different teas, medicinal candies, etc but also has a bit of information on a bunch of basic herbs.
  
  These are the first three books I bought when I got into medicinal herbs. They're an excellent way to begin, I think. Lots of different information, and I still go back to them for reference.
  
  Edit: Added links

The Passion of the Western Mind: Understanding the Ideas that Have Shaped Our World View Here are the great minds of Western civilization and their pivotal ideas, from Plato to Hegel, from Augustine to Nietzsche, from Copernicus to Freud. Richard Tarnas performs the near-miracle of describing profound philosophical concepts simply but without simplifying them. Ten years in the making and already hailed as a classic, THE PASSION OF THE WESERN MIND is truly a complete liberal education in a single volume.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a Christian and practicing Buddhism. Lots of people see Buddhism as more of a philosophy than a religion. The resources are definitely out there though. As far as books go, my personal favorite and the only book I have on the subject is Awakening the Buddha Within by Surya Das. I'd highly recommend it!

As far as feeling down about where you're at in life, don't beat yourself up. We're all on our own journeys and we all strive to better ourselves the best way we can. Be well, brother!

take some gold for being in a similar situation as myself at around the same time in life. in return, i hope you will look into purchasing one, a few, or all of these used/new books on amazon (or anywhere) for your contemplations.. you have my sacred word you will not regret it even if you just set them aside for a year or two. The knowledge gained from opening one's mind to these potential patterns of thought is incomparable to anything else I can think of as an addendum to the Holy Bible & other worldly religious books of faith.

1. Sefir Yetzirah (Book of Formation) - Aryeh Kaplan's version (a great explanatory edition)
   
   
2. The Hermetica - Timothy Freke & Peter Gandy compilation
   
   
3. The Gnostic Bible - Edited by Willis Barnstone & Marvin Meyer
   
   
4. Isis Unveiled - vol 1 and vol 2 - Madame Helena Blavatsky
   
   
5. The Magician's Companion: A Practical & Encyclopedic Guide to Magical & Religious Symbolism - Bill Whitcomb
   
   

Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, Joseph Goldstein

http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-A-Practical-Guide-Awakening/dp/162203063X

It is a diligent explanation of Satipatthana sutta. It is very clearly written and full of wisdom. Has great advice for dealing with hinderances in practice. I would strongly recommend it to anyone who wants to go straight to the source of the teaching and move their practice forward. It's not probably good for absolute beginners.

Hey!

I am sure that you've done this, but just in case you haven't: make sure to contact the program(s) you're looking at applying to and see what that the prerequisite classes are for each. I got my masters in clinical mental health counseling and my program required a number of basic psychology courses are prereqs.

Aside from that, don't worry too much about what you don't know. If you're looking to get a jump-start you can read through a basic theories textbook (like this one) or some seminal works by notable authors in the counseling/mental health fields like Man's Search for Meaning, Cognitive Behavioral Theory, or Reality Therapy for the 21st Century.

If you don't have a background in psychology then some of these might feel a little abstract, but don't worry! You don't have to understand everything to begin exploring your interests.

I hope this is helpful!

i mentioned two other books on another comment here, but also thought of another; mindfulness: a practical guide to awakening by goldstein.

i do believe he covers quite a bit of historical ground and may mention some material that is debatable. regardless, i honestly think this may be the most concise book on the topic of mindfulness. it's the only "way" of living tied to buddhism that i can see works completely without buddhism. hope that makes sense. might be a good read? i've seen this book physically at barnes&noble and although i haven't purchased it yet, it's quite beautiful and insightful.

I am a big book reader, specifically on energy healing and understanding how energy creates health or illness. I am a fully recovered bulimic -- and swear that these books changed my entire view and relationship with myself.

Here are my top 3 favorites, one is available for free as a digital book so I included that link.

xo tracey

Light Emerging - Barbara Brennan, free digital book http://t2mh.com/inspiring/Barbara%20Brennan%20Light%20Emerging%20-%20Journey%20of%20Personal%20Healing.pdf

Hands of Light - Barbara Brennan
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hands-Light-Healing-Through-Energy/dp/0553345397

Caroline Myss - Anatomy of the Spirit: Seven Stages of Healing
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anatomy-Spirit-Seven-Stages-Healing/dp/0553505270/ref=pd_sbs_14_t_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FMJ18K9R9ZHN2Y8BFSWX

We strive to not become attached to any practice, but especially not to a practice that does not fit into our lives. Why have any desire? Why have a desire that cannot be filled? This is how suffering is created.

I'd recommend the book The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young. There are a couple of books by this name, so here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/Science-Enlightenment-How-Meditation-Works/dp/1591794609/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=XJ5VCMA881V81A4FARQ0

Remember: Trying to get to the destination by following the path of another makes enlightenment harder than it needs to be. There is no honor in a harder path, only a farther distance from the truth.

Pragmatism means the idea that what is true is what is most useful. The investigation of metaphysical concepts is termed foundationalism and is a disease that has plagued philosophy since it's inception. I believe in pragmatism, but I try not to metaphysicalize it.

Now, this discussion is impossible to contain in book of infinite pages, but since you say you are new, il just say what I think would be the most useful for a non philosophy student. It is really difficult to investigate these concepts without a teacher but sadly many philosophers are extremely arrogant so it might be hard to find one.

You need to read a history of western philosophy to understand it's truth. This is itself a debatable proposition, because some say that philosophy is a progressive enterprise and that we march closer to the really real every day. From my perspective, I would start out with this book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Passion-Western-Mind-Understanding/dp/0345368096

It is spectacular and will make you as knowledgable about the western tradition as most philosophy majors. It is profound and easy to read. Can't recommend enough.

Then, you should pick the ideas that grab you and start looking into them. There is a lot of stuff online about it, but tbh you need a book. Books are the western style of meditation, because they demand repeated return to the same idea, awareness of awareness.

I love the presocratics, my favorite is Pythagoras. There is a lot of really cool stuff on them, but it mostly comes from anthologies because their direct insights have been destroyed,

You already are enlightened, the idea is to become aware of this fact. Don't get turned off by the arrogance of philosophy, because it's really something that belongs to everyone.

For everyday little thoughts or things that my yoga teachers say around savasana I like

• Meditations from the Mat
  
  
• 365 Prescriptions for the Soul
  
  
• The Essential Rumi or The Gift - Hafiz
  
  
  Or some "stylish" books like ...
  
  
• Eat Pray Love - meh
  
  
• Yoga Bitch and if that one doesnt strike your fancy, you could go look under the similar products.
  
  
  There's also some documentaries like Enlighten Up which used to be streaming on Netflix for free. Not a GREAT documentary but good if you want to focus on the culture of yoga!
  
  

I suggest the Satipatthana Sutta with a practice-oriented commentary. It's probably the most comprehensive sutta.

Here are a couple good ones:

Transformation and Healing: Sutra on the Four Establishments of Mindfulness (Thich Nhat Hanh)

Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening (Joseph Goldstein)

Then there's the Anapanasati Sutta, which is also considered to be very authentic and comprehensive. In it the Buddha shows how he used the breath to practice the four establishments of mindfulness to achieve full awakening. Here are a couple good commentaries:

Breathe, You Are Alive: The Sutra on the Full Awareness of Breathing (Thich Nhat Hanh)


Breath by Breath: The Liberating Practice of Insight Meditation (Larry Rosenberg)

This may sound crazy, but a small orbital buffer like this one works great: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O9G4FZC/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Here's an article to prove I'm not alone in my crazy love for these things for massage and recovery:http://www.allthingsgym.com/car-polisher-next-level-self-myofascial-release/

EDIT: On rereading I see you're asking about actual techniques for self-massage. For that, I don't know of a better book than The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook

I recommend this book for recipes:

Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health

Super simple recipes and formulas, and Rosemary is a long-time teacher of herbalism. She explains things really well!

Most of the people I know who practice and study herbalism do ALOT of experimenting. I am always trying new salve ideas and tea formulas. Don't be afraid to experiment, once you learn some basics!

The Dhammapada by Eknath Easwaran

This book is my favorite translation of the Dhammapada. The introduction has the best story about the life of the Buddha. It provides the historical context of the day through which Buddhism grew from. This introduction provided a perspective I've never heard before, and it opens my eyes into what the Buddha discovered and how he got there. I would buy it alone for the introduction.


Meditation in Plain English

For a more practical book, Meditation in Plain English is just what the title says. It teaches you how to meditate and provides the reasons why you should meditate with going into technical terms of Buddhism.

If you have any questions, pm me. Good luck.

Thank you for getting the joke.

I would not really advise to solely look at Enochian Text for this, you might want to start looking at
A Dictionary of Angels for some good baseline info
and the Sepher Rezial Hemelach

Fifth World Books - 419 E. 2100 South, SLC, UT. Ph.(801)486-6437 Will often know where to point you as well. Rosenblum's World of Judaica on Devon St. In Chicago can direct you as well as get you some very hard to find reference books.

Hope those can give you some more diverse and accurate sources of information.

EDIT: Also of course the Sefer Yetzirah: The Book of Creation and The Magician's Companion

Have you ever seen the [The Encyclopedia of Psychoactive Plants] (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0892819782/ref=cm_sw_r_an_am_ap_am_us?ie=UTF8) by Christian Rätsch (published in 2005)? It's very comprehensive including a lot of information on cultural context for basically all the known psychoactive plants on the planet (at the time of publication at least). My copy at home has like hundreds of sticky notes in it, haha. I definitely recommend that book.

You need to learn to cope with your natural emotions, thoughts, and desires without the aide of any substance. You're not addicted to weed, it's your emotional crutch. This book has helped me a lot. Give it a try. Personally, I find inspirational helpful words on every page of this book. First, you will learn that it is pointless to dwell on thoughts, emotions, or desires. Then, you will learn how to actually control yourself enough to not dwell on those things. That's all there is to it. You're not broken. You're not an addict. You're not a bad person. You simply were not taught self-discipline by your parents or society, and now you're dealing with the fallout of being an adult without an emotional foundation to stand on. It's up to you to build that foundation, or you can do the typical thing and medicate yourself with something legal.

I also enjoyed The Passion Of The Western Mind by Richard Tarnas. Personally, I think that Tarnas did of better job than Russel at giving context to the philosophical frameworks that these guys were working within, but that's just my opinion (I've read both books). Russell comes across like a professor giving you his specific interpretation - hence the bias slant - where as Tanas seems able to give you a little more perspective - not that I'm attempting to claim that he is completely without bias, himself.

You might also what to look into Sophie's World.

There are a great many Jewish Buddhists. So many that they are known as JewBus (Jew-boos). Joseph Goldstein is quite a well-known and respected Jewish Buddhist, author, and teacher.

His book Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening is worth a read, if you're interested.

• See books with instructions for vipassana on Buddhanet.
  
• Here is a simple vipassana book featuring the Mahasi Sayadaw method of noting.
  
• Attend the famous 10-day residential vipassana courses. They are free and there is one near you. The structure is 3 days anapanasati and 7 days vipassana.
  
• Listen to Goenka's discourses from the same courses or read the transcription
  
• Search youtube for vipassana, mindfulness, insight, guided etc.
  
• See the original Satipatthana sutta.
  
• Listen to Sayalay Susila's audio discourses - the "mindfulness" ones here are based on the Satipatthana sutta.
  
• Gil Fronsdal's Introduction to meditation. Also see the other talks here.
  
• There are many good published books too, e.g. Goldstein - Mindfulness: A practical guide to awakening.
  
  So there are a lot of free and inexpensive resources. And you know what and where to look.

I'm not sure about essential to every occult library (and I realize some of these aren't necessarily considered primarily 'occult' texts), but here are a few I've found useful:

• The Golden Dawn - Israel Regardie
  
• Morals and Dogma - Alfred Pike
  
• Modern Magick - Donald Michael Kraig
  
• The Secret Teachings of All Ages - Manly P. Hall
  
• Initiation into Hermetics - Franz Bardon
  
• Sefer Yetzirah - Aryeh Kaplan
  
• The Secret Doctrine - Madame Blavatsky
  
• Liber Null & Psychonaut - Peter J. Carroll
  
• The Book of Thoth - Aleister Crowley
  
• Undoing Yourself with Energized Meditation and Other Devices - Christopher S. Hyatt
  
• Prometheus Rising - Robert Anton Wilson
  
• Enochian Vision Magick - Lon Milo DuQuette
  
• The Chicken Qabalah - Lon Milo DuQuette
  
• Brain Magick - Philip Farber
  
• Info-Psychology - Timothy Leary
  
• Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson - George Gurdjieff
  
• Initiation, Human and Solar - Alice Bailey
  
• The Red Book - Carl Jung
  
• Principia Discordia - Malaclypse the Younger

If she's a good reader, I'd recommend Grimoires, one of the smartest non-fiction books I've ever read on the subject. About 1/5 of it is references/bibliography. Advanced my knowledge by more per hour than anything I can remember reading.

hey I was just reading about posture this evening. Here's some popular links and commonly mentioned information I've collected:

http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ewrr0/writeup_on_the_dreaded_anterior_pelvic_tilt_or/
http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/exgiu/a_guide_to_fixing_computer_guy_posture_upper_body/

http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/1f6pxd/lpt_if_you_are_trying_to_correct_your_posture/
-collection of 'quick tips'

http://www.builtlean.com/2011/11/28/posture-problems/

this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BOTvaRaDjI
-comments say this is highly effective and more difficult than it looks

yoga

'the alexander method'

this book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0979303605/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

T-Nation's 5-part Neanderthal No-More series:
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance_repair/neanderthal_no_more_part_i&cr=
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance_repair/neanderthal_no_more_part_ii&cr=
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance_repair/neanderthal_no_more_iii&cr=
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance_repair/neanderthal_no_more_part_iv&cr=
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance_repair/neanderthal_no_more_part_v&cr=

There you have it. I hope you have a ton of time on your hands and an extensive knowledge of anatomy. You're gonna need it to sort through all these bazillions of stretches and exercises and find out which ones are right for you. I just spent like a couple hours on it and feel like I'm not even a fraction of the way done.

Hey there!

Check out Esther Gokhale's "8 Steps to A Pain Free Back." Most neck pains come from poor posture and Gokhale's book is the seminal book on how to improve your posture. The book is so good that my friend, who is a spinal surgeon, recommends it to his patients. I recommend it to all of my students!

Still not convinced? Check out the 232 five star reviews on amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605

Good luck!

I really like Grimoires: A History of Magic Books by Owen Davis. It covers magical books that were influential in western Europe, and is a good place to start for people interested in reading old grimoires.

There are many.

• Some detail the use of Stoicism in difficult situations. The best known is probably Stockdale's essay Courage Under Fire: Testing Epictetus’s Doctrines in a Laboratory of Human Behavior (PDF). Stockdale was a POW in Vietnam, and his reading of Epictetus proved helpful to his psyche. Another book that explores the connection between Stoicism and the military is Sheridan's Stoic Warriors. Again with the military theme, I'm a fan of the Stoic-adjacent Jocko Podcast, so I'll be ordering Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, which is not yet available. You might listen to a few episodes of the podcast or watch a few YouTube clips to check for yourself. There's also a subreddit, /r/JockoPodcast.
  
  
• Books about CBT and REBT are Stoic-adjacent. I've read A Guide to Rational Living and Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond, but there are of course many others. I found the latter to be especially interesting, as it was intended for therapists, not patients. The Road Less Traveled is also Stoic-ish, especially the first half, but used different terminology.
  
  
• Becker's A New Stoicism is in a class all its own. Here's an interview with the author.
  
  Edited to add one more: Plutarch's Life of Cato the Younger

I totally agree on the Theracane. The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook along with the theracane can save a lot of money and reduce recovery time.

I used it along with corrective exercises to fix my rotator cuff. Every athlete should have both especially if they're just starting a strength training program. Even if you've read Starting Strength and watched the videos, you're probably going to fuck up your form at some point and put unnecessary stress on a muscle. The trigger point work book will help you identify the affected muscles and treat them. A lot cheaper than seeing a massage therapist.

Yes, it sounds/looks to me like you see energy ("chakras" are part of that). I could be wrong, but I'd look into it more if I were you anyways. You would probably make a really good energy healer and/or medical intuitive. Check out the Hands of Light book (http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Light-Healing-Through-Energy/dp/0553345397/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347945502&sr=1-1&keywords=healing+hands). I also prefer Pranic Healing over Reiki (Reiki is more commonly known). http://pranichealing.com/

I can send more info on people/books/etc if you want.

This kind of mind-induced somatosensory pain when meditating is often associated with trauma. I've worked with similar issues myself, though what you're describing sounds markedly more pronounced than what I've worked with.

If you know yourself to be a trauma survivor, then I would suggest finding a teacher that has some kind of background in trauma-sensitive mindfulness, and ideally some kind of professional mental health background.

One book (that I have not read myself), but gets mentioned a lot in this context is Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness by David Treleavan.
Another one (that I've partially read) is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk. That last one is very informative but also difficult as many of the case studies that are described are pretty harrowing to listen to - just a warning.

I meet with a teacher twice per month, and much of what we do, besides meditation, and discussing practice, is essentially talk therapy. She also prescribes me a number of non-meditation exercises that are pretty standard in working with grief and trauma. I've found it very helpful and beneficial to my practice.

Incorporating some metta, or what Shinzen Young calls Nurture Positive would likely also be beneficial. If you can cultivate some practices that plain just make you feel good, that you can depend on as a resource, it can provide a sense of security that lets you navigate more painful sensations and associated memories/emotions/thoughts with a much needed felt sense of grounding.

Doctors don't specialize or receive much education on muscle disorders, don't be surprised if he's not familiar with the disorder or the modern treatment protocol.

If you do have MPD: it is good news, it is treatable, sometimes partially and sometimes completely.

https://www.painscience.com/tutorials/trigger-points.php

Here's an intro, this site is great, the guy does good science. I haven't bought this ebook yet though.

https://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942

here's the book that will help you recover.

I'm earthy crunchy and was shocked when I found alcohol and tons of junk in many products sold at Whole Foods, and even my local COOP.

Some options:

1. Silk Naturals is one ecologically sound company that comes to mind.
   
   
   
2. Check out a book by Rosemary Gladstar- queen of herbal and natural skin care (and herbalism goddess at large) This book, or this one come to mind.
   
   
   
3. There is also a DIY skincare subreddit.
   
   
   
4. Evanhealy, Andalou, and SOME myChelle products have worked well for me.
   
   
   
5. Mountain Rose Herbs is also a great company who carries stellar quality products and is big into minimizing their footprint.

You have to learn how your body is meant to work. Watch this video of Esther Gokhale doing a talk at Google:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yYJ4hEYudE


Then I recommend you buy her book “8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back”:

http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236465508&sr=8-1


I would also second the comments about starting some weight training, but focusing on good lifting form. Your muscles, not your bones, should be doing most of the work to keep you in a healthy posture.

If nothing works, see a doctor.

Invest 20.00 US in this book.

It is about 30 pages of background information and reading and the rest are charts. I used to not be able to sit for long periods of time because of my right hamstring tightening up to the point of agonizing pain. After a bit of research I learned about trigger points so I ordered this book and worked a few of the points the book calls out in one of the diagrams. After a week: no more pain.

Root cause: it was referred pain from a trigger point in a muscle group I didn't even know about. Check out the book. It is the first place I go when I tweak my back or my neck hurts or whatever. It isn't a substitution for a qualified medical professional but it is an excellent place to start and has been crucial to my well being.

I recommend it to all my friends and family. Be well!

I think you might benefit from actually meeting with PT, since this is pretty specific.

The best book I know about spine/ neck/ posture is Esther Gokhale's - my neurologist actually recommended it. https://smile.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605?sa-no-redirect=1 She also has some youtube videos that deal with posture and neck/head position.

I taught myself how to do CBT on myself using this book. It's written for psychologists on how to do CBT on their patients, but I found it pretty easy to understand and apply to myself.

https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavior-Therapy-Second-Basics/dp/1609185048/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy+judith+beck&qid=1551304085&s=gateway&sr=8-3

Are you aware of any trauma in your life? It’s possible meditation is bringing up some repressed emotions. Meditation can be practiced safely if that’s the case, but it’s good to be aware of the potential pitfalls. Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness is a good book for this.

Ask your PT to check to see if you have tender trigger points in your back.

I was having some serious back issues after lots of climbing on the bicycle, and it's pretty much gone with trigger point massage. A good PT can help you.

https://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473741302&sr=8-1&keywords=trigger+point+workbook+3rd+edition

Have you ever read the pleasure trap by doctor Doug Lyle? Pretty good stuff. The book is a little dry and technical so there's always YouTube.

Link https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Trap-Mastering-Undermines-Happiness/dp/1570671974&ved=0ahUKEwiCoa-y9ZrRAhUB3IMKHW20AEQQFghhMAo&usg=AFQjCNE5BvsDzU-BPr2kW0mcCwOjXkAdBQ&sig2=GuWKoUCKWuIn6X9F_dTamA

https://smile.amazon.de/Mindfulness-Practical-Awakening-Joseph-Goldstein/dp/1622036050/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=goldstein&qid=1566730845&s=gateway&sr=8-2 is an amazing resource. You can start with the free sample.

Maybe read the sidebar of this subreddit, e. g. https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/wiki/faq#wiki_how_do_i_begin.3F

Texts and Reference Books

Days in the Lives of Social Workers

DSM-5

Child Development, Third Edition: A Practitioner's Guide

Racial and Ethnic Groups

Social Work Documentation: A Guide to Strengthening Your Case Recording

Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond

[Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life]
(https://www.amazon.com/Thoughts-Feelings-Harbinger-Self-Help-Workbook/dp/1608822087/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3ZW7PRW5TK2PB0MDR9R3)

Interpersonal Process in Therapy: An Integrative Model

[The Clinical Assessment Workbook: Balancing Strengths and Differential Diagnosis]
(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0534578438/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_38?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ARCO1HGQTQFT8)

Helping Abused and Traumatized Children

Essential Research Methods for Social Work

Navigating Human Service Organizations

Privilege: A Reader

Play Therapy with Children in Crisis

The Color of Hope: People of Color Mental Health Narratives

The School Counseling and School Social Work Treatment Planner

Streets of Hope : The Fall and Rise of an Urban Neighborhood

Deviant Behavior

Social Work with Older Adults

The Aging Networks: A Guide to Programs and Services

[Grief and Bereavement in Contemporary Society: Bridging Research and Practice]
(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0415884810/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy

Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change

Ethnicity and Family Therapy

Human Behavior in the Social Environment: Perspectives on Development and the Life Course

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Generalist Social Work Practice: An Empowering Approach

Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

DBT Skills Manual for Adolescents

DBT Skills Manual

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets

Social Welfare: A History of the American Response to Need

Novels

[A People’s History of the United States]
(https://www.amazon.com/Peoples-History-United-States/dp/0062397346/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511070674&sr=1-1&keywords=howard+zinn&dpID=51pps1C9%252BGL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch)


The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Life For Me Ain't Been No Crystal Stair

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Tuesdays with Morrie

The Death Class <- This one is based off of a course I took at my undergrad university

The Quiet Room

Girl, Interrupted

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

Flowers for Algernon

Of Mice and Men

A Child Called It

Go Ask Alice

Under the Udala Trees

Prozac Nation

It's Kind of a Funny Story

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Yellow Wallpaper

The Bell Jar

The Outsiders

To Kill a Mockingbird

This book is pretty great: Meditations from the Mat. Author is a recovered addict and yogi.

For low magic, there is a wealth of witchcraft and folk magic that predates Gerald Gardner. It is not really initiatory, despite what a few people claim about coming from a long line of witches. Historically, it mostly came from books, folklore, and local customs. This book by Owen Davis is a great way to learn about magic and witchcraft that existed prior to Wicca (and was largely appropriated by Wicca).

The African diaspora in the Caribbean and the Americas created numerous magical practices (some associated with religion, some not). This includes hoodoo, Palo Mayombe (the black magic side of Santeria), Maria Lionza, and probably others that I don't know about. Magical practitioners in these traditions typically don't call themselves "witches," but their practices definitely fall under the category of witchcraft.

Go on a 48 hour waterfast. You'll "reset" your palate for salt, and it'll be more effective than trying to reduce salt.

Source: The pleasure trap

I've been struggling with a bad back for about 10 years (I am 36 year old fit male, but quite flat footed). I finally threw it out 6 months ago doing deadlifts. Going to the chiropractor helped me get back into decent shape, although I only went 3 times. He wanted me to go more, but at $30 a pop, like you, I couldn't afford it (and I have health insurance!).

Since then, 3 things have really helped me with my back problems:

1. A hard foam roller, this is the one I use and love it. I use it when I wake up in the morning and before going to sleep at night. I also use it before and after workouts. If you never used a foam roller before, you may want to start with a softer one.
   
   
2. The excerice described in this video. I believe they are called glute bridges. I do them twice a week, about 20 on each side. Previous to this I did a lot of regular and side planks as well as Yoga. Nothing helped me as much as these.
   
   
3. Lastly the book 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back. If you do not want to purchase the book, here is a video on how she says you should sit. Learning how to sit properly is what helped me the most.
   
   Also I do not do deadlifts anymore. I've tried again a few times since throwing my back out but I can tell my back does not like them. I can do every other exercise though (including squats).

Remember that it takes 4 to 6 weeks to feel the improvements of a workout. I'd recommend getting this book. I have it and I have been able to diagnose every injury-to-be that I've had with it.
Also, if you're worried about taking time off, I'd recommend this video, to reassure yourself.

I have learned everything through countless hours researching on the internet and books. Going through ethnobotanical stores and cross referencing with erowid and books to find out what seemed most interesting.

The best book on the subject is The Encyclopedia of Psychoactive Plants It contains everything you ever wanted to know about psychoactive herbs.

Just start collecting small. I have built this collection up over several years.

I also really enjoy finding the right vials and making nice labels for everything. In fact that is just as fun as getting a hold of the herbs. I have a few herbs lying in zip-lock bags, but they are kept apart from the rest of the collection until I have found a more presentable way to store them :P

I literally JUST received Meditations from the Mat in the mail! I suppose I shouldn't offer it as a suggestion just yet since I haven't read it, but a teacher I very much admire and enjoy taking classes with suggested it, because it offers daily reflections, so you can read a little and get "little tastes" of the spiritual side of yoga.

I tried to read the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga but had a really difficult time getting into it. :/ I'm excited to hear others' suggestions!

There is another possible cause that you may want to consider: trigger points (tight knots) in your forearm muscles (extensors and flexors of your fingers and palm).

Try massaging your forearms and see if any muscle hurts when you massage it. If yes, you have found some trigger points.

The best resource to learn self-treatment for trigger points is still Trigger Point Therapy Workbook by Clair Davies

Alternatively, find a physiotherapist who knows how to treat trigger points.

ive read quite a lot of spiritual books in the last 2 years, but I have become more distracted in the last few months

this is by far the best buddhist book ive ever read (currently in the middle of) and recommend it to everyone

http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-A-Practical-Guide-Awakening/dp/162203063X

Moral realism. Indeed, I consider religion a mythopoeic way to express the philosophy of moral realism.

I am a pluralist, so I don't dismiss any religion out of hand, but I know more about philosophy than about any religion outside of Christianity. However, I enjoyed Stephen Mitchell's translation of the Bhagavad Gita. He has also translated Gilgamesh, Tao Te Ching, The Book of Job, poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke, A Book of Psalms, and Genesis.

You CAN learn some of it from books - the rest you'll have to do through spirit work and guidance. There are 2 books by Barbara Ann Brennan that will get you started on viewing and manipulating the aura and structures within it. They're a little new agey, but the info is fairly solid and effective, and they're regularly used as part of the teaching curriculum for naturopathic/alternative health/massage/reiki type courses at accredited colleges. Go through her first book before delving into her 2nd book. As a supplement, you should also read and practice Robert Bruce's New Energy Ways material. It will get you in shape for energy sensing and manipulation. MUCH magick and healing can be done with the techniques in his book alone!

https://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Psychoactive-Plants-Ethnopharmacology-Applications/dp/0892819782

There a lots of books, not sure if this is what you’re after but I’ve heard great things about it.

I would say that it was widely used. I’m reading through Owen Davies’ Grimoires: A History of Magic Books right now and he has a whole section dedicated to the SATOR square. It shows up in grimoires all throughout the Middle Ages from the Arab world to Spain and continues to appear all the way up until the 18th century. You’re correct that no one now has any idea why it was so important but it’s clear from the historical record that it was important enough that magicians kept spreading it about. No one thought to write down, however, why the SATOR square exists, what it means, or how to use it so it exists an enigmatic and intriguing magickal artifact, much like these items from Pompeii.

Yes it helped significantly to the point that it is almost unnoticeable. However it is one of the toughest diet to follow.

The "candida diet" is similar but GAPS is superior. Read the book.

Awakening the Buddha Within: Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World is my favorite book on Buddhism.

I suspect that if you haven't already, you'd get a lot of mileage out of a 10-day Vipassana course from dhamma.org.

The ñāṇa-system you reference, imu, comes from the Burmese Vipassana tradition, in particular from Mahasi Sayadaw. A short translated version can be found here. I've also been given to understand that a full translation has recently been published on Amazon. The short version indicates that a brilliant light is involved in the fourth ñāṇa.

The twitching, jerking and blockage, IMO, are defilements of concentration. Also, IME, there is a steady-state pīti/rapture that comes with the dissolution of such defilements; the "will"ed type of pīti/rapture can be distracting from the task of dissolving defilements, IMO.

Finally, I don't know what this vipassana-jhana business is all about, but the Paṭhama Jhāna of the Pāḷi Canon, is when pīti & sukha permeates and pervades, suffuses and fills the body such that there is nothing of the entire body unpervaded, and one is able to remain like that for however long is desired.

Hands of Light by Barbara Brennan - Read this for a class while in Massage Therapy school. Really made me look at things in another light. Might be a little heavy to digest, but lots of wonderful information.

For #3 I like to refer back to the Bhagavad Gita. Arjuna essentially asks Krishna "what is the meaning of my life." Krishna gives a long treatise that basically comes down to "suck it up and do what you have to do."

Beautiful language though. I like the Stephen Mitchell translation.

>It feels so cocky to walk upright.

Oh, the horror. Better than progressively turning into a hunchback or needing back surgery in your 30s.

 

Get this book and live its advice. Here's a Google talk where the author explains her method for improving posture.

A quick run-through of her main techniques:

Stretchsitting

Stretchlying

Stacksitting

Tallstanding

Inner corset

Side stretchlying - similar to the above but on your side

Hip-hinging

Glidewalking.

Katheen Porter is also a good source for improving/understanding posture.

If you enjoy yoga (even if you don't practice yoga), you may like Meditations from the Mat

/u/sunmusings, you might be interested in the book: Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787

For those that are interested in this topic you might like these books

Practicing the Jhanas: Traditional Concentration Meditation as Presented by the Venerable Pa Auk Sayadaw(tranquility - concentration )

>Manual Of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw (vipassna)

Sure. Offer the fruits of your actions to whatever supreme being you happen to believe in.

It's literally one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Meditations from The Mat is a great book too!


http://www.amazon.com/dp/0385721544/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=35077703004&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5667773347437400616&hvpone=11.15&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5vcab3xz8u_b

I'd try giving [This book](http://www.Trauma-Sensitive.com/ Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393709787/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_wGLWBb4G8ECQA) a read before proceeding with more meditation. But after, I'd sit and watch thoughts and emotions come and go. I'd do that until I realized that they are not me and could proceed through life more skilfully

You gave it your best shot.

It's the Bagavad Gita.

https://www.amazon.com/Bhagavad-Gita-Translation-Stephen-Mitchell/dp/0609810340/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493149715&sr=1-3&keywords=bhagavad+gita

For help with posture while you are standing, I recommend checking out 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back by Esther Gokhale.

Sounds like you're stuck in the pleasure trap

Yes it is, and I have been reading similar experiences in the phoenix rising forum. They have been strong enough for me but I had to use very large doses, they are natural antibiotics, a test to see if you are one (of the many) with a low level undiagnosed infection. You may want to have a look on this book also, the same logic, but in the gut... https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Syndrome-D-D-D-H-D-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028

I suggest the Stephen Mitchell translation: http://www.amazon.com/Bhagavad-Gita-A-New-Translation/dp/0609810340/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1344000555&sr=8-2&keywords=bhagavad+gita

It is both linguistically and aesthetically beautiful.

Wonderful! This is 100% normal. When your mind gets quiet, all of this will come up naturally.

You've got it. Just let it come, let it be, let it go.

If it becomes too much, try easing off sitting meditation and weave in some walking or loving-kindness meditation. Mindful yoga would be good too.

Here is an interview my teacher that may give you insight into how meditation and therapy come together.

If you have a history of trauma, you might like this book.

Easwaran or Mitchell, imo, or both. ;) It's beneficial to compare translations.

http://www.amazon.com/Bhagavad-Gita-Classics-Indian-Spirituality/dp/1586380192

http://www.amazon.com/Bhagavad-Gita-Translation-Stephen-Mitchell/dp/0609810340

Oh! Another one I read that was fascinating was Grimoires: A History of Magic Books. As it gets closer to modern day, it shows how capital M Magic (spells and such) started to intersect with magic and illusion.

Check this book out. It was very helpful for me. I read a lot of it at amazon and google books. The author also has a website. http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Pain-Free-Back-Solutions-Shoulder/dp/0979303605/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312667607&sr=1-3

The introduction in Easwaran's translation of the Dhammapada is excellent. It succinctly summarized the essence of Buddhism and got me started on that path.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Dhammapada-Classics-Indian-Spirituality/dp/1586380206/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1371158557&sr=8-2&keywords=the+dhammapada

You might want to try trigger point self massage:

https://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

It isn't complete magic cure but it did help me a lot..

Sefer Yetzirah is traditionally ascribed to Abraham by those who appreciate it, but they do not normally claim that Abraham wrote it as it now exists. The claim is that the traditions contained within (in perhaps a truncated form) originate with and were taught by Abraham. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan even suggests that, while the fundamentals come from Abraham, that it cannot be the case that Abraham actually wrote the text down (after all, if it were, it would be part of the Hebrew Bible). Sefer Yetzirah isn't really like the Hebrew Bible. It's not stories, laws, or prophecies. It's more a few pages on mystical grammar.

If you do wish to read it and understand some of it, you ought to learn the Hebrew alphabet and familiarize yourself with the Torah. Then you'll have some foundation when you read Sefer Yetzirah: The Book of Creation by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan.

The Body Keeps The Score is a fantastic book. Also, check out Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness.

In addition to using a standing desk, as others have recommended, you might find Esther Gokhale's book 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back helpful.

Hey- weren't you on Fitocracy?

Wanted to mention- this book has been very enlightening.

The Passion of the Western Mind - Richard Tarnas
Amazon

The book starts with Plato and Socrates and travels through the evolution of western thought up to contemporary times. It touches on the major ideas of the major thinkers of each era. I found it to be a good base before getting into the primary literature I've read since then. Just try to ignore his own little discourse at the end... or don't.

BTW I'm an armchair philosopher.

Right? No one mentioned that the first part of maintaining was figuring out what you want to look like. I'm glad you got your back pain sorted out. My back is all screwed up. I found relief in this book. It taught me how to stand, walk, sit, and lie down. I wish I got it years earlier.

I'd recommend reading the Bhagavad Gita, maybe start with a modern translation to familiarize yourself with the contents before diving into a more literal translation. I don't really have anything on tap for Buddhist or Shinto literature. Usually I start with the history of the religion and follow-up with any mentioned texts.

Joseph Goldstein's "Mindfulness - a practical guide to awakening" covers all your ABC - and then some :)

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Practical-Awakening-Joseph-Goldstein/dp/1622036050

The Passion of the Western Mind: Understanding the Ideas that Have Shaped Our World View

To give a short answer. Yes.

This is from a book about psychoactive plants i have. Because there are a lot of non factual answers here, I thought i post this. I had to write it all so there might be some spelling errors.

.
.
.

Plants of the gods, By Richard Evans Schultes, Albert Hofmann &Christian Rätsch.
>

The chemistry of Fly Agaric

> The active principle of Amanita muscaria was thought once, a century ago, to have been muscarine when Schiedeberg and kope isolated this substance. this belief has been proven erroneous. Recently Eugster in Switzerland and Takemo in Japan isolated ibotenic acid and the alkaloid muscimole as being responsible for the Fly Agaric's psychotropic effects. The mushroom is taken usually dried. The drying process induces the chemical transformation ibotenic acid to muscimole, the most active constituent.

...Amanita muscaria may be the oldest of the hallucinogens and perhaps was once the most used...

A little background summary from me:


It's been used by many different cultures in the past and has been associated with many different gods, There is evidence suggesting it's been used in India, Siberia and The America's, (From Mesoamerica to the north of Canada.


If you're interested in these kind of things, i suggest you try to find some literature about it. The Encyclopedia of Psychoactive Plants: Ethnopharmacology and Its Applications, Plants of the Gods: Their Sacred, Healing, and Hallucinogenic Powers, Psychedelics Encyclopedia. It's amazon link's but you can find them anywhere.