(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best erotica books

My standard intro:

BDSM is what you make of it. There's hundreds of kinks and you have to find what works for you. Maybe look into The New Topping and New Bottoming Books.

Now a few terms from me that you should know: Look up the safety and video tutorials of everything you try with risk, (not porn), even 'light' bondage or cuffs could cause nerve damage if tied wrong or left too long. Recommend getting safety shears. Never leave a tied person alone or try to sleep like that. Feeling numbness or tingling get free immediately.

Start small, maybe each type out an ideal 500 word fantasy for the two of you and go from there. As for the rest, roll with it and laugh it sounds like a bad porn script or is weird.

Top: Person performing an action in a scene.

Bottom: Person receiving an action in a scene.

Dominant-Dom (Domme/Domina for females): Person who has agreed to take control of the scene and commanding the sub within limits of both people. More mental then physical though both are important.

Submissive (sub): Person who consents to not be equals in a scene and do what the dominant wants. Within established limits and agreed activities. Random surprises in a scene are not a good idea.

Switch: People who like to both Dom/Domme and sub depending on their mood and/or type of scene. Switching mid-scene is more rare but can be done with couples who know each other well.

Not all Tops are Doms/Dommes and not all subbing is from the bottom. For example a girlfriend could be a Domme but like to be spanked. In that case she would tell her boyfriend exactly when/where/with what/how hard/how often to spank her. The boyfriend is a Sadist Top, doing the spanking but only to obey her, the Masochist Domme. He might wear a leash she can pull on to remind him whose in charge.

Review/establish hard & soft limits and safewords protocols if you don't already have them. Red=Stop NOW! Yellow=Minor issue please pause to hear why. Green=Keep Going. Every once in a while check in especially if its a new activity by asking "Color?" Doms can safeword too if need be.

Hard limits are things you never want to even consider, both of you should respect the other one's and not bring it up again unless they do. Don't like mixing pee and sex? (Watersports), then hard limit it. if things change over time maybe bring it up but still respect the other person not being into it.

Soft limits are things you are nervous about but are willing to work your way up too. Never done anal before? Buy a butt plug and carefully wear it for 10 minutes each day, increasing the time as you get more comfortable. Then slowly take her yourself.

Aftercare: Snuggling and cuddling as normal people again after a scene to 'come down' after the intensity of a scene. Doms/Tops need it too. What is in it will vary from person to person. Blankets, water and chocolate are a good basic package. And praise for each other, a lot of it. Talk about a scene again after you are both restored to see what worked and what didn't. Aftercare is needed to prevent the dreaded Drop. (Subdrop but Doms can get it too).

Drop: All the fun chemicals in your brain going away from a scene. Negative emotions and thoughts like sadness and maybe even disgust might pop in your head but it's probably just the coming down effect in your mind. Communication and aftercare are needed with your partner to prevent this in both of you. Drop can sometimes hit a few days later so monitor yourself. Personal experience: first scenes on a Friday night, drop didn't hit until Monday night/Tuesday morning, I needed to sleep it off. Irritable for no reason and out of step with the rest of the world, felt like a bad day no matter where I went.

Let me be clear about punishments and funishments. Punishments are something the sub honestly hates that are done for breaking a rule/protocol. But they can STILL safeword out if they feel unsafe or the Dom isn't listening to why they broke the rules. Not all punishments are sexual it could be boring like writing lines 100 times. They are typically used if you have outside the bedroom aspects to D/s . NEVER use punishments out of genuine anger or resentment for obvious reasons.

FUNihsments are things the sub likes but pretends to break rules over to set up the scene. E.g. I didn't wear blue today so I deserve a spanking! Subs that like to tease or make the Dominant 'work' for obedience are Brats.

D/s could be attractive for many different reasons. Pleasure of being someone's lust toy, the trust that you can share a desire not to be equals with someone that some people will never understand, the power and control of another within limits, relaxing your mind and just doing what the Dominant wants, earning praise of someone you love etc.

Next part is written as female Domme and male sub but can be flipped around.

What kind of Domme do you want to be? What does he respond to best? Have safewords in place and review limits just in case.

Nurturing: "Be a good boy and lick my special spot, the lady juice just means your doing a good job!" "I'm so proud of you for making me cum!"

Mocking/Degrader: "If I was fingering myself I'd have cum twice by now! You think that little tongue wagging is going to get me wet? Harder and faster you dumbass!"

Sadist:"I'm going to spank your ass while your down there and it's going to turn bright red and bruised, whine all you want but don't stop licking or I make it worse." For every 10 minutes I don't cum that's 5 whacks with my hairbrush after on your ass."

Nurturing Sadist: "I know it hurts but it makes me so happy your taking so much in dedication to me. I'll give you a break for two minutes, then just 10 more spanks, I know you can do it! After I promise to rub the lotion on your bruises and kiss them better. I'm proud of you."

Tease and deny him: "I'm going to sit on your face while your hands are tied/cuffed! I'm going to keep jerking you off until I feel like stopping, don't care if your sensitive after you cum, it makes me wet so I'm going to make you squirm! For extra effect every time he cums, immediately drop your pussy in his face so he knows orgasm=your scent & taste. You can also make him give you oral for every time he cums after. Make him thank you after.

Rub him out while he's still in his underwear and make him stay all wet in them afterwards because he is so dirty and it amuses you to see him in nothing but wet underpants. (Shower after).
Dirty talk/ownership: This is where you belong isn't it? You belong to me. You have stress outside here but the people at work don't know this is who you really are right? This is what you crave inside, being covered in marks and lady juice from me isn't it? You like the smell/taste/warmth don't you? Tell me how much of a dirty boy you are. Admit it, you love being my living sex toy.

Sensory: Blindfolds, gags, earplugs to remove senses to heighten anticipation. Need a new way to safeword, i.e. dropping something noisy like a cat toy or gesture with his arms if they're not tied. Tickling. Ice and hot wax (check the safety) for temperature fun. Gags are not really for rookies until trust and alternate safeword ready.

Role play: This can take many forms. Its make-believe for adults. Nurse costumes, a leash, a teacher's ruler, whatever you need to set the scene. Laugh if you need too but once you hit yours and his scenario you'll know.

Body worship: Make him kneel on the floor naked and kiss your feet/heels/boots. Put them close together and tell him his lips are not allowed to leave your skin so he must drag them over from side to side as he shifts from foot to foot.

Whip cream/other such food on your feet/nipples. Not your crotch it causes UTI. Lemon juice if you want to make him squirm but he wants you in his mouth so bad he'll do it (within limits of course).

Forbid him from touching himself while doing this, make him beg to put any part of you in his mouth because he's so horny. If you can reach the top of his head, dig your nails in slightly and massage the scalp. Trust me he'll probably melt.

Service subbing: More outside the bedroom, doing household chores to earn praise of the dominant. Get him naked to vacuum while you 'ignore' him clothed while reading on the sofa. He cooks for you and eats at your feet during meals alone at home, etc.

A little subtle outside the bedroom game to signal/turn you both on, (written as male Dom and female sub):when you as sub wear sandals to go out, the Dom expects at some point that she will 'casually' slip both feet out and be barefoot in front of others briefly as a symbol of the Dom's control even when others don't know; and a symbol the sub is horny and will be ready to be barefoot and naked at home whenever the Dom orders. Bonus if the sub's toenails are painted a color the Dom ordered, fingers too. A little game to let him know you are still attracted to him and feel up to sex when you set that up.

Have fun and stay safe, sane and consensual!

If you want to get out into the local community join Fetlife and look for munches nearby. Munches are public (vanilla) gatherings of kinksters as platonic friends like a hobby group. Not for speed dating or a meat market. 90% of the talk isn't even kink. Good for getting a vibe off others and learning about the other kinky events later on.

If you want a true story by someone on here: Darling Discovered, use Look Inside to read the prologue it gets the reader's attention:

https://www.amazon.com/Darling-Discovered-True-Story-Submission-ebook/dp/B01D3N5M3U

One of the hardest lessons for new submissives to understand is that Dominants are not mind readers. My husband and I transitioned into D/s together and I remember this struggle all too well. We want to let go of control because that's what turns us on but leave our partner with shoulders shrugged saying, "okay....but now what?" But if we detail what it is we want, it kills the fantasy.

Super common and super easy to fix my friend.

The answer lies in outside of the bedroom hard work and communication.

You guys need to discuss these new interests and fantasies at length in the non-sexy times. Find a BDSM checklist and go through each line together, talking about what is hot (or not) line by line. Keep a copy of answers for reference when things need refreshing in play over time.

Pick something you're both into and start there. Play, try it out. A couple days later, talk about the experience. Encourage each other to be honest because that's how you grow.

Try it out again, improving from the last time based on the new information.

Read together. Research together. Give her a task, such as, "Find 3 articles that you feel represent your interest in submitting" or "find the hottest kink porn you can and write a paragraph detailing what specifically is turning you on about it."

Start turning your preferences into expectations.

Like her in skirts instead of shorts? Tell her so.

Prefer her shaved bare? Let her know.

Like her on top? Demand it.

Your words, not just your body, have power.

You may find these resources helpful:

http://dominantguide.com/4472/three-major-categories-of-bdsm/

http://dominantguide.com/4436/defining-your-dominant-voice/

http://dominantguide.com/4386/responding-to-a-partner-revealing-a-desire-for-submission/

Here's a great one for her to read:

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2012/09/feeding-his-dominance-is-not-topping-from-below/

We've written about our first year transitioning from a vanilla, egalitarian marriage to a kinky D/s one in the book Darling Discovered. I've been told it's helpful for the new Dominant's experience as well.

You can go to Smashwords.com and find the book, Darling Discovered: A True Story of Submission, enter the code XM69Z, and receive a free ebook version.

Check out reviews and read a preview here: https://www.amazon.com/Darling-Discovered-True-Story-Submission-ebook/dp/B01D3N5M3U

It's nominated for Best BDSM Book at 2017 BDSM Writer's Con as well. The manuscript won the non-fiction category in 2015. It's creative non-fiction so it reads like fiction but is a true story.

I hope you find this info useful and I wish you all the best. Write anytime.

Right now: The Sorcerers Concubine, which I picked up expecting a trashy fantasy romance but have so far found to be very well written with very nice world building. The plot may turn out to be a standard magical-construct-girl meets travelling-sorcerer-boy job but having an author who can bring some depth to even the minor characters is a nice change in the fantasy porn supernatural romance genre.


---

Some others:

Critical Failures is probably the series I've enjoyed the most; it's got a hilarious absurdest style and I highly recommended it it to anyone that's every played tabletop RPGs with a bunch of people that seem intent on fucking around and derailing absolutely everything. The series has both novel sized "plot advancement" books and short independent stories that are the characters fucking up a specific situation.

> “I didn't say it was something good, and it depends on a lot of contingencies.”

>“What's a contingency?” asked Greely.

> “Shit that could go wrong.”

>“Yer plan depends on a lot of shit going wrong?” asked Greely. “I like them odds.”

---


The Dungeoneers is what happens when a dungeon is faced not by a party of adventurers but by a large well equipped team who systematically move through the dungeon with methods designed to minimize risk and maximize profits. Naturally things go wrong at some point. A very nice take on the invading-a-dungeon genre.

> “Made a mistake, did ye?”

> “No,” Durham said. “I solved a sheep murder.”

> Thud blew a smoke ring and took a pull on the flask, mulling that over. “Thinks ya might needs ta elaborate a bit on that, lad.”

> And so Durham told him. He told him of the strange ritualistic circumstances surrounding the discovery of the murdered sheep. He told him of the singular one-legged seamstress, the cryptic cipher tattoo and the secret fishmonger identity of the mysterious rogue, Harengs. He spoke of part of the evidence being eaten and another part being knitted into a lumpy sweater. And at last the reveal, when all of the seemingly disparate parts came together to show that it had been the victim’s sister Bluebell all along. By the time he was done, Mungo, Nibbly and Giblets had joined Thud in his audience.

> “The watch captain read my report,” Durham said, as he neared the tale’s end. “Laughed until he had tears running down his face then sentenced Bluebell to execution by way of being the main dish at the City Watch potluck. He at least remembers me now. Every time he sees me he asks if I have any new baaaffling cases and starts laughing again.”

---

Slammed In The Butt By My Hugo Award Nomination by hugo nominated author Chuck Tingle. He put this book out about 24 hours after he was nominated for a Hugo, and I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting but it wasn't a hilarious work of epic meta-fiction crammed into a short story. I seriously recommend this to everyone with a Kindle Unlimited membership, even if you're not into gay erotica; Chuck Tingle's massive library of work is full of satire, self referential humor and making fun of the genre conventions of indie-published erotica.

> As a fictional character, the very idea of me finding love within the lifespan of a short story is something to behold, a miracle that fills me with endless gratitude.

Autogenerated.

I'm AJ Ryder, author of paranormal and fantasy romance novels! The newest book in my Ballads of Cadarnle releases today! AMA!

Hi Reddit! My name is AJ Ryder and I've been writing/publishing romance and erotica to Amazon for almost a year! I started out with my Kinky Geeks series where the sexy inner geek in all of us gets to play out their wildest fantasies. From there I jumped into a world I've been working on for a long time: Cadarnle. My first book in this world was Bonds Eternal released back in February. And now, today, the second book in my epic high fantasy romance is finally here! The Beast's Beloved is a PNR (Paranormal Romance) between a peasant girl, Klaryssa, and her werewolf shifter mate, Dresdyn. I think anyone who likes fantasy romance or paranormal romance with love this epic tale!

The Beast's Beloved | Kinky Geeks | Website | Facebook | Goodreads | Amazon | Twitter

I'm here with u/amberburns who runs Scarlet Lantern Publishing and does the business side of things for me.

My Proof

Amber Burns' Proof

AMA! 😘


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IamAbot_v01. Alpha version. Under care of /u/oppon.
Comment 1 of 1
Updated at 2018-05-30 21:11:20.343584

Next update in approximately 20 mins at 2018-05-30 21:31:20.343612

It's live!

She Came Upon a Yeti – Overcome (Part 2)

A yeti expects a lot from a girl!

The alpha yeti has seduced Angela’s willing body and her reluctant mind, but Angela hasn’t yet realized… yetis mate for life. While Angela is thinking of going back to her old life, the yeti has other plans.

When his clan of lusty yetis come to play with her fertile body, Angela is again torn between her desires and her inhibitions. Can Angela set aside her prejudices and find happiness as the alpha yeti's plaything? Will she accept his love and become a vessel for his seed?

Does she have the strength to become the yeti’s mate?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XBM8J7F/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1488238036&sr=1-1

This is the second installment of the She Came Upon a Yeti paranormal romance series. It’s a fast read that will leave you aching for more. $2.99 on Amazon, or free with Kindle Unlimited!

Don't forget to check out the first in the series, She Came Upon a Yeti - Taken
https://www.amazon.com/She-Came-Upon-Yeti-Taken-ebook/dp/B01LOQMHN6/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1488238036&sr=1-2

+chucktinglethanks:

you are welcome i am glad that we could get through this way of TAXES together i know it can be very difficult sometimes but then it is a relief afterwards.

son jon is doing very good him and wife KLOWY are very happy we have lots of fun together. son jon has been playing game name of BUTTNITE which is subject of latest tingler so i like to watch this and cheer him on which is a fun way but normally i tell him to do the wrong thing but the other night he got first place and there was a big celebration and we trotted in the living room in a modern way then had CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM (this is chocolate milk but frozen)

you are welcome i am glad that we could get through this way of TAXES together i know it can be very difficult sometimes but then it is a relief afterwards.

son jon is doing very good him and wife KLOWY are very happy we have lots of fun together. son jon has been playing game name of BUTTNITE which is subject of latest tingler so i like to watch this and cheer him on which is a fun way but normally i tell him to do the wrong thing but the other night he got first place and there was a big celebration and we trotted in the living room in a modern way then had CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM (this is chocolate milk but frozen)

> Jeremy was never quite sure about his feelings for Oliver, his gay pet dinosaur, until Oliver scores big and leaves home to pursue his dreams of being a dancer.

> Years later, the two of them reconnect for dinner in New York City, and realize that there may have been more to their relationship besides prehistoric pet and master. Now a wealthy socialite, Oliver the triceratops is willing to take another chance on Jeremy, and soon the two find themselves locked in a passionate evening of gay human-dino love.

> This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on gay triceratops action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and prehistoric beast love.

Wow.

http://www.amazon.com/Billionaire-Triceratops-Craves-Gay-Ass-ebook/dp/B00QTTIJVI

Not video but I'm piping up anyway.

I started my blog exactly because I couldn't find content that showed hot, passionate, F/m interactions and relationships between real people (it's not a video, obviously, but still).

My book is full of hot F/m play: Domme Chronicles: Erotic tales of love, passion, & domination

Yes, I'm touting my own stuff, of course I'm biased :).

Ferns

It already has a sequel :


Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union"

Buck Trungle is in serious trouble. Struggling to find the inspiration for a follow up to his critically acclaimed short “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union", the erotica author finds himself desperate to stay relevant in the ever quickening press cycle.

But when Buck receives a love letter from the physical manifestation of his own book’s press coverage, he jumps at the chance to turn their short fling into something even more thrilling… something real. Soon enough, Buck and his sentient press are on a rooftop high above Billings, unraveling the secrets of The Tingleverse as they learn each other’s bodies.

Will Buck and his own living press find a way to prove their worth to the masses in the greatest meta spin-off of all time? Will a video of their hedonistic encounter be uploaded to the highest layer of The Tingleverse and that prove love is real? There’s only one way to find out.

This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on physically manifested press action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies and living marketing concept love

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Slammed-Substantial-Amount-Generated-Pounded-ebook/dp/B01HWROW0W/ref=pd_sim_351_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=KWGSESCZFB79AENAPJYJ

If you don't think you know how to do it properly, you need to tell her a head of time, and talk about how to proceed. Maybe make it a practice before you get deep into a scene. You can always focus on the other kinky stuff that you feel more confident about. Explore safely, sanely and consensually. And means being honest about your skill level.

There are a lot of books out there.
https://www.amazon.com/Shibari-You-Can-Use-Japanese-ebook/dp/B00S46RMNK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=shibari+ebook&qid=1572969064&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Knotty-Showing-Ropes-Step-Step/dp/193116049X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=shibari+books&qid=1572969143&sprefix=shibari+book&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Shibari-1-Douglas-Kent/dp/0973668814/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_3/191-1189122-4871707?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0973668814&pd_rd_r=3406f48b-63f6-4e69-9654-39f9dc5dd2ea&pd_rd_w=W7vb5&pd_rd_wg=cRP8r&pf_rd_p=6e6afc8a-fbbd-4649-97cf-4e08f5113612&pf_rd_r=7DX6V5JHWKR1S99KCEQ1&psc=1&refRID=7DX6V5JHWKR1S99KCEQ1

Be safe and have fun

Chuck Tingle books are amazing. I was especially impressed by the rapidity with which he came out with Slammed In The Butt By My Hugo Award Nomination. It was like three days after they got him on the ballot. And his twitter account, oh my God.

My favorite is Living Inside My Own Butt For Eight Years, Starting A Business And Turning A Profit Through Common Sense Reinvestment And Strategic Targeted Marketing

edit: followed CLOSELY by I'm In Love With The Handsome Mummy Racecar In My Butt

[Books, Talk, Comedy] Long Tails Live | Episode 1: She Came Upon a Yeti (Monster Erotica)

NSFW

Live at 3pm PST at: [Commentate.co] (http://Commentate.co) and [CommentateApp]
(https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/commentateapp/id1152230029?ls=1&mt=8)

On our first episode, we jump in the deep end with Clementine Le Bas, purveyor of fine smut and author of ["She Came Upon a Yeti"] (https://www.amazon.com/She-Came-Upon-Yeti-Taken-ebook/dp/B01LOQMHN6).

Long Tails Live explores polarizing content created by rebellious authors. We aren't interested in exploring "best sellers". With a creative revolution in our midst, we want to engage with the trailblazers creating niche content. Listen along LIVE through Commentate and join us for the discussion!

[Facebook] (https://www.facebook.com/Commentate/) // [Web Page] (http://Commentate.co) // Skype: Long Tails Live

Some good rope bondage resources I like -


Two Knotty Boys


Twisted Monk


The Duchy


Crash Restraint


If this is something you're really interested in and you don't mind spending some money on it, Shibari You Can Use and its sequel are good books to have on hand.


There's also /r/ropetutorials, but it seems like it's mostly people asking for help. I think there are some actual tutorials there if you dig enough though.

Oh, it is. I kinda want to read it tbh.

Edit: It appears it is free https://www.amazon.com/Xis-One-Sandra-Coupland-ebook/dp/B01N1XZ33L

Edit #2: I got it for free and read it. Yes, it includes sex with Xi Jinping in the last chapter. I really hope this book is a parody.

Didn't he also write "oppressed in the butt by my inclusive holiday coffee cups" as well?

EDIT: Yes. Yes he did. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017UW5POQ For your holiday delights.

I really like Caitlyn Lynch’s “Ranger Heat ” series. It’s available on Amazon, and the Dom is NOT an asshole, I promise!

And...at the risk of self-promotion, my “Kinky Geeks ” series doesn’t have any asshole Doms either...just sexy, insatiable geeks getting kinky with each other in the bedroom 😉

Either way, I HIGHLY recommend Caitlyn Lynch! 😘

This NSFW book has the best title I have ever seen. I'm honestly not certain it's possible to top this.

(Oh, gods, that last line sounded like a double entendre now. Look what you've done!)

It's thread titles like this that help motivate me to get up in the morning and put a smile on my face. I laugh every time I think about how the Hugo awards went full retard and then got pounded in the butt for their trouble

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

Sharyn Ferns is a dominant woman who runs the blog Domme Chronicles; she's also written a book called "Domme Chronicles: Erotic tales of love, passion, & domination", which I found particularly refreshing because it was written from the dominant woman's perspective.

Thank you!! If you want more CYOA erotica, check out Escape the Island of Eldritch Lust: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075889FNB or Suburban Sex Kitten Adventure: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQQIJS5 or The Easily Defeated Hero's Monster Girl Adventure: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MCYCF7W or The Dungeon of the Monster Breeder: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013PU6DZW

Also try Starlust: Bred by the Alien by Jay Aury and me: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07T5XC5F4

Or try Callista Hawkes: https://www.amazon.com/Callista-Hawkes/e/B00P247RXM

Or Shon Richards: https://www.amazon.com/Shon-Richards/e/B006ZLJXR4

> Together they succumb to sexy forbidden fruit and (often) he teaches her about the heights of pleasure.

Like Cum for Bigfoot

heres bigfoot erotica, for bonus laughs

The related books are all excellent. My favorite: http://www.amazon.com/Billionaire-Triceratops-Craves-Gay-Ass-ebook/dp/B00QTTIJVI/ref=pd_sim_kstore_9?ie=UTF8&refRID=1E6Q2PGQHFSJ3637CCDR

So it turns out a girl I recently went on a date with is am anti-vaxxer. I rather her turn out to be a man like all my other dates. The good news is, I’ve officially gone gay. And will be having my butt pounded by linear time. long calls for Amazon!

photoshop him onto a romance novel right now

http://www.amazon.com/Cum-Bigfoot-One-Books-1-5/dp/1478209828

There is an erotic novel about Xi Dada. Power is new sexy, I guess.

https://www.amazon.com/Xis-One-Sandra-Coupland-ebook/dp/B01N1XZ33L

Living Inside My Own Butt For Eight Years, Starting A Business And Turning A Profit Through Common Sense Reinvestment And Strategic Targeted Marketing

>After a horrific car accident, Travis finds himself stuck with a seemingly insurmountable stack of medical bills. Desperate for work and drowning in debt, he’s left with nowhere to turn until the wealthy investor, Barko, enters his life.

>Barko knows a good butthole investment when he sees one, and soon enough he is hard at work turning Travis’s anal passageway into a successful vineyard and real estate development known as Plobus Valley, an attractive name that translates to “place of sweet riches” in the language of the natives who inhabit Travis’s body.

>Through common sense reinvestment, Barko and Travis develop this butthole into a thriving business, but as the two of them approach eight years of partnership, a dark secret threatens to tear them apart and pound their butts.

>This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on gay sentient business strategy action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and butthole investment love.

This one is really popular, as well as it's sequel.

Try the Space Raptor Butt Trilogy by Dr. Chuck Tingle. You may have to read it a couple of times for it to really sink in, but it really helped me get worse.

After you finish that you should easily be able to digest Dr. Tingle's more advanced works. I'd recommend starting with Slammed In The Butthole By My Concept Of Linear Time (4th Edition).

That's just a cheap imitation of better books like Taken by the T-rex, [Sexy Underwater Lock Ness Adventure] (https://www.amazon.com/Sexy-Underwater-Loch-Ness-Adventure-ebook/dp/B00RSUD2QE) or the entire Cum for Bigfoot series.

Auto-mod wouldn't let me post the link directly, so here you go:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CRTTHMY

Chuck Tingle is hilarious, but definitely did not expect this. The cover art isn't especially relevant though.

Or better yet, well get a sequel to http://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Butt-My-Book-Own-ebook/dp/B018ZZQKJQ/ref=la_B00SF2MTYK_1_20?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462102019&sr=1-20&refinements=p_82%3AB00SF2MTYK

Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups is an erotic novel by Chuck Tingle.

>Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

>Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"'"

it's... it's beautiful

Meta-book about the popularity of the book


Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union"

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01HWROW0W/ref=pd_aw_sim_351_3/253-0503810-8471017?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=V9H82KP5S6WBD6SGYYPK

I was involved, see HERE and it was literally the week of my conquest of Parthia lol.

As for the horses, I'm aiming for this. Horses could also use scale armor, but if you prefer it to be a single tech, sure.

I don't want feedback, I want unstinting praise! :D

That said, [here's my latest gem] (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UTWMSDQ)

The premiere writer in gay dinosaur erotic fiction was nominated for a Hugo award. And wrote a book about that too.

https://www.amazon.com/Slammed-Butt-Hugo-Award-Nomination-ebook/dp/B01EUC93RE

dont forget "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"", "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"""", and of course, the thrilling "Buttception: a butt within a butt" (these links are nsfw obviously)

Who could possibly pick a favourite when the good doctor's works include such tinglers as Turned Gay By The Existential Dread That I May Actually Be A Character In A Chuck Tingle Book, Living Inside My Own Butt For Eight Years, Starting A Business And Turning A Profit Through Common Sense Reinvestment And Strategic Targeted Marketing, and the renowned Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'"'".

It’s free, for anyone interested

You need to read some of Chuck Tingle's books.. like this one. Some fine work he writes.

So what you're saying is your billionaire triceritops ... doesn't crave gay ass? :)

This makes me wish for a high-budget movie adaptation of Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'".

relevant: Oppressed in the Butt by my Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups

Perhaps you all would be interested in some tasteful socialist erotica (with Chinese characteristics): https://www.amazon.com/Xis-One-Sandra-Coupland-ebook/dp/B01N1XZ33L/ref=nodl_

It's definitely up there with some of his more meta works...

Like this one ?

Sounds like a Chuck Tingle book waiting to be written,
Bicep Charles and the barbell in my butt prostate massage affair.

I'm a big fan of the series:

• Pounded in the Butt by my Own Butt
  
  
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"
  
  
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'"
  
  
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"'"
  
  
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'"'"
  
  
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"'"'

Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he's created?

Did you catch his follow up, 'Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union"' ?

Oh god, that first one has two sequels, Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" and, as if that weren't meta enough, Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'".

And Chuck just announced his new release, Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union"!

That series goes 2 levels deeper, iirc.

Also, don't forget Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union and, of course, its sequel, Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union".

A little too tentacular for my tastes, but her eyes are amazing.

Also, the actual book itself is just as terrible as I imagined.

Serious answer: https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062457714/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck

Joke answer: https://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/145584165X

MISTERY ANSWER: https://www.amazon.com/Billionaire-Triceratops-Craves-Gay-Ass-ebook/dp/B00QTTIJVI

>Escape the Island of Eldritch Lust (Princess to Pleasure Slave Adventure 2)

Full title https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Eldritch-Princess-Pleasure-Adventure-ebook/dp/B075889FNB, so it's porn. I guess titles are effective:

>His words trail off as you slide from your bench onto your hands and knees and crawl over to him. You gaze hungrily into his eyes as you climb onto his lap. You pull your skirt up and settling your plump bottom atop him. You unbutton your shirt and expose the soft, ample mounds of your breasts cradled by the lace of your bra. He gazes up at you with a surprised grin on his face. You thrust your breasts into his face, smothering his nose and warm lips in the valley between your tits.

>Bog reaches around and grabs your ass with both hands. He moans with lust, his breath hot in your cleavage as he begins kissing the tops of your tits. You unbuckle your bra and shrug it off, feeling a thrill at exposing yourself to this man who is practically a stranger. He ogles your erect nipples and your creamy mounds, but keeps his hands squeezing and cradling your ass in his lap.

Don't forget the third book in the series! Pounded in the Butt by my book "pounded in the butt by my book 'pounded in the butt by my own butt'"

https://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Butt-My-Book-Own-ebook/dp/B018ZZQKJQ

https://www.amazon.com/Slammed-Butthole-Concept-Linear-Time-ebook/dp/B01A92WFXI

https://www.amazon.com/Cum-Bigfoot-One-Books-1-5/dp/1478209828

Hey, some of us do know about linear time. Here's a treatise from a Hugo nominated author about it

Yes, it has been.

already did that

Cum for Bigfoot...

http://smile.amazon.com/Cum-Bigfoot-One-Books-1-5/dp/1478209828/ref=la_B005F0X462_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408721200&sr=1-1

If Chuck Tingle could write our new reality it'd be a big step up.

https://www.amazon.com/Billionaire-Triceratops-Craves-Gay-Ass-ebook/dp/B00QTTIJVI

Gonna be committees all the way down.

https://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Butt-My-Book-Own-ebook/dp/B01ATM6I0O

Archives for links in comments:

• By C4Cypher (amazon.com): http://archive.is/4UWUL
  
• By C4Cypher (en.wikipedia.org): http://archive.is/1vjbI
  
  ----
  I am Mnemosyne 2.0, We watch. And we are always here.^^^^/r/botsrights ^^^^Contribute ^^^^Website

HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND

https://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Gayness-Dinosaur-Transitioning-Unicorn-ebook/dp/B00YSLQEVG

Oh

my

god.

Are

these

all

actual

books?

Idk

why,

but

I

love

this.

http://www.amazon.com/Cum-For-Bigfoot-Volume-Books/dp/1478209828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412463411&sr=8-1&keywords=cum+for+Bigfoot

amazon.com/dp/F938REID0V

This is barely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Chuck Tingle. His novels could probably put this sub out of business.

Example

and another

this is real lol

Best I could find

I tried that once, but then I was https://www.amazon.com/Slammed-Butthole-Concept-Linear-Time-ebook/dp/B01A92WFXI

Does it involve dinosaurs and extreme gay sex acts?

Oh it can't be that b.... oh... oh my...

Fire up an incognito window

https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Eldritch-Princess-Pleasure-Adventure-ebook/dp/B075889FNB

So, in other words, a Chuck Tingle book.

Pounded in the butt by my own butt

Chuck Tingle is a national treasure

He's gone full meta guys
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01HWROW0W/ref=pd_aw_sim_351_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2ZR605GQN439B53J6XM6

Here is the mobile version of your link

Virginia Wade's got you covered: https://www.amazon.com/Cum-Bigfoot-One-Books-1-5/dp/1478209828

Lol. In seriousness, this kind of thing has maybe happened occasionally, but it's gotta be almost unheard of. I seem to remember Mary Green's habituation accounts have something like it but I could be wrong.

See also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZiMknx9wJE

For less messy amazon links you can extract the part after "/dp/" in

https://www.amazon.com/Slammed-Butthole-Concept-Linear-Time-ebook/dp/B01A92WFXI/

and make it:

https://amzn.com/B01A92WFXI

BEEP BOP

Plz send any recommendations via PM

It's real. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00QTTIJVI?ie=UTF8&redirectFromSS=1&pc_redir=T1&noEncodingTag=1&robot_redir=1



I have the weirdest boner right now...

How about Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"? Or the thrilling sequel, Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'"?

It keeps going.

Or there's Angry Man Pounded By The Fear Of His Latent Gayness Over A Dinosaur Transitioning Into A Unicorn, if that's what you prefer.

I found this and the follow up sequel here

Warning: NSFW

The tragic irony: Dr. Chuck Tingle is his nom de plume IRL.

Edit: for legal purposes, I wish to make it clear that this comment is tongue in cheek. AFAIK, the hateful and asinine commenter has no relationship to Tingle, who is merely horny and asinine.

o_

in case anyone's google is broke: https://www.amazon.com/Xis-One-Sandra-Coupland-ebook/dp/B01N1XZ33L

It gets worse.
Much worse.

I have not, nor will I ever, read this (saw it mentioned on one of the io9 sites last night), but the title had me in serious stitches:

http://www.amazon.com/Cum-For-Bigfoot-Volume-Books/dp/1478209828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396494884&sr=8-1&keywords=cum+for+bigfoot

As I understand it that was a shitty attempt to imitate Chuck Tingle by one of the Puppies.

What I'm saying is, don't go out of your way.

(edited to add link)

Sad Puppies and Rabid Puppies. Oversimplified nutshell: Gamergate leakage.

A couple years ago, Larry Correia (Monster Hunter International) and Brad Torgersen (a number of midlength works that are apparently very good) decided to shake up the Hugos, which they saw as too ivory-tower progressive, by getting some of their works nominated, also other young right-leaning writers, and a few stinkers.

One of those stinkers, an author going by the pen name Vox Day (because misspelling "The Voice of God" isn't pathetic) has kept the same tantrum going way past its expiration date. I suppose I should note some of his works, so The War in Heaven (game and novel), SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police, and organizing GGinParis.

He's just crazy enough to think that sane people would find Chuck Tingle offensive, instead of just silly and a good sport about the whole thing. (My experience has always been that authors of self-published and fanfic porn don't take anything too seriously.)

So, anyway, Sad Puppies was to make a point. Rabid Puppies is because Day doesn't realize he's now making a mockery of himself.

My favorite takes on the issue have come from Marko Kloos, one of the right-leaning young authors whom Correia and Torgerson picked for nomination, and George R. R. Martin (this year's followup) .