Reddit mentions: The best waterproof mattress covers

Hi Bumpers! I’ve loved reading everyone’s birth stories, especially as my due date drew near, and I finally have a chance to sit down and do my very own. I tried to include as much useful detail as possible, so here goes:


At my last prenatal appointment I was 1 cm/80% effaced. On Sunday 9/4, I was 3 days past my due date but felt the same as any other day over the previous couple weeks. I was convinced I would need to be induced later that week. I had not lost my mucus plug, had no bloody show, and hadn’t felt LO drop very deep into my pelvis, so, basically, no signs that labor was approaching. I treated myself to a prenatal massage to pass the time.


That evening around 9pm, I had what I thought was a Braxton Hicks contraction that was also slightly painful in my lower abdomen. It could easily have gone unnoticed. I’d been having Braxton Hicks extremely frequently for several months, so this felt very much like those (tightening/hardening across belly) except for the very mild pain. I mentioned it to DH and started timing my contractions, just in case.


I continued to have what I assumed were Braxton Hicks (given the none-loss of my mucus plug and absence of any other signs of labor) and timed them to be anywhere from 4 minutes to 8 minutes apart. DH thought it could be labor but I was skeptical since the contractions were extremely mild. DH made dinner and I baked an apple pie and we went about our evening while still timing the contractions.


The contractions continued through dinner, so around 10:30 PM DH and I debated calling the hospital. I was scared of going in and getting sent home, so since DH is a doctor I had him check my cervix. He had to think back to his med school and residency days, but he estimated that I was about 2.5 cm and fully effaced. That was enough to convince me to call the hospital and we were told to come get checked out. We packed the rest of our hospital bags, grabbed the car seat, and headed to the hospital (only 5 minutes away) around midnight.


When we checked into L&D triage, I was all smiles and was apologetic that we were taking up these people’s time when I was probably just in early or prodromal labor. The contractions had continued but were still super mild (a 1/10 on the pain scale) and I was convinced they would stop as soon as the monitor was attached to me. My triage nurse said she could tell by my face and calmness that they’d be sending me home that night. At 1:15 AM she checked my cervix and said I was 1 cm, so we assumed DH was just a little out of practice and had been mistaken when he checked me and thought I was 2cm. The contractions did show up on the monitor, however, so they told us we could go home or we could walk the halls for 2 hours and get rechecked for any progress.


We opted to walk the halls. As we did, the contractions started to pick up a little in intensity in the sense that where a BH felt like tightening of the front of my abdomen, this felt like a three-dimensional tightening, like a sphere in my belly that was getting tighter. Each contraction would start with a tightening sensation, then start to be a throbbing pain, the pain would subside but the tightening would remain, and then the tightening would finally subside. When I stopped to rest, I could actually feel the contraction pulling my lady bits apart. By the end of the two hours, I did have to focus somewhat on my breathing during the contractions, though they still weren’t super painful (maybe a 2-3/10).


At 3:15 AM, the nurse checked me again and said I was still 1cm. I asked about effacement and she said 50%. That should have been a red flag that she was not the best cervix-checker, since I had been 80% at my last 3 OB visits. In hindsight, I think DH had been spot on when he checked me at home.


Because (according to the triage nurse) there was no progress, they sent me home and advised that the contractions would probably peter out and that when I started to sound like the woman in the next curtain (who was moaning like crazy and was someone I NEVER wanted to sound like), that’s when they’d keep me. They gave me a mild sedative and sent us on our way.


We went home and got in bed around 3:45 AM. By then, the contractions were at a 4/10. As soon as my head hit the pillow, a contraction hit that had me audibly moaning (a 5-6/10). The contractions continued and I was unable to sleep. The sedative they had given me made me feel a little groggy but did nothing to ease the pain or help me sleep. At 6 AM I tried taking a bath and woke DH to help me time the contractions and decide what to do. The bath felt nice but the contractions continued and I vomited after one of them. We called over to the hospital and were told to come back, so off we went.


By the time we got to triage (around 7:30 AM), I was that moaning lady. The contractions were a 7/10 and I was vomiting. A triage nurse (different from the first one) came to check me and I told her I was terrified I would still be at 1 cm. She checked me, smiled, and said, “You’re not at 1 cm.” I burst out crying, I was so happy. She said I was 4-5 cm. I asked if I could have the epidural now and she immediately paged anesthesia.


We got moved to a delivery room and the epidural team arrived around 8:30 AM. They gave me a lidocaine shot first that was just a tiny pinch and then I didn’t feel any of the epidural administration, which apparently took them a few tries. They gave me an epidural plus a spinal because the spinal would act immediately. Within 5 minutes of the medicine flowing, my legs started feeling warm and heavy. About 10 minutes into the epidural, the monitor picked up a contraction that I couldn’t feel—I was in heaven! The only negative side effect I had was mild itchiness as the epidural wore off.


For the next couple hours, DH and I just hung out and waited for me to progress. My OB was on call that day, which was fantastic. At 10:50 AM they checked my cervix and I was 7 cm. My water broke during the exam and I kept feeling gushes with each contraction, which felt oddly soothing.


Around this time, I started feeling pressure in my butt, as if someone was biting my right butt cheek (that’s the best way I can describe the sensation—though the nurses looked at me like I was crazy when I told them that). The pressure was uncomfortable but bearable.


At 12:40 PM they put the “peanut” between my legs (big inflatable peanut-shaped ball) to widen my pelvis and help LO move down. This part was pretty uncomfortable since the pressure in my butt was getting more intense.


At 1:30 PM I was at 10 cm so we did a practice push. LO’s head was starting to come through so we immediately jumped to real pushes. At first it felt just like a poop, so I pushed exactly as if I was trying to poop and made great progress getting LO down the birth canal. After about 50 minutes of pushing, at 2:18 PM, my little girl was born.


She was absolutely perfect. Apgar was 9/9. We did skin-to-skin right away and tried breastfeeding. She latched and ate like a champ for about an hour.


I had a minor 1st degree tear that got stitched and my recovery has been great. I got by for the most part on Motrin and Tylenol, but also got a 5mg oxycodone when cramping got really bad during breastfeeding (PSA: breastfeeding causes painful uterine cramping; I did not know that going into this!). Aside from that, I’ve been feeling pretty good!


Things that were/weren’t useful at the hospital:

• Clothes - I ended up wearing my hospital gown during the entire hospital stay, so I never touched any of the clothes that I packed for the hospital except for when we went home
  
  
• Long iPhone charger – if you don’t have one already, invest in one for you and your support person
  
  
• Eye mask – this came in handy when I tried to nap while LO slept during the day
  
  
• Nursery – take advantage if your hospital offers it; with LO in the nursery, DH and I actually got some decent sleep
  
  Postpartum thoughts
  
  
• Breastfeeding took some practice. When my milk came in, LO had a tough time latching since my boobs got too firm. I had to pump to make it possible for her to latch. At 9 days out, we are now getting the hang of the whole thing and breastfeeding has gotten a lot easier, so my advice is to stick with it and just know that it WILL get easier
  
  
• Cloth diapers make for amazing burp clothes. I use 2-3 per breastfeeding session
  
  
• Dental bibs (https://www.amazon.com/Avalon-Papers-1053-Dental-Polyback/dp/B0025TWH8C/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1473890336&sr=8-2&keywords=dental+bib) and disposable underpads (https://www.amazon.com/Dynarex-Disposable-Underpad-inches-Count/dp/B005X0U43K/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1473890356&sr=8-2&keywords=underpads) have really come in handy. We use the underpads for poopsplosions and changes on-the-go and dental bibs for all other diaper changes. That way, we don’t have to wash the changing pad liner as often.
  
  
• I was pretty grossed out with my postpartum body when we got home from the hospital (3 days PP). My boobs got enormous and everything looked super round and pudgy. My weight was only down 8lbs, 7 of which was baby, so I felt pretty bad. I hated how all my maternity and nursing tops looked over my hips and belly. I’m only on day 9 now, but I’ve already begun to look and feel more like my pre-baby self. My boobs have gone down to a more manageable size and everything else is starting to look less round. So, to any ladies who might feel similarly, hang in there and keep in mind that everything will feel better in just a few days.
  
  
• Google Express. OMG Google Express. We signed up for a free three-month trial, and they will go to Costco (and other stores) for you and get you all the diapers and wipes you could possibly need.
  
  And, finally, baby tax: http://imgur.com/a/qbjmF

Fellow new mom here, with two thoughts:

Not sure if they were readily available when you had your older son, but as /u/Aida_Hwedo noted below, puppy pads are the bomb for covering changing tables (and anything else you want to remain poop and pee free, like if you’re changing the diaper on your bed or couch or the floor). If you search amazon for “chux pad” (that’s the kind without the dog attractant smell, made just for humans), they can be SUPER cheap. These are my current favorite - its a pack of 100 for $15.58, and you can even use the same one several times if it happens to stay clean. Game changers, seriously.

Second, I had a fairly similar experience to yours. Extended family vaccine resistance, a bunch of physical and emotional stress, spiking blood pressure leading to a very sudden early delivery (we had a c-section on 30 minutes’ notice at 35 weeks), followed by a NICU stay, separation from the baby, and postpartum health issues (continued high BP and foot/leg swelling, and an incision infection). So I feel confident in saying that handling the level of shittiness you described in your post, along with bonus stress from FAB being a self-absorbed, self-righteous shithead, means that you’re a big damn hero. And you and your DH are both saints for not utterly eviscerating her. FAB can go choke on an entire damn pineapple.

Okay, now that my rage is out of the way - I want you to know that it will get better. Therapy helps (I ended up diagnosed with PPA, which honestly isn’t surprising, considering). Postpartum support groups help a lot too. But more than anything, it just takes time. We’re half a year out now, and things feel WAY different than they did in the first few weeks. I still use a pulse oximeter sock with my baby every time he sleeps (we use the Owlet), because it helps me relax knowing that an alarm will go off if he’s in trouble - I won’t accidentally miss it or sleep through it. You mentioned that you still use one yourself. I’ve found that babywearing helped a LOT with my anxiety, especially early on. Whatever you find that works for you, run with it. Take the damn hair dryer with you. (Ignore the trash blog; it was just the only one I could find with an excerpt of the story. The original post is much more interesting, but a whole lot longer.)

I hope that in time, you’re able to feel peace again, and settle in nicely with the new addition to your family. You did what you had to do, and went through hell to get your baby out safely. Your baby is here now, and safe. You are here, and safe. Your other son and your DH are here with you, and love you, and they’re safe. Nobody can take that away from you.

I’ll see if I can go find an extra-spiky pineapple for FAB.

Washable bedding for the piggy enclosure:

-Bottom layer: bed liner pads, there are dozens of different size options available on amazon, so you can find ones that will fit your enclosure dimensions.

-Middle layer: Moisture wicking "sheepette" faux wool. Soft and provides a thick, dry layer between the piggies and the urine absorbing bed liner pad. Easy to cut to size.

-Top layer: regular fleece fabric (if you buy new fleece, wash in hot water with unscented detergent and some Borox powder, this helps remove any moisture repelling chemicals on the surface of the fabric that will prevent urine from quickly absorbing). I get the plain fleece blankets that come in a roll from ikea, they're large and inexpensive, you can cut them to the sizes you need. Or if you want to get fancy you can go to a craft store that sells fabric.

I put my 3 layers in the enclosure, then take the top fleece layer and tuck it in on all sides so the piggies don't lift up the fleece to hide underneath it.

Feed good food. I feed my piggies Sherwood pellets, and i order hay from Small Pet Select. The bigger the box/bag you order, the more money you save. Also, NEVER buy hay at petco or petsmart. Their prices are OUTRAGEOUS. 20$ for 5lbs of oxbow, insane! I pay 72$ for a 60lb box of hay from Small Pet Select (i have quite a few pigs lol need a lot of hay). If i bought hay from petco, 60lbs would cost me like 240$.

Feed healthy veggies every day. Fruit should be a RARE treat. I only give my pigs a little bit of fruit once every 2-3 weeks. Fruit is just natures candy, its not really healthy, its a special treat and should not be a part of a guinea pigs regular diet. Raspberry is one of the lowest sugar fruits so its a good choice for the occasional treat.
Always rinse veggies well before feeding. Red/orange/yellow bell peppers are extremely high in vitamin c so they are fantastic as part of a daily piggy salad. Other good veggies are green leaf, red leaf and romaine lettuce, celery, cucumber, escarole (aka curly endive). Fresh herbs in moderation bc they have high calcium contents. I never give my pigs things like kale, spinach or broccoli, too much calcium and oxalates. Carrots have quite a bit of sugar (not as much as fruit though) so i only give a little carrot 2x per week.

I give my piggies a Sherwood joint support tablet daily to help prevent arthritis bc guinea pigs are extremely prone to developing arthritis in their knees (my vet told me most pigs have significant arthritis in the knees by age 4 and it is certainly not comfortable).

Last thing i can think of that i think its important for piggy owners to know is that piggies are very sensitive to sound, they don't like loud TV/music/etc. I leave classical music on a low volume for my piggies on a radio or streaming from my computer (WQXR and KUSC are great classical stations you can stream online or on those smart speaker devices a lot of people are getting these days). Its nice for them to have something pretty and soothing to listen to, makes their living environment more interesting.

Guinealynx.org is a very good resource for piggy info.

I bathe my piggies once per year, using Gorgeous Guineas shampoo. Its an adorable little company and they sell affordable shampoo, even some in very small bottles so those with just 2 piggies dont need to spend money on big bottles theyll never get close to finishing off.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of women squirt and guys love it! My wife is a squirter. The orgasms she has when she squirts are also usually the most intense ones. I can usually make her orgasm and squirt very easily just with g-spot stimulation, but she also squirts from PIV and even just from giving me blowjobs by stimulating her vagus nerve (really amazing!).

Just get a few of these to throw down under you for easy cleanup https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details?th=1

Enjoy the pleasure you get from your orgasms! Us guys love it! Be proud of the amazing things your body can do.

> Generic /r/sex[1] advice, tell him how his actions made you feel. Find out if it is specifically sleeping in the aftermath that bugs him or if it's something else all together. Maybe he just feels unclean afterwards and wants to go get a wash but thinks telling you that may hurt your feelings? I find squirting hot but if I'm on the bottom I get soaked and after the fact, it gets all cold and not a great all round feeling. It may bother him more than it bothers me.

I think this advice started in the right direction, but quickly turned into a question of problem-solving. She came here because her husband hurt her feelings, and that needs to be addressed before worrying about why he doesn't like sleeping on a wet bed.

I think OP's husband reacted insensitively to the situation. I think she feels blamed for something that happened involuntarily out of what was supposed to be an act of love and intimacy.

Of course, Husband has needs too, but it appears that both partners are having difficulty communicating their respective needs (or recognizing each other's), and that is getting in the way of their intimacy. She can't anticipate his or pull them out of him, but she can share hers first and then ask for his in return.

OP, here is what I recommend you do: speak to your husband objectively about what happened and how it made you feel (i.e., even though I think his actions were insensitive, please try your best to keep such judgments out of the initial discussion). Be sure to consider that sometimes, it's what he didn't do that hurt your feelings.

> When you went to sleep in the other room last night, I felt hurt and embarrassed - especially because you didn't invite me to come sleep with you.

Then, express a good faith desire to resolve the issue together and strengthen your bond

> Physical intimacy with you is important to me. I want to feel good about it, and I want you to feel good about it, too.

This is when I think it makes most sense to ask what he's feeling.

> Can you tell me what you were feeling when I squirted the other night? I know you might be worried that your response could hurt my feelings, but I'll do my best to listen, accept, and understand the truth.

And then you can work on a solution!

From a practical perspective, there's a handy solution to this that's been posted before.

(Long story short, OP from that thread really loves these pads.)

For PP care (uncomplicated vaginal birth, 1st degree tear) I used Depends Adult Diapers (maybe 20? Had a few left over), Dermoplast (the blue can!!!), Tucks Pads, and made padsicles (20ish) before hand (extra large maxi pads, alo vera gel, alcohol free witch hazel, a spattering of tea tree oil, pop in freezer). Hands down would recommend. My hospital didn't send me home with any supplies so I'm glad I went ahead and got some "just in case" items before hand. The adult diapers were pretty much like wearing comfy granny panties, not at all "diaper feeling" like I thought they'd be, and I could pop a padsicle in every few hours easy peasy without worrying about ruining underpants or leaking everywhere. Once the Depends needed to be changed out I'd just trash the whole thing and start fresh. No clean up - 10/10.

Pricing everything out I've listed (lazily) on Amazon my "kit" would be around $80, but you can find these things for much cheaper in CVS or your local drug store. Looking at the quantities included in your kit I'm thinking you'd have to buy additional products anyway (more pads for sure, more briefs most likely, and I'm not sure how easy it is to clean the compresses but the padsicles are awesome and disposable, major plus in my book). I'm not sure it's as great a kit as it looks at first glance.

ETA - I didn't need these for PP care but I do love having chux for the kiddo. I have a few in the diaper bag and lay them on nasty public changing tables before I lay down his changing pad for an extra layer of protection (and so I don't drag a dirty pad back into the diaper bag).

As others said liberator makes a blanket but honestly this is what I'd recommend: The northshore champion washable underpad from Amazon!!! https://www.amazon.com/NorthShore-Champion-Washable-Underpad-X-Large/dp/B001IN46NU its a machine washable big like mat that's fairly soft on one side (not fluffy like a blanket but it's soft) and if you put it under you (you can get a big one, mine is like the width of half the bed) it holds an incredible amount of liquid and most of the reviews show that people are using it for squirting. There's even a now-famous Reddit post about it: /r/sex/comments/nvdnu/my_perfect_solution_for_squirters_and_the_mess_we/

It's inexpensive, totally reusable and easy to pop in the washing machine and you can buy a couple to have on hand. And waaaaay easier than washing the sheets!!

Honestly, I let them do their thing, and than clean up afterwards. Poops are picked up with tissue, and odors can be addressed by sprinkling some baking soda, letting it sit, and than vaccuming.

For stains, I recommend Folex which is hands down the best carpet cleaner I have ever tried. Even if you don't have pigs, you should have some of this stuff on hand.

I always love these absorbent washable pads which are super absorbent and waterproof. I actually use these in my pigs' cage under the fleece, and wash them weekly. I think have a bigger size than the one I linked to, so find the best size for you. I think the brand is northshore.

Good luck!

I’m so so sorry. I managed my pup’s epilepsy for almost 9 years. Everything below is shared with the best intentions, and is based on my experiences only - I’m not a vet or anything.

I did CBD for the first several years after my pup’s initial seizures without conventional meds - but I did a massive dose each day (probably the recommended dose for your pup, and my guy was 13 lbs). Maybe try it again?

I also did during-seizure Valium rectally. It didn’t stop the current seizure, but it safeguarded against cluster seizures. Don’t let them compound it into plastic - it will degrade the Valium almost immediately. I got a glass vial and drew up a syringe, took off the needle, and put it in him via needle-less syringe. It’s not as hard as it may sound.

The other thing that made things slightly easier was jumbo quilted made-for-human pee pads. Not doggie ones. Doggie ones actually have attractant to encourage peeing on them. I spread the pee pads on the floor of my master bathroom. When pup had a seizure, I’d get him in the bathroom, basically carrying him with a blanket, and the pads helped ease cleanup (even a little helps). I just laid the blanket on the pee pads. For the last 2 years there were pads under blankets on my bed, on his bed, in his crate, and during seizures in the bathroom.

Medline Heavy Absorbency Underpads, 36" x 36" Quilted Fluff and Polymer Disposable Underpad, 50 Per Case, Great Protection as Bed Pads and Pee Pads https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002NHIFNW

Please don’t feel bad about crating him after the seizure. The post ictal period can be an hour or so, and they are super disoriented. Crating would keep him safe and secure.

I’m thinking of you, and sending you a virtual hug.

So you probably won't read this as you've got a ton of replies, but I'll throw my own into the mix.

My current SO and I use this particular absorbent pad. It's ridiculous how much fluid it can hold. I have no clue how other people answering here are able to just use towels (especially beach towels lol). My SO manages to soak through 4 layers of towels and I don't want to constantly wash towels lol.

To be completely honest, I casually saw another squirter a while back and I wasn't a huge fan of it. It was exciting/fun at first, but then it kinda became annoying. That was for a casual relationship though. With that said, I love my current SO very much and really enjoy making her squirt. Originally she was pretty self-conscious and apparently embarrassed about it. I reassured her that I enjoy it and want to make her feel good. She still gets a little grossed out by herself, but we laugh about it.

My advice to you is to be upfront to partners about this before you get too intimate like, "just so you know, I tend to get very very wet when I get too excited." I'd hope they get the hint. If things transpire and they are childish about it or even make you feel bad, remember there are many other people out there that won't.

I like putting pretty much everything I own on half.com. You don't get charged for making listings, and they stay on forever. They do take a cut off of what you make, but it's nice being able to make listings for even the most esoteric items and have someone pick it up a couple of months down the line.

Even though I sell a bunch of books, CD's, and video games for the bare minimum ($0.75), you get compensated for the shipping (which is usually more than necessary) and it's such a nicer feeling selling something than throwing it out.

I buy large tyvek envelopes in bulk, and use medical pads for the padding and I can pretty much fit anything in there (books, CD's, games, etc).

It's not much, but I always make $50-75/mo. which is great considering I never use the things I sell and like freeing up space.

If you have a good enough relationship, you should be able to be honest with her. You need her to be 100% confident that you love her squirting and you DO NOT want her to stop. On the other hand, you don't want to soak your mattress every time she squirts. IMO, there isn't a stealthy way to protect your mattress and sheets.

Once you've had this heart to heart conversation, you need to make some investments to deal with her beautiful eruptions. First get a plastic mattress cover. Second, get washable/waterproof bedpad to put under her beforehand.

Something Like This

I was so turned on by the thought of a girl squirting that I taught my wife how to! It took a while for her to become comfortable and learn how to just let go, but it was so worth it. She doesnt always squirt, but when she does it is the fucking hottest thing ever. She loves it too, and says that it is a completely different feeling of orgasm. So embrace it, you are one of the lucky ones! I am sure some men find it gross, but then again some men find eating pussy gross. Just move along when you come across one, because there are plenty of us out there that absolutely love it.

While towels make an ok last resort, I HIGHLY recommend THESE

-Wash clothes, blankets, sheets, etc for baby now. Laundry should be last on your priority list when you bring him home!

-Buy these now. You'll also want to have nursing pads at the ready for when your milk comes in. (I totally didn't even think about it, and when my milk came in, I had to sleep with diapers on my boobs until stores opened the next day.

-Make sure your SO packs enough clothes for the hospital. Double check his bag. I trusted mine to be able to handle it, and he packed a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of socks. No pajamas, underwear, undershirts, or deodorant.

-Make goody bags for your nurses. They won't admit to it, but they'll like you more. You'll have one every 12 hours for L&D, and then usually one for you and one for baby every 12 hours in the Mother/Baby unit. I included a pack of M&M's, pop chips, reese's cups, a pack of gum, and some trail mix.

-If you deliver vaginally, you might be more comfortable sleeping in a chair the first couple of nights. I loved the recliner at the hospital and my husband rather enjoyed getting to sleep in the bed.

These things are the best! My husband and I use them and have hadn’t had to change our sheets. All of our fluids stay in the pad. I’m a squirter, so this is an awesome buy for us. It doesn’t feel like a towel or a pee pad. It’s comfortable to lay on. I honestly forget it’s there in the midst of things.


NorthShore Champion, 35 x 47, 31 oz, Washable Underpad, X-Large, Each https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001IN46NU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_bEtRBbZDQA1KG

Its super hot, dated a girl who squirted for a while. Plenty of guys will agree, and those who dont? Well, dont waste time on them.

Also, Amazon sells great waterproof pads you can lay down to protect sheets/mattress/carpet/etc. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007ZI98NK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_oaROzb14XMMPP Cant recommend them enough.

You and your future lovers are quite lucky

To add on to your puppy pee pad comment, I bought some of these after seeing them suggested often. They're about half the price of the amazon pee pads and a lot of the reviews suggest them for use on the changing pad :) Of course, I haven't used them yet.

We decided not to breastfeed early on for personal reasons and I've gotten some snarky comments and pressure from friends and family. I understand why people are encouraged to breastfeed, but I wish that people wouldn't shame formula-feeders in the process.

Late congratulations on your little one :)

I think everyone else pretty well commented on the cleaning side of things, I can offer some advice on the sheets side. Get yourself one or two mattress pads. My boyfriend and I bought four cheap from Amazon, the kind that are meant to be used in hospitals (so they're super durable, and very absorbent), and put one on top of the sheets whenever we go to have sex. Whatever gets on the pad will not leak through, and your sheets are good to go for snuggling right after! :)

Here's an example just to show what I mean.

Amazon sell these awesome reusable washable pads. They're huge and really durable. Highly recommended. I also like the grass/sod in the kiddie pool idea. Could even lay grass on top of these reusable pads too.

Medline Softnit 300 Washable Underpads, Pack of 4 Large Bed Pads, 34" x 36", For use as incontinence bed pads, reusable pet pads, great for dogs, cats, and bunny https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FED594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_UYpCDbK1P3KW5

Why not just buy an extra top sheet or a super soft towel. Satin or soft cotton pillow case would probably work too. If you are willing to spend some money, you can look at the liberator/fascinator throe or something cheaper but less sexy like this. We have a the throe because my wife squirts on occasion which makes much more of a mess than what you are describing so that may not be necessary. That said, it's almost a part of foreplay when we lay that out.

Best of luck.

For our changing table, we use these. My SIL recommended them and they have saved us countless times from having to wash our changing pad. They may not be the cutest things to look at but when your baby decides to pee on the changing table or have a blow out and have poop up their back, you'll be happy to not have to throw the cute, fuzzy changing pad in the washer for the 3rd time this week. ;) (On a funny side note... the very first diaper change at home my husband didn't put one of these down and guess what happened?!?)

We've used these since day 1 and still using them at 4 months.

Edit: throw for through

A thick, washable pad like this one works very well. Also great for squirters. I find it easier to enjoy things when I'm not worried about the mess afterwards. I don't own enough towels to properly protect my bed, haha.

Not the same person, but we carry these hospital blankets with us, these and if she needs to go we lay it on the grass (we have her harness and leash on so we can make sure she doesn't get off of it) and encourage her to potty and praise her when she does.

You can also look for areas you're POSITIVE no dogs ever get to, but of course there's always that slight risk.

I love these. They clean up beautifully.

Premium Quality Bed Pad, Quilted, Waterproof, and Washable, 34" x 52" The Best Underpad Sheet Protector for Children or Adults with Incontinence https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CX6JAUK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XKBvDbD0E5EME

Hey! These work great for me and my girlfriend! No noise, soft enough to just toss over the sheets and enjoy yourselves, and super affordable. They're machine washable and can hold SO MUCH liquid. On mobile, so here's the link [NorthShore Champion, 35 x 47, 50 oz., Washable Underpad, X-Large, Each https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001IN46NU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_BAhTzbXWZ5594]

Oh girl.. disposable mats for the tops of changing pads are THE BEST. Poopsplosion? Set him down and clean him up, then roll up the whole thing and toss. Total lifesaver. Accidental pee during diaper change? Wipe him down, roll it up and toss! No extra laundry!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005X0U43K/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1418098535&sr=8-1

Sort of like how I mix my larger batchings.

I suggest pipette pumps. The glass pipettes can be a pain to use without them. Makes them easier to clean also. (They are cheaper than glass or plastic syringes/pipettes in the long run.) Or you could look into calibrated graduated cylinders. Pipettes are handy to have with larger batchings. Plus they have the long necks, to pull deep out of containers.

Here is what I use for my calibrated borosilicate glass: (If it is not lab calibrated, just do it yourself. Check the meniscus is correct, if not adjust it.)

• pumps and pipettes 1-5-10ml
  
• 10ml grad. Cylinder
  
• 25ml grad. Cylinder
  
• 50ml beaker
  
• 100ml beaker
  
• 250ml beaker
  
• pyrex kitchen mixing bowl (about 2 quarts) - multi-purpose use.
  
  A pro-tip for glassware and cleaning. You know it is clean. When clear water does not collect on it. It sheens off. The reason I like glass. No smells over time. Plus super easy to clean mid-mix. A bit of dish detergent laced water. Then rinse until clear water does not stick/pool to the sides of the glass.
  
  Now for the paper towels. Plastic cling wrap is really good for larger areas. It enhances the paper towel's coverage, in case of spillage. Plus it's cheap. I have impermeable underpads. Which is about the same principle.
  
  The pads make it much easier to clean up afterwards. You could get them at most pharmacies, but try and avoid the 22x35 versions. Unless your battle station is big enough. If there is a major spill, most pads handle more then you would have mixing at one time... Or what would spill, before reacting to correct it. No reason to toss them after every mix. So they go a very long ways per towel. So easier and cheaper for the long haul. Oh yeah, they work good with glass not 'tinking' on hard surfaces.
  
  If you haven't met this glove yet... They make every other glove it's bitch for mixing.. they fit really good, chemical resistant, and most of all the tips hold slippery shit. Perfect for our needs mixing!! They can be gotten really cheap too. I don't use gloves because 100mg is dangerous. I use it, to keep my hands clean. In case of something getting on my mitts. I change out gloves and move on. (100mg is dangerous, hence why I use chem resist gloves.)
  
  One thing for the last. I didn't see your "rubbermade" tub. Do you have one that holds all your supplies? If not, consider getting one. Keeping everything in there, unless you have immediate need of it.
  

we have covers but just to make it look nice. We use puppy pad like things that are rectangular so they for perfect. My 6 week old has peed on the table at least 3 times and I just have to pick it up and put a new one down.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005X0U43K/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1500178976&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+pee+pads&dpPl=1&dpID=51rT1aeTxcL&ref=plSrch

Wow, there's hope! :)

He's 24 lbs at 7 months, so pretty close to your guy. I just went out and bought him some 24 month sized onesies today.

What's funny is I'm 5'2" and barely broke 100 lbs pre-pregnancy. My husband is about 3 inches taller. :)

And for chux pads, these are what we have: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002DMPFS

These are a lifesaver! They absolutely will not soak through, and they can take a LOT of liquid. Wash like any towel and they are durable. A must have for any squirter. We have a stack of them next to the bed. The product image sure isn't sexy, but they are affordable so you can have many on hand and they get the job done.

Edit: I would recommend the 34x36" or larger.

A little late to the game, and a lot of this was probably already covered in the comments that I'm not going to wade through...

First, own your talent. Everyone has different tastes, but a lot of guys are very, very turned on by a squirter. Don't be ashamed of it, don't hide it, don't try to stop it.

Second, buy one of these. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001IMWQ2O

They're durable, washable, completely waterproof and reusable. They also don't use plastic or any other material that will crinkle or make distracting noise.

Third, experiment with your partner. Obviously let them know what's up, but also find positions, techniques etc that are fun for you both.

Have fun!

This is the one that I got. They're very reasonably priced for the quality that you get. The top feels like a stiff terry cloth, but it's waterproof. They reviews are somewhat mixed about washing them, but generally, people who've washed them on gentle with cold water and air dried had good results.

I still recommend using towels whenever possible (or one of these(NSFW) or these (disposable, but can be slightly uncomfortable and squick people who are turned off by medical supplies)). There is a little bit of stiffness to the mattress protector, but that's easily remedied by a mattress pad if it bothers you.

~~~The more you know~~~

There are few options. You just have to be prepared.

You can use waterproof underpads. They have disposable ones. Or reusable ones. [There are many kinds]
(http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/medline-washable-underpad-30-in.-x-34-in./ID=prod6013826-product). You can keep a few on hand in strategic locations, and they are easy to move around and use.

You can get a waterproof mattress pad (with a sheet is nicer but without works too) that you place over your sheets and pull off when done and you have a nice, dry bed underneath.

Wool is absorbent so you could use any wool blanket as well. Or any waterproof blanket.

Or a combination of all or some of the above works too. Especially if you don't always have sex in bed.

Oh man, these pads are just awesome!

Dynarex Disposable Under Pad, 17" L X 24" W, 100 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HWWR732/

Someone gave us a package of those when Kid was born and they saved us a ton of messes. We probably went through one pad a day.

Cheers!

Also parent of a 6 month old girl here.

I think we've used those changing stations once. Ever. We bring a chux pad wherever we go and change her on top of that. You can quickly turn any reasonable surface in to a changing area. We also bring disposable gloves in case hand washing facilities aren't available.

As far as bars go, in Albany we've only been to Orchard Tavern. They loved her there. We usually take her out nearby in downtown Troy. She's been to the Confectionery and Plumb Oyster Bar several times. One of the bartenders at Plumb is a doula and held her for a while. She's been to Dinosaur, Nighthawks, and Little Rice Ball less often, but those were all good experiences as well.

This item is great! Easy to wash and we have never had any leaks or anything. I wash they came in a larger size but we will probably end up just getting another to lay beside it. We just lay it down when we know pee stuff will happen, then toss it aside to wash it the next day when it is time to sleep.

NorthShore Champion, 36 x 60, 41 oz, Washable Underpad, 2X-Large, Each link

Very nice!

BTW, these work wonders for keeping the bed dry and are much easier to wash:


NorthShore Champion Washable Underpad Extra-Large 35 x 47 Each https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001IN46NU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_eOQ4xbZW853Q7

Charmin used to a have a really cute potty training kit with stickers and things, now they just have http://www.charmin.com/en-us/tips-and-articles/potty-training-boys
What worked best for me was tons of praise when they used the potty. Oh good lord it got annoying, but eventually it worked. For furniture try http://www.amazon.com/Invacare-Reusable-Pads-1800cc-bariatric/dp/B005PFNVPQ?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage
They are handy anyway (I keep them in the car and my seats are like new)
And the Potty Power movie...I still have the songs in my head a decade later, but it worked for my kids (even the autistic one)

I tried using charts and bribing which worked great until the charts and bribes stopped. My son was far more interested in playing than taking potty breaks. What finally worked for us was making him clean himself up when he had accidents. Go into the bathroom, remove his wet underwear and clothes, take them to the laundry room, go to his room and get clean underwear and clothes. Once he figured out how much longer it took for him to clean up after having an accident vs. taking a minute to go to the bathroom he was fully potty trained, no accidents since. For night time potty training, I bought these washable underpads (http://www.amazon.com/Sahara-Quilted-Washable-Underpads-Absorbency/dp/B000FEGUEQ/ref=pd_sim_hpc_5) for his bed. I bought 3. I place one ontop of his bed sheet so if he had an accident I could just switch to another pad, and change PJs. Good luck!

Amazon sells these amazing [bed pads] (http://www.amazon.com/Reusable-Bedpads-34x36-absorbs-1800cc/dp/B0002DMPFS/ref=pd_sim_hpc_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0D75D86QZB032PW2XY1K). They're machine washable and fold up nicely for storage or travel. We used to use towels but when I had my Paraguard IUD, the blood was too much and soaked through.

PS Good for you!

Get a few of these bed protectors. Toss them in the wash when you're done. Cheap and they protect. Trust me. They work MUCH better than towels. There's a reason hospitals use them. They work and they're inexpensive.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details


I am in a similar boat... check this out for when you do have sex. I am a squirter and my man sweats like wild haha, this helps keep the bed completely dry. :)

We use the toddler bed pads. They usually hold up to 2 cups of fluid. Easy wash, easy dry and soft. The saddle style tuck into your mattress/box spring to stay in place ( you could use 2 together if you want more coverage)

They're about $20

Adult incontinence bed pads are bigger.

Edit: (something like this) https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Washable-Underpad-Protector-Incontinence/dp/B00CX6JAUK

Looking at the listing I suppose they’re actually for humans because they don’t have the chemical attractant but I call them puppy pads. We like these — the size is nice for changing pads. We also use really big ones in the car if we have to change a baby in the back of the SUV.

I bought one of those pads they give you in the hospital that you sit on to catch fluids from Amazon. Got a huge one. Saved my sheets. Highly recommend.

Edit: This https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MUEVH9X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NV0dBbP16XE51

So I know I'm late to the party, but everyone with this problem needs to check these out. I have the same thing with my girlfriend, and it works really well. Afterwards I toss it in the washer and dryer and it's ready to go again. I haven't had any wet spots on my bed in a whole year!

We use these.

Just keep three or four of them around. Take them to the washing machine in the morning. Keep them in rotation. Towels don't work for me either. I make puddles. I've actually gotten dehydrated from it after really hot sessions. So yeah, the pee pads are awesome. Nobody has to sleep in the wet spot.

Oh, incidentally... keep baby wipes by the bed too. This isn't just advice for squirters, either. Baby wipes make cleanup after sex super-convenient so you don't have to ruin the mood by running to the bathroom. Oh, the inappropriate ways that I use my children's stuff...

This is one we bought that is much cheaper. It actually does better than the liberator because it is far more absorbant (we have both).

Lay it underneath you, squirt to hearts content, throw in washer. Rinse, repeat.

I like to put down one or two of these under a bedspread or light blanket that's easily washed. They're very absorbent and waterproof, does the trick! You can just whip them off and have a dry bed. Might be a good idea to get a waterproof mattress cover just in case you overshoot it, though. I know how it is!

They were blue.

I ended up switching to reusable incontinence pads for humans that could be washed in the washing machine as disposables were too costly in the end.

I moved and it's better/safer to take him outside more often so we don't use anything like that anymore, though.

Edit: These are the human version I'd switched to.

Edit 2: I also had switched to the human ones because I sometimes feed messy food/treats and it made it easier for him to have a dedicated place to eat it on. So a couple were dedicated only for potty and the rest for other stuff. Worked really well for us.

Wife is one. We just go wish something like these. Come in different sizes. Throw in the wash with some bleach and good to go. Have a stack in the bedroom.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00CP97YXK/ref=mp_s_a_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1485784616&sr=8-4&keywords=hospital+pads

Have you set up alarms? Not only for bathroom breaks, but also for taking pills, and meals. A regular schedule will help her, has much as it will help you.

As for saving your poor couch and bed Washable Underpads are your friend. Have one of them under her at all times. When she wets herself, you can toss it in the wash with her other soiled clothes. They also make disposables

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details

Washable underpad, works great and cleans easy.

Definitely look into a waterproof mattress pad. They're great in general for protecting your mattress from sweat, etc. There are many that aren't crinkly.

There's an old post from /r/sex that suggests these waterproof pads.

Use chux anywhere you have to sit/lay. This will make sure that you aren't getting it on sheets, couches, chairs, beds, etc. and not leaking through. It will help control it and hopefully keep from spreading it.

Lol my mom's a nurse so I have one of those washable absobant bed pads, and kotex ultra thin overnights + diva cup + white undies.

I take no chances, I love my luxe bedding.

Thought of another one!

I use adult incontinence bed pads on both mattresses. I have 2 for each bed, and place them underneath the general butt area. Beds are layered like this: sheet, pad, waterproof mattress pad. I've started adding another sheet and pad layer for middle of the night swaps. I LOVE these pads and no one seems to have any idea what I'm talking about.

http://www.amazon.com/Sofnit-Washable-Underpad-34x36-Pack/dp/B000FED594/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406852270&sr=8-1&keywords=washable+underpad

It works. have fun. There are green ones on amazon, but these pink are better.

My wife and I love coconut oil as well as other lubes. We get messy when we play. We use these and just wash them when needed.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003QSDFL4/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_gqkJBbKRDCJDS

Washable bed pads for adults work too

Medline Softnit 300 Washable Underpads, Pack of 4 Large Bed Pads, 34" x 36", For use as incontinence bed pads, reusable pet pads, great for dogs, cats, and bunny https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FED594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_UwyWDbH6DXZXW

Im a Caregiver and these can handle a lot of urine, more then a child will produce in a nighg

Chucks/puppy pads aren’t the best for the skin and they’re noisy uncomfortable, these are washable and pull the moisture away from the surface

We are a 20 minute drive from the hospital and husband will not leave my side, so I'd like to get everything in. I'm a notorious overpacker, too, but I'd rather have something I don't need than have not have something that I do need.
Mom Stuff:

• A nicer hospital gown to make me feel human
  
• Mesh panties
  
• A few non-slip socks
  
• Travel sized makeup & general toilettries
  
• Nursing shirt
  
• Super comfy yoga pants that I can leave with
  
• Heavy flow pads
  
• A few different stool softners
  
• A few different nursing bras
  
• Something to lay down in the car for leaks
  
• Disposable nursing pads
  
• Tucks cooling pads
  
• Spray
  
• Nipple butter
  
• Preperation H wipes
  
• Gel nipple soothing pads
  
• Nursing pillow
  Baby Stuff:
  
• Onesies in different sizes (nb, 0-3)
  
• Hat, socks, mittens
  
• Car seat
  Dad stuff:
  
• He's kindof on his own. I've been telling him for a month that I need his overnight stuff. He finally got some travel toiletries, so I guess we're getting somewhere
  Both
  
• 10ft charging cable
  
• iPads
  
• Kindles
  
• AppleTV (we're still not decided on this though)
  
• Snacks
  
  I think that covers just about everything. I used travel packing cubes to keep all of the clothing items organized, and I already had several different other travel bags that I generally use when actually leaving town, for all of the "other" items. [edited formatting]

My wife has the same issue. We got a waterproof pad off amazon and it works great. This is the one we got: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003QSDFL4/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?qid=1406831636&sr=8-5&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70

I used this Vinyl Mattress Protector 6 Gauge - Zippered (9" depth) Queen Size https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00070QH3C/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_XJPlxbZX31YJB for my two home births. Rather, two of them, since I threw them out after each birth.


I wouldn't recommend sleeping on it for a long period of time before labor, but it wasn't terribly hard to put on in early labor. We put it over one set of sheets, and then put a crappy/ dark set of sheets over it. After delivery, poof! Rip it all off and your bed is made and ready for sleep and baby snuggles.

One of these threads turned up a while back, and the general consensus among heavy squirters were that these pads were the best way to have squirty sex without all the sheet/mattress hassle. Soft top-layer, waterproof backing and washable.

This one saw us through a year of bedsharing, and was comfortable and not at all crinkly / noisy: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B003PWNH4Q/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

We also got some of these pads which I put under the spot where my daughter normally slept; I could change them out on the spot after a diaper blowout or huge spit up, without changing all the sheets: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FED594/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I know you probably can’t use amazon but here is what a chuck is disposable and washable. The washable ones seem to last a bit over a year and a half, but would probably last much longer if they were air dried. They make it easy to lift someone to slide them up the bed, but the disposable can’t be used that way.

Reusable chucks pads

Another style

Or, you can get the disposable style and just toss them (but they are crinkly and might not stay where you put them as well)

Just keep them by the bed and you can be just as spontaneous as ever, only have a better chance at a dry bed to sleep in afterwards (much better fluid blocking than a towel).

Yes, tell the other couple.

Buy three of these so you have two ready to go while one is in the wash.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details

This is the protector pad for squirters and gushers:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details

It's soft on the business side and isn't noisy. Unlike the Liberator deal, which is repellant, it's absorbent and easily washed. It's very institutional and looks like what it is; an absorbent pad for bed-ridden elderly. My girl is so happy that I bought some for her. She rolls half of it up for round one, then rolls up the wet side and uses the dry side for round two.

Just in case some people may not be aware, a lot of the absorbent pads geared towards dogs have an added chemical coating for absorbency or sometimes scents for the ultra potent puppy pee smell. You’ll want to make sure the ones you buy don’t have this and are geared for human use. Chux is the “brand name” of these type of pads, also called underpads.

These fit exactly on the pad that came with my diaper bag. A box of 100 lasts me months. Amazon Disposable Underpads

Medline Softnit 300 Washable Underpads, Pack of 4 Large Bed Pads, 34" x 36", For use as incontinence bed pads, reusable pet pads, great for dogs, cats, and bunny https://www.
amazon.com/dp/B000FED594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_HIPVDbKRD3V08

If you life in a big city, I'd recommend checking out craigslist. I live in a city of about 1 million and there is about 1 post a week by an owner of Tempurpedic who's selling it for 1/4 of resale price. It's used, but I hear they have a 20-yr warranty. Also, if you're concerned about bed bugs, you can get something like this.

AHH THE MESS! How do you ladies deal with it?

Towels don't cut it. I've tried these thick washable pads from Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) too. They work pretty great, but... they're not quite large enough all of the time. Also, the amount of laundry I keep having to do is getting ridiculous.

I know some of you have mentioned restricting it to the shower...which I could do.... but... it's hard to control. I'd hate to try to give it up too as it's kind of an enjoyable experience. (And a great way to fall asleep!).

Suggestions???

My wife squirts a lot during sex (if she wants to), so we use something like [this] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details). It's not that expensive, you just keep it by the bed or where your towels are. I think it can interrupt the moment but for us we don't mind, just takes a second to run and get it and it absorbs EVERYTHING you can throw at it. Then you just throw it in the wash, easy cleanup

I did something similar - got this to put under the sheets. My water did not break at home, but the pad was useful after the birth to contain boob leaks.

We use these changing pads on top of a cushion pad for easy use. cheap to use and dispose whenever it's needed.

Amazon. Way more comfortable than the bathroom, and machine washable.

Are you looking for something to cover the bed when you're not in it? I had a queen size bed, and I used a king sized water proof fitted sheet to cover the bed when I wasn't in it.

​

Do your dogs stay in one spot on the bed? There are tons of fabric pads that you could use. A lot of people use them for medical reasons. Like this or this (much bigger).

​

I also found this site, Or this site has a flat sheet. I can't speak to their quality, as I haven't used either brands before.

Sofnit 300 Washable... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FED594?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I bought these for the same reason, they have lasted me for 4 years and going strong.

https://www.amazon.ca/NorthShore-Champion-Washable-Underpad-2X-Large/dp/B007ZI98NK

Have your fun. Take it off the bed. Wash it. Repeat. Holds a ton of fluid.

Buy a stack of these and have fun.

Medline Softnit 300 Washable Underpads, Pack of 4 Large Bed Pads, 34" x 36" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FED594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_e7cYCbVH7HHM5

Amazon has very reasonably priced bedpads (incontinence pads). I personally have several due to the sheer amount of fluid my SO can produce. I swap out after each squirting orgasm and I've never had spots on the bed....I have however been showered multiple times.

Hers smells and tastes very sweet.

Haven't tried it but it looks like this cheaper alternative is a hit: http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B001IN46NU

I use a mattress protector and I've noticed that it'll prevent certain stains, but it's not 100% waterproof. Laying down a towel or two didn't help much either.

I recently bought this and it's been a game changer. It's waterproof and easily machine washable!

Sounds so stressful. Sorry you had such an experience. Mine is older so I just change the diaper standing up, but for younger kids, I recommend keeping [chux pads] (https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Disposable-Underpads-Chux-Large/dp/B000FCYGGC/ref=mp_s_a_1_7?crid=3CP5OPSYU7497&keywords=adult+chux+pads&qid=1556499184&s=gateway&sprefix=adult+chux&sr=8-7) in your diaper bag for situations like this. Use once and discard. I heard pet pee pads may contain ingredients not necessarily approved for human use.

Buy some of these. They saved my parents from buying my sister a new mattress through the potty training stage. We put them under the sheet so she wouldn't get freaked out by the pad.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details

These are even better. Throw it on top of the bed. Have sex. Throw it off the bed and into the wash. Dry sheets. Problem solved.

Get a few of something like this pad. Also you should get a waterproof mattress cover like this. That way you've got two levels of liquid defense.

They make pee pads for old ppl with inconsistent bladders. http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Disposable-Underpads-Chux-Large/dp/B000FCYGGC Slip one of those underneath you if you want to try it someplace other than the shower or the toilet. Nothing gets through them. Also if you have tile floors and old towels, try doing it there and clean up after.

> "I don't care if you wet the bed. Just strip the bed and change first thing."

Stripping the bed sounds like a lot of work. When my 7yo was wetting the bed, I got her a stack of these: Bedpad That way, when she noticed the bed was wet, she could fling it into a laundry basket and put another one on the bed. Takes far less time than changing sheets.

ETA: I regularly throw these in the wash and they have held up well after 4 years of daily use.

I've used these before. Good price and reusable.

Try using something like this?

Champion Blue Disposable Underpads (Chux) - you want to get something like these, saves so much on laundry when they decide they weren't done yet.

Amazon - HERE Not sure if these are the best price/deal for this type of use, but they're very sturdy.

These are MUCH cheaper and are great for changing and tummy time but probably wouldn't last all night for PP bleeding (not that you get a full night's sleep anyway at that time).

I have this problem too. My husband and I use these:
Reusable / Washable waterproof bed pad https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003QSDFL4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_C7liyb587KDBE

You have to make the effort to get them out and put them on the bed or couch or whatever, but then I can let loose and don't have to worry about changing the sheets after. We have 5 of them, so they get washed once per week or so. Very quiet and work really well to keep everything dry!

Alternatively, if you don't feel like spending hundred(s) of dollars, buy an underpad from Amazon. Same concept, significantly cheaper, just as effective.

I think this is the brand I bought last time, but any should do.

I've wondered the same thing. I guess because some people fantasize about some of these things happening to them, and maybe don't talk about them because they seem too weird or taboo. Also, maybe they don't give a whole lot of thought in developing a solid plot sometimes because most of the people watching don't care as much about the plot as they do getting off watching someone have sex or masturbate. I didn't.

One time I watched a video on Pornhub where a woman, who seemed too happy to be there, went to her female "gynecologist" because it burned when she peed. She consulted with the doc at a office desk that ended up being three feet from an exam table when the camera panned out. The doctor put down blue pads on the floor, had the woman lie back on the exam table, feet in the stirrups and instructed her to "show me how you pee". The woman then shot out this gravity-defying long arc of piss while laying flat on her back and it landed perfectly on the pad while the doctor watched. Then they boned. It was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen.

If you need something that can really take anything you throw at it, and you dont mind the looks, you can't beat an underpad for $20. It's loved by heavy squirters and really messy people.

This guy fucks. The real LPT is always in the comments.
Also, these are great so there's no wet spot after

He is asking for it. Give it to him.

Pro tip: a nurse I was dating that squirted used these. You can pour cups and cups of water on them without a leak. Plus washable!

https://smile.amazon.com/RMS-Washable-Reusable-Incontinence-Underpads/dp/B01MUEVH9X

Dynarex Disposable Underpad, 17 inches X 24 inches, 100 Count
$12.66 on amazon, things are so much cheaper without a disney/sesame street character on it.

You can double up using tampons and overnight pads. They also sell bed coverings used during surgeries that absorb EVERYTHING so you’re not ruining your mattress (RMS Ultra Soft 4-Layer Washable and Reusable Incontinence Bed Underpads, 18"X24" (3 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MUEVH9X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_-MVYCb32FBR7A)

My first two periods were TERRIBLE, I would bleed through super tampons every 3 hours. My third and beyond (I’ve had the paragard for almost a year) have been much more normal. 1 kind of heavy day and the rest are very normal

Yup, top rated but cheap product:

https://www.amazon.com/NorthShore-Champion-Washable-Underpad-Extra-Large/dp/B001IN46NU#customerReviews

This is what you want instead: Dynarex Disposable Underpad, 17 X 24 Inches, 100 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005X0U43K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_njy6CbC0RFXTK

My girlfriend has squirted just about every single time we have had sex for a year now. A LOT. Bought two of these; never looking back.

1. Diapers in larger sizes.
   
   
2. These: http://www.amazon.com/Dynarex-Disposable-Underpad-inches-Count/dp/B005X0U43K
   
   

Or sisposable chux pads or washable and reusable under pads

Get one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Reusable-Bedpads-34x36-absorbs-1000cc/dp/B0002DMPFS/

I get these for my little pooper: https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Washable-Underpad-Protector-Incontinence/dp/B00CX6JAUK/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=incontinence+bed+pads+washable+extra+large&qid=1558804719&s=gateway&sr=8-3

RMS Ultra Soft 4-Layer Washable and Reusable Incontinence Bed Underpads, 18"X24" (3 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MUEVH9X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_EV35CbFT9ENXR I used these when I had an older cat who didn't always make it off the bed to the litter box. I also use a different set on my heavier days for reasons.

We got these:

Medline Heavy Absorbency Underpads, 36" x 36" Quilted Fluff and Polymer Disposable Underpad

We just use puppy pee pads as our changing station. If they get anything on them, you just toss it.

Get a reusable bed pad; we use them for postpartum patients or patients with incontinence issues.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FED594/ref=od_img_link_refresh_T1

My partner and I considered that one and balked at the price before finding this mat for $20 that's linked elsewhere in the thread: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details You would still probably have to wash and dry the Liberator after each use, so with the Northshore mat you can buy a few and toss them in the laundry as needed.

This is your answer: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007ZI98NK/

Get an Incontinance pad for your bed.

Washable, discreet, relatively cheap.



http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0002DMPFS

I use incontinence bed pads under my puppy pads to protect the hardwood floor. They're machine washable if the puppy hits the edge of the pad, and don't allow anything to leak through to the floor.

These are much less expensive than the Liberator throw and work amazingly well. They come in lots of different sizes, too. They may not be as soft and aesthetically appealing as the Liberator throw, but I don't care.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001IMWQ2O/ref=mp_s_a_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1475103591&sr=8-3&keywords=waterproof+pad+champion&pi=SY200_QL40

You need one of these for when Diane comes over... It's made my sex life so much, uh, less messy https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007ZI98NK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Eh0EzbQ6K62FR

Puppy pads are much more expensive then the basic ones you get in the adult diaper or baby isles.

I used these for my senior dog when he had incontinence problems because they are much cheaper.

Amazon link

This is what you need. Wifey's a squirter and we put this down (green side down) under us. 4 months, NO WET SHEETS:

https://www.amazon.com/NorthShore-Champion-Washable-Underpad-Large/dp/B001IMWQ2O/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1536853153&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=north+shore+champion+washable+underpad&psc=1

NorthShore Champion, 35 x 47, 50 oz., Washable Underpad, X-Large, Each https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001IN46NU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_I88dAbX8TYWD9

For the man/woman in your life who squirts....or fucking tries to drown you and ruins the seats in your car or soaks your mattress through.

My wife squirts -- hell, she gushes -- and I don't think it's pee. But it definitely has a stronger/less-pleasant taste when she's dehydrated.

As for sheets, that Liberator thing is a bit pricy. Right now, we just use thick towels over the sheets and do laundry, but someone here once suggested these, and I'm seriously thinking of getting a couple.

Any girl can squirt. Here's exactly what you need to do:

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You need to buy this:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IN46NU/ref=oh_o06_s00_i01_details?th=1

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If there's danger that your mattress could get ruined girls will try to hold it in, you don't want this. You want them to "use the room" if you will.

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Then buy some of these:

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https://www.amazon.com/Nitrile-Disposable-Thickness-Textured-Fingertips/dp/B075FJ34CZ/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1542168465&sr=8-2-spons&keywords=latex%2Bgloves&th=1

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Your finger nails can not be so nice. Making your hand be free of hang ups helps.

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Then buy some:

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https://www.amazon.com/Shibari-Premium-Personal-Lubricant-Bottle/dp/B00G5K7L24/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1542168565&sr=8-1&keywords=lube+water+based

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Things can get rigorous.

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Then generally follow this guy's video:

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https://www.xnxx.com/video-dzzw08b/how_to_make_woman_cum_squirt_orgasm_every_time

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The pause on the clit thing is important as fuck.

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