Oh god. Okay. I feel like I've been preparing for this post my whole life (or at least since I found these awesome things on amazon):

• Tuscan Whole Milk
  
• Fresh Whole Rabbit
  
• Uranium Ore in a Can
  
• The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China -- Amazing read! Riveting!
  
• A Million Random Digits -- the textbook no student should be without!!!
  
• UFO Detector -- It's so amazing, you'll want to anally probe yourself!
  
• Everybody Masturbates -- Best reference manual and an amazing children's book!
  
• BIC Pens for Her -- Not to be used by men or your penis and testicles will immediately invert themselves and transform themselves into a vagina and ovaries!!!
  
• Moon People -- The greatest book of our time. Quite possibly. Follow the adventures of Dale Courtney - I mean, David Braymer - and his lady friend Cheral and his escapades as 1st Science Officer on the Lunar Base 1 Mobile Base Station
  
  Make sure you read the comments on these amazing, once in a lifetime products!!!
  
  edit: Aww shoot, I just saw you meant for realz. I got nothing, sorry. But still, you'll have a good laugh!

Great snack that can replace cravings for smoothies, shakes, icees, slurpees. I avoid boba shops because they are inconsistent, cost too much, and don't display calorie content (or contain too many calories).

Buy thai tea mix and a tea pot. The tea only takes a few minutes to make but should sit in freezer or fridge for 30~ minutes to cool before adding ice and drinking. Other teas work too. Most teas are 0 calories. I freeze some tea into icecube tray so that I don't have to wait for tea to cool as long. You can also make a big batch of tea and save in fridge if you want.

Boba can be made by hand or boiled from hard (30-60 minutes) or boiled from soft (5 minutes). It is about 80 calories for 1/4 cup.

I use artificial sweeteners and artificial creamers to make the tea sweet and creamy without adding many calories. Make sure to soak the boba in hot sugar water to get them nice and sweet before adding them to your (less sweet) tea. I usually use nut pods or some sort of creamer that has some calories, adding 50-120 more calories to the boba, but you can stick to zero calorie creamers if you want. I hear Stevia is the healthiest zero calorie sweetener, by the way.

Because you want your tea to cool and your hard boba to boil it takes 30 minutes to make but you aren't in the kitchen the whole time. When I get a craving I will start the boba tea and during the 30 minutes I wait. Most of my food cravings pass easily during this time as I know I am about to drink boba. I find it to be very filling by the time I am able to drink it. I find that this is something of a strategy in itself... Having to wait 30 minutes for my snack helps the cravings pass and the snack feels more filling.

Certainly! Here's what I have so far:

Bleach:

Body wash:
Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport Scent Men's Body Wash 18 Fl Oz
6 pack
$23.34 every 6 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000GR9OIQ/

@ Weis we’re spending $4.49 per bottle, so $26.94 every 6 months
We will save $3.60 every 6 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $7.20 / year

Canned tuna:
Bumble Bee Solid White Albacore in water, 5 Ounce Tins
24 pack
$33.29 every 3 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002XPPAA0/

@ Weis we’re spending $1.99 per can, so $47.76 every 3 months
We will save 14.47 every 3 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $57.88 / year

Cat food:
Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Tuna Dinner Chunks and Gravy Cat Food Can, 5.5oz
24 pack, 3x @ $20.51
$61.53 every month
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006WOC8SU/

@ Petco we’re spending $1.17 per can, so $84.24 every month
We will save $22.71 every month with Amazon S&S
a savings of $272.52 / year

Coffee creamer:
International Delight Amaretto Liquid Creamer
288-Count Single-Serve Packages
$14.55 every 3 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00284TNL8

@ Weis we’re spending $2.29 per bottle, so $27.48 every 3 months
We will save $12.93 every 3 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $51.72 / year

Deodorant:
Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport Scent Men's Deodorant
2 pack
$4.65 every 4 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008CC3NHK

@ Weis we’re spending $4.49 per stick, so $8.98 every 4 months
We will save $4.33 every 4 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $12.99 / year

Dish soap:

Dishwasher detergent:

Fabric softener:

Laundry detergent:
Tide Laundry Detergent, 50 Ounce
2 pack
$11.97 every 2 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005UX2KU0/

@ Weis we’re spending $16.49 per bottle, so $32.98 every 2 months
We will save $21.01 every 2 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $126.06 / year

Paper towels:
Sparkle Paper Towels Giant Rolls Pick A Size, White
8 count
$7.57 every 2 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BLZ1ZV6/

@ Weis we’re spending $11.99 per package, so $11.99 every 2 months
We will save $4.42 every 2 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $26.52 / year

Razor blade cartridges:
Gillette Fusion Manual Cartridges
12 count
$34.71 every 4 months
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004B8AZH0/

@ Weis we’re spending $3.44 per unit, so $41.28 every 4 months
We will save $6.57 every 4 months with Amazon S&S
a savings of $19.71 / year

Tissues:

Toilet paper:

They're definitely using whole milk for their drinks in France. Besides being too rich, half and half will be very hard to steam well. This specific milk has the distinction of being relatively easy to steam, easy to find and is very similar to what they're using. Make sure your milk is very cold. Put your empty pitcher in the freezer for a few minutes before you steam. Pull it out, pour the milk in, and steam away. That'll give you a few extra seconds worth of stretching time. Stretch until the pitcher becomes warm to the touch, then sink the tip of the steam wand farther so that you get a good whirpool and keep steaming until the pitcher becomes too warm to touch comfortably.

If you're using a thermometer, stretch until you see ~100°F, then swirl until you see ~150°F.

Here's a video showing how to learn milk steaming without wasting so much milk. Practicing a few times this way helped me a lot. Even if you're not trying to learn to pour art, the technique for getting art-worthy foam will help you get the best tasting steamed milk. This technique + Parmalat improved my milk drinks about 1000% in one afternoon's worth of practice.

I asked the same question a while back. Was out for about a month with no access to refrigeration. I survived, and lost a bunch of weight, good times.

One person had recommended using more MCT oil to meet your caloric intake. I did a couple times, but it can be pretty rough on your digestive tract, so unless you build a tolerance plan on going to the bathroom frequently.

I ended up using a powdered [heavy cream.] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OCV3QRW/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) Worked great, just took a little more prep time. I just mixed the powder with water, added the MCT oil and the ketochow.

Chris pointed out previously that once mixed you should treat it like milk and keep it refrigerated. I simply drank it on the spot, actually wasn't bad at all and kept my energy levels up.

For in between snacks I just carried some meat sticks and nuts. Worked out fine and I didn't have to break keto. Hope that helps!

If you like chocolate milk, hemp chocolate milk is great and tastes amazing. As another Redditor mentioned, I too like to use different types for different things. My personal favorite is vanilla almond milk. I like to use coconut and cashew milk when I make savory dishes because, well, they both taste savory. I like banana milk with my cereal because I usually have fruity cereal. You can find a good list of pairings here. It honestly depends on you, as there are so many options out there. And, by the way, thank you for making the switch to veganism! 💪🏼

I think this is a better deal kitchen soap wise: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001FA1NV4/. Instead of 12oz for 7 dollars, its 6 25oz bottles for 20 bucks. 3 times the money, but 12.5 times the soap. Also, for dishwasher detergent, this is a better deal: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C72BXZK/. Instead of 20 count for 7$, it's 110 count for 20$.

Some stuff it just makes sense to try and get in bulk, because you get so, so, so much more.

Also, re milk. You don't have to get powdered milk. You also have the option to get UHT milk. UHT milk is milk that's been cooked at a high enough temperature that it becomes shelf stable. Just search for UHT milk and you'll find a tonne of brands and choices. Different fat percentages, sizes and so on. You can get a large carton, or they also make packs with a bunch of small cartons, like this one: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002FX2IOQ/. I prefer that, because I don't use milk very often, so opening a small container each time works perfectly for me. You do however, have to stick the container in the fridge once you've opened it.

Also, if you have a tea strainer (or even if you don't, they're only a few bucks and worth it!), try and get loose leaf tea. You can get a lb of tea for around 10 bucks easy, and you can easily make a few hundred cups of tea. To make strong black tea, I use 4 grams of tea for every pot, and each pot gets me about 4 cups. A lb of tea is 453g, so...that works out really well. Even if you make individual cups instead of pots and use a couple grams per cup, you can easily get 200 cups out of a lb box. There's just no beating that with bags, even if you resuse them.

Here's 1lb of a green tea for 10 bucks: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000SATIFA. And here's 1lb of Earl Grey for 8 bucks: http://www.amazon.com/Davidsons-Tea-Bulk-Earl-16-Ounce/

Thanks OP! I'd already created list and was about to post to food_pantry when I saw your post and you'd found cheaper options for a few things and that seriously rocks.

We have UHT, but it's rarely used / atypical. https://www.amazon.com/Organic-Valley-Whole-Milk-6-75/dp/B00WVSNJ8Y
Now I've lived in many countries with eggs both ways, and they taste pretty much the same to me. it is seasoning on eggs that matter more IMHO (black pepper being key cultural distinction in my view, like black pepper on cottage cheese, corn on the cob, or fresh sliced tomatoes). With the milk, the 'cooked' UHT tastes very different. And in USA, like France, there can even be a raw-milk craze.

Raw milk in USA I've encountered personally is extremely rare. I expect it's mostly something people try who live on a farm or very close personal friends to a farm. Or, well, I'ts American prudish to favor violence instead of sex, some adult males with pregnant or nursing wives have probably accidentally had 'raw milk' as part of foreplay ;)

Which raises another point: But that really is taboo to speak in USA. For a while (~ 1975-2005), people seemed to consider formula superior perhaps because it had added vitamins - like enriched or fortified white bread. (For infants) Breast milk, not formula, has made a return among the educated. Who knows, the poor and unemployed may have been using it all along due to convenience.

I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone has read the Epic Tuscon Whole Milk, 1 gallon, 128 fl. oz reviews (my favorite is the Raven parody: "Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey..."). I'll search for another one, but I'll leave this as a reminder for myself. :)

edit: Oh! I remember another one, although it's nsfw...there are some really good reviews for the Hitachi "Personal Massager" . I really like the different innuendos people come up with...although my favorite are the indignant "What are you people doing with this thing!!" posts...
DIRTY THIRTY

(Let me know if you would rather I find a sfw one...:) )

Found the link the OP probably intended on submitting

The Tuscon Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz poem


Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'

I got some dried full fat creamer, it tastes enough like the real stuff if you dissolve it in the coffee, but then I realized that I only like the cream when I am essentially making a desert drink.

Now I only drink coffee with cream/milk if I get a cortado from a shop, or poured on ice cream at home.

Heres a link to the Heavy Cream powder I had used. If you are in Baltimore Id be happy to give like half a pound away lol. They also make milk/butter but in my mind all of those are the same thing with just less butter fat in them

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LYWVKO0/

On top of amazing customer service, Amazon Prime (saved me a ton of money this past year), and the fact they regularly deliver on Saturdays Amazon is great for hilarious product reviews:

Steering Wheel Desk

Tuscan Milk
The Classic and Original

Amazon prime (which I have) supports same day in many areas, next day in some, and they have both powdered and shelf stable milks. (edit: as an example, https://smile.amazon.com/Natrel-Whole-Milk-Ounce-Pack/dp/B0748DYQT6/ has prime one-day shipping) And anyways, even shelf stable foods are better than being hungry. If you go the Amazon wishlist route, please make sure to follow the directions in the sidebar to set your address correctly.

> perhaps a better contract-manufacturer

Every time I see one of these posts -- which seems like every other day -- my mind shows me a picture of all the other liquid products sold daily in similar bottles, like this or this. Who ever hears of chocolate milk or OJ bottles that split, or have mold under the cap? And there's a gazillion times as many of those bottles moving around the country.

One difference is, the shipping channels are different. Nesquick etc. go in large quantities, whole pallets probably, in big trucks to grocery wholesalers' warehouses. From there they go in wholesalers' trucks to grocery stores, handled by drivers who deliver only groceries.

Just the same, somehow I think Nesquick or Tropicana and other big liquid-food-makers have a better grasp of this. It would be fascinating to hear from somebody who actually knows food packaging and shipping.

Try shelf stable milk cartons, like those milk boxes from Organic Valley. I don't care that it's organic, but each box is like 3/4 cup, which tends to be how much milk I need at a time, and it's good for MONTHS, with no refrigeration. I bought these, and they've been great for baking and cooking.

Organic Valley, Organic Whole Milk, 6.75 fl oz (Pack of 12) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WVSNJ8Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_l1JozbD3VY92X

Yeah, a lot of the reviews suck because they are written by random people. The good ones get upvoted to the top. There is also something called "vine voices" or something like that, where if you write awesome reviews for stuff on amazon, they will send you free products to get some reviews going.

Sometimes reviews are funny though, check these ones out.

iPotty

3 wolf moon shirt

and last but certainly not least we have

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

I'm sorry but if you've purchased something from a business you should contact them about it, not post it on dogecoin dragging everyone else into your drama.

Should we start ragging on Amazon on here too while we're at it? I fucking purchased Tuscan whole milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz and it was not what I expected. Mine came used and had formed cheese curds at the bottom, which, while it's perfect for poutine, I didn't ask for. Now I have cheese curds and no french fries. Thanks obama.

Edit: The number of people who seriously thought I bought milk makes this all the more hilarious.

Bought one. Worked great till I spilled my Tuscan Milk all over it while reading How To Avoid Huge Ships. Luckily I had bought some Uranium Ore at the same time. Sprinkled a little over the cable, and it works perfect now.

Sorry I'm new to Intermittent fasting and I see a lot mixed answers about this, but I want to know if I like to drink coffee, with stevia, is a tsp of coffee mate powder cream okay? I see a lot of people recommend heavy cream, is that different from heavy whipping cream?
Also why is that okay if it has a lot of fat?
Lastly is this recommended? Hoosier Hill Farm Heavy Cream Powder Jar, 1 Pound https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OCV3QRW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_RAAKxb98SXMF1

Introduce her to hilarious Amazon product reviews for stuff like Tuscan whole milk, might be fun to put them up on a big screen or projector and read through them at the party.

I love amazon for those reviews. The tuscan milk and three wolf t-shirt are great ones too.

Milk

tshirt

Amazon absolutely loves spoof reviews. They highlight many products that are filled with them . Tuscan whole milk one gallon, is my favorite.

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

Is it the Coffee Mate one? Because it looks like Amazon has those little single-serve cups of it.

Also, it looks like International Delight put out a similar flavor.

Hopefully your One True Coffee Creamer is not gone for good!

The top review on this gallon of milk remains my favorite. I hope that reviewer got class credit for it.

As time of this post, a gallon of milk was going for $45 on Amazon. Hope you like your cereal dry. :)

Seems like a good idea, but it's $78 and doesn't even qualify for super saver shipping.

The top several are all great. My personal favorite is "One Friday, without the milk"

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425866900&sr=8-1&keywords=tuscan+whole+milk+1+gallon+128+fl+oz

> transparent or semi translucent package

I don't believe it's possible with soylent aseptic process. The bottles are multi-layer with oxygen barrier. Jasper products (Soylent's contract manufacturer). If Soylent went with the "Snowman" bottle it might fair better. Ribs help resist denting in thin bottles like this. /u/fernly's Nesquick example uses a ribbed bottle for this reason.

Remember the crypto craze?? AMD remembers.

Seriously, though, 3rd party vendors do this in every Amazon sub-category. You can buy a gallon of Tuscan Dairy Vitamin D Whole milk for $74.00 if you want to. Eventually, it will be revealed that this is how drug cartels are laundering money. Until then, enjoy the lols.

Aha I love the ones for this milk

P

DIRTY THIRTY

Thanks for the contest and happy early birthday!

Happened to notice that the Tuscan 1 gallon milk product is still there. A whole bunch of new reviews there and some of them are amazing!

Really good one in the style of Poe.

Actually you can get both of those things off of Amazon, at least in a fashion - if you don't get any help on a Wal-Mart gift card, you could try this (links below). Items would get to you in a couple of days, and as a bonus, they are shelf-stable, so you don't need refrigeration - handy for this situation!

Milk, prepared

Milk, powdered

Canned chicken (lots of bean varieties are cheaper, though - full list here, see "Proteins" category)

Possibly... but Tuscan whole milk, 1 gallon, 128 oz will make your dreams come true.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00032G1S0/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1322591526&sr=8-1

Edit: added link

Yeah, I have 2 cups of coffee every day. My wife has me use Stevia packets in lieu of other sweeteners and I use sugar free vanilla creamer (the singles.. they have less than 1 carb per) so it's a delicious low-carb treat in the morning and afternoon.

Creamer and Stevia packets

Just be aware that fake-but-hilarious amazon reviewing is a thing today. There's a billion of them. This could be real, though. Funny if it is, tho also sad. But decent chances it's just a joke.

the infamous tuscan whole milk review -be sure to expand all comments

I see. In that case, yes, you'll have to go with a protein source as the carrier. Sodium Caseinate is the most common, though I've actually tried a sample of oil spray-dried onto a rice protein carrier, and it turned out a lot better than I expected. When and if we make a complete, just-add-water hypoallergenic keto mix, we'd probably go with that.

If you're okay with dairy, though, why not just use a heavy cream powder instead? Too high in carbs?

Powdered Heavy Cream, it's really a thing It's shelf stable and a little goes a long way. Make sure you serve it with a CLEAN and DRY spoon.

I actually recommend that you transfer a small amount to another container to avoid contaminating the whole things with accidental moisture.

I love these ridiculous amazon reviews...You think when Amazon has a board of director meeting they all sit around and look at the joke reviews that people put up?

My personal favorites....

3 wolf moon shirt- (http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve-Black/dp/B000NZW3KC/ref=sr_1_5?s=apparel&qlEnable=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1290966286&sr=1-5&searchContext=B001VMZFPG,B003903IOS,B002X9PLU0,B000O1JVQY,B000NZW3KC,B0038MYLQ6,B0036EBABA,B0039YMKH0,B0037TPEF2,B003XKVMM4,B003DNIEQS,B004DJWF8O,B002YEBWYI,B0035T65HA,B002YKI3OY,B0049PBO2A,B000MJKTPK,B000GXZJU2,B002XPAHF8,B000MJJQWM,B000MJHOEY,B0036BI96M,B002YE9FYW,B0035T9AFY)

and the milk- (http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=pd_sbs_a_3)

Yes! They carry it at Wegmans, Whole Foods, Target, Kroger, etc. We get organic valley whole milk. It’s about $12 for a case of 12 but they last and are good for on the go.

ETA: this is the one we buy: Organic Valley Whole Milk, Ultra Pasteurized, 6.75 Ounce (Pack of 12) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WVSNJ8Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_DqBLBbYYJ9S3M

Horizon also has a low fat and flavored versions and larger shelf stable bottles that aren’t single serve. You could also do toddler formula if need be, but since our kids don’t drink that normally, we don’t want to start.

For a gallon of Tuscan milk 🥛

Reviews

The Q&A are pretty funny too!

I'm super late to the game but there are ways to maintain the spirit of the rules. You can get freezedried milk in pouches and just mix as needed with water, you can also use shelf stable milk which doesn't need refrigeration. This is just an example of what you can do at approximately the same budget you're probably on already.

https://www.amazon.com/Parmalat-Milk-Quart-32-Ounce-Pack/dp/B004UAXISM

Over 10K? Fancy!

Over 10K? Fancy? (Only if you click on buying options!)

[Under 10K? Kind of fancy wishes!] (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FE9AT8/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=6SF8O7RDEPWD&coliid=I2HSFV24WK3EF1)

Ordered XL but needed a Small, they delivered an XL!

Edit: this reminds me of the gallon of milk on Amazon with the funny reviews https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

Not even close.

The rest are pretty good too.

I keep parmalat on hand because I rarely use milk so it's handy to just have around since it's good for 6+ months.

I think that both of your friends should combine the gift cards any buy a gallon of milk.

Believe it or not, you would need both cards.

My favorite is this one for Tuscan Whole Milk. There are several of them for the Tuscan milk, though. Here's another favorite Tuscan review.

1 Gallon Tuscan Whole Milk - might have the singularly best Amazon review I've ever read, though there is much more content in the Haribo bears reviews

Fresh Whole Rabbit

50 Gallons of Lube

I think Tuscan Whole Milk is the very definition of "stand out," haha!

I would love Dead Island, please! My bf will be out of town all weekend and I was so sad at not having anything to do this weekend - this would be perfect!!

> You can also support the show by clicking on the buttons below when you go to shop at either Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk. Hello Internet will get a small percentage of whatever you buy.

-- http://www.hellointernet.fm/support/



To be clear, if I were to purchase Tuscan Whole Milk, exactly how many ounces would Hello Internet get? Also, is it re-sealed after?

I think joke reviews are fine on products people don't take seriously anyway, like milk.

lol this shit is too funny.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_3?ie=UTF8&index=3

Oh dear ! Sounds like he ran out of [Tuscan] (http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0) !

"Fair and balanced critic". It took you until when to realize this was a troll?

Anyway, hilarious review, thanks for bringing it to us.

I'm sure you already know about Three Wolf Moon and Tuscan Whole Milk but I figured I'd list it for those who haven't.

The reviews are great, too! http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

>I hope Amazon starts selling Amul liquid milk in India too. Hate going outside for silly things like milk.

You can always buy the massively popular Tuscan Whole Milk, especially based on the reviews.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_dp_mb_btm?ie=UTF8

In some places you can already get milk delivered

In New York City, they have been doing local delivery forever, but that's because the density is high enough the deliveries can be hand carried or done by bike.

The best review I've read was for Tuscan Whole Milk:

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1333500581&sr=8-5

To find the best milk, check out the amazon reivews

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&condition=new

I love the product descriptions.

https://www.amazon.com/Hoosier-Hill-Farm-Heavy-Powder/dp/B00OCV3QRW

I don't know if this is the best powdered heavy cream for keto,I just remember his being my preliminary choice

I clicked on a couple of those items; the milk has a great "Customers also viewed section"

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=pd_sbs_a_4

For anyone who doesn't know this is how awesome that milk is.

When I happen to visit Starbucks... Americano with heavy cream on top. Sugar-free caramel. Hooray.

Edit: Also - since a lot of us get coffee at work, these things are miracles that don't require a fridge. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007VN10VW/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Walden-Farms-Flavored-Creamer-Hazelnut/dp/B00RMX73G2/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1497071882&sr=8-2&keywords=walden%2Bfarms%2Bcreamer&th=1
This stuff is delicious!

Reminds me of the infamous reviews of Tuscan milk from Amazon. So funny the NY Times wrote an article about the reviews.

you mean amazon reviews are completely unregulated and easy to exploit? you don't say

Amazon isn't going to do anything about it. Look at the reviews for jugs of milk that they leave up. Those are just silly and nonsexual, but clearly whoever is in charge of moderating the reviews has a pillow and blanket under their desk.

This is probably one of my favourites.

Just have a read through of the comments xD

Also:

1

2

3


And here's my favourite (vaguely) NSFW one.

Not entering btw, don't have a Playstation.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t your first item is a gallon of milk that costs 48$. The reviews are wonderful, but...

I suggest you go to /r/foodpantry and look at the lists of other users to find inexpensive prime items. You don't have much food on your list.

You also don't have a shipping address available.

This also has excellent reviews.

Yeah, like milk.

Amazon has had success with it. (read the reviews)

While delicious, it's a little pricey for me.

Man, reading that made me angry. Better go buy more Tuscan Whole Milk to help me cool off.

Walden Farms has a calorie-free coffee creamer. It has low reviews on Amazon but I actually really like it. It's thick and heavy so just use a little bit and stir a lot. If you use too much it has a thick, saccharine alcohol-like taste.

My favorite Creamer and/or My Breakfast Tea there is something so necessary about having the right drink to start my morning off. Things just don't feel right if I can't start my day with the small pillars of my morning routine.

Have you tried a heavy cream powder. I find that the powder works better for me than actual milk.

​

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OCV3QRW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I much prefer the Amazon Grocery section... like Tuscan Whole Milk.

this milk is just like any other store and it good.. amazon does sell milk

https://www.amazon.com/PARMALAT-MILK-2-32-OZ/dp/B00H26SMUA/ref=sr_1_20_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1478829643&sr=1-20&keywords=milk

Small, sealed, and with bad reviews.

Amazon does not care for your plant.

• https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=200339730
  
  Ever wondered how they FBA tuscan milk?
  
  They have some great reviews on these ;-)

I find it tastes really good when mixed with coffee, foods etc: Powdered Heavy Cream

The first two reviews of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz on amazon. This is my favorite thing on the whole internet.

My favorite is the people selling milk for thousands of dollars.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_olp_0?ie=UTF8&condition=all

alright! gotta go buy you some milk on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&qid=1372772402&sr=8-20&keywords=milk

milk lots of good ones actually

This milk better be cambodian

Search Amazon for shelf stable milk.

Don't forget:

Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz

and

The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve T-Shirt

Des that mean you have not yet had the opportunity to have some Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon, 128 fl. Oz.?
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

This milk, available from Amazon was the primary focus of a new net meme, spurred by a YTMND piece this time last year, reports a WP article.

OP- So currently I follow a low-carb, high fat diet. I think it's actually very well suited for the trail, as fat is calorie dense (less weight/space), and may require less prep. Also hiking hard you will be burning a lot of fat anyway, so you may suffer less dramatic blood sugar swings if your diet reinforces rather than countervails this trend.

At home I eat salads+avocado, sometimes olives, always cheese, olive oil, vinegar, plus cold cuts or roast chicken slices for lunch and dinner, and generally some Belgiosio mozzarella snack cheese plus an apple for breakfast, and some fruit as dessert after dinner. For a hot drink, I like to use unsweetened cocoa powder- a couple to 3 tbs of Equal Exchange baking cocoa, plus some Belgian cocoa for some extra kick (Belgian cocoa is more acidic/bitter). I mix in 2 tbs of heavy cream. This is relatively high fiber, low carb, high in nutrients. Also coffee.

Since I go nearly stoveless at home, here's what I've come up with for a meal replacement on the trail: a shake made from:

Vegetarian trail protein shake:

Vitamins and minerals base

Fats/fiber: Powdered avocado

Fats/taste: Powdered heavy cream

Protein/other nutrients:

Powdered Spirulina

Protein/fiber/other nutrients

Powdered Chlorella

Taste/some carbs/fiber:

Cocoa (2/3 Baking, 1/3 Belgian)

Note that this is only what I've planned, although I've made pretty tasty shakes before using whey protein, avocado, cocoa, and strawberries.

For solid food, I plan on bringing dried apples, freeze-dried strawberries, cheese, Wild Zora's meat/veggie bars (excellent, especially the lamb), Chudabeef beef jerk (best beef jerky- low sugar, tasty, though go easy on beef jerky in general), and nuts. Also the aforementioned cocoa and Starbucks Via.

I also plan on bringing some Better than Bouillon and freeze-dried veggies, and some amount of freeze-dried meat to make either a hot broth or soup. Combined with the cocoa/coffee, this will be the only use of a stove I will have.

I will also be bringing some pemmican in case I find I haven't brought enough food otherwise, since it's probably literally the most calories per weight you can carry.


Hopefully this gives you some ideas!

Edit: Also I think that any or all of vitamins, minerals (especially electrolytes), protein, and fats could be what you need more of on the trail.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406084147&sr=8-1&keywords=milk+gallon
this always made me chuckle

Yes, it can be expensive though.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_olp_new_mbc?ie=UTF8&condition=new

This would be awesome to take on the road. Those are a little pricey for me. I found a cheaper one, but there isn't any nutrition info. Grrrrrr. http://www.amazon.com/Heavy-Powder-Hoosier-Hill-Farm/dp/B00OCV3QRW/ref=sr_1_130?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1413389603&sr=1-130

I can't find a major milk company not owned by Dean's, who does brands like Tuscan.

It's just a local dary, like Tuscan. They supply a lot to schools and food service industries.

I like these, also check out the vendor list

Every time I see things written out like that, all I can think about are the reviews on this page: http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

the brand I purchased was Hoosier, and I was pleased with it -- repeating that it does not dissolve easily

Were they trying to get you to review some tuscan whole milk by chance?

Don't forget the most important part...

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394634461&sr=8-1&keywords=Tuskan+milk

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0

There ya go.

(Make sure you read the reviews).

Reminds me of reviews for Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz

Some of the customer supplied images are ok, too.

It's just your old non-vegan orders (like Tuscan Whole Milk) clearing out of the delivery system. Once all of your previous omnivorous Amazon orders are cleared, your deliveries should become more regular.

Check the Used & New page as well, and the reviews for the stuff listed as Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed

Dairy milk as well, actually.

Look in the juice isle for individual serving sized boxes of milk.

I haven't bought much food on amazon, usually when i just cant find it anywhere else. I suggest This, or This

I can get it for $6-7 locally. It's just crazy expensive because it's on Amazon, like this Tuscan Whole Milk.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top/184-1367063-7272317

I was personally very dissatisfied after all the positive reviews of the Tuscan Whole Milk

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0 $75+ on Amazon

Amazon did this just so that they can stock their most acclaimed product, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., on shelves across the nation.

Here's a review for a gallon of milk on Amazon that's a rewrite of Poe's poem "The Raven". LINK

This is always an Amazon classic, along with this piece of hilarity. Read at least the first review if you haven't seen it before.

If only I could by milk on Amazon, I'd never shop in a store again... oh wait, I can.

Or they just order it from amazon?

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

¿Y la leche en USA tiene un precio establecido por el gobierno?

Hice una búsqueda rápida en Amazon, 32 onzas de leche (casi un litro) pack de 6 a 25 USD, así que 4 USD el litro.

Leche de almendra, pack de 6 a 13,64 USD, así que 2,25 USD el litro

You don't have to kill, just pay extraordinary prices

Ha...that would be interesting. No, I'm referring to this

No price is too high for Tuscan Whole Milk. The reviews clearly justify any expense.

Then you aren't looking hard enough:

http://www.amazon.com/Organic-Valley-Milkfat-Lowfat-8-Ounce/dp/B002FX2IOQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1372812022&sr=8-3&keywords=milk

Good review, but not as good as those madmen over at Tuscan Whole Milk

Tuscan milk is the only milk.

>But what kind of milk?

This kind.

Just about anything from this beats that.

Maybe in the UK but not in the US.

For a minute I thought you were drinking Tuscan Whole Milk milk of the gods.

like this

If you can't find it at Amazon.com, you don't need it.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1314582284&sr=1-1

Check these out: http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0

A gallon of milk. http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311808964&sr=8-1

Could be worse.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=1PMNEKN6B10EA9P6Q5D3

Is this the next Tuscan Milk?

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525123268&sr=8-1&keywords=tuscan+whole+milk%2C+1+gallon#customerReviews

Should be the last one on the bottom.

You'll find the reviews of this Tuscan milk to be on par with Mother's.

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

Tuscan

I believe he was referring to Tuscan Whole Milk. Have a look at the user pics and the reviews.

Then you must read the reviews for Tuscan Whole milk of legend.
https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

I hear this stuff is really good. Just a thought.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0

Nope: Only This, Nothing More!

Where the famous Tuscan Whole Milk comes from!!

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2/186-1470636-5246938

Your turn

Whoa, big spender. Now you can buy 10 gallons of milk.

This may actually be a rival for my Tuscan Whole Milk. But the reviews for that product say it all...

You can buy it here

Flash mob is the name for this. Improv Everywhere used to do this stuff. Something Awful's goons used to do online stuff. See Tuscan Whole milk, 128 fl oz.

What? You don't?

I guess its akin to Tuscan Whole Milk?

relevant

this its only $45

milk!

Get him some milk or some new speaker wires

protip: read the comments

I thought everyone who searched for anything technical got this result With uranium ore.

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0

Just link to the fucking page.

Or you could just use the Internet.

Gallon of Milk

Vegetables

Zap Apple Jam

Apples

What an age we live in.

Tuscan Whole Milk - 1 Gallon

'Nuff Said.

I always buy my milk online from here: https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

Oh man if you're into these sort of things, go look at the review for Tuscan whole milk.

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/dp/B00032G1S0

FALSE

Reading the reviews on this.
amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

Not just any milk either, but Tuscan Milk.

It's the dairy equivalent of the 3 wolf shirt.

I thought this was hilarious. http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

>is turning

It has been for 10+ years. You've had Tuscan Whole Milk, right?

https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

• The Three Wolf Moon Shirt
  
  
• Tuscan Whole Milk
  
  
• Wheelmate: Laptop desk for your steering wheel

What the hell?

[ Relevant?] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/review/B00032G1S0/RXXPVOUH9NLL3/ref=mw_dp_cr?cursor=1&sort=rd)

There can be only one: https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Dairy-Whole-Vitamin-Gallon/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

How about this one?

Tuscan whole milk, 1 gallon, 128 fl oz

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_see_all_top?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=byRankDescending

For those not familiar with tuscan milk , read the reviews:
https://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

How about some Tuscan Whole Milk?

From $99/gal. You can buy it from Poeboy for $10,000.

The reviews are amazing